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Single People Share The Biggest Dating Struggles They Face

Single People Share The Biggest Dating Struggles They Face

Dating is hard.

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Dating in the 21st century is harder. Dating has become some sort of elevated idea of a rung on a ladder that pushes us toward our perfect fairy tale future. Of course, though, that's just not a realistic way to live our lives, and people are so quick to abandon ship with so many options available. And therefore, we have the struggle.

u/ColaMySoda wanted to hear from the pack:

Singles of Reddit, what's your biggest dating struggle right now?

Here are some of the individual struggles.

The Shallow End

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Online dating. On the surface it seems great in that you can meet people online without having to physically see each other to make contact. The trade off is the utter mountain of nonsense and completely shallow profiles.

A Life Ahead

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Getting to my late 20s, I don't want to date anyone I don't see a serious future with. Makes it way too easy to pick holes in people, probably quite unfairly.

Value

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Constantly feeling like just a party trick. I can hold a conversation and crack a witty joke or reply, but most of the time I'm silent. I feel as though if I started dating someone, when they get to know the real me they'll find an empty void. I fear overstaying my welcome in someone's life and being revealed for the true bland person I am.

Complacent

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I'm maybe a bit too comfortable being single. I got a good thing going right now. I operate on my schedule, I do what I want when I want, and I'm able to be totally self absorbed.

Its nice - so I don't put much effort (or any at all) into dating because I'm happy right now.

'The Boat'

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In my early 20s I was fat and ugly. Now I'm almost 30 and just ugly and feel like I missed the boat.

Comfort Zone

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I have no idea how to flirt or read whether women are/aren't trying to flirt with me, so I always just err on the side of caution and assume they aren't. I see it happen to others, I understand what things are done, but I just don't know how to apply it to myself.

IIIIIIIII Don't Care

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Giving a sh-t. It's easier to just come home and Netflix the evening away.

Getting Past Step One

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Almost every girl I meet has a boyfriend or husband.

Many people I meet can't answer their phone or respond to a text.

Many people cancel plans or don't even show up.

The ones that finally get past this initial stage are often busy so I can rarely see them.

Setup For Failure

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I'm attracted to instability.

If You Cain't Love Yoself

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I don't think I'm a good enough person right now to be in a healthy relationship. I'm broke, mentally ill, out of shape, and very insecure. I need to get my sh-t together before I can feel comfortable asking someone to share their life with me

Trapped In My Circle

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I don't put myself in scenarios to meet other people. I go to work (small company), go home. the only time i actually come into contact with someone new is at a store or restaurant, but that seems very inappropriate to hit on someone who HAS to be there. I can't keep a conversation going with someone on tinder (either they have one word responses and it's clear they don't want to continue or I can't think of anything to say) and anyone worth dating from high-school who is single I've already asked out and been rejected ):

Truly Not Loving Yourself

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I'm too indifferent... I just seem like a brick wall with no emotions from the outside, I dont often share any of my interests, which makes it hard for anyone to hold a conversation with me without akward silences. In a conversation, I'm way too dominating, but in person I'm extremely timid and scared of making people feel uncomfortable. Besides this, the only girls I come in contact with are my classmates and one female friend of mine. I don't ever go outside because of school, and thus don't meet new people. Also my voice is extremely annoying, I sound like I always have a bubble in my throat... I think that's about all..

The Spirit World

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The ghosting culture. The fact that we have a date set up and they just stop talking to you. Or when you've actually had a date or two and they just stop talking to you.

It's really annoying and immature, if you're not interested just tell me I'm a big boy I can take it.

It's just the culture of online dating, I can't stand online dating.

Overanalysis

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I overthink, which leads to overreacting or too much damage control, and thus causes them to think I'm insane, so they lose interest, and then the depression kicks in.

Long story short, I need to f-cking chill.

Standing Out

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Feeling like I have to entertain women on Tinder in order to stand out. I get that "Hi there. How are you?" is boring, particularly when 500 other men are in your inbox with that same opening line, but having to come up with a zinger, pun or memorable pickup line for every new woman I match with is tiring. I want to connect with someone, not dance like a trained monkey for them.

It isn't women's fault. There are just too many potential matches for them to wade through, but it is exhausting for a guy to have to constantly fight to be noticed among the horde of mindless, horny dudes.

The Ship Is Barren

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Finding men to date. I mean I live in a rural area. Single men of my taste are rare.

I'm Happy

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I just want to remain single and enjoy my life but society things that's weird, so friends and family keep trying to coerce me into a relationship. That and too many men want kids and I want no parts in that.

