Window washers have quite an interesting job. For many of their assignments their lives are consistently in danger. The heights they often have to reach are death defying. So there never seems to be a dull moment, because aside from cheating death, they witness things that would astound the average person. They have glimpses into the lives of strangers that sometimes make them wish they were blind. I hope they all keep journals because witnessing crazy can be priceless.
Redditor u/marky_sparky24 wanted all the window cleaners out there to share a tale or three by inquiring..... Window cleaners of Reddit, what is the weirdest thing you have seen while cleaning windows?On the PC.
One of the window cleaners at my workplace is a good friend of mine and he said that he saw our manager receiving oral sex from his assistant under his table while he was working on the PC. DueTry9
All the gigs...
The weirdest thing I've seen while cleaning Windows?
50 gigabytes of temporary files and misc. downloads.
It was actually just a bunch of installers, misc. documents, files in the "AppData\Local\Temp" directory, backups of old programs, and the sort.
Ain't nobody cleaning out their wank bank. zenyl
Spotted Alone....
Not a window cleaner, but I've been spotted by one.
Sat on my day off in my birthday suit having time with myself, smoking a joint and didn't hear our back gate go. He comes in as usual and starts to climb. I had the porn on at a high volume cause I was home alone. See his head poke up above the top of the net curtains and his eyes widen at me. I stared deadlocked with him for a second before lunging for a cushion to cover myself with. Most embarrassed I've ever been. I make sure my partner pays him each time he comes to the door now. And I'm more discreet. MickeySnacks
Life at McD's!
I used to be the janitor at a busy McDonalds next to a university campus a while back. Early in the morning I usually cleaned the windows outside before the drive through started to get too busy.
Usually saw some fairly strange people, but one that stuck out was a very unkempt and definitely hungover man foraging for cigarette butts in the trash, and on the pavement.
After he gathered a handful, he sat on the curb nearby, crushed the tiny bits of old stale tobacco out of the butts into a rolling paper, which he then licked, rolled, and then asked me if I had a light.
If I hadn't already quit smoking before then, that encounter would have made me do it. Vuldyn
Brian it's been so long.....
This is more on the sad side: We clean senior homes and in the dementia ward there was a woman that was asking me why they turned the volume down in the room because she couldn't hear me. She went on for awhile about that and how she disapproves of it. Eventually she started calling me Brian and said "Brian it's been so long since I've seen you, you never come visit." I've got to say that was both the weirdest and most saddening thing I have seen. jonahzapata
The Drama.
I don't know. Did some window washing during my college time back then and these are scheduled appointments - so there are really no surprises here and owners are usually prepared that we are there.
One time we did a rich guys house and it was just him and his girlfriend there. They got into a massive fight towards the end and she just walked out. Literally walked on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere and we picked here up on our way home. She was a sobbing mess, poor thing. theunrealabyss
The NoNO Place.
Former window cleaner of 5 years. The unusual things I have seen on the job usually took place in the downtown segment. Usually somebody irate or on drugs. On person in particular walking down the block with no pants on. They were over weight too so the tummy blocked their nono place. Other than that nothing to weird in my tenure. Dargonite913
"psst, hey, Is there a guy in there?"
I was the person inside. I lived in a third floor apartment with a roommate. I had a gentleman friend who I'd recently started seeing romantically come over late at night and he wound up spending the night for the first time. We woke up that morning to some people on a ladder cleaning the gutters or something. They awkwardly tried to avoid eye contact and I think we just ignored them and rolled over and went back to sleep. But when they moved past my window to my roommates room, she, being curious if my gentleman caller and I had hooked up, asked they guy, "psst, hey, Is there a guy in there?" And said that he shifted his eyes side to side and did a quick nod with a straight face and then got back to cleaning and got the heck out of there. The way she described it cracked me up. foxyrain
The Procedure.
Not a window cleaner, but my son was admitted to the hospital once. His room had a big window, and across from that window was another wing of the hospital. It was dusk, but there was a light on across the way so I looked. There was a medical team doing something to a woman. She was lying on her back, on a table, feet in stirrups, and knees spread. I could see "her" when the doctor (I'm assuming) moved from between her legs. He had a headlamp on, and there was one of those big surgical lights on over the table. The rest of the room was dark. After a moment or two of staring, one of the medical staff motioned, urgently, to the blinds, and they were then closed. I have no idea what happened after that. Clairenator
Itsy Bitsy Nothing...
The window cleaner commented on the huge spider on the inside of our office room window. He assumed it was caged in some way, but we explained how it's free, but stays on its web which spans the one meter width of the window recess.
Quite a few of us in the UK keep exotic spiders other than just tarantulas! Mine is a Nephila inaurata madagascariensis for anyone interested :)
Pics added by request of /u/86rpt
The larger spider (about 10 cm legspan) is mature, her tiny husband is just above her. Close-up of the egg sac she dropped a few nights ago, with distinctive yellow silk. El-rond
Subway Scenes...
I worked at subway a while back, and for some reason windows were just my duty, and I'm almost 100% certain I was the only one that ever actually cleaned them. Anyway...
