In this day and age we should just always assume we're on camera. Being camera ready is just a given when leaving the house. We seem to not acknowledge that there are people on the other side of the camera. There are people watching us and judging or just flat out laughing. Security people know far too many secrets and we need to treat the accordingly.
A Redditor wanted to discuss all the things witnessed by security when we all think we're not being watched by asking...Security guards that view cameras, what's the weirdest thing you've seen?
The Break room.
Not weird, but funny. We had a spate of purses having items stolen, usually when they were in the break room. So, we set a camera in the break room and waited. We caught an employee red handed waiting until one of the ladies weren't watching, reach into their purse and grab their wallet.
Then we got security to confront her. What followed was an epic shouting match as the suspect tried to deny that it was her on the camera and that we'd planted evidence. Yes, the IT guys have time in their busy schedule to make fake videos apparently. She was still screaming innocence when the cops carted her off.
Anyway, the crime spree did mysteriously end when she was fired. So, my guess is she was guilty. The camera also was useful in determining who on the night crew was watching porn on the break room kiosk machine, so that was fun also. They weren't fired, we just added a content filter and said maybe do that kind of stuff on your personal device when you get home. zerbey
Dirty Birds.
Giphy
Not on camera but I've seen two birds doing it in the middle of the street.
On camera I saw a skunk go sailing past one of my cameras one night. No explanation for how it was propelled. flamedarkfire
Register on Fire....
I used to provide support for (insert big corporation)'s camera system. I've seen many things through my job.
- Register on fire
- Car being run through the front of the store
- Thief coming into the cash office and stealing many thousands of dollars at gun point while someone was counting the money (this one was hard to watch)
- Car crash that ended up with one of the cars flipping
- A group of people backing a truck through the front doors to steal the ATM cbosch12
The Display Window.
Not a security guard but handle the security systems at our animal control kennel. These events happened all in the same week: 1 lady came up to the kennel doors ~20:00 banging on the door laughing
Next night guy pulls gun out and stares down it before putting it back in his pants and walks into the bar next door
Same guy pistol whips gf the next night.
About 2:00 (same night as pistol whip) 3 random guys stand on our porch drunkenly playing with the kittens in our display window. One proceeds to tongue kiss the window.
Plus more but not in the same week as all that stuff. behannrp
No Thanks....
Giphy
My mom is a dispatcher and they have TVs for the cameras in the jail cells. One girl was touching herself and threatened to poop all over the place. This is why I would never work in a jail. BinkBonkers
Going Up.
Everybody lets their guard down in the elevator, especially if there's a mirror. I've seen people dancing, doing their hair/makeup, picking their nose, couples getting handsy, couples fighting, etc. Every now and then someone will remember the camera is there and just stare at me intensely until they get off. dr_ralph_daggers
They got fired.
Not a security guard, but once at a call center when I was working there, a guy and girl went one at a time into the handicap restroom. Security caught it on the cctv and when the guy came out after 30 minutes (they clocked out for lunch) a guard was waiting for them, together with one of the operations managers, their team lead, and a rep from hr.
They got fired.
"scary security stories"
I have been in security for over a year, and finally, someone asks a question about it on AskReddit. (I actually signed up after reading the old "scary security stories" Ask threads. And yes, I know about r/talesfromsecurity. Meh.)
The disappearing people are the weirdest. My facility has 100% exterior camera coverage, and i've got several I can move around as needed.
I will see someone I don't recognize walking in one zone, and then completely disappear when they should have entered the next zone over. I'll rewatch the footage several times at different angles and rule out the possibility they went inside or got in a car.
It's really an oddity. AFAIK, nobody has died here, though there have been deaths at some of the other plants we cover. (P1 is haunted at hell.) spiderlanewales
Riding High....
Giphy
I watched my schools security footage and saw our 60 something year old janitor try and fail to ride the back of his mop bucket down the hall. CookieOfTheNorth
swiping in drunk....
Not a security guard, but I got in trouble when I lived in the dorms in college for swiping in drunk. I didn't remember it and was super confused about how I had gotten inside, and still got caught at the same time. When I had to meet with the dorm advisors for my meeting to discuss getting punished, they showed me the video.
I guess I swiped in well enough, before throwing up on the DA's desk, then walking into the elevator like nothing had happened, while the chick at the desk just sat their, jaw dropped, horrified at my cavalier attitude. Apparently she was too stunned to stop me and at that point they had to wait until the next day since I was already in my room. It was pretty awkward seeing her the next time I swiped in while she was working. I'd imagine security who saw the tape thought it was hilarious. firstheir
Dance....
Giphy
Honestly at this point I am unfazed by the spontaneous dancing and singing. Especially when you've been through stuff like Gangnam Style where every dad tries the moves when he thinks he's alone.
