Power Hungry People Share Inconvenient Rules They'd Impose If They Were In Charge
Power Corrupts
[rebelmouse-image 18358781 is_animated_gif=There's a saying: power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely.
But the idea of absolute power can be intriguing and perhaps a little enticing. Given the chance to be dictator for a day, would we do it? If we did it, what would we do?
Reddit user Deity_Of_Death asked "If you were a dictator, what kind of ridiculous dictator-like stuff would you do?"
People let their inner authoritarian out and came up with their own despotic to-do lists.
5 Step Plan
[rebelmouse-image 18358784 is_animated_gif=- People who drive slow in the left lane get their cars taken away and crushed in a compactor in front of their eyes.
- People who stand in the checkout line talking on their cell phone get thrown into solitary confinement for a week to learn the joy of peace and quiet.
- Vaccines are mandatory for everyone (except those with actual medical issues).
- American "chocolate" is hearby banned for all time. Only high-quality European chocolate may be consumed.
- And because I'm a benevolent dictator, free ice cream on Fridays. Good ice cream, not that stuff with 50-million ingredients.
The Darwin Purge
[rebelmouse-image 18358785 is_animated_gif=Assuming I'm dictator of the world (as that's the only situation where this plan would work), I'd pass a law both banning and requiring the removal of all warning labels. Our species is due for a culling in the next 200 years. Why not get ahead of the game and let natural selection do the work? A side bonus of said law would be the living population would inherently be more intelligent, because the bozos who need a sign that says "WARNING HIGH VOLTAGE DO NOT TOUCH" in order to not touch something dangerous will weed themselves out of existence.
Selective Breeding
[rebelmouse-image 18358786 is_animated_gif=As a dictator, I'd have the science developed to switch off everybodies ability to reproduce. They'd have to apply for a license to have a kid.
As long as they're decent, educated, and have the means to raise a kid, they'll get their reproductive capability switched on until the mother becomes pregnant. Then it's off again.
Yes, of course all alternative family styles are eligible. I'm a dictator, not a monster.
Castro's Cuba
[rebelmouse-image 18358788 is_animated_gif=Become obsessed with milk and dairy products, I'd import cows from Canada and breed them with local cows to create the perfect milk producing cow that can survive the heat.
Create an entire air conditioned facility the size of a football field to house my cows, ignore my peoples wants and needs to fuel my cow empire
Reverse Customer Service
[rebelmouse-image 18358789 is_animated_gif=Immediately every person who has never worked retail or restaurant reports for six months of training so they can know how to treat someone in those positions.
Religious Exhibition
[rebelmouse-image 18358790 is_animated_gif=Round up every multi-millionaire religious leader and put them on display in a public zoo.
Lactose Tolerance
[rebelmouse-image 18358791 is_animated_gif=Install a hamster like water bottle filled with my choice of flavored milk.
Education Special
[rebelmouse-image 18358792 is_animated_gif=Education would be much more important. No dropping out. No failing. There would be different tiers for different levels of intelligence. Teachers would be the highest paid state job there is with ridiculously high credentials required. Teacher to student ratio would be in a very desirable range.
Capital Punishment
[rebelmouse-image 18352473 is_animated_gif=My nation would officially be renamed Badassistan, and the only official law would be "don't be a jerk".
Fortunately, as the Great and Unimaginably Head Badass of Badassistan, I am the sole arbiter of what does and does not constitute being a jerk.
- Caught arguing about politics on the internet? That's a hanging.
- Ghosted someone 'cuz you're too much of a wimp to break up with them? That's a hanging.
- Refused to pet a sad looking puppy? You better believe that's a hanging.
Cattitude
[rebelmouse-image 18358793 is_animated_gif=Ban all religions except my own. My friends and I have started a new religion where we worship cats as our Gods. When faced with a tough situation, I ask myself "Would a cat judge me for doing this?" If the answer is yes I just don't do it.
Well, the best thing about this religion is that you can be anywhere in the world and believe and follow the same ideals. You don't need any official ceremony to enter the religion.
