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Students Share Their Best School Related Life Hacks

Students Share Their Best School Related Life Hacks
Photo via Wikimedia Commons

It takes a serious survival instinct to make it through school. It's one of the hardest environments in which to thrive, but these students have come together to share their secrets and make the school experience a little easier.


u/MisterHomerJSimpson asked:

Students of Reddit: What is your best school life-hack?

Here were some of the answers.



Sweat

Find time to get some exercise in.

All of that grab n go/fast food catches up to you fast

I got fat as f*ck in college and have since lost all that weight. I wish I made time to at least squeeze in a 30 min workout every other day.

Zenkikid

Food Practice

For all my fellow commuters out there: Meal Prep!

You will save so much money by making some rice and chicken at home instead of buying some food every day. I used to buy subway twice a week as i was at school for a long time of those days. I just started to do meal prep and i feel so much better about not spending that much money anymore.

IForgetMyNames

I Know Nothing, Jon Snow

If you need to participate in group discussion but aren't sure about the material, ask intelligent questions instead of trying to answer what you don't get - it'll buy you time and you'll still be participating.

See the professor/ta during their office hours if you need extra help understanding something. No one comes to office hours and they're usually really happy to help.

AOLchatparty1999

Anti-Procrastination

My classmate took up a strict 9-5 school schedule, right from the first semester. Every day, he'd work 9-5. He was either in class, working on homework, or studying if he got everything done. At 5pm, he'd pack up his stuff and was done for the day.

He had all his homework done way ahead of schedule and never had to pull all nighters or waste weekends on homework. He was never stressed out or anything like that because he'd spent time studying when he wasn't slammed with homework.

I could never manage it because I'd rather procrastinate and start 3 hours before it was due, but it seemed like the best way to do it.

edcRachel

Money Savin'

You can google by file type. Using the syntax

filetype:pdf Name of the Textbook I Need

will often give you downloadable versions and save you hundreds of dollars. Plus being able to ctrl+f a textbook is a lifesaver.

This of course can be applied to any other file extension

Letho72

Tricking Your Brain

If you don't know how to study, or have a hard time getting yourself to do homework: Get a friend to buddy with.

My ADHD a** can't study to save my life, but if my friend is in the room concentrating on that sh*t, I feel like I don't want to be left out, and I'll buckle down so we're on the same page.

If you can't manufacture executive function, peer pressure is fine too.

daitoshi

Please, Please, Please

As someone who just graduated college, do yourself a favor and actually go to class. You're paying for the chair (if you're in the US) and there is research on a correlation between greater absences= greater likelihood to fail a course. I know you hate the class, but go. I might literally be begging.

OkayestHistorian

Sacred Space

Your goal is to find the bathroom on campus that's used infrequently and find out when they clean it. When you find the perfect time and location, don't tell anyone until you graduate.

Martina_Rivera

Metamillions

You've got to play the meta-game. If your lazy and unorganized like me, you won't have time to properly study for everything and complete every assignment. That's when you look at the grade distribution and start with the items that are worth the most.

hog167

Reminders For My Sanity

All my college student friends out there:

Make sure to give yourself enough time to sleep every day.

Get a little exercise when you can. It helps relieve stress and works to counter all the cup-o-noodles you're likely chowing down on.

Personal hygiene is huge. Shower every day, brush your teeth, wash your hands. It'll make you happier and believe me when I say that people can ABSOLUTELY tell when you don't do these things, regardless of how well you try to mask it with deodorant/gum.

It may be tempting to relax first and wait to do projects/papers later before they are due, but if you do the opposite you will find that there is WAY less stress involved.

Meal prep is a great way to make sure you are eating well while saving as much time as possible during the week.

Talk to your instructors. Get to know them. Their advice can be invaluable in knowing what they expect in the classwork and homework, and after you graduate you will want to ask them for letters of recommendation for jobs. If you don't have a relationship with them they are less likely to give you one.

Likewise, talk with your classmates. Lifelong friends are made in college, sometimes in the most unlikely circumstances/classes. I was a history major and met one of my best friends in a seminar class about genocide, we went out for ice cream and watched cartoons after each class to cheer ourselves up. And now nine years later we still meet up once a week for ice cream.

Remember that no matter how stressed you get, how hopeless things may seem when the world seems to be putting you under as much pressure as possible: There are always people out there who care and who want to help you. Most colleges have student counselors who you can talk with for free and get things off your chest. The college where I work also has a "Zen Den" where you can go to relax, sit quietly in a bean bag chair or hammock, and just get away from things for a minute. Chances are yours may have similar resources for students.