The thing that stays with me is some guy picking up a dead hedgehog from the parking lot, stuffing it in his coat and having a dead bird fall out. Crazy stuff. Reddit
I see the problem.
Was working in a manufacturing facility that did injection molded plastic. One night about 2am one of the machines came on and started running all by itself. I could see it running on two of the cameras. Went to investigate and shut it off. Back to my desk.
Two hours later i see it come on again. Shut it off again. Turned the controllable camera towards it and zoomed in to watch.
About an hour later, just before staff usually starts coming in, i see the problem. There was a rat that was furiously clawing and gnawing at the panel. He managed to bump his butt into the start switch and kick it on.
They weren't allowed to leave the machines "ready to go in the morning" anymore. Shadowhenge
"looks like blue won this time."
I was filling out some forms in the security office with the two guards on duty. It was long after hours and very dark out. Heard a "What the F**k?" from a guard and looked up.
A whole bunch of college students, dressed in next to nothing, were whaling on each other with pool noodles.
The fight passed in front of the main doors, into the parking lot, and, finally, one group routed the others out of the area. Guards just sighed and went back to filling out forms. One commented offhand "looks like blue won this time." CynicalAltruist
About an hour later.....
My wife and her co-workers scheduled some fun "olympics" events for their team. One of them was "synchronized office chair swimming," where they choreographed routines of riding around in spinning office chairs.
About an hour later, her friend is chatting it up with security and they are laughing their asses off. They call her over where they are watching the security camera video of synchronized office chair swimming hilariously trying to figure out what these people could possibly be doing. Billionairez
Snog away....
Giphy
Once had a teenage couple snogging (making out) against the back door where I work, unaware I could see them. Managed to get their attention and they "moved" away but only by a couple of feet. I switched to the back door camera and in my innocence I originally thought the girl was bending down to do up her shoelace...... nope!
Managed to call for the manager over the PA system who came running because I sounded like I was crying (I was crying but with laughter). The look of horror on this poor lads face as the door opened and they were caught will stay with me forever!! The manager and I nearly had heart attacks we laughed that hard. Genuinely the funniest thing we had ever seen! MavisMuriel
The Breach....
I've shared this story before, but my first job out of college I used to work as a electrical engineer for a major security firm (worldwide global, with a lousy reputation), the job was designing cameras, junction boxes, security systems power calculations, etc.
One of my first assignments there was to help write a report about a security breach at a nuclear storage/research facility that was using a security system our company had implemented for them.
To summarize the breach, a group of octogenarian nuns broke into a secure nuclear facility and started painting the storage buildings in their own blood, and we had to review the footage to find out how they breached our security system. The footage was as gnarly as it sounds.
How did they break in? It turns out the site had spent millions on hiring us to design, test, integrate, and train them on a state-of-the-art security system of cameras, motion sensors, microwave detection systems, and fiber optic fence lining, only for them to turn most of it off to save on power/nuisance alarm costs. GlastonBerry48
She scurried away quickly after that.....
Obligatory not a security guard, but one time I was interviewing for a position at a restaurant. They brought me back into the office to get some paperwork done and you could see a feed of the camera at the back entrance of the store. We were just sitting there chatting while I'm filling out forms when suddenly a girl appears on camera.
She then looks around, drops her pants, and pees next to the dumpster. After she was done she looked around again, and then up, and then spotted the camera. She scurried away quickly after that. DwightCharlieQuint
WITH HIS TEETH!!!!!
Back when I was a security guard during my second semester of college I was checking the cctv cameras and this guy was juggling beer bottles the center was close so no one was supposed to be there. I grabbed my walkie and went to check him out when I got to him.
This man was drunk like hell and he was just juggling the bottles I asked him what he was doing and he said "hang one sec" threw all three bottles up and caught two in each hand then proceeded to catch the third one WITH HIS TEETH this guy was hammered and I was shocked and impressed I let him pass out in the break room because he didn't have a phone or wallet on him. And by morning he said thanks and left I wish I had the video to link. MisterMonarch
I hate him!
Not a security guard, but I kept finding my workstation tampered with when I came in for work (cables unplugged, etc.). I suspected my sociopath supervisor. He didn't realize I knew how to work the security system. What followed was a very amusing video clip of him waiting until everyone else was out of the room, furtively looking around, then reaching back and unplugging the cable on my system.
I set a still from that as the background on our videoconferencing machine on the day I quit. That fool was the reason I had my workstation fully Bitlocker encrypted and equipped with redundant hard drives. WardenWolf
Love.
Giphy
Not a guard, but have cameras at my house, saw a opossum and a mole getting it on. MrMokele
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
Giphy
Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
Giphy
See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
Giphy
Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
Giphy
Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
Giphy
The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.