There are roughly 100 thousand children every year, in the United States alone, who are awaiting adoption.
And not just babies or infants.
This includes children in their teens and pre-teens.
They often need to be adopted owing to sad circumstances, like being taken out of homes where they were neglected and abused.
Sadly, the transitions into their new life are often turbulent, and while the eventual outcome is often happy, that sadly isn't always the case.
"Parents who have adopted a older child (5 and up), how has it gone for you? Do you regret it or would you recommend other parents considering adoption look into a older child?"
If You Want To Do It, Be Sure You Want To Do It For Them.
"Adopted a child who was 11 when I was 21."
"He was my wife's younger cousin and his household was marred with substance abuse, filth, instability, and mental health issues."
"Knew it was bad but didn't know how bad."
"Took him (11) and his brother (14) for a summer once, just to give them a break from, what we thought was, a dirty house with an overwhelmed parent."
"Until I took them back the week before school started and saw the filth first hand, the smell and the random people coming in/out, the wreckage we were about to have to leave them in, the fact that in this time his Xbox and games, I had hand-me-downed him, has been sold along with their TV."
"The two had 1 mattress on a floor and the younger one said 'I can't wait for school to start back' and when I asked why, he said 'Because then I get to eat every day, like when I'm at your house'."
"I told them to just get back in the car."
"His mother never even called to ask why he or his brother didn't come home until tax season, to make sure we didn't claim them on our taxes, etc."
"Never wished him a happy birthday, Christmas, nothing."
"My wife and I grew up very quickly."
"We worked hard and got full custody about a year later when he was 12."
"He grew up healthy and happy, successful with great grades and a good head on his shoulders."
"His brother who was 14 lived with us for the first year then would go back and forth trying to help his mom get her life together before returning again, but for the most part during those years, the younger child we had full custody of and the older child came/went as he needed."
"It wasn't until years later when the younger of the two moved out with his friends, instead of taking our offer to go to college right after school, and began having substance abuse issues of his own that we learned the extent of the abuse he had endured at home for nearly his entire childhood and kept inside."
"Sexual and physical for years starting when he was about 5 from his mothers 'friends' and boyfriends and even a family member due to their terrible situation."
"It was heartbreaking."
"He ended up going through a pretty severe addiction period in his early to mid 20s and regardless what we've tried and how many small successes we've worked with him to reach, he always ends up in a severe depression and turning back to drugs again."
"The last time I talked to him, about a week ago, I told him I loved him and would help him get into a very nice rehab community when he's ready and help him get a good job and place for himself, but only when he's ready to be clean and until then, we simply can't do anything with/for him..and it was hard to do."
"I am in the 2nd half of my 30's now, have 3 children in grade school who need me like he did then who also love him, our oldest looks at him like a big brother, but unfortunately we have to keep our distance a bit so they don't have to see close-up the ugly side of addiction in someone they love."
"Now that he's an adult in his mid 20's himself making these choices, we can't have any real relationship other than the occasional call or letter until he's done."
"He loves them too, but he's got some demons that we cannot possibly understand and until he's ready to get help for them or help for his addiction, we don't have much of a relationship."
"His brother worked hard and straightened their mother out over the years into a functioning adult and mother, got her life together, a job, a place, everything and as adults, never left her."
"In fact, due to him, his brother spent the last year of his teens sharing our household and hers back/forth which wouldn't have been possible without him."
"The older brother and her are roommates now and we are very proud of him for the man he's become, what he's persevered, and the incredible progress he's made with their mother and how he's stuck by her side now providing as equals."
"I never realized it, but he and I really grew up together, only being 5-6 years apart in age and were best friends for years as young adults even after his younger brother moved out."
"One of my biggest regrets is somehow letting those days end."
"He loves his brother too, but his and his mother's relationship with his brother is the same as ours, the delicate balance between helpful/love vs enabling due to understanding the pain he's probably trying to understand/repress, until he's able to beat this, and he will."
"Nothing is perfect, just what you make of it I suppose, but it has highlighted to us how important the early years of a child's development are and how damaging all forms of abuse can be, regardless how much effort you put into trying to change things afterward, and also how important it is for a child to have an adult who genuinely cares about them, since sadly many don't."
"Would I recommend it?"
"Yes, but be honest with yourself why you're doing it and know what you're getting into."
"You're not getting a good/bad kid, you're getting an opportunity to be a good/bad parent."
"Children this age need you as much as a baby does, they bring happiness the same as a baby does and also present their own unique challenges the same as parents do, which is what they're signing up for too without knowing, and most importantly the reason you should be adopting is for them."
