People Explain How They'd Respond If Their Partner Asked For An Open Relationship
Many couples who've been together for many years will often look for a way to "spice up" their relationship.
Worried that their relationship has or is getting stale, they look for ways to reignite the flame that lit the fire when they first met.
One idea which is becoming more and more common among couples is to open their relationship up.
Allowing each other to see and have fun with other people, while remaining committed to one another.
For some, this proves just the ticket, as it opens up communication between the two of them, while also letting them meet new people and explore areas they hadn't with their partner.
For others, however, the very notion is a firm no, and the suggestion might even put their relationship in worse jeopardy than it was already in.
Redditor SuchShopping3828 was curious to hear how people would react if their spouses or significant others suggested opening their relationship, leading them to ask:
"Guys & girls, what would be your response if your partner propose open relationship?"
That Ship Has Sailed...
“'Why would you wait a quarter century to suggest this?''
"'Nobody else wants to sleep with us now'."
''Stop it'.”- AtLaw
Did You Have Someone In mind?
"Ask them who they want to f*ck."
"Unfortunately, this has happened to me before."
"Should have ended it there, but I dragged it out a bit longer."- Bobisburnsred
The Door Is That Way
"You are open to leave."- brianmmf
"Goodbye."- DeadFyreBye Bye Goodbye GIF by Jimmy ArcaGiphy
Those Vows Were Not Made In Vain
"My wife has a lot of medical issues, and at one point sex wasn't really an option."
"She told me that I could have an open relationship on my end if I wanted."
"My response was an immediate no."
"I'm married to her."
"I love her."
"There isn't anyone else in this world I'd rather be with than her, and that I would wait as long as she needed or indefinitely if that was the case."
"I am with her, not her vagina."- WardedDruid
Why? Just... Why?
Not For Us
"I once asked what my spouse thought of 'open marriages'."
"Yeah... neither of us like that idea."
"It's just not my idea of a good relationship at all."
"I am a one woman guy and always will be."
"If they would like any other man, or men than they can have them, just count me out of it."
"I couldn't ever fathom that."- My_Space_pageSeason 9 No GIF by The OfficeGiphy
“'Aiiight, imma head out'.”- SunburntGemz
Close, But No Cigar
"I suggested it to my Partner a while back."
"He has a very high sex drive, the medication I need to be on has lowered mine considerably."
"I wanted him to not resent me because I just didn't want sex very much anymore."
"We very much thought about it, even to the point of making up rules and setting standards."
"In the end he came to me and said he didn't want to do it."- bambiisher
That's A Dealbreaker...
"That would be the end of it for me."
"I can totally respect that being how someone wants to live their life, but that isn’t for me."- TapReasonable267830 Rock Dealbreaker GIFGiphy
"Weren’t we already in one?"- St_Vincent-Adultman
Is It Me?
"Probably break it off."
"I understand that monogamy isn't for everyone and I'm not gonna force it on anyone, but personally I'm not interested in an open marriage, and if my husband wanted one, the marriage might be too far gone."
"Even if he's okay staying monogamous, I may spend the rest of the marriage stressing over whether I'm enough, and wondering if he's getting what he wants behind my back."
"If his needs aren't being met, I'd want to have that conversation long before it gets to the point where an open marriage even crosses his mind."- VisualCelery
"I would terminate our relationship, whether it's breaking up or divorce."
"Saves the both of us a whole lot of heartache and drama."- tadadesaeHigh School Love GIFGiphy
Been There, Done That.
"Tried it once."
"Destroyed the relationship."
"Automatic no from me from now on."- aregularguy92
"My daughters dad tried this and then proceeded to give me an ultimatum."
"I was about 10 months post partum and my libido hadn't really recovered yet, not to mention I was at the PEAK of my PPD."
"It wasn't a totally dead bedroom but not nearly as often as we used to."
"He kept asking me for a threesome which was great timing considering my self-esteem was already at an all-time low."
"So naturally I refused and told him to never ask me again."
"He then said he either needs an open relationship to satisfy his needs or he wanted to break up."
"Soooo I told him he's not getting my permission to cheat on me and we're done."
