What makes someone a 10?
It ain't all about looks, baby.
Looks are fine.
But charisma is everything.
There are a ton of ingredients that make up attractive, though.
That's why it's good to know your strengths.
Redditor Overall_Wish_912 wanted to hear about how hot everybody thinks they are and why, so they asked:
"What is the most attractive thing about you?"
I think my eyes sell the whole package.
Light blue with a slight dusting of gold.
Connections
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"More than a few radiologists over the years have told me I have nice connective tissues, ligaments in particular. Makes a fella kinda proud."
Southern_Snowshoe
Lashed
"I have exceptionally long and beautiful eyelashes. I’m working on my flutter. I’m also a guy."
bleepbloopmunchmunch
"I get complimented on my eyelashes too as a guy! Women often tell me they’re jealous. I never had a clue that was something women noticed until I reached college/university."
EasterButterfly
"I started getting compliments in high school. I remember freshman year, I was sitting at a round table and this really cute girl at the table just randomly asked me to close my eyes. I thought it was weird, but I did. Then she told her equally cute friend to look at my eyelashes, that they were so long and pretty like a girl's. At the time I wasn't sure if they were being nice or making fun of me (since they compared them to girl's lashes). I now get the compliment, though, and appreciate it."
DesertRat012
Beauty
"I'm not totally hideous, but easily the most attractive thing about me is my kindness. I hear all the time that people are just magically drawn to me/feel comfortable with me/like being around me. I'm charming, I guess."
StrangersWithAndi
"That’s such a good quality."
Overall_Wish_912
Look Up
"I'm 6'2 and the internet tells me that's like the most incredible and attractive thing ever apparently."
ConflictFast8743
"I’m 6’6 and wish I was shorter. My long-term girlfriend tells me I get checked out all the time but I literally never notice, I’d give up all the attention if it meant I’d never hit my head on a doorframe again."
CaptainLongshorts
"I'm only 6', but a woman and I have a 36' inseam. I love having long legs, they walk so fast and are my favorite physical feature!"
abqkat
Light as a Feather
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"My therapist said I’m a good egg, so there’s that."
CheddarBurgers
"Mine told me she never feels heavy when I leave her office. We’ve talked about some heavy sh*t so I took it as a compliment."
random_username3184
Not being the scariest and worst patient is definitely a gold star moment for the mind.
Perfect
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"I’ve been told I have the most perfectly shaped head for a bald man."
KilnMeSmallz
"My dermatologist recently told me I had a great shaped head if I were to ever shave my hair off. It really got me thinking."
Weeziir
For the Boys
"The only attractive thing about me is my hair. Even that is debatable since most women don't like men with long hair."
SlayzorHunter
"Haha for me it’s my bald head! I look a million times better without hair than with it even when my hairline wasn’t balding that bad. I think the pics of me at 28-30 I look better than my 18-25 pics."
OkSwitch470
"Some men just have the cranial and facial structures that make them look better with bald head. I shave my head every 3 years, so I know how I look with every single hair length there is. It only starts looking decent after at least 9 months of growth."
SlayzorHunter
Share With Me
"I'm very nonjudgemental; it's amazing the things people will share with me!"
PeterGivenbless
"Same. I've had people share some pretty personal things with me soon after meeting them."
Krissyfox_7
"Yup, same. I have 'tell me all your secrets' stamped on my forehead. I do like it, though. Nice to get to know who people actually are and what they’ve been through, as opposed to the robotic small talk. Makes me happy that people see me as a 'safe' person."
East_Satisfaction242
Streaks
"I have bright blue eyes that get me plenty of compliments. The only other thing that gets close is my beard, and now especially the silver streaks lacing it."
fuqaduck
"The Silver helps. I was accused of dying it to look more dignified by a coworker, which was puzzling. Not quite a compliment, but compliment adjacent I guess."
604Ataraxia
The Nuzzle
"My long nose, it’s perfect for nuzzling the bean while dining out 🤤."
sussyboingus
"I had an out-of-the-blue compliment about my nose. A woman approached me and said I had an envied Roman nose. Noticing my confusion, she explained she was an art historian, and my nose was in the mold of Roman marble statutes. I've never heard another compliment about my nose, so who knows."
