
Professional Chefs Share The Best Drunk Meals They Make
[rebelmouse-image 18359035 is_animated_gif=Chefs are heroes, which goes without saying. And TIL drunk chefs are culinary geniuses, and now I'm hungry. At work, at home, these professional food masters share their favorite dishes to make after they've hit the sauce.
bassben206 asked, Chefs of Reddit, what do you make when you're drunk?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Pasta with sauce and cheese is just pizza in another form. APPROVED.
[rebelmouse-image 18359036 is_animated_gif=Store bought tortellini, preferably Italian ham with a mega spicy tomato sauce and more parmesan than anybody should eat in one sitting. I mean like a half pound of parmesan. I love parmesan.
If there's a way to be paid to be drunk, sign me up. But only $12.50/hr to be a chef? Ouch.
[rebelmouse-image 18359037 is_animated_gif=About $12.50 an hour.
When in doubt, just put eggs on everything.
[rebelmouse-image 18359038 is_animated_gif=Basically I just sprinkle some eggs onto a pan of eggs and have it with some eggs or even an egg or two.
A timeless classic. And if tomato soup is involved, we once again have another rearrangement of pizza.
[rebelmouse-image 18359039 is_animated_gif=Grilled cheese.
I don't usually relate to chefs but...
[rebelmouse-image 18359040 is_animated_gif=Mistakes.
There's nothing disappointing about noodles. Ever. Send noods.
[rebelmouse-image 18359041 is_animated_gif=Hate to disappoint, but instant noodles with an egg.
There's no limit to what you can do with nachos while stoned.
[rebelmouse-image 18359042 is_animated_gif=Stoner Nachos.
Chips, shredded cheese. And whatever else you can come up with after out of the microwave.
Eggs are a great way to prevent a hangover.
[rebelmouse-image 18359043 is_animated_gif=Personally, as a chef, the best thing I do is take some eggs and whip em till they are super frothy, then just like Guy Fieri, I go to flavor town. Chorizo, veggies, seasoning. Then I pour it into a small circular oven pan and bake it like a quiche. Nothing quite like drunk eggs
And this magical egg concoction is now on my weekend agenda.
[rebelmouse-image 18359044 is_animated_gif=The ramlette. Take a pack of ramen and cook the noodles. While they're cooking, whisk together two eggs and the seasoning packet (you'll have a devil of a time getting it to whisk in but it will). In a nonstick skillet, melt ~1 tbsp butter and give the noodles a quick saute. Pour egg mixture over the noodles and let cook without stirring for a minute or two while you top with shredded cheese. Throw the skillet under the broiler until the cheese browns. The egg underneath will have cooked.
It's a ramen omelette. A ramlette. (Well, technically a frittata but the name rattata is already taken). Whatever you call it, the result is heavenly.
Spicy mac and cheese? Yes please. Bonus points if it's made with cannabutter.
[rebelmouse-image 18359045 is_animated_gif=Mac and Cheese with about fifteen extra ingredients.
Sautéed onions, meat (sausage is good but I have some leftover flank steak calling to me), real cheese (I've been eyeballing the last quarter of Camembert in the fridge), hot sauce (chipotle Tabasco is a godsend), etc.
Ain't no one too classy for drunk AF Mac and cheese.
Drunk fries - a step above stoner nachos.
[rebelmouse-image 18359046 is_animated_gif=Drunk fries, if you're still relatively coherent to operate a burner. Pan fry thinly sliced potatoes. Drown them in shredded cheese. Lid on, let the cheese melt. Plate. Cover in salsa, jalapenos, and sour cream, and whatever the hell you want. They're your drunk home fries. Ground beef and sausage are amazing on them, too.
If you're feeling adventurous and have a waffle maker, toss tater tots in that bitch. Top the same way you did the home fries and boom. Open face (or close faced if you've got a big mouth) sammiches sent by the gods.
Let's be honest - sourdough is the best bread ever, and this recipe can't possibly get old.
[rebelmouse-image 18359047 is_animated_gif=Not a chef, but I'm a baker. When I'm drunk I always make some new bread recipe that I think is gonna be so great but then I wake up and every single time it was just sourdough with a bunch of fresh rosemary in it and a buttery crust.
I mean, it's really good, but it isn't new or different.
The trick is to keep drinking.
