Being a smart criminal means you don't get caught... at least in theory.
Today's burning question is from Redditor ItzTacoTimmie, who asked the online community: "Police officers of Reddit, who's the smartest criminal you've ever encountered?"
Here are some stories from police officers and people with stories of their own. The nerve of some of these criminals; you have to admire their moxie.
"There's one guy I recently dealt with..."
There's one guy I recently dealt with who is on parole. I stopped him in my city after he was looking to buy drugs (usually people come from all over to buy drugs and then leave). I issue him a warning and let him go as it's pretty common and he sang like a bird regarding the people he was trying to buy from.
Anyway, the next day, I got a call from his parole officer who says he was alerted the guy was pulled over and wanted to verify that It was his guy that I stopped. I'm a little confused at first but he goes on to say that the day before, he was scheduled to meet with him but he had an excuse and bailed.
His excuse was that he was in the hospital. Well when he spoke with him the following day, he was able to provide documentation that he had entered the hospital day 1 and had left day 2. Well I had stopped him at 115 in the morning and after looking at the picture, it was 100% him.
Turns out the guy had checked in then out of the hospital on day 1, then in and out again on day 2. He then re arranged half the paperwork to make it look like he was in the hospital overnight which would make my car stop of him appear like I mixed him up with someone else as well as give him a valid excuse to miss their meeting.
Not sure what's gonna happen to that guy but I thought it was pretty clever.
"A guy in my dorm..."
This was in the late 90s-early 00s.
A guy in my dorm came to school solely to deal drugs. He took out student loans, registered for a bunch of 300-person freshman survey courses where he would never be missed, then literally never went to class. All he did was go to raves and concerts and keggers and sell party drugs.
After the first semester, he was suspended. He wrote the usual 'I was young and dumb and in over my head' sob story, and got put on probation for a semester. So he had a repeat of the fall. At the end of the year, he was kicked out, and didn't care.
He made something on the order of $150k, in return for about $8k in student loans to cover a year of housing and tuition.
So far as I know, he was never caught. It may have been a short-sighted maneuver in the long run, but in the short run it seemed fairly genius to effectively use federal loans to start your drug business.
"He was smart enough..."
Probably someone who committed a crime I never solved.
With that being said I had a guy use a sledge hammer to smash his way through a wall at a Best Buy and steal a bunch of phones and cameras. He was smart enough to wear gloves and a face mask and not touch anything he didn't have to. Alarms didn't go off until he exited out the back door, which the alarm company gets after a minute or two and takes them like 3/4 minutes to call in to us, giving him a good 5 minute head start so he was probably a few miles away before we got dispatched to it. He clearly scoped out the area before doing his deed too. Smart dude.
"It was middle of January."
Worked at a jail. After getting off work, I watched an ex inmate (homeless) being released, he walked over to a patrol car, looked me in the eye, and the elbowed the window in. He was walked back to the entrance and re-booked in. It was middle of January. He didn't want to get too cold.
"Anyone that immediately requests a lawyer..."
Anyone that immediately requests a lawyer, prior to questioning. That's the smartest thing you can do, if you committed a crime (in most scenarios).
If you speak with me and confess, you're f---ed. If you speak with me and lie, and I can prove it, you're f---ed.
If you say nothing at all... there's a chance I'm f---ed.
"I remember an officer..."Giphy
I remember an officer telling me about a B&E alarm he and his team responded to. No one was there to report the alarm, it must have been a security monitoring company that called.
When police showed up, everything seemed normal, most lights were off, and there was an employee still working. Explains he was there working late and must have set off an alarm.
They almost believed him until he said "uhh" before saying the name of the company he worked for. After that it was downhill but with a little more research he would have pretty much gotten away with it.
"Almost got away with it..."
Kid killed his grandmother. Used her credit card all weekend. Went to a dance. Went to Pizza Hut with a date. Had a stereo installed. Called family members in another state over and over like nothing happened.
The following Monday or Tuesday he poured gas through the house and lit it. Gas flashed and he ran into the yard. Fire department arrives. Said he heard a male in the house who he thought was an estranged family member that hated his grandma.