TWH_PDX
The Body
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"I’m short but I have a very nice figure. I get complimented for my butt a lot. I’m 5’2." I like attention so I don’t mind the compliments for the most part. I don’t get bothered by that as easily as some people do. But I have no respect for men that complement my body when they’re in relationships."
DrWiskers
Well, there are a lot of definitions for attractive.
Thank goodness.
Nobody is perfect.
That is lesson number one when looking for love.
No one person is going to check off every box.
So that means that every red flag or warning is not life-altering.
That is called compromise.
But as long as they aren't buying bodies and storing organs... there is a lot that people can handle.
Redditor Cerseiriously wanted to hear about what warning signs people can live with when courting romance, so they asked:
"What’s a red flag you don’t mind so much in a potential SO?"
I can handle cheap.
Well, frugal.
Cheap to waiters? No.
But frugal for the future? Yes.
I Get It
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"Someone who isn't close to their own family. I'm not close with mine, either. I'd actually think it was refreshing to be with someone who understood and felt the same way."
JoeyTepes
Can't Commit
"A certain type of dating history. Everyone has their own style of dating. For example, Person A has a history of 3-4 year LTR but has never married while Person B doesn't have any relationships beyond 6 months. Person A thinks it's a red flag that Person B 'can't commit' when the reality is they simply end a relationship they don't see going long-term."
"On the other side, Person B thinks it is Person A who can't commit based on the fact they have years-long relationships but don't progress. It's all relative to how you compare the person's history to your own style of dating."
FunctionCreepy2096
As an older person...
"Not having a lot of prior relationships (as an older person). When I met my husband, he was 34 and had had only one serious relationship up until that point which was 15 years prior."
"Now I know a lot of people would see that as a waving red flag and think there was something 'wrong' with him, but the reality was he was in a male-heavy specialty (engineering college to an engineering job), had a job where he traveled about 90% of the time and, when I met him, had just moved back to the area where he had grown up after being away for over 10 years."
"None of that was conducive to meeting people or a relationship and, beyond that, he's not a particularly social person or someone who really revels in the company of others, which didn't help."
"We met online, we clicked, we started dating, we got married 2 years later, and are still married 18 years later."
Sniffy73
In Person
"Not being very communicative or chatty through text. Some people simply aren’t into texting. I dated a guy who was like that. At first, I took his lack of communication and short answers as not being interested… when in reality, he simply wasn’t much of a texter. I just accepted that’s how he was. In person he was great."
sweet_dream515
Dear Mama
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"'How a man treats his mother is a sign of how he'll treat you so be careful.'"
"Or if he dislikes his mom, doesn't want to help her, be there for her, talks bad about her. It could be because she's horrible and it's just a sign of how she treated him."
Prestigious-Phase131
Oh the mommy issues never end,
Love her. Hate her.
It'll all get covered in therapy.
The Socials
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"I’ve been told my lack of social media is a major turn-off and a major red flag. But I find a guy that doesn’t have any social media or very little attractive. It’s all about perspective."
asterbluesapphire
I blame all the Wattpad stories...
"I don't mind some mild (MILD) possessiveness. In fact, I think it's kind of hot. I blame all the Wattpad stories I consumed during my formative years."
_hootyowlscissors
"Same! My husband and I joke that we're both stage 5 clingers to each other 😂 not really that bad as we don't control each other but we're best friends, have all the same hobbies, and love spending all of our free time together. There's nothing better than a hard day's work and coming home to someone who is excited to see you, even if it's just a Monday."
Buffyfanatic1
No Mingle
"Someone who’s been single for a long time! I find jumping from partner to partner more concerning. Some people never figure out who they are on their own."
geminibaby
"You just described me, I got to a point where I am not just going to jump into a relationship with someone not compatible like I used to do before I knew who I was, I’d rather be single, but when people find out how long I’ve been single they think it’s a massive red flag."
Just_improvise
Tell Me More
"Absorbed in their hobbies/their work. I love that. Go buck wild, even if it’s obsessive. Also because bruh I have a terrible rest/production ratio. I need someone who understands. LOL."
Probablyawerewolf
"I see you've met my partner. Well, he's a grad student, so he doesn't have much of a choice in his workoholism. I'm trying to get him to balance it out a little bit, but I love his passion. He could spend hours telling me about his research, about a conference, or just about a paper he read once, and I love listening to that."
smallangrynerd
Let Go
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"Clinginess. I like it when she always wants to be around me and up under me."