[rebelmouse-image 18359048 is_animated_gif=I'll make my dog some simple chicken and rice with a small bowl of homemade low-fat ice-cream for her dessert. About the size of a shot glass. Then I keep drinking and I'll make myself some non-fat butterfly popcorn and pitch some at her. She likes catching it.
Finally, something I'm skilled at making.
[rebelmouse-image 18359049 is_animated_gif=A mess.
A true artist.
[rebelmouse-image 18359050 is_animated_gif=Typically whatever the customers order.
I'll take several baby angels, please.
[rebelmouse-image 18359051 is_animated_gif=I call it the Putellarito: toast a flour tortilla, spread crunchy peanut butter and Nutella on it. Add some whole peanuts if I have them and a sliced banana if I'm trying to impress a drunk chick. Roll it like a burrito. Takes 45 seconds and it's like eating a baby angel.
Can't go wrong with a BLT, and do salted tomatoes ever get old? Never.
[rebelmouse-image 18359052 is_animated_gif=BLT baby! Cooked bacon, duh, and bread fried in the fat. Sliced tomatoes with a pinch of salt on them to extract the moisture, makes for extra tomato flavor. Shredded lettuce, watch those not so nimble fingers! Hope you have some garlic mayo leftover, compile and stuff in your face!
For when the chef is too drunk to chef.
[rebelmouse-image 18359053 is_animated_gif=A bowl of cereal.
Mad respect to this chef and their sliding scale of drunk cooking.
[rebelmouse-image 18359054 is_animated_gif=Depends on the level of drunkenness.
Light to moderate: a frittata with bacon, potatoes, peas, and cheese.
Moderate to high: something pasta
High to sh_tfaced: crisp bread with a massive amount of butter on it and ketchup as a dipping sauce.
I'm declaring this the winner. Because Buffalo chicken. Buffalo anything. Buffalo anytime.
[rebelmouse-image 18359056 is_animated_gif=Buffalo Chicken Pasta! Some Franks Red Hot, some butter and some garlic heated up, mozzarella melted in and then chicken and pasta tossed into the sauce. Takes about 5 mins to make and never disappoints for the drunchies!
Life is full of disappointments. We lose out on a job opportunity or the one designer article of clothing we really wanted is not available in our size.
But we go on.
But the biggest letdowns are the ones we never see coming but must contend with.
Redditor Frequent-Pilot5243 asked:
"What is a depressing truth you have made peace with?"

No matter how much you prize a friendship, not all of them are for forever.
Here Today, Gone Tomorrow
"A friendship you thought would last forever can end in an instant."
– Febreze4200
The Best Mate Who Quit
"My best mate of 20 years, said that he didn’t want to be my best man and just said he didn’t want to be my friend any more. Hurt like hell."
– Gavindasing
It's Okay To Let Go
"Sometimes people you care deeply about will choose to drop out of your life and all you can really do is have the grace to let them."
"edit. to everyone struggling with being left behind, and to everyone struggling with having to be the one to leave- I hope the pain eases for you soon."
– girlloss
Restarting The Process
"I have a really hard time with this one. Every friendship I've had in my adult life has only lasted a couple years tops. Rarely a falling out or anything, but just drifting apart or sh*t happens type deal. It's hard for me to make friends in the first place because I'm pretty shy, so having to regularly restart that process is really discouraging. Right now I don't really have any friends because I've just kinda given up trying."
– plebeian1523
The harsh reality of losing the people we love hits home for these Redditors.
Grandpa Time
"My grandpa just wanted to get to know me and the man I was becoming during his last year of life. Which I was too young and too selfish to realize."
– MrMunky24
Lost Opportunity
"Yeah, this hits home. I spent 90% of my childhood with my grandparents. I was at their house almost everyday. When I got into my teens and obviously found friends, discovered women, all that stuff and then I just stopped seeing them. They’re both gone now and they died with the memories of me as a child. Although they seen me sometimes while I was older, they didn’t know me because I didn’t give them the chance."
– Loud-Distance-1456
In Grief
"My dad passed away 6 weeks ago and I will NEVER see, hear, chat or get to hug him ever again & that forever is a long time."
– somethinggood19
These sobering facts were huge disappointments.
Truth About CPR
"This is coming from a firefighter:"
"If you have to perform CPR on them, it's most likely over for the patient."
