Police Officers Share Their Strangest Experiences With The Paranormal

Security guards and first responders keep watch over people or property.
Working alone in dead silence and in dark places or responding to emergencies can play mind tricks, but these professionals are trained to remain focused.
Curious to hear from people who work in protective professions, Redditor L3n777 asked:
"Police, security guards, paramedics etc - Have you ever been called out only to realise it was a seemingly paranormal incident? What happened?"

Something spectral or something from another galaxy?
You decide.
The Darting Light
"Marine stationed in Japan back in 2010-12."
"I was military police. One night around 2-3 am we hear over the radio 'uhhhh. Any units seeing the light over the water south?' It was a marine air station based on the southern tip of Japan. We had no flights coming in or going out that night. Everyone knew there shouldn't be a light flying over the waters."
"So about 3 patrol cars met up at the air field where there was a way better view. Sure as sh*t there's a light sitting out over the water blinking slowly off and on. Some guys tried to say it was a star, so we had traffic control cameras from dispatch zoom in on it."
"Turns out it was slowly moving out of the cameras. So while by ehe we couldn't tell it was moving, the cameras picked it up. We sat there kind of amazed for an hour before it went away."
"As we were getting back into the squad car I took a last look at the night sky and saw a small light dart behind some clouds in a movement that didn't make sense. I didn't tel the other guys, just thought there's no way they would believe me."
"Months later I was running on the sea wall and stopped to lay down and catch my breath. Again saw a light, watched it drive into some clouds and then disappear. That was around the time of the tsunami and Fukushima. Super weird."
– Majestic-Science-220
Extra-terror-estrial
"Not a responder, but lived next door to one who is very famous in our hometown for his alien abduction, but there are other stories, too. This all went down in the 80s, rural England, and my memory of the exact details are fuzzy (been a while since anyone has bothered discussing it, small hometown and everyone knows and is over it)."
"The alien abduction story is that he was on the way back from a call out, saw some odd lights on the road ahead and had to stop, a one track road. He went to investigate the lights as any good police officer does, and next thing he knows it's a half hour later and he's back in his car seat, car facing the other way, some odd substance on him, no lights to be seen."
"The police dispatch also confirm that his radio frequency just disappeared for that half hour. The substance was tested and didn't match any known profile (I really have no idea what that really means or what tests were)."
"At around the same time, this officer and some others were called out by a farmer whose cows had disappeared. Yes, very stereotypical cows in a tractor beam story. But the farmer reported them missing, multiple police show up, gate is locked and no cows."
"They all decide to drive around looking for the cows. The paranormal magnet officer reports that thing where you keep trying to drive somewhere but always end up back where you were when it shouldn't be possible on his route, but they all convene back at the field at the end of shift."
"The cows are back, though none of the officers found them and nobody called in to find them. And remember, paranormal officer has seemingly been driving past the field on a loop all night. The farmer was also unaware when they called to ask him. Totally sounds like the farmer pulled a prank, except it was raining that night and there was loads of wet mud building at the edge of the field where the gate is, and not footprints or hoof prints, and the cows were dry, too."
"The last story I have the vaguest recollection of, I think it happened some years earlier and the paranormal officer was called to the discovery site. It is mostly about a different guy, a farmhand who was an immigrant who disappeared without a trace and then appeared several days later and miles away, dead, with burns and another unidentifiable substance all over his body, dumped at the top of a pile of coal."
"Again, no sign of anyone climbing up the very precarious pile of coal. And no sightings of this farmhand getting from the farm to a different town - one road, and he didn't seem to be on it at any point. He was in the same clothes but appeared to have undressed then been redressed by someone else."
"Autopsy couldn't find a cause of death, it wasn't the burns, and he was like, barely dead (no rigor mortis) when discovered. Edit: Should probably add that the official answer to the farmhand death was spontaneous ball lightning, itself a weird theory, and it doesn't explain most of the situation."
"I am not saying aliens but everyone at home is mildly convinced of the aliens."
– bingley777
It all starts with a sound.
