Regretful People Share Their Cringeworthy First Relationship Story[rebelmouse-image 18359292 is_animated_gif=
Life is built on firsts. We ALL have a first love. A first kiss, a first time. And it's that first romance that will influence and shape our love lives (hell... our lives) forever, in good ways bad ways and everything in between. We learn what we like and what we don't like from that first time; or that first time sets a pattern that make many therapists very rich. The first relationship we have, no matter the age leaves us marked for life. But there is ALWAYS an interesting tale to go with it.
Redditor mrscoot wanted people to commiserate on love by asking... What was the cringiest thing you did in your first relationship?
NEVER WITH EYES OPEN!"
Ugh. Me and my first boyfriend (being around 13 yes old) had no idea how to kiss. Our first "makeout" consisted of us just licking each other's tongues with our eyes wide open STARING at each other. We did this in public. i will never forget the day an upperclassman laughed at us and said "DUDE, CLOSE YOUR EYES!"
NOBODY "LIKES" YOU...[rebelmouse-image 18349995 is_animated_gif=
After 2 months I decided it was more than "like" but not "love" so I told her I "loke'd" her.
She broke up with me two weeks later.
MOLLY... YOU IN DANGER GIRL!![rebelmouse-image 18359293 is_animated_gif=
He didn't actually break up with me, he just ghosted me. I didn't want to admit it, so I was like "yeah we're still dating, I just haven't heard from him in like, a month." (I was 16).
Ooh this one hurts, same thing happened to me and I believed we were just too busy for talking until I saw a pic of him and his new girlfriend. Whoops.
Oh God. With me, he would go straight up silent for a month. He would reply to one thing I sent (I sent a LOT of messages....) then ghost for another month. Turns out he was trying to _"send me a message" that he wasn't interested anymore, but I'm autistic and have no idea what your intent is until you outright say it. This lasted for half a year until he wanted to _"take a break" and then never spoke to me again! Too bad I didn't get THAT message either and held on for another half a year.
EWWW...[rebelmouse-image 18348619 is_animated_gif=
Ate river grass straight from the water on a canoe ride because I thought he'd be impressed.. somehow..
I die inside thinking about it now, his mother was there.
OH LORD HELP HIS SOUL![rebelmouse-image 18348506 is_animated_gif=
Let him go swimming with his ex and her family. He invited me but I can tell he didn't want me to come. I was fresh 18 and he was my first boyfriend so I didn't stand up for myself. Cut to a few weeks later.. I come home (yes, we were living together) and his ex is in our bed. He swears she was on the couch when he left. It was a long shift so I told him to just wake her up and have her move to the couch. She left in an angry tear filled rage. I stayed with him when he admitted he got a hotel with her (he said it was before me but I think he was lying) and had sex with her then threw the key card at her and left because he needed to have sex with her one last time. He said it was to make sure he was over her, but to also punish her for cheating on him. Man, that whole relationship was cringe. I was so naive.
NO SOCIAL MEDIA...[rebelmouse-image 18344992 is_animated_gif=
The way we talked on Facebook. My God every now and then I get a memory on Facebook and want to gag. Plus talk about marriage and kids and stuff, I was 15.
GIVE ME MY STUFF BACK!![rebelmouse-image 18978425 is_animated_gif=
Gave a girl a CD with a single song on it. Falling for You by Student Rick and a long note describing how the music expressed my feelings. Did not label the CD.
Also happened to burn a Bad Religion CD the same night. Did not label this CD either. Got mad at girl when she told me she only got to listen to the first half of the CD. "What the hell! There was only one track. She didn't even listen to it!" Guess what I heard when I put in my Bad Religion CD?
CAN YOU READ?[rebelmouse-image 18979798 is_animated_gif=
I once tried to win the heart of my then ex girlfriend back and I just needed to tell someone this.
So after returning home after spending a summer in the US I decided I would rekindle the relationship between me and my then girlfriend of three years. In my hormone, loved up like state I ended up deciding it would be best if I were to take a taxi 45 minutes to her house and try to recreate that scene from Love Actually when he is playing music outside her house whilst holding signs up for her to read.