Windows of our store over looked a busy intersection. Saw a dude speed through a red light while cars were still going through and miraculously there was no accident. A LOT of honking and people slamming their breaks, though. BeaDoodle
Peek A Boo Nasty...
This happened in Indonesia. I was staying at my mom's apartment and had a boy over. We were getting nasty and then window cleaner roll down on their lift thingy and saw us getting nasty. Worst part is I knew who they were because they happened to work around the apartment building. Imma_rage_quit_too
Still a Good Story.
Once I was visiting New York with a friend. His uncle, a musician on Broadway had an apartment in Astoria that we crashed at and, as a thanks, we got him a bottle of Lagavulin. He duly poured us glasses and we sat there across his single long couch facing the window, drinking until pretty quick we noticed across the street and the next apartment up there was a girl dancing around naked, probably doing some kind of movie with her boyfriend. This goes on for a very short time before they notice us and immediately the lights of the apartment go dark. Immediately and in unison, we all raised our glasses of scotch to the dark apartment. The end. He keeps his windows VERY clean. Volcan_R
"Maintenance!"
So, the company I work for is partnered with an apartment complex, where we clean all the windows in 2 buildings each month. We get there early in the morning to take all the screens out of the windows, and apparently the manager had forgotten to send out the emails telling people we'd be coming that day. I have a master key, so standard protocol is just to unlock the door and knock as I'm entering, then yell "maintenance!"
Well one apartment was particularly surprised at my entrance, and quickly spun around on his couch. He asked if I could just come back later and do his windows another day. I was confused, but realized why he was so started after I noticed the hoard of tissues, lotion and pillows on the coffee table in front of him. I don't think I ever actually went back to that apartment to do his windows. I wouldn't know what to say to him if I did. Cpt_Sideburns
Ka-Ching!
I was doing metal work at the top of a major building in Atl and we had to use the same window cleaning platforms. When coming down for lunch one day we saw a huge conference table covered with MILLIONS of dollars. sti-guy
Good Show.
Window cleaner here. I was up on a ladder doing an older single woman's house and happened to be at her bedroom window. She was in the process of getting out of the shower and was fully naked and bent over putting on her under wear and just happened to turn around to find me washing the window. (I may add this woman was in her early 50s and extremely good looking for a 50 something year old woman.) Anyways, she turns around and stood up.
She didn't freak out but closed her blinds and when I finished the job I knocked on the door to give her the bill and all she said to me was " I hope you enjoyed what you saw" with a little devious smile. To which I replied yes mam, thank you very much and took the check and went on my way. I do her house every six months now and we know each other on a first name basis lol. whydoweusethese
I was so mad.
Not really weird but was really gross.
I work with kids and part of my job is cleaning, including wiping off the windows. I have cleaned off so many boogers, a lot of snot, sometimes blood, and a shit ton of sweat stains. Sometimes theres an imprint of someone's lips on there.
For something weird though I was once cleaning the outside of a window when a kid comes up to the window on the inside and starts watching me. probably about 6 or 7. After about 2 minutes, he promptly places his mouth on the glass and licks the window up and down, side to side, basically everywhere. Then for good measure he wiped his hands on it.
I had just finished the inside window. I was so mad. Classic-Problem
It's a Bird...
I don't clean windows but I imagine it's stuff like this:
When birds fly into windows...
(EDIT below)
My dad used to work in a tall glass building in Central London, often he'd hear loud thumps around the building. Turned out they were birds doing kamikaze attacks. KingJimXI
Tapped and Ready....
When I was 19 I got a loosely supervised job for a local beer distributor cleaning the place. The first day my buddy and I started making our rounds: vacuuming, cleaning windows, that kind of crap. As we were making our way to the break room with the Kirby we realized on the other side of a massive conference room table there were about 8 kegs tapped and ready. Needless to say the place didn't get cleaned well enough for us to do it two nights in a row. saidin_handjob
Do you Mom.
I work on a small team of only women. We usually only have like 3 people in the office on the weekends and we are on the third floor. My colleague decided to pump breast milk in her cubicle and just told us not to come over until she gave the okay. Not unusual. Right as she started pumping completely uncovered, a random window cleaner descended from above and she let out a shriek. I don't think he even noticed right away, but then we watched him quickly try to scurry away from the window. He never came back to clean those windows, lol. vivid23
Dude!
20th floor Toronto, I ran into a guy I got drunk with in Halifax a few times. We are both east coasters. He was washing the hotel windows, I was rolling a joint inside that window. we know each other by name. Our bands have played shows together. 75joking25serious
Blue.
Not sure if this counts but i was doing my bathroom business.... then the window cleaner popped up out of the blue almost face to face. Noyesssss
Amused Much?
There was one time the people cleaned the windows of the office where I worked very early in the morning when no one was expecting it. The squeegee or brush thing hit the glass really loudly and everyone jumped, I half fell off my chair and one person spilled her coffee. I'm sure the guy was amused. Jack_ofMany_Trades
Nice Catch.
