Life is cyclical and the people you think will stay around forever wind up surprising you, as we learned when Redditor juublyvisuals asked: "Redditors who don't talk to their best friends any more, what made the relationship not work out?"
"One of my best friends from college."
One of my best friends from college. We moved to different cities after graduation. For a while we would visit each other like once a month. See each other back at school. I never even got the chance to miss her because it felt like seeing her again was just around the corner. Then she got a boyfriend. It turned into "Oh my gosh I miss you! We have to plan something soon!" Which would work out at first, then decreased in frequency. Texting funny things slowly disappeared as our shared experiences faded into the background.
When she got married, I was in her wedding. It just felt so...different. There weren't many people from college at her wedding. The ones who were there, we all just felt like a different phase of her life. At the rehearsal dinner when people would give toasts, I realized that there was so much I didn't know about her life now. And the stories I told no longer seemed relevant to who she was. Communication just naturally trickled down after that. To the point where I'm still on the Christmas card list, but there's a good chance that will be the only communication I have with her. While I miss that old friendship, some relationships are just naturally set up to be great for a moment in time and remembered fondly thereafter.
"She found out..."
She found out that her, now husband, had a "crush" on me in high school. I didn't really even know the guy back then. He got drunk one night and told us all, assuming that we could all take it lightly and as a joke. Well, she didn't. She never spoke to me again after that night.
"He got married."
He got married.
A single Facebook message is all I've managed to get out of him since then. I talked with his sister briefly a few years back and asked what was up with them. She paused and said "I don't want to say anything bad about her, but... I can't think of anything good."
He always dated crazy girls when we were in school, and he always became a bit of an idiot while he was dating them. I kind of hoped he would learn from those experiences and end up with someone better, but it seems like he just kept looking for the same thing he always did.
"She was cheating..."
She was cheating on her boyfriend of 7 years with a guy she met on Ashley Madison. When the boyfriend found out they had a big blow up, broke up, and he came over to apologize to me about things he had said about me. Apparently over the course of the affair, she had used me as a scapegoat at every opportunity. To the point where the boyfriend hated my guts and thought I was a horrible person. I stopped talking to her.
"She just suddenly..."Giphy
She just suddenly stopped talking to me despite me reaching out several times. I found out through the grapevine that she got married and had a kid at 19, which blew me out of the water. She wasn't that type of person at all. This was my best friend of almost ten years, and that's not her! I never heard about any of this and also learned that I was the only person in our friend group that got cut out.
I've done a lot of self-reflection about this (mostly because I don't want to repeat whatever I did in future relationships) but goddamnit, I just cannot figure out what I did to deserve the axe.
"I was a casual marijuana smoker..."
I was a casual marijuana smoker and they got into progressively harder and harder drugs.
My roommate from college. He was a great guy. Unfortunately, after he got really successful in his career, he started telling everyone that poor people are poor because they are stupid and they should have no rights. Basically, he believes only successful people should be able to vote and have children.
Stopped talking to him two years ago and met him last year at a friend's wedding. He argued with pretty much everyone the whole time, saying some stupid racist sh!t. I couldn't believe how money can change a person.
"We became roommates."
We became roommates.
I'm sure I did something to piss him off, but I'm not sure what, because he literally just stopped talking to me one day...like a f*cking five year old.
The first day it happened, I honestly thought he was just having a sh!t day, but then it turned into weeks and two months, and then I moved out and never talked to him again.
"I had 2 best friends..."
I had 2 best friends in high school. Friend B just straight up stopped talking to me and Friend A a month before high school graduation. I even went to friend Bs graduation party and B just ignored me the entire time I was there.
Then after a few years I got pissed at being forced to always initiate contact with Friend A so I stopped messaging Friend A and-after like 10 years of being best friends-Friend A never attempted to talk to me after that.
Weirdly enough 6 months after I stopped making the effort to talk to A, A and B got all buddy buddy again so apparently I was just a terrible friend or something.
We were neighbors growing up but never attended the same school. We spent every bit of free time together and had a blast playing video games or sports. Each other's families treated us like family. This went on for about 16 years.
Once we reached high school, we started to drift apart due to separate friend groups and relationships. As we grew up, we began to have differing values. We got in a big argument one weekend on a topic that, in a big picture, was very very small.
I haven't talked to my childhood best friend since that weekend though. It has been more than 5 years. There are times were I wish I could go back to relive the memories.