"You get to give your love, time, affection and a portion of your life, and heart, too."
"Would I do it again?"
"Every single time."- saaatchmo
Be Prepared.
"My wife and I adopted an older girl from our state's foster system."
"The girl was 13 when we adopted her and we were told she had a rough childhood full of abuse and she had been diagnosed with 'general mood disorder'."
"Little did we know that the psychological assessment was done by an unqualified state doctor and this little girl had severe issues that required more care than my wife and I were prepared for."
"We spent 5 years dealing with fighting, arguing, run away attempts, drug use, alcohol abuse, constant emotional manipulation, constant lying, stealing, etc."
"She was also in constant contact with her schizophrenic birth mother behind our backs, the woman kept feeding our daughter conspiracy theories and lies and constantly making the situation worse for all of us."
"We tried the best we could for 5 whole years, trying various different therapists, trying different parenting methods, seeing different doctors, all to no avail."
"It wasn't until about 5 months before her 18th birthday that we had to have her committed and we finally got a proper diagnosis."
"She was diagnosed with bi-polar and BPD and we finally had an answer to the years of hell we all had to go thru."
"We did our research and learned the proper way to parent a child with these conditions and things began to improve over the last few months she was with us, but on her 18th birthday she bailed and we haven't seen her since, that was 5 years ago."- Dragonace1000
The Love They Never Knew
"I feel I got lucky."
"He was 9 when we adopted him, but he was just grateful to have a home and people who loved him."
"My wife and I love him dearly as he does us."- TyrannoDragon
Have Absolutely No Doubts.
"My pre-adoptive son just moved in 6 weeks ago."
"He’s almost 10."
"Him getting here has been a bit of a long and wild story but he’s been in care since he was 6."
"It hasn’t been easy but there’s SO many older kids who need families."
"My biggest thing is just to make DAMN sure you’re committed."
"Know your limits."
"Be honest with yourself and your adoption coordinator."
"And demand honesty from the social worker as well."
"Ask for psych evals and treatment histories."
"Because if you convince yourself 'oh I can handle this' and you change your mind?"
"You are re-traumatizing that child."
"My son has complex trauma from years of abuse but the thing he talks about most after his meltdowns?"
"Having to leave his first pre-adoptive home because he kept losing his temper and throwing things."
"He’s been in 4-5 placements and a PRTF since then."
"I work with girls involved in juvenile justice so I felt uniquely prepared for this situation and even for me, it’s been physically and emotionally exhausting."
"I’m a single parent and we’re in the middle of a global pandemic so I’m sure that’s a factor."
"But if you choose to adopt there shouldn’t be any 'changing your mind' or 'this just isn’t working out'."
"That kiddo is part of your family."
"My son and I have a little mantra 'together forever. Even when things get hard, even when things get sad'.”- camilouwhooo
Not Everyone Is Meant To Be A Parent
"I adopted a 7 YO from foster care in 2017."
"It was an absolute failure."
"My wife pushed me to choose this child even though I didn’t feel the 'sparks' everyone talks about when meeting or hearing about their kids."
"I separated from my wife in 2018 and we shared custody for about a year."
"I asked her for a short break, and she took the child and never returned him."
"I can’t say I’m unhappy about her choice."
"I didn’t really fight for her to bring him back."
"I have seen him only a few times since then."
"I care for him as a human being and of course wish no harm upon him, but I’m not his parent."
"It’s one of the most difficult things I’ve been through."- bearbearbare
Older children who are hoping to be adopted need love above all else.
Sadly, love can't solve every problem.
But any parent committed to loving their children, no matter how difficult things might get, will ensure that they will somehow, in some way come out on top of all their troubles.
Even if it sometimes takes more love than you can possibly imagine.
Dog Who Was Left With A 'Wonky' Face After Being Attacked By His Mom As A Puppy Finds A New Home
An adorable rescue dog with a "wonky" face has found a loving home - after hundreds of adoption requests.
Brodie the German Shepherd Border Collie cross was born in a rescue shelter but was attacked by his mom when he was only 13 days old.
She bit his head leaving him with severe cranial and facial injuries - but the resilient dog survived with a permanently slanted face.
Amanda Richter/SWNS.COM
The poor little pooch's jaw fused together as he grew but one side of his face got stunted which left him partially blind in one eye.
He'd been adopted as a puppy but was returned to the rescue shelter after just five months as the owner complained he was “too hyper."