"We still lived together for a few months for financial reasons but from that point on we were roommates and coparents."
"He STILL gives surprised pikachu face at the fact I'm cold to him."- Ok_Shame_8377
Some people can compartmentalize love, commitment, and sex, allowing them the ability to make open relationships work.
For others, it's a packaged deal, and the only thing that should be open in their relationship is their feelings.
Meeting someone new, even in the simplest of situations, is never easy.
Who doesn't want to be liked?
First impressions are everything.
So we need a list of all of the things that put people off instantly.
This way, we're all aware.
Redditor Nicole9391 wanted to hear about all of the things that send people running when they say hello for the first time, so they asked:
"What is an INSTANT turn off?"
I am always immediately turned off by people who don't listen.
Shut Up!Fuck You Season 4 GIF by FriendsGiphy
"When someone talks bad about their friends."
"Don’t talk about anyone behind their backs. If you are curious about something that’s okay but don’t say bad things about anyone even if you don’t like them."
"When someone asks you a question and you respond, they interrupt with 'yeahyeahyeah' and continue with their thought without taking anything you've just said into consideration."
"Why do people have a problem with just shutting the hell up and just listening for a second? Is your attention span that short?"
"This is me, but because I have extremely short memory retention and cannot hold a thought for more than 10 seconds. I’m a great listener, but when I want to say something, I NEED to say it and quickly otherwise I’ll lose it and feel annoyed at myself for a few hours till I remember a week later."
"Thinking people are below them. Not because of character or anything but individuals who just base their judgment on someone's socio economic situation etc. It's a big freaking turn off."
"Don't judge someone based on how much money they have, where they live etc. Judge them based on character."
"So yeah, definitely a**holes are a turn off lol."
Be the Change
"Unwillingness to learn or change. Intellectually or emotionally, people who cannot admit that they are wrong or don't know something. And by extension, making sh*t up because they can't say 'I don't know.'"
"I can’t stand know-it-alls! Especially when you are more knowledgeable/qualified on a topic and nicely explain to them the facts and they brush you off!!! Haughty little sh*ts."
Be CleanClean Up Corona GIF by Music ChoiceGiphy
If you can't have clean undies, just have none.
The SignSigns Zodiac GIF by HysteriaGiphy
"A 'it’s because of my zodiac' woman."
"Yeah I remember once my friend was trying to guess my Zodiac (I’m an Aries) she swore I was a Leo I said no. Capricorn? No. Oh oh! Sagittarius! I was like yeah! She said I KNEW IT! (With a brief explanation) then I was like nah I'm An Aries.🤣🤣🤣"
"Closed-minded people. Which there are a lot of. If you can’t have a nuanced discussion with someone then how can you connect with people? Being able to humor ideas and thoughts intellectually without being overly judge mental is a big turn on. And that doesn’t have to be someone who’s open minded about politics. I appreciate people who let conversations flow despite not sharing all the same opinions."
"Really bad or unclean teeth for me. Once met a really cute girl at a dark bar/club and we went for food after. In the well lit restaurant she looked even better until she smiled and in the light I could see that her teeth were a sickly gray color with a weird film of gunk all over and stuff in the cracks of her teeth as well."
"Literally reminded me of the orcs from LOTR. Pretty sure it was either from bad dental hygiene or drug use, or both but I instantly felt nauseous. A few crooked teeth is normal but when your mouth looks like an anglerfish I'm out."
"Poor hygiene in situations where you really shouldn't be displaying it. Sure, we all fart into our sweatpants and occasionally forget to brush the grease out of our hair at home, but going out and public and being gross is, well, gross."
Hell No!No No No GIFGiphy
"Smoking cigarettes Or just being rude for no reason. I don’t mind saying something slightly rude to be a joke and maybe it just isn’t funny. But if they are just rude for rudeness sake. Automatic no."
"Not having their own opinion always going with the flow Like I understand sometimes but always going with flow might just make you a boring person."
"I'm a go with the flow kind of person because I like very few things, dislike only a handful of things, and everything else I'm just indifferent towards. It's hard to have an actual opinion comparing two things you couldn't be bothered to care about one way or another."
