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People Who Stayed With A Cheater Describe The Aftermath

Reddit user Menezeris3029 asked: 'People who have stayed in a relationship after their partner cheated. How was it like after?'

man hugging woman during daytime

Carly Rae Hobbins on Unsplash

There are a lot of sayings about human nature that address bad behavior in a relationship.

One such idiom is "a leopard can't change its spots." Another is "once a cheater, always a cheater."

But is that really accurate?

Can a significant other cheat just once and never again? And even if they can, is the relationship ever truly healed?


Reddit user Menezeris3029 asked:

"People who have stayed in a relationship after their partner cheated. How was it like after?"

Projecting And Gaslighting

"It was super short-lived because of the hardcore projecting."

"Because she cheated, she assumed that I was going to cheat with all my women friends. She became super controlling and didn't want me to have any women friends."

"I ended up leaving because my friendships were more important than a broken relationship."

~ Ookimow

"It's in fact so common that people who baselessly accuse others of cheating are almost always cheating and projecting it on their partner."

"Every time I had been cheated on, this is the trigger that made me realize it was going on in the first place and was easily able to find proof."

"They out themselves."

~ PsionicKitten

"My ex husband tried to get me to go to therapy. And don’t get me wrong, I needed it and should have gone, to get the self-worth to leave his a**."

"But my point was, if you won’t stop cheating on me why waste money on therapy lmao‽‽ It’s like sitting in the ER while someone is stabbing you in the back."

"He swore on everything we had he wasn’t cheating on me again."

"Yeah…..he was the whole time."

~ WillBsGirl

Regrets, I Have A Few

"I really truly believed I would rise from it and forgive him, get over it, and come out of it stronger."

"It was never the same. I lost that trust and I couldn’t get it back. And eventually, I stopped caring to want it back."

"It was a 7 year relationship & although I don’t regret it, I sometimes wish I knew to walk out sooner."

"But it made me realize what I really deserve and it led me to the forever man in my life who treats me so well and loves me and honours our commitment."

~ backandforthlosing

"This got me in my soul!"

"My soon to be ex is not violent, he's grown into a lovely man, just not the one for me after what happened."

"I've just cracked my early 30s so I'm calling this my quarter life crisis and moving on...a lot of those things you have said resonated so much!"

~ Puzzleheaded-Ad-9724

"Reasons for not leaving—Fear, isolation, guilt, not wanting to hurt the person you love most in the world, even though they hurt you. Not wanting to lose them."

"It’s hard to let them go, because you have to let go of a part of yourself too and the life you thought you were building together. It is so hard to accept that it was all just an illusion."

"After some time passes, you try to put what happened at the back of your mind as a survival mechanism, and then your partner assumes that you have forgiven them because you no longer appear to be preoccupied with it."

"Sex also complicates things because some cheaters think that resuming sex equals their partner has moved on and are not upset any longer."

"You keep quiet and bottle up emotions to keep the peace, but at a severe detriment to your mental health and well being."

"This is where I am currently with my relationship. I am just trying to get through one day at a time until I gather enough strength to move forward."

"I too hope to wake up one day and say, 'FUK THIS!' I have known about the infidelity since 2021."

~ lunarmantra

Never The Same

"Happened in 2010, part of a mental breakdown on their side. Stood by and watched my world fall apart with a young child to look after."

"I believe in the vows I took when I got married, especially in sickness & in health. 13 years later, still married, perhaps stronger than ever but it still hurts."

"The pain numbs down over time from a glowing ball the size of the sun to a little pin prick of light but it still burns."

"I’m glad we stayed together, child is now a happy and rounded young lady—enjoying the world and her life ahead of her."

"We are now 26 years together so if any of you are reading this, good can come from bad, life does go on, listen to your heart but don’t ever get mugged off."

~ oldskoolplayaR1

"Caught her in an 'emotional' affair early on in our relationship."

"Both her and him told me it was a mistake and he apologized and told me it was over."

"I believed it all."

"However I will admit that it bubbled up during arguments over other issues because of how betrayed I felt."

"It weighed on me to the point where she told me I needed to see a therapist to get over it. I went to 3 of them over a period of the next 4 years."

"We went as a couple maybe a year after that."

"Flash forward another 2 years…I found the texts and pics."

"It never ended and it only grew. The entire time she told me to get counseling. The entire time we were in counseling together."

"The entire time I worked 2 jobs and 7 days a week because she lost her job and took a year off and I picked up the slack."

"You do not recover."

~ justaguylookinghappy

Tick, Tick, Tick...

"A ticking time bomb."