Amanda Richter/SWNS.COM
But Amanda Richter, 30, and boyfriend Brad Ames, 23, spotted the popular pooch Brodie on a posting online but despite his unusual looks, said it was “love at first sight."
The pair traveled to the Old MacDonald Kennels in Alberta, Canada, in September last year and brought him home the very same day.
Amanda Richter/SWNS.COM
The shelter said they received hundreds of adoption requests for the "wonky" dog, but ultimately Richter and Ames were the perfect fit.
Amanda said she cried a few times after seeing his picture online but hopes the energetic pup can now help people with disabilities after training as a therapy dog.
Amanda Richter/SWNS.COM
She said:
"I looked at his photos every day and even cried a few times. We felt drawn to him for some reason. We met him, took him for a walk and hung out with him for a few hours and ended up bringing him home the same day because the rescue really felt we were a great fit."
"He's definitely hyper but he is so intelligent. His brain is perfectly fine and he learns tricks within 10 minutes usually which tells me he is a smart boy. He just needed patience and someone to be consistent. He gets better every week."
Amanda Richter/SWNS.COM
The brutal attack left Brodie partially blind in one eye and other complications may arise as he grows, but the couple hope this will only make their resilient pooch stronger.
They are hoping to train him as a therapy dog for disabled people while raising awareness for other dogs with disabilities.
Amanda Richter/SWNS.COM
Amanda said:
"There is a chance they as he gets bigger more issues can arise, but for now he is as healthy and happy as ever. It's actually funny because when we go to the dog park everyone notices how he is the happiest pup there and just wants to play and run."
"We hope to train him to be a therapy dog one day so he can help other people with disabilities. We also hope that we can raise awareness for other special needs dogs and show people that just because someone or something looks different, they can be perfectly imperfect in their own unique way."
"Dogs are resilient and he has no idea he looks different so he enjoys his life just the same as any other pup."
Amanda Richter/SWNS.COM
Woman Reunited With Her Long-Lost Father 56 Years Later After Facebook 'Suggested' Him As A Friend
A woman was reunited with her long-lost father after 56 years when he was 'suggested' as a friend - by FACEBOOK.
Karen Harris was adopted as a little girl in the early 1960s because she was born out of wedlock.
The only thing she knew was her dad's name Trevor Sinden—which was told to her by a social worker when she was 18.
She tried to find him but with little information she failed—until decades later when she saw the name on the 'suggested friends' feature on the social media site.
Karen Harris / SWNS
Karen, of Penryn, Cornwall, saw Trevor lived 350 miles away in Kent but scanned the profile and from his details and history realized she might be looking at her father.
The pair then chatted for weeks and met for the first time in an emotional reunion on Friday—and they both said it was like they have known each other their whole lives.
Karen, 56, said her birth parents gave her up for adoption in the early 1960s.
They were teenagers and she was born out of wedlock, which she says "wasn't the done thing in those days".
She added:
"You just don't feel as though you belong."
''Looking at your family that brought you up, you're really grateful that they brought you up but you don't have that sense of belonging."
"Now I've found completion. I've found connection and completion and I'm cherishing it."
The re-united father and daughter decided to meet in Lyme Regis, Dorset, roughly halfway between Cornwall and Kent.
When they first spotted each other, they hugged for so long that a passerby said:
"I hope you know each other."
They had a lot of catching up to do in the following days, which were spent going on walks and searching for fossils on the Jurassic Coast.
Karen Harris / SWNS
Karen was also introduced to two of her long-lost cousins and has had "an amazing time with many new memories."
Trevor, 72, added:
"It's like all of her Christmases at the same time. It's so surreal, the chances of actually meeting were so slim."
"I have looked on the internet but could never find her. It's early days but I feel we already know each other quite well."
"If it wasn't for Facebook we wouldn't have met."
Karen had known few details about her father since she approached an adoption agency at the age of 18 seeking to find her birth parents.
A social worker shared with her what details they could and Karen managed to track down her mother around ten years later, after she had had a child of her own.
Finding her father proved to be more difficult.
She knew he was an electrician from Croydon but it was not until seeing that the information on his Facebook profile matched what she had been told that she knew she had finally found him.
He responded immediately and after seven weeks of chatting every day, they decided to meet.
She added:
"Those who are adopted can understand that moment when you first see someone other than yourself in a mirror that has your cheek bones, your eyes, your chin."
''It is something that someone who isn't adopted probably can't relate to or understand, but it changes the way you look at the world."
"Now there is someone else like me, loving me for me and I cherish every moment. I'm incredibly blessed to find him now."
