Anxiety often stems from lack of experience in something, and in a world where I can text, use a messenger app, send a chat, etc. there just isn't as much need to make phone calls as there once was.
Which means a whole lot of us turn into flaming dumpster fires when we can't avoid it.
Note, I said "us" - I'm right here with you, fam. Yes the phone call is easier and often cheaper than downloading the app, paying a processing fee and a delivery fee, and then tipping the driver - but is paying an extra $7 for pizza really SO bad?
Yes. The answer is yes. Over time that adds up and that means I have less money, which means less pizza!
Reddit user mildmusings asked:
"Have you experienced phone anxiety, where you get extremely nervous and embarrassed when answering/making a phone call, even when its something as simple as ordering a pizza? If so, how do you deal with it?"
Reddit, as always, came through with some helpful and not so helpful advice.
My major takeaway from all of this is that pizza is the main motivator for LOTS of people to get past this. That makes me feel so much better about myself.
Hesitation Makes It Weird
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"100%. I just have to pick up the phone and call."
"The longer I think about it directly corresponds to how much weird sh*t comes out of my mouth. By just calling or just answering with no thought about it I’m able to be myself at the least."
- On_theMind
"Yes! And when someone calls just pick up right away."
"It's tempting to mute it and say you'll call back later but the anxiety will just grow. Just answer the phone and get it over with, before you start constructing a weird script in your head."
- nattykat47
"Same. It’s always the anticipation, allowing myself to think of everything that could go wrong, making up scenarios in my head, that makes it difficult."
"Just need to pick up, dial, be relaxed and take it as it comes."
"I try to tell myself that there’s absolutely no need to be prepared for every eventuality or to rehearse responses to every possible question, but I always work myself up anyway."
- ManInTheMudhills
Pizza Is The Answer
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"I went the exposure therapy route and took a job answering phones at a pizza place."
"Once I realized I was kinda playing a character (pizza phone guy) and could hide behind that I was fine and that spilled over to other calls."
- bread-in-captivity
"Same for me!"
"Super introverted 16 year old me eventually got over answering calls by working in the pizza shop and taking calls. Still hate making calls to people that aren't expecting me though."
- LunaGuardian
"I was made by my parents to order some pizza to collect, but I was talking too quickly that one of the pizzas was the totally wrong one, so my mom needed to wait for the right pizza."
"Maybe try talking to strangers more often. Because most of the time isn't it the phone call itself that is scary, but knowing that you are talking to someone you dont know."
- FeriaStar
Scripting Success
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"Oh my dude - I got you. LET ME TELL YOU A THING."
"I will literally write down a short script. I'll have my phone number, my address if needed, DOB stuff for me and my kids, health care numbers... all that stuff written down or close to hand."
"I'll have notes, questions I need to ask, etc. If I'm particularly upset about something I'll even write down my greeting and key phrases. I'll rehearse if I need to."
"I have been doing this since I was a kid. My mum made fun of me for it once (I had to call in to a radio station to post an ad and I even wrote down my "ums" because I was so nervous about how to sound) and I thought for yeeeears that I was just dumb and the LAMEST."
"Fast forward to age 36."
"I have debilitating anxiety, ADD, genuine auditory processing issues, and possible ASD."
"I don't f*cking worry about whether it's lame anymore - scripting is literally a tool for people with my issues, I've had counselors recommend it many times."
"Turns out little kid me was a smart cookie. Wish I could tell her that."
- MagpieMandible
Practice
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"Yes. Then I worked as a receptionist for two years where I wore a permanent headset due to the volume of calls. No more fear of phones."
"If it helps, rehearse what you want to say before hand."
"If you're ordering food, have the menu at hand. If it's a billing issue or you're calling the bank (or anything related), have your ID at hand and any membership number or account number (whichever applies)."
"This way you avoid scrambling to get your info."
"Always have a pen and paper ready - ALWAYS. If you are taking down an email address, don't be shy to use the Nato phonetic alphabet. ("So that's A for alpha, R for romeo, full stop, zero, @gmail.com. Is that correct?") Then read it back to them. In my reception days, I literally printed this out and read from it when spelling a name or email address."
"Start the call with who you are and why you're calling. For example: 'Hi, my name is x and I would like to order a pizza.' "
" 'Hi, my name is X and I need assistance with my billing for January. Could you help me or transfer me to the correct department?' "
"And end your call with 'Thanks for your help, keep well. Goodbye.' "
"I always address people as sir/ma'am unless they correct me or tell me to call them by name. Don't be shy to ask 'I'm sorry, could you please repeat/confirm your name?' "
"The only way you get over this fear is with practice."
