Helena Lopes / Pexels

Everybody knows friends are one of the best things in life - but what happens when the best thing is also the worst?


You know what we mean, most of us have had (or been) a frienemy once or twice in our lives. For a lot of us, that toxic friend relationship was something we didn't even know we were in.


Reddit user @DisruptiveandMissed asked:

What are some red flags of a bad friendship?

We're not saying it was a popular question, but it's got almost 40 thousand people watching, liking and commenting on it. So yeah, it's safe to say folks have a lot to say about craptastical friends.

The Drain

Every time you're finished hanging out you feel worse than you did before, that's a sign of a bad friend.

- LivLoft

Or if you consistently put off replying to them, not out of spite or anything but just because you don't have the energy for them. they're draining you.

obviously not black and white (some people are just the type that require a lot of energy because they have a lot themselves), but recognizing this has saved me from a LOT of unhappy or even toxic friendships.

- Maximumovarize

Eggshells

Walking on eggshells. Constantly worrying if what you say is going to make them mad. When they can lean on you whenever they need you but you can't lean on them.

- Toporbottomquark

Dismissive

Being dismissive of all your interests and achievements. Meanwhile everything they do, no matter how mundane, is amazing.

- Wild0ats

Or the flip side of the same coin. Being dismissive of all your problems or struggles. Meanwhile everything that happens to them, no matter how mundane, is a tragedy.

- Griffinwalsh

This Time...

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You see you got a private message from them and your gut reaction is to start getting nervous or anxious.

"What is it this time..."

- DiscordDraconequus

I recently had a friend that texted "Check your email" and my first thought was "Oh god, what now?" I realized that if another else text, my first thought would be they forwarded me a coupon or an article, something I'd be interested in.

That red flag is real.

- DramaBrat

New Friend 

They act just fine whenever they invite you over, and then as soon as someone else comes into the picture, their whole attitude changes. They begin treating you with disrespect, just to try and act cool in front of their new friend.

- Lionheart395

Or you're the new friend and you get treated like shit because you haven't known anyone you can't possibly understand the inside jokes, but no offence right?

- Tinytinasrabidotter

Me, Myself and I

Flaking on engagements with you, and only talking about themselves without asking about how you are doing.

- Jack_The_Lion

A friend of mine did the second, and when I told her this and that it didn't feel like a two way friendship, she started making sure to always ask how I was. Only, that's all it is. I could say literally anything in answer and get nothing back but how she's doing. So she fixed her words but nothing else, it feels like.

- Jenamac

Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better (Or Worse) 

When they've always got to one-up someone. You had a bad day? Theirs was worse. Your commute was crappy? Theirs was worse. You got a promotion at work? Well, something even better happened to them at their job that day! And on and on...

- Flyerflew

Freeloaders

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Friend: Hey you wanna come with us to McDonald's

You: Yea sure why why not

at McDonald's

Friend: Hey man I got no money on me, mind if you get me some food? I'll pay you back

You: Uhh yea um I gotchu

one week later

Friend: Hey you wanna come with us to McDonald's

You: Yea sure why why not

at McDonald's

Friend: Hey man I got no money on me, mind if you get me some food? I'll pay you back

You: Uhh yea um I gotchu but you didn't pay me back last time

Friend: don't worry I'll pay you back double

You: Alright

fast forward a year later

Friend: Hey you wanna come with us to McDonald's

You: Yea sure why why not

at McDonald's

Friend: Hey man I got no money on me, mind if you get me some food? I'll pay you back

You: THIS IS BIG MAC #30. PAY ME MY $176.46 CENTS.

Stay away from freeloaders guys.

- CEOofWakanda

Cling

Very, very clingy. can't accept that you aren't best friends after knowing each other for two weeks.

- Johnny_youtubes

I had a girl at work decide I was her work bestie and told me a story involving her blowing a stripper over the previous weekend.... on the first night we ever worked together.

By the second shift I was getting stories of recent suicide attempts and I'm trying to sidle out of the room as naturally as possible.

- CX316

I had to untangle myself from a "friendship" like this nearly two years ago. I was being tagged in best friend Word Porn shit on Facebook every other day after like a month of meeting her, and she would text me almost constantly, either to talk about some drama or to ask a favor of me. I knew she had personal problems and I felt terrible for the feeling of dread I got whenever I received a message from her, but she was exhausting and a huge drain on my emotional reserves.

