People Confess The Biggest Reasons They Don't Want To Have Kids
We are in a fragile place right now when it comes to bringing children into this world.
Not everybody is meant to be a parent.
In fact, many people should never be one.
So I find it commendable how many of us acknowledge that and chose not to procreate.
Redditorucinangel wanted to everyone to vent about why children are a "no thank you" in their book of life. They asked:
"What is the biggest reasons why you don’t want children?"
I have never wanted children. Best decision ever. But y'all do you if you feel differently. How do we feel?
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"I like sleep too much."
"I took two naps today.. definitely couldn't do that with kids."
"I don’t want to be a parent."
"This is reason enough."
"I am a parent. One of my friends told me she didn’t want kids and said she hoped she hadn’t offended me by saying so. I said absolutely not, no one who doesn’t want to be a parent should be one. It’s an unquittable job. You have to want it for the long term."
"I don't want kids because they're expensive and I don't have any free time. I have yet to break it to them though. Maybe after soccer practice tonight."
"I miss having free time. I can't hang out with friends last minute after work because I have to pick up my kid and feed her and get her to bed."
"It can really wreck you physically and emotionally. Even if it's an easy pregnancy, your whole body/hormonal makeup changes wildly. People act like it's 9 months of sitting in a field, making flower crowns and serenely stroking your growing belly."
"Nah bro, it's mood swings, having your guts kicked from the inside, your hair changes, eyesight might change, all kinds of crap I had no idea about until my friends started popping out kids. Like I knew it was intense before, but I had no idea how intense."
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"A two person income with no children is too sexy to pass up on."
Kids are EXPENSIVE! I like $$$ too much as well.
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"All that noise… hurts my head."
"I'm barely capable of taking care of myself, so I definitely shouldn't be responsible for a child. I also think it would be a crime to make a child using my DNA."
"I commend this sentiment so much, and I wish more people would follow. My brother is 40 years old and never had kids, simply stating he knows he wouldn't be capable of taking care of them. There's so many unwanted kids in this world because people don't think this through before having them."
"I got a cat and the amount of anxiety and panic I regularly have over being responsible for an animal that doesn't need to be taught to walk is nuts."
"I don’t even have any pets, but I watch my sisters dog and a friends cat every few weeks, and the amount of time I spent staring at them when they’re sleeping to make sure they’re still breathing is too high."
"I grew up poor so u bet ur a** I'm enjoying my money not having to worry about diapers and baby formula."
"I feel this so much. I was the kid who never had the money to go to the movies or the concert or whatever it was my friends wanted to do. I make decent money but am so stuck in poverty mindset I'm terrified to spend it and I genuinely don't feel like I will ever feel financially stable enough to feel comfortable supporting a kid."
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"Wouldn't make a good parent. I'm 56. I don't see myself changing my mind on this one."
"My older brother got a vasectomy at like 27, no kids. He knew it was a very good idea. I actually agreed (I have three myself, he, ummm, probably wouldn't have been a killer dad). They're not for everybody, and you have to really spoil 'em if you expect a decent nursing home someday."
Cost of Living
"It’s not economically possible at the moment. Housing and costs of living are through the roof. If I were to move into an apartment with a partner, we would already be living in poverty if we both worked decent jobs. Having another mouth to feed would put us further into poverty and wouldn’t be fair for the kid."
"My mom was really weird. I remember her telling me when I was around 8 or so that my that my birth was a horrifically painful experience for her and that I ruined her body, and told me that she couldn't wait until I got pregnant and gave birth so she could 'make some popcorn, pull up a chair and watch the show' and that she would enjoy watching me get ripped up. I have a lot of reasons for wanting to be permanently child free, but that alone has had me turned off to idea of having children ever since."
About the gene part...
"At the age of sixteen, I realized my parents were abusive psychotic pieces of s**t. I refused to take a chance of me becoming like that. I also refused to have a kid that might have those genes. My sister had kids and lo and behold, she turned into an abusive psychotic piece of s**t, so I guess I was right after all. About the gene part. I am happily married with the same gal for 35 years, so I'm kinda smug all the time."
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"I babysat my 4 year old nephew, and 2 year old niece and nephew over a long weekend. Absolutely never again for any reason ever."
Remember it ALL!
"The pain of birth. I don‘t want kids in general but if I change my mind I’m adopting one or two. And it‘s definitely going to be someone older (10-17) cuz these kids never get a chance. And to everyone who’s saying 'you‘ll forget the pain when u hold that baby in your arms' idc. I‘ll still feel it and I don‘t want this."