The rules are:
- Don't be an a-hole.
- Love cats and accept in your heart that cats are superior to you. You will never be as cool, smart and badass as a cat.
- You must attempt to talk to and pet any and every cat you see.
- You must watch cute kitten videos and share them with all your friends as often as you can. The more, the better.
Right to Work
[rebelmouse-image 18358794 is_animated_gif=Make it illegal to be unemployed, with the appropriate agency to help you get a job of course.
If you turn out to be poor for the job, you'll be reassigned.
With Salsa, Guacamole Extra
[rebelmouse-image 18358795 is_animated_gif=Taco Tuesdays are now mandatory.
Fight It Out
[rebelmouse-image 18358796 is_animated_gif=Every town center gets an MMA cage or wrestling ring. Two grown people wanna settle something with bare hands? Go on ahead.
Titles Are Everything
[rebelmouse-image 18358797 is_animated_gif=Look up some of the wacky titles that dictators have given themselves. That's the first thing I'd do.
Idi Amin (president of Uganda 1971-1979) gave himself this title: His excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of all the beasts of the earth and fishes of the seas and conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular.
Timeless
[rebelmouse-image 18358800 is_animated_gif=I'd abolish time. You get caught with a timekeeping device, it's hard labor indefinitely, because we no longer recognize the concept of years.
Get caught with a watch? Jail.
Flava Flav? He's toast.
If my secret police find so much as one gnomon or pendulum, you better believe you and your whole family are getting shipped off to the Pit of Misery.
In the Red
[rebelmouse-image 18358801 is_animated_gif=I'd have a massive fleet of stupidly expensive cars and the highways get a 'red lane'.
You are not, under any circumstance, allowed to drive on the 'red lane', EVER! The red lane is for me and people who I grant acces to it. There will be no speed limit in that lane, so I can go anywhere I please as fast as I please on the highway.
Fines for using the red lane without my permission can be very very expensive and I'll be the judge in court for when you used it.
Lord of the Flies
[rebelmouse-image 18358802 is_animated_gif=I would give every teacher the ability to pick one student each year to send to "The Island". The Island is isolated and inescapable. It may or may not be filled with dangerous creatures. There is plenty to eat and drink, but now the kiddos will only be able to annoy each other. Obviously the threat of being sent to The Island will motivate students and their parents and make public schools a better place to work. How about that for Teacher Appreciation Day?
Sorry Ted
[rebelmouse-image 18358803 is_animated_gif=Probably for every good action (like education or health care reform) one ridiculous action (anyone named Ted can no longer buy or consume ice cream) and enforce it with an iron fist. Need to keep people on their toes.
The Names the Thing
[rebelmouse-image 18358804 is_animated_gif=Give my country a ridiculously over the top positive sounding name like all the crappy dictatorships do.
"The Lawful Democratic People's Prosperous Republic of Letsgetblitzedopia"
It's the political equivalent of strolling and whistling to look like you're chill and not doing anything wrong.
Detailed Plans
[rebelmouse-image 18358805 is_animated_gif=- Rename all the days of the week and the names of the months after myself and my family.
- Make it illegal to wear yellow clothes on the first Meday of each month (except for Metober).
- Move the country to a timezone with a +27 minute offset from nearest neighbor and move the day when Daylight savings comes into effect around from year to year (just to screw with the people who maintain the time zone database).
- Switch which side of the street people are driving on based on astrological advice (without changing stuff like which side the doors of buses open etc).
- Spelling Reform (everything gets spelled the way I misspell it.)
- Rename major cities and geographical features after me.
- Have worship of me integrate into or replace the local religions.
- Crush dissidents under my iron heel (and my tanks)
- Surround myself with a cadre of beautiful amazon bodyguards.
- Hold elections where 110% of the votes go to me.
- Implement national health care and invest into educating many doctors and medical practitioners.
- invest into education to achieve close to 100% literacy.