After Hours Visitor
"Universal Orlando has a ride that you can hear a little girl laughing and someone running up and down the corridors after the ride closes."
"I've had doors that only lock with a key somehow lock when no one was around. The mechanics only work with ALL the lights on and music blasting."
– Revolutionary-Yak-47
These Low Effort Jobs Have Surprisingly High Salaries | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Have you ever worked one of those jobs that paid you to kinda sit there? If you have, you know the joy that comes with watching the entirety of Breaking Bad ...Undetected Visitor
"Unarmed security for a residential building here, this is extremely tame compared to some of the other stories here but this is a pretty salient subject (and I have evidence)."
"My site has a rooftop pool and it's really one of the only major things the management gets anal about when it's supposed to be closed. On a chilly night not too long ago I was posted up in the rooftop stairwell staying warm when I hear a crescendo-ing fit of laughter that goes to the point where the laugher is gasping and choking."
"Kind of weird, but not a big deal considering that people throw parties and whatnot all the time and I could tell it wasn't close enough to be someone horsing around in the pool. Then I just start hearing a bunch of shrieking, and the source of the noise is moving around."
"At this point I step out, and I realize it's coming from the rooftop itself (locked up and only accessible by non-security by scaling a concrete wall). The noise stops and I try to start zeroing from where exactly on this dark, slippery, cold-ass roof the noises were coming from."
"Then I see some footprints on the roof that were not there before. Barefoot prints with no heel print (tiptoeing). Footprints that are dirtier than the surface of the roof itself. Noped my way right back inside because it was an hour before clock-out"
"I'd much rather have something paranormal than a methhead on the roof running around with no shoes."
– Insominus
Electrical Disturbance
"Before my actual job in LE, worked security in a college back in 2016. I remember at some point a movement detection alarm tripped in the theatre. I check up on the cameras and only the lobby had a camera. The lights were flickering but it seemed 'intelligent' meaning one light was flickering then suddenly another one was. I decided to go check it out. All doors were locked magnetically. Lights stopped flickering the second I walked into the room."
– StunningZucchinis
Cry For Help
"Temporariy security guard at a supermarket in Holland. Suddenly i get a call that there is a kid locked in one of our Walk in coolers that you need a magnetic key for to unlock. Customers and staff have heard this kid yell for help."
"I get my magnetic master key and open the door. there is nothing in the cooler no kid no produce nada. We explain it away as some joke but staff insist they heard it. Jokingly tell them they heard a ghost or some sh*t. And after that i continue my shift slightly unnerved."
– sarper97
These Redditors had no clue who or what was moving things around.
Ghost Driver
"Yyyooooooo lol you might not believe me but at universal studios Hollywood the lower lot we use golf carts or Ford explorers to patrol. There is a golf cart that drives it self at night."
"We have the number of the cart on camara and I sh*t you not it's been 'no operational' for over 6 years. (Some one wrecked it on lot) thing drives around jaw lake and residential area at night. Scary sh*t is I patrol up there alot for my swing shift never seen it but camaras catch it zooming past use when we are driving lol"
– Fearsnodeath
Maybe The Building's Old
"I know the feeling, especially with the doors. the building I work in has these sliding doors. The outer doors locks at 8pm but the inner doors stay unlocked. Sometimes around 1 am or 2 am the inner door will open like someone just walked past it... Once the locked outer door slid open like someone walked up to it... "
"That night I cut power to the doors for the rest of the shift. Same with the phone, except we can see who is calling in, whether it is an outside line or if it is coming from in the building. At least once a week there will be a call from one of the offices in the middle of the night, the first night it happened I assumed it was housekeeping, next morning I spoke to head of housekeeping and was told all housekeeping leaves at 8pm, same with kitchen staff, and maintenance."
"Management is out the door by 5pm, only staff in the building after 8pm is myself and a handful of nurses, and it can't be any of them as they are on another floor, I have the only key to the offices the call comes from, and I would see if anyone entered or exited the offices. Same with the alarms, had the fire alarm go off last week and it prompted all the fire doors to close, as soon as those doors closed it stopped."