There was this house I use to clean, front and back windows. Anyway they had an extension built on the side of their house and didn't want us climbing on the roof to get to the back in case we crack any of their tiles. The lady who lives there, must of been in her thirties, asked if it would be possible to carry the ladder through the house and into the back the next time hers was due to be cleaned. I agree.
Two weeks later I knock on after cleaning her front windows and she answers in nothing but a towel and she tells me that she was just about get in shower. I ask if she wants me leave until next time, but she says no come through.
So I awkwardly begin maneuvering my ladder through and manage make it into the kitchen, as I'm standing it becomes apparently obvious that her kitchen layout is to small for me to get the ladder through to the back door but she begins trying to help me. Which results in, what I'm sure you're expecting, her towel dropping.
She catches it in the nick of time before anything below the waist is revealed, to her credit it was good reflexes. JakLee8909
Stuffed Ark.
I cleaned windows at a house stuffed with as many taxidermy animals they could fit. That was strange. Praeconium2501
In the Corner.
When i was a cleaner there was a old lady who had me do her windows. In the corner of the window on her third floor was this massive tarantula that was completely loose and just chillin. When I told her about it she said her nephew was "supposed to fix her spider issue." Dosu_Kinuta
Dorm Days.
In college, I worked all summer on the window cleaning crew for the university. The buildings were all older and we had to have two people working the spray pole from the ground and two people inside with towels ready to catch any water that leaked in from the spray.
Most of the dorms were empty so that was pretty uneventful but a number of the on-campus apartments were still occupied. One studio apartment was occupied by a hoarder. There was three feet of garbage with a path leading to the bed. The bed looked like someone had dumped a bucket of water on it due to how much grease and oil coved the sheet and the smell was unreal.
Another apartment had us paranoid the owner was going to come home and kill us all.
I like guns, but this guy was the sketchy kind of weapons enthusiast. Soldier of Fortune magazines littered the table along with empty 7.62x39 cardboard ammo boxes and walls decorated with various targets. In the middle of the kitchen table was a big novelty-sized hunting knife stuck point down in the table.
So we make our way upstairs and find a ton of seedlings and empty containers for what I'm assuming is an outdoor grow operation. All the windows have been blacked out with plastic and aluminum.
At that point, my coworker and I turn to each other and go "Welp... time to get the hell out of here."
We did turn the hoarder in to the residence admin, we did not turn in the militant gardner. Sea2Chi
I Frowned.
One time when I was about 12-13, I woke up, opened the curtains to my window cleaner smiling at me. That man also used to talk to my mom about his piles every time he came round. galbertgriffstein
To the Rescue!
I work as a window cleaner in Berlin, and once I saw a very attractive lady sitting in her bed having what looked like convulsions, I pulled my handy and was about to call the 911. Upon a second deeper look I realized she had her hands in her leggings and her eyes closed and was moving her back forward and back, a few seconds later I realized she was having an orgasm. It was amazing, Im glad I didn't fall.
I've been doing this for 5 years and I saw 7 ladies in such a position. I saw More men do that but thats not note worthy. icleanzewindow
Thanks for Dinner.
When I was 13 - 16 I worked as a window washer, and we had contracts with a bunch of small businesses (coffee shops /bars). My favorite was the local Twin Peaks - think Hooters but hotter girls in skimpier outfits and better food. We would get there before it was open to customers, and the girls would always give me a burger and a beer before heading to the next spot. My boss bet me that I couldn't get a date with the bartender, and he said if I got her to go out with me he would pay for dinner. Dated her for 4 months before I left the state. theogdirtysanchez
It's a favorite memory.
"I'm not a window cleaner" but once I was doing voter registration at 10am and my friend was upstairs and I was downstairs in an apartment complex. She passed an apartment window and saw a huge old tube TV blaring porn, which she relayed to me by humping the railing and gesticulating wildly. It's a favorite memory. troublesomefaux
SMAKCED!
I was cleaning windows for this old couple in the apt building where I worked.
He's telling us how great is it when we come every spring. He loves when all the windows are out at once, it opens up the whole apt, the air flow, bla bla bla...
And, not that we don't do a great job, but these windows are old and no matter how good we clean... there's nothing quite like nothing between you and the outside.
And then he went to stick his head out to look down and squarely smacked his full face into the clean window.boogers19
Need Bread?
Not a Window cleaner
Friend of mine was washing windows on the 15th floor and had to go to the bathroom, opened a window to an apartment that should of been empty... ran into a guy sexing a jar of jelly. RedVeist
What Temp you at?
Not a window cleaner, graffiti writer. We were on the roof of an abandoned factory that had a row of houses behind it, You could see into 3rd floor apartment kitchen. The was a man completely naked standing at a stove cooking. Behind him was what I imagine to be some sort of dom. A woman in thigh high leather boots and bra standing there with a horse whip. We watched for a minute or two but nothing happened, just cooking. 9Sandwiches
The Master Corner.
I worked for a window washing company until this incident, small town local company and we were hired to do the local gyms windows and mirrors. Anyways my co worker at the time said she would do the outside if I did the private "weights" room. I agreed and started cleaning, this room was just off of the main area and was slightly more private and I scrapped mess off of mirrors with scanty clad women engravings on them for about 4 hours before deciding there was too much and quit. Still refuse to go to that gym or look the gym owner in the eye. TheBatIsMe
Family.