- Make sure that a book written by me becomes everyone's new bible.
- Trick the CIA into assassinating people in neighboring countries that I don't like.
- Implement a great internet filter that automatically replaces certain words and phrases as well as pictures so that my subject who decided to search for porn online come away with the mistaken impression that everyone outside the country has really weird fetishes.
- Rewrite history books and maps so that Belgium does not exist.
- Introduce version of popular sports that have substantially different rules than everywhere else.
The Best Real-Life Examples Of 'Never Interrupt An Enemy While They're Making A Mistake'
"Reddit user Spinksy48 asked: 'What is your 'never interrupt an enemy while they are making a mistake 'moment?''"
People will trip themselves up eventually.
Because liars and lunatics always make mistakes.
They may be small mistakes, but they leave just enough room to expose their wicked ways.
Sure we all want to fight off an enemy and be the victor.
But sometimes the victor's greatest weapon is nothing but a little patience.
Then, we celebrate with a smile as we watch the crumble.
And maybe we have a little victory dance.
Redditor Spinksy48 wanted to understand the fun of letting your opponent lose by just doing nothing, so they asked:
"What is your 'never interrupt an enemy while they are making a mistake' moment?"
If the story starts to get really crazy, just wait for a break.
Then ask a question from the beginning.
I guarantee you know more of the lie than they do.
Just keep talking, friend.
Gotcha
Dashcam Hello GIF by TranscendGiphy"I let the lady who changed lanes into me run her mouth about how I rear-ended her before pulling the cop aside to show him my DashCam footage."
ThrowingChicken
A Cherry Wave
"I was accused by a neighbor of reversing out of my drive and hitting his car. He gave me the date and time I had allegedly done it and pointed to a (small) scrape on my car that supposedly matched perfectly the location of the dent on his. This was 7 weeks after the alleged event, by the way."
"I said it wasn't me but told him to contact his insurance and we'd see what they said. A few weeks later I get a letter from my insurance asking what had happened, to which I responded with the date I had bought my car (and updated my insurance) - two weeks after the supposed bump."
"He never spoke to me again but I used to give him a cheery wave every time I saw him glowering at his window."
Gazcobain
Speak Once
"In a meeting with my project manager who has not been in the office or worked a proper full day for MONTHS, she has increasingly been annoyed by people bypassing her to get things done by telling me and her other direct reports what to do."
"I was about to answer a question for stakeholders, and she told me to let her speak one sentence and will let me have my bit. I did as I was told, and she told the stakeholder a completely wrong thing about the system we were handling and made a complete fool out of herself. She got sacked this month."
choiaera
We Hated Each Other
"Guy stole a presentation from me, this is 25 years ago. We hated each other. When he started presenting I realized I had made a huge error, didn’t say anything. Let him get through it. Asked him about the error, but he couldn’t answer. This was in front of COO. Got fired, not for just that, he was an overall douche. This was before everyone was on PCs, and had one printer in one room."
Bmilvis
Whoops
Office Space GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"When a coworker who I hated got fired a few weeks after I decided to stop fixing his mistakes even if it impacted a client."
Hrekires
It's always thrilling to see the bad colleagues go!
Bye. Bye. Bye.
I will see you on the 15th
Idiot Reaction GIFGiphy"Not my story, but several years ago my older brother was fighting for custody of his son with his ex-wife. As the first custody hearing date approached, they were exchanging [un]pleasantries over text and my brother ended up saying something along the lines of, 'I'm not continuing this conversation. I will see you on the 15th.' The ex-wife told him, 'The hearing is on the 25th dumba**.'"
"So of course instead of correcting her, my brother just allowed her to keep thinking it was the wrong date, and she missed the first hearing entirely. It became the first of many mistakes she made in the court system that eventually led to my brother and the woman who is now his second wife winning full custody of his son."
Damn_Furries
Follow the Prints
"I'm working on a job site and the architect is there one day. I've been given some light fixtures for the sconces in a leasing office lobby. The fixtures are meant to be hung from a ceiling, they can't be installed on a wall. I attempt to convey this to the architect, but he brushes me off and just tells me to follow the prints."