Almost got away with it but the door closed from the wind and the flames went out. Allows us to do an autopsy showing a .22 wound to the back.
Unraveled a long history of crazy abuse and family stuff for 16 years by his parents. Grandparents tried to help (edit clarification)
He's still in jail. Smart funny intelligent kid. Other than murdering his grandmother he seemed like a good kid from a distance.
"One guy would print barcodes..."
One guy would print barcodes, bring them into home depot and stick them on merchandise in the $100 range. When scanned the items came up around the $10 range. Putting random barcodes on things isn't really illegal and super hard to notice. Guy two would come in an hour later and buy the underpriced stuff. Complete plausible deniability. They would then sell the stuff on Ebay.
Only reason they got caught is because the guy with the barcode printer/software cut the second guy out of the operation so guy 2 stole a bunch of barcodes, put them on the merchandise and paid for it immediately afterwards. He then proceeded to rat on the first guy and spilled the beans they had been doing this on a weekly basis for over four years. Because we could only pin the one case on him, the burglary was dropped down to a pretty theft and he walked away with a few days in county and a small fine. Dude probably took Home Depot for tens of thousands over the years.
"I worked with this one guy..."
I worked with this one guy who had a lengthy record. He had a system for getting released if he got caught. After committing a crime, if the police were in pursuit and he knew he was about to be cornered, he would act insane. His girl would play along with it telling the police that he was off his medication. The police would arrest him but then send him to a mental ward with papers instructing the ward to release to police once he was cleared. Once he was in the mental ward, he would cause a distraction that would make the person attending the desk with the file cabinet to leave said cabinet.
He would then crawl to the file cabinet, look for his "release to police" papers, and then would literally eat the papers. When the psych evaluators decided that he was stable enough to be released, there would be no instructions to send him to the police, and he would be released to the general public. He did this about 10 times until police officers noticed him back on the streets. This stunt forced the state to change their procedure for detaining mentally unstable suspects.
"My favorite was the guy..."
My favorite was the guy who stole a post office mailbox off the street, repainted it, and then put it next to the night deposit box at a bank. And hung an out-of-order sign on the deposit box. All the businesses came along and dropped off their deposits in the mailbox.
"I remember some thieves..."
I remember some thieves would go and trigger the alarm of a vacant Blockbuster after they all started closing down. They did this for two weeks straight, so I guess the cops became convinced that this was a false alarm going off at the exact same time every night so they stopped rushing to investigate. One day we find out that the pharmacy next to the Blockbuster was broken into through the wall they shared. Not only that, but there was only one tiny section the wall that wasn't covered in shelves and panels in the pharmacy, so the thieves had to know exactly which part of the Blockbuster wall to break through. Still pretty impressed by the heist these junkies managed to pull off.
"There was a guy with over 50 speeding charges..."Giphy
There was a guy with over 50 speeding charges, with the name "Prawo Jazdy." He was in a different car, with a different disguise every single time. Eventually, after the government set up a special task force to take down this guy, they realized that "Prawo Jazdy" means "drivers license" in Polish.
"Stopped a guy at night.
Stopped a guy at night. Willingly pulled over. Was Mr nice and had an answer for everything. Mistake was he left night vision on the dash. Which have me grounds to search. Had a perfect tool kit for high end breaks... radios to reach others in on the act... thermal suits etc. Barrister turned up to interview... offence of going equipped never stood a chance. He was released. On his way out joked he hadn't been stopped in 10 years... even complimented me on being pro active and observant. (record showed loads for burglary then nothing since 2002) 2 months later a camouflaged server site down the road was hit... 1.5 million in kit went. Police didn't even know it was there. ISP had no idea how the alarms didn't go off and how such specialised kit was difficult to sell... Knew exactly who it was... but 0% proof. nicest prisoner I ever had!
"They were housed in one of our maximum security tiers."