And finally, always remember: You are loved. You are enough. You are beautiful. You are worthy. You are irreplaceable.

SnaggyKrab

WikiHacks

If you want to use Wikipedia when writing an academic essay, just cite the sources that Wikipedia cites. Not only does it reduce your workload a lot, but it makes it look like you've done a ton of reading during your research which your professor will be really impressed by.

AddictedToJackingOff

Become Who You Are

Throw yourself into the course. Network like a maniac. Help out on projects that are tied to professional businesses. Volunteer. Long gone are the days of being paid to start the best band in the world. You are paying for a service so get the most out of it.

Or don't go and get a job instead. Master that, make cash money, train and get qualifications.

Or f*ck about with a minimum wage job, do the festivals, travel, hike up mountains and camp under the stars, join the greatest band in the world or learn to paint. Do something while you learn what you really want to do.

Mostly? Wear sunscreen.

DreddPirateBob4Ever

Teachers Gonna Teach

Teacher here, but I work with hundreds of students every day.

Here's the 100% best school hack ever. ASK QUESTIONS! If you're confused about something, ask. If you forgot something, ask. If you need something explained again or in a different way, ask. Ask, ask, ask.

Teachers choose the job they are in because they want to educate. We aren't doing it for the hours, the pay, the prestige, the summers off, or the joy of working with apathetic children and their angry parents. We stay in the career because we want to make the future generations better than those that came before.

Most of the time, we can't help you if you don't let us know you need help. Ask, ask, ask, and ask some more. If the teacher doesn't want to help you, keep asking around until you find someone who will.

Also, learn to ask good questions. Don't just say "I don't get it," because that's not a question and the teacher (or whomever you are asking) has nothing specific to go on. Instead, say, "What do you mean by these directions?" or "What am I supposed to do here?" That helps narrow down where your struggles are and lets the teacher zero in on how best to help you.

TheUnknownStitcher

Good Tips

College instructor here. Here are my best tips for getting good grades in my classes:

  1. Read your syllabus. It'll tell you what the assignments are and how much they're worth for your total grade, so if you're in a situation where you're in a time crunch and have to choose between doing two assignments, you can do the one that's worth a larger percentage of your grade. Not that I advise skipping homework, but if you have to, you have to.
  2. Get a calendar and plan ahead. At the beginning of the term, you should write down when the tests are, but also the due dates of the large projects. Then, working backward, set milestones about how far you should be on the project so you don't procrastinate and try to cram it all in at the end. Once you have a plan set up, follow it.
  3. Do the work with the intent of the question in mind, not the literal wording. Instructors aren't always perfect in their wording, so if a question says something like "Do an internet search for software to help you in [whatever discipline] and explain what you find, do what you know the professor is asking, don't just write "I did a Google search and a bunch of links came up." You won't get points for being clever.
  4. Use correct grammar and spelling. You'll get a bad grade if I have to decode your answers.
  5. DON'T use services like Quillbot or Chegg. If your answer comes too close to the textbook company's answer on a short-answer question, you're going to get flagged as a potential plagiarist, and I'm going to watch your answers like a hawk for the rest of the term. Just do the work as assigned. It's not that hard (unless you're going into medicine or physics or something like that, in which case it is that hard, but you need to actually learn it, so you should do the work anyway).
  6. Do projects outside of school that are related to your field of study. This stuff stands out in a big way when it's time to get a job. When an interviewer asks "What did you do outside of class" and you can say that you worked on a project related to your field, you'll see the interviewer's eyes light up.
  7. Learn how to eat like an adult. A lot of people never learn how to do this. Good nutrition will not only keep your weight in check, but you'll have more energy during the day (and for study sessions at night). And Coffee =/= energy.
  8. Learn to drink like an adult. Binge drinking will make you feel awful, and will take you days to recover. Have a good time, but know your limits and be safe.
  9. Don't come to class high. I will know, and you'll be branded as "that kid who comes to class high."
  10. Use the opportunity to meet people that aren't like you. Sounds corny, but we all live in our own bubbles, and school is a great place to learn about cultures unlike your own.

Good luck, students!

jrice441100

Nu-Nutrition! Nu-Nu-Nutrition!

Buy a Crock-Pot and find some cheap recipes online. Saves time, money, and you get more nutrients than cheap ramen soup. Also, depending on how big it is, you might be set for at least a week's worth of food.

gacho_bad

An Essay On An Essay

How about how to actually write a decent essay?