When my mum was diagnosed with cancer, I told her that I needed her to stop messaging me, as I was trying to process the news and be there for my mum at the same time. She disrespected my wishes, and I blocked her for a few months until she managed to wriggle her way back into my life somehow and it all started again.

In the end, it came out she was crushing hard on me, which I kind of suspected. When her texts started to become sexual, I just snapped and told her to leave me alone once and for all. It also turns out that another person had to get a restraining order out against her before she met me, so there's that.

- ImStealingTheTowels

Dealbreakers

If they don't listen to you in conversations but rather are sitting there waiting for their turn to speak, it's a dealbreaker.

If they are permanently an innocent victim, surrounded by wrongdoers, that's a dealbreaker.

If they are a drama-mama or a drama-papa, that is a deal.break.er.

If they only call you when they need something, they are using you. Dealbreaker

If they are not happy for you when something good happens, but instead lament how they are not as happy - dealbreaker.

If they exclude you intentionally, talk about you behind your back, spill your secrets... those are major dealbreakers, shut it down.

- Squeakymayotoes

Image by tookapic from Pixabay

Can you see Harry Potter at a football game in the Midwest? Chowing on a corn dog, throwing back some good ole Pepsi-Cola? Or can you picture the Harry universe living and loving in the great U. S of A? What would casting look like against the backdrop of the great harvest plains? I have so many thoughts and ideas. The first thought, the change would never work. Keep the story alive on British soil.

But, for fun, let's chat about the idea.

Redditor u/Cuish wanted all the Potter heads out there to share what American tweeks would occur in the Potterverse within America, by asking:

If Harry Potter was set in the United States, how would the story change?
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They say one man's trash is another man's treasure - and sometimes that saying is pretty literal.

Lots of people build entire businesses picking up cool stuff on bulk-pickup trash day, and upcycling it into something even better that people are willing to pay for.

Sometimes, you might even end up with something pristine and usable right away.

Reddit user JampackedAlborn1976 asked:

What is the most valuable item that you have seen somebody throw away or have found in the garbage?

And for real ... some of these people scored BIG TIME. Like big time. Like really big.

Like Refrigerator Big

just ask leslie jones GIF by Saturday Night Live Giphy

"Our current refrigerator is a double-door one with exterior ice and water dispensers. We got it for free, with absolutely no problems whatsoever. It's just a few years old."

"How we got it? My dad (civil engineer) was doing some work on someone's apartment when they said they had bought a new modern French door refrigerator and that they were just going to discard their current refrigerator."

"My dad simply asked if he could have it.. and they said yes." - SauloJr

Immigrants In Action

Dog Brazil GIF Giphy

"I immigrated to the US from Brazil when I was 12. And every Saturday, my mom, stepdad, sister and I would go out at night to upper middle class neighborhoods the day before trash pickup to rummage through the garbage they were putting out."

"We found perfectly good TVs, VCRs, microwaves, couches, lazy boys, tables, books and comics, etc."

"I couldn't believe these Americans were throwing out like that. We furnished our entire house with that stuff. The entire Brazilian immigrant community in my town did it. We were flabbergasted." - PhillipLlerenas

With A Note

Television Bunny GIF Giphy

"My wife yelled at me that someone put a big TV outside with a note on it. Walked across the street and it was a brand new Samsung 37 inch HDTV."

"They were actually renovating the apartment building and got an upgraded TV. Even had the remote taped to it with batteries, I guess I have really nice neighbors here in NYC." - MadLintElf

Life Hack!

studying busy philipps GIF by Drunk History Giphy

"If you want high end stuff out of the garbage for free, follow these steps:"

"Pick a city with a large university in it. If it's a school well known for its law programs, or medical, or engineering, all the better."

"Search for luxury apartment complexes that market themselves towards students. Look for things like included shuttle service, pools, fitness centers, etc. The more expensive and swanky the better."

"Figure out when finals week is at the end of Spring semester."

"Dumpster dive at those luxury apartment complexes during that week and the following weekend."

"Very wealthy international students will arrive in the US, fully outfit an apartment with nice furniture, big TVs, audio systems, gaming consoles, you name it, and when the semester ends they just junk it all because they aren't going to fly it back to wherever, and it's too much effort to spend the time selling when they do not care about the money."

"It's a smaller scale phenomenon a little like all the luxury cars abandoned at the airport in Dubai." - whattothewhonow

Literal Gold Treasure

valley of the boom david kim stanley GIF by National Geographic Channel Giphy

"I found a gold coin at goodwill for 5 bucks. It was in a case with someone's name and company name."

