We are in a fragile place right now when it comes to bringing children into this world.
Not everybody is meant to be a parent.
In fact, many people should never be one.
So I find it commendable how many of us acknowledge that and chose not to procreate.
Redditorucinangel wanted to everyone to vent about why children are a "no thank you" in their book of life. They asked:
"What is the biggest reasons why you don’t want children?"
I have never wanted children. Best decision ever. But y'all do you if you feel differently. How do we feel?
Restless
3. Taking a lot of napsGiphy"I like sleep too much."
CrinkleCutWotsit
"I took two naps today.. definitely couldn't do that with kids."
yawnfactory
The Unquittable
"I don’t want to be a parent."
ConnieLingus24
"This is reason enough."
Move4me
"I am a parent. One of my friends told me she didn’t want kids and said she hoped she hadn’t offended me by saying so. I said absolutely not, no one who doesn’t want to be a parent should be one. It’s an unquittable job. You have to want it for the long term."
lohype
Freedom
"I don't want kids because they're expensive and I don't have any free time. I have yet to break it to them though. Maybe after soccer practice tonight."
discostud1515
"I miss having free time. I can't hang out with friends last minute after work because I have to pick up my kid and feed her and get her to bed."
Detronyx
The Mess
"It can really wreck you physically and emotionally. Even if it's an easy pregnancy, your whole body/hormonal makeup changes wildly. People act like it's 9 months of sitting in a field, making flower crowns and serenely stroking your growing belly."
"Nah bro, it's mood swings, having your guts kicked from the inside, your hair changes, eyesight might change, all kinds of crap I had no idea about until my friends started popping out kids. Like I knew it was intense before, but I had no idea how intense."
outerspaceteatime
HOT AF!!
Cool Down Season 2 GIF by FriendsGiphy"A two person income with no children is too sexy to pass up on."
TheOllieTrollie
Kids are EXPENSIVE! I like $$$ too much as well.
Grocery Store Reaction GIF by TravisDNA
"I'm barely capable of taking care of myself, so I definitely shouldn't be responsible for a child. I also think it would be a crime to make a child using my DNA."
Maintenance_Person
"I commend this sentiment so much, and I wish more people would follow. My brother is 40 years old and never had kids, simply stating he knows he wouldn't be capable of taking care of them. There's so many unwanted kids in this world because people don't think this through before having them."
UrsulaVanTentacles
High Anxiety
"I got a cat and the amount of anxiety and panic I regularly have over being responsible for an animal that doesn't need to be taught to walk is nuts."
NortheasternWind
"I don’t even have any pets, but I watch my sisters dog and a friends cat every few weeks, and the amount of time I spent staring at them when they’re sleeping to make sure they’re still breathing is too high."
are_u_sure_aboutthat
Poor us...
"I grew up poor so u bet ur a** I'm enjoying my money not having to worry about diapers and baby formula."
HeadAd9745
"I feel this so much. I was the kid who never had the money to go to the movies or the concert or whatever it was my friends wanted to do. I make decent money but am so stuck in poverty mindset I'm terrified to spend it and I genuinely don't feel like I will ever feel financially stable enough to feel comfortable supporting a kid."
bgood_xo
Best ideas
Sacha Baron Cohen Thumbs Up GIF by Amazon Prime VideoGiphy"Wouldn't make a good parent. I'm 56. I don't see myself changing my mind on this one."
Varna_av_Vargarna
"My older brother got a vasectomy at like 27, no kids. He knew it was a very good idea. I actually agreed (I have three myself, he, ummm, probably wouldn't have been a killer dad). They're not for everybody, and you have to really spoil 'em if you expect a decent nursing home someday."
mcarterphoto
Cost of Living
"It’s not economically possible at the moment. Housing and costs of living are through the roof. If I were to move into an apartment with a partner, we would already be living in poverty if we both worked decent jobs. Having another mouth to feed would put us further into poverty and wouldn’t be fair for the kid."
DiggingUpTheCorpses
RUIN
"My mom was really weird. I remember her telling me when I was around 8 or so that my that my birth was a horrifically painful experience for her and that I ruined her body, and told me that she couldn't wait until I got pregnant and gave birth so she could 'make some popcorn, pull up a chair and watch the show' and that she would enjoy watching me get ripped up. I have a lot of reasons for wanting to be permanently child free, but that alone has had me turned off to idea of having children ever since."
R_lamar199721
About the gene part...