Shyness

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That I quite frankly don't know how to date. (almost 24 and only had 1 bf ever, who I recently broke up with)

I know I need to get out more often (I mean, I keep myself busy outside the house, but I don't meet new people) But it's difficult when you're shy

Slim Pickinz

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Being a lesbian in a town where there's like, five other gay girls, and two are exes and three are my friends.

I'd Call Them Struggles

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I don't know that you'd call them struggles, but I have a couple things that slow the process.

  1. I have an incredibly hard time reading interest. Multiple times, my female coworkers have looked at me incredulously because a pretty girl was flirting with me (according to them) and I didn't try anything back. I just immediately think "Oh she's being nice. That's a nice person" because I'm not going to be the creepy guy that hits on nice happy people that ruins their day.
  2. I have a type, and it's slim pickings where I live.
  3. I have a simple routine: I get to work at 6 am, I get to the gym at 2:30 pm, I get home at 4:30-5 pm. None of these things yield any chances to meet or talk to women I'm interested in, and I don't know where to go or what to do to meet the girls I'm interested in, and I wouldn't have the social skills if I did.

Call Me Maybe

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Online dating sucks for a billion reasons. I find myself getting inordinately frustrated with some common patterns that I see on profiles, like someone's primary picture having a Snapchat filter, or having multiple people in every photo. There're the profiles that have nothing but "Just ask!" below them, the obvious bot models with a "Call Me" number along their profile picture. The people whose entire profiles read like they have an ax to grind, rather than saying anything remotely interesting about themselves. And so, so much more...

The whole experience is truly soul-crushing.

It's Unclear

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Lack of interest really.

I never had a problem getting dates in my 20s, but I never found someone I could quite trust enough to make a life long commitment. I have gotten close a few times but breaches of trust always happened first. That and everyone seems... uncomfortable, almost afraid... these days. Its hard to get to know people when they keep themselves so shielded.

I had just entered my 30s and its getting late in the game for me. As I get older it feels like its getting increasingly more casual. That and I feel like I am to down the life progress to keep dating women in their early/mid 20s. It is starting to feel like a power issue when you have a well paid career, a, sizable home, nice car, pay for most everything, and you are seeing someone that is still going to school or freshly graduated, working those jobs looking for that break, and are a decade or so away of being able to independently live the life style you offer. Not that its a huge deal breaker, but it makes it hard to tell how much of a woman's interest is my actual person and not what I have to offer financially. Especially when it feels like they will never tell you no because they feel like they owe it to you, when you want them to be able to.

However, in my age category its usually divorced moms everywhere, not that there is anything wrong with that, but it comes with the same issues on top of that I am not looking to take care of someone else's child. It is like I missed the train to figure that out when I was just broke and all I had to offer was out going attitude and a dirty since of humor.

Or maybe I am just a snob with trust issues and should just get over it. I haven't figured it out yet.

Ghosting, Again

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I meet a girl, really like her, go out on a date and have an amazing time.

I want to see her again soon, so I'll text her and wait about a week before asking her out again. Sounds normal right?

But after the first date, even after having a blast, I get nothing, very little communication, and a total about face.

Weeks go by, and I'd have given up. Not without feeling like the most worthless human being on the planet.

Needed to get that out.

Brands That Abandoned Their Core Audience And Paid Dearly For It

Reddit user Fflewddur_Fflam_ asked: 'Who abandoned their core audience and paid the price for it?'

As the saying goes, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."

Nonetheless, several brands and businesses will sometimes make noticeable changes, be it to reach a wider audience, or simply to shake things up a bit.

In some cases, the effort pays off, like Dunkin' Donuts, who decided to stretch beyond simply selling doughnuts and coffee, eventually even dropping the "Donuts" from their name, but losing none of their popularity.

Other times, things don't go as smoothly, such as when IHOP (an acronym for the International House of Pancakes) temporarily changed its name to IHOB (International House of Burgers), which turned out to be nothing but a weeklong publicity stunt, but was met with anger and vitriol from it's fanbase during that controversial week.

Redditor Fflewddur_Fflam_ was curious to hear what other brands the Reddit community thought betrayed their core audience to disastrous results, leading them to ask:

"Who abandoned their core audience and paid the price for it?"

Humans Are Technically Animals...

"Animal Planet."

"Their tagline became 'surprisingly human.'"

"Nobody wants to watch ANIMAL Planet for people."

"They have other channels."- rainbirdmelody

You Could Say Their Mission Slipped Through The "Cracks"...

