Ok, so I may be good at some things (namely reciting Toni Collette's monologue from Hereditary at any chance I get), but one thing I'm definitely terrible at is sleeping. Not only do I have trouble falling asleep, causing me to not sleep until 4am, but I also have hypersomnia. So when I am asleep, I'm deceased for ten hours. It sucks.
So today I'm delving into the jungle that is Reddit to learn all about how to sleep better. Come along for the ride, it'll be eye-opening (or closing, if you wanna be literal). U/monkeyswingin asked:
People who fall asleep within few minutes, how do you it?
Here we go, Sleep 101. Take notes, there will be a test at the end of this article that is 90% of your final grade.
That last tip sounds the most effective, tbh.
“Day dream like I would as a kid, get so immersed I fall asleep."
“The trick for me is meditation. Practice it all day every day. Don't think unless you need to, to accomplish something. Once it becomes your innate state of being, falling asleep happens in about 30 seconds. Just listen to your breath without thinking, and if you're in bed and it's dark, you'll fall asleep almost immediately.
Another way is to drink 3-4 9% IPAs starting at 5 pm."
I’m gonna try this tonight.
At Home Reaction GIF by IKEA USAGiphy“I never used to be able to sleep through the night. I was up at 2 or 3 am for 3 hours. I read this can be due to anxiety. So I moved my sleep time from 9:30-10 to 11:30-12. So I am utterly exhausted by that time.
If I'm struggling to fall asleep, I try to re-image a dream I had another night or go through flexing each muscle and then imagining it off once flexed (starts my with each toe).”
Sometimes it comes from adaptation.
“I was homeless for about a year. One thing about being homeless: sleep conditions suck. I became conditioned to sleep through anything.
Now that I have a more stable life, falling asleep is a breeze.
So the trick? Homeless sleep therapy.”
Interesting way of putting it.
“I lay down, I sleep.
Having a fantasy (not sexual...although, of course, that does help you relax/get to sleep) to focus on definitely helps at times - but there can be times I overuse a fantasy so can't really get into it anymore, then I'm stuck without anything to focus on and my mind runs away with itself so I can't sleep."
God, I’m getting tired just reading these. Maybe I’ll have a normal sleep schedule again. Probably not, but a girl can dream.
Melatonin is the best.
Homer Simpson Coffee GIF by swerkGiphy“No caffeine after noon, don't lay in bed unless you're going to sleep, and routine bed/wake up times
I also have medication just in case (melatonin and a real sleep aid).”
“I used to think caffeine didn't really do anything for me (I don't "need" a cuppa in the morning to get me going, nor do I feel any kind of rush after a drink), but I noticed that if I have coffee in the evening, I find it harder to sleep at night. It's really noticeable since I'm one of those who usually falls asleep within minutes of going to bed. So just to be safe I think it's okay to drink it earlier in the day, but not past tea time or something.”
Heads have a hard time shutting up at night.
“It literally takes me on average 30-45min to fall asleep if not longer at times. This is mostly due to my head just never shutting up. I constantly daydream, fantasize, or re-live moments of the day/ week and I can't turn it off. It sucks.
I only recently started taking sleep gummies, but they only help me stay asleep not fall asleep.”
Certain tricks work for certain people.
“Sadly there's no trick to it. I don't do any of the stuff you're supposed to - no cutting back on electronics, or only using your bed to sleep. I drink caffeinated sodas near bedtime, I'm not as active as I should be, I have anxiety, etc.
When I feel sleepiness stirring behind my eyes - I go lay in bed, put down my phone, and I'm gone in fifteen. I have random nights of fitful sleep but generally it comes easy. I also dream every night, sometimes several different ones.
I am very grateful as several close friends struggle with insomnia.”
My weird sleep thing is that I fall asleep in about two seconds if I sleep on the couch, rather than the bed. Weird.
Sleep hygiene is important.
