Whoever said that "you should never go to bed angry" has clearly never dealt with actual sleep deprivation. The idea of being so committed to your partner that you're not willing to rest til peace is achieved is a cute idea ... but sometimes, sleep is the best thing you can do to quell anger.
Anger combined with sleep deprivation is a perfect recipe for disaster. For people struggling with their mental health, this can be a particularly potent combo. What's said can never be unsaid and saying "sorry" doesn't actually fix the damage.
One Reddit user asked:
What's a common "life pro-tip" that is actually BAD advice?
and honestly... why do we even listen to advice at this point? Holy crap. Sometimes the "experts" are dead wrong.
Go Ahead And Give Up
Giphy
"Never give up." Sometimes you should give up. Sometimes you'll try your best and it still won't work out.
My ex has been chasing me for a fckin year.. including leaving notes on my car in the middle of the night and sending me long letters every other week even though I've told him to stop many times. They just go in the trash. It's sad - but I learned one of his friends encouraged him.
"Don't give up if you love her!"
All the rest can't convince him to just stop it.
I like the saying "if you're going to fail, fail quickly".
I think it emphasizes an attitude of learning from mistakes quickly and moving forward rather than blindly flogging a dead horse as is the case in 'never give up'.
My favorite version of this: "It's better to be at the bottom of a ladder you want to climb, than halfway up one you don't."
This quote inspired me to quit my career of 10 years and go back to school. Best decision I ever made.
Still Work
"If you do what you love, you will never work a day in your life."
Many people use this advice thinking they'll be able to easily coast through life and are shocked when they have to face the reality of it being an actual job. When you do something that you love as a career rather than as a hobby, it becomes much more serious and has more responsibilities. Sometimes it can even lead to you hating the thing you used to love.
This isn't to discourage anyone who wants to pursue a career in something they enjoy, like a photographer or a chef. If you want to have a career doing something you enjoy, that's great. But you have to go in knowing that it won't be all sunshine and rainbows 100% of the time. There will be difficulties from time to time and you won't have the same amount of freedom that you used to have when it was just a hobby. As long as you go in knowing that and are willing to adapt and work hard, you'll be fine.
I was able to create my dream job, be successful at it, and it still felt like work. I enjoyed it, and still enjoy it, but I have other interests and hobbies. I enjoy spending time with family, but really the word of advice would be if you have that Sunday night gut check, if you are resenting going to work, or hate Sundays because the weekend is over, you definitely need a new job.
It's okay to work hard, like 80% of it, but even with my dream job, there is still about 20% that I don't enjoy doing, but it comes with it.
The Problem Is You
Giphy
"Just be yourself" "you're perfect just the way you are" and "never let anyone change you" are double edged swords preventing many people from growing out of horrid habits or bad personality traits.
If a lot of people are telling you to change your behavior, chances are you're gonna fck up your life if you dont pay attention.
If one person tells you you're wrong, maybe you could actually be right.
If everyone tells you you're wrong, you're wrong.
Looks Matter
"Looks don't matter."
No matter how confident you are with yourself it is inevitable that people will judge you based on your appearance.
Nor is it an excuse not to care for yourself.
"Mom, the only people who'll notice are just shallow."
"Darling, just go brush your hair."
There is plenty to rightfully judge based on looks because it indicates other qualities that may be important to you in a mate/friend. Hygiene, hair, weight, clothes, posture, body language and many others are all things under your control. There is some wiggle room in terms of finance, genetics, etc but for the most part a person has a lot of control over how they look.
Think about what you do judge a person on as well, it is almost always on the aspects they can control. If you think someone looks like a gross slob because of their neck beard, dandruff, and messy hair those are all things that person can change. You didn't look at them and think their nose was too big or their eye color sucked.
Man Up
Man up always rubbed my the wrong way.
Its ok for a baby boy to cry but once they can walk on their own feet? Its shut up your a boy and boys don't cry...
Teaching boys/men no to express emotions leads to anger problems and the inability to properly communicate in a relationship. It's not right and if a boy wants to cry or be mad or anything other than happy let him. It might prevent another domestic violence case or just raise a good man
It's Not An Excuse, It's A Reason
I kind of have "no excuses" drilled into me but...sometimes there are legit reasons why you can't do something.