~ Ratakoa

"Yep. We spent a year trying to recover, then had 2 good years..."

"Then he cheated again... I think in the back of my mind I was just waiting the whole time for it to happen again."

~ naturally_eva

"This! Every single day, this is what's in the back of my mind and yup, waiting for it to happen again and hoping, at the same time, that it won't."

~ ahuh_itzme

"Ex wife was the same. We tried again, but she just had to get back in contact with him… lasted ten months, but only eight before she’d started seeing him again."

"It was a 12 year relationship for us, with most of that married. I don’t think she actually stopped seeing him really, looking back."

"When I started seeing a new girl, my ex wife tried to seduce me! Erm, no."

~ CabinetOk4838

"Shoot, mine never even stopped seeing the other guy. She swore up and down she wanted to stay together and it was all a mistake—so I laid out some very simple rules for moving forward, starting with no more contact with the guy."

"She never stopped."

"To this day I dont know what she was thinking. She just kept on trying to see us both. This was a 10 year marriage with kids, too."

"About a year into the divorce, she straight up moved 500 miles away (by herself), became a drug addict, and her entire life fell apart. Got arrested for felony drug possession etc..."

"Most bizarre complete self destruction I've ever seen in real life."

~ alonjar

If They'll Cheat With You...

"One of my buddies dated a girl once that cheated to be with him. Then after awhile she cheated on him too."

"He was so shocked."

"But I was like, bro, she cheated on someone to get with you. Her cheating on you to get with someone else shouldn’t be a surprise."

~ travworld

The Other Side

"That's not always true. I cheated once. It destroyed the person I love, and it sent me into a 2 year spiral of depression and anxiety that I had to be hospitalized for twice."

"I'll NEVER, EVER make that mistake again. People can learn from their past mistakes."

"That being said, 'once a cheater, always a cheater' is true more often than it isn't - and that's quite sad."

"I just won't be one ever again. Absolutely not worth ANY of it."

~ reflUX_cAtalyst

The decision to stay with someone who has broken your trust is an individual one.

Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like there are many happy endings for couples after one partner cheats.

Movie Twists That Caught Audiences Completely Off-Guard

Reddit user -HornyCorny- asked: 'What’s a movie twist that caught you completely off guard?'

There's nothing like leaving a movie theater having just seen an excellent movie.

Particularly one that took you by surprise.

Perhaps it was deeper and more meaningful than it purported itself to be, or on the flip side, had much more warmth and humor that you would have expected.

Or, the film took an unexpected twist that you never saw coming.

Resulting in your needing to bite your tongue until the rest of your friends and family see the film, and not spoil the surprise for them.

Redditor HornyCorny was curious to hear which plot twists left viewers utterly speechless, leading them to ask:

"What’s a movie twist that caught you completely off guard?"

He Didn't See It Coming Either!

"Brad Pitt in 'Burn After Reading'."

"So surprising and downright freaking hilarious."- thefirehairman

If The Shoe Fits...

"'The Shawshank Redemption'."

"Come on."

"It's not always a man notices another man's shoes."- FUBARspecimenT-89

Lucky For Some, Not For All...

"'Lucky Number Slevin'."

"Huge twist and very satisfying."- kvlr954

angry josh hartnett GIFGiphy

Rosie O'Donnell Would Agree...

"Fight Club."- BuchseeI

"once watched it with a friend who had never even heard of it, and she called the twist like, a half hour in."

"She said it as a joke and didn't realize she was right until the actual reveal, but still I was shook."- yugosaki

I See You Keyser Söze

"The ending of 'The Usual Suspects'."- Schwarzes__Loch

Definitive Shyamalan

''The Sixth Sense'."

'I love movies with plot twists, but I never imagined this one. It caught me completely off guard."- lucasduka

Haley Joel Osment Movie GIFGiphy

The Title Is Also Misleading...

"The second half of 'Parasite'."- iwontrememberthat4

Appropriately, They Really Toyed With Your Cognition

"'The Game'."- DudeHeadAwesome

"Good one!'

"I spent the entire movie going 'is it a game? Is it real?'"- fastpixels

There Were Definitely Ghosts...

"'The Others'."

"Unsuspected end."- NeckComprehensive743

scared horror film GIF by FilmStruckGiphy

One Unforgettable Opening Scene

"'Scream'."

"The Drew Barrymore role."- LivingTheLife53

The Real Reason Everyone Is Terrified Of Bees...

"When I was a kid, I wanted to feel good and happy."

"So at the video store, I decided to rent a movie with two happy laughing kids on the DVD cover, thinking it would be a feel-good playful story."