There's all sorts of college "hacks" out there, but what about the one that makes everybody squirm? Once you learn how to write a college paper, you'll want to die a little less. Read below.

First fundamental rule: Schmooze the professor by agreeing with his logic. Come on. Easiest trick in the fucking book. Don't be a total kiss ass though. Also, avoid big ticket issues if you get some freedom with topics. Do you really think your professor wants to read ANOTHER paper on abortion or gun rights? You need to be a hipster here to get some attention.

(Though i have to admit, writing an essay explaining the benefits of slavery to my black African Studies professor was just...awkward. I choose the economics route. There's a reason the Confederacy couldn't produce jack shit for firearms during the Civil War and it has a lot to do with lack of mechanization.)

Every essay of any given length starts with a general set of rules that must be known and applied. Failure to do so will result in suffering and poor grades.

  • Avoid unnecessary bullshit. Does that sentence need to go there? No? Get rid of it, or move it. Students tend to write stupid, irrelevant shit in a futile attempt to pad their essays. If you follow the instructions below, you won't need to pad your essays, because there will already be enough padding in them! If it is truly relevant but only has one sentence, consider exploring it further. It may fan itself out into an entire paragraph.
  • No I or me statements unless requested by the professor. Third person only. Need a feel for this? Read a few academic articles on the subject of your choosing. Notice how things are written. It's rather dry, unfortunately, but it gets A's.
  • Correct formatting is a must. Thankfully, templates are available on-line for all major academic formatting styles, meaning you can focus on typing and then slapping it into the template document at the end. Again, as mentioned in the prior post, Citation Machine is a must. Cite your works as you go. Keep a copy of cited works for yourself if you can. The Purdue Owl is a must. Your professor is going to make you buy the APA/MLA/Chicago Tribune book. You'll likely never read it, because all the information in that book is concisely written on the Internet, and more specifically, on the Purdue Owl, with nicely formatted sample text so you can figure out how to cite a page in your essay text and move on with your life.
  • Run your shit by your teacher at least once, preferably twice, when 1/2 to 3/4 of the work is done. They can prevent catastrophic fuckups. Nothing is worse than having to rewrite a paper in three days.
  • Understand that this process takes time. You will still fail horribly if you try this in one night. Pace it out over two weeks, though three is best if you can afford the time. That way you can muse on the work and get some nice, solid ideas for analysis. Half my decent ideas came at the bus stop or while walking home from class. You can't squeeze out really good ideas like that if it's 3AM and you're in the library.
  • A correctly written academic paragraph can run at least ten to twenty sentences. it gets worse if you can actually can explain it in detail.
  • Understand that at the end of it all, you really are just polishing a turd. And since Mythbusters proved you can do such a thing, you can too.
  • Ideally, you'll want to have some ideas listed out. Since drawing diagrams and storyboards and all that seemed like stupid, pointless bullshit to me, I simply wrote down a shopping list of ideas that would form each paragraph. Not a lot of detail, usually one or two core sentences. It's a start....
  • Unless your University's Writing Workshop is in cahoots with your professor and their associated assignments, don't expect them to help you actually think of what ideas to write. Not only that, but most of the time, they are SWAMPED before a big essay is due, and wait times are long. They will not have time to help you write your essay in any meaningful way, and even if you do set up an appointment, it is usually not at an optimal time.
  • This is not a catch all formula. This generally works for most humanities classes where it is expected that you read some stuff, analyze it, and write a paper. In more technical areas, it still works, but you'll have to tweak it a bit.

So your first piece is going to be the introduction. This section is of importance, not in terms of your content, but with how you set the stage for your reader (e.g the professor). Psychologists have noted that people are able to remember only the first and last parts of anything, including lists, books, movies (who remembers the end of a move in detail, but are kind of fuzzy on the rest of the details?). So make sure the first and last parts are decently written. As Judge Judy says, you only get one first impression...don't screw it up!

Luckily, you actually have some flexibility here, which is a luxury. You have to introduce the topic, and you can usually do this in a variety of ways. Personally, I start by rattling off some statistics, numbers, or facts in a clever (yet academically professional) way, or maybe tossing in some tangentially related anecdote. A good first sentence sets the stage though, so pay attention to that, be creative. After that, there's the introduction of the topic, the issues to be covered, and thesis sentence. It's what you're going to be trying to prove (or disprove). This should be the last sentence in your paragraph. No analysis here though. Then it's just a chain. A long, stupid chain of the same crap over and over and over and over until you reach your conclusion. You'll transition cleverly into the subject of your next paragraph, and don't skip this crap. transitions take the clunkiness out of your essay. "One of the first things that can be noticed about bullshit XYZ is that...", while your intermediary paragraphs will have a transition that references the last paragraph, and somehow ties it into the last one. "While XYS was interesting, Characters Jerry and Gazorpazorp are important as well for a variety of reasons. One of these reasons is blah blah blah im too lazy to keep up the example."

