Sex in the workplace is a problem.
Everybody sees it. Eventually.
The glances.
The stolen moments.
It's all on display.
And the one lesson I've learned most assuredly is... you can't hide the attraction for long.
My best advice... be cool. Ignore one another.
And even that can be a sign.
Redditor IndependentSwimmer67 wanted to discuss the times we've all suspected the scandalous relations of coworkers, so they asked:
"What are the subtle clues that indicate two coworkers may be involved in a secret sexual relationship?"
The number of co-workers I've witnessed have flings?
I could write books.
Scandal
Season 1 Lol GIF by NBCGiphy"They laugh just a little too much and a little too loud at each other’s jokes."
GetOffMyLawnFFS
"They stare just a little too long…"
Meta_My_Data
Rimshot
"The new 17 year old kid where I work was overheard saying 'there's no way that Rimshot and the kitchen manager don't have something going on. You see the way they act around each other?' Me and the kitchen manager have been married for 12 years."
rimshot101
"My wife had that moment at her work. Patient transporter always stopped by and chatted up the unit clerk. Only 3 people in the department knew they had been married for decades."
DrunksInSpace
Disappear
"Always going to lunch together. Both call in sick or on vacation at the same time. Disappearing at the same time during team building or company functions. Both are working late. Leave work at the same time. None of these are conclusive but should create suspicions."
Impressive-Offer-404
"I worked in a place years ago with two co-workers who'd always disappear together for lunch and come back two hours later with McDonald's that they then ate at their desks. Not terribly subtle."
JimTheJerseyGuy
HR Ladies
"I had a boss who I was almost certain was having an affair with one of our HR ladies. They would always sneak off to go chat together, they'd go smoke together, they took lunch together every day, she'd go hang out in his office. They were both married."
"Her husband got offered a job at the company and I remember when my coworker learned about it he was like 'really?' And gave a wide-eyed glance and a nod over at our boss's office. So I wasn't the only one who thought this. As soon as her husband came to work there, all the visits stopped."
SweetCosmicPope
Restaurant Life
Tv Show Hulu GIF by The BearGiphy"Check to see if they have both significant others, if the answer is yes than they are probably doing it. Especially if it’s a restaurant."
NotGlumExamination
"If it's a restaurant, significant other or not, they're f**king. - 25 years working in restaurants."
sam_the_beagle
Oh, the restaurant life. Sex and food = Scandal.
Let's Play
Love Island Couple GIF by PeacockTVGiphy"They don't work in the same areas but are constantly together, looking at each other too much plus referencing conversations they had outside of work. They are a little too playful."
Shepard_of_fire_124
“AGAIN?”
"There was a rumor at my last job that I was sleeping with one of the cashiers. The rumor got started because she was my best friend and I would give her a hug every morning when I saw her. Most people assume men and women can’t be just friends, so obviously hugs equal sex."
"The moment I found out about the rumor I texted her fiancée and said 'Apparently Haylee and I are having an affair. It came as quite a shock to both of us, because we had no idea.' He though it was pretty funny. When I told my wife, she said 'AGAIN?' This isn’t the first time a rumor like that has been started about me."
DieHardAmerican95
Oh Emma...
"Frequent eye contact, conversations that revolve around flirting, slight touches."
Inside-Currency9002
"One time we were in a meeting with just the newbies doing training (no management) and one of the girls very lightly brushed the arm of the guy next to her while getting a pen or something and this girl Emma just stops and shouts 'WHEN DID YOU TWO START SHAGGING?!'
Wind_Yer_Neck_In
How Strange...
"My wife was pulled aside once by her religious boss who pointed out that he had noticed her leaving the building at lunch times with a strange man and that he didn't think that it was appropriate knowing that she was married."
"What he didn't know was that the 'strange man' was me. We happened to work for different companies on different floors of the same building. Some times it's best to keep out of other people's business."
MickSturbs
Hang Ups
"I worked at a law firm a while ago and one of the partners and the receptionist were having an affair. Both married and the receptionist became pregnant. I’m not entirely sure who the kid’s father is. But the way I could tell was that I was her backup coverage so any time she needed a break I would cover. The partner would call and either ask for his secretary and hang up before the transfer happened or say nothing and hang up. They both divorced their spouses and are now married."
naturalguy38
We Notice
Season Finale Moments GIF by Sweetbitter STARZGiphy"When it happened at my old job we started to notice when their lunch breaks started to align and they both walked out of a private room together everyday. They were both on their cell phones at the same time and refused to really talk to each other in person."
sunshineandcats21
The signs are there if you look closely enough, especially in certain jobs like restaurants.
Do you have any signs that we missed or funny stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Wanting to see the best in everyone is not a crime.
But sometimes it can be a hindrance.
Most of the time, it's a superpower.
But, there are less than stellar humans out there.
Redditor mountcoffee wanted everyone to discuss how we decipher the people are awful, so they asked:
"What are your minor red flags that you use see as a subtle but very indicative sign the other person is an a**hole?"
I give too many people the benefit of the doubt.
I need to discuss more red flags.