This guy who had cardboard standees of his family all through his house. texasspacejoey
Happy Holidays.
I work events at hotels. Two stories come to mind. First one got off work and looked back at the hotel which was lit up for Christmas and saw a woman pushed up against the glass with her man right behind. They were only on the 3rd or 4th floor too.
Second thing was a recorded event in one of our panoramic event rooms. In the middle of one of the talks I looked up from my mixing board and saw a naked man standing in the hotel window across from us directly between the two speakers. I stood up and asked the camera man what their frame was and fortunately from their perspective the speakers head blocked out that particular window. 0RGASMIK
Bathroom Walk.
I was dog sitting for a client in a lux high rise apart building and wasn't told window cleaners came by once a week. Got out of the shower and heard my phone ringing in the living room so I walked naked to get my phone. Picked up the phone and as I turned around, saw the window cleaner. I didn't know what to do so I smiled and waved. He gave me a thumbs up and I walked back to the bedroom and shut the door. jtothehello
Pest People.
I do pest control, so I'm in every room of the house. I've been surprised with the amount of naked pictures of the parents in the master bedrooms. Maybe just turn those around when I come to the house. I've also been surprised with how many people answer the door in their underwear. waboobaleedoo
The Simple Things.
My dad owns a windowing cleaning company that I worked at for years. We did mostly residential low rise homes/cottages. The one thing that was most surprising to me was the amount of couples that sleep in separate bedrooms.
Window cleaning tip - if you hire window cleaners please move your furniture away from the windows. I don't want to get it wet, move it or in some cases have to climb on it. arlene_8_
Too Much....
When I was a teenager, my mom hired this old German guy who had retired from commercial cleaning to residential washing windows. He was fun to talk to as he had some cool stories (he was a German soldier during WWII).
One afternoon, we were chatting and I commented that his job as a commercial cleaner must have been interesting (I didn't really think that, but I wanted to be polite). He said it was, except now and again, he'd see things he wasn't supposed to see. "Like what?" "Too many naked people... too many..." He wouldn't tell me more, but he didn't say it in a positive light. I still wonder about that now and again... wtf were people doing? LionCM
Hey Lady.....
I am a consulting engineer working in building science and structural restoration. A number of years ago while working in Toronto at a 38-storey high rise, we (2 contractors and myself) were reviewing glazing and sealant bead and came down upon a window where a woman was grooming her bikini area.
We are always taught to see something inappropriate and look away. Apparently we looked so far away we missed the metal flashing lip of the next level down, our swing stage tilted one way and swung back and all three of us banged our heads into the lady's window. The glass didn't break but it sure scared the lady. strengr
Super weird if you ask me.
Climbing up a ladder let's you see into a lot of rooms whether you like it or not. Also A LOT of people have skylights in their bathrooms. The weirdest thing I saw was a picture hanging in a customers bathroom. The photo was the customer (a woman) in sorta like BDSM Lingerie in the bucket of a tractor, doing some sorts of (sexual) pose. On the ground, in a cheering pose (hands up, smiling) was their child, maybe 4 or 5 years old, looking up at her. Super weird if you ask me. The_Indifferent
Glassed Out.
Once I was doing this two story house, with big square plates of glass pretty much everywhere. The guy had every single painting on his walls covered with sheets, and absolutely would not allow us inside to get to the double hungs on the second floor. jbob172
All Smiles.
I only did the job for about 8 or 9 months but saw two unexpected things.
Got to the top of the ladder and saw a guy I know is a priest enjoying some porn. I scurried back down the ladder hoping he would hear me and then slowly went back up. He obviously had heard me because when I got back to the window he was standing up reading a bible.
The other time I got to the top of the ladder and saw a woman in her 80s sitting on her bed completely naked. I was sure she saw me so I gave her a few minutes before going back to the window. When I get there she's sitting in exactly the same place, still naked, smiling at me. I got a job in an office soon after. patafla
I just knew....
A rotund lady pooping while i was doing high rise window cleaning. You don't expect to have to close the window when in the bathroom on the 12th floor.
How do I know she was pooping and not peeing?
I just knew.... I just knew. MtmJM
Moved on with my life.
I was at a boring industry black tie event at a posh hotel in London a few years back. Woke up very hungover on the 12th floor, stumbled to the window and pulled open the curtains. 2 blokes stood there staring at my fat naked self, they were on one of those tall building platform things. Took me a moment to understand what the hell was going on. Closed curtains. Moved on with my life. mfinleyv
She Cares Not.
Not in the business anymore but I cleaned residential and commercial. The weirdest thing I ever saw was the wife of a famous actor had a bunch of naked portraits of herself around the house. Doing yoga, drinking coffee, stuff like that. She was sitting on the couch the whole time we were doing the windows like it ain't no thing. If she didn't care then neither did we. DestroyerOfWorlds831
The Barbs...
I had a friend and she worked as a cleaner when she was ~15, 16...she saw her classmate making out with her barbie doll... sometypeofhumanhere
All Good Here.