Having worked as a Disciplinary Officer in corrections, I've always been amazed at the ingenuity of inmates. The problem most run into is the follow up of the crime they commit. Our department received a call one night that there were three of our inmates walking down a street a short distance away from our jail. The three were caught quickly (they were still wearing their stripes). However, upon doing a roster check it was discovered there was still one missing. He was caught about a month later. So, the ingenuity was more in how they escaped.
They were housed in one of our maximum security tiers. After lockdown there is really only one way out of the cell. There is a very narrow window in each cell overlooking the yard (this was never really seen as a viable escape risk as they were so narrow one would have to be really skinny to even attempt to try to squeeze through). Due to lack of staffing, our guard tower stayed unmanned, so they took note of that.
They spent a year losing weight, and observing the officers that worked the tier, taking note of which ones were lax in their duties. They loosened one of the windows, and when they finally reached a weight where they could all fit through, they took their opportunity.
The officer on duty that night was so lax he didn't notice that four men entered a two man cell at lockdown. Not just that, he didn't do a roster check at lockdown. So they got out and used a mattress to climb over the razor wire. The problem is they didn't have a good strategy for after they escaped. The one that was out the longest was probably the smartest, as he decided to part ways with the three who felt like it was a good idea to walk on a street in their prison stripes. But, he had no real plan either. He spent his time living in people's fishing camps when they weren't around. He was caught when one of the campers surprised him, and called the department who was able to locate him shortly thereafter.
"When I figured it out..."
Not exactly the same, but I am a Cyber PI, and had a case where an escort was working 3 sugar daddies. She convinced each one of them to buy her a boob job. She collected $4500 from each of them and pocketed the difference. She got a set of boobs and $9,000. Each guy thought they were the only ones until I uncovered the enterprise. (One of the daddies was a married CEO.)
When I figured it out, I totally did the Ron Burgundy golf clap..."I'm not even mad...
"Not the smartest but the most determined."
Not the smartest, but the most determined. A couple of years back we had a dealer in, heavily suspected of plugging. He was put on a 'poo watch' constant supervision (effectively placed into a specialised cell whereby the toilet is rigged up to a clear tank, so if they poo, one of the lucky officers gets to sift through it to look for drugs). The bloke managed to avoid pooing for 12 days, after which point the doctor in charge of his care wrote a report saying that he needed to be released as he would likely die if he didn't poo asap. The guy was released, facing only a minor charge of the initial possession rather than what would have likely been a higher charge of possession with intent to supply.
"I'm a corrections officer..."
I'm a corrections officer and often encounter career criminals that are professionals at cheating the system. The real smart ones are few and far between, but every now and then I see something that opens my eyes to how ingenious and resourceful people can be who are institutionalized and have very little to their name.
One, less nefarious example I can share is this alcoholic and chronic gambler inmate who is homeless on the streets, has no family to put money into his canteen jail account but always seems to have various food items like chocolate bars (which are as good as money in jail) for trading and gambling. I searched his property one day to discover little coupon clippings, chocolate bar wrappers and fruit cup lids. This guy was using his 2 letters a week to send out complaints, reviews and coupons to food companies and having them ship replacement/winnings/samples to the jail. They would be factory sealed and pass security screening. All for free. I'm talking boxes of KitKat bars and whatnot. A true scammer.
A less intelligent but funny example is this 45 year old, 4'5 tall, half a skull, gimped leg in and out homeless regular we called 'dent head' (due to the large dent on one side of his head due to past surgeries removing half the top of his skull). He couldn't walk without a walker and even with a walker, moved with a massive limp at a snail's pace. I wondered what crime he could possibly be committing to keep coming to jail. Turns out he would shoplift from the local liquor store every day; if he didn't get caught, he gets free booze, if he did get caught, he'd come back to jail for: "a warm bed and 3 hot meals." Unbelievable.
"Knew two guys working at a scrap yard."
Knew two guys working at a scrap yard. One long semi trailer was for copper only, the boss would come around at closing and click the locks shut.
These f*kers put their own lock hanging there once a week and the boss would click it shut. They'd return hours later and grab a pick up load the lock the bosses lock back in place. They pulled that shit for a yr until the guy had cameras installed. They both just quit and called it good.