"I turn to the apprentice and say, well you heard the man, put them up. A bit later, we hear the crashing of glass. The architect asks what was that? I said your light fixture. As I picked up a broom and dustpan to go clean up."
Ohhhhhhthehumanity
No Debt
"As I was being fired from a job, the district manager requested we record the conversation. He thought I was gonna be very upset, so I obliged. Then when he started to tell me why I was being fired he started with, 'You are gonna be graduating college soon, and we want to make sure we get ahead of you leaving us.'"
"I very calmly asked him to send me the recording right after he said that. Then later that day I called a lawyer. I now have no student loan debt."
JRTHEAMAZING
The Screams
"I reminded my ex-wife the divorce court was the next day and was invited to Get F**ked. So I went by myself, she failed to appear and pissed off the Judge so he asked what would be my desired outcome for assets and Custody of the kids. He wrote down whatever I wanted and I could hear her screams when she read the Orders from 3500km away."
comfortablynumb15
Silence
"There's a thing in law enforcement/legalese called a spontaneous utterance. Many many people will bury their own cases with these while bi*ching and moaning at their arresting officer on the way to jail."
raccoonsonbicycles
That last one is good knowledge to have in the back pocket.
We all like different foods, some of which might earn some side-eye from someone who doesn't enjoy them.
But some of our preferences could cross over into the unusual and strange for anyone who's never tried them, and for servers taking those orders, some food combinations might be difficult for them to accept as anything other than a prank.
And no, we're not talking about serving pineapple on pizza.
Redditor Repulsive_Compote955 asked:
"Servers at restaurants, what's the strangest thing someone's asked for?"
A Classic
"When I was cooking in the military, someone requested a BLT sandwich but with no Bacon or Tomato. He wasn't kidding, he just wanted bread and lettuce."
- Xiegfried16
"Here's your L, sir."
- Cutsdeep-
Seafood and Cucumbers
"Flava Flav came into the restaurant I worked at. It was a fancy seafood place."
"He ordered just a plate of cucumbers for himself, everyone else at his table ordered normal things. I’m guessing he maybe doesn’t like seafood? Hilarious."
"Yes, he wore a giant clock chain and he let the staff take pics with him as he said, 'Flava Flav!' Really nice guy."
- janeusmaximus
Salad with No Side of Purple
"Once had a dude order a large garden salad, look me dead a** in the eye, and very seriously said, 'No purple in it.'"
"I just acted like yeah, sure, okay, with no follow-up questions. I ended up picking out anything purple colored in the salad and very nervously watched him pick through it."
"He was satisfied enough and left a decent tip."
"I can never unsee purple things in my salad now, but I eat them."
- waffle-house420
The Mooing Burger
"He was staying at the resort the restaurant I worked at was in, so I had the privilege of attending to him several times over the week."
"He was Insufferably smug and condescending, several times saying, 'This isn't' what I ordered,' even though his order had been read back to him and confirmed. How many times can you order in a restaurant and get something you don't think you ordered before you start to ask if maybe you're the problem?"
"The most ridiculous was that he ordered a hamburger and wanted it cooked rare. So the chef cooked him his burger, and when I brought it out to him, he said, 'It's too overdone, redo it.'"
"So I told the chef, and he made a rare burger, he sent that one back, too."
"Then the chef was p**sed, so he made a patty of raw hamburger and waved a torch over it so it was barely brown and ice cold in the middle."
"The f**ker loved it and said it was the best burger he ever had. Still complained about how long it took to get his meal, though."
"I still remember the chef saying, 'If that's what he wanted, he should have ordered a tartare aller-retour, is it too much to ask that people learn the name of the weird thing they like to eat?' (I have to look up that name every time I tell this story.)"
- McFeely_Smackup
The Inappropriate Order
"When I went to take an order from two men, one grabbed my thigh and said, 'I’ll have you. You look meaty.'"