"I checked, nothing in the building to trigger it, opened the fire doors back up, sat down at the desk, 5 minutes later alarm is shutting the doors again for no reason."
"So only thing I can figure at this point is this building I work in is an old building and it probably has some bad wiring somewhere that keeps setting things off."
– CylonsInAPolicebox
Ghost Writer
"A guy I worked with told me about a computer programming job he had at a small bank that I think was in Salem, Oregon. He was engrossed working on some code and didn't notice people leaving for the day, but at some point he realized he was alone."
"But he could hear slow, irregular typing, like somebody who didn't know how to type was using one finger. He was in a groove and kept working, but eventually he had to stop and figure out what it was."
"After walking around and finding nobody there he realized the sound was coming from behind a door he had never seen opened. As he opened the door the typing sound stopped, and what he found was a small closet with some boxes of forms and stuff stacked up, and on top of the boxes was an old manual typewriter, like from the 1920s. No paper in it."
"At that point he just closed the door and called it a night. This guy was a rather unimaginative person and also a hardcore biblical Christian. He never even reported this or asked his coworkers about it. I would have stuck a sheet of paper in the typewriter (and then noped out for the night)."
– refried_pancakes
Building With A Gruesome Past
"Once worked in a call center very late at night. Around 8pm you'd hear all the doors in the main corridor slamming shut, but the doors didn't open or close at all."
"Later we tried to frighten one of the workers by telling them the place was haunted, and found out about a month later that the entire building was on top of a medieval plague pit, where they just build over it and left the corpses buried."
– WimbleWimble
Haunted Condo
"I work security at night in a luxury condo, I actually started a little over a month ago and I already had a fair share of incidents."
"Alarms triggered for no apparent reason, finding unusual doors unlocked, random orbs on the cameras, doors slamming while nobody's around, elevator phone started ringing by itself."
– Important_Walrus8917
I always imagine security guards wander dark corridors at night illuminated only by their flashlights to investigate strange sounds.
If that is a reality, to them I tip my hat.
Because regardless of earning a decent wage, I would never want to subject myself to witnessing horror movie tropes like fresh footprints when no one else is in the building, or a strange point of light darting around that is not traced back to my flashlight, or slamming doors not due to mechanical failure.
To all responders in the field, thank you for your service.
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The human body is truly amazing. It's resilient, it can create antibodies to fight off infections, and it comes in all shapes and sizes.
There are some awesome facts about the human body, like that no two people have the same fingerprints.
However, there are also some creepy facts about the human body.
Redditors are well aware of this and are ready to share the creepiest facts they know about the human body.
It all started when Redditor MorBot07 asked:
"What creepy fact about the human body do you know?"
I Need To Go Take A Nap
"Too much lack of sleep can cause the brain to "eat itself", cutting connections and making things like alzheimer more probable in later life."
– 89_degree_angle
"nothing has been able to convince me to start sleeping more but i think this comment really did it for me.."
– r0saliaa
Can't Move
"If your spinal cord loses adequate blood supply for a short period of time, you can be temporarily paralyzed."
"The first sign that your spine is "waking up" again is that you regain a specific reflex, where if you squeeze that person's penis or clitoris, their anus contracts. If that happens, it's a good sign."
– AceAites
Just The Right Spot
"A single punch to the chest can stop your heart. A single punch to the gut can rupture your spleen and kill you. A single punch to the face or back of the head can kill you. (the back of the head being less sudden and more noticeable)..."
"Let it be known that, despite all the things we can endure, humans are insanely fragile in many ways you may not even have thought of."
– wolfyfancylads
The Other Side Of Me
"Some people’s organs are on the wrong side of their body, like a mirror image… It’s called Situs Inversus"
– smallCraftAdvisor
"This is true! I actually have this. Partial Situs Inversus. Dextrocardia. It doesn’t harm me just means my heart in on the wrong side so the opposite lung is smaller. Can cause issues when I’m sick but nothing more."