"Even with multiple police reports on this guy..."
Not police but I worked Asset Protection for a major retailer.
The guy was an electric shaver booster. Someone who specifically comes in, disarms the security tags, and walks out, within minutes.
Even with multiple police reports on this guy, we aren't allowed to stop him without probable cause. Lo and behold, we see him take a shaver. I left to do surveillance on the guy, undercover, but before I could, my coworker already had him in cuffs. No struggle, weird.
We get him in the office, he doesnt have it on him. Cops called. Cops search him. Nothing. He dumped it in a toy aisle we didnt see.
He sued us for $175,000 for unlawful detainment and we settled for $100,000. He knew what he was doing.
"When he first started as a rookie..."
I'm not a cop but my dad was in the NYPD for 20 years. When he first started as a rookie, he had a more experienced partner who he saw as kind of a douchebag. So one day they're on patrol, and this guy starts chasing the car screaming "Officer! Officer!" My dad's partner speeds up and my dad says something like "aren't you gonna stop for him?" And he just turns to him and says no. My dad didn't wanna argue with him so they just kept going. But the guy was still chasing the police car screaming "Officer!" After realizing they weren't gonna stop anytime soon for him, he drops to his knees and screams "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD OFFICERS!" And they just speed off. My dad never forgot that.
This was probably some sorta distraction maybe. It was a common trick back then my dad saw all the time in his later years on the force. They have someone do something crazy so that they get your attention, and while you're not looking, they can do anything. Sometimes they'll sneak up and mug you, other times they'll just steal something. Always very risky let your guard down.
DQ: Who is the smartest criminal you've heard of or encountered?
We often find ourselves having to guess how to make things work and make things fit--in our lives, but also just in our possessions. Will these pants fit me? These shoes?
Will this screw fit my table? Will this charger fit my phone?
If everything was somehow standard, wouldn't it all be so much easier?
Here were some of those answers.
No More Vanity Sizes
Sizes for clothing.
Especially for shoes. How hard would it be to just list the sizes in centimeters (or inches if you're American)?
WHY DO WE USE STANDARD MEASUREMENTS FOR OUR CLOTHES, BUT THEY ARE DIFFERENT SIZES IN DIFFERENT BRANDS???
Calvin Klein's men's slacks: 32'' waist
Bar III men's slacks: 32'' waist
Perry Ellis slacks: 32'' waist
THEY ARE ALL DIFFERENT WAIST SIZES. WHYY?!?!?!?!
Ah Yes, Three Chilis
There's a standard for chili heat levels (the Scoville scale), but food manufacturers never use it. Instead, they use a varying number of chili icons which mean nothing at all.
It's always fun going to like a Thai restaurant in Canada and trying to figure out whether the chili icon means Thai spicy or Canadian spicy.
Ah Yes, This Could Kill Me
Household electrical voltages and sockets.
Interestingly enough, there was an attempt: since 1986, there is an international standard socket, IEC 60906-1. However, only South Africa has implemented it so far.
And it is unlikely it will ever be implemented in other countries, as the EU is even advising against it since 2017:
REFIT found that "the harmonisation of plug and socket outlet systems in Europe, by introducing changes in national wiring legislations (would have) important transitional periods (above 75 years)", and that the cost to "replace the old socket-outlets (and the corresponding plugs of the appliances being used)" was estimated at 100 billion Euro, "generating a huge environmental impact, producing some 700 000 tons of electrical waste". REFIT does not recommend harmonising the plugs and socket-outlet systems in Europe.
Can we just get a little consistency here? Please?!
After working in a grocery store, can diameters should only come in a maybe 4 sizes. And they should all stack.
But they don't. They never do.
I feel your pain. I hate those narrow jars and cans that are slightly narrower than 3 wires of the shelf so they tip over if you don't place them perfectly.
A Computer Mouse, Not A Little Baby Mouse
Modern rechargable batteries.
