Look Away
the rock wrestling GIF by WWEGiphyI found out that holding extended eye contact is pretty much universally unappreciated. I always thought that giving full attention was respectful, but recently was told it comes off as the opposite. I've had to practice looking away at appropriate times. It's frustrating because I watch people for hyper-detailed body language, but conversations go better when I look away briefly for their comfort.
So Many ???????
For the longest time I never realized that when someone asks you a bunch of questions it's because they're trying to make conversation with you. I always just answered as briefly as possible like if it was a q&a or something. It kind of confused me that every new person I met was so interested in my life that they all wanted to know where I was from and what my favorite color of seven was. Now I realize how much of an ahole I actually came off as and why not many people wanted to talk to me.
Body Language
Most recently, I realized that when I look down and hunch my shoulders inward, people think I don't want to be approached. Apparently it's not enough to have your body faced towards people, you also have to hold it a certain way or they think you don't want to talk to them.
I've had people comment on my body language, thinking I don't want to speak to them, when it's typically me just existing. If I don't want to talk someone I usually just respond with "yeah/no/haha" or something. I rarely ever use my body to express something. Nobody ever bothered explaining that to me!
Weather Chat
windy bill murray GIFGiphyPeople talk about the weather a lot with strangers because everyone has it in common, and lots of people have opinions on it and from there it's easy to switch the conversation to something else so the conversation doesn't die.
"Say something. Anything"
I learned a few weeks ago that small talk and the occasional silence are okay and perfectly acceptable. Also, offering my input isn't always appropriate.
Being somewhere without someone talking unnerves me in a way that I don't know if I can ever describe. Like, we could be talking about whatever, sunshine and rainbows or whatever, and we run out of conversation, and they're totally fine with that, meanwhile, I'm about to have an anxiety attack if someone does start talking immediately. It feels like I'm about to be murdered right there and maybe worse.
It happened at a bar a few years ago where everyone had just stopped talking and I was freaking out.
I think the best example is from SpongeBob where he goes to Sandy's house and he starts thinking to himself "I don't need it" over and over again. Just change "I don't need it" to something like "Say something. Anything" and that kinda how I feel. Also, change the person I'm talking with from someone trustworthy and good to a poor Christian Grey and that's how I feel when no one is talking.
How to Talk
Both my parents have disabilities, while I don't.
My childhood and adolescence was weird as I had to unlearn a bunch of behaviors that were "normal" in my family, but which most people don't do.
Nobody in my family hugs, they prefer isolation and go without talking to one another for days, when they do talk it's a lot of "talking at", rather than "talking with".
We rarely left the house, we NEVER had people over.
High school was great for me because suddenly I found out I didn't have to feel lonely and bored all the time: I could have conversations and color and excitement and even just being out and about was so great.
Participation Points
Participating in conversations when introduced to new people. I don't really meet tons of new people, but sometimes a friend of mine will bring me to a place full of some friends I don't know. I was always just trying to be polite and not intrude. also drive-throughs. obviously I knew about them, but God do I hate them.
Until this year i couldn't even speak in a drive-thru. i found its something to do with being unable to see the person I'm talking to, which is probably why i cant call and order food or call a place to verify hours/inventory. good to know others struggle with this, and again used a persona to deal with the uncertainties of meeting new people.
being 21....
GiphyI only learned how to respond to "how are you" when I was 21, and I still feel stressed by it every time to this day.
"big kid"
No so much newly discovered, but as someone who just started a professional "big kid" job, passive aggressiveness and me being expected to do more then asked of me drives me nuts. If I screwed up just tell me I screwed up and I won't do it again. That's how I learn and grow. But subtly hinting at me about something is going to go right over my head. Or instead of coming to me directly about a problem gossiping about me to your co workers. :/ that one sucks.
Also you ask me to do a task I will do said task, I'm not psychic, I can not predict what you need before you need it unless I have been working with you for a long time.
I also don't know how to argue stand up for myself very well. Like if I'm being criticized for something that was actually not my fault I always just nod and take it bc otherwise I feel like I'm just making up excuses.
Okay fine....
real housewives of atlanta ok GIFGiphyI found out that when someone asks you to go do something with them, and you sound hesitant, that when they say "Okay fine, don't come then"... they still want you to go. I thought they changed their mind but apparently it's just something people say when they're emotional.
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A study of more than 650,000 people in Denmark found no link between being vaccinated against measles, mumps, and rubella and developing autism. The study is the largest of its kind and discounts a tiny study "published more than 20 years ago that has since been expunged from the medical literature," according to one report.