– FlamingArrowheads
My Choice
"There are pregnancy cancers. You can have little baby cell metastases growing in your brain if you decide to have a baby and some of cell multiplier genes go wrong."
– zeratul196
"Add that to the list of why I need bodily autonomy. 😬"
– chubbycat96
Time For A Reboot
"A seizure, despite how terrifying they may be, are your brain's response to the brain equivalent of a runtime error. Something happened that shouldn't have, and your brain is restarting to get everything running smoothly again."
"Source: epileptic since 2003"
– authorStanCrane
Ick!
"When we die, it looks like your fingernails are still growing, but it’s actually just the skin around your fingers shrinking."
– Comfortable-Pin-5769
A Body Is An Ecosystem
"Your body contains just as many foreign cells, i.e. gut bacteria, as your own body cells. These cells produce hundreds of neurochemicals that the brain uses to regulate basic physiological processes as well as mental processes such as learning, memory and mood. Some believe this is the "gut feeling" people sometimes get in certain situations."
– chaoschosen665
Genetics
"I’m currently pregnant with a girl. I’m currently holding the cells that could become my grandchild."
– dreamqueen9103
"Samesies. Every person in existence was once half inside their biological maternal grandmother."
– Magnaflorius
Counterproductive
"I don’t know if it qualifies as creepy.. I’m a nurse, and I’ve always found it interesting how the body attempts to compensate when sick which incidentally tends to lead to you becoming sicker because of how overworked your body is."
– Chowel98
Different Species, One Body
"An estimated 30 trillion cells in your body—less than a third—are human. The other 70-90% are bacterial and fungal. Ninety-nine percent of the unique genes in your body are bacterial."
– AwiiiLama
Uncomprehensible
"If you have a stroke (or other brain injury) that effects parts of the brain associated with speech, you will probably end up with some type of aphasia."
"For example, my “favorite” type of aphasia is Wernicke’s Aphasia; patients can form whole words and even sentences, but they usually make no sense. I had a patient with Wernicke’s Aphasia who would constantly say something close to “we have to rescue the dog(s) from the DMV!” It took me about 30 mins to figure out this person wanted something to drink."
– YayAdamYay
A Whole New Person
"I heard or read once that essentially every 7 years your body has completely regenerated. Of course it's a slow on going process but 7 years from now no cell that's currently in your body will still be there."
– randomradomski
No Changes
"Eyes are the only part of the body that don't grow. Same size when you die as when you were born."
– lookatmypackage
We Are Strong
"You could easily bite your own fingers or tongue off, but (unless you're seriously mentally ill) your brain prevents you from doing so."
– endorrawitch
They say knowledge is power, but I'm not sure I'm better off for knowing of this!
Until we're in a situation, we'll never really know how we'll react.
I have been in this scenario, though.
Sex matters. And people rarely want to admit how much.
But sex isn't a lifetime guarantee.
It fades, as does love.
It's important to speak about it.
It can be a fixable situation.
A relationship without sex may not be the end of the world, but it's definitely a sign that something is off.
Redditor Deviant55 wanted to talk about physical intimacy in relationships, so they asked:
"How important is sex to you in a relationship? Could you be with someone you love even if sex was off the table indefinitely?"
I learned how much sex matters in my last relationship.
Once I wasn't interested, it kind of killed everything.
Forever
"When my wife of 30+ years became too ill for sex to be even remotely interesting for her, I certainly did not end the relationship. I loved her and I took care of her until she died. No other course even occurred to me."
fvillion
Frustration
"When I met my wife we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. This lasted a few years. I was in my mid-twenties when we married. She developed a chronic medical issue. I’ve gone twenty years being sexually frustrated. There are stages and phases to this."
"What I came to realize is that I love my wife. Yes, sex is important in our relationship. But I would rather have her in my life with no sex than have sex without her."
"The thing is, I love her. She can’t help her situation. I can’t help it. One deals with it. Marriage is more than sex. It is building a life and memories, raising a family, and loving each other regardless of the challenges life throws our way. But sex is very important. It helps keep the closeness and the emotional bond. But it isn’t the only thing that does that."