We spent years with standard size batteries. We are now stuck with proprietary batteries which aren't designed to be user replaceable and often dictate the life of the device.
Yes absolutely. I found this fact especially annoying when looking for a mouse. Most of the more expensive mice come with rechargeable batteries, and it seems that modern tech reviewers are claiming this is better than some standard double A.
All Standard, Yet None Standard
I worked in a hardware store long enough to learn that apparently everything is standardized.
"I need window screens."
Okay, what are your dimensions?
"It's a standard size window."
"I'm looking for a replacement ceiling fan."
Okay, do you want small blades, large blades? A modest 30" span or a robust 56"?
"Just standard size."
"Do you think this large, bulky, cumbersome commodity will fit in my vehicle?"
I don't know. How big your truck?
"It's a standard one."
protip: it's a sedan. it's always a sedan.
Welp, Here's Your Problem
Based on years of helping my Dad in his shop, doing bodywork on vehicles - fastenings. Bolts, screws. rivets, clips... the sheer amount of specialized fastenings and required tools is insane. Even the variety of types in single vehicles is excessive.
Not to mention many of them are so cheaply made that there is no reusing them.
So Many Sign Languages
Not necessarily something that should be standardised because it would affect many cultures negatively, but I've always wondered what it would be like if every country just spoke one language. Sign language should probably be standardised, but re-learning sign language for people who use it may be difficult and time-consuming
Perhaps We Need To Rethink Policing
Police responses to missing persons across the nation, and the information requirements for police reports to be filled out with specific and complete information at the first point of contact by the person reporting the missing person, regardless of the age, status, or suspected reason for disappearing.
Police should NEVER be allowed to decide a case isn't valid at the first point of contact.
A Recipe For A Lint Fire
The laundry exhaust receptacle in homes should be centered exactly eighteen inches (45.7cm) from the floor with eighteen inches (or 45.7 cm) of clearance on both sides.
The exhaust duct of a clothes dryer should be in the middle of the back of the machine, and centered eighteen inches/45.7 cm from the floor. The dryer should have adjustable feet to allow for slight errors in measurement.
Once this is done, a laundry dryer can be pushed into the wall and we won't need to craft a length of ducting to connect the two.
Just a little bit of sameness and consistency could really go a long way here.
Some things ought not be tried again.
Sure, they made sense the first time. It may have held charm, at least some sense of purpose on the second go around. But eventually, surely, an essential truth became clear: never again.
Reddit is apparently crawling with people carrying around that permanent grudge towards some thing they've done in the past.
Lucky for us, we can learn from their mistakes.
senorllama57 asked, "What is something you will never do again?"
There were, of course, plenty of people who discussed horrible jobs they've held in the past. They may have had little choice at the time, but now that it's all in the past they feel free to share how they really felt.
The Customer Always Seems To Be Wrong
"Work retail. I think every kid fresh out of high school should work a retail job for a year. It builds character." -- ProfessionalTheme415
"How did you get out!?! Lol. It's like a black hole where I work. Everyone that tries to leave comes back." -- threebillion6
A Lot Going On
"Work in a nursing home. The sights, screams and pleas Will haunt me forever." -- M_Lamora
"Honestly working in a nursing home was one of the most weird jobs I ever had. I've never been threatened so many times in my life. I once had a memory care resident ask me if I would help her jump a caregiver."
One After Another
"Work in a call center." -- Evilsmurfkiller
"Sucked the soul right out of me within a year." -- Bandana-mal
"I was at one for 2 and half years and it was not until I left I realized I had work-related depression. I was overeating, not eating, sleep deprived, slept all the time, I had such rage that would come out at times...
"I did not care what happened to me, I left because they were gonna fire me over something dumb because they just fire people for being there long. I left over a year ago, and I have not been this happy to wake up every day in years, my life is so much better now." -- UnusualLight0
Others discussed past struggles they've encountered within the romantic realm. Unfortunately, these lessons came with plenty of emotional struggle.
"Get married. It'll be 19 years this August and my marriage is my marriage. I reserve the right to have a girlfriend at some point if she passes away before I do, but she's the one and only wife, end of story."