I held up the signs signaling for three options 1. hug 2. kiss 3. ignore. After having her sympathy hug, I said one last goodbye to her family's dog and she drove me home. I still cringe about this all the time, I just take every cringe situation as a lesson learned I guess.
IF IT'S THAT GOOD![rebelmouse-image 18979799 is_animated_gif=
Drew a tiny love heart in my diary every time we had sex.
How many hearts total?
I mean we broke up 8 years ago but I think around 150.
GET A ROOM... WHEN YOUR LEGAL...[rebelmouse-image 18979800 is_animated_gif=
Made out with her at a softball game in front of her parents. Just what every parent wants to see, their daughter frenching a chubby emo kid. I was a cringey 14 year old
UM... WHAT?[rebelmouse-image 18359252 is_animated_gif=
Created a shared MySpace account where we posted how in love we were. Also I saved every wrapper from the condom we used.
STAY IN THE PRESENT..[rebelmouse-image 18979801 is_animated_gif=
Me getting mad about her sexual past. I ruined the relationship with the most amazing woman just cause I couldn't handle that she liked people before me. I cringe when i think about it now, cause now I have had a fair amount of partners and think the complete opposite now.
DUDE! REALLY?[rebelmouse-image 18979802 is_animated_gif=
Broke up with her by sending her the lyrics to _"All I do is win" _before blocking her on Mxit ( chat app) Then high fiving my bros - I was 15!
I HATE THAT SONG![rebelmouse-image 18979803 is_animated_gif=
I played pop goes the weasel on the piano over the phone. A three page version of it. He broke up with me through a friend a week later.
SHOULD'VE WENT TO WENDY'S...[rebelmouse-image 18979804 is_animated_gif=
Jealousy. Oh boyy the jealousy and amount of it.
Most regrettable and cringy thing I did was after our breakup where we decided to stay friends and even had a laugh at a Mcdonald's before she went home to her place and i was going to mine. Fast forward 10 minutes and I was taking the bus over to her place, listening to sad songs on the way and thinking I'd _"win her heart back" _by confronting her outside her house
Still makes me cringe. Glad I matured from that.
PURR KITTY...[rebelmouse-image 18979805 is_animated_gif=
Used to meow at him to get his attention. Why did people let me go outside, let alone date???
BRITNEY SAID IT... YOU'RE "TOXIC!"[rebelmouse-image 18979806 is_animated_gif=
I was 17/18 at the time and that prefect mix of insecure and jealous.. I used to freak out if I ever thought he was looking at porn/other girls. The worst was when i found a panty-shot in one of his mangas. My ridiculous tantrum was so bad he threw out his entire manga collection (which was large and something he really loved). I still feel bad about it to this day.
Eventually I realized how toxic that kind of behavior is.. for a relationship and just in general.
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!![rebelmouse-image 18979807 is_animated_gif=
I got so mad at my first boyfriend when I saw pictures from a party where he was theater kissing (when you hold your thumb between each other's mouths but it looks like you're really kissing) another guy as a goofball joke. I knew he wasn't really kissing him but I freaked out anyways because I thought people would think he was gay and think he no longer loved me. I remember calling him and sobbing over it. It was full blown psycho.
COOL IS SUBJECTIVE...[rebelmouse-image 18979808 is_animated_gif=
I got to use Han Solo's line. I once held out my hand to her, and she said "My hands are dirty," _and without skipping a beat, I said _"My hands are dirty too, what are you afraid of?"
I thought I was cool. I was not.
HIGH SCHOOL? SOUNDS LIKE A 5 YEAR OLD...[rebelmouse-image 18979809 is_animated_gif=
This was during my first year of high school, so my first real "high school girlfriend." I was at her house and we were cuddling, which was all we had done at this point, and I tell her to say truck, she does. I proceed to grab her boobs and say honk honk while I squeeze. I still cringe at that one at night
We're all adults who are totally mature and don't, at all, giggle a little bit on the inside when someone talks about what conditions are like on Uranus.