"Cracked.com."

"There were a couple years there where they transformed from a second rate Mad knockoff to some of the smartest, funniest stuff on the internet."

"Then the people who held the purse strings decided listicles and photoshop contests were more profitable than a writing staff."- MichaelMyersResple

"StumbleUpon."

"It was a small website giving you randomized internet pages which I used to browse for hours as they were so fun."

"Now it turned into Mix and I have no clue what it is."

"Pretty sure no one uses it and it makes me sad."- MightyDaisy

Working On It GIF by KAT BALLGiphy

Less Handcrafted, More Hand-Me-Down

"Etsy."

'Used to be a fairly cool place to buy and sell mostly handcrafted stuff and items to make handcrafted stuff."

"Now it's basically shady Amazon with worse shipping."

"Everyone seems to be drop shippers and a lot of the more niche crafter/artisan things are pushed out and overwhelmed by cheaper, mass produced goods."- THIS_IS_MY_JOYSTICK

The Dreaded Paywall...

"Photobucket!"

"Back when forums were still a thing, Photobucket would host your images for free."

"Then one day they decided EVERYONE would have to pay monthly, no free tier, nothing."

"We all collectively agreed we would not be paying, and that was that."

"I feel like it may have contributed to the death of forums."

"Ruined a few of my car build threads, that's for sure."

"To this day they still send me emails a couple times a year threatening to delete all my photos if I don't come back."-pr0b0ner

Arguably, All For The Best?...

"Yik Yak."

"It was a way to have conversations with people in the area anonymously (really popular on college campuses)."

"They made an update to create user profiles and pretty much everyone just stopped using it because anonymity was the whole point."- Fakjbf

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Chocolate Lovers Revolt!

"This is incredibly niche, but in Norway there used to be two providers of chocolate powder, the kind you mix with hot or cold milk to make hot chocolate or chocolate milk."

"They were O'Boy brand and Nesquik, equally loved and enjoyed a healthy fanbase 'rivalry'."

"O'Boy is a Swedish product sold in Scandinavia and the Baltics since the 50s, Nesquik is of course Nestlé brand and sold all over the world."

"Sometime in the 2010s Nesquik decided to change the formula of the choco powder."

"I imagine to save money."

"And for making hot chocolate the new recipe was fine."

"What Nestlé underestimated, however, is that most Scandinavians drink their choco powder cold to make chocolate milk."

"The new recipe had a different type of sugar in it that wouldn't dissolve in cold milk, leaving a crunchy powder in the milk."

"Norwegians outraged, Nesquik was deemed useless, nearly everyone in the Nesquik camp migrated to O'Boy, and Nestlé lost almost all its market share overnight."

"A few months later, Nesquik is gone from the shelves nearly everywhere, never to recover from the blunder."- -Yngin-

Tornados Filled With Sharks Are Not For Everyone...

"Sci-Fi Channel."

"At some point there was no sci-fi on it."- AlienBeingMe

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Not Everyone Can Keep Up With The Times...

"RadioShack."

"They went from selling electronic components, little gadgets, and interesting tech bobbles to nerds to trying to sell expensive cell phone plans and sh*tty batteries to a different audience."

"We saw that the customers who came to RadioShack shifted from middle/upper-income engineers and tech geeks to lower income people in a six year period."

"Then we saw the geeks stop coming in at all because they would come in for some capacitor or breadboard, and the person there wouldn't know what that was."

"If it wasn't a phone, they didn't know."

"Even if it was a phone, they probably couldn't tell you anything about it."

"Old RadioShack employees were knowledgeable and well paid."

"New RadioShack employees didn't give a sh*t about technology."- 001235

Seems FittingThat Their Old Audience Is "History"...

"Anyone else remember when The History Channel was about history and not about aliens?"- rienjabura

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There's A Reason They're Not So Well Known For Their Food...

"Every restaurant that opens in the UK goes through the cycle:"

"New and interesting food."

"Very different from most British food."

"Becomes very popular."

"Owners sell to a large company."

"Large company decides that being popular isn't enough, they want everybody to eat there."

"Make the food more British."

"Looming failure is hidden for a while because they attract new customers at exactly the rate they lose old customers."

"New customers have tried it, realize they can get that food anywhere, stop going."

"Chain closes and is replaced by a Greggs or Nandos, depending on the size of the location (not dependent on how far away the nearest Greggs or Nandos is."- skztr

Money Doesn't Solve Everything

"Quora."

"There were excellent groups with intelligent discussions."

"Then it became monetized and people submitted 100s of questions a day."