Didn't see anything strange per se.... but i did work on a few mansions, got to see the inside of the 1% homes.... pretty intense, huge theaters and stuff. I think the home was worth 20 million or something ridiculous?
Other than that my favorite was when cats would come up to the inside window while I was cleaning the outside, really made my day considering window washing is so monotonous and soul crushing. koffeekoala
Lovers.
My (maternal) grandfather was a window washer in the 1930s. He saw my (eventual) grandmother on the other side of the glass. amjadpac
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There is a world full of mysteries to explore right at our very feet.
Do we engage with it on a level that might make us more uncomfortable? Well, if we really want to learn everything there is to know about our planet earth, we have to engage in the unsettling facts. They appear across every discipline.
The Easier Way Out
<p>During the French Revolution, where the guillotine was introduced, the people to be executed fought to be first, as the blade would dull after multiple uses and wouldn't cut a head clean off at the first attempt.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Back2Bach/" target="_blank">Back2Bach</a></p><p>And the last execution by guillotine in France was the same year Star Wars came out.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/CaptainPrower/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">CaptainPrower</a></p>At LEAST One?!
<p>You have probably unknowingly encountered, or walked past at least one murderer in your lifetime.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/theprettyunicorn/" target="_blank">theprettyunicorn</a></p><p>For sure encountered. Worked night shift at a convenience store, guy pulled in to put gas came in the store used the atm and left. 3 min later swarm of cops surrounded the store. He had just murdered his family a couple states over and cops got a hit when he used the atm machine.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Cool1Mach/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Cool1Mach</a></p>WELP
<p>For a long time it was believed that babies were too underdeveloped to be able to feel pain, and as such, did not need anesthetic for any kind of surgeries.</p><p>Up into the 1980's.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/FartKilometre/" target="_blank">FartKilometre</a></p>Internet History
<p>Eventually, most of the content on the internet will have been created by dead people.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Phaesporic/" target="_blank">Phaesporic</a></p><p>Now I'm imagining a class like English literature but for internet culture and picturing a bored class with some kids sleeping while the teacher is saying some shit like "Okay class this meme is 100 years old and it says Me and the Boys going out to get some B E A N S what do the B E A N S symbolize and how does it reflect what was going on in society ? " lmao.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Cheshire_Cat8888/" target="_blank">Cheshire_Cat8888</a></p>Awful, Awful
<p>There are estimated to be at least 25 active serial killers in the United States alone at any given time. Very few will be detected, much less apprehended.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/brideofchuckydoll/" target="_blank">brideofchuckydoll</a></p><p>Derrick Todd Lee and Sean Vincent Gillis were both active serial killer in the same city from the late 90s to early 2000s. For most of this time, law enforcement did not realize they were trying to catch multiple individuals, much less that they were acting completely independently of each other. On top of that, there are additional unsolved murders that neither was ever linked to whose evidence raises the possibility of a third active serial killer in the area during the same time period.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/see-bees/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">see-bees</a></p>Viewer, Beware....
<p>National parks are not all swings and roundabouts. Over 1600 people have gone inside Yellowstone National Park and never come out.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/I_Am_A_Master-Baiter/" target="_blank">I_Am_A_Master-Baiter</a></p><p>Yellowstone is known for boiling water and pools of acid. People on this earth put gorrilla glue in their hair. I don't have any questions about what happened.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MCqStep/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">MCqStep</a></p>Statistically....
<p>If you end up being the victim of a violent crime, you probably know the perpetrators. You probably trust them, most likely, you love them.</p><p><span data-verified="redactor" data-redactor-tag="span"></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Double-Kicks/" target="_blank">Double-Kicks</a></p><p>People find it weird when the police declare most family members and close friends of murder victims to be suspects, but this is precisely why. You are FAR more likely to be (deliberately) killed by someone you know than a stranger. Also, in most countries and demographics, the most likely person to deliberately kill you is you.</p><p><span data-verified="redactor" data-redactor-tag="span"></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/kutuup1989/" target="_blank">kutuup1989</a></p>Our Brains Are Unsettling, Too
<p>There is a rare genetic degenerative brain disorder called Fatal Familial Insomnia. FFI starts as a mild inability to sleep followed by short bouts of intense nightmares/dreams and progressively deteriorates until the sufferer is completely unable to sleep, at all. Eventually impacting the human ability to microsleep as a last ditch effort of self preservation. There is no cure for FFI and eventually sufferers lose their minds and die of sleep deprivation. But it gets so much worse.</p><p>Due to the degenerative nature of the condition as it progresses you begin deteriorating mentally and physically. You lose the ability to regulate body temperature and may swing between freezing and sweating, you develop severe memory problems, confusion, agitation, weight loss, paranoia, hallucinations, speech problems, double vision, loss of motor controls (similar to parkinsons), inability to swallow, increased blood pressure and production of tears as well as many other unpleasant symptoms. The combination of your mind going and your body shutting down eventually kills you.</p>Rise Of The Machines
<p>There so far at least two fatalities as a result of robots, both of industrial type.</p><p>The first was in Flat Rock, Michigan in 1979 when an engineer was killed when he was hit in the back and crushed while retrieving parts at an automobile factory. It was due to a malfunctioning industrial robot he was fixing. The second was in Akashi, Hyōgo, Japan where a maintenance worker was fixing a broken-down robot when it came to life by mistake. Both locations happened in factories that are well-known for manufacturing vehicles.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MissSara101/" target="_blank">MissSara101</a></p>So Can We Fix The Justice System Now
<p>One to five percent of the US prison population is estimated to be innocent.</p><p>Combine that with the fact that one percent of the US population is incarcerated and your chance of being wrongly imprisoned in the 21st century is around 1 in 1000 in America.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Crocoshark/" target="_blank">Crocoshark</a></p>People Who Thoroughly Read The Terms And Conditions Share The Strangest Things They've Found
Let's be honest, most of us don't read the Terms and Conditions before we click that little "I Agree" button. Most of you probably aren't even going to read this intro.
