Sometimes it's all fun and games... until a child grows up to be a very confused adult.
1. Do they do refunds?
"My father used to tell my sister that he bought her at a Walmart like store for $25."
- blaziken
2. The moon is my biggest client
"My brother convinced a group of like 9 year olds that he was the moon's lawyer once."
- MeltyMint
3. This lie was taken way too far
"My daughter, when she was six, I convinced her that swallowing a mentos would grow a mentos tree in your stomach... One day I accidentally swallowed one in the car, had a discussion with my wife about "oh, I'm sure I'll be fine, etc etc" then let it sit a few days.
Used her bathroom a few days later. After I flushed, I threw a couple dead leaves on the toilet...
Waited a couple more days...
Woke her up for school with a twig placed behind my ear...
Waited a couple more days...
Woke her up with a branch sticking out of my mouth and me "screaming" for her to remove it... She looks at me, screams "MOOOOOOMMMMMM!!! DADDY NEEDS A DOCTOR! A DOCTOR MOM!!!!" and runs out of the room...
Best part is she was nine before she finally realized it was all a joke. Her friends all believed I had a tree in my stomach... I found out she took the twig from behind my ear to show and tell that week and the teacher didn't have the heart to tell her it was a joke. She just believed it so much. She's fifteen now and loves this story... Good times."
- comp21
4. I hate to break it to you, but you weren't always human...
"I convinced my sister that she was originally an origami dolphin, and my mom wished really hard she turned into a little girl (a Pinocchio-esque situation). She cried and asked my mom, who went along with my story. Sis believed for years that she used to be an origami dolphin."
- HellaDawg
5. Yum! Delicious lies
"We convinced my younger brother that those giant bales of hay wrapped in white plastic were marshmallows on the marshmallow farm.
Which he believed until he was about 18 or so, when he angrily came home after embarrassing himself in front of his friends and got mad at us for lying to him about the marshmallow farms."
-transmogrified
6. Everyone needs to use this one
"That if you sit quietly in the car, it makes the (Continued)
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car go faster so you'll get there quicker. This one worked on me for an embarrassingly long time."
- table_fireplace
7. Stick it like a gymnast
"Not exactly a lie, but I taught my kid to jump up, do jazz hands and yell "Tada!" whenever she fell down as a toddler. She'll come tearing down the sidewalk, trip, skid a few feet, and then pop up, a little shaky, and say "Ta...(deep breath) Daaaaaa..." I feel bad every time I laugh at this."
- paper_liger
8. The splendour of impressionable young minds
"When I used to babysit I would tell the kids that the popcorn wouldn't pop unless they started jumping. They would always say "nuh-uh" but with popcorn it takes a about 30 seconds at least to start popping. I would say, "it sure does, watch" and commence jumping. POP POP POP. They're eyes would get huge. I'd feign getting tired so they would help, and I wound up with a kitchen of 3 and 4-year-olds jumping for a few minutes until movie time. During which they would usually fall asleep, and I would get to work on homework. :)"
- spar3chang3
9. Wow, this is genius
"Sleeping with different blankets give you different dreams. Got nightmares? Change the blanket."
- cptwacky
10. Santa's elves hard at work
"I live in south-central TX and we have a place on the coast, I've made the trip there & back hundreds of times at this point in my life. When we were small kids doing the drive down late one night, my uncle told us that the incredibly large, well-lit and operational refineries and chemical plants we were passing were outsourced factories full of Santa's elves churning out presents shortly before Christmas. 10/10 would fall for this lie again, it added a nice layer of wonder to that part of my life."
- kali_is_my_copilot
11. Uh-oh
"Whenever a kid at work tells me they have a loose tooth, I tell them I have a loose foot, then I wiggle my foot around. I tell them I think my foot's going to fall off soon, but it's ok because it's just my baby foot, and my grown up foot will come in soon. I'll put my foot under my pillow, and the Foot Fairy will bring me a dollar for it.
If they say something like "That's not true! It's just teeth that fall out, not feet!" I'll say "Well, why is my foot so wiggly then?" and wiggle it some more."
- NotMyNameActually
12. Toys R Us: the museum
"My dad had some good ones: Toys R Us is (Continued)
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Toys R Us is a museum, so no, we can't bring anything home. All the animals at the zoo are different kinds of dogs."
- duckspunk
13. You're being watched...
"My teacher girlfriend told her class that the smoke detectors were CCTV cameras. Every time one of them obviously lies, she goes "Well I'll just go check the tapes and see who's right", and they fess up. Works every time."
- Rwandrall
14. God is having a bad day
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
- Spongewordy
15. It's totally true, which is why only I should play this game
"When I was younger and spent my weekends at big arcades, I would often play this one rail shooter game that required you to sit in a chair in a big plastic sphere. I would often tell the kids waiting in line, "If you die in the game, you die in real life". The looks of horror fuelled me for years."
- DemonRemover
16. I'm one of you
"I had my three year old niece convinced I'm six years old, just super tall, for a bit this weekend. That was pretty funny."
- angela_bee
17. Who is going to get the family curse?
"I have large, sharp canine teeth. My nieces have flat canines. I told them this is because I'm a werewolf, and when they turn 10 (twins), I will choose one of them to pass the curse on to. This started when they were around 3 -4, and they are just starting to really question it at 8, but the fact that my mother and sister agree with every aspect of my story is really confusing them. I'm going to start using fake blood and other props to reinforce it."