"That movie was 'My Girl'."

"Eff that movie."

"Seriously."

'The DVD cover lies."

"IT LIES."- buckyhermit

You THOUGHT you knew who the villains were...

"'From Dusk to Dawn' — midway point."

"Didn’t know at all what I was walking into when saw it in the theatre decades ago — just, you know, Salma Hayek. Good enough."

"Quentin Tarantino slurping tequila from her foot after it ran down the entire length of her leg — that was already a 'Holy WTF' moment."

"But then, well.. . you know."

"And if you don’t know — quick, go watch it. "

"No trailer, no synopsis, no summary."

"Find it and load it 'blind' and fasten your seatbelt."

"You’re in for a wild ride."- canada11235813

George Clooney Tarantino GIF by MIRAMAXGiphy

It's Title Is More Than Accurate!

"'Crazy Stupid Love'."

"The scene when the whole movie goes apesh*t in the yard is one of my all time favorite movie scenes."- Fimbulvintern

Trifecta Of Twists

"'The Others'."

"The end of 'The Mist'."

"'The Prestige' (though, I ALMOST had it figured out, but not quite)."- Krinks1

There's nothing better than when a movie surprises you.

Even if it does make talking about said movie with people who haven't seen it a bit more challenging.

Case in point, people who saw The Sixth Sense and The Usual Suspects after their endings were spoiled for them, don't seem to like those movies as much as those who went in blind.


Every family has its secrets.

It's up to every new generation to unearth it all.

Don't we all want to know if we're related to famous people?

Or what if we have a familial stake in lands and businesses?

Also, this is a good way to NOT end up dating blood relatives.

The more you know, the less awkward later.

As much as there is a lot of trauma there could be a lot of cool facts to to discuss at parties.

Redditor ForthrightPedant wanted to hear some interesting family histories, so they asked:

"What is a historical fact about your family that you think is kinda neat?"

I don't have any family history.

Of course I've done no investigating.

Maybe I do.

I should look!

Super Talent

Excited Happy Hour GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy

"Great-grandpa created the Flintstones. Dan Gordon. Drew lots of Hannah-Barbara cartoons, and directed the first three animated Superman films at the beginning of WW2 as well as several seasons of Popeye, Scooby Doo, Smurfs, Yogi Bear, Huckleberry Hound."

downnoutsavant

Bad Voyage

"My grandfather disliked America and wanted to return to Ireland. He booked passage on the Titanic’s return voyage. If it wouldn’t have sunk, no of us would be here."

mrseddievedder

"My great-grandmother was a Titanic survivor. She was a steerage-class Lebanese immigrant in an arranged marriage. Her husband went down with the ship but she managed to make it to a lifeboat and made it to the Carpathia. Then she remarried in a Lebanese neighborhood in Virginia. Had it not been for the iceberg that struck and sank the Titanic My family lineage would be different and I wouldn't be here. My family's official toast is 'to the iceberg.'"

jaspersurfer

Forgotten

"My husband's grandfather was one of the 'forgotten soldiers' in Canada. He was a Canadian-born Chinese man who asked the Canadian government to fight for his right to vote and a passport. Even tho he was born in Canada in the 20’s since he was Chinese he was not considered Canadian."

H"e was dropped into the Burma jungle and was told he would likely never return. He was in the 10% that did return. He was given the right to vote, to a passport, and to University."

"His wife is still alive today and my son is named after him."

cowskeeper

​Can you imagine?

"My great-grandmother had 13 kids, so she was pregnant for literally a decade. There’s two hundred of us now, all because of this one woman."

CoverlessSkink

"My great grandma had 14 kids. My grandma was the youngest. She died giving birth to my grandma. The oldest child who was like 22 years old raised my grandma. My great-grandfather remarried a woman who had 10 kids of her own. My grandma would tell me stories of them all living together. Can u imagine? 😦."

Content_Pool_1391

Long Ago

american wtf GIF by unimpressionismGiphy

"The land my dad was raised on and my cousins still live on was deeded to the family by George Washington as compensation for service during the Revolution. There was a document with his signature on it at the courthouse until a fire destroyed the records a few decades ago."

mustbethedragon

So much land and fortune and HISTORY has been lost due to fire.

Thank God we keep more than paper records now.

Over the Moon

Michael Jackson Dancing GIFGiphy

"My second cousin is David Scott who walked on the Moon and drove the moon buggy. My mom does. He was so busy during the time when I was young that he even said later in life that he wished she’d gotten to know more of his family."