"When I do have a preference, sure I'll put my two cents in, but I don't see the point when I don't care."
What have we learned?
First impressions are everything!
Anything you'd like to add to the list? Let us know in the comment below.
People Break Down How An Act Of Kindness Totally Backfired And Blew Up In Their Face
It's always wonderful to see people who do random acts of kindness for others, without expecting anything in return, and generally making the world a little bit better place.
But sometimes misunderstandings happen, especially among strangers or acquaintances, and sometimes our actions backfire, even if they came from the kindest of places.
Already cringing, Redditor UnorthadoxGenealogy asked:
"What's something you did out of the kindness of your heart only for it to backfire and blowup in your face?"
Past Job in IT
"I work IT. Naturally, people call you when their computer breaks."
"Of course, once you fix an issue, everything else that happens to that computer is somehow your fault."
"Replaced a laptop battery? Well, that must be why their hard drive failed six months down the line. Screw that. I don't work on other people's stuff anymore."
A Close Call
"I was driving into a petrol station and saw a cyclist lying unconscious on the side of the road, obviously having been side-swiped by a car. I parked, ran in, and told the operator about it, asked them to call an ambulance and police, etc."
"By this time a bunch of people had gathered around the cyclist, and while we were waiting, this woman started accusing me of being the one who hit him. Because, 'Why would you care so much about helping him unless you were the guilty one?!'"
"The police and ambulance came, and I saw this woman immediately run over to them and start gesticulating in my direction. The police came over and asked me some questions 'as a witness,' but I began to get a bit worried."
"Fortunately, by this time, the cyclist had recovered consciousness and was able to describe a vehicle that was obviously not mine as being the one that hit him. The police apologized for bothering me and said they had no further questions."
"The woman looked visibly annoyed and frustrated that she hadn't been able to get me in trouble..."
"I absolutely hate it when you lend people money and then they act annoyed and twist in a way that makes you feel bad."
"Doesn't really matter whether it is a big or small amount. If I realize someone isn't paying back small sums on his own and act annoyed or pissed, when you remind them (or when they even forget), then I usually do not lend them any money anymore."
"It shouldn't be my job to remind people of that. The thing is also that you can't win with those people. If you don't ask they will probably never give it back or at least drag it out for ages. If you persistently ask, more often than not, you get some undeserved snarky remark about how stingy you are or that you shouldn't take it so seriously, etc."
"Stuff like that ticks me off, but if you get agitated then you are the crazy one because you get worked up over 'a few bucks.'"
"A guy that used to work for us had no car. His wife needed to go pick up groceries. I had the flu and wanted to just sleep in my bed, but she gave me a sob story about not having any food at all (this was before grocery delivery was really a thing), so I told her I could take her for a few things."
"She knew how sick I was and promised she would just get a few essentials while I slept in the car. TWO HOURS LATER, she walked out with two carts of groceries and loaded them up. I groggily took her home and drive home and crawled into bed."
"That evening, her husband came to my house and confronted me about being 'really grumpy' about taking his wife to the store and being mean to her."
"I straight up told him I had the flu, I wasn't grumpy, I was half-awake, but don't worry because I would never run either of them anywhere ever again. Ungrateful a**holes."
"I had an old, lonely lady who used to come to see me at work. She was sweet and we would talk quite a bit, and she told me I was the only person who 'understood her' or 'took the time' with her."
"I don’t remember how this happened but I gave her my personal phone number for her to give me a call whenever she felt depressed or lonely."
"I ended up getting phone calls every hour throughout the night and day, which I couldn’t always answer because I had a job? A kid? I was sleeping?"
"Anyway, she then began leaving me very nasty voicemails that I had 'abandoned' her and 'was just like everyone else.'"
"It was wild."
New Level of Friendship: Unlocked
"I used to pop into a bar by my apartment after work and met a guy named Tom. At first, it was just small talk but eventually, we started having more serious conversations, and I thought, 'Cool, a new friend.' I gave him my number and suddenly my phone was blowing up every day."