My parents drilled this into me so when i got extremely stressed and depressed in school, instead of telling teachers
"Hey, I'm not in a great mental state, can i have an extra day"
I just didn't do it and nearly failed half my classes.
The no excuses line really f**ks you up as a kid with a disability. Like, there's a genuine reason why my blind @ss self can't hit a tennis ball but I'm not allowed to make excuses.
I kept hoping that attitude would go away as I got older but honestly once I aged out of IEPs it got worse. Self-advocacy is a nightmare when you're shy and don't "look" disabled. I'm legally blind but I pass as sighted if you don't know me or see me in a brand new place.
I could get adaptations but I had to justify all of them over and over. It just got exhausting and my university's idea of helping was a letter I had to give every prof/ta along with the spiel. It made every class a chore.
Terms And Conditions Apply
"Love unconditionally"
Don't let this phrase allow you to keep people in your life who make you unhappy or treat you poorly.
No Means No
I think it would be have to be not to take no for an answer. You don't win every time.
Agreed, I feel like having someone aggressively refuse a no from me for trivial things alone would be uncomfortable after a while.
- _Dr_K
Yeah, sounds rapey.
My ex-friend told me that he had a crush on me over Snapchat. When I told him I didn't feel the same, he kept pushing me, asking for a secret relationship. When I made it clear I was not the slightest bit interested in that, he suggested we could stay friends, but we could cuddle, hold hands, and give each other cheek and forehead kisses. I, again, told him no, and he continued to push me.
I also got to see a new side of him after he finally realized I wasn't interested in him whatsoever. He started becoming a manipulative jerk, so he's not part of my life now.
The whole thing made me super uncomfortable and I'm glad I told him no. If he was that rude and persistent in that aspect, it worries me how he would have acted in a relationship.
So, yeah, there are times when you should take no for an answer. Don't make people unnecessarily uncomfortable.
At work we recently had to abolish an entire department and we're going to contract out for that position instead. We arranged a guaranteed interview with the contracting company for anyone who wanted one, so that hopefully they'd stay with us, just with a different employer.
One employee, Linda (who is a complete pain, apparently interviewed really terribly. She got a letter saying that she wasn't being offered a position. She immediately sent me (her boss) and my boss about 15 texts telling us we needed to "do something about this." When we were like yeah, there's nothing we can do, she then bombarded the person at the contracting company with emails angrily demanding an in-person meeting to "resolve it" and that she wouldn't take no for an answer.
Newsflash, Linda, that's not how you get a job.
Toxic Positivity
Giphy
"Good vibes only/ always be positive/ etc."
While positivity is a great thing, and it's better to try to be optimistic than being pessimistic, blocking out all negativity is just a defense mechanism to keep you from acknowledging and coping with the things that bother you. Don't let negativity bring you down, but also don't be afraid to experience difficult emotions-- it's just a part of life.
Cut Off
Cutting off anyone who is toxic to you. Yes some people deserve to be cut off but pretty much everyone we know is toxic or hurtful to us at some point in our life why not put some effort into fixing the relationship and maybe figuring out the root cause of the issue rather then ruining every relationship as soon as things go slightly rocky?
Frienemies
"keep your friends close and your enemies closer"
don't associate with those you have animosity towards. it really fucks you up if you're around someone or something you don't like for too long and especially if it's consistently.
Self Care
"Focus on school/work/taking care of others/etc now and do life later."
False. You could die tomorrow. Even assuming everything goes as planned, that way of life will suck out all your happiness, passion, and drive long before you have a chance to enjoy the payoff. Its important to allow yourself regular happiness and freedom. If you don't make time for self care now, you will be forced to make time for it later.
Kids
'Have kids, it brings happiness to your life!'
- Having kids is not pure joy at all, it is like having a super hard job that can be really meaningful and satisfying, but is not meant for everyone. It is a cultural taboo talking about the negative side of parenthood, but even researches show that couples tend to feel happier without children.
- A child is not a tool to make you happy. When you genuinely feel that you have enough to share and you have realistacally thought through what having a child means for your life, you might want to go down that road, and make a new - probably happy - human being.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
Giphy
Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
Giphy
See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
Giphy
Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
Giphy
Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
Giphy
The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.