Window washers have quite an interesting job. For many of their assignments their lives are consistently in danger. The heights they often have to reach are death defying. So there never seems to be a dull moment, because aside from cheating death, they witness things that would astound the average person. They have glimpses into the lives of strangers that sometimes make them wish they were blind. I hope they all keep journals because witnessing crazy can be priceless.Redditor u/marky_sparky24 wanted all the window cleaners out there to share a tale or three by inquiring..... Window cleaners of Reddit, what is the weirdest thing you have seen while cleaning windows?
On the PC.
One of the window cleaners at my workplace is a good friend of mine and he said that he saw our manager receiving oral sex from his assistant under his table while he was working on the PC. DueTry9
All the gigs...
The weirdest thing I've seen while cleaning Windows?
50 gigabytes of temporary files and misc. downloads.
It was actually just a bunch of installers, misc. documents, files in the "AppData\Local\Temp" directory, backups of old programs, and the sort.
Ain't nobody cleaning out their wank bank. zenyl
Not a window cleaner, but I've been spotted by one.
Sat on my day off in my birthday suit having time with myself, smoking a joint and didn't hear our back gate go. He comes in as usual and starts to climb. I had the porn on at a high volume cause I was home alone. See his head poke up above the top of the net curtains and his eyes widen at me. I stared deadlocked with him for a second before lunging for a cushion to cover myself with. Most embarrassed I've ever been. I make sure my partner pays him each time he comes to the door now. And I'm more discreet. MickeySnacks
Life at McD's!
I used to be the janitor at a busy McDonalds next to a university campus a while back. Early in the morning I usually cleaned the windows outside before the drive through started to get too busy.
Usually saw some fairly strange people, but one that stuck out was a very unkempt and definitely hungover man foraging for cigarette butts in the trash, and on the pavement.
After he gathered a handful, he sat on the curb nearby, crushed the tiny bits of old stale tobacco out of the butts into a rolling paper, which he then licked, rolled, and then asked me if I had a light.
If I hadn't already quit smoking before then, that encounter would have made me do it. Vuldyn
Brian it's been so long.....
This is more on the sad side: We clean senior homes and in the dementia ward there was a woman that was asking me why they turned the volume down in the room because she couldn't hear me. She went on for awhile about that and how she disapproves of it. Eventually she started calling me Brian and said "Brian it's been so long since I've seen you, you never come visit." I've got to say that was both the weirdest and most saddening thing I have seen. jonahzapata
I don't know. Did some window washing during my college time back then and these are scheduled appointments - so there are really no surprises here and owners are usually prepared that we are there.
One time we did a rich guys house and it was just him and his girlfriend there. They got into a massive fight towards the end and she just walked out. Literally walked on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere and we picked here up on our way home. She was a sobbing mess, poor thing. theunrealabyss
The NoNO Place.
Former window cleaner of 5 years. The unusual things I have seen on the job usually took place in the downtown segment. Usually somebody irate or on drugs. On person in particular walking down the block with no pants on. They were over weight too so the tummy blocked their nono place. Other than that nothing to weird in my tenure. Dargonite913
"psst, hey, Is there a guy in there?"
I was the person inside. I lived in a third floor apartment with a roommate. I had a gentleman friend who I'd recently started seeing romantically come over late at night and he wound up spending the night for the first time. We woke up that morning to some people on a ladder cleaning the gutters or something. They awkwardly tried to avoid eye contact and I think we just ignored them and rolled over and went back to sleep. But when they moved past my window to my roommates room, she, being curious if my gentleman caller and I had hooked up, asked they guy, "psst, hey, Is there a guy in there?" And said that he shifted his eyes side to side and did a quick nod with a straight face and then got back to cleaning and got the heck out of there. The way she described it cracked me up. foxyrain
Not a window cleaner, but my son was admitted to the hospital once. His room had a big window, and across from that window was another wing of the hospital. It was dusk, but there was a light on across the way so I looked. There was a medical team doing something to a woman. She was lying on her back, on a table, feet in stirrups, and knees spread. I could see "her" when the doctor (I'm assuming) moved from between her legs. He had a headlamp on, and there was one of those big surgical lights on over the table. The rest of the room was dark. After a moment or two of staring, one of the medical staff motioned, urgently, to the blinds, and they were then closed. I have no idea what happened after that. Clairenator
Itsy Bitsy Nothing...
The window cleaner commented on the huge spider on the inside of our office room window. He assumed it was caged in some way, but we explained how it's free, but stays on its web which spans the one meter width of the window recess.
Quite a few of us in the UK keep exotic spiders other than just tarantulas! Mine is a Nephila inaurata madagascariensis for anyone interested :)
The larger spider (about 10 cm legspan) is mature, her tiny husband is just above her. Close-up of the egg sac she dropped a few nights ago, with distinctive yellow silk. El-rond
I worked at subway a while back, and for some reason windows were just my duty, and I'm almost 100% certain I was the only one that ever actually cleaned them. Anyway...