"The other guy at the table was mortified. I was unamused."
"The other servers wanted to take the table off me but I wasn’t traumatized… just annoyed."
- Bonnieearnold
Flat Water Only
"A middle-aged lady insisted she didn’t like soda water or sparkling water so instead asked for a white wine spritzer without the white wine…"
"There are two ingredients to a white wine spritzer. White wine and soda water."
- rohothemadlad
Cloth Napkins Needed
"In my teen years, I worked at a family restaurant. One day at breakfast an elderly woman came in and just ordered toast with orange marmalade and asked if we had a cloth napkin."
"We only offered paper napkins, but she was very nice, so I found a cloth napkin in the back."
"After spreading out the cloth napkin on the table, from her purse she pulled out a framed picture of an elderly man in an old-style army uniform. She propped up the picture on the table and ate her toast and marmalade with her passed husband by her side."
"I had to go into the back and cry, and when a concerned co-worker asked me why I was crying, she started crying too when I told her about the lady."
- RockPaperLaserPewPew
The Oh No Burrito
"In college, I worked at a burrito shop on campus. One night this guy who was stoned out of his mind ordered a burrito with everything on it, 3x salsa, sour cream, extra beans, meat, rice, everything."
"I could barely wrap the burrito. He walks over and sits at a table and takes one bite and all the burrito contents shot out the bottom."
"He just went, 'Oh no,' and then just started eating it out of his lap and off the table. It was entertaining to watch."
- OneBrokeGuyWh**e
Double the Steak, Double the Fun
"Once a very thin, middle-aged woman came in. She couldn't have weighed more than 100 pounds soaking wet."
"She asked what our biggest steak was. I told her it was the 24 oz. ribeye. She said, 'Okay, I'll have that.'"
" Our steaks came with two sides, so I asked which ones she'd like. She said, 'I don't want sides.' I told her they were included in the price, and she still refused them."
"I brought out her steak and she began eating. She got about a third of the way through when I asked, 'How is everything?'"
"She said, 'Great. Bring me another steak.'"
"I asked, 'Is there anything wrong with that one?'"
"She said, 'No, it's great. I want a second one.'"
"I went back to the chef and told him, and he couldn't believe it. But we served her another steak. She ate all 48 oz. of steak and left me a $40 tip."
- shadownome396
No Small Items
"This man told me he couldn’t have anything that has been 'ground up' at some point. So like, can’t use anything with flour in it. Not because of the gluten, but because it was made small at one point."
"My man, that is not a thing."
- Saltyseabanshee
A Hot Salad
"We had a woman send a grilled chicken salad back because it was cold. So we cooked some new chicken and made sure to send it back while still warm. She sent it back again. The entire salad wasn't hot enough for her."
"We microwaved her salad. She ate it. I don't know, man."
- honestnt
Chicken Noodle Dog
"Chili dog, sub chicken noodle soup for chili."
"She took a bite and said, 'Oh, I made a mistake.'"
- pollyp0cket
The Water Habit
"The place I worked at had little water cups on the table and we kept them filled for customers. I sat a party of two women (who said they were waiting for a third person) and went to fill their water cups."
"When I asked if I should fill the third one or wait for the third person to arrive, one woman said, 'Oh, no need, he's trying to quit.'"
"I thought it was a joke, and when the third person (a man) got there, I went to fill his water. He said, 'No, don't fill it, I'm trying to quit water!'"
- horton_hears_a_homie
The Blended Special
"Guy came in with a large group, must’ve had a recent surgery or something cause he asked for his meal to be blended. He ordered a lasagna..."
- rainysunbun
Shark Tour on the Side
"Honestly, I'd say the weirdest thing was that while I was a server at a restaurant in the Royal Hawaiian, a guest asked me to book a shark adventure tour. It had nothing to do with my job or even the hotel. Those tours were entirely separate businesses."
"I took his black card, went to guest services, picked up a pamphlet, and booked the tour."
"He tipped me $250 dollars. Totally worth it!"