"It was their gift from the company for retiring. I assume the family threw it out when he died not knowing it was solid gold. It was in a in a thick solid plastic case that had to be cracked opened."

"It literally said 1 oz fine gold on it. I figured 5 bucks was worth the risk it not being real."

"It was a South African KRUGERRAND 1 oz coin. Everyone was just too busy to read it lol."

"Bought it and took it too a pawn shop and sold it for a couple grand." - streetmitch

The Best Day Of My Life

Will Smith Wow GIF by 1LIVE Giphy

"When I was a kid, I grew up right outside the Los Angeles area in the suburbs. My stepdad was a garbage truck driver for the city of Beverly Hills."

"I swear in the late 80s and early 90s we'd have so much basically brand new stuff (still in boxes) brought home on a regular basis."

"I'll never forget one day in particular. My stepdad came home and was like 'get ready, come to the car, I'll need your help.' So I go down there and in back seat of his car he had a few large black garbage bags."

"We haul them up to our apartment and he's like 'go ahead, open them.' Inside was what I could only describe as an 80s kids trove of treasures."

"One bag contained just about every Ghostbusters and GI joe toy you can imagine, they were played with but had every little accessory, there was a bunch the playsets and everything."

"In the other bag was pretty much every LEGO of the early 80s sets, still in their original boxes. I was a big LEGO nerd but was totally thrown off by the old school space ones because they looked nothing like the 90s space sets. I think they even said "NASA" the minifig's chests."

"That was like a random day in July, it felt like Christmas. I was 9 years old and it was basically like the best day of my life up to that point." - Zombgief

Who Throws Away Money?

spongebob squarepants money GIF Giphy

"A jar full of quarters."

"Annual spring cleaning projects happen in a lot of towns where anyone can put almost anything on the curb and it's taken away for free. It's to stop open dumping or stuff being dumped in ditches."

"Sometimes people deal with estates from winter by just dumping all their grandfather's stuff on the curb for the cleanup to get the house empty immediately. Most often they don't even bother to look at what they are throwing away."

"In 2012 on north road in Akwesasne I found an estate pile that I shuttled back and forth with my bike trailer getting lots of older tools like a scythe, hammers, saws, screwdrivers and wrenches, a 22 rifle with 100 round of ammo, a bunch of ar15 magazines, cast iron cookware, oil lamps, a hand crank food mill with all kinds of accessories, a black raven axe head (worth $100 easily since they are a collectable), and a quart size mason jar full of change mostly quarters."

"That was spring and the sheriffs office did a gun buyback in the fall where I took the mags and got $20 each for them (30 round mags suddenly illegal under the safe act of fall 2012. The buyback was a local political move). I still got the 22 and picked off a lot of woodchuck with it in my gardens." - Bogtrotterso1980

Filing Fever

Files Workload GIF Giphy

"I own a small company which is located directly in front of a state funded program facility. The state decided to have this office shred all of their files as they were going to switch to electronic data (exclusively)."

"We found two of these old rotary filing cabinets outside of their office. They're worth almost $3k each!"

"They just placed them there and we saw them and asked what they planned on doing with them. They said, 'Hmmm.....either donate them or trash them.' The state told them simply to get rid of them."

"We jumped at this and took the two into our already tiny office because there was no way in hell that we were going to let these gems go. (We do use paper files, unfortunately)."

"They wanted to give us two smaller ones but seriously, our office is very small. I made some phone calls and they were picked up immediately by other office workers/friends." - GlitzBlitz

This Sucks - In A Good Way!

mrs doubtfire vacuum GIF Giphy

"In the 1990s my moms work had a really nice high end Hoover that stopped working. They threw it out."

"My mom took it home because my dad tinkers and repairs things easily. Turns out since it was a bagged vacuum all the dummies had to do is REPLACE THE BAG."

"Like it never occurred to them to do the most easy and basic step. My parents were excited to have a really upgraded vacuum. Maybe like $500ish." - schweddyboobs

Tiffany's Trash

Audrey Hepburn Movie GIF by The Good Films Giphy

"My dad found an old stained glass window laying out by someone's trash. He thought it would look cool hanging in our cabin, so he stopped and grabbed it."

"It sat in our garage for a few years before he looked at it more closely and found "Tiffany and Co." branding on it. He got in touch with some stained glass window dude who figured it was worth about $40k fully restored, so my dad sold it to him for somewhere around $30k." - throwaway_stopdrink

Have you had any awesomely trashtastic treasures? Let us know!