FruitSnackEater
Cling. In love. Dependent. Co-Dependent. In love.
Is there really a difference?
Parents are meant to teach offspring how to survive in this world.
They're meant to guide us on how to be a good member of society.
But either some parents fail, or too many adults don't get the message.
And all that can lead to a mighty dysfunctional adult.
Redditor spirallinggg wanted to hear about the ways we can decipher if others have bad parenting, so they asked:
"What immediately tells you that a person wasn't raised right?"
Basic human decency is a sign of a good upbringing.
Garbage
"They throw trash out a car window."
shershae
"I live on a busy road and I’m so sick of people throwing their trash in front of my house. Some guy tosses out a tall boy beer nearly every workday. I can’t wait to move. Also- so many cigarette butts! We live in a high fire hazard area so I’m worried one of these days they’ll start a fire. I try to go pick up litter twice a month."
Pinkmongoose
Random Aisles
"People who dump refrigerated grocery products on random aisles."
glockops
"I work in a grocery store. The best one I saw was someone who ordered a hot pizza from our pizza station, which is made-to-order. Then abandoned it in the cooler with the refrigerated take-and-bake pizzas we have."
"I get finding stuff from our service case abandoned, it's already cold and our prices are much higher than some people think (the last abandoned item I found was a $20 container of our fresh fruit salad [which comes in pre-cut]), but the pizza station has set menu prices, they should have known what they were getting into before they ordered."
weedtrek
Be Responsible
"Lack of personal accountability. they can never admit wrongdoing on their part. it's always someone else's fault."
Sona-kin
I always told my kids that a mistake doesn't define who you are... but what you do AFTER the mistake DOES. We're human. We're gonna screw up throughout our lives. It's unavoidable. What we can control, however, is choosing to apologize, fix the situation, make amends, etc."
nakedwithoutmyhoodie
Rude
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"When they talk badly about someone who hasn’t done anything wrong behind their back."
flowerzforthedead
THIS. I've seen coworkers talking behind the backs of new employees and drawing conclusions about every aspect of their lives. Like, you've seen that person for three days, you MF.
Cold-Load-4388
If you can't say it to their face, then don't say it.
Why do people have to crap talk?
Check Please
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"Being super rude to people in any service profession. There is a time and place for actual, appropriate complaints but I see people constantly abuse service staff for no damn reason. Hell, even using 'please' and 'thank you' seems beyond some people. Bums me out."
CaptainLawyerDude
Others
"Lack of consideration for others."
NewVAinvestor1
"A lot of people do not fundamentally understand other people exist. They understand things exist. They understand those things should be referred to as people. But they do not understand those things have an entire existence and experience all their own exactly like them."
Sh3lls
No!
"When they can't take no for an answer."
NerdyPlaneResident
"I'm going to step up and admit to being guilty of this. For the longest time, I had it in my head that persistence pays off. Some of that was pop culture, some of that was tenacity in other areas of my life being rewarded, and then applying that to interpersonal relationships. Older and wiser me, though is more along the lines of learning to let go. It's still a struggle though, working against that original conditioning."
SergeantPsycho
Professions
"When someone looks down at others based on what they do. That just clearly shows that they've learned the same thing from their caregivers."
Leekayleigh_
"Oh yes. My husband took on a second job doing pizza deliveries. A few people laughed at him doing that at his age. They don't laugh when he explains his main job is simple and, deliveries are just driving blasting tunes and adds $900 a month after tax to our income. Then they see all the travel. Usually shuts them up."
CurvePuzzleheaded361
Offensive
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"Zero manners."'
Fuzzteam7
"I took a guy to a family beach condo because he says he never goes to the beach. Let him tag along with our group. Never said thank you one time. I dropped him back off at his house, and I said can you at least say thanks, he was so offended I asked or was trying to force a thank you."
berrey7
"BUT"
"When someone apologizes, and then adds a but onto it. For example, my boss held a meeting among the kitchen staff where he apologized for his attitude, and then added 'But you guys need to understand that I'm a no-bulls**t kind of person.' No sir, that's not how apologies work."