QuietusNoctis
I Love Her
"It is complicated. I am in a near-sexless marriage. The wife needs antidepressants to function. And it kills her libido. So usually it is four to six times a year. My libido rages. And yeah, it sucks. I dream of more sex."
"But I love the chick. She loves me to the moon and back. I’m not willing to sacrifice her love so I can try dating again. Divorce rates these days? And I found a woman who more than tolerates me, she loves me. I’ll stay. And not to be crude but yeah I masturbate. A lot. She doesn’t begrudge me that. Occasionally she even encourages it."
"She went off her meds for a while. And man did we do it. But she was a mess. I need her healthy more than I need a shag. We travel together. We enjoy each other’s company. We actually like each other. I could claim that it is hell, but I choose to see all of the good I am blessed with."
painthawg_goose
Heartless
"Quite important. But I think it depends on where you are in the relationship. I've been married for 10 years. I have kids. If my wife suddenly couldn't have sex with me for some reason -- illness or injury or something -- I'm not divorcing her over it. That's heartless."
"Now, if she just decided we weren't ever having sex again because she didn't feel like it, that'd be different. Or if I was just starting to date someone and they told me they'd never have sex, I probably just wouldn't keep pursuing the relationship. Plenty of people out there who will."
Arkhangelzk
Necessity
"It depends on the circumstances. I LOVE doing it with my man but I love his heart and soul more. If we had to stop having sex for medical reasons or something I’d definitely stay with him and stay faithful. If I was single, I think it’s unlikely I’d start a new relationship knowing it would be sex free."
Fit_Technology8240
Heart and soul is just as necessary and hot and sweaty.
At least a lot of people recognize that.
Percentages
"Sex life is 10% of a relationship when it’s good and 90% of a relationship when it’s bad."
jakovichontwitch
"The other way I've heard it put is that sex is like the bathroom in your house. It's not the only reason you bought the house, but if it's not working it's a big problem."
molten_dragon
Age Related
"50-year-old here married for 27 years. It’s not important. It was important when we were younger but honestly, if sex wasn’t possible I would still love my wife and really nothing about our day would really change."
Kantforall
"I’ve been reading these comments and wishing that everyone’s age was flared on their post because I sense that there are a lot of under-60-year-olds. I am older than my wife but she is starting menopause and I can see the writing on the wall. Not super thrilled but I love her completely and understand. The real intimacy is in how we still (and will always) want to sleep touching each other and waking up next to each other."
caffeinated-hijinx
Kiss Me
"I honestly considered this before. I absolutely adored this guy. It was like a child relationship; we'd kiss and cuddle and hold hands and things, but he wouldn't have sex with me, nor would he commit properly. Any time we came close to sex, he'd go soft or back off."
"I couldn't understand it, wondered if I could keep doing that. My sex drive was wild. Why kiss and the rest but not sex?"
"Then one day he told me he was in love with me and asked me out properly. I said yes there and then, had a wonderful day with him, but when I went home, I was left questioning if I could possibly live without sex. I decided that yeah, I loved him but it would be tough."
"We had sex the next day. So yes, I think I probably could."
Adventurous_Train_48
Touchy/affectionate...
"It's very important. I'm a very affectionate and physical person and touch/caresses and anything physical is one of my love languages. I couldn't function with someone who is the opposite of me or who's uncomfortable with how I am. I already was in a relationship with someone who wasn't that touchy/affectionate and it created frustration for both of us."
Borboleta77
Don't Look at Me
"I am in a sexless relationship. He has erectile dysfunction and I really don't like sex in general. I'm really uncomfortable naked or even vulnerable. I'm shy around him despite the relationship being 10 years nearly, I'm even shy around my family and friends. Everything about sex makes me feel so embarrassed, and I feel nothing but negative feelings when I used to be sexually active. Not through choice of partner, I just hate that sort of attention."
NucularOrchid
Definitive!
"10/10. Sexual incompatibility is a deal breaker!"
oeeiae
Sex is important but not everything.
Until it is everything if it becomes an issue.
Good luck couples. Open and honest communication is key.