Windows of our store over looked a busy intersection. Saw a dude speed through a red light while cars were still going through and miraculously there was no accident. A LOT of honking and people slamming their breaks, though. BeaDoodle
Peek A Boo Nasty...
This happened in Indonesia. I was staying at my mom's apartment and had a boy over. We were getting nasty and then window cleaner roll down on their lift thingy and saw us getting nasty. Worst part is I knew who they were because they happened to work around the apartment building. Imma_rage_quit_too
Still a Good Story.
Once I was visiting New York with a friend. His uncle, a musician on Broadway had an apartment in Astoria that we crashed at and, as a thanks, we got him a bottle of Lagavulin. He duly poured us glasses and we sat there across his single long couch facing the window, drinking until pretty quick we noticed across the street and the next apartment up there was a girl dancing around naked, probably doing some kind of movie with her boyfriend. This goes on for a very short time before they notice us and immediately the lights of the apartment go dark. Immediately and in unison, we all raised our glasses of scotch to the dark apartment. The end. He keeps his windows VERY clean. Volcan_R
So, the company I work for is partnered with an apartment complex, where we clean all the windows in 2 buildings each month. We get there early in the morning to take all the screens out of the windows, and apparently the manager had forgotten to send out the emails telling people we'd be coming that day. I have a master key, so standard protocol is just to unlock the door and knock as I'm entering, then yell "maintenance!"
Well one apartment was particularly surprised at my entrance, and quickly spun around on his couch. He asked if I could just come back later and do his windows another day. I was confused, but realized why he was so started after I noticed the hoard of tissues, lotion and pillows on the coffee table in front of him. I don't think I ever actually went back to that apartment to do his windows. I wouldn't know what to say to him if I did. Cpt_Sideburns
I was doing metal work at the top of a major building in Atl and we had to use the same window cleaning platforms. When coming down for lunch one day we saw a huge conference table covered with MILLIONS of dollars. sti-guy
Window cleaner here. I was up on a ladder doing an older single woman's house and happened to be at her bedroom window. She was in the process of getting out of the shower and was fully naked and bent over putting on her under wear and just happened to turn around to find me washing the window. (I may add this woman was in her early 50s and extremely good looking for a 50 something year old woman.) Anyways, she turns around and stood up.
She didn't freak out but closed her blinds and when I finished the job I knocked on the door to give her the bill and all she said to me was " I hope you enjoyed what you saw" with a little devious smile. To which I replied yes mam, thank you very much and took the check and went on my way. I do her house every six months now and we know each other on a first name basis lol. whydoweusethese
I was so mad.
Not really weird but was really gross.
I work with kids and part of my job is cleaning, including wiping off the windows. I have cleaned off so many boogers, a lot of snot, sometimes blood, and a shit ton of sweat stains. Sometimes theres an imprint of someone's lips on there.
For something weird though I was once cleaning the outside of a window when a kid comes up to the window on the inside and starts watching me. probably about 6 or 7. After about 2 minutes, he promptly places his mouth on the glass and licks the window up and down, side to side, basically everywhere. Then for good measure he wiped his hands on it.
I had just finished the inside window. I was so mad. Classic-Problem
It's a Bird...
I don't clean windows but I imagine it's stuff like this:
My dad used to work in a tall glass building in Central London, often he'd hear loud thumps around the building. Turned out they were birds doing kamikaze attacks. KingJimXI
Tapped and Ready....Giphy
When I was 19 I got a loosely supervised job for a local beer distributor cleaning the place. The first day my buddy and I started making our rounds: vacuuming, cleaning windows, that kind of crap. As we were making our way to the break room with the Kirby we realized on the other side of a massive conference room table there were about 8 kegs tapped and ready. Needless to say the place didn't get cleaned well enough for us to do it two nights in a row. saidin_handjob
Do you Mom.
I work on a small team of only women. We usually only have like 3 people in the office on the weekends and we are on the third floor. My colleague decided to pump breast milk in her cubicle and just told us not to come over until she gave the okay. Not unusual. Right as she started pumping completely uncovered, a random window cleaner descended from above and she let out a shriek. I don't think he even noticed right away, but then we watched him quickly try to scurry away from the window. He never came back to clean those windows, lol. vivid23
20th floor Toronto, I ran into a guy I got drunk with in Halifax a few times. We are both east coasters. He was washing the hotel windows, I was rolling a joint inside that window. we know each other by name. Our bands have played shows together. 75joking25serious
Not sure if this counts but i was doing my bathroom business.... then the window cleaner popped up out of the blue almost face to face. Noyesssss
There was one time the people cleaned the windows of the office where I worked very early in the morning when no one was expecting it. The squeegee or brush thing hit the glass really loudly and everyone jumped, I half fell off my chair and one person spilled her coffee. I'm sure the guy was amused. Jack_ofMany_Trades
There was this house I use to clean, front and back windows. Anyway they had an extension built on the side of their house and didn't want us climbing on the roof to get to the back in case we crack any of their tiles. The lady who lives there, must of been in her thirties, asked if it would be possible to carry the ladder through the house and into the back the next time hers was due to be cleaned. I agree.