"Ignore red flags when talking to someone I want to date. I've done it twice now, and both times sucked" -- YareYareYandere
"Listen to your gut. If something feels off, you're probably not imagining it." -- SurealGod
Don't Forget About You
"Okay first off I'm sorry if this might sound cringe :D . . . That would be hmm become too attached/codependent on a person. Whether it may be of a lover, friend, or just acquaintance."
"Idk if it's coincidence but they either end up gone one day or become total di**s when you least expect it and I'm forced to cut ties."
And some people chose to recall the things they were so certain would be fun and enjoyable, but turned out to be so not.
A Bad Ratio
"I made a super elaborate meal once. It was ... okay. Certainly not worth the effort involved." -- Astramancer_
"Take an hour to make something, only takes 15 minutes to eat. It's bullsh**." -- SurealGod
Hours and Hours
"Times Square on New Years' Eve. It was fun once, never need to do it again." -- AnswerGuy301
"I was going to answer the same thing. It seemed like it would be so much fun but now that I know what it entails — never again" -- hi_its_me
"I have never been and never understood the attraction of waiting for hours and hours in the shivering weather." -- amrodd
Think of Grease Splatters
"Prepare steaks when drunk" -- Kiaulunne
"Not for your reason, but same here. Cooked one at 2am after half a bottle of rum. Quickly ate and passed out after. Woke up around 8am dying for water and realised I left the gas stove on... So glad nothing burned down..." -- schofield101
"I will never get drunk again. Tipsy, buzzed, sure. Thats fine."
"But when I was in front of that toilet for an hour, being so weak I couldn't even sit up, having people constantly come in to check on me, worrying that I might have alcohol poisoning, that is exactly not a fun time"
So take some notes! Or maybe there were some true horrors you went through that this list seems to be lacking.
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You know what they say, “the road to hell is paved with good intentions". Because the people who have our best interests in mind typically have good intentions when they give us advice, but there's a chance that that advice can go horribly wrong.
Try not to follow the bad advice given here, because you don't want to get the results that these guys did.
The workplace can bring a cornucopia of terrible advice. Don’t follow these unless you want to get fired.
Bad jobs are usually not worth it.
Stick with a job no matter how bad it is. I stayed with a terrible job working retail, dealing with horrible customers and sexual harassment. I was told I wouldn't find anything better.
"No, no, you misunderstand. I said you wouldn't find anything better at making you feel like complete garbage."
This gets really creepy really fast.frustrated workplace GIFGiphy
"After you put in a job application, you need to call them at least once a day every day until they hire you."
Note: this did not get me hired. It got me called out by the HR person I was calling and forbidden to ever contact their facility again.
I work for a law firm that employees over 1500 people in the home office alone. Once I received a call from the building security saying, "Insert Name is here to speak with the owner." Well we are run by a committee so that's odd. Found out they just applied for a job and wanted to talk directly to the person that would potentially hire them. Told him the firm will contact them to schedule an interview. They refused to leave without "talking to the owner." Had security escort them out of the building.
This is absolutely not true.
"Sleep is for people who do not want success" great words from my uncle, it almost killed me.
Now I may be oversleeping.
Interpersonal relationships are also a big breeding ground for terrible advice. Don’t listen to any of these.
My father always tought me and my brother that "having friends is bad and in the end they will never be there for you" so everytime I told my father about my friends he would get kinda mad and give me the advice to stop talking to them.
Now I am afraid of people and have several trust issues, thanks dad.
This won’t end well.A Christmas Story GIF by filmeditorGiphy
In the fifth grade my teacher was talking about bullying, then she said "if anyone tries to bully you just agree with them." So the next time I got bullied I agreed with the bully and they bullied me more.
Dude one time I saw an anti bullying video that told the victims to just BE NICE TO THE BULLY. Like the bully was hurling insults and the victim was smiling and complimenting him. My first thought was about how much I hated the mere thought that this would work. My second thought was of how the people who came up with that method had clearly never been bullied.