Yeah just kidding, that's hilarious.
Uranus is our favorite heavenly body.
Reddit user rsideoson asked:
"What is a word that sounds inappropriate?"
Don't worry, Reddit is absolutely no more mature than we are and we all deserve a childish giggle every now and then.
"Uvula (dangly bit in your throat)"
"Ooohhh, so it's a girl house"
" 'All god's children got a uvula!'."
"In Swedish it is called gomspene whick translates to pallet teet."
"That little dangly thing that’s hanging in the back of their throat?"
- Admirable-Door1724Snl Season 47 GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
A What Hole ?
"Our city has had several instances of exploding manholes in the downtown area. My friends never let an opportunity to make such comments pass them by. (And I love them for it!)"
"Played some drawing game once where you'd draw the word u get by the game and others would try guess it...my friend got that word and drew a .. manhole..like.. a literal manhole not the actual one, and that was when i learned that word lol"
Chew Works Too
"Especially at the dinner table.."
"Those mukbangers masticate all over the place"
"This is the winner."
"Do you oppose public mastication?"
- Cy41995Hot Dog Eating GIF by NBAGiphy
Lets Just Not Use It Anymore
"This is not a fun or funny example, but, 'niggardly'."
"Etymologically, it has absolutely nothing to do with that other word. They have totally different origins, and sound/look similar purely as a matter of coincidence."
"But it's just not worth the explanation when "stingy" or 'miserly" work just as well, so it's basically a dead word."
"Even the Reverend Jesse Jackson defended the use of this word."
"Also, TIL he's still alive."
"I remember being a preteen and stepdad using this word. I was horrified. He was mildly racist so I wasn’t too surprised but we were in public. 'Dad!!!! There’s a black woman right there!!!'."
"He explained what it meant but I sure never ever used that word."
"Yeah this word is gone forever. There is no way of tossing that out in casual conversation ever again, and even if you did you'd have to spend a good few minutes defending what you meant and looking it up to prove it."
Playing Around With Speed
"It's a running term and as a grown man I still giggle when I hear it."
"Wait is that how it’s spelled? I always thought it was Fartlick lol"
"You guys use that? It's Norwegian, meaning speed game."
"Fartlek’s were misery in high school XC. Always just called it a fart lick"
- silverhammer96Safari Park Running GIF by San Diego ZooGiphy
Fortunella Sounds Fancier
"Got banned from a forum for calling someone a kumquat. No regrets."
"The restaurant I worked at had a kumquat margarita and for a good 2 weeks the menu accidentally had cumquat, but each time the manager tried to fix it they’d accidentally print the wrong on again and there’d be too many copies to just throw out."
"That's a good one"
The 'L' Is Important
"This may only be true in American English...in other accents it's much less suggestive"
"Don't wanna wait forever for that caulk to harden"
"I used to work for a construction company doing purchasing and apparently in the winter caulk gets cold and refuses to work so you need to put your caulk in a caulk warmer"
"My brother insists on over enunciating the L so it sounds like. Cow-LK"
- jawshoeawhomer simpson GIFGiphy
You Sure About This One?
"Jiggers, also known as the chigoe flea. Similarly, chiggers, also known as berry bugs."
"Jigger is also the little double-ended cup bartenders use for measuring alcohol for cocktails."
"I was looking for these two."
" 'Jigger' is used every day by Australian surveyors. It’s what we call our theodolites or Total Stations. Short for thingamajigger perhaps. If my mate’s jigger wasn’t cooperating, he’d say 'jigger please'.”
"What’s my motherf*cking name?"
So Many Botanical Puns
"One summer day at a barbecue at my mum in laws, she walked outside and announced “wait til you see the size of the flower on my clematis” I snort inhaled my wine"
"I think they can cure that with a penicillin shot/s"
"Another botanical word that makes me giggle:"
"Scabiosa. Or, as the Brits would say, scabious."
This Is Another One We Should Maybe Not Use
"Negus. It means a hot drink of port, sugar, lemon, and spices, and it's a royal title."
"Can you use it in a sentence?"
