Professional Chefs Share The Best Drunk Meals They Make

Professional Chefs Share The Best Drunk Meals They Make

Chefs are heroes, which goes without saying. And TIL drunk chefs are culinary geniuses, and now I'm hungry. At work, at home, these professional food masters share their favorite dishes to make after they've hit the sauce.

bassben206 asked, Chefs of Reddit, what do you make when you're drunk?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.

Pasta with sauce and cheese is just pizza in another form. APPROVED.

Store bought tortellini, preferably Italian ham with a mega spicy tomato sauce and more parmesan than anybody should eat in one sitting. I mean like a half pound of parmesan. I love parmesan.

If there's a way to be paid to be drunk, sign me up. But only $12.50/hr to be a chef? Ouch.

About $12.50 an hour.

When in doubt, just put eggs on everything.

Basically I just sprinkle some eggs onto a pan of eggs and have it with some eggs or even an egg or two.

A timeless classic. And if tomato soup is involved, we once again have another rearrangement of pizza.

Grilled cheese.

I don't usually relate to chefs but...

Mistakes.

There's nothing disappointing about noodles. Ever. Send noods.

Hate to disappoint, but instant noodles with an egg.

There's no limit to what you can do with nachos while stoned.

Stoner Nachos.

Chips, shredded cheese. And whatever else you can come up with after out of the microwave.

Eggs are a great way to prevent a hangover.

Personally, as a chef, the best thing I do is take some eggs and whip em till they are super frothy, then just like Guy Fieri, I go to flavor town. Chorizo, veggies, seasoning. Then I pour it into a small circular oven pan and bake it like a quiche. Nothing quite like drunk eggs

And this magical egg concoction is now on my weekend agenda.

The ramlette. Take a pack of ramen and cook the noodles. While they're cooking, whisk together two eggs and the seasoning packet (you'll have a devil of a time getting it to whisk in but it will). In a nonstick skillet, melt ~1 tbsp butter and give the noodles a quick saute. Pour egg mixture over the noodles and let cook without stirring for a minute or two while you top with shredded cheese. Throw the skillet under the broiler until the cheese browns. The egg underneath will have cooked.

It's a ramen omelette. A ramlette. (Well, technically a frittata but the name rattata is already taken). Whatever you call it, the result is heavenly.

Spicy mac and cheese? Yes please. Bonus points if it's made with cannabutter.

Mac and Cheese with about fifteen extra ingredients.

Sautéed onions, meat (sausage is good but I have some leftover flank steak calling to me), real cheese (I've been eyeballing the last quarter of Camembert in the fridge), hot sauce (chipotle Tabasco is a godsend), etc.

Ain't no one too classy for drunk AF Mac and cheese.

Drunk fries - a step above stoner nachos.

Drunk fries, if you're still relatively coherent to operate a burner. Pan fry thinly sliced potatoes. Drown them in shredded cheese. Lid on, let the cheese melt. Plate. Cover in salsa, jalapenos, and sour cream, and whatever the hell you want. They're your drunk home fries. Ground beef and sausage are amazing on them, too.

If you're feeling adventurous and have a waffle maker, toss tater tots in that bitch. Top the same way you did the home fries and boom. Open face (or close faced if you've got a big mouth) sammiches sent by the gods.

Let's be honest - sourdough is the best bread ever, and this recipe can't possibly get old.

Not a chef, but I'm a baker. When I'm drunk I always make some new bread recipe that I think is gonna be so great but then I wake up and every single time it was just sourdough with a bunch of fresh rosemary in it and a buttery crust.

I mean, it's really good, but it isn't new or different.

The trick is to keep drinking.

I'll make my dog some simple chicken and rice with a small bowl of homemade low-fat ice-cream for her dessert. About the size of a shot glass. Then I keep drinking and I'll make myself some non-fat butterfly popcorn and pitch some at her. She likes catching it.

https://i.imgur.com/YKGH9CC.jpg

Finally, something I'm skilled at making.

A mess.

A true artist.

Typically whatever the customers order.

I'll take several baby angels, please.

I call it the Putellarito: toast a flour tortilla, spread crunchy peanut butter and Nutella on it. Add some whole peanuts if I have them and a sliced banana if I'm trying to impress a drunk chick. Roll it like a burrito. Takes 45 seconds and it's like eating a baby angel.

Can't go wrong with a BLT, and do salted tomatoes ever get old? Never.

BLT baby! Cooked bacon, duh, and bread fried in the fat. Sliced tomatoes with a pinch of salt on them to extract the moisture, makes for extra tomato flavor. Shredded lettuce, watch those not so nimble fingers! Hope you have some garlic mayo leftover, compile and stuff in your face!

For when the chef is too drunk to chef.

A bowl of cereal.

Mad respect to this chef and their sliding scale of drunk cooking.

Depends on the level of drunkenness.

Light to moderate: a frittata with bacon, potatoes, peas, and cheese.

Moderate to high: something pasta

High to sh_tfaced: crisp bread with a massive amount of butter on it and ketchup as a dipping sauce.

I'm declaring this the winner. Because Buffalo chicken. Buffalo anything. Buffalo anytime.

Buffalo Chicken Pasta! Some Franks Red Hot, some butter and some garlic heated up, mozzarella melted in and then chicken and pasta tossed into the sauce. Takes about 5 mins to make and never disappoints for the drunchies!

You May Also Like
Hi friend— subscribe to my mailing list to get inbox updates of news, funnies, and sweepstakes.
—George Takei