Two weeks later I knock on after cleaning her front windows and she answers in nothing but a towel and she tells me that she was just about get in shower. I ask if she wants me leave until next time, but she says no come through.
So I awkwardly begin maneuvering my ladder through and manage make it into the kitchen, as I'm standing it becomes apparently obvious that her kitchen layout is to small for me to get the ladder through to the back door but she begins trying to help me. Which results in, what I'm sure you're expecting, her towel dropping.
She catches it in the nick of time before anything below the waist is revealed, to her credit it was good reflexes. JakLee8909
I cleaned windows at a house stuffed with as many taxidermy animals they could fit. That was strange. Praeconium2501
In the Corner.
When i was a cleaner there was a old lady who had me do her windows. In the corner of the window on her third floor was this massive tarantula that was completely loose and just chillin. When I told her about it she said her nephew was "supposed to fix her spider issue." Dosu_Kinuta
In college, I worked all summer on the window cleaning crew for the university. The buildings were all older and we had to have two people working the spray pole from the ground and two people inside with towels ready to catch any water that leaked in from the spray.
Most of the dorms were empty so that was pretty uneventful but a number of the on-campus apartments were still occupied. One studio apartment was occupied by a hoarder. There was three feet of garbage with a path leading to the bed. The bed looked like someone had dumped a bucket of water on it due to how much grease and oil coved the sheet and the smell was unreal.
Another apartment had us paranoid the owner was going to come home and kill us all.
I like guns, but this guy was the sketchy kind of weapons enthusiast. Soldier of Fortune magazines littered the table along with empty 7.62x39 cardboard ammo boxes and walls decorated with various targets. In the middle of the kitchen table was a big novelty-sized hunting knife stuck point down in the table.
So we make our way upstairs and find a ton of seedlings and empty containers for what I'm assuming is an outdoor grow operation. All the windows have been blacked out with plastic and aluminum.
At that point, my coworker and I turn to each other and go "Welp... time to get the hell out of here."
We did turn the hoarder in to the residence admin, we did not turn in the militant gardner. Sea2Chi
One time when I was about 12-13, I woke up, opened the curtains to my window cleaner smiling at me. That man also used to talk to my mom about his piles every time he came round. galbertgriffstein
To the Rescue!
I work as a window cleaner in Berlin, and once I saw a very attractive lady sitting in her bed having what looked like convulsions, I pulled my handy and was about to call the 911. Upon a second deeper look I realized she had her hands in her leggings and her eyes closed and was moving her back forward and back, a few seconds later I realized she was having an orgasm. It was amazing, Im glad I didn't fall.
I've been doing this for 5 years and I saw 7 ladies in such a position. I saw More men do that but thats not note worthy. icleanzewindow
Thanks for Dinner.
When I was 13 - 16 I worked as a window washer, and we had contracts with a bunch of small businesses (coffee shops /bars). My favorite was the local Twin Peaks - think Hooters but hotter girls in skimpier outfits and better food. We would get there before it was open to customers, and the girls would always give me a burger and a beer before heading to the next spot. My boss bet me that I couldn't get a date with the bartender, and he said if I got her to go out with me he would pay for dinner. Dated her for 4 months before I left the state. theogdirtysanchez
It's a favorite memory.
"I'm not a window cleaner" but once I was doing voter registration at 10am and my friend was upstairs and I was downstairs in an apartment complex. She passed an apartment window and saw a huge old tube TV blaring porn, which she relayed to me by humping the railing and gesticulating wildly. It's a favorite memory. troublesomefaux
I was cleaning windows for this old couple in the apt building where I worked.
He's telling us how great is it when we come every spring. He loves when all the windows are out at once, it opens up the whole apt, the air flow, bla bla bla...
And, not that we don't do a great job, but these windows are old and no matter how good we clean... there's nothing quite like nothing between you and the outside.
And then he went to stick his head out to look down and squarely smacked his full face into the clean window.boogers19
Not a Window cleaner
Friend of mine was washing windows on the 15th floor and had to go to the bathroom, opened a window to an apartment that should of been empty... ran into a guy sexing a jar of jelly. RedVeist
What Temp you at?
Not a window cleaner, graffiti writer. We were on the roof of an abandoned factory that had a row of houses behind it, You could see into 3rd floor apartment kitchen. The was a man completely naked standing at a stove cooking. Behind him was what I imagine to be some sort of dom. A woman in thigh high leather boots and bra standing there with a horse whip. We watched for a minute or two but nothing happened, just cooking. 9Sandwiches
The Master Corner.