Life is good...
"I quite like kids. I am very maternal towards my nephews. But being a parent would make me an anxious high strung overworked mess. The stress of it gives me chills. I'd be emotionally miserable and my marriage would likely fail. As of now I am a happily married 41F, no regrets."
"I sleep and eat on my own schedule, have quiet morning coffees and do as I please. Savings in the bank. A lovely 4 bedroom home with 3 cats. Vacations for two. Happy hours with friends whenever it suits my mood. Life is good. I'm not giving that up."
"The idea of being pregnant, let alone actually birthing, is horrifying to me. I also have no maternal instinct for human children. I have sensory processing issues that make me get overwhelmed very easily and I can't deal with lots of noise or gross. I can barely take care of myself; I don't want to be responsible for a whole other helpless person."
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"I already have kids, but wanted to see the replies. All valid reasons, don't let anyone shame or guilt you into it if you don't want them. It's a personal choice, and it's fine."
Kids aren't for everybody. That is truth and that's ok.
"A Redditor asked: 'What's an unwritten rule in your household?'"
There are rules in life where people are expected to just know how to operate without being told.
For instance, if someone falls down... help them.
When you like a sweater in a store... get money to buy it.
Just leaving with it won't go over well.
And there are more rules, or guidelines to adhere to...
Redditor christygl7 wanted to hear about what is expected in people's homes without words, so they asked:
"What's an unwritten rule in your household?"
If you have to pee... lift the seat cover.
The people in Port Authority always miss that one.
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"Either my wife or I can do any chore when noticed. We thank each other for routine chores as we appreciate each other."
"That’s how my fiancée and I handle chores. Whoever’s around when the core needs to be done does the chore, typically. I find she does more regular cleaning of the whole apartment while I do more dishes and cooking."
"Replacing the trash bag IS PART OF taking out the trash."
"Similar to this, in my house, the rule is if the toilet paper ended on your turn (or there’s barely enough for the next person) then it is your job to procure the next roll and put it in the bathroom. It is NOT acceptable to let it run out for the next person."
"We have extra stored in every bathroom. I make sure of it. However, if it runs low/out on the roll, my wife will 100% of the time take the new roll and set it on top of the empty tube on the spindle, refusing to replace it. I actually called her over and shamed her into changing it in front of me the other night (not in an abusive way - we were both laughing about it)."
"If you find money in the laundry while you are doing the laundry, it's yours."
"Yep. My boyfriend learned that lesson the hard way when we first started living together. He had a bad habit of just crumpling up bills in a big wad in his pocket, usually just ones, but sometimes he accidentally leaves a twenty in there. I tipped myself the twenty. It took him a couple of days of trying to figure out where it went before I took pity on him and told him."
"He now both turns out his pockets and washes his own clothes. I still find the occasional single dollar in the dryer."
"If food is dropped on the floor it becomes the property of the dog. The dog knew this rule before we did."
"That was one of the hardest things after our family dog died. Dropped something? Who cares! Riley will get it. But then he didn’t."
"Also, I don’t live at home anymore but coming home to him barking and crying out of excitement and greeting me always made my day and I looked forward to it every time I opened the door and could hear him wiggling in excitement on the side hahaha. It’s a little less exciting coming home now."
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"If the water you take from the Brita pitcher leaves what’s left below a certain line, you are obligated to refill the pitcher on penalty of death."
If you stay in my home and don't refill the Brita pitcher...
I'm setting your hair on fire at 3 AM!!!
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"Check the toilet after you flush."
"This. My brother-in-law never does this. It's annoying and disgusting! You don't want to clean up after yourself because you think it's gross? How do you think it makes me feel to clean up after you?"
"Wake someone up if their alarm goes off. It's a pretty weird one but setting up alarms is a conscious and deliberate decision for all of us and you want to wake up when it goes off, so we just help each other out."
"I'll do this a few times, but my roommate needs to learn not to hit snooze because he's taught his body that alarms don't need to be woken up to. I don't wake him up anymore. He started waking up to them."
"I’ll wake them up because it annoys me when people snooze especially if I’m next to them in the bed and I don’t have to get up."
"Shoes off at the door. No exceptions."
"Shoes-on people must not be using the same public bathrooms that I do. 100% of them have a lake of dirty urine in front of the urinal. They must also be amazing at finding two urine-free spots that are shoe-sized on the shores of said lake. It’s fine if they want to bring that into their homes. It’s not allowed in mine, though."