Roadgoddess

The Union

"Great-great-great grandfather on my mom's side was working his field in the part of Virginia that split off and became a new state because they didn't want to secede from The Union. Union soldiers came along looking for conscripts and he was a young, able-bodied man so they told him to come with them. He informed them he was a Quaker and thus a pacifist. According to family lore, that discussion went on for a bit but he would not give in. So they shot him and left him there. Good thing he had a couple of kids well before that day."

SpottyNoonerism

Opportiunities

"My great-grandfather was offered a chance to invest in a new invention by a guy by the name of Alexander Graham Bell. He declined, saying at most there would be one telephone per town."

Carson4307

"That is apparently my family too."

"One uncle apparently built a version of a hot water heater and then sold the design to GE for a good sum back then."

"Another uncle was asked if he wanted to be in a photo during his military service. He said no so they raised the flag on Iwo Jima without him in it."

"No idea if any of these are true, at best they are enhanced truths, but for me, I really hope they are true."

Jormungand1342

Underground

"I have a relative who worked for the Underground Railroad and had a price on her head in the South."

dahlia6767

"My uncle was a carpenter. And was doing restoration work on old houses in Yellow Springs, Ohio. Many of those old, historical homes had underground railroad passageways and hidden walls. He got to see and restore many of them. He had photos of some of the work he was doing and I got to see those as a kid. Living in Southern Ohio, we have a lot of rich underground railroad history here."

AddictiveArtistry

​Family Empire

blood discussion GIFGiphy

"My great-grandfather was the town police chief in the 1920s. His brother was the Mayor. Their cousins ran the casino."

"My family was a smaller version of Boardwalk Empire."

nowhereman136

Wouldn't we all love a show based on our families?

Then that's even more neat family history.

Rolls Royce hood ornament
Matheus Bardemaker on Unsplash

The super wealthy aren't like most people.

How can they be?

They live in a world of rarefied air most people will never even glimpse.

That privilege inevitably warps perspectives.

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Burger and fries on plate
Photo by Haseeb Jamil on Unsplash

A lot of things have gone downhill since the pandemic, and it's made the whole process of bouncing back from those two to three years that much harder.

One thing we can all agree on is the quality of the food that we now find in restaurants, especially the fast-food joints we used to frequent and hit the drive-thru for on the drive home.

Curious what other people thought, Redditor Soy_tu_papi asked:

"What's the worst fast food restaurant?"

Eat... Expensive, Not Fresh

"Subway. The ingredients don't taste fresh. They don't give you enough meat or cheese. The bread tastes sweet. It's not even that cheap anymore."

- Brilliant-Mango-4

There for the Nostalgia

"Tim Hortons. We’re nostalgic for a time when they made fresh donuts and great soup and sandwiches. But that was more than 20 years ago and now everything is just heated from frozen garbage with garbage dish water coffee."

"The only reason they’re around is nostalgia and convenience. Americans for the most part didn’t fall for their crap when they expanded south because they didn’t have one on every corner, and they don’t have the nostalgia, and they already have a s**tty coffee and donut place called Dunkin."

- Strain128

Microwaved Soup

"Really, we all going to pretend like Panera is not fast food?"

- WelderNo6075

"It’s not fast. It's always a 20-minute wait."

- Greedy-Time-3637

"For microwaved soup."

- InsertBlueScreenHere

Hospital Food. Gourmet Prices

"Panera. For when you want hospital food, but you can’t afford the $127,209.00 hospital bill."

- BarnacleMcBarndoor

"Yeah, it’s only $126,208 for Panera."

- sherlock----75

"There is a similar yet worse than Panera hospital food restaurant called Atlanta Bread Company. How these two hell holes stay in business, I have no idea."

- GrandUnhappy9211

New Horizons

"I think KFC abandoned the American market and put all its resources into the Asian market, because omg KFC in Korea is something else. The chicken is breaded perfectly, with no mouth-destroying rock-hard breading and the ratio of breading to actual chicken meat is perfectly balanced."

"Also, the sauce selection; they have so many good sauces. The fries were great too."

- LolitasDaniel

RIP, Potato Wedges

"In my opinion, KFC. They got rid of their beloved potato wedges. The only thing I got there anymore was those and the mashed potatoes."

- dirtymoney

"Wendy’s breakfast potatoes almost fill that hole in my heart."

- Karsa69246

Those Darn Screens

"Any of them that have replaced their menu boards with TV screens that change every 15 seconds so I can't find the price of anything."

- xkulp8

"I hate the TVs. Maybe I'm just a bitter old guy, but they really don't seem to be an improvement. There's just too much going on, and it's too bright. Sure, it's probably more convenient for menu/price changes. But when you add in the cost and electronic waste, it doesn't feel like a net gain."

