Life is cyclical and the people you think will stay around forever wind up surprising you, as we learned when Redditor juublyvisuals asked: "Redditors who don't talk to their best friends any more, what made the relationship not work out?"
"One of my best friends from college."
One of my best friends from college. We moved to different cities after graduation. For a while we would visit each other like once a month. See each other back at school. I never even got the chance to miss her because it felt like seeing her again was just around the corner. Then she got a boyfriend. It turned into "Oh my gosh I miss you! We have to plan something soon!" Which would work out at first, then decreased in frequency. Texting funny things slowly disappeared as our shared experiences faded into the background.
When she got married, I was in her wedding. It just felt so...different. There weren't many people from college at her wedding. The ones who were there, we all just felt like a different phase of her life. At the rehearsal dinner when people would give toasts, I realized that there was so much I didn't know about her life now. And the stories I told no longer seemed relevant to who she was. Communication just naturally trickled down after that. To the point where I'm still on the Christmas card list, but there's a good chance that will be the only communication I have with her. While I miss that old friendship, some relationships are just naturally set up to be great for a moment in time and remembered fondly thereafter.
"She found out..."
She found out that her, now husband, had a "crush" on me in high school. I didn't really even know the guy back then. He got drunk one night and told us all, assuming that we could all take it lightly and as a joke. Well, she didn't. She never spoke to me again after that night.
"He got married."
He got married.
A single Facebook message is all I've managed to get out of him since then. I talked with his sister briefly a few years back and asked what was up with them. She paused and said "I don't want to say anything bad about her, but... I can't think of anything good."
He always dated crazy girls when we were in school, and he always became a bit of an idiot while he was dating them. I kind of hoped he would learn from those experiences and end up with someone better, but it seems like he just kept looking for the same thing he always did.
"She was cheating..."
She was cheating on her boyfriend of 7 years with a guy she met on Ashley Madison. When the boyfriend found out they had a big blow up, broke up, and he came over to apologize to me about things he had said about me. Apparently over the course of the affair, she had used me as a scapegoat at every opportunity. To the point where the boyfriend hated my guts and thought I was a horrible person. I stopped talking to her.
"She just suddenly..."
GiphyShe just suddenly stopped talking to me despite me reaching out several times. I found out through the grapevine that she got married and had a kid at 19, which blew me out of the water. She wasn't that type of person at all. This was my best friend of almost ten years, and that's not her! I never heard about any of this and also learned that I was the only person in our friend group that got cut out.
I've done a lot of self-reflection about this (mostly because I don't want to repeat whatever I did in future relationships) but goddamnit, I just cannot figure out what I did to deserve the axe.
"I was a casual marijuana smoker..."
I was a casual marijuana smoker and they got into progressively harder and harder drugs.
"My roommate..."
My roommate from college. He was a great guy. Unfortunately, after he got really successful in his career, he started telling everyone that poor people are poor because they are stupid and they should have no rights. Basically, he believes only successful people should be able to vote and have children.
Stopped talking to him two years ago and met him last year at a friend's wedding. He argued with pretty much everyone the whole time, saying some stupid racist sh!t. I couldn't believe how money can change a person.
"We became roommates."
We became roommates.
I'm sure I did something to piss him off, but I'm not sure what, because he literally just stopped talking to me one day...like a f*cking five year old.
The first day it happened, I honestly thought he was just having a sh!t day, but then it turned into weeks and two months, and then I moved out and never talked to him again.
"I had 2 best friends..."
I had 2 best friends in high school. Friend B just straight up stopped talking to me and Friend A a month before high school graduation. I even went to friend Bs graduation party and B just ignored me the entire time I was there.
Then after a few years I got pissed at being forced to always initiate contact with Friend A so I stopped messaging Friend A and-after like 10 years of being best friends-Friend A never attempted to talk to me after that.
Weirdly enough 6 months after I stopped making the effort to talk to A, A and B got all buddy buddy again so apparently I was just a terrible friend or something.
We were neighbors growing up but never attended the same school. We spent every bit of free time together and had a blast playing video games or sports. Each other's families treated us like family. This went on for about 16 years.
Once we reached high school, we started to drift apart due to separate friend groups and relationships. As we grew up, we began to have differing values. We got in a big argument one weekend on a topic that, in a big picture, was very very small.
I haven't talked to my childhood best friend since that weekend though. It has been more than 5 years. There are times were I wish I could go back to relive the memories.