Tired Kim Kardashian GIFGiphy“I've posted something like this before, but sleep hygiene.
I used to be a full on insomniac, laying awake in bed for hours, getting maybe a few hours of fitful sleep a night, always tired. I'm an anxious person and stuff would just run through my head all night and I couldn't stop it.
These days, I fall asleep within minutes and get restful sleep about 80% of the time.
Sleep hygiene changed my life, but fair warning, you're probably not going to like what it entails.
Start using your bed only for sleeping and sex. Don't read your phone, watch TV, play video games, etc. And start a regular bed time. It doesn't matter if for a few weeks you can't fall asleep, just get into bed at 10pm, read a book (paper or sidelit e-ink, no backlights) for 30-45 minutes, then close your eyes and lay there. Focus on your breathing, slow and deep breaths, direct your attention back to the breathing as it invariably wanders.
In general, try to avoid eating or using backlit screens (tv, computer, phone, tablet) for at least an hour before bed. Don't drink caffeinated beverages after 2pm, even if "caffeine doesn't affect you." Try to get a bit of exercise every day, even if it's light exercise like walking or doing a 7 minute HIIT workout.
If you commit to this for a month or two, doing it even when "it's not working" I bet you you'll eventually begin to sleep better.
After you're in a habit, you can break these rules for special occasions once in a while and the impact won't be as big since you're in the habit already. But at least for a month or so, be rigorous and inflexible.
If all this seems too difficult, the half-@ss version is just no backlit screens an hour before bed. Doesn't matter if you have flux or a blue light filter on or whatever. Just don't do it.
Good luck!"
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Meditation always helps.
“Meditation.
It definitely did the trick for me. I used to struggle falling to sleep even someone else's light breathing would set me into a sleepless rage.
Once I got the hang of meditating I applied it to my sleep. I had a few techniques. One of them was each time I had a thought or train of thought, and came to the realisation I was having a thought I would let it go. Essentially stop thinking about it and focus on emptying my mind. Maybe I would focus on breathing or how exciting it will be to fall asleep and wake up feeling rested."
"I felt this basically broke the habit of me overthinking before sleep. Or getting too emotional from lights or sounds around me. It took quite a few weeks to get the hang of it and make it a habit but eventually I got there and started seeing results.
I also think investing in a good pillow and bed or mattress topper. I got my bed 2nd hand for $300 NZD and spent $80 NZD on a latex pillow and it totally changed the game.
Also a good stretching practice or yoga so your aches and pains don't wake you in the night."
CPAPs are a life-saver.
“I managed to train myself with my new CPAP machine. It is so much quieter and comfortable than my previous machine. Mask goes on and I am usually out within 15 minutes. If I reach more than 30 minutes I get up for a little while.”
Be Creative
"I don't know if it will help you but I choose a creative subject like a recent game where I'm trying to build a house or how I want to build my garden, etc. Then I just work through steps on what it would take, where they would go, etc. just avoid doing it with any actual work."
"Part of the reason people can't stop thinking about a work task while falling asleep is because they're anxious they'll forget by morning. Sleep therapists or whatever instead suggest you write that down as a short note in a journal on night stand instead and don't focus on it until the next day."
Through the Calves...
"I have been using this trick for a few years that has not failed yet (that I'd use if i really had to sleep right then and there), which is to slowly relax all your body muscles/parts. Starting with your feet, relax your feet muscles and pretend that you no longer have feet, don't move it at all, then once you feel that your feet aren't there anymore, u move on to your calves and thighs, then hands, arms, etc. usually id fall asleep by the time i reach the calves."
The Game Inside
"I play a game inside my head where i imagine cleaning my room. It doesn't matter if my irl room is actually dirty or if the dream room even resembles mine, I just pick a few tasks and get to work. focusing on this keeps me from getting anxious about stuff that happened during the day, which i find is what keeps me up most often. plus it's relaxing, and i always fall asleep before i actually finish tidying."