This is a comprehensive study which shows the MMR vaccine does not cause autism. How about we make this go viral? https://t.co/tYoGKYv8mc— Sheera Frenkel (@Sheera Frenkel) 1551762327.0
The results, published in the Annals of Internal Medicine, was conducted by researchers at the Statens Serum Institut in Copenhagen, give us insight into the scope of this study, which involved 657,461 Danish children born between 1999 and 2010. Some of the researchers involved in this study published an earlier article on this same topic in the New England Journal of Medicine in 2002. That study based its data from 537,303 Danish children born between 1991 and 1998.
According to Anders Hviid, one of the researchers involved in the study, conducting similar research was important because the concerns from a very vocal minority that there could be a link between vaccines and autism is as present as ever.
He said:
"The idea that vaccines cause autism is still going around. And the anti-vaxx movement, if anything, has perhaps only grown stronger over the last 15 years. The trend that we're seeing is worrying."
Hviid notes that the size of the study allowed researchers to investigate other claims that are made about MMR vaccine, such as a rather common one: That children already considered "at risk" for developing autism could develop the condition by receiving the vaccine. The same argument has also been made in cases of children who have autistic siblings.
Guess what? No connection. At all.
As Hviid and his co-authors wrote:
"We found no support for the hypothesis of increased risk for autism after MMR vaccination in … Danish children; no support for the hypothesis of MMR vaccination triggering autism in susceptible subgroups characterized by environmental and familial risk factors; and no support for a clustering of autism cases in specific time periods after MMR vaccination."
If you're wondering how such nonsense began, you have Andrew Wakefield to thank.
Wakefield is a discredited former British gastroenterologist who was the lead author of a fraudulent research paper claiming that there was a link between MMR vaccine and autism and bowel disease.
In fact, this latest study found that MMR vaccine decreases the risk of autism in certain subgroups, dealing yet another blow to Wakefield's "work."
That's a relief, right? You bet.
My favorite thing about the new autism/vaccine study was that it actually found that in many subgroups vaccination… https://t.co/RIoW0mHPuw— Health Nerd (@Health Nerd) 1551820511.0
🚨A massive study of 657,461 children, in which 6,517 kids were diagnosed with #autism, shows that kids who received… https://t.co/OU6oHDl2Lr— Dr. Dena Grayson (@Dr. Dena Grayson) 1551794038.0
Again: MMR Vaccines Don't Cause Autism Now confirmed by biggest study of 657,461 Danish children. Remarkably, MMR v… https://t.co/5IJyDGQd4F— Bjorn Lomborg (@Bjorn Lomborg) 1551777438.0
A major decade-long study has found there is no link between the Measles-Mumps-Rubella vaccine and autism. Examined… https://t.co/9lOpRyVbpK— C. S. Prakash (@C. S. Prakash) 1551749809.0
This news comes as reports of the consequences of anti-vaccination rhetoric continue to roll in. At this very moment, the United States is grappling with six separate measles outbreaks. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention noted that there were 206 cases reported in January and February. That amount is higher than all of the measles cases reported during 2017.
Get out there and vaccinate your kids, people! Science has spoken!
However, the following interaction was extraordinary. The customer that Lara approached was Donald Simon.
Simon has autism and is nonverbal. He was with his aid when they visited the coffee and donut shop.
When Lara approached Simon, the aid informed Lara that Simon does not speak.
Unfazed by the communication challenge, Bryan started dancing to Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi" which was playing in the background.
Donald began to dance along with Bryan and the pair exchanged thumbs ups and high fives.
Donna Maxon, Donald's mother, shared the video to her Instagram and also shared the joy that the interaction brought her and her son.
"Most people would not pay attention to Donald as soon as they realize he is unable to communicate, but Bryan figured out a way to communicate without words and it is very touching to me that he made my son so happy."
Lara also shared his thoughts in the incident.
"I am always dancing, and when I saw Donald smile, it was a great feeling. I love my customers."
Maxon later posted a picture of her son with the dancing donut dealer.
People are in love with this wholesome and joy-filled story.
@HuffPost Now this is real good news .. uplifting .. inspirational .. caring .. and just an amazing guys making an… https://t.co/N7ZXvl4v7C— Allan Westover (@Allan Westover) 1547827952
Looks like another wonderful hard worker deserves a raise!!!!🤗 @dunkindonuts Worker Dances With Customer Who Has… https://t.co/0iwf5Mcjtc— Sesi (@Sesi) 1547826864
Happy Friday! Here’s an awesome Human Kindness story out of New York. Let’s all be kinder to one another - it doesn… https://t.co/P4Zd853G1o— Health Solutions (@Health Solutions) 1547835071
@midlerontheroof (Instagram)
@midlerontheroof (Instagram)
@midlerontheroof (Instagram)
@midlerontheroof (Instagram)
@midlerontheroof (Instagram)
@midlerontheroof (Instagram)
Guess I know where I'm getting my coffee tomorrow.