A huge chunk of you are going to open this article and immediately scroll to "the meat" because we're all about getting to the good stuff. But that rush can sometimes mean missing out on some seriously important tidbits of info.
The Catch Was...
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTYxNy9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0Mzg2NjM3N30.Zr6T7LGuuXaTr7NKBFfaCTwEc0Fvu3yJ-KdYO-Xk_No/img.gif?width=980" id="c41a3" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f677f014d9104effd3b059212c9af24c" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Giphy<p>I financed some furniture when I was young and getting established in my first professional job. It was interest-free financing for the first 12 months. </p><p>The catch was that if you paid late, they would charge you a fee, back-interest from the beginning of the loan period, and you would lose the interest free status for the rest of the loan. The APR was 29.9%, compounded monthly! </p><p>I couldn't imagine getting to the 11th payment and having something go wrong so a payment is late, then pay basically double what I had financed on the furniture.</p><p>I paid it off in 6 months, and I never did in-store financing again.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnx5tr1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EngineeringQueen</a></p><p>This is most interest free gimmicks. Educate your friends. Usually the young ones fall victim to this.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny23jj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Chimmiii</a></p><p>I sold furniture and we had financing like this and I made sure to always tells my customers this so they couldn't come at me later on down the road. Others didn't and it just seemed so shady and f*cked up to me.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxldnd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Piccolo_known</a></p>Get It From The Next Owner
<p>I almost signed a contract that granted 50% of profits to the previous owner of the business for 3 years. It was a restaurant that used a conventional microwave instead of an actual oven.</p><p>This was back in the early 2000's and this place had a wonderful 50's vibe. From the bar, to the stools to booths - but it was empty because the food was SO bad and there was fast food up the road.</p><p>We were going to get a pizza oven in there and turn it into a Pizza/Shake place with soup in the winter. </p><p>When the law STUDENT we paid $500 to look over everything (DO THIS!) asked the seller about it for us, they said that they had sunk so much money into the business, the only way to make the money back was to get it from the next owner somehow.</p><p>Good luck with that.</p><p>We could not get them to remove that clause, the owner was hellbent on making the next person be the one to make the business successful and pay them.</p>18 Months
<p>A realtor once gave me a contract that said she would be the only person allowed to represent the property for 18 months.</p><p>That means that they were the only person that could try to sell the house. For <em>a year and a half</em>. We could not work with a different agent if we felt that this one wasn't doing enough, not responding, if we weren't happy, etc. </p><p>If we did, this agent would still get commission from the sale that that other agent actually made.</p><p>Nope. No way was I going to agree to being attached to someone for a year and a half like that. We found a different realtor with a 3 month term (which is much closer to standard), told the first one that her terms were ridiculous, and was under contract within 10 days.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny1hbr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Tricky-Garden</a></p>Idol Entitlement
<p>Canadian Idol auditions when the first show was announced. Read the contract to the very end after signing it.</p><p>"you agree to being filmed 24/7. We can enter your room at any time and record personal phone calls and interactions with anyone." </p><p>That received a hard no for me. Ripped up the contract and never looked back. Thank god I read that before submitting it.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny2yf4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">jenskal</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny2yf4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>Tell the camera crew to get out or get weird.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnz2mr7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WielderOfDaNWordPass</a></p><p>Fine want to record me 24/7? Congrats, I have IBS.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnz0d4s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">wanderurlyy</a></p>Phone Privileges
<p>To be able to link my phone's outlook reader to my university account, I would had to give the IT-department permission to wipe my phone clean "if needed."</p><p>No thanks, I'll just use browser instead.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxdc3z?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">craftaliis</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxdc3z?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I saw an employment contract where, if you did any company business on your cell phone, they could go through your phone and delete/restrict basically whatever they wanted. </p><p>I advised my friend to make a company-provided phone part of her contract.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxq6pc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EngineeringQueen</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxq6pc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>Yeah. Someone at my old company had a commonish name, and someone lost their phone... and the company wiped the wrong phone.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnye6z8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">blargh2947</a></p>The Good Ol' US of A
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTYxMi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyOTA1MDM5M30.A1BqwoI_FExTt3jqON2xJbJN1qt62txRrTsJ8V5Ybs8/img.gif?width=980" id="99844" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9236d4a9b82c22589577961a2a710924" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Season 3 America GIF by Broad CityGiphy<p>Any health and safety terms and conditions in USA. </p><p>I was working on adapting a US one for a charity event in the UK run by the same people and oh boy you cannot get away with that here. One line said if an employee harmed you in any way (even intentionally), you could not sue... </p><p>What!? </p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnydf7s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">lt52-</a></p>Keep It