- Parictis
18. Humans start off as dogs
"Told my sister that humans start lives off as dogs. It was so funny, she waited (Continued)
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patiently for our dog to turn into a human so she wouldn't be the youngest."
- nothingbutsass
19. Oh honey, she's got the salt shaker out again...
"When I was a kid my parents convinced me that if you pour salt on a bird's wings they can't fly. I spent years chasing birds after dinner in the summer (never succeeded). My parents told me it was some of the funniest stuff they've seen in their lives."
-adrienneirda
20. Yeah, I'm kind of a big deal in the princess world
"My buddy tells his daughter about all the different princess' he used to date, until she figures out which Disney movie he's referring to."
- moosecakems
21. I've got an in with Santa
"I told my young cousin that I had lived next to St. Nicholas before he became Santa Claus and that if I called him up he wouldn't get any presents."
22. I'm still working past this one
"Follow your dreams. He he he."
23. Always. No matter what.
"No matter how fast you run at automatic doors, they'll always open for you."
24. Let me tell you the monster gossip
I was terrified of the dark as a kid.
So when my son was little, and he was scared of the dark, I told him monsters have really bad eyesight and if you sit still in the dark, there is NO way they'd ever find you. In fact, being in bed increases your chances of survival because who eats anything out of a bed? It wouldn't make any sense.
Anyway, they don't attack little kids anymore because (Continued)
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a few years ago, some red-headed 4 year old girl down the street went wild and really messed up some monster with a plastic guitar and now they are kind of nervous around kids. Especially those armed with plastic guitars. Also they have NEVER trusted teddy bears. They think teddy bears still have the vestigial claws of their ancestors, which is kind of a racist thing monsters believe. Good night, and here's your teddy bear and el kabong guitar.
I did all KINDS of stuff like that when he was little.
25. Microwave towers. It doesn't seem too far fetched
"You see those big red and white towers? Those are microwave towers. That's what powers the microwave in the house. Kinda like a radio."
Mixing truth and lies is always the best bet.
26. I lost my butt!
"If you unscrew your bellybutton, your butt will fall off."
27. Your parents definitely don't have that much skill
My younger step-brother was questioning Santa and the Easter Bunny. We were outside building and spray painting something and a loose tooth he had finally fell out of his head. He told me he was going to save it to put under his pillow and all that jazz but he didn't think the tooth fairy was real.
I wasn't about to spoil it for him so I gave him the run-around. Where does the money come from? How can your parents get it under your pillow without waking you up? Why would your parents give you money for losing a tooth but not for when you ask for something you want?
And then he said "Well where does the Tooth Fairy get all the money?" And I said without missing a beat "She sells the teeth to the companies that make spray paint." I shook the can, rattled the bearing and a wave of understanding washed over his face before he ran off to tell him mom he'd finally lost his tooth.
28. I'm calling your real parents up and they're REALLY mean
"If you don't eat your greens, you going back to your real parent!"
29. A lot of these can be used on adults as well.
The world's largest number is 188,343,242,341
The theory of evolution states that your both your parents are frogs
Pluto became a star because (Continued)
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it was too small to be considered a planet.
A lion's roar can be heard from the moon.
Blue became a color in the rainbow in 1999.
Issac Newton invented gravity.
Thomas Edison invented the Earth in the mid 1500s.
Saturn is the only planet whose gravity pushes instead of pulls.
The letter 'Q' appears twice in the alphabet.
The iFell Tower in Paris, France was built by Apple Inc. in the mid 1960s.
Penguins are the only flying reptiles.
Monkeys are their own uncles.
The Leaning Tower of Pizza is not actually made of pizza.
China is on the other side of the world.
7000 children are hospitalized annually by running into walls trying to get to platform 9 and 3/4
Botanists (scientists that study robots) are all born in Spain.
If you wear 3D glasses for too long, everything becomes 3D permanently.
Giraffes are the only dinosaurs that are still alive today.
Circles are the world's biggest shapes.
Genetically, cars are more closely related to boats than they are to trucks.
NFL players account for 12.6% of the world's population.
Laws were legalized in 1823.
"The fox jumps over the dog" is the shortest sentence in the English language to contain every letter of the alphabet.
0 is not a number. Numbers start at 1.
The knight chess piece was invented when scientists noticed that horses can only move in an L direction.
Bicycles have 5 wheels, but 3 of them are cut off at birth.
It takes 4.28 years for the Earth to make a full rotation around the sun.
The ocean is more wet during the night than during the day.
Owls and bats are the only birds that are nocturnal.
Clouds are made of the smoke from cigarettes.
Windows were put on planes so that people wouldn't get cancer from the clouds.
Square bubbles can be blown by blowing square breaths
People are originally born as monkeys and then evolve into humans when they are 3 weeks old.
When a bear and a deer mate, they make a beer, a popular carbonated beverage.
Check out more lies here: Source
For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
tsunami GIF
Giphy
"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
Scared The Launch GIF by CTV
Giphy
"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
Who Are You Reaction GIF by MOODMAN
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"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.
Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen
Giphy
What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPost
Giphy
Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
sleepy kitten GIF
Giphy
Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official
Giphy
Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...