"Doesn't it also refer to an Ethiopian king?"
"Negan in Roman times."
" 'I am Negus! Thou shalt provide me with copious produce!'."
You heard (and laughed at) Reddits appropriately inappropriate words, now it's your turn to get in on the fun.
As much as people try to put on a good face in public, many of them have idiosyncratic behavior–like involuntary foot-tapping–they are ashamed of having.
Some folks, however, are not as self-aware.
These individuals could care less about other people and they act like the world is their nasty, unkempt, malodorous, living room.
Curious to hear examples of gross behavior, Redditor Dazzling_Age_4795 asked:
"What's the most disgusting bad habit?"
No one wants to see it, yet, here we are.
"Taking a dump and then not flushing in public toilets."
"I work in reception in a dental office, our Covid protocols included having wipe down the bathroom after each person. The amount of pee I’ve had to wipe off the seat and floor is absolutely disgusting. People are pigs- wipe the damn seat if your aim is that awful!!! They knew too, the intense stare down I gave them when exiting the bathroom, oh they knew."
Lazy Pet Owners
"Dog poop ( living in holland ) drives me crazy how much is just lying around. Disguisting habit for dog owners to just not care to clean it up. Which is in fact mandatory but hey... if no one sees it, its not a crime."
"People who don’t pick up their dog’s poop don’t deserve to have a dog. I also hate seeing bags of dog sh*t left on the ground. Like why bag it and just leave it there? It’s actually better for the environment if you don’t put it in the bag, lazy."
The Gross Collection
"Keeping your booger wall in plain sight where guests can see it."
"I once saw a person picking their ear and eating the wax. That sh*ts even worse then picking and eating out of your nose."
Those without any concept of having respect for their environment are very telling of the type of person they are.
Trashing The Place
"Those folk who buy cigarettes and casually walk around unwrapping and dropping plastic as they go... God I hate those guys."
Driving Smokers Suck
"People smoking while driving seem to almost always throw their cigarette butt out the window without a care in the world."
And those who don't have any respect for others in public got majorly slammed.
"Not sure if it's a 'habit', per se, but those people that have their phones on speaker ALL THE WAY UP casually talking on the train, in the grocery store, and in restaurants. I do not want to hear about your mother's bunion."
"Dude for real. I go to the library every once in a while for some quiet time.. the number of people who talk on their phone is ridiculous. Half the time if you go up to them and ask if they could be quieter or take it to the lobby they act like you're the rude one."
Clogging The Shower
"Taking a sh*t in the shower and pushing it into the drain... I knew people who did that, safe to say I don't anymore."
A Crappy Confession
"I’ve got to be honest, I farted once and a nugget, maybe the size of a pickled onion, fell out whilst I was taking a shower. As the particular bathroom I was in had the toilet in a separate room I decided the safest option for me was to squish the turd into the drain with my foot."
"I’m not proud but sometimes it has to be done."
"For clarity, I do not condone purposely dropping a full sh*t in the shower."
– User Deleted
Germy COVID Hands
"Not washing hands after using the bathroom, especially in public. Like at a restaurant."
Look, I know we all have our quirks, but I'm just not a nail-chewing and booger-flicking stan.
It's not like people with these habits are deliberately trying to inconvenience my life. But...they are.
I don't need to be stepping on nail remnants and dried-up balls of nose mucus with my barefeet.
So, what gross habits and/or behavior really gets your blood boiling?
People have different levels of tolerance when it comes to profanity.
And some people can't stand the sound of rude or vulgar language so much that they can't bring themselves to say these naughty words themselves.
But when anyone reaches a high level of anger or frustration, they still might need a verbal outlet.
And instead find themselves coming up with an alternative word, which helps them release their anger, but won't offend any nearby ears.
Redditor No-Citron5628 was curious to hear people's favorite alternatives to curse words, leading them to ask:
"What is your best swear word alternative?"
"Oh neptune."- StrappinYoungZiltoid
The last thing you want to find in your bed!
Instead of rude, be educational!
"I said this instead of… other words once when I tripped and accidentally taught this to my nephew."