Massachusetts Lesbian Couple Adopts Three Young Brothers Who Had Been Separated To Allow Them To Grow Up Together
KC and Lena Currie, of Sudbury, Massachusetts decided to adopt after seeing a photo of then-18-month-old Joey at an adoption event hosted by the nonprofit Children's Friend.
The couple knew right away that Joey would be a great fit for them.
Little did they know that they would soon be adopting 2 more little boys.
Lena told Good Morning America about their decision to adopt Joey.
"We saw a picture of Joey and Children's Friend mentioned [it] would be a good match. He was 18 months old at the time."
Baby Joey officially joined the couple the following March and quickly settled in. The three were getting used to life as a family when Lena and KC received another call from Children's Friend.
It didn't take long for the couple to decide to take in Joey's youngest brother when they heard he needed to be placed in a foster home.
Noah was only 6 weeks old at the time. Around a month after he came to live with the Curries, they also heard about the boys' middle sibling, Logan.
Logan was supposed to be adopted by the foster family with whom he was currently living, but those adoption plans fell through at the last minute.
When KC and Lena heard that Logan also needed a home, and Children's Friend asked if they might be interested in reuniting the brothers, the didn't hesitate to say yes.
KC summed up their thought process.
"It was our gut-feeling. We were going to end up saying yes because keeping the brothers together was really important to us."
"When they're older and have questions, they'll have each other to lean on and experience that ride together."
During last month's National Adoption Day, November 23, KC and Lena officially adopted Logan and Noah.
KC described the feeling of making things official.
" It was nice to check off a box and make it true to the world. We are their family. "
Lena said that the boys call them Mama and Mommy.
"A lot of times Joey says, 'Hey, Mommy-Mama' -- he'll settle for either one."
Veronica Listerud, director of adoption and family services at Children's Friend, praised the Curries for their flexibility and willingness to bring the boys back together as part of their family.
"It's what you want to see happen. They're a wonderful family. They're flexible—they really understand the kids' needs, the importance of maintaining sibling relationships and the long-term impact of that."
The Love Makes a Family board book is available here.
Amazon
19-Year-Old Cat Abandoned At Airport Finds A New Home Just In Time For The Holidays
This sweet story about an elderly cat changes the meaning of "Home for the Holidays."
Abandoned at Logan Airport, 19-year-old Tangee found a new fur-ever home just in time for the holidays.
While giving a gentleman a ride to Logan Airport, the driver was surprised at what the man did when they arrived at the airport. As the man got out of the car, he turned to the driver and gave him his cat, named Tangee, along with a note that said he was moving to Florida and would be unable to take her with him.
Not sure what else to do, the driver took Tangee to Boston Animal Care and Control. From there, the elderly feline was delivered to Animal Rescue League "ARL" Boston, who were quick to commit to the task of finding her a new home in time for the holidays.
The team quickly produced a blog post to include on their website, as well as Facebook and Instagram posts.
You can see the Instagram post here:
According to the team, the lovely Tangee is 19-years-old, which is the equivalent to being a 96-year-old woman, and she shows early signs of kidney failure. Beyond that, however, she's healthy, extremely energetic, and good-spirited, especially given her age.
The ARL team wrote:
"She's extremely friendly. For a 19-year-old cat, she's very spry and has a lot of energy."
The team also said on their blog:
"Tangee has quickly become a staff favorite!"
It took no time at all for Tangee to become a favorite and win hearts all across social media, as offers poured in from everywhere to provide her a new fur-ever home.
But the home Tangee eventually received was even more perfect than the immense outpouring of love online.
Just three hours after Tangee was settled and registered at ARL Boston, a woman appeared, who loved senior animals, in search of an elderly cat to give a home to in time for the holidays. She was unaware of Tangee's story and had no idea she was internet-famous.
The woman and cat were quick friends, and it was clear that Tangee had found a home she would enjoy for the rest of her life.
ARL Boston posted an update:
"Thank you to the hundreds of caring individuals who reached out regarding this sweet girl. She has found a wonderful home not only for the holidays, but for the rest of her life."
The internet immediately celebrated and rejoiced Tangee's quick find of a new loving home, sharing how deserving the elderly cat was of kindness.
@arlboston / Instagram
@arlboston / Instagram
@arlboston / Instagram
@arlboston / Instagram
It's heartwarming to see how many people were ready to help this one elderly cat, and how committed this group of people is to animals finding fur-ever homes and not just jobs as holiday presents.
If you have a feline (or canine) friend who needs a comfy spot to lay their head, the Soft Plush Donut Pet Bed available here in two sizes and four colors.