- jreed356
People have all sorts of interesting tastes and needs when it comes to food, so some wild orders can come through the kitchen from time to time.
At least this leaves servers with some interesting stories they can tell over and over again, which is more than many people get in other lines of work.
We know that not all relationships are destined to last forever.
What might begin as an endearing quality becomes annoying, or what starts off feeling like a minor inconvenience might grow to be a serious dealbreaker with time.
Changes like this can end a relationship, and they can do serious damage to the relationship along the way, like to the couple's communication skills, quality time together, and even their sex life.
Redditor Acrobatic_Month_1563 asked:
"What ruins sex life in a marriage?"
The Final Straw
"10,000 little unaddressed disappointments, which drain communication, which fosters negative assumptions, which breeds coldness, which turns to resentment."
"The sex obviously becomes ungood."
- NotSadNotHappyEither
Communication Is Key
"As someone who separated from his wife four.... days ago, communication is a big part of it."
"Communicate clearly that something is wrong, and work to improve little things. Learn about love languages and how to speak your partner's language. I would speak my own to her and she wasn't receptive because she wanted something else."
"Be self-aware so you know when something is bothering you, and tell them right away, don't wait until it's a big deal. Don't be defensive, be open to listening to everything. There's a ton of healthy relationship advice out there but it takes effort."
- crispyconcerto
"Communicating when things are wrong is very important, but it's also a balancing act. There is such thing as communicating too many problems, too often."
"For example, my wife was very very good at pointing out things about me that bothered her. Which is a good thing, normally. But she did it so much, about even the simplest little petty things, that it really made me feel like there was nothing about me or anything I did that was 'right' to her."
"And it also caused me to never point out anything about her that upset me because I didn't want to make her feel the way she was making me feel. So it was just all-around bad: too much communication from her, too little from me."
"And not everything always needs to be a serious, sit-down, heart-to-heart conversation, like, 'Okay honey, I understand now that I didn't center the salt shaker in the middle of the table the way you like it, I'll do it better next time, but do you really need to pull me into the other room and sit me down and have a 25-minute conversation about it, every time?'"
"I think the sweet spot is really somewhere in the middle."
- Asleep_Onion
Stress Goes Both Ways
"Stress. Kids, work, finances, or any other kind of stress. Kiss your libido goodbye until you figure out how to deal with it."
- OrangeMarmalade
"For some people, sex is how they release their stress. For others, they can't have sex if they're feeling stressed. Figure out which you and your partner are."
- JustTheTipAgain
The Nuances of Intimacy
"Not focusing on the intimacy and emotional safety outside the bedroom. The actual act of sex is the shortest part of the sexual process in my case."
- TacoTacoMi
"I've heard it said, 'Foreplay is constant.' Flirting is foreplay, being civil and polite with waitstaff is foreplay, eye contact and reflective listening are foreplay, getting the door is foreplay, bringing a big umbrella on a rainy day date is foreplay, walking them to their car is foreplay, and texting goodnight is foreplay."
"Foreplay begins the moment you begin communicating, so do it wisely and with good intention."
- Crom_Committee
No Emotional Investment
"I will never understand how people can end up with someone they just... don't care about. You don't need to know every single like and dislike, but damn. "What comfort foods my wife likes" should be an easy win."
- Luminaria19
"Dude, I literally overheard this conversation at the grocery store today that makes me wonder how people like this can get married. Let's call them Bill and Dave."
"Bill - What chips are you gonna get?"
"Dave - Uhhh, tostitos with dip."
"Bill - Okay, do your kids like those, though?"
"Dave - I don't know, probably."
"Bill - Well, maybe get them something that they like."
"Dave - Yeah, I'm getting Cheetos, too."
"Bill - Do your kids like those?"
"Dave - Probably, they're Cheetos. I'm sure they like them."
"Then, at the checkout line..."
"Dave - Gotta get some chocolate, it is shark week after all.' Then he proceeds to seemingly pick three chocolate bars at random."