GimmickInfringement1
I hate a BUT.
Either you mean what you offer or don't say it.
All of us have surprising or unusual things people do that turn us on.
These can be simple things, like washing dishes, reaching for something on a high shelf, or pouring a drink which, whether it's the person doing it or the act itself, turns out to be surprisingly sexy.
Rather more interesting, however, are the things people do that draw us to them that aren't remotely sexy at all, but in fact completely wholesome.
Even so, seeing people do these things, or behave in this manner still has the same power to make us fall completely weak at the knees and melt our hearts.
Redditor levoyageursansbagage was curious to hear all of the innocent things that people find utterly alluring, leading them to ask:
"What is the most wholesome behavior you find really attractive?"
Excitement Can Be Infectious
"When people get really excited over something they enjoy."- BoiledCabbage
"Being genuinely excited about something."
"I love me a nerd."- Howdydobe
Loving All Living Things
"It was really hot and little rain for a couple of weeks and we have backyard critters roaming around typical of the suburbs."
"So my wife puts a big Tupperware bowl of water out that she changes daily in case an animal gets thirsty."
"I was looking at it one day and a stick had fallen in the bowl so I went to remove it."
"My wife yells at me, 'No! Don't take the stick out, that's so bees can crawl out if they fall in'."
"I thought it was adorable."- yakfsh1
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Truly Unforgettable
"When someone remembers a really random small detail I’ve only mentioned once."- Starriyer
Compassion Over Convenience
"Doing the right thing even when it’s inconvenient."
"I was on a date and he took a call from a friend in crisis."
"They worked the problem out and he said 'I love you' to his friend (who said it back)."
"He explained he needed to take the call and apologized that it happened during the date."
"No apology necessary!"
"He demonstrated loyalty and vulnerability and it was incredibly sexy."
"Even better that it’s just who he is; none of it was for show."- Hiberniae
"When someone helps old people."
"Maybe getting up to give their seat to them in a public bus or in general, helping them carry their heavy bags, or something."- itsMat_hi_ka
"When a person knows the right time to simply listen to someone in distress and the right time to offer advice."- Old_Army90
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The Greatest Love Of All...
"My husband will run around playing games with our son in the playground and will fully commit to whatever game that is.'
"There's no standing around talking to the adults, he will get fully involved in the make-believe world."
"10/10, fully present parenting."- Ambivertigo
The Gift Of Laughter
"People that make themselves crack up."
"People with their particular and weird little sense of humor that unashamedly laugh at what they think is so funny."
"Extra points if they’re laughing because of a joke they’re telling themselves."
"It’s my favorite thing to see someone do."
"As long as the joke doesn’t seriously hurt other people."
"I love good dark humor."
"If someone’s genuinely trying to be hateful, it loses appeal completely."- tresjoliesuzanne
"When I'm with my wife at a restaurant and the baby in the next booth is staring at her, she will wave to the baby and make funny faces to get the kid to smile/giggle."
"That."- SadConsequence8476
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Heal The World...
"I went backpacking with my boyfriend for the first time recently and I noticed that anytime we came across a little piece of trash on the trail, he would pick it up and put it in his pocket to throw away properly at the first opportunity."
"It just highlighted to me that he was conscientious and kind even when it came to things a lot of people would overlook, and I found that incredibly attractive."- snickerdoodle--
Happiness Comes In Many Forms
"Seeing a man be genuinely happy for someone else, I recently discovered this about myself."- West_Cherry3944
Literal Food For Thought
"A friend of mine has this habit of making sure that everyone around her has eaten on time."
"'A well fed tummy makes the brain think properly'."
"That's her exact words."- in_out_in_out_·
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No One Should Take Themselves Too Seriously
"Silliness, the sillier the hotter."- Fearless-Finish9724·
The Epitome Of Selfless
"My husband grew up extremely poor."
"Not homeless but close."
"Whenever we're out and we see someone asking for food, he will quietly walk over and take them to whatever restaurant they want."
"He will then order them whatever they want."
"When we met, he was in grad school and had no money."
"He still did this."
"It made me swoon."- curryp4n
Reading these heartwarming and touching affirmations, it does give one pause that kindness and compassion are considered so unusual.
Even so, no doubt that's what makes selfless, and kind-hearted people so attractive.