"At the age of sixteen, I realized my parents were abusive psychotic pieces of s**t. I refused to take a chance of me becoming like that. I also refused to have a kid that might have those genes. My sister had kids and lo and behold, she turned into an abusive psychotic piece of s**t, so I guess I was right after all. About the gene part. I am happily married with the same gal for 35 years, so I'm kinda smug all the time."
houtinhand
NEVER
Fight Beat Up GIFGiphy"I babysat my 4 year old nephew, and 2 year old niece and nephew over a long weekend. Absolutely never again for any reason ever."
ChoppyChug
Remember it ALL!
"The pain of birth. I don‘t want kids in general but if I change my mind I’m adopting one or two. And it‘s definitely going to be someone older (10-17) cuz these kids never get a chance. And to everyone who’s saying 'you‘ll forget the pain when u hold that baby in your arms' idc. I‘ll still feel it and I don‘t want this."
Suckingonurmomst**s
Life is good...
"I quite like kids. I am very maternal towards my nephews. But being a parent would make me an anxious high strung overworked mess. The stress of it gives me chills. I'd be emotionally miserable and my marriage would likely fail. As of now I am a happily married 41F, no regrets."
"I sleep and eat on my own schedule, have quiet morning coffees and do as I please. Savings in the bank. A lovely 4 bedroom home with 3 cats. Vacations for two. Happy hours with friends whenever it suits my mood. Life is good. I'm not giving that up."
laureltreesinbloom
Overwhelmed
"The idea of being pregnant, let alone actually birthing, is horrifying to me. I also have no maternal instinct for human children. I have sensory processing issues that make me get overwhelmed very easily and I can't deal with lots of noise or gross. I can barely take care of myself; I don't want to be responsible for a whole other helpless person."
Sombritte
It's Me
Kids Playing GIF by moodmanGiphy"I already have kids, but wanted to see the replies. All valid reasons, don't let anyone shame or guilt you into it if you don't want them. It's a personal choice, and it's fine."
oldnyoung
Kids aren't for everybody. That is truth and that's ok.
Curious to hear from ex-lovers who've been there, Redditor Lishasquarepant asked:
"What caused your last break-up?"
These Redditors found they and their significant other were no longer on the same page.
"Simply, we grew apart."
– catetheway
"Same, I feel like Michael Scott everytime I try to start another relationship. 'No question about it, I am ready to get hurt again.'"
– Gthew
Happier Apart
"Same. We loved each other like siblings, not spouses... Ugh! Lovely man though who now has a fab girlfriend. We are good friends and much happier apart."
– MoxieHasKnottyBits
No Regrets
"Same. And it f'king sucks, but that’s life. It’s been a year and I still hate every second that she’s not in my life, but at the same time I know she’s happier now than she would’ve been if we stayed together."
– throway35885328
Having no communication is the worst part.
Silent Partner
"He slowly got distant. I believe he lost interest and didn't dare be honest with me about that."
– GaiaNatur77
The Late Blame Game
"I had that happen as well, but then he pinned it on me being distant and not affectionate enough."
"My guy, if you pull your hand away every time I try to hold it, I'm gonna stop trying to hold it. And if I ask if something's up and you repeatedly tell me everything is fine, I'm going to believe you. Don't wait till I'm at my worst moment and then reveal you had issues with me for 3 months and break up with me for it being 'my fault.'"
– Billielolly
"Everything Is Fine"
"Oh man, the asking repeatedly and getting a 'nothing' reminds me of a story."
"My friend used to ask her ex this every time he was unusually quiet. He’d always say he was fine, then at one point, told her to stop asking because it was making him feel weird."
"So she did."
"Six months later he initiated a divorce because she didn’t care about his feelings anymore."
"Like…don’t ask for sh*t then get pissy when you get what you want."
– TheRealJackReynolds
And then there are those who were not invested in the relationship for a long time.
The Struggle Is Real
"He seemed to struggle with the concept of not f'king random people."
– spanglesandbambi
Leaving The Problem
"He moved to his country because he missed his family. So he only sent a WhatsApp message saying he was going to stay there. I would have preferred a call at least to break up a marriage."
– kattia12
New Life
"Something similar happened to my cousin. He married her in the US, they had a baby together.. a few years go by, he misses home, goes back to visit.. His family had an arranged marriage ready for him 🤦🏻♀️ He ended up with a new wife and new baby. Hasn’t came back."
– MysticalMom7
A Foreign Custom
"It just seems so surreal that a grown a** adult with a wife and baby would leave his family behind for an arranged marriage. I'll never fathom the mentality."
– ro0ibos2
Ouch
"I wasn't having sex near as often as she was."
– YourWordsMatter
Breaking up is hard to do.
But a good thing to remember is that love can be found again and the new relationship can be even better than the previous one.
And that's something that can't be recognized until you look back in retrospect.
We all have to kiss a few toads.