I worked for a window washing company until this incident, small town local company and we were hired to do the local gyms windows and mirrors. Anyways my co worker at the time said she would do the outside if I did the private "weights" room. I agreed and started cleaning, this room was just off of the main area and was slightly more private and I scrapped mess off of mirrors with scanty clad women engravings on them for about 4 hours before deciding there was too much and quit. Still refuse to go to that gym or look the gym owner in the eye. TheBatIsMe
This guy who had cardboard standees of his family all through his house. texasspacejoey
I work events at hotels. Two stories come to mind. First one got off work and looked back at the hotel which was lit up for Christmas and saw a woman pushed up against the glass with her man right behind. They were only on the 3rd or 4th floor too.
Second thing was a recorded event in one of our panoramic event rooms. In the middle of one of the talks I looked up from my mixing board and saw a naked man standing in the hotel window across from us directly between the two speakers. I stood up and asked the camera man what their frame was and fortunately from their perspective the speakers head blocked out that particular window. 0RGASMIK
I was dog sitting for a client in a lux high rise apart building and wasn't told window cleaners came by once a week. Got out of the shower and heard my phone ringing in the living room so I walked naked to get my phone. Picked up the phone and as I turned around, saw the window cleaner. I didn't know what to do so I smiled and waved. He gave me a thumbs up and I walked back to the bedroom and shut the door. jtothehello
I do pest control, so I'm in every room of the house. I've been surprised with the amount of naked pictures of the parents in the master bedrooms. Maybe just turn those around when I come to the house. I've also been surprised with how many people answer the door in their underwear. waboobaleedoo
The Simple Things.
My dad owns a windowing cleaning company that I worked at for years. We did mostly residential low rise homes/cottages. The one thing that was most surprising to me was the amount of couples that sleep in separate bedrooms.
Window cleaning tip - if you hire window cleaners please move your furniture away from the windows. I don't want to get it wet, move it or in some cases have to climb on it. arlene_8_
When I was a teenager, my mom hired this old German guy who had retired from commercial cleaning to residential washing windows. He was fun to talk to as he had some cool stories (he was a German soldier during WWII).
One afternoon, we were chatting and I commented that his job as a commercial cleaner must have been interesting (I didn't really think that, but I wanted to be polite). He said it was, except now and again, he'd see things he wasn't supposed to see. "Like what?" "Too many naked people... too many..." He wouldn't tell me more, but he didn't say it in a positive light. I still wonder about that now and again... wtf were people doing? LionCM
I am a consulting engineer working in building science and structural restoration. A number of years ago while working in Toronto at a 38-storey high rise, we (2 contractors and myself) were reviewing glazing and sealant bead and came down upon a window where a woman was grooming her bikini area.
We are always taught to see something inappropriate and look away. Apparently we looked so far away we missed the metal flashing lip of the next level down, our swing stage tilted one way and swung back and all three of us banged our heads into the lady's window. The glass didn't break but it sure scared the lady. strengr
Super weird if you ask me.
Climbing up a ladder let's you see into a lot of rooms whether you like it or not. Also A LOT of people have skylights in their bathrooms. The weirdest thing I saw was a picture hanging in a customers bathroom. The photo was the customer (a woman) in sorta like BDSM Lingerie in the bucket of a tractor, doing some sorts of (sexual) pose. On the ground, in a cheering pose (hands up, smiling) was their child, maybe 4 or 5 years old, looking up at her. Super weird if you ask me. The_Indifferent
Once I was doing this two story house, with big square plates of glass pretty much everywhere. The guy had every single painting on his walls covered with sheets, and absolutely would not allow us inside to get to the double hungs on the second floor. jbob172
I only did the job for about 8 or 9 months but saw two unexpected things.
Got to the top of the ladder and saw a guy I know is a priest enjoying some porn. I scurried back down the ladder hoping he would hear me and then slowly went back up. He obviously had heard me because when I got back to the window he was standing up reading a bible.
The other time I got to the top of the ladder and saw a woman in her 80s sitting on her bed completely naked. I was sure she saw me so I gave her a few minutes before going back to the window. When I get there she's sitting in exactly the same place, still naked, smiling at me. I got a job in an office soon after. patafla
I just knew....
A rotund lady pooping while i was doing high rise window cleaning. You don't expect to have to close the window when in the bathroom on the 12th floor.
How do I know she was pooping and not peeing?
I just knew.... I just knew. MtmJM
Moved on with my life.
I was at a boring industry black tie event at a posh hotel in London a few years back. Woke up very hungover on the 12th floor, stumbled to the window and pulled open the curtains. 2 blokes stood there staring at my fat naked self, they were on one of those tall building platform things. Took me a moment to understand what the hell was going on. Closed curtains. Moved on with my life. mfinleyv
She Cares Not.