"I was working full-time and had my own life; I couldn't drop everything at a moment's notice every time he called or texted and it was all the fucking time."
"The breaking point was him calling me on a Tuesday around midnight asking why I wasn't at the bar hanging out. Uh, because I have to work tomorrow?"
"Suddenly he was saying things like, 'I knew you were just like everyone else,' and 'nobody wants to be friend.' I just couldn't do it anymore. Like, I'm sorry you have trouble making friends but being hyper-clingy and texting me 50 times a day demanding we hang out isn't the answer."
Tough Luck Stories
"I used to be a sucker for a hard luck story."
"Oh, you need $1000 to buy a car so you can go see your kid? Sure, I got you, just pay me back."
"You need help buying Christmas presents for your kids? Sure, I'll help!"
"You want me to let you crash at my place for a couple of days while you figure some s**t out? I got you!"
"Every single one left me with no money, fewer friends, and a growing distrust of people."
Let It Snow
"Not my story, my dad's..."
"A woman went off the road & into a snow bank right out front of my Dad's auto shop, and he happened to be in a tow truck (he'd just serviced) with a customer. They went up to the lady to see if they could help, and she was on the phone with the police (laughing out loud) for a tow."
"The police came, and asked if they could pull her out as they were already there and another truck could be hours. They agreed, but they made it clear to the woman and the cop they would not be liable for anything. Just get the car outta the ditch and back on the road."
"Sure enough, after almost an hour of shoveling and laying in snow/slush to get this thing out, the first thing she says is, 'Oh, you caused damage, look, that's bent, etc., etc.' The cop told them to get the h**l outta there and he'd sort the lady out."
"Save someone a penny, and it'll cost you a dollar..."
That Mean Girl Energy
"I sat down with a girl who liked me in a private setting and explained that I was already in a relationship but would like to remain friends. She used that opportunity to tell my girlfriend (now wife) that I was cheating on her."
"This, of course, wasn’t true but she proceeded to make up a lot of s**t to start fights between my girlfriend and me. It almost ended our relationship until we had a long conversation and realized that everything we had been told by her was a lie."
"You’re probably wondering why I didn’t figure she was lying to my girlfriend sooner. That’s because she pretended to be my friend through the whole thing and would seemingly take my side. My girlfriend and I talked for hours, and when we did, we realized who was lying to us."
What a Catch
"I had an ex that lost her job and apartment. I told her (she was my girlfriend at the time) to come live with me if she wanted, so she’d have a roof over her head and access to necessities. I paid for everything under the premise that she would try and find other employment opportunities."
"I even bought her a car and paid for the insurance so she wouldn’t have to rely on public transportation, considering it’s not always easy to find a job in your immediate area."
"She was banging some dude in my own bed while I was working night shifts. Kicked her to the curb, sold the car, and used part of the money to buy a new bed."
Gotta Get That Insurance Info
"I saw an accident while driving through my neighborhood. Stopped to help the lady because her car was stopped in the middle of the road. The car that hit her drove off."
"When the cops arrive, the lady told the cop that I hit her. I figured she just made a mistake but then she told the cop some made-up story."
"The cops asked for my license/registration, and it took a while to convince them that it wasn't me because I had no damage whatsoever and the amount of damage meant that the other car was also badly damaged."
That High School Audacity
"Very simple but I had a friend in high school that was very upset that she had done poorly on an exam. Like full-on crying that she might not get an A (like she did well, but not up to her standards)."
"I got her her favorite candy bar from a vending machine and hugged her and told her that it would be alright, that she was smart, and that no matter what, she did her best."
"She, very coldly, told me to f**k off and that she didn't want a f**king candy bar. So I f**ked off and had a candy bar."
"When I was in high school, I offered to help a classmate who was struggling with French homework. I took time every week to help her with it."
"On the one occasion when I couldn't, she told other people that I couldn't be trusted."
"I have the perfect response for this post. While trying to break people up from fighting, I got my head smashed in myself. One of the two went full rampage on me, and I remember receiving three hits."
"The next thing I remember is me feeling blood drip down my face to see my eyebrow fully split open, the side of my face swollen, my jaw hurting, and my tooth broken off."