"'What time does the Walmart close in Boise?'" "

"'My 16 yr old came home with an A- so I took away their phone for 6 months'."- JanuarySoCold

Bored Sales GIF by EGiphy

Success can be a very dangerous thing.

As it can make you think about nothing but getting bigger, often resulting in your leaving people behind along the way.

A cautionary tale for young entrepreneurs.


What makes someone a 10?

It ain't all about looks, baby.

Looks are fine.

But charisma is everything.

There are a ton of ingredients that make up attractive, though.

That's why it's good to know your strengths.

Redditor Overall_Wish_912 wanted to hear about how hot everybody thinks they are and why, so they asked:

"What is the most attractive thing about you?"

I think my eyes sell the whole package.

Light blue with a slight dusting of gold.

Connections

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"More than a few radiologists over the years have told me I have nice connective tissues, ligaments in particular. Makes a fella kinda proud."

Southern_Snowshoe

Lashed

"I have exceptionally long and beautiful eyelashes. I’m working on my flutter. I’m also a guy."

bleepbloopmunchmunch

"I get complimented on my eyelashes too as a guy! Women often tell me they’re jealous. I never had a clue that was something women noticed until I reached college/university."

EasterButterfly

"I started getting compliments in high school. I remember freshman year, I was sitting at a round table and this really cute girl at the table just randomly asked me to close my eyes. I thought it was weird, but I did. Then she told her equally cute friend to look at my eyelashes, that they were so long and pretty like a girl's. At the time I wasn't sure if they were being nice or making fun of me (since they compared them to girl's lashes). I now get the compliment, though, and appreciate it."

DesertRat012

Beauty

"I'm not totally hideous, but easily the most attractive thing about me is my kindness. I hear all the time that people are just magically drawn to me/feel comfortable with me/like being around me. I'm charming, I guess."

StrangersWithAndi

"That’s such a good quality."

Overall_Wish_912

Look Up

"I'm 6'2 and the internet tells me that's like the most incredible and attractive thing ever apparently."

ConflictFast8743

"I’m 6’6 and wish I was shorter. My long-term girlfriend tells me I get checked out all the time but I literally never notice, I’d give up all the attention if it meant I’d never hit my head on a doorframe again."

CaptainLongshorts

"I'm only 6', but a woman and I have a 36' inseam. I love having long legs, they walk so fast and are my favorite physical feature!"

abqkat

Light as a Feather

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"My therapist said I’m a good egg, so there’s that."

CheddarBurgers

"Mine told me she never feels heavy when I leave her office. We’ve talked about some heavy sh*t so I took it as a compliment."

random_username3184

Not being the scariest and worst patient is definitely a gold star moment for the mind.

Perfect

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"I’ve been told I have the most perfectly shaped head for a bald man."

KilnMeSmallz

"My dermatologist recently told me I had a great shaped head if I were to ever shave my hair off. It really got me thinking."

Weeziir

For the Boys

"The only attractive thing about me is my hair. Even that is debatable since most women don't like men with long hair."

SlayzorHunter

"Haha for me it’s my bald head! I look a million times better without hair than with it even when my hairline wasn’t balding that bad. I think the pics of me at 28-30 I look better than my 18-25 pics."

OkSwitch470

"Some men just have the cranial and facial structures that make them look better with bald head. I shave my head every 3 years, so I know how I look with every single hair length there is. It only starts looking decent after at least 9 months of growth."

SlayzorHunter

Share With Me

"I'm very nonjudgemental; it's amazing the things people will share with me!"

PeterGivenbless

"Same. I've had people share some pretty personal things with me soon after meeting them."

Krissyfox_7

"Yup, same. I have 'tell me all your secrets' stamped on my forehead. I do like it, though. Nice to get to know who people actually are and what they’ve been through, as opposed to the robotic small talk. Makes me happy that people see me as a 'safe' person."

East_Satisfaction242

Streaks

"I have bright blue eyes that get me plenty of compliments. The only other thing that gets close is my beard, and now especially the silver streaks lacing it."

fuqaduck

"The Silver helps. I was accused of dying it to look more dignified by a coworker, which was puzzling. Not quite a compliment, but compliment adjacent I guess."

604Ataraxia

The Nuzzle

"My long nose, it’s perfect for nuzzling the bean while dining out 🤤."

sussyboingus

"I had an out-of-the-blue compliment about my nose. A woman approached me and said I had an envied Roman nose. Noticing my confusion, she explained she was an art historian, and my nose was in the mold of Roman marble statutes. I've never heard another compliment about my nose, so who knows."