Not in the business anymore but I cleaned residential and commercial. The weirdest thing I ever saw was the wife of a famous actor had a bunch of naked portraits of herself around the house. Doing yoga, drinking coffee, stuff like that. She was sitting on the couch the whole time we were doing the windows like it ain't no thing. If she didn't care then neither did we. DestroyerOfWorlds831
I had a friend and she worked as a cleaner when she was ~15, 16...she saw her classmate making out with her barbie doll... sometypeofhumanhere
All Good Here.
Didn't see anything strange per se.... but i did work on a few mansions, got to see the inside of the 1% homes.... pretty intense, huge theaters and stuff. I think the home was worth 20 million or something ridiculous?
Other than that my favorite was when cats would come up to the inside window while I was cleaning the outside, really made my day considering window washing is so monotonous and soul crushing. koffeekoala
My (maternal) grandfather was a window washer in the 1930s. He saw my (eventual) grandmother on the other side of the glass. amjadpac
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There is so much to learn in life.
And once you acquire certain things mentally, you regret it.
How much 411 have you come across over time that made you think... "How can I unlearn that?"
Yeah, not possible.
Knowledge is power and sometimes it's a nightmare.
Don't we have enough to keep us up at night?
Well let's do some learning.
Redditor RedBoyFromNewy wanted to shed some light on creepy issues we need to be discussing. They asked:
"What’s a disturbing fact that not a lot of people know of?"
So who is ready to spill, and where do you find the info?
From the GutsBasketball Wives Ugh GIF by VH1Giphy
"Without mucus your stomach would digest itself."
"The reason you body produces more saliva before vomiting is your bodies way if protecting your mouth from the acidity of the vomit before you actually throw up."
"There are more suicides than homicides in the US every year."
"60% of all gun deaths in fact are suicides. It is estimated that someone offs themselves with a firearm every 20 minutes in the US. And 80% of them are males."
"And what's worse (knowing, as my family just went through this.)... 70% of suicides have no note. It's a common misconception that most people leave a note and it just isn't true. Mainly because a lot of people who write notes realize they don't want to go through with it. Those who are 'successful' just do it."
"You can give still 'birth' if you die while pregnant. The decomp process will force the baby out. It’s rare but it does happen."
"This is usually what ends up happening when a pregnant woman gets murdered. They usually find the fetus either completely separate (like in the Lacy and Connor Peterson case) or in the same location as the mother, but clearly birthed (like with the case with Shanann Watts). It's something I never knew happened until very recently and I think it's one of the most horrifying aspects of death."
"The deadliest ship disaster was the MV Wilhelm Gustloff, a ship built during the Nazi Regime. In January 1945, she was evacuating 10,000 German citizens ahead of the soviet Invasion when (albeit ironically) a Soviet Submarine spotted them, and fired three torpedoes. The ship was on the freezing cold Baltic Sea, and the davits (ropes) for the lifeboats had frozen over."
"Not only that, but the ship was only meant to carry 2,000 people normally. These two factors, coupled with the harsh angle the ship was sinking at, meant only half of the lifeboats could be deployed. 9,400 people drowned to death that night, and nobody knows about it."
I See YouKung Fu Wtf GIF by A24Giphy
"Your eyes have a separate immune system than the rest of your body, and if your normal immune system ever learns about your eyes, it will target them and you'll go blind."
Oh my eye. How do we protect them? As if I don't have enough stress.
LaunchedStanley Cup Nhl GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphy
"Penguins can launch their poop out of their butts like 5-6m far."
"Cotard's delusion, also known as walking corpse syndrome, is a neuropsychiatric disorder in which the person is in eternal damnation. They literally believe they are dead or dying [or don't have organs], the amount of despair is unimaginable and simply can't be grasped by people not suffering from it."
"It may seem like we know a lot about the human brain, but our standard way of studying brain activity is an fMRI, where a single pixel contains over 3 million neurons. That is more than many vertebrate animals' entire brains. The truth is, we really have no idea how the brain gives rise to consciousness."
"Edit: Even if we somehow perfectly worked out all the neural correlates of consciousness so we could say a mental state happens if and only if some exact pattern of brain activity happens, we would still have the 'hard problem' of consciousness: Why do these physical processes give rise to raw subjective experience, rather than just happening 'in the dark?'"
"If your esophagus closes and you cannot swallow, you have about 2 minutes before saliva starts reaching your windpipe. It is not a long time, but it is long enough to panic..."
"I have Eosiniphillic Oesophagitis and have had food stuck in the oesophagus for up to 24 hours before. And it’s horrible. You don’t realise how much saliva you swallow, to be constantly choking and vomiting that back up isn’t the best experience!"
Get LuckyPrayer GIFGiphy
"You’ve probably been closer to dying multiple times in your life then you even know. Just got lucky, or unlucky depending on who you are."
Well that's enough to disrupt sleep for life. Thanks y'all.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
The best stories are ones with exciting plot twists.
But the next best type of stories are the ones that continue spiraling out of control.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor _Mitnix_ asked:
"What's your best 'oh you thought this was bad, it gets worse' story?"