An important contributor to our overall health and happiness is the quality of our friendships.
We may not have a lot of friends, but the more important factor is the depth of those relationships.
But we've all had one of those friends who turned out not to be a very good friend at all.
Redditor Both-Support-7110 asked:
"When did you realize your 'friends' were just a**holes?"
Putting Them Down
"After I realized that other people don't s**t on each other on every possible occasion in their circle."
"And that it isn't right when a 'friend' uses every known insecurity as an argument against you when you do not behave the way he/she would want you to."
- fobopi9445
"I luckily made a couple of friends that would just be supportive about stuff. So I slowly started talking to them more than my older friends as I saw the disparity between their responses."
"One side purely would be purely judgmental and try and bring me down, and the other would just be excited for me or be there to listen or whatever. Who wants to talk to the former when you have the latter?"
- Universeintheflesh
Using Them as a Convenience
"They only bothered with me when it suited them. I'd rather have nobody than have to deal with that."
- fobopi9445
Trying to Keep Them Small
"When they were nice at first but then cut me out of conversations, telling me not to 'butt in.' A friend doesn't dictate when you're allowed to speak."
- leatherwolf89
"Total a**hole move to have conversations in front of you only to tell you it doesn’t concern you and mean it. . . Like making plans and giving details about how someone like you could be included but specifically telling you not to invite yourself; making plans in front of someone and not inviting them is awful."
- dearlysacredherosoul
Using Them as Entertainment
"She got a boyfriend and would let him listen to our phone calls and not tell me, even if I was crying about personal stuff that I would only ever tell her."
"Then they both started lying to me about my crush liking me back, forcing both him and me into awkward positions (telling everyone we liked each other so they'd play along, swapping places constantly to make us sit next to each other, pressuring him into giving me a lap dance, making him kiss the prettiest girl in the room, etc), and encouraged me to shoot my shot more and more."
"All the while they knew he didn't like me, he had told them both directly. One night, I was crying on the phone because I was so confused why my advances weren't working, and they just kept explaining it away, blaming some other bulls**t reason and telling me to try again."
"The next day, they told me they were laughing throughout the whole call because I didn't get it and I was so upset. I should add I had no dating experience at all and nobody had ever liked me at this point."
- vixayib976
Using Them to Feel Superior
"I didn't have many friends in grade school, but the times the kids actually gave me the time of day, it was to make me 'it' when we'd play tag. That's what I was there for. To continuously be 'it' so they could run away and feel superior. Because they knew I would agree to it no matter what."
- lunayoshi
Having Questionable Morals
"I had a friend that was a very promiscuous girl, I had no issue with that, until I found out she was using me and my innocent personality then, to distract her mom and make her think she was like me."
"Then she used my house as a literal hotel once, with my family here and everything... I knew that was it."
- luffve
Making Fun of Them
"When I made new friends and realized that it's not normal for friends to constantly beat on me and make fun of me."
- vatonef494
Prioritizing Money Over Them
"When they stopped being my friends after I went through a rough financial patch."
- fobopi9445
Becoming Flaky
"I had a group that I was in from 2019-2021. They became a**holes over time, and it took me longer to see that. It was when I failed my psych 101 class (I'm not the best with online classes and tried the best I could) and when they heard about that, they laughed to my face, called me stupid and a failure."
"Early 2022, I met up with them again thinking it would just be a 'listen to this concert for someone we all know and go on our ways' thing."
"My one closer friend offered to drive me and I accepted, and then afterward she joined the group, made eye contact after the concert was done and said, 'bye,' and left with them to the doors. They doubled back and said, 'You can come with us to another town to a friend's place or I can get my mom to drive you home.'"
"I was so overwhelmed and embarrassed that I just went with them to the other town. I called my brother to come to pick me up after an hour, and when he was on his way out, everyone else left. Haven't been into contact with them again after that."
- shortedgyasain
Disappearing When It Counts
"They pretty much abandoned me in a time of pretty intense need. It solidified my decision to leave the area and go do something worthwhile."