"I'm not sure if I've made peace with it completely, but I've accepted it at least."
– Rukhnul
The After Effects
"I've taken CPR training twice in the past 10 years. The instructors were so completely different... The second one flat out told us 'you're giving them about a 15% chance of living, and even if they live, they will probably have some kind of severe trauma that will dramatically decrease their quality of life.' Wow..."
– DavidAg02
Despite Having Good Intentions...
"No one is coming to help."
– _meddlin_
That Train Has Left The Station
"I'm aging nonstop."
– insaight
Innocence Is Gone
"My childhood is gone, and I have no good memory from that phase of my life."
– anonymoose_mrx
No matter what, life goes on with or without us.
The best that any of us can do while we're passengers on this giant spaceship is to take life as it comes and pick up the pieces the best we can when things don't pan out as we'd hoped.
Sometimes, it's about celebrating the small victories–like finally finding a store that has your shoe size.
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People Describe The Times Someone Mocked Them For Being Wrong But They Were Actually Right
The truth matters.
Something one would think was a given in modern society.
Yet all over the world, there are people so unbelievably stubborn, that they simply refuse to believe the facts.
Sometimes even when presented with evidence.
This could be for something menial, such as refusing to believe that a cotton candy was actually invented by a dentist.
But sometimes, refusing to believe the truth could have serious consequences, up to and including climate change, the effectiveness of masks, and the disproportionate amount of gun violence in the US.
Redditor Lady_Of_The_Water was curious about the many things, both frivolous and serious, people refused to believe were true, leading them to ask:
"Whats something someone thought you were wrong about and ridiculed you for it, but it turns out you were right?"
What's that smell?
"That there really was a gas leak in the apartment building."
"Thankfully, the fire didn't cause much damage."- yamsnavas2.
There's a reason the bill is so high.
"Our water usage at work went up a lot."
"They checked all the toilets, sinks for leaks, couldn't find anything."
"I mentioned that it seemed to coincide with the new water cooler system installation, maybe that should be checked."
"They basically laughed at me."
"That stupid water system never worked good and the guy came in 3 different times and said it was just the filter."
"Every month it needs changed???"
"Didn't seem right."
"Finally a different technician came in and result was it was never installed correctly."
"I asked, 'could that have anything to do with the increased water usage that started when this got installed?'"
" He smiled 'I wondered if anyone caught that, yes the valve was not correct and water has been running'."
"For 5 months!!"
"If only they had listened."
"Total redemption!"- McTee967.
Have you ever looked at a map?
"I had a coworker doubling down repeatedly, claiming that new Zealand is north of Australia."
"I even told her about how I had lived there and she just assumed I was such a huge idiot that I didn't know where on the globe I was living."
"Brought the smartphone out and put an end to that."
"Let me just say, it's ok to not know where all the countries are."
"The problem is if you heavily assert you are right and others are stupid."- PlopPlopPlopsy.
Is it supposed to hurt this much?
"My husband told me that I was a 'baby' about my IUD insertion and insisted that it wasn't painful."
"That my concerns about entrusting a stranger to shove a foreign object into my body were paranoid."
"I listened to him because really, the info you'd find online is overwhelmingly positive."
"Long story short: the provider placed it wrong, didn't check/fix it when I asked her to."
"I spent 4 years in pain that I eventually 'got used to."
"It expelled half way out my cervix, had to get it yanked out at the ER."
"That's when I was told that copper IUDs are notorious for breaking inside the uterus."
"Because it broke inside me."
"The cherry on top?"
"The female gyno with three kids I saw to get the broken piece removed told me that 'cervixes don't really feel pain' and that I didn't really need to remove it."
"Goes without saying, I was in severe pain for 2 weeks straight before this appointment."
"Tons of women came out with their stories about lawsuits over IUDs, how they got pregnant with an IUD."
" Stories similar to mine."
"And how women should really be offered anesthesia or pain pills for this procedure."
"And when my husband was surprised to learn about the pain I endured I reminded him 'You called me a baby and everyone else told me it was all in my head'."
"Which is why I didn't talk about it."- PopK0rnAndMMs.
Seems like you could learn something from me.
"In sixth grade chemistry a teacher asked us what element was a gas that was lighter than air, and extremely flammable/explosive."