It's story time. You may want to buckle up.
It All Started With A Cat
"This is a long one, but I promise it's worth it:"
"A buddy of mine was cat-sitting for a friend of his while the guy was out of town on a vacation. My buddy didn't have a car, so the dude told him that if he needed to go out and pick up more cat food or anything, he could borrow the car."
"At the time, my buddy was living right down the street from this guy, staying at his parents' house. So my buddy was just going over for a few hours each day to feed the cat and keep it company, then going back home."
"Meanwhile, he's also been flirting with this woman online. She lives several states away, but he feels like they seem to be getting pretty serious. So he decides to take some liberties, really push the envelope on where he'll pick up cat food from, and he takes his friend's car on a little multi-state road trip."
"This is insane, right? Just atrociously bad judgement, especially since someone does need to feed the cat. To solve this, he left his parents a note. It read, 'I am camping in the woods behind our house. Please go over to ____'s and feed his cat. I'll let you know when I'm home.'"
"Boom. Problem solved, right?"
"Except that the 'woods behind our house' are about 20 yards deep. It takes less than five minutes to walk through them and come out into the neighboring housing development. So his parents went looking for him, calling out for him, and couldn't find him. They got worried and contacted a family friend, a local police officer. He subsequently got a hold of the fire department. There was a full-on search party combing through about 1/50th of an acre of woods. Unsurprisingly, they were coming up with nothing."
"This was before cell phones were common, so my buddy was completely unaware that his plan had fallen apart. He was cruising along on his 12-hour drive, expecting to get to this girl's house just in time for dinner. Except he didn't have a GPS. So he got lost. Very lost. Like, by the time he turned up at this woman's house, it was almost midnight."
"When he got there, she was crying her eyes out. He assured her that it was okay, he was fine, wasn't hurt or in a wreck or anything, he'd just gotten lost. And she said, 'No, no, I wasn't worried about you. My dad just died in a motorcycle accident.'"
"So he bailed on his cat-sitting duties, stole a car, and inspired his parents to file a missing-persons just so he could awkwardly watch a woman cry for a few hours and then drive back home."
The Beekeeper's Nightmare
"I will try to keep it short. I am a beekeeper. My 3rd year of beekeeping, I suddenly developed a severe allergy to bee stings. It was spring and I was installing bees for the beginning of the season. I was up to the last hive, went to install that package of bees and one stung me right in the top of my head."
"I finished up a few minutes after and went up toward the house to do some other things. I started feeling flush and I could feel my heart racing. After I few minutes I realized I was having an anaphylactic reaction."
"If you’ve never had one, aside from the physical symptoms, they also say you will get a feeling of impending doom. That was spot on. I absolutely felt I was going to die and people do die from these reactions."
"So I am now in the house and desperately searching for Benadryl of which I have none. I am also having trouble breathing, my body is going haywire and I feel like I’m going to black out shortly."
"I call my mom, who lives an hour away, to call 911 because I feel like I will be unconscious soon. She says okay, phone rings 30 seconds later. It’s my mom, she goes 'I called 911 but they said you have to call'. This was my first wtf."
"So I call and it’s a very typical 911 call she is trying to keep me talking and I essentially started vomiting and she is still on the line and I am waiting and waiting for this alleged ambulance."
"A full half hour goes by. At this point I am actually coming out of the reaction. So I go to sit at my kitchen counter. I’m still on the line with the 911 dispatcher. I see the ambulance pull up and I say, oh they’re here. She’s like great, are you okay? I’m like yes and then she says goodbye and hangs up."
"I see the EMTs outside but my driveway has a gate so they are just standing there and they ring the bell on my gate and I am just looking at them, dumbfounded. Like I called for an emergency over a half hour ago, and they’re gonna roll up here and ring my bell and wait for me to come out when I more than likely could be unconscious or dead on the floor."
"I literally had to go out and let them in. Then they basically talked me in to going to the hospital to get checked out. Another huge mistake because this took place in the 2 months in my entire life when I didn’t have health insurance. So I ended up paying $4000 for a late ambulance and some IV Benadryl and epinephrine."
"Oh which also reminds me, a paramedic also showed, put the IV in when I agreed to go to the hospital. Then I felt something dripping and turns out he put it in my artery rather than a vein and it was just pushing the fluid out of the IV."
"0/10 would not go through any of that again…but I did 10 years later when I had another anaphylactic reaction due to a bee sting. However this went a lot smoother and I had epi-pens and a responsive ambulance."
"Arrive home from work, my house reeks of oil."
"Go in the basement, and there's a pool of oil, with my stuff floating in it. The oil filter on my burner rotted out (it was defective and recalled, but the tech never bothered to notify me or replace it). Call up the tech, he throws a new one, charges me the emergency call fee, and advises I call HO insurance before running away (it was his fault, I didn't know it yet)."
"This was February in NY, about 13F out, and obviously the burner wasn't on while sitting in a pool of oil. But, they get there pretty quickly soak it up, and get things running so my pipes don't freeze."