Nothing
Awkward Season 4 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"They are dismissive of people who can do nothing for them."
BRS023
"Major red flag, and it’s easy to tell if you get them out of a professional environment."
bowtrout
We make mistakes
"Never saying sorry. We are people. We make mistakes. And even if we didn't mean to, our words and behavior can hurt other people's feeling. Just say sorry and move on, it's not a big deal. But if someone is refusing to do so, it is a red flag to me."
Taiyo_K
"Well, there can be layers to it. My kids struggle mightily to ever admit fault and just apologize to each other when they’ve done something wrong. They think there’s some huge shame involved and for some reason it’s tough to shake them of that. Really, it’s the easiest thing in the world to say you’re sorry and move on, and they’re only slowly getting that."
Mikesaidit36
Repairs
"When they’re always the victim in conflicts with friends, coworkers, etc. people who have a capacity for self-reflection and owning their mistakes tell stories where they’re a**holes. Further, they’re able to talk about what they’d do differently or what they’ve learned, and how they took steps to repair the relationships. Never being at fault, always being the victim, and not taking responsibility for repair are huge red flags."
MrsDarcy1983
Talk Crap
"When they talk crap behind everyone's back but have what I like to call a sticky sweet personality to their face. I know some people like that."
EchoSpecial87
"I used to be in a group chat with a bunch of people who did exactly this at least once a week,. I genuinely believe a lot of people who use said fakea** sticky sweet personalities are doing it to soften the blow if someone actually has a problem with em. Because they think 'Ooooh but they're so nice! this is just a minor blemish on a really kind person' to someone who would throw them in the car crusher because their ac was too loud."
TheRockingGoomba
Guys and girls... you're all a mess...
The Company
Season 5 Friends Tv Show GIF by FriendsGiphy"What their friends are also like and how they interact with others/other people."
nazeem_ihateyou
Be Nice
"The Waiter Test. The person who is nice to you but isn't nice to the waiter isn't nice person. This also applies to cashiers, counter help, hotel clerks, custodians, security guards and everyone else in similar positions."
"HOWEVER, don't apply the waiter test the first time you meet someone. Wait until they've been around you a few times and are comfortable in their skin around you. The first few times they are on their best behavior."
AnybodySeeMyKeys
Talk to me...
"I live in Los Angeles so this happens a lot but basically whenever you talk to somebody, and it’s all about them all the time. You give your point of view or interject something about yourself and they immediately dismiss it and go back to them."
DonJuanDingdong
"Some people forget that a conversation is a two way street."
Pass_the_Lasagna
The Game
romantic lady and the tramp GIFGiphy"In an office environment, overly kissing all the managers a**es so they'll let them cut corners all the while calling other people out on minor things. They know how the game works."
psycharious
Slammed!
"When they know someone is behind them, but don't hold the door open. Just let it slam. Or don't say please & thanks to service workers. I understand sometimes missing the opportunity, but when it is consistent, I have been known to say something."
PokerQuilter
Look for the signs... they are there.
Did we miss any? Let us know in the comments below.
One of the best things you can do for yourself is to surround yourself with the right kind of people. These can be people who are fun or intelligent or hilarious.
When you're making new friends, it can be easy to find someone who seems nice at first, but turn out to be different than you imagined.
Sometimes this can be made very obvious. However, other times, these signs are very subtle.
As long as you pay attention, you should be okay. However, it also helps that Redditor my-dogatemy-chancla asked:
"What’s a subtle sign that someone is not a nice person?"
Laughing At You, Not With You
"Once you start noticing the people that are constantly laughing at someone else’s expense, it can be a wake up call to keep different company."
– Joyful_F**ker
Will Dish It Out, But Can't Take It
"Likes to make a joke of other people, but can't stand being the butt of a joke themselves."
– AnotherDreamer1024
"I'm nice. I'm so nice!"
"They keep reminding you that they’re a nice person."
– TrinixDMorrison
The One-Uppers
"Everything you say you've done they've done twice"
– SoftwareRound
Pot...Kettle. Have You Met?
"People that call the kettle black. Will judge people all the time, usually low hanging fruit that’s on the mark, but sounds awfully silly coming out of their mouth bc they’re guilty of the same things."
– Rough-Tension
Now You See Me, Now You Don't
"They're around for stuff that benefits them, and exclusively for that. E.g. they'll be there when you throw a barbecue but won't be when you're moving."
– silhouette-of-a-gun
Honesty Is NOT Always The Best Policy
"They’re always “just being honest”"
– forgotten_alamo
A Mess Can Be Cleaned Up
"Someone that drops litter or doesn’t clean up after themselves in a fast food restaurant. No thanks. Bye"
– LITTLEs8
Do The Bare Minimum
"They don't put their shopping cart back in the rack."
– PurplePap
Me, Myself & I
"When you are talking about something, anything at all. and they say something that isnt apart of the conversation to get onto the thing THEY want to talk about."
– Arturo271
Now, of course, there are plenty of people who are just as nice as they appear to be. Maybe even nicer.
However, it never hurts to pay attention to those subtle signs.
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