"No tech at the table."
"Even with a teenage daughter this has proved eerily easy; we all love food though!!"
"Also murder is out of the question, it is non-negotiable. If any of us kills another then they are outlawed in the true sense."
"Other than this, we are pretty cool."
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"Let the dog out to go potty before you use the restroom. (Seriously, the dog is asking to go out and you think she can wait while you take a 30-minute poop first? Not cool.)"
Always let the dogs go first.
If you wait, you won't like the surprise they leave!
Sometimes we look at a product and think "who would buy that, and why?"
For me the "Flowbee" home haircutting tool comes to mind. If you're unfamiliar, it's a shaver you attached to your vacuum cleaner so you hair was pulled past cutting blades.
It was sold on late night infomercials in the 1990s.
Who wouldn't want to style their hair like this?
As fabulous as that looks, results did vary with most veering toward "yikes!" yet by 2000 the company reported 2 million were sold.
And *surprise* you can still buy one—for about $150.
It seems no matter how bad a product is, someone will buy it.
Reddit user NoBridge255 asked:
"Which product doesn't work as it should, but people still buy it?"
"Septic tank safe flushable toilet wipes."
"The gentleman that pumps our tank brought me outside to see the evidence when his hose clogged. Sorry about that, Clint."
"Amen! I work water and sewer for the town I live in, 80-90 percent of the sewer issues are from a huge chunk of 'flushable wipes'. Yea, they went down the toilet then gathered up in the city's main!"
Don't Tear Here
"Any cardboard package with perforated 'Tear Here' lines."
"They never tear there."
"As an engineer, one of my peeves is a product where the perforation is the structurally strongest part of the whole thing."
"Anything that is supposed to cleanse, flush, or remove 'toxins' from one's body."
"People forget that we have organs in our bodies that do this already."
"Those silly copper bracelets that supposedly do everything from healing things to fixing your golf game."
"Every printer I have ever purchased no matter how expensive is the flakiest of products I ever own. Wifi constantly disconnects, PC's constantly have connectivity problems with them no matter if it is USB, WIFI or ethernet or all three."
"When you finally connect to them unless you print on them every week they will no longer work, ink will leak, or be dry and the printer is destroyed."
"Get a laser printer? You now skip the ink drying issues but the other issues still remain. That device has dementia."
"Whenever something is marketed as 'military grade', I recall the DOD-procured wrench that broke on me right after I removed the tape from it."
"Military grade simply means 'made within our generally vague specifications for the lowest price'."
"The Sims 4 expansion packs."
"I miss the days where games had to work out the box and didn't rely on day 1 patches or, hell, with The Sims it's like 6 months after they finally patch out 25% of the glitches."
"Living with my mother who was incontinent near the end of her life….all 'medical supply' style adult disposable diapers. Depends and McKesson ought to be a shamed of themselves for putting out such godawful products."
"Thank God for the folks at Northshore Care. They actually made products that did what they were supposed to do."
"And it allowed my mother to sleep soundly at night and function throughout the day without having to worry about feeling embarrassed in front of others."
Ax The Axe
"Pretty sure no woman has smelled Axe body spray and thought ‘I really wanna have sex with him, he smells amazing!'."
"As a woman I can confirm, I despise the scent of Axe body spray."
"Can confirm, makes me nauseous and want to run away."
"Every can opener ever purchased from a dollar store."
"Man, it feels like every can opener these days. Growing up we had the same can opener for YEARS and now I feel like I need a new one every year."
"Gas cans with their mandated safety spouts. It takes two hands to operate them."
"Very unwieldy, especially when filling small tools like chain saws. Often leads to spillage."
"The annoying irony is that they were created to stop spillage, yet they are so difficult to operate, that I have spilled far more fuel since the change than I EVER spill with a regular old funnel."
Don't Tell Snuggle
"Fabric softener dryer sheets ruin the absorbency of your bath towels."
"Also ruins wicking fabrics—clothing that is designed to dry quickly"
"And ruins fleece—destroys the soft/fluffiness."
"Personal AntiVirus software. It all sucks and doesn’t effectively work."
"And even then, the most effective is actually Windows Defender which is built in and free."
"Disposable razors. Especially the 3-5 blade ones that cost a ton of money."
"I avoided shaving because anything other than a single pass from a trimmer would irritate the hell out of my skin."
"I tried out a unbranded basic safety razor, and the difference is unbelievable. Far less irritating that an electric razor and the disposable razors. Takes fewer passes to actually get shaved. And the blades cost pennies, so you can literally use a fresh blade every time if you heart so desires."