"I have a few..."
I have a few that I don't talk to anymore. All of them were friends of more than 25 years. Friend A, self-centred, complains about every single thing. When her husband's grown son (who she didn't get along with) died in a car accident, she made it all about her. Friend B, was also friends with Friend A, blocked me, because I wasn't dealing with Friend A. Friend C, decided to call me racist against white people, after I posted a meme about supporting LGBTQ. I actually love it, because the toxic people are gone.
"She got really possessive..."
She got really possessive of my unborn child during my pregnancy. Almost acting like I was her surrogate. Made me so uncomfortable cause she was talking about taking him places without telling me. Another friend told her to back the hell off and things kind of blew up.
"So life's good for both of us."
Not a best friend but we were close in elementary. I am Black and she is white. The school we attended was predominantly African American and Latino and to make her feel more comfortable she and I formed a friend group with one other girl. We would talk and tell jokes and I would make them laugh. Well in middle school I attended a predominantly white school and by surprise she had transferred! So I was there a year before her and showed her around and introduce her to my friends. As the school year continued she stopped sitting at me at lunch ( which I don't mind. you do you ,you got ur own life) but she just stopped talking to me. I would wave and say "hi"and she just stared at me with the racist girls at the school and giggle about some stupid shit. I just felt completely disrespected. Even my brother came to me telling how she changed. We haven't talked since. We are Facebook friends and she's in nursing school with two kids and I graduated with a mechanical engineering technology degree. So life's good for both of us.
"Every time..."
Every time we would hang out, she'd be on her phone the whole time texting other friends. Even at the movies.
"I feel it's fair on me."
My best friend of almost 20 years...literally knew her since first day of kindergarten. We both moved to a larger city for uni, though we studied at different universities.
It eventually became a chore to hang out with her. I had always felt underappreciated in this arrangement- I was always the one apologizing, making plans, sacrificing stuff for her benefit, and she would have trouble expressing genuine joy when I something went well, and did not comfort me when things were bad. At some point, I got very tired of reaching out to her all the time - I get being busy with a boyfriend, and medical studies are brutal, but it felt like talking to a wall. Decided to wait until she initiated, was almost 2 years until that happened. We hung out, and it was awkward. Before, I was stupid enough to put up with the careless treatment, but now, I was aware, and she treated me the same.
I still care about her, but I don't plan on meeting her soon. If she invites me to hang out, I'll go, but, for now, it's been another 2 years, and I hope we don't meet any time soon. She seems to not need me, and I cannot handle someone else's problems right now, especially when they don't do the same in return. I feel it's fair on me.
"Told me not to go over for Christmas..."
Told me not to go over for Christmas because her boyfriend didn't like me. We had been friends for over 12 years And she did some other shady shit before, that was the final straw.
"One of my closest friends."
One of my closest friends.
A girl I always hang out with (not a friend) told her I watched hentai. I confirmed it. Friend stopped talking to me.
Apparently she didn't want to hang out with someone that did bad things like that yet she hangs out with someone that does way worse things than just "watch hentai".
I'm not surprised, tbh lol.
But I'm just mad because she was the only person I actually liked.
"Emily was actually..."
Not me, but a girl I know, let's call her Emily was best friends with Nicole since they were in kindergarten. By the time they got to the end of high school Emily had a boyfriend and naturally said boyfriend started cheating on Emily with her best friend Nicole.
Emily was actually very good about it. Emily stopped talking to her ex best friend and ex boyfriend for obvious reasons. Emily always said "I always thought they'd be really good together". She was essentially happy for them. Nicole and her boyfriend are now getting married. While Emily prefers to be alone to meditate and contemplate death.
"So I can mentally cope..."
Best friends thru thick and thin since age 5. Late 20's he has back surgery, gets prescribed oxy, never was the same after. He spiralled, lost his job, house, wife & kids, multiple other jobs after. As he was losing his family, mine was just getting started, and i just couldn't have him around any more. Couldn't trust anything he said. Cut ties completely.
So i can mentally cope, to me, my friend died back then. In reality, we live in the same town and i run into him on occasion. It's incredibly awkward, and i have a hard time with life for a day or two until he goes back to being "dead". RIP brother. I miss you.
"So I have these two friends..."
So I have these two friends. I loved them and I thought they were there for me and would never leave but one moved away and then the next year in fourth grade my other friend ditched me. Now I have depression and no friends.
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.