Monsters Inc Reaction GIF by filmeditorExhaust...
"Sheer exhaustion. Or illness. Otherwise, I'm wide awake for too long."
"It's the exhaustion to me also. When I just sit at home doing nothing, I find it difficult to go to bed in the first place and when I do it's difficult to fall asleep too. When I work out during the day or have otherwise busy day, I usually fall asleep faster and the quality of sleep is much better for me as in I'm actually not tired the next day even when I've slept similar hours."
- Joulle
That's A Rap
"I wake up at 5am which helps me get tired earlier. Sexual release helps a lot whether it be real or masturbation. I turn on my side, and that's a rap. I don't have any tv on in my room either. It's dark. Probably not the answers you are looking for, but that is what happens. I tend to sleep through the night (go to bed around 10 or 10:30 and wake up at 5am)."
AC/DC...
"To make my brain shut up at night I put in earplug headphones and put a song on repeat. Having the music playing forces my brain to shut up and just repeat the song lyrics instead. I only do this with slow sad lofi songs that really only have a few lyrics. Trying to sleep to AC/DC wouldn't work. The only bad thing is that I wake up tangled in my earplugs."
9 to 5 Process
"I work hard so that by the end of the day I'm tired enough to pass out."
- AtomicXET
"This. If you haven't done much work that day and spend your last hours in front of a bright screen it's certain you aren't gonna get sleep. If you are exhausted the first thing you wanna so is sleep, late night internet browsing be dammed."
Press Play
"I just lie down and close my eyes. I'll often put a podcast on, but I rarely get past the first couple minutes without falling asleep."
"I fall asleep much faster with a podcast or audiobook on! Not sure why. But if I'm having a hard time sleeping I'll just play something and I'm usually asleep in minutes. Maybe it mimics being told a story to sleep when we were kids."
"For me it helps prevent my mind from wandering into anxiety territory which happens to me at times. If I get started worrying about one thing it will lead to more things to obsess about and sleep gets far away. A podcast or audiobook focuses me on that story and I have a much better chance of nodding off in a more timely fashion."
- Zinfan1
Gone...
At Home Reaction GIF by IKEA USAGiphy"I just lay my head on the pillow and.... I'm gone."
- M4dMil0
My husband can confirm that last one. Once he has his CPAP on, he’s out. I’m lowkey jealous, I say as I sit awake at nearly 1am writing this article.
Thanks for reading, now go to sleep. You gotta be up early.
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Redditor H5N1BirdFlu wanted to discuss the moments in life that left us haunted and shook, so they asked:
"What is the creepiest or most unexplained event that you have ever experienced?"
I've seen so much creepiness I wouldn't know where to begin.
Deal
Walter White Wink GIF by Breaking BadGiphy"One car from one direction, and another car from the other direction stopped in front of my house. Both drivers got out and one gave the other a briefcase. Now that I am older I am guessing it was some kind of drug deal or something but at the time I found it very weird."
yapastaocho
'The Entertainer'
"We had a little copper music box that would start playing on its own. It was a man sitting at a player-piano and it would play 'The Entertainer' song. Now, I know that music boxes and such can spring (for lack of a better word) forward and play a few notes, but this thing would act like someone had wound it up and would play for a minute or two completely at random."
MercuryCrest
He?
"Me and and someone I used to know in high school way back when met to catch up. We were talking about our views on religion at some park. When we were walking back to our cars some guy said he had overheard us. We interacted a little and then went to our cars. I told her how awkward I felt knowing he overheard everything. She looked at me and said, 'He?'”
"After some comparing notes we realized we’d seen and heard entirely different people. She’d seen an elderly woman. I’d seen a middle aged man. Only problem is we only talked to the one person."
AccomplishedAuthor53
Overnight
"I usually go hiking and stay in the forest overnight, sleeping in a bivy and sometimes under a tarp. Now it's important to say I'm based in Europe. So no wild animals to be afraid of because usually they just boot it as soon as they notice you."