<p>Free ceiling insulation. </p><p>The catch? You allowed a company to install temperature sensors around the inside of your house, and they can do that at any time. And you have to allow access for them to check the sensors and get readings, adjust things, and remove the sensors. Everything belongs to the company. </p><p>This means letting randos into your house potentially over and over to get their readings from the electrical crap they put in your house. </p><p>Nah I'm good, keep your insulation.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyrbn7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bumpequalsbump</a></p>Airlines
<p>Was going to post this as a response on another thread, but I want people to actually see it.</p><p>When you book a flight, in the terms and conditions (especially for basic and econo fares) you agree that in the event of your flight getting canceled due to an act outside of the airlines control they don't have to refund you unless they offer you a travel credit.</p><p>That includes a world spanning virus.</p><p>Don't be cheap, get travelers insurance or pay for the higher fare that has a refund clause.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxyb4e?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bpanio</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxyb4e?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a></p>Crepes
<p>I worked for a meat pie company that moved over from Australia that made me sign a contract that I would never work for another meat pie company or open an establishment that sells similar food. I didn't read the fine print. </p><p>They also sold a few other things ... like crepes. Sure enough, I wanted to open a food truck and my partner had her sights on crepes as she made them in her previous food truck and it just happened a truck we were buying was set up to make similar things. </p><p>I gave 1 month notice because they were busy and I didn't want to leave them stranded in high season. I told the owner we were working on a food truck we bought, it was a dream coming true, and that it happens we are doing crepes as my partner is French and had done them before.</p>This Sparks Joy
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTU2NS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxOTY0OTgxM30.takzFO7X_vx_UzNvPeNEvpcYSGho5_AZNX-itkNSdOE/img.gif?width=980" id="d78cf" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="09a8efb07fb739ec04f38de1406639f5" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="276" />Giphy<p>I'm pretty sure I gave google the rights to all of my Spotify data when they gave me a free google home. </p><p>On one hand, RIP privacy. </p><p>On the other hand, knowing some poor algorithm has to figure out some possible way to advertise things to me based on listening to Knock On Wood 57 times in a row and the soundtrack to Starship Troopers on repeat gives me great joy.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnywvs7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OakNogg</a></p>Claim $100
<p>Back when the internet really started being a thing, some company/website put something in their terms and conditions about the first person who reads it, can contact them to claim a $100 prize. </p><p>Took five years for somebody to claim the prize.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3g6s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">RubyShooz </a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3g6s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I wonder how much of that is people not reading it and how much is people reading it and thinking "surely somebody's already claimed this by now, why bother?"</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyj0gy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Novaseerblyat</a></p>Amazon ... Should We Be Worried?
<p>Not really an example of the worst thing, but you're not allowed to use Amazon's game engine (Lumberyard) for military/nuclear applications normally, but that restriction is suspended specifically if there's a zombie apocalypse</p><p><a href="https://aws.amazon.com/service-terms/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://aws.amazon.com/service-terms/</a> Clause 47.10: "<em>this restriction will not apply in the event of the occurrence (certified by the United States Centers for Disease Control or successor body) of a widespread viral infection transmitted via bites or contact with bodily fluids that causes human corpses to reanimate and seek to consume living human flesh, blood, brain or nerve tissue and is likely to result in the fall of organized civilization</em></p><p><em></em>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3skb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OldGodsAndNew</a></p>Most Ridiculous
<p>I recall a major airline in the pioneer days won an award for most ridiculous TOS to simply look up a flight arrival time on their web site.</p><p>If I recall, it was a 22,000 word document that an analysis said was written at a post graduate reading level. It states that you would, in perpetuity, never use that computer to connect to any other airline's website.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyb3lm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">NightMGR</a></p><p>What were they planning on doing about it if you broke the contract? Send a hitman after you or something?</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/go1hpi5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ChungusFungus303</a></p>Citibank Is Serious Business
<p>When I started work for Citibank, they asked me to sign two documents;</p><ol><li>promising I would never use encryption for any purpose other than Citibank's for as long as I live.</li><li>promising to obey the laws of all 196 countries on earth that Citibank operates in.</li></ol><p>So obviously I looked at my cubicle mate and stoned her to death for exposing her wrists, and I can no longer use HTTPS.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyy0u3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">beachbbqlover</a></p>Funeral Home Employees Divulge The Weirdest Requests They've Ever Gotten
Death is scary. It brings the unknown of the great beyond, whether that's heaven, some other afterlife, or total nothingness, depending on what you believe.
But there is one perk that comes with death: total control of your funeral.