"I have no idea how the advertising industry convinced us that modern 3+ blades nightmares are remotely good."
"Memory soles. The ones you put into your shoes."
"I bought them, put them in my shoes, went upstairs and STILL forgot what I went up there for."
"Don't be fooled people. They do not work."
I never bought a Flowbee, but I have fallen victim to can openers.
Many, many can openers. Pull-tops are my friend.
What products would you add to the list?
There's this amazing quote by Maya Angelou that we can all put into practice: "Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better."
This can be applied to anything in life, from learning more about a subject that we're passionate about, to practicing better time management skills, to being a better friend.
But there are some things that we may not even realize we need to do better... until we suddenly know better.
Cringing in anticipation, Redditor one-droplet asked:
"What have you always done, but later found out was gross?"
The Best Ice
"When I was like five or six years old I would love going to the grocery store with my mom because the vegetable and fruit and meat tables always had the best ice to chew on..."
"I work in a restaurant, and I try to grab a cup to get the ice before they use it for raw oysters and shrimp cocktails. It really is the best ice."
Toilet Paper Use
"As an Asian, I was always taught growing up to throw used toilet paper in the trash bin. It wasn't until I went on a school trip to Italy and the chaperone mentioned to everyone, 'The plumbing system here isn't as good as the USA so you guys are just gonna have to throw it in the trash bin,' and everyone went, 'Ew.'"
"That's when I learned that it was gross to throw toilet paper in the trash bin since the issue was you're basically having shit bits sitting around in a bin."
"All my life, I wiped my toothbrush on the hand towel to dry it up until my sister asked what the f**k I was doing."
"My sister used to scrub the bristles on the faucet where the water came out when she was done brushing her teeth. I guess to dry it off. I still cringe thinking about it."
That's Not Clay
"As a child, I would dig up bits of clay from the local sandbox. It wasn’t as good as Play-Doh, so I would cast it aside and continue digging."
"Maybe I didn’t have a very good sense of smell at that age, because I was well into adulthood before I realized it was probably cat s**t."
"I showered in a dirty tub. Once I discovered how gross it really was, my hoarder mother didn’t like it when I cleaned the bathroom, so I just lived with it til I was able to get a place."
"My hoarder mom was like this."
"When I tried to wash the nicotine off the walls in my bedroom, my hoarder parents were not happy."
"I waited until a towel smelled weird to swap it out."
"Look, the towel forgets everything before the next shower."
Self-Service Assorted Candies
"I used to really like those self-service lollies/candy buckets with the scoops. They were in most big box stores in Australia, like Kmart, Target, Big W. So much fun mixing and matching."
"But then one day I started working at Target. Every single day I caught old people and kids with their hands directly inside grabbing them out and munching down all slobbery-like. That turned me off forever."
"Though not too long after they started disappearing from businesses so obviously someone got the unsanitary message."
"I flushed my tampons my whole life until I was about 30. No one had taught me they weren’t flushable. I stupidly thought they were like toilet paper."
"One expensive and embarrassing plumbing problem later, I never did it again."
"Not brushing my teeth when I wake up. I would only brush my teeth after breakfast, and I would rarely eat breakfast."
"So most days I would only brush my teeth at night. I figured, 'Well, I brushed last night and haven’t eaten anything since, so why should I brush again?'"
" Then I learned about all the bacteria that feed on the tiny bits of food left in your teeth and they literally expel gas and feces in your mouth as they consume it. And this is what causes awful morning breath."
"So I have this mental image of bacteria poop and farts coating my mouth and have brushed every morning since regardless of eating breakfast or not."
"Brush at night to keep your teeth, and brush in the morning to keep your friends."
Not Just Yellow Snow
"Eating snow. Just take the same handful of snow you might see a kid stuff in their mouth and let it melt in a glass. Bet you wouldn’t willingly drink it!"
Don't Visit Everyone's House
"I sit on my couch butt naked when I’m alone watching TV at night. I mean I’m relatively clean but I feel sorry for anyone else that sits there."
Letting the Hair Fall Where It May
"I'm suffering from hair loss at the moment (51 Female) and I'm often absent-mindedly raking a hand through my long hair, glancing at what comes out and then dropping the strands on the floor."
"Just read on another sub that that's pretty disgusting to other people. In my defense, I work exclusively from home in my own small office and would never do it in public, but even so, maybe my husband thinks I'm gross."