TWH_PDX

The Body

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"I’m short but I have a very nice figure. I get complimented for my butt a lot. I’m 5’2." I like attention so I don’t mind the compliments for the most part. I don’t get bothered by that as easily as some people do. But I have no respect for men that complement my body when they’re in relationships."

DrWiskers

Well, there are a lot of definitions for attractive.

Thank goodness.

a man and a woman walking in the desert

NEOM on Unsplash

When you're in a relationship, the things your significant other—or sig-O—does hit different.

Teasing remarks you'd laugh off from friends can feel like a knife in the heart when your romantic partner says it.

Minor slights can easily become major issues in your relationship if you feel vulnerable.

Keep reading...Show less

There's this ongoing, universal joke that no one reads user's manuals for new items, so often items aren't built or used quite the way they were intended.

But some products, whether there's a user's manual involved or not, will be used for activities that they were in no way designed for.

Redditor OfficialDampSquid asked:

"What product is rarely used for its intended purpose?"

Clothespins

"Clothespins have spent years keeping bags of chips closed in my house, not a minute hanging up clothes."

- jpiro

"Great in the shop as mini clamps, specifically when gluing the linings to acoustic guitars."

- Fluffy-Anything-5528

Free Parking Corner

"The corner that says FREE PARKING on the Monopoly board."

- DanielleAntenucci

"I don’t know one single person who plays that game correctly. It’s insane how house rules caught on and became almost universal."

- Dr_broadnoodle

Cotton Swaps

"I’ll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I use a Q-Tip correctly."

- PM_DEGRADING

"95 percent for cleaning electronics. Five percent for cleaning your ears."

- Fried-Pig-Dogs

Bubble Wrap

"Bubble wrap. It was invented as a wallpaper in the 1950s."

- fuzzysarge

"Just mist down your windows with plain water and the bubble wrap just sticks by itself."

"I didn't know this trick when I had to make a bathroom more private. As a stopgap, I just sprayed the windows with fake Christmas snow."

- RedditZamak

For Surgical Purposes

"K-Y Jelly was originally developed as a surgical lubricant."

- JiveChicken00

Fixes Everything

"Duct tape. Works on everything but ducts. (They make a special tape for that, and it’s not called duct tape.)"

- ImpliedSlashS

From War to Screen Doors

"WD-40 was originally created to stop nuclear missiles from rusting."

- ShoopufJockey

Great for Kids Crafts

"I want to say pool noodles. I see a new craft for them weekly and rarely see them actually in a pool."

- gigieileen

Baking Powder Uses

"Not 'rarely used' per se, but the amount of baking powder not used for baking things is quite high."

- DayOk6350

"You can use it to instantly set super glue and create a stronger bond that is as hard as plastic and nowhere near as brittle as a regular superglue bonding."

- Happy-Personality-23

The Question Is In the Name

"Glove compartment in a car. Who actually has gloves in them? I think they are a throwback to when people had driving gloves."

- Urbanredneck2

Yardstick Purpose

"Yardsticks."

- procrastinatorsuprem

"When I was in school, all the teacher ever used it for was to smack the chalkboard to get everybody's attention when the class was acting up."

- Rich_handsome

"We use it to push the button on the smoke alarm, get spider webs on the ceiling, and every once in a while measure how deep a snow storm is."

- procrastinatorsuprem

Treadmill... Closets

"Treadmills at home."

"Or any exercising equipment at home... ends up being a clothes holder."

- shubidoobie

Mouths Instead

"Listerine was originally sold as a floor cleaner."

- mtgkajhit

"Listerine was one of those products which was marketed to do literally anything to do with clearing."

"It was also used as a medical antiseptic during surgery."

- Woffingshire

Great for Crafts

"Pipe cleaners."

"Does that count if they’re called “chenille stems”, brightly colored, and for sale alongside kids’ craft supplies?"

"Because if that does count, so should Play-Doh. It was originally invented to clean wallpaper, but once kids started playing with it (it had been nontoxic from the beginning IIRC) they changed the marketing and sold it in lots of colors."

- DBSeamZ

Cell Phones

"Mobile phones, used for anything, except for making phone calls."

- FatCat_85

"Mobile phones are used for their intended purposes, but that purpose has just changed over time."

- Reddit

These products are all a great example of how products can have multiple purposes, which technically means we can have fewer items in our homes, which means fewer things to clean!

And if cleaning the floor is a concern, apparently we can use the Listerine... while brushing our teeth. Who knew?