- dead_PROcrastinator
Trauma Time
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"Went to therapy."
"After a few weeks, I realized my phone anxiety was a convoluted leftover from PTSD from something seemingly unrelated as a teen. Cured almost literally overnight."
"Truly bizarre how I went from feeling like I was made of lead and unable to do anything except wait in dread if I needed to make/was expecting a phone call to saying on multiple occasions, 'Oh I'll just call, it's easier [than texting/emailing].' "
- OhSoManyQuestions
Do The Thing
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"Stop giving a sh*t what people think of you and just do the thing."
"People in customer service deal with idiots all day long, they don't care if you stumble your words or don't know what you're doing as long as they can get you through the transaction."
"I have the same problem as the person posting this and this was how I decided to approach it. I work through the nerves and get it done even if I don't want to make the call."
"There's no brilliant 100 point solution for this, you simply bite the bullet knowing the person on the other end of the phone has heard worse and wants to get this over with just as much as you do."
- SquilliamFancySon95
"That's right."
"I've said the dumbest sh*t to customer service people and still got the help i needed. Just stay friendly is all it takes."
- _BEER_
Avoid Whenever Possible
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"I didn't realize I had phone anxiety until I got my first call center job and was a wreck before every single shift."
"I never had a problem talking on the phone every day in high school with friends, girlfriends, etc... but as soon as I get on the phone with a stranger that has expectations for me (and is probably already irritated), my stress levels spike."
"My theory is that it stems from the depersonalization of not being able to see a real human; it's just two voices on the phone."
"You have no body language to use, and any period of silence you might use to gather your words feels incredibly awkward, so you feel pressured to respond to everything really quickly."
"Because of that call center job I never got over the phone anxiety. I don't even like talking with friends on the phone anymore."
"I don't have a strategy, I just try to avoid talking on the phone whenever possible. When I have to, I just grit my teeth and bear through it."
- halloweenjon
Move Out, Call A Doctor
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"Yeah, I refused to make phone calls when I was in high school because it was seriously nerve-wracking."
"Like, if I had to book a doctor's appointment, I would simply not see the doctor at all because I didn't want to make the phone call. Ordering a pizza would be out of the question."
"Once I moved out of home, I got a bit better at it - especially since stuff happened and I was constantly having to book doctors/specialists/tests over the phone."
"I still don't like doing it, but after a few years of practice, I can answer the phone and make necessary phone calls without having panic attacks or anything."
"There are some strategies to help (e.g. writing down any relevant information and having pen/paper in front of you). In saying that, if it's affecting you (especially if it's paired with something else like social anxiety or general anxiety), it's worth talking to a doctor about."
- notthinkinghard
Nobody Cares
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"Heck yeah! I used to pathologically avoid making calls to check on things, to order stuff, to pay bills, and ESPECIALLY to ask questions / get support from a company."
"I got over it by realizing that there's nothing WRONG with calling and asking. And, that not only do they not care who I am (past whatever they have to do right now), they'll forget about me as soon as they hang up, possibly earlier."
"If I'm calling to get something fixed, it's their JOB to answer that call and take care of it. They expect to do their job, they're getting paid for it. And in an 8 hour day, I'm just another random person they won't remember."
"I got over it by realizing it didn't matter to the people I was talking to that I was talking to. That random people calling me are not sincerely looking for a relationship, they're doing a job they're getting paid to do, and I owe them nothing."
"And after I say 'no thanks not interested' and hang up on them while they're trying to take advantage of social custom and politeness, they'll forget and move right on to the next one. Not even a blip in their day."
"There's something called the spotlight effect, where we think everyone is watching us and judging us. The reality is, most people don't care, so you can drop the niceties in these transactional conversations."
- Deliberate_Engineer
The Assistant
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"The best technique I found was to act as if you're an assistant making the call on your boss's behalf."
"Nobody is very mean to an assistant (except true a**holes and they would have been awful anyway.) And it's so much easier to make 'unpleasant' requests or be clueless if you're passing the buck."
"I learned this by being an assistant and having a terrible boss who made me make all sorts of awkward phone calls, lol."
- ObjectSmall
Readers, if you have phone anxiety what methods have you used to get past it?
Does it actually impact your life that much in the world of apps, chats, and messengers?
Sound off in the comments.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.