"Bill - Yo, that bar is heavy on the toffee flavor. It's a unique preference, does your wife like toffee?"
"Dave - I don't know, the other two have peanut butter, though."
"Bill - Does she like peanut butter?"
"Dave - Sure, I mean, who doesn't? She likes it once a month at least.' And chuckles."
"Bill has the look on his face like he did the biggest facepalm ever."
"And here I am having online dates cancel on me the day of..."
- TacoTaconomio
Neglected Needs
"If you or your parent neglect each other's needs and fail to communicate, then it becomes a cycle. The time set aside for sex turns into arguments or relationship maintenance and sex falls by the wayside."
"Kids, marriage, getting fat, and not taking care of yourself don’t actively kill the relationship, but they don’t help, but once you stop putting in the effort to please your partner, things stagger on and begin to die."
- KeyStoneLighter
Mental Health Concerns
"Depression."
- SilionOwl
"This is my first thought. We still had an active sex life throughout our kids' childhood. Grief and depression killed our libido. Mine is coming back, but hers isn't. And I don't function unless I feel wanted."
- CountDown60
Relationship Over in One Word
"Resentment."
- lowercaseb86
"A lot of my hetero couple friends have divorced because the guy didn't do housework or childcare. That really builds up the resentment and sex suffers."
- raisinghellwithtrees
Taking Advantage of a Good Routine
"Routine. Unfortunately routine keeps you healthy and mentally focused."
- GiverTakerMaker
"We always have sex in the afternoon on Sunday. Yes, it is a routine but because we both know the routine, we both know not to let people come over or schedule things during that window of time. That's our time. H**l, even our little dog knows to leave us alone then."
- urgent45
When the Chase Ends
"Too many people stop romancing and dating their partners once they get married. Passionless sex is boring and mechanical."
"They say, 'My partner never wants sex anymore.' Well, when's the last time you did anything to help them feel excited about you?"
- v3sk
"I mentioned that to my husband about two and a half years after we married."
"He literally told me, 'I don't have to do that anymore. I married you.'"
"Then there was the excuse of no time and no money. I fixed those problems."
"Then it was, 'I'm too busy. I need to start a business.' So it never happened."
"Over time, my sex drive dwindled, and my resentment grew. Then he was angry about it. That killed it faster."
"Years went by of once-a-week sex, and he was resentful. I was resentful."
"I wanted to fix this. According to him, the whole entire problem was the lack of sex. That will fix everything."
"So you know what I did? I had sex every single day for two months straight. Then we got into an unrelated argument, and he said he never had enough sex during our marriage, and if we both just 'take care of our responsibilities,' everything would be fine."
"So uhm... I guess add entitlement to that."
- Tough_Music4296
Other Obligations
"Kids and work. The whole bedtime routine isn’t exactly a sex-driver, and when they’re asleep, it’s more tempting to just relax after a long day, before falling asleep yourself."
"To get any sex going here, we need to plan for it, and spice things up with lingerie."
- DrAquaSquid
Not That Kind of Roleplay
"Treating your wife like your mother (or a rival sibling) and then expecting them to be attracted to you when you're horny."
- imightbeyourmomma
"Everyone is saying 'the same routine,' but no one is mentioning how absolutely unappealing in every way it is for a man to treat you like you’re his mother/caretaker."
- hec_ramsey
"It should be mentioned more. Though, for the people who read this and decide to get their act together just for sex, don’t bother."
"It isn’t hot either when you know the adult you live with is only putting the dishes in the dishwasher to get sex, rather than respecting the life you are building together."
- nothing_is_perfekt
Chronic Pain
"Constant joint pain. Nothing kills the mood more than getting interested and then having shooting pain in the shoulder or knees."
"Sucks getting old."
- DistinctRole1877
Not Enough Variety
"Not trying new things, years of the same thing can end up with the mind (and some other things) wandering. Not saying it has to be frequent, but occasionally mixing it up is good."