"So one winter night I'm sleeping under my tarp which connects to the ground on one side. It's in an area where there were fierce battles in the forrest on the border between Germany and Belgium in WWII."
"I hear something walking in the leaves, which is normal. There are always deer and ferral pigs on and about. But this time it comes closer and closer until I hear it right on the other side of my tarp and it starts growling. Its a noise I gad never heard and for a moment I was frozen trying to figure out what it might be and what to do."
"But I just decided to yell back and that did the trick. The animal walked a few steps and then turned back to growl once more before finally retreating."
"Let's put it this way, I didn't sleep for a while after that. I looked up the noise and think it was a badger."
Forest_Walkin
Devoured
Episode 4 Abc GIF by The BachelorGiphy"My family used to raise cattle. One morning I came out to check on them and I found one of the heifers had been more or less completely devoured."
"This same cow was perfectly fine the day before. There was nothing left but some hide, bones, and intestines. Thing is none of the predators that are in my area would be able to kill and eat an entire cow within the course of one night. Much less leave so little behind."
Aussieshepman
Poor cows. They live a rough life.
The Night Before
Get Out Omg GIF by Get Out MovieGiphy"When I was a kid, we lived in a kinda rural area. One night we came home late from an Uncle's house and there was a car parked up the road from our house with the headlights on."
"My mom suggested to my dad that we go see if they need help, he said no, so we went inside. Next morning police knocked on the door, a cyclist had spotted a body in the ditch exactly where the car was parked the night before."
Tpeest
Documents
"I have had a strange thing happen recently. I was waiting for my tax documents to come in so I could do my taxes. I had three documents that I put on my bedside table until I had the time."
"I decided to do it the other day and I couldn't find one of them. I tore the house apart, quizzed my husband (who swore he never touched it), checked the garbage, etc. I had resigned myself to the fact I would have to request another one, when it arrived in the mail."
"It was the same one, exact same information. I was really confused but grateful. I checked into it, it was not sent twice as far as the office could tell me."
"I don't know what to think. I KNOW I had that document because I had done some calculations with it. It's been itching at me like crazy."
monitormonkey
About 30 Feet
"A few months ago I was sitting in my living room on the couch, watching tv with a family member late at night. We have a high ceiling with a couple of rectangular windows at the very top of the wall just under where it meets the ceiling. The windows are so high (about 30 feet) we really only have them for natural lighting."
"So on the night in question, a green laser beam suddenly shown down through one of the windows, seemingly scanned the entire living room before stopping and pointing the beam right next to my family member for about 10 seconds and then disappearing entirely. It had to be either a drone or from some sort of flying aircraft. I live in a relatively secluded place which made the situation all the more unsettling."
0friday
Find Her
"Pretty sure I witnessed a kidnapping once and it still lives rent free in my head (the woman lost her slipper when she was trying to get away and i took a picture of it that i still have for some reason). I did indeed report it to police right after I saw it occur but they were pretty blasé about it and I never ended up being able to determine what they did to investigate."
ergaster8213
From Behind
the exorcist shadow GIFGiphy"I was in Jr High and had really long hair. I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and almost tripped on a shoe on the floor. I bent down to move it and it felt like someone grabbed my entire pony tail and yanked it. I also could not sleep facing the wall for the longest time because it always felt like someone or something was right there behind me."
cheeseburgerphone182
Never face the wall. Life lesson.
These were some harrowing experiences, and we're glad these Redditors made it out to tell the story.
Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor NeedSomeSparkInLife wanted to know who would be willing to share, so they asked:
"What makes you not want to be intimate with your SO?"
I'm an easily turned off person.
So it doesn't take much.
Desire
Bored Season 5 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Taking a moment to realize I'm the only one that makes sexual advances in the relationship. Makes me not want it. People think men only want sex for face value but a lot of men actually want the feeling of being desired more so."