Once you get your transitions out of the way, you just start rattling off your supporting pieces. This includes quotes, citations, and an explanation of evidence. Just keep barraging them until the next piece. There may be some mild explanation here, but don't get too analytical. That's the next part. Each piece of evidence should be transitioned with "additionally", "secondly" "finally" "even further" and "furthermore" before you you discuss each piece of evidence. Use them tastefully, and hit the thesaurus once in a while to prevent word fatigue (this is a common problem, where students use the exact same word or phrase multiple times because they are being unoriginal. This is a problem because it tires the reader and sounds terrible. Don't do that). If you learn nothing else from reading this, understand how powerful these little words can be in getting a decent sentence in your paragraph. I have noticed, in my college years, that the crappiest essays I have read from my peers DID NOT include these phrases. While including them doesn't guarantee an A per se, it certainly adds that pizazz that good essays have. Again, we must focus on polishing the turd...

Last section of the paragraph is the analysis. You'll circle back around to your supporting pieces and then somehow tie them back to your thesis in some fashion. But you actually have to analyze them and come to some deeper conclusion than anything superficial, otherwise you are just wasting your time, and honestly, you are most likely completely missing the point of the entire assignment. You are not writing a book report, remember that. That's for elementary school. We're talking about discussing the underlying social themes of a book, the significance of someone's actions on a political movement, etc. This is where you actually look at something and realize that there is more than meets the eye.

Rinse and repeat. Eventually you'll hit the limit. Don't go to the minimum. Ever. That's for lazy students, mostly. Finish it when you are finished, unless you have a maximum (I struggled with these, honestly, and usually begged the professor for an extension limit, and they would usually oblige to see what you would spit out).

The conclusion is merely a recap of your essay, in which you will reiterate briefly over your analysis/evidence and how it pertains to your thesis. It is not a very important piece, but needs to be written well nonetheless.

As for grading, it comes down to a few things. Your professor may have a template for grading your paper, or they may just go off of instinct. Most times, they both play in, especially when they have to grade a hundred or more. If nothing else, if you've been a decent, respectful student who came to office hours besides the days before the paper was due and at least made some effort to show interest, it will help a lot. I've even heard from professors that a student who busts their ass can get a bump of at least a letter grade. That makes a C- paper a B-, even if their paper was piss poor and barely grasped anything the professor gave lecture on.
This is the formula. There is still quite a bit of subtlety to writing a decent paper, and I think a lot of students struggle with it even into the formative years of college. I think one of the worst things people do is write what they are thinking. This is actually quite easy to spot, especially from someone who writes a LOT in their free time. People tend to write run on sentences a lot, so it comes off as mixed garbage.
Parse back through your polished turd once in a while and edit as you read. It kind of helps. Freinds also add a nice perspective.

Commander_Shepard_

Old Wives' Tales People Still Believe For Some Reason

"Reddit user the_spring_goddess asked: 'What is an old wives tale that people still believe?'"

Close up of an owl tilting their head to side, looking bewildered
Photo by Josh Mills

The old wives' tales.

They are the stories of legend.

I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.

Where did they originate?

WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!

You don't hear about them as much anymore.

It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.

But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.

Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:

"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"

"Wait an hour to swim after eating."

What a crock!

So many summer hours wasted.

I want revenge for that one.

Say Nothing

Giphy

"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."

LonelyMail5115

"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."

I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA

Say Something

"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."

Severe_Airport1426

"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."

crappycurtains

"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."

AlbinoShavedGorilla

Body Temps

"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."

chriseo22

"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."

"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."

apocalypticradish

Arms Down

"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."

Fatmouse84

10 Years Actually

Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy

"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."

REDDIT

"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."

Gecko-911

I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.

This tale is haunting.

High/Low

Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace Giphy

"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."

LeastFormal9366

"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."

IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI

The Cursed

"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."

"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."

SmoreOfBabylon

Stay In

"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."

"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."

worldbound0514

Dreams and Facts

"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."

"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."

mattshonestreddit

"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."

Darthdemented

Cracked

Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office Giphy

"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."

Choice-Grapefruit-44

"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."

MacyTmcterry

I love my knuckles.

Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.

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Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?