- verisimilitu
No Reciprocation Allowed
"When he does s**t to me and acts like it’s no big deal, but then I do the same back, and he gets offended."
- vatonef494
Excluding Them From Plans
"I've got two examples here. One from childhood and one from adulthood. Pick your favorite."
"Childhood: Kid I knew when I was 8 or so. We used to hang out a lot of the time and often played together, doing the usual kid stuff. Then one day, he has to move away because of a change in his parent's financial situation and I was pretty bummed out about it."
"On the last day we were supposed to see each other, he hung out with someone else instead and when tried to join them, he physically shoved me away and told me I wasn't welcome. That one stung."
"Adulthood: When they keep telling me about plans they made and things they did together or wanted to do together, but never bother to invite or include me in any of it. There's one of them I get along with and he'll invite me to things as long as it's just with him, but when he's with the group, he excludes me."
"I remember one example in particular where they were discussing a new site to do some photography and they fell short a man. One of them looks at me like I'm the spare tire in his car and goes: 'I guess you can come with us this one time.', to which another replies: 'Nah, he doesn't want to go. He doesn't like photography.'"
"I told him I was perfectly capable of answering for myself and didn't need him to act as my answering machine, but it lost a lot of impact because he was right. I don't like photography and didn't want to go. I just didn't like being talked about that way."
"Good luck making that clear to them, though. All they heard was: 'If he was right anyway, then why are you b*tching about it?'"
"I no longer hang out with them. I eventually got sick of being treated like the spare guy they can use in case none of the 'main crew' was attending, so I dropped them."
- Kuliari
Terrible Priorities
"In 2006, my then-best friend wanted to go to a big German metal festival. I did not want to go because my Dad had end-stage cancer."
"Dad died on August 8th, a couple of days after my friend returned from the festival. I called him because I needed someone to talk to."
"He very bluntly stated that he had no interest in my Dad's passing but wanted to tell me how great the festival was."
"You can't imagine how disappointed I was. For years, I'd been there for him whenever he got dumped, and the one time I needed a friend, he wasn't there for me. I told him to shut my door from the outside and lose my number."
- fobopi9445
Undesirable Behaviors
"I was 15, we were hanging out in the alleyway behind my friend’s house as we did almost every day after school."
"One girl was there from the year above us and they started prank calling the child protective services emergency line, pretending to be a child in distress, and they all laughed."
"After a few rounds of this, I felt queasy and left. Never hung out with them again. I still feel bad for not saying something or putting a stop to it, but the girl was older and 'cool.'"
- Brasscogs
Taking Advantage of Them
"I've been posting on him recently, he was my former neighbor and friend. We didn't immediately hit it off but after a while, we became good friends."
"I tried helping him out (he's an unemployed single dad of two special needs kids). He eventually saw my kindness as something to take advantage of, so late last fall, he either broke into my house (or enabled someone else to do it for him) and stole money from me."
"When I confronted him about this, he physically attacked me."
"I can't say it doesn't hurt."
- llcucf80
Friendships are incredibly important, but we're unfortunately not meant to be friends with everyone. Some people simply do not turn out to be the friends we thought they were.
We may know that this happens, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.
No one wants to be alone.
But that doesn't mean we should settle when it comes to choosing a romantic partner.
When people rush into things without letting love flourish, it could lead to problems down the line that can inevitably lead to difficult breakups.
Those who've learned this the hard way shared their experiences with love when Redditorlastknownstar asked:
"What common mistakes do people make when choosing a life partner?"
Communication is key.
Discussing Life Issues
"Not discussing big life issues: your preference for having kids, parenting styles, deep religious beliefs, career aspirations, significant traumas…anything that may affect how you make decisions together later on."
– AwkwardFortuneCookie
Outdated Notions
"My parents were like this. Dad grew up in a standard midcentury 'men run the house, women stay in the kitchen' family, but Mom came from a long line of domineering southern matriarchs who had their husbands whipped. Dad was naturally a good cook and Mom hated cooking, but once they got married, Dad insisted she make all the food because that's what wives are supposed to do. No warning, total 180 on their relationship up to that point."