Let the Games Begin
<p>"I got a request for the deceased to be dressed up in a Where's Waldo costume and to have 12 other identical caskets in the room so the guests could try to guess where he was by opening coffins randomly."</p><p>"Each guest was to play this guessing game and then sit down before the next person could enter so everyone could play the game."</p><p>"Problem was not everyone wanted to play the game.....super odd but they paid a lot for it."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnylmi3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ramontgomery</a></p>Dead In a Faraway Galaxy
<p>"The deceased was a huge Star Wars fan and left explicit instructions for his funeral."</p><p>"As funeral organist, I was requested to play Star Wars principal themes on the grand pipe organ for prelude music, processional and recessional."</p><p>"As I once described, pall bearers were dressed in main characters costumes and "Obi-Wan Kenobi" gave an inspired eulogy, drawing upon memorable moments from the series."</p><p>"Using 'full organ' (all the stops out) for climatic moments, I played the <em>Imperial March</em> at the conclusion of the funeral before those in attendance departed for the cemetery for the committal."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxielt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Back2Bach</a></p>A True Celebration of the Life He Lived
<p>"I'm a florist, and I've created some unique tributes out of fresh flowers, and more."</p><p>"I made a putting green two feet across, complete with ball, tee and a club for an avid golfer. I constructed a fish out of various blooms and leaves, placed by a lakeside foliage spray. I've made rainbows and black and white themed arrangements. I put a lot of heart into memorial pieces."</p><p>"A few years ago, I was helping a family decide on their tributes for a much-loved man. The wife stressed he was known for his big blue Giant Eagle truck, and most of their friends were from the driver's union."</p><p>"I volunteered myself for a watercolor picture of the truck around which I would design a floral spray. It took four attempts, but I was finally happy, and framed it."</p><p>"Two days later, I received the most wonderful letter from his wife, and said that everyone agreed it was the most appropriate and important statement about his life. It will sit on her mantle for the rest of her life."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnyf7h2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">cavepainted</a></p>Friends Til the Very End
<p>"My family owns a grave digging business as well as lawn and garden statues, someone purchased an 8ft tall gorilla statue."</p><p>"My dad delivered it and asked what they were going to do with it and where they were putting it, the guys said their friends dying wish was to be stuffed up this concrete gorillas a**, and that's what they did."</p><p>"They drilled a whole in the a** and put their buddies ashes inside"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnytm2i?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">hayhay428</a></p>Always Watching
<p>"My husband found out they can make gems out of cremains, and now he wants to be reduced to 2 jewels seated in his own eye sockets."</p><p>"I don't want a skull! I don't want to own his skull! I don't want him to watch me with his evil gem eyes!"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gny5vcy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ParadiseSold</a></p>For Science
<p>"My own will requests that my right eye be removed, preserved and delivered to my oncologist in Miami for him to do with whatever he sees fit."</p><p>"Hopefully as a teaching aid to new optometry students, but if he wants to use it for pranks I'm totally fine with that too."</p><p>"I survived a very unusual eye cancer and they had to do all kinds of experimental things to repair it when all was done. I jokingly suggested I donate it to science when I went and he said that was an amazing idea. So, here you go."</p><p>"I hope whoever deals with my corpse has fun with that request."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxp6ri?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">zerbey</a> </p>One Last Look
<p>"My wife's uncle asked the funeral director when he dies he would like his eyes open in the casket during his viewing."</p><p>"His entire life everyone commented on his big baby blue eyes and he wanted them open for people to see one last time."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnycdzg?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Agreeable-Scratch424</a></p>One Last F-You
<p>"One rich guy hated his kids and didn't want them to get a cent of his wealth. He therefore wanted all his money to spent on a mausoleum for his coffin with a rose garden around it and the eternal upkeep thereof."</p><p>"He had the city council-approved architectural plans for the mausoleum included in his will and testament."</p><p>"He demanded in his will that the remaining funds, after construction, must go to a gardening service to maintain the rose garden and clean off the bird poop from his mausoleum in perpetuity until the money runs out in a few centuries."</p><p>"The mausoleum is in Cemetery de Saint Rambert outside Lyon, France."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxnk4q?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">JingoisticJeremiah</a></p>Utter Indifference
<p>"My coworker was meeting a client who was picking up his mother's cremains. My coworker has the client sign a release, then hands him the urn."</p><p>The man immediately turns around and drops the urn into the trash can."</p><p>"My coworker is a 40 year funeral director veteran, and without missing a beat, he says, 'Sir, I can understand your strong feelings about your mother, but I cannot allow you to leave that here. What you do once you get out the door is up to you and God.' " </p><p>"Dude picked up the urn and left without a word."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnybff8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">keliez</a></p>To Reflect What She Was Like, Or Never Did?
<p>"My mom asked the embalmer to put a few stitches in my grandma's cheeks to give her a faint smile. </p><p>"At the time it seemed like an odd, even slightly morbid request, but 20+ years on, it's one of the only things I remember from her funeral. It was kind of lovely, actually."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnx79mi?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Fearless_Lab</a></p>After we've watched a movie, it can be difficult to imagine the film as a project that took months or years to finally culminate into the product we see at the theater or on our television.
But it was built and hacked together, piece by piece.