- BumpyMcBumps

No Longer Affordable

"McDonald’s. They’ve forgotten their role as the place I eat at because I’m broke, probably drunk, and want to fill up for a few bucks. Have you seen their prices lately!?"

- Jlace001

"A quarter pounder meal is over $10. $4 More bucks and you can get a chills old-timer and fries. And they always park you, so not very 'fast,' unless you are talking about the stomach cramps you get after."

- Eric12345678

Define 'Pizza'

"Little Caesars Hot-N-Ready is for when your manager promises you a pizza party when you exceed your sales goal and buys enough for one piece a person, but he's been talking up this party he's going to throw for you all week, so you come in on your day off and see two Hot-N-Ready boxes sitting there and some Dixie cups for water. Sometimes nothing is better, STEVE."

- cold08

"The secret technique for Lil Caesars is to give it another few minutes in the oven/under the broiler at home until it's to your liking."

- KaRabbit

The Great Pizza of the Past

"It hurts me to say this, but Pizza Hut."

"Back in the 80s and early 90s, Pizza Hut was amazing! It's somehow worse than Dominos now. It's a f**king travesty."

- Ocku2

"Their marinara sauce with breadsticks is watery now..."

"My friend and I used to ride our bikes there and play Pac-Man in eighth grade. Their breadsticks and sauce were amazing."

- KkdBaby

Small and Stale

"Whataburger is very hit or miss depending on the individual location. It was also better before it sold out and went national."

- HoovesCarveCrater

"It used to be so good, but it's so bad now. Earlier in the year, I went, and I got a stale bun with a tiny piece of meat they called a hamburger. Then I stupidly went again months later, and got the chicken sandwich. Both the bread and chicken were somehow stale. Never again, it's not worth it."

- user_base56

Belly Bombers, Indeed

"White Castle. I ate there once, and I now know what it feels like to reject an organ."

- flyzapper

"I have a stomach of steel when it comes to fast food. Not even Taco Bell gives me an above-average s**t. But when it comes to White Castle, some things just can't be saved."

- STILETTO_exists

A Rise in Poor Management

"Sonic used to be good."

"I feel for the two workers running the whole place. There used to be a lot of staff to handle the load."

"But now I feel bad going there simply because it's unfair to the workers. Which means corners get cut, things aren't clean, people aren't happy and workers end up catching the blame because there aren't enough of them."

"They really need to get it together. And treat their customers and employees right. It's going to kill their business."

- That_90s_Kid_

"The only Sonic near me stopped serving onion rings, which to me is their best side. And they take for-f**king-ever now to get you food, and half the time it's wrong or half-a**ed. I used to love Sonic, and I still want to and will go there, but every time it's a let-down in some form."

- SweetCosmicPope

"Sonic used to give their managers minority ownership as part of their compensation package. The result was highly motivated managers. Unfortunately, they had to work 80 to 90 hours a week. I thought about getting onboard with them but after using two weeks of vacation from my current job to work there, unpaid, I quickly decided smelling like French fries 24 hours a day, seven days a week was a very bad idea."

- the_beeve

A Series of Failures

"A bad KFC is tough to top, but there are still some amazing ones out there. The key is that it’s busy enough to have fresh chicken and a few employees that aren’t strung out. Not all. Just some."

"Burger King increasingly tastes like the burgers from my elementary school that sat in that weird burger water after being boiled in its own juices. I like their nuggets though."

"What even is Jack in the Box? It’s just some random assortment of food you take kids who can’t agree on what hot garbage they want to eat so you go here and make everyone unhappy."

"I’ve been to Whataburger once and it was bad, but since it’s crazy popular, I assume maybe it was just a bad experience and it was in AZ vs TX."

"I feel like I’m left with Little Caesars at this point, as the person buying those godawful hot and ready things is the epitome of a desperate person just trying to fill their children’s with ‘pizza’, thus the reason why there are any in existence."

- bowindine

So Real for This Answer

"Basically, every single one since the pandemic."

- MythicalMango123

"Dine-in prices for dollar store flavors."

- WannaBeTraveler87

"This is the answer. They are all awful now."

- chris1out

Especially for those of us who had the pleasure of experiencing these food places in the 80s, 90s, and maybe the very earls 2000s, it's terrible to think of how much these places have declined now.

As some Redditors have said, it's almost not worth going to these places anymore. We'd rather preserve the happy memories of going there with our families and friends rather than go for an unhappy meal now.