"I grew up on science because of what my dad does for a living and Bill Nye."
"I knew about the Hindenburg, and so I was really proud of myself when I raised my hand and said 'Hydrogen'."
"The teacher laughed at me and said that no, it was Helium, and the entire rest of the class proceeded to laugh too."
"Almost three decades later I work in a lab now, and f*ck that teacher I was right."- vanyel_ashke.
The dictionary is your friend.
"I have worked as a translator and a proofreader."
"For one of my translations, it went something like 'and he piqued her interest'."
"My proofreader docked me for an inaccuracy and switched it to 'and he peaked her interest'.”
"I’m still salty."
"I tried to get the agency I was working for to remove this person as a proofreader since I question his/her command of the English language."
"Had a similar problem with the phrase “lynch pin” used metaphorically."
"I stopped working with that agency because it pissed me off so much being 'corrected' incorrectly."- spot_o_tea.
No, that's just an illusion.
"When I told my mom that the clouds were moving and she laughed like I was crazy."-
Did you even read the menu?
"I was in the passenger's seat at a Carl's Jr Drive Thru with a friend."
"He asked what I wanted and I requested the Fried Zucchini."
"He puts half his body through the window to the voice box and goes on this 'My friend here thinks you have some kind of food I know you don't have so I am just going to say it for laughs because you will get a kick out of this'."
"She wants FRIED ZUCCHINI' and starts laughing."
" Well guess who ends up eating fried zucchini."- User Deleted.
And how do you spell that?
"Believe it or not, the pronunciation of my own middle name."- ThePlantie.
We have standards in this community...
"Not me but my Mom tells a story about how she wrote a paper for school about how tough her small town makes it for any new people moving in."
"Basically if you didn't grow up there you were a social outcast for decades and were excluded from a lot of things."
"The teacher didn't agree so she got a bad grade and scoffed at."
"A few years later a news paper reporter essentially wrote the same thing and won a local award for calling out the same small town BS that was going on."- Jberg18.
It's pretty amazing that anyone in this day and age would jump to tell someone they're wrong without having any authority.
Particularly when someone can quickly look up the truth on their phone in less than a minute.
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First impressions can be misleading.
It's not uncommon to meet someone who might come off as cold or standoffish, who turns out to be genuinely kind and innately likable.
Or, on the flip side, meeting someone with an effortlessly charming public demeanor, who might be a little less charming behind closed doors.
But every now and then, there are clues from the moment you meet or first encounter someone which gives a clear idea of their personality.
For better or worse.
Redditor 123backflip was curious to see what signs people saw as immediate evidence that some people might not be the most friendly, by asking:
"What’s something subtle people do that lets you know automatically they’re an a**hole?"
Watch where you're going!!
"Switch lanes without looking."- yamsnavas2.
But you're such an easy target.
"Criticize you and laugh like it’s common practice or just part of the conversation."- oneandahalfeggs123
People just love me!
"Repeatedly telling everyone that you're 'such a good person'."
"If you have to constantly say that about yourself then you might not be that much of a good person."
"Kinda like the 'I'm a nice guy' situation."
"I had a team leader who would say that about herself."
"She's the reason everyone quit the team ,including myself."- grumpycoffeee.
"I'm right, you're wrong."
"Wildly overestimating their knowledge/competence, while also underestimating the competence of actual experts."
"'Everyone that works with ___ are so dumb, they should just do [this] and [this] but they only care about ___'"- chshcat.
"You're kind of in my way."
"Stand in the way of aisles, doorways, etc., then actually act offended that you dare say 'excuse me' when you need to get through."
"I get people sometimes loose track of where they are and don't mean to accidentally block access ways."
"But most people actually are embarrassed they did it and legitimately apologize and immediately get out of the way."
"Jerks however feel entitled to block the way and think you're the one imposing on them for asking them to move."- llcucf80.
"Cause you're there for me too..."
"They remember you are their friend only when they need you or need something from you."- SuvenPan.
Oops!
"Not apologizing when they found out they were clearly wrong."
"Destroying your property because they are entitled."- kitchen_clinton.
Ugh, can you believe him?
"When I meet someone who spends more than half their time complaining about other people they know."- ofsquire.
"Hey, you!"
"The impatient finger snapping that some people do to get someone's attention such as in a classroom or when asking for the check at a restaurant, etc."