"I have a few..."
I have a few that I don't talk to anymore. All of them were friends of more than 25 years. Friend A, self-centred, complains about every single thing. When her husband's grown son (who she didn't get along with) died in a car accident, she made it all about her. Friend B, was also friends with Friend A, blocked me, because I wasn't dealing with Friend A. Friend C, decided to call me racist against white people, after I posted a meme about supporting LGBTQ. I actually love it, because the toxic people are gone.
"She got really possessive..."
She got really possessive of my unborn child during my pregnancy. Almost acting like I was her surrogate. Made me so uncomfortable cause she was talking about taking him places without telling me. Another friend told her to back the hell off and things kind of blew up.
"So life's good for both of us."
Not a best friend but we were close in elementary. I am Black and she is white. The school we attended was predominantly African American and Latino and to make her feel more comfortable she and I formed a friend group with one other girl. We would talk and tell jokes and I would make them laugh. Well in middle school I attended a predominantly white school and by surprise she had transferred! So I was there a year before her and showed her around and introduce her to my friends. As the school year continued she stopped sitting at me at lunch ( which I don't mind. you do you ,you got ur own life) but she just stopped talking to me. I would wave and say "hi"and she just stared at me with the racist girls at the school and giggle about some stupid shit. I just felt completely disrespected. Even my brother came to me telling how she changed. We haven't talked since. We are Facebook friends and she's in nursing school with two kids and I graduated with a mechanical engineering technology degree. So life's good for both of us.
Every time we would hang out, she'd be on her phone the whole time texting other friends. Even at the movies.
"I feel it's fair on me."
My best friend of almost 20 years...literally knew her since first day of kindergarten. We both moved to a larger city for uni, though we studied at different universities.
It eventually became a chore to hang out with her. I had always felt underappreciated in this arrangement- I was always the one apologizing, making plans, sacrificing stuff for her benefit, and she would have trouble expressing genuine joy when I something went well, and did not comfort me when things were bad. At some point, I got very tired of reaching out to her all the time - I get being busy with a boyfriend, and medical studies are brutal, but it felt like talking to a wall. Decided to wait until she initiated, was almost 2 years until that happened. We hung out, and it was awkward. Before, I was stupid enough to put up with the careless treatment, but now, I was aware, and she treated me the same.
I still care about her, but I don't plan on meeting her soon. If she invites me to hang out, I'll go, but, for now, it's been another 2 years, and I hope we don't meet any time soon. She seems to not need me, and I cannot handle someone else's problems right now, especially when they don't do the same in return. I feel it's fair on me.
"Told me not to go over for Christmas..."
Told me not to go over for Christmas because her boyfriend didn't like me. We had been friends for over 12 years And she did some other shady shit before, that was the final straw.
"One of my closest friends."
One of my closest friends.
A girl I always hang out with (not a friend) told her I watched hentai. I confirmed it. Friend stopped talking to me.
Apparently she didn't want to hang out with someone that did bad things like that yet she hangs out with someone that does way worse things than just "watch hentai".
I'm not surprised, tbh lol.
But I'm just mad because she was the only person I actually liked.
"Emily was actually..."
Not me, but a girl I know, let's call her Emily was best friends with Nicole since they were in kindergarten. By the time they got to the end of high school Emily had a boyfriend and naturally said boyfriend started cheating on Emily with her best friend Nicole.
Emily was actually very good about it. Emily stopped talking to her ex best friend and ex boyfriend for obvious reasons. Emily always said "I always thought they'd be really good together". She was essentially happy for them. Nicole and her boyfriend are now getting married. While Emily prefers to be alone to meditate and contemplate death.
"So I can mentally cope..."
Best friends thru thick and thin since age 5. Late 20's he has back surgery, gets prescribed oxy, never was the same after. He spiralled, lost his job, house, wife & kids, multiple other jobs after. As he was losing his family, mine was just getting started, and i just couldn't have him around any more. Couldn't trust anything he said. Cut ties completely.
So i can mentally cope, to me, my friend died back then. In reality, we live in the same town and i run into him on occasion. It's incredibly awkward, and i have a hard time with life for a day or two until he goes back to being "dead". RIP brother. I miss you.
"So I have these two friends..."
So I have these two friends. I loved them and I thought they were there for me and would never leave but one moved away and then the next year in fourth grade my other friend ditched me. Now I have depression and no friends.