"I did not even know any of the two fighting people. Just wanted to help and have an evening full of fun instead of this s**t."
Paid in Good Ravioli
"An elderly woman in my exercise class (I am no spring chicken myself) who was always grumbly and stiff was complaining about her shoulder. She also mentioned wanting to get her kitchen repainted but couldn't afford it and certainly couldn’t do it herself."
"I love to paint and am not afraid of a ladder so I volunteered, thinking this was a good deed I was doing for an old widow in a small house."
"Well, when I went to her 'small house' to discuss the job, it turns out it was at least 3000 square feet with a gigantic kitchen. She also wanted the ceiling done. I had to demur, it was overwhelming. She asked if I could paint her powder room. I said yes to that."
"When taking a break from painting, she and I sat at her kitchen table and she talked about going on vacation to Ireland with her family. Wow. So she certainly could have afforded to pay someone to paint or have one of her 40-year-old kids do it."
"But no. This perfect stranger volunteered out of the goodness of her heart and got paid in ravioli. At least the tomato sauce was incredible."
Doing good deeds generally feels wonderful, unless something about that good deed goes horribly wrong.
And if any of these Redditors second-guessed doing a good deed in the future, we couldn't exactly blame them.
People Share The Hardest Things To Understand About American Culture
Though it's often used as the butt of jokes, there's still a lot to appreciate in the United States, whether you live there or are visiting.
But there are also a lot of things that leave onlookers infinitely perplexed about what it's actually like to live in the United States and why they do things like that.
Redditor DadIsMadAtMe asked:
"What’s the hardest thing for you to comprehend about the American culture?"
"School mascots. Where I live, we just have teams and just play matches against people."
"In America, it’s all like, 'GO, EASTTOWN EAGLES!!! OOGACHACKA!' and there would be some person in a cheapo eagle suit spinning a basketball on his fingers or something. You would have a full dramatic cheerleader dance-off before your match, we just shake hands and stare hard at each other."
No Child Left Behind
"Canadian here on spring break in Florida."
"I can't get over the baseline... I don't know how to say it, the baseline education level? There are smart people, but there are also completely uneducated people. Like, the divide is massive."
Little-To-No Paid Time Off
"Having two weeks vacation or no PTO (Personal Time Off) for most."
"In my current country, you have to take two weeks of mandatory leave in a row. Including public holidays, I get about seven weeks of vacation per year."
Financial Debt Culture
"How casual debt is, how easy it is to take loans and credit cards out in other people's names without their knowledge, and how casual it is to rack up huge amounts of debt."
Where's the Poutine?
"Americans love french fries, cheese, and gravy, but poutine never took off south of the border. Always found that odd."
"The zero-tolerance rule... Who came up with that s**t? The victim is the one who is f**ked. Either he gets bullied or he gets a penalty for defending himself."
"A lot of people follow and worship politicians like they’re gods with flags and all that s**t. In the UK, it’s universally acknowledged that we hate all politicians pretty much equally."
"Having to tip almost everywhere. It definitely makes sense at some places, but feel like we have to tip at the most random of places these days."
"I speak as a Latin American, just setting that down on the table."
"I don’t get why people think that using something from my culture or showing interest in Latin culture is 'cultural appropriation.' I’ve even spoken to a lot of people in my culture about this thing and we all think it’s alright."
"Your healthcare system, it's so complicated and expensive. And people going bankrupt because they get sick, what bulls**ttery is this?"
The Stereotypical American Eagle
"American here, fun fact! That stereotypical screech you commonly hear associated with the bald eagle is actually a red-tailed hawk. Bald eagles do not make that sound. They make more of a weird (way less cool) chirping sound."
"I was too old when I learned this for the first time."
Plus Tax... What?
"Why don't they include tax in the total price of something? Just include it and make life easier. I don't want to have to do maths every time I go there and buy something."
Not In That Exact Order
"You are allowed to drive a car at 16, own guns, and sign up for the military at 18. But alcohol, behold the devil's liquid!, is only for 21+. The math ain't mathin'."