"It's just degrading to snap at someone like that and instantly puts a bad taste in my mouth."- Sixhaunt·
It's always a good idea to try to really get to know someone, and not resort to pre-judgement.
But sometimes, one single action can simply say it all.
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We're always told to "respect our elders." In truth, many of our elders are wonderful and understanding people. Others are definitely not.
Many young people are very frustrated by older generations. Technology has taken its toll. The job market does not resemble anything that it used to be. The realities of the climate crisis continue to compound. Geopolitical events are raising tensions. Global inequality is at an all-time high.
Given all this, how can young people be expected to bridge the gap between their philosophies and those of people much older than them? People shared their frustrations with us after Redditor baker109123 asked the online community,
"Younger people are Reddit, what are you tired of hearing from older generations?"
"As a 29-year-old..."
"As a 29 year old, tired of older people telling me I’ll understand joint pain, tiredness when I’m older. I’m disabled and chronically ill. I have had bad joints since birth. Like it’s great that all your health problems are a result of your age but mine have been around and will worsen because of that."
supermeg77
It's true. Some of the older people don't understand that those younger are just as capable of being in the same (or worse) chronic pain then them.
"My mom and I got into a fight over housing affordability. " Your father (55)and I (53) worked very hard to afford this house (175k) and you make more than we did at the time we bought (1992)."
"The house now is worth about 1.5m, my mom didn't work and my dad made 100k/year. I make 150k and houses in my price range are 600k 1hr+ away from where i want to be and less than half size with less than half the lot."
x-Sleepy
Your parents bought their house at the best possible time. The income to house price ratio hadn't been that low for like a century and now is exponentially worse.
"I have more life experience than you…” then proceeds to go on an emotionally stunted rant based on their own personal bias due to trauma they refuse to process because “they know best.”
[deleted]
Oh, don't remind me. How many times have I heard that one?
"I am 44 but I still feel like I am young. I am tired of hearing pretty much everything my generation says. I don't understand when everybody else just suddenly morphed into their parents."
Hattkake
I am younger than that and am still wondering when some of the people around me morphed. Did this happen overnight and I just happened to miss it?
"Literally any and all job advice."
"Literally any and all job advice. Sorry, Deborah, but you've worked the same unionized position for 30+ years. The number of valuable insights you can give me about the modern labor landscape numbers somewhere between diddly and squat."
spenhizle
Been there. This is so frustrating. The job market is nothing like it was before!
"I'm a restaurant worker..."
"They're so judgemental and rude. I'm a restaurant worker and I swear young people are way more polite and easy going while older people have zero patience (even though they're the ones who are already retired), oftentimes make racist, sexist, homophobic and bodyshaming comments and still act like they're above the younger generation simply because they've been alive for longer."
dreamingofhogwarts
The respect they demand after such behavior is wild as well.
"I'm tired of people complaining about how younger people are terrible as though they weren't the ones that raised those younger people to be what they are."
photoguy423
Ah, logic! A rarity in this world, it seems.
"Then promptly ask us..."
"How we can't fix anything ourselves. Then promptly ask us to fix their WiFi, set up their new phone and figure out why their computer is running slow. We can do plenty, we just have a different skill set!"
[deleted]
This is an excellent point. Everyone brings different skills to the table. Why is this so hard to understand?
"I hate how we've gone..."
"I hate how we've gone from me getting facebook as a teenager and my parents being like "DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU SEE ON THE INTERNET" to them sending me "medical research" from unverified/unreputable sources."
ydmat3
And then they get very angry once they're fact checked. Who'd have thought?
"Buddy, I've been working..."
"Pull yourself up by your boot straps and work harder."
"Buddy, I’ve been working 60+ hours a week and prices keep going up and my pay is not and I actually cannot afford to change jobs, change my living situation, buy a more fuel efficient car, or go to college. There actually is no out."
"There is no work harder and I’ll make it. I’m literally in the poverty trap. I’m slowly making my way out of it but it’s going to be a long time unless some other opportunity magically appears. College isn’t the price of a McDouble anymore old man."
[deleted]
Ain't this the truth. Sadly, many people are in this people and far too few people understand that.
It's very clear that there is an enormous generational divide. The difference between those who grew up with the internet and those who did not is massive. We could all strive to have a little more empathy.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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