When I met my now wife at the age of 19, one of my coworkers said that it's very important to start at the bottom with presents and work your way up, she still has the socks I gave her on our first anniversary on the wall over our bed as a reminder...
I'm still trying to teach my boyfriend about good presents and bad presents. Biscuits from the supermarket = bad present. Cheap unbranded laptop battery from China as my only present = bad present (and only lasted 2 months). Anything off my 7-page wishlist = good present. It's literally a list of things I want to receive as presents.
Can tell you from experience that this is a bad idea.
Had a falling out with some friends. My husband recommended I reach out to an old friend who ghosted me suddenly in a manner that induced some pretty severe abandonment trauma. Went for it anyways because "it's been so long, surely they changed". Am now experiencing the same things as last time.
When you follow bad advice, it can lead to mistakes that you just can’t come back from.
Buying a house is tricky.for sale dancing GIF by Lisa VertudachesGiphy
"Buy a home now before the prices go up!" -my FIL in 2006.
We bought in 2007 and paid $259,500 for our 1,300 sq ft house (we really couldn't afford it and had an 80/20 so we had 8% interest for one loan and 6% on the other) and in 2008 it was worth $97,000 so refinancing wasn't even an option. We watched all of our neighbors walk away or get foreclosed on but we kept paying our bills and as of this very moment our house is worth $462,000. I'm so happy we stuck it out, we both worked our @sses off and the house will be paid off in 2 years.
It worked out for us, it's a horrible idea. Especially since 1300 sq ft houses are $460+k
My heartbreaks for future generations, I honestly don't know how people are going to afford housing in the future.
It’s there for a reason.
"Never apply for any government assistance."
Cue years of suffering trying to work full-time with a painful disability. Quit a particularly terrible job, and wanted to apply for food aid until I could find another gig; a friend with lots of DHS experience recommended I apply for Social Security "just to get in the system." Turns out my disability was bad enough to get accepted the first time, which I wasn't expecting. Really could've used that support, oh, the 30+ previous years of my life.
Credit is important to have.
I was told to not get a credit card until after college. I was super fortunate to have my college paid for so I had no loans, car paid in cash, no credit card or anything to start building credit. Found myself out in the world at 22 years old with a credit score of 0.
So while a lot of this bad advice came from trusted people, oftentimes they were too misinformed to give that advice in the first place. Don't trust the word of one person--do your research, and make decisions for yourself.
It'll be way better in the long run
Every once in awhile, somebody comes along, enters your life, and catapults themselves to that awful, unique position at the top of your list of the worst people you have ever met.
Sometimes, the person's blindingly terrible behavior and overall essence is actually impressive. We ask ourselves, "how could a person like this actually exist on purpose?"
Alas, they do. And you have to deal with them. Or, if your lucky, you can carve out some distance.
Redditors shared descriptions of the worst people they've ever had the misfortune to meet. Some have escaped the relationship. Some are are still stuck in the clutches.
LoneStar202 asked, "Who is the worst person you have ever met?"
Some chose to talk about the acquaintances they simply couldn't help but encounter. External circumstances beyond their control made the stars align in the worst way possible.
Keeping the Peace
"There was this guy who used to come into the McDonald's where I did security overnight (yes, that's a job), and he was the biggest ahole I've ever met in my life."
"Ginger, 5'6 or so, named Colby, had a perpetual scowl on his face, looked for any reason to start a fight with anyone. He and his friend would come in when it's super busy, not order, and then yell at the staff that he paid and wasn't given a receipt in the hopes that they'd give him free food rather than deal with him."
"I kicked him out for six months on two separate occasions for coming in drunk and throwing things, drinking beer in the restaurant, starting fights, you name it. Only got in my face once and I never had to fight him, but I'm much bigger than him and the law is on my side."
"Not that I would necessarily have won. I'm big and strong, but I have no idea how to fight and he did. I called his bluffs because I was pretty sure he wouldn't attack me and he didn't."
"Funny, I just realized I've finally forgotten his last name. Not that I'd mention it. He might be less of a @ss now and he's no longer my business."
