People Share The Subtle Red Flags That Someone Is An A**hole

Wanting to see the best in everyone is not a crime.

But sometimes it can be a hindrance.

Most of the time, it's a superpower.

But, there are less than stellar humans out there.

Redditor mountcoffee wanted everyone to discuss how we decipher the people are awful, so they asked:

"What are your minor red flags that you use see as a subtle but very indicative sign the other person is an a**hole?"

I give too many people the benefit of the doubt.

I need to discuss more red flags.


Awkward Season 4 GIF by The OfficeGiphy

"They are dismissive of people who can do nothing for them."


"Major red flag, and it’s easy to tell if you get them out of a professional environment."


We make mistakes

"Never saying sorry. We are people. We make mistakes. And even if we didn't mean to, our words and behavior can hurt other people's feeling. Just say sorry and move on, it's not a big deal. But if someone is refusing to do so, it is a red flag to me."


"Well, there can be layers to it. My kids struggle mightily to ever admit fault and just apologize to each other when they’ve done something wrong. They think there’s some huge shame involved and for some reason it’s tough to shake them of that. Really, it’s the easiest thing in the world to say you’re sorry and move on, and they’re only slowly getting that."



"When they’re always the victim in conflicts with friends, coworkers, etc. people who have a capacity for self-reflection and owning their mistakes tell stories where they’re a**holes. Further, they’re able to talk about what they’d do differently or what they’ve learned, and how they took steps to repair the relationships. Never being at fault, always being the victim, and not taking responsibility for repair are huge red flags."


Talk Crap

"When they talk crap behind everyone's back but have what I like to call a sticky sweet personality to their face. I know some people like that."


"I used to be in a group chat with a bunch of people who did exactly this at least once a week,. I genuinely believe a lot of people who use said fakea** sticky sweet personalities are doing it to soften the blow if someone actually has a problem with em. Because they think 'Ooooh but they're so nice! this is just a minor blemish on a really kind person' to someone who would throw them in the car crusher because their ac was too loud."


Guys and girls... you're all a mess...

The Company

Season 5 Friends Tv Show GIF by FriendsGiphy

"What their friends are also like and how they interact with others/other people."


Be Nice

"The Waiter Test. The person who is nice to you but isn't nice to the waiter isn't nice person. This also applies to cashiers, counter help, hotel clerks, custodians, security guards and everyone else in similar positions."

"HOWEVER, don't apply the waiter test the first time you meet someone. Wait until they've been around you a few times and are comfortable in their skin around you. The first few times they are on their best behavior."


Talk to me...

"I live in Los Angeles so this happens a lot but basically whenever you talk to somebody, and it’s all about them all the time. You give your point of view or interject something about yourself and they immediately dismiss it and go back to them."


"Some people forget that a conversation is a two way street."


The Game

romantic lady and the tramp GIFGiphy

"In an office environment, overly kissing all the managers a**es so they'll let them cut corners all the while calling other people out on minor things. They know how the game works."



"When they know someone is behind them, but don't hold the door open. Just let it slam. Or don't say please & thanks to service workers. I understand sometimes missing the opportunity, but when it is consistent, I have been known to say something."


Look for the signs... they are there.

Did we miss any? Let us know in the comments below.

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