"Now my sister sends me videos of my nephew saying it when things don’t go his way."- YellowForest4Warning GIFGiphy
Think of the children!
"Not sure of an actual word, but my bf and I have been trying to limit cursing since my toddler is becoming very verbal."
"He’s resorted to making very angry yelling caveman sounds when he wants to curse someone out rather than using the actual words."- Present-Lime-1244
"I like, 'slug in a ditch'."- spiked_macaroonslug GIFGiphy
We can always learn a thing or two from the kids...
"A child in my class tries to swear but unintentionally says foot instead of f*ck."
"It's probably my favorite alternative."
"Wow, didn't expect this to get so much attention."
"Thank you for the award! "
"For those asking, he is a very tiny child with a deep yorkshire accent who actually picked up the word from another child but hasn't noticed he doesn't have the pronunciation quite right yet."
"Context wise though he's bang on which makes it even funnier."- sophishx
Just one word won't do!
"DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET, LARRY?!"
"DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU FIND A STRANGER IN THE ALPS?!"- KevinBillyStinkwater
Be mindful, it could backfire
"When my son was little he started saying bastard so I kept saying custard."
"Until the day he complained that we were having bananas and bastard again."- CheeryShortarseDoctor Who Snack GIF by BBC AmericaGiphy
Mother knows best.
"My mother always said, 'Curses!'"
"We, the kids, laugh about it all the time."- tenzip10-0
If you feel like you've sufficiently got your anger or frustration out of your system, your choice of words served their purpose.
Whether or not they would have to be bleeped out on network TV.
When we think of iconic movie quotes, there are several which come instantly to mind.
"Here's looking at you, kid."
"Love is never having to say you're sorry."
"I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse."
Appropriately, the ones that might haunt us the most, are those delivered by villains, who linger in our memories not only by their creepy attire and presence but by their devious choice of words.
Frightening us long after the credits stop rolling.
Redditor N_the_character was eager to hear what the Reddit community considered the best quotes from both Hollywood's legendary villains, as well as some lesser-known antagonists from film, TV, and video games, leading them to ask:
"What's the most bada** villain quote?"
Benedict from Last Action Hero
"Benedict to youg Danny in 'Last Action Hero':"
"I should tell you that I have killed people smarter and younger than you."- S-Marktlast action hero art GIF by xponentialdesignGiphy
"Pirates are evil?"
"The Marines are righteous?"
"These terms have always changed throughout the course of history!"
"Kids who have never seen peace and kids who have never seen war have different values!"
"Those who stand at the top determine what's wrong and what's right!"
"This very place is neutral ground!"
"Justice will prevail, you say?"
"But of course it will!"
"Whoever wins this war becomes justice!"- TimeisaLie
The Man with the Midas Touch...
"Goldfinger after Bond says 'Do you expect me to talk?'
"'No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die'."- Hunk_StudlyInterrupting GIF by James Bond 007Giphy
The Last Airbender's Azula
"Dai Li: 'You've beaten me at my own game'."
"Azula: 'Don't flatter yourself. You were never even a player'."- herculesmeowlligan
Inigo Montoya, watch out!
"'Good Heavens, are you still trying to win?'"
"-the six fingered man."
Video game villains shouldn't be forgotten, ask Ghaul
“'You are not brave, you’ve merely forgotten the fear of death'."
"'Allow me to reacquaint you'.”- KentuckyBourbon94
The Good, the Bad, and the one-liners
"'When you have to shoot, shoot'."
"Tuco, 'The Good, The Bad and The Ugly'."- jpablo680
Whiterose of Mr. Robot
“'Because Phillip, I had to ask you twice'.”- Lontano64
The final frontier indeed...
"'A true victory is to make your enemy see they were wrong to oppose you in the first place'."
"'To force them to acknowledge your greatness'."
"Gul Dukat, Deep Space Nine."- hamdingersDeep Space Nine Dislike GIF by Star TrekGiphy
A true villain will have you quaking in your boots with just one look.
But it's with their words that they really get you.
And how they instantly go from being merely villains, to legends.