You Know 'Em
"I work with a real life, archetypal, Karen. She's two-faced, mean, anti-vax, and just generally the whole nine. The first interaction I ever had with her she had to make fun of me behind my back for being a dude with earrings."
"Recently kicked up a stink by making an 'anonymous' email address and emailing our HR department saying people were discriminating against folks not getting the covid vaccine.
"Luckily she's burned too many bridges for anyone to really take her crazy anymore but man is she frustrating to deal with."
Others discussed the family members that, for obvious reasons, they were forced to put up with for years and years. But even family isn't enough to keep a person like that around.
Marrying Into It
"It sounds cliche, but my ex-MIL. What made her the worst is that she was a covert POS."
"We always lived about 1k miles from them, so I didn't pick up on it for far, far too long, but goddamn, I've never met anyone with as much unacknowledged hate and cruelty in their heart."
A Thing of the Past
"My father. Cheater, never paid child support, verbally abusive to my mother, sister and I. Just all around bad dude."
"Haven't talked to him in about 15 years and am 100% ok with that."
So Many Problems
"My brother. He's like a cross between Kramer (Seinfeld, 'my newest thing' and mannerisms) and Frank from Its Always Sunny (illegal activity and completely illogical 'logic')."
"He's ripped me off for thousands of dollars (getting close to 5 figures). Constantly stealing anything he can, but claims 'borrowed' if caught with it. Been to jail 3 times and is currently on house arrest after over a year of probation violations. "
"The epitome of 'easier to say sorry than ask permission' (but the apologies are hollow) and 'what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine.' No consideration for anyone or anything. Manages to break virtually anything he touches. Hasn't had a job in over 1.5 years, but has been trying to fraudulently collect unemployment."
"Constantly thinks everyone is out to get him and people are stalking the camper he lives in (has security cameras that he watches frequently and often 'patrols' the area). Tries to break into locked doors and safe, and pulls the 'why don't you believe/trust me' line."
"I'm just scratching the surface here. He'd use your clippers/razor to shave his family jewels and not clean up the mess (something he's done multiple times)."
Finally, there were the stories of classmates. Whether it was high school, college, or even graduate school, there were enough people there all in one place that one or two rotten people were never far away.
"Guy from my high school was a wannabe thug. He ended up going to juvi junior year. After a year of juvi. He became a true criminal. Broke into people's homes. Stole from stores and got heavy into drugs."
"Then he eventually died after robbing the wrong store at gunpoint. The owner came out the back and shot him with a shotgun."
Wait for the Twist
"My gf's college classmate. Narcistic. Thought of himself as very important so he came into the church where we were graduating, on his HORSE. He damaged a 1000 or something-year-old church floor in Leiden. He thinks he didn't do anything wrong."
"And the weird thing is, we were graduating LAW SCHOOL"
Ride Like Lightning, Crash Like Thunder
"I had a classmate who wanted to become a stock broker and a millionaire. He said more than once, with absolute pride, 'When I'm rich I wont donate a single penny to the poor!' I asked him why and he said 'I have my own problems, and the poor being poor is not one of them.' "
"He opened his own business when he was 23 and was pretty successful, but suddenly a fire burned the place down while he was in it and he suffered from third degree burns all over his body."
"He later confessed setting the fire himself and was found guilty on insurance fraud. He's only 24 now and his professional life is basically over."
A Sudden Shift
"A teacher I once had. Didn't know me. Never spoke to me much."
"One day just randomly snapped at me. Yelling at me telling me that I had no future, that all the awards I got were to go to waste, that I the article I published which I spent hours working on and submitted didn't matter. That even though I was 14 and had many great achievements, I would end up just like that said teacher."
"Worst person I have ever encountered. Did collateral damage to my life as now I am a high school student with no more ambition. Wanna be a journalist? Wanna be a writer? A lawyer? Not anymore buddy."
Hopefully, you don't have too many of these people in your own life. But, let's face it, there's one or two people on your mind right now.
Here's hoping you managed to let go and get away.
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