Money Money Money Money
"Legal bribery, what the h**l."
"Also, why do you have to do your taxes? If the Government, in the end, knows if what you paid was what you actually owed, why not just tell you."
People looking in on the United States definitely had some questions about the people who live there and the systems they have to observe. But the big secret is that many Americans are asking the same exact questions.
People Confess Which Things They Swore They'd Never Do As A Kid But Ended Up Doing Anyway
When you were younger, your protected perspective on life and the world was probably significantly different compared to now.
Before life experience informed your decisions, younger you most likely had higher aspirations to achieve a specific goal or swore off doing something you found objectionable.
But here you are, as an adult, doing the exact opposite of what you had intended.
Curious to hear from strangers online about their developmental growth, Redditor 1234kyou_ asked:
"What did you swear in your childhood you would never do, but ended up doing anyways?"
Some hobbies that delighted us as kids never really go away as these Redditors have experienced.
The "Bird Creep"
"Birdwatching. I used to think it was the lamest way someone could spend their time when I was a kid. How could anyone just sit around and look at birds? What are you, some kind of bird creep? ... 20 years later and I'm obsessed with birds. Love hearing their songs and seeing all the beautiful colors."
"Give up drawing."
"I actually broke my own heart when I recently found a school project we did back when I was a kid. We had to write a letter for our future selves and mine starts with: 'Hey, did you become an artist already? I really hope you did not become a boring adult with a boring job who gave up on his dreams and passions.'"
"Well, sorry little me, but I kinda did."
Tending To One's Garden
"Gardening. We had a large garden. We raised and preserved what we grew. It was me and my sister's job to care for this garden. This was back when whipping your child was acceptable punishment. I was whipped sooo many times, because I hated that I had to grew and preserved vegetables I did not like. I hated it! Swore I'd never have a garden. Never do THAT to my kids. Then I had kids. A switch flipped in my head. I had to have a garden! I never made my kids take care of it. Gardening was my 'me' time. But being little kids, they wanted to be with mom and 'help' with the garden. I 'gave' them an area and they were allowed to grow whatever they wanted. If it was a fruit or vegetables , they had to eat it. As a result, they both love gardening and neither are picky eaters."
When it comes to keeping it in the family, it's not always the goal.
"I have become my father."
"I have become my mom.... even the voice is similar."
"I've taken on a lot more of my dad's cynicism than I would like, but mostly I have my mom's wonder and carefreeness."
"But my dad is rich and mom is poor."
"He does not share the wealth he just shares 'you should've done X like this'. But his advice is the level of 'tear down the sign punch them in the face and say you're looking at your new employee'. I've also never heard a single dad joke from him."
"When I was touring houses to buy before the pandemic, my mother's spirit must have possessed me because I opened my mouth and her voice said 'i don't know, i don't think I could live in a house without both a coat closet and a linen closet.'"
Adulting is hard.
The Financial Hole
"Get into debt I can't pay off."
"I said I wouldn’t curse unless a nuke was dropped on my house. That was a f'king lie."
Can't Wait, Don't Hate
"Have sex before marriage. Thank f'k I never made good on that one since I'm 41 and have never been married."
I'm a pretty fussy eater. Always have been.
I grew up in a Japanese family where regularly eating natto was a thing.
Natto is a Japanese dish made from Bacillus subtilis-fermented soybeans. It's known to have magical health benefits but the smell is overwhelmingly powerful, and the nutty taste leaves little to be desired.
Many people not used to eating exotic foods can't stand the flavor and slimy, sticky texture–let alone the pungent aroma.
I swore as a child that would be the one food I would never eat again after having a bad experience.
And yet, here I am as an adult, eating it for breakfast 2-3 times a week after truly understanding the health benefits.
Natto–which is rich in protein, vitamins, and minerals– helps maintain healthy cholesterol levels, reduces blood pressure, and can prevent heart disease. Some studies have suggested it can prevent certain cancers.
Once I trained myself to get used to flavor and smell, I actually crave it now.
It's definitely an acquired taste, but it's crazy to know that we are all capable of liking or appreciating something previously thought of as repulsive once we set our mind to it.