"Only way to get the smell out is to dry clean everything I own, then shampoo all the carpets, run deodorizers, etc. Takes weeks. Had a headache the whole time."
"Turns out, my basement has cracks, most of it leaked through. They had to cut out my foundation and dig out the contaminated soil."
"Oil in soil means DEC gets involved. Whole new can of worms as they now had to monitor the process, test at every step. Big enough deal I have a spill number in their database."
"A 20 yard dumpster, with 20 yards of oil soaked sand, is so heavy that it broke through my driveway, destroying it. They did that twice, took out my entire driveway."
"Remember how I said this was in February? March brought the COVID shutdown."
"I spent over a year with my basement in shambles, holes in my driveway, plastic sheets taped up, no washer/dryer, and all sorts of equipment kicking around."
"The next spring, they're back and working, and screwed everything up. Not going to get into every detail, but after a big fight, I managed to get rid of them and bring in a new company to fix their screwups and finish the job. Old crew got very difficult when the new crew requested permits and reports. Turns out, they never bothered. Had to do all that before they could start working again."
"New company dropped a storage crate on my yard to store my stuff while working, destroyed my grass, took out a sprinkler, took out my neighbor's driveway curb, got concrete all over my brickwork, but at least the nightmare was finally over."
These Redditors have been dealt with some major blows.
People who say that things will always get better, are partially right. Things do come around, eventually.
But you never know how many curve balls life has to throw at you until there's a resolution.
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Life is full of disappointments. We lose out on a job opportunity or the one designer article of clothing we really wanted is not available in our size.
But we go on.
But the biggest letdowns are the ones we never see coming but must contend with.
Redditor Frequent-Pilot5243 asked:
"What is a depressing truth you have made peace with?"
No matter how much you prize a friendship, not all of them are for forever.
Here Today, Gone Tomorrow
"A friendship you thought would last forever can end in an instant."
The Best Mate Who Quit
"My best mate of 20 years, said that he didn’t want to be my best man and just said he didn’t want to be my friend any more. Hurt like hell."
It's Okay To Let Go
"Sometimes people you care deeply about will choose to drop out of your life and all you can really do is have the grace to let them."
"edit. to everyone struggling with being left behind, and to everyone struggling with having to be the one to leave- I hope the pain eases for you soon."
Restarting The Process
"I have a really hard time with this one. Every friendship I've had in my adult life has only lasted a couple years tops. Rarely a falling out or anything, but just drifting apart or sh*t happens type deal. It's hard for me to make friends in the first place because I'm pretty shy, so having to regularly restart that process is really discouraging. Right now I don't really have any friends because I've just kinda given up trying."
The harsh reality of losing the people we love hits home for these Redditors.
"My grandpa just wanted to get to know me and the man I was becoming during his last year of life. Which I was too young and too selfish to realize."
"Yeah, this hits home. I spent 90% of my childhood with my grandparents. I was at their house almost everyday. When I got into my teens and obviously found friends, discovered women, all that stuff and then I just stopped seeing them. They’re both gone now and they died with the memories of me as a child. Although they seen me sometimes while I was older, they didn’t know me because I didn’t give them the chance."
"My dad passed away 6 weeks ago and I will NEVER see, hear, chat or get to hug him ever again & that forever is a long time."
These sobering facts were huge disappointments.
Truth About CPR
"This is coming from a firefighter:"
"If you have to perform CPR on them, it's most likely over for the patient."
"I'm not sure if I've made peace with it completely, but I've accepted it at least."
The After Effects
"I've taken CPR training twice in the past 10 years. The instructors were so completely different... The second one flat out told us 'you're giving them about a 15% chance of living, and even if they live, they will probably have some kind of severe trauma that will dramatically decrease their quality of life.' Wow..."
Despite Having Good Intentions...
"No one is coming to help."
That Train Has Left The Station
"I'm aging nonstop."
Innocence Is Gone
"My childhood is gone, and I have no good memory from that phase of my life."
No matter what, life goes on with or without us.
The best that any of us can do while we're passengers on this giant spaceship is to take life as it comes and pick up the pieces the best we can when things don't pan out as we'd hoped.
Sometimes, it's about celebrating the small victories–like finally finding a store that has your shoe size.
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The truth matters.
Something one would think was a given in modern society.
Yet all over the world, there are people so unbelievably stubborn, that they simply refuse to believe the facts.
Sometimes even when presented with evidence.
This could be for something menial, such as refusing to believe that a cotton candy was actually invented by a dentist.
But sometimes, refusing to believe the truth could have serious consequences, up to and including climate change, the effectiveness of masks, and the disproportionate amount of gun violence in the US.
Redditor Lady_Of_The_Water was curious about the many things, both frivolous and serious, people refused to believe were true, leading them to ask:
"Whats something someone thought you were wrong about and ridiculed you for it, but it turns out you were right?"