"He's learned his lesson and now happily cooks for my stepmom, but man... That's not something you can just spring on your new spouse overnight!"
– shebbsquids
What About Kids
"Having kids is a really big question that absolutely needs to be communicated. I've also heard that it's a topic that would make the man a big red flag if asked early into the 'relationship' as in first date and/or texts are off limits."
"Wouldnt it be a lot nicer to 'speed date' these big topics early on?"
– Leaping_Turtle
These Redditors realized ignorance of financial responsibility in a relationship came at a cost.
Finances
"Finance is the number 1 leading cause of divorce."
"Edit: this popped up in my YouTube recommendation (Is your relationship struggling because of finance? - Dave Ramsey https://youtu.be/XuU7oabGqjk). Google is not monitoring us or anything"
– strangemanornot
Spending Habits
"This is such a big issue in relationships. Knowing each other's spending habits is equally important. My ex would be extremely judgmental when it came to my 'fun money', but when he bought a new TV or a new gaming console, he was not to be questioned on it."
– RewardNo3000
You can't change people.
Fixing Their Flaws
"Thinking, 'I know this person has flaws, but when we're married I can help fix them.'"
– DoctorExtra9060
"Ok marriage isn’t working but if we have kids things will change because it will bring us closer."
– Mrepman81
Parasitic Love
"I personally had this issue dating someone who was as sweet as could be, but not the brightest bulb in the socket, and they relied on me for knowledge on everything from health to history to housework. All perfectly googleable or troubleshootable questions, but always defaulted to giving up and asking mommy the girlfriend for help. Admittedly it was kind of an ego boost to have someone always telling me how smart I was and deferring to my judgement on everything, but that's not what a healthy romantic relationship should be like."
"I thought I could nudge them gently into being slightly more self sufficient, but it only got worse as they grew accustomed to relying on me for every little thing. And of course the flip side was I felt like I could never rely on them when I needed help... I knew I was SOL if I couldn't do everything myself, because I was dragging around a parasite instead of a partner."
"Next time I want to spend years working on a fixer-upper, I'm just going to buy a crumbling Victorian house. It'll cause me less stress in the long run."
– shebbsquids
Taking An Emotional Toll
"I was in a similar boat with an ex, wasn't so much her fault as she had a learning disability and epilepsy."
"Every other weekend we also looked after her kids from past relationships, one of which had autism, and due to my ex's condition she wasn't allowed to be on her own with the kids meaning I had to be there as the capable, responsible adult."
"We were together for just shy of 4 years."
"After she broke things off it took a good few months for me to get used to the fact that I could actually let my guard down, switch my brain off and relax. Without needing to constantly worry that someone would need my help or that I needed to ensure her safety."
"She didn't quite realise the toll it was having on me or the amount of responsibility was on my shoulders. She would constantly suggest things like holidays abroad with just us two and the kids, and all I could think was that it would be far from a relaxing holiday for me as I'd have her and two kids to look after and be responsible for the entire time."
– ShadowSurgeGaming
Managing expectations is key.
Never Settle
"Choosing someone they think they should be with instead of someone they're actually compatible with."
"I feel a lot of people have a picture in their head of who they think they'll end up with and chase that ideal, instead of acknowledging their own personality and aiming for someone compatible with that. Easier said than done, but yeah."
– Viminia7 ·
Importance Of Value
"I talk with my partner about this all the time. We think its important to have shared values not shared interests."
"Yes it’s important to share things you both like to do, but just because your partner likes One Punch Man, like you do, doesn’t mean they are on the same page as you with resolving conflicts."
– scsm
Elvis Presley reminded us that only fools rush in, despite his intense romantic feelings towards his object of affection.
But the wise men he was referring to were on to something.
It's best to ease into things and let love grow, and not force relationships without really getting to know the person with whom you plan to devote yourself to.
If it's meant to be, it'll be worth taking things slow by getting to know a prospective significant other's dreams, what makes them, and their values to see if there is enough chemistry to develop meaningful relationships.