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People Break Down The Smoothest Thing They've Ever Said To Someone

Knowable

Social exchanges happen fast. And at times, they become juicy or a little dramatic all of a sudden.

Whether you're speaking with a friend, chatting with an acquaintance at a party, or interacting with a stranger in the course of your day, a mundane back and forth can turn into a loaded conversation pretty quick.

There might be a confrontational moment, a little flirtation, or an embarrassing act. And usually, the moment occurs so fast that it's over by the time you've wrapped our head around what just happened.


Until later, of course--often in the shower--you replay the entire thing. You devise the perfect come back, the ideal line and inflection to navigate the moment that, unfortunately, you'll never get to do over. There, alone, you feel powerfully equipped to handle the awkwardness.

And then the next day you let another moment wiz by and do it all over again.

But once in awhile, maybe once in a lifetime, you rise to the occasion right there in the moment. You say the perfect thing in the perfect way at the perfect time. It's rare, but wonderful.

Some Redditors gathered to share their greatest triumphs in that regard.

TNT12DaBomb asked, "What's the smoothest thing you've said to someone?"

And He Sauntered Out the Door

"First time buying condoms for myself right out of high school. I went into the CVS and put the condoms and only the condoms on the counter."

"Clerk asks, 'Bag it?' I respond, 'That's the idea.' He and I share a small laugh and i never see or talk to him again."

"It's truly the little moments that count."

-- monty_kurns

Ahead of His Time

"I was at church and this older 19 yo beautiful girl started talking to me. She asked if I had someone I liked. I said yes and she said is she older or younger? I said I don't know, how old are you."

"Parents on both sides didn't like the age gap, so it didn't work out, but being as introverted as I am, I was completely impressed with how smooth that was."

-- sundervilz1980

The Literal Approach

"I once walked into a haircut place without an appointment."

"As I'm walking in, the lady grabs her pen, looks at the appointment book and says, 'and you are?'"

"And I reply, 'unexpected.'"

-- CranialThunder

Nice Recovery

"Back in college, a classmate visited my dorm room. I had a crush on her so I was trying not to be awkward. I immediately failed at not being awkward when I sat down and a bunch of loose change fell out of my pocket."

"I immediately remarked 'Sorry, someone pushed my coin return button.' She laughed so hard she nearly peed herself. We then dated for four years."

-- Daydream_Behemoth

Lean Into the Moment

"Was a server at olive garden and accidentally dropped all my cash in front of my table. After picking it up I casually said 'sorry just lowkey flexing.'"

"Thankfully they thought I was hilarious and the whole thing was a very positive experience."

-- TooMuchPnw

Accidentally Suave

"I met a girl that was in town visiting a mutual friend. We were at a bar and she said she was going back to her friend's house. So I offered to walk with her back. But without thinking I was walking back to my place. She said 'this isn't the way to Charlotte's house...'"

"For some reason the only thing I could think to say was 'this way is more fun.'"

"She just shrugged like 'ok' and carried on with me to my place."

-- 27SwingAndADrive

"I used to work in a call center, and one caller advised me to, 'go f*** myself,' after I asked how I could help him that day. My response: 'happily sir, but I have to wait until my break. In the mean time, how can I help you?'"

"Fair to mention: I'm a guy who apparently sounds like Nicholas Cage over the phone so… dude probably wasn't having sexy thoughts"

-- splootingjackal

Superhuman Smoothness

"On a first date with someone, we chilling at a restaurant and after some small talk she asked how cool I was. By sheer coincidence just then a waiter passed by and stumbled over and dropped a plate of food and drink."

"In one swift motion I caught the plate and the drink (without spilling anything) and placed it back on the waiters tray."

"Now the coolest part here is how I managed not to freak out at the fact that I had just become Spider Man for a brief moment. It took me a moment, but I gathered my cool, calmed myself down, looked back at her, and simply responded with 'That was just a demo.'"

-- Abrupti0n

The Terse Dealer Archetype

"Not super smooth but I was playing Texas Holdem and Friend 1 said that I dealt everyone's first card in the wrong order (even though I dealt them correctly)."

"Friend 2 says 'well I already looked at this one.' Then I dealt everyone their second card and said 'Congrats, you can look at this one, too.'"

-- PancakeMan137

That Fateful Night at the Skate Park

"peaked in middle school. was at the skate park after dark with my pal with the primary goal of seeing his girlfriend."

"Him and his girlfriend were making out with some goodnight kisses as we were about to leave. on the other side of his girl was his girl's girlfriend."

"she whined 'where's my goodnight kiss?'"

"'right over here'"

"we missed. that was also my first kiss and the most smooth i've ever been. ashamed by the first attempt I declined when she asked if I wanted to try again. lol."

-- Sliced-Bread

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ilovetattoos / Pixabay

Tattoos are an incredibly personal and variable thing. Some folks think they should only be reserved for important things. Others are fine with tattoos being something as unimportant and silly a dancing hot dog if it makes a person happy.

Some tattoos though ... yeah.

One Reddit user asked: Tattoo artists of reddit, what's the "Are you f*cking sure about getting this one?" moment you had with a client?

and yeah ... some tattoos... 0.o

Yeah, I just hit you with a text-moji like it's 2004. Nothing else could adequately describe the face you're about to make while reading this.


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