What's that smell?
"That there really was a gas leak in the apartment building."
"Thankfully, the fire didn't cause much damage."- yamsnavas2.
There's a reason the bill is so high.
"Our water usage at work went up a lot."
"They checked all the toilets, sinks for leaks, couldn't find anything."
"I mentioned that it seemed to coincide with the new water cooler system installation, maybe that should be checked."
"They basically laughed at me."
"That stupid water system never worked good and the guy came in 3 different times and said it was just the filter."
"Every month it needs changed???"
"Didn't seem right."
"Finally a different technician came in and result was it was never installed correctly."
"I asked, 'could that have anything to do with the increased water usage that started when this got installed?'"
" He smiled 'I wondered if anyone caught that, yes the valve was not correct and water has been running'."
"For 5 months!!"
"If only they had listened."
"Total redemption!"- McTee967.Nbc Jump GIF by SuperstoreGiphy
Have you ever looked at a map?
"I had a coworker doubling down repeatedly, claiming that new Zealand is north of Australia."
"I even told her about how I had lived there and she just assumed I was such a huge idiot that I didn't know where on the globe I was living."
"Brought the smartphone out and put an end to that."
"Let me just say, it's ok to not know where all the countries are."
"The problem is if you heavily assert you are right and others are stupid."- PlopPlopPlopsy.
Is it supposed to hurt this much?
"My husband told me that I was a 'baby' about my IUD insertion and insisted that it wasn't painful."
"That my concerns about entrusting a stranger to shove a foreign object into my body were paranoid."
"I listened to him because really, the info you'd find online is overwhelmingly positive."
"Long story short: the provider placed it wrong, didn't check/fix it when I asked her to."
"I spent 4 years in pain that I eventually 'got used to."
"It expelled half way out my cervix, had to get it yanked out at the ER."
"That's when I was told that copper IUDs are notorious for breaking inside the uterus."
"Because it broke inside me."
"The cherry on top?"
"The female gyno with three kids I saw to get the broken piece removed told me that 'cervixes don't really feel pain' and that I didn't really need to remove it."
"Goes without saying, I was in severe pain for 2 weeks straight before this appointment."
"Tons of women came out with their stories about lawsuits over IUDs, how they got pregnant with an IUD."
" Stories similar to mine."
"And how women should really be offered anesthesia or pain pills for this procedure."
"And when my husband was surprised to learn about the pain I endured I reminded him 'You called me a baby and everyone else told me it was all in my head'."
"Which is why I didn't talk about it."- PopK0rnAndMMs.
Seems like you could learn something from me.
"In sixth grade chemistry a teacher asked us what element was a gas that was lighter than air, and extremely flammable/explosive."
"I grew up on science because of what my dad does for a living and Bill Nye."
"I knew about the Hindenburg, and so I was really proud of myself when I raised my hand and said 'Hydrogen'."
"The teacher laughed at me and said that no, it was Helium, and the entire rest of the class proceeded to laugh too."
"Almost three decades later I work in a lab now, and f*ck that teacher I was right."- vanyel_ashke.Season 8 Teacher GIF by FriendsGiphy
The dictionary is your friend.
"I have worked as a translator and a proofreader."
"For one of my translations, it went something like 'and he piqued her interest'."
"My proofreader docked me for an inaccuracy and switched it to 'and he peaked her interest'.”
"I’m still salty."
"I tried to get the agency I was working for to remove this person as a proofreader since I question his/her command of the English language."
"Had a similar problem with the phrase “lynch pin” used metaphorically."
"I stopped working with that agency because it pissed me off so much being 'corrected' incorrectly."- spot_o_tea.spelling GIFGiphy
No, that's just an illusion.
"When I told my mom that the clouds were moving and she laughed like I was crazy."-
Did you even read the menu?
"I was in the passenger's seat at a Carl's Jr Drive Thru with a friend."
"He asked what I wanted and I requested the Fried Zucchini."
"He puts half his body through the window to the voice box and goes on this 'My friend here thinks you have some kind of food I know you don't have so I am just going to say it for laughs because you will get a kick out of this'."
"She wants FRIED ZUCCHINI' and starts laughing."
" Well guess who ends up eating fried zucchini."- User Deleted.
And how do you spell that?
"Believe it or not, the pronunciation of my own middle name."- ThePlantie.
We have standards in this community...
"Not me but my Mom tells a story about how she wrote a paper for school about how tough her small town makes it for any new people moving in."
"Basically if you didn't grow up there you were a social outcast for decades and were excluded from a lot of things."
"The teacher didn't agree so she got a bad grade and scoffed at."
"A few years later a news paper reporter essentially wrote the same thing and won a local award for calling out the same small town BS that was going on."- Jberg18.
It's pretty amazing that anyone in this day and age would jump to tell someone they're wrong without having any authority.
Particularly when someone can quickly look up the truth on their phone in less than a minute.
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