Relative-Hour-9359
Anger Issues
"I've always heard of fighting then having sex after. Fighting has always made me not want it. The last thing I want to do when someone pisses me off is have sex with them. What made it worse is she always wanted to when we were arguing which made the argument worse when I refused."
DaMoonRulez_1
"I think you're supposed to resolve your fight, realize that you care for each other a lot, move past it, then have the passion because of that. Not fight right into sex."
Ksp-or-GTFO
Take a Shower
"My ex and I were together for nearly 7 years, but his hygiene never improved, so we stopped being intimate like, 3 years before I finally broke up with him. He showered only once a week, but he worked in kitchens, so he was sweaty and greasy all the time."
"He had an infected tooth, so he constantly had bad breath, but he refused to visit a dentist, even when he had the money to afford dental work. He stopped working out within the first year of us being together, which sucked because he would get jealous if I went to the gym by myself or with my girlfriends, but he refused to come with me."
GreenChorizo
Sober Time
"Personally, the only issue I have is my SO's drinking. He just becomes an unattractive person when he's drunk. It's one thing if we're both out socializing and drinking together occasionally, but he drinks almost every day, sitting on the couch in front of the TV and to the point of sloppy drunkenness way too often. His face changes, his posture changes, his personality changes... I just get so turned off."
WeptSiren3113
Hang Up
Art Hello GIF by LINDSEY L33Giphy"When they are glued to their phones non stop! Put that s**t down and look at me before we go to bed!"
Palmwine
"I really dislike this too. Makes me feel alone in the relationship."
RealBrownPerson
No phones in bed. Hard rule for many of us to follow.
Step Back
Be Quiet Go Away GIF by Ryn DeanGiphy"When I make a move, and then get the feeling she's not really in the mood/would only do it to please me. I want us both to have a good time, not only me. So when she seems not into it, I take a step back."
Level-Plate8372
Calm Down
"To be brutally honest, her anxiety and insecurity makes sex such a hassle. She doesn’t believe anything I say about wanting her, she can almost never relax during sex, she doesn’t take time to enjoy it, and if God forbid I have any trouble finishing, she takes it more personally than anything, which of course puts more pressure on me to finish, which then makes it almost impossible."
Ben_Franklinstein
When at Wal-Mart
"When they’ve done something really nasty/unkind that day. Cruelty is the most ugly thing a person can show, in my eyes. I had a boyfriend that I went to Wal-Mart with and he ended up flipping off and storming right past the sweet little old man that checks the receipts at the door."
"It was partially about how I used to check receipts and I remembered how I felt when people treated me like that- but I also remember the look on the little old man’s face and just how disgusted I was with my partner being so nasty about it."
"I couldn’t touch him after that and I got grossed out when he touched me. And then I started to notice how he was nasty to other people as well. It eventually led to our break up."
spxdergirl
33 Years In
"My husband used to dislike his job - he’d come home and do nothing but bi**h. After awhile, I just gave up trying to cheer him up with sex - you can only try so long. So, we had a long dry spell - like, whatever you think a dry spell would be, it’s longer. When someone is constantly annoyed, well, it’s hard to feel amorous."
"Anyway, he early retired (54) like a month before Covid kicked in and by autumn that year, well, let’s just say we’re back to what we were like when we first met. He’s not pissed off all the time. (I’m retired as well, and let’s just say, afternoon nookie is such a perk, as is morning nookie and 3am nookie because you can sleep in!) I’m glad we stayed together. Going on 33 years and we’re just so happy."
NicInNS
Rage
Angry Inside Out GIF by Disney PixarGiphy"Feeling angry. I hate feeling angry. I don't like being around other people when angry. So I'll go for a walk, a drive etc, and just clear my head."
jackfaire
It seems like "dead bed," as some folks call it, can stem from many things, from mood, attraction, hygiene, and more.
Do you have anything to add to this list? Let us know in the comments.