"Wearing shoes inside. My family was not a shoes off family and they always wore outside shoes inside."
"I remember a few friends' homes were strict shoes-off homes, but I thought that was the minority."
"I was about 27 years old before I realized it was disgusting and people were definitely judging my etiquette."
"Double-dipping snacks. Pretty logical but only found out recently that’s very bad etiquette."
"Double-dipping is only acceptable if you’re not sharing the dip with anyone."
"Some things I've learned:"
"Wash my bedsheets every week, including bed, pillows, and covers."
"Only use the same bath towel twice before washing it."
"Use a new toothbrush head every month."
"Always wash my hands coming back from a store or public transit."
"And NEVER EVER go into a resort pool with a swim-in bar."
This conversation was so cringe-worthy and left us wanting a shower in the worst way.
At least for most of these Redditors, now that they knew these are gross habits, they've chosen to do something better.
Sources provided by health experts informed us to eat fruits and vegetables in order to nourish our bodies with energy, and to drink milk to ensure we grew up with strong bones and muscles.
However, nowadays, consumers are confused.
There seems to be conflicting information every day regarding the benefits, or harm, of eating the foods we were always told were detrimental to our health.
Curious to hear from strangers online about our misconceptions regarding the foods we eat, Redditor Meerkate asked:
"What are some foods that aren't as unhealthy as people make them out to be?"
People discuss everyone's favorite movie snack.
Pass The Popcorn
"Popcorn. For how good it tastes, it has almost nothing bad in it."
"You add the salt and butter of course, and those arent great, but you're not getting a super high amount of those."
"Adding in decent quality butter (not margarine) and a few shakes of regular salt is not unhealthy at all. The problem is with the sh*t that movie theatres put in popcorn."
Careful With The Seasoning
"My body started rejecting movie theater popcorn butter when I was about 25. That stuff will make you sh*t your pants and miss the end of the movie. Just salt for me thanks. Real melted butter at home or at Alamo Drafthouse."
"I love popcorn."
"You probably buy the kernels too but for those who don't, it's significantly cheaper and healthier to buy just a big container of popcorn kernels."
"Pop them on the stove top with a small amount of oil and sprinkle some finely ground salt (that's what movie theaters use for that magic flavor) and you're golden."
"It's super easy. I don't even add butter."
"You can also pop kernels in the microwave in a paper bag or in a bowl without buying the pre-bagged stuff. You'll never go back to those once you've popped your own kernels."
"An air popper works too of course, though that will definitely require butter."
Redditors talk about the health benefits of eating certain kinds of fat.
Not So Fat
"Fat in general (not the trans ones tho)"
"The low fat craze of the late ‘90s/early ‘00s has A LOT to answer for. My mom is still ridiculous about it. Yeah, moderation is good, but you can add some butter to your food so it’s edible and still live a long life."
Fat Is Your Friend
"Fat is a great source of sustained energy that doesn’t boost your blood glucose like other options."
"You really, really need fat in your diet for proper hormone regulation and other important body processes!"
Go easy on the carbs.
"Potatoes got several countries through famine! Probably alot of people associate them with fatty fries or crisps."
"Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew"
"Exactly this. High satiation and low cost. You can wash out a lot of the starch if you're worried about it."
Let's discuss fruity.
"I’m so tired of hearing people talk about 'all the natural sugar in fruit.'”
"I guarantee you this banana is healthier than potato chips and cookies."
"My mom has done basically ever fad diet ever, but one thing I do like about the 'new' Weight Watchers is that fruits, vegetables, and lean meats like chicken breast are zero points. I think the logic behind it is that there is no f'king way you're going to eat enough carrot sticks and apples to make yourself gain weight, so they're trying to encourage people to default to that stuff when they're hungry even if they're out of points rather than just starving until they give up and eat a bunch of unhealthy foods. Weight Watchers doesn't really work long term, but that detail is nice."
"I think its the fiber in fruit that makes it not as bad. Also, it has nutrition to make up for it unlike the cookie that's just all refined flour and sugar."
"There are scientific studies suggesting that not all the calories in nuts are bioavailable, so you might only get 75% of the calories! There are also studies showing they contribute to weight loss even despite being high in calories."
When I was told butter is actually a better alternative to margarine–which is known to contain trans fat–I started cooking more with butter.
I believe we can eat anything in moderation, so as much as I love smearing pads of butter on my English muffin, I take it easy.
When it comes to baking with it and putting it on toast, nothing beats the flavor of my favorite dairy fat.