- MonkeyDDeclan
Weak Promises Aren't Sexy
"When they no longer are a person of their word. Few people mention how damaging things like that are to attraction."
"To elaborate a slight bit, my mind was talking more about when someone stops following their dreams, gets complacent, says they'll do better for themselves, AND DOES NOT because they don't take themselves seriously."
- just-going-with-it
"Yes, it was bad enough that he did not value his word, but totally broke my heart when he had the same approach with the kids too. If you don't mean it, don't say it. Worse, don't promise it."
- Experiments-Lady
As fun as relationships are meant to be, they are a lot of work, as well, and require not only continuous commitment to their partner but to keeping the relationship healthy, as well.
Couples who continue dating each other, respect one another, and adapt their relationship with the times are probably the ones who are going to be the most successful and happily married.
Communication and trust are keys to a long-lasting relationship.
But even the best relationships are not without their secrets. Depending on the situation, some information is better left unrevealed so as to protect the relationship.
But is that a violation of trust–even if ignorance is bliss?
That's something that was explored after Redditor spinx248 asked:
"What’s a secret you’ll never tell your spouse or SO?"
Redditors came clean with their emission admissions.
"Remember when we were engaged and visited your mom in the hospital, and she let a fart so rank that your eyes watered and we still talk about it 20 years later?"
"That was me."
– Sarah-JessicaSnarker
It Was Coming From Inside The House
"That I farted and him checking the entire house as well as asking the neighbors if they smelled anything because he thought 'it could be a gas leak' was a waste of time."
– missnewbooty_
These secrets kept the relationship alive.
Monster-In-Law
"Her mother was interfering in our marriage constantly."
"I had an appointment with a lawyer to talk over options for divorce because I couldn't stand it anymore."
"Then her mother died suddenly. Heart attack."
"After the funeral, things got better...and here we are now married for 3 decades."
"She doesn't need to know."
– toTheNewLife
Early Bird
"How we really met…"
"He thinks a mutual friend decided to play matchmaker, which is true, but not the full picture."
"A friend of mine sent screenshots of my SOs dating app profile saying 'I’ve just found your future husband' some light googling led me to discover we shared a mutual friend, I spoke to him and he played matchmaker."
"6 years later, I’m never telling him that I basically stalked him first…"
– caca_milis_
There's no harm in keeping these private.
Potential Game-Over
"That I left the Nintendo Switch you gifted me on a bus. The Switch that you see me using is a replacement that I bought on ebay."
– TurtleGlobe
Pretend Hero
"Sometimes when I shake the kleenex outside, the spider isn't in it."
– ALighterShadeOfPale
"Hahaha once my husband captured a spider i was too scared to get. I was cowering down the hallway when inheard him say 'oops' then a slightly insincere"got 'em" but just a beat too late to be true."
– nebbeundersea
Redditors hid their clumsy attempts to make things right.
H2O-ohhh
"That one time when went camping for 3 nights I left the garden hose on at home full blast and we got a $700 water bill."
– poppinwheelies
Clumsy Repair
"That I chipped our wonderful granite quartz counter (that he picked out) and filled it with white putty. I will take this to my grave."
– Arrowings
Ignorance is bliss, forever and always.
Secret Ingredient
"Early on in our relationship, I made breakfast for my then Girlfriend and her kids using some pancake mix she had in the pantry. After making the pancakes and serving to them, I went to mix up a little more to make mine...and I realized there were some maggots in the dry mix."
"They were pretty much done eating, and telling me how good they were...I decided that ignorance was better than telling them. Taking that one to my grave."
– camafu
Secrets are tricky, but like all other types of confidential information, they have a tendency of slipping out.
A possible breakup can either be blamed on the nature of the secret itself or the deception of concealing it from a significant other.
If you have a secret you're keeping from your loved one, you may want to consider if it's worth coming clean.
On one hand, it can be risky if a hurtful truth can jeopardize the relationship. But think of the advantage of voluntarily owning up to the truth and earning more respect from your SO.
Something to think about.