"Redditors in a relationship, how do you feel about your partner having full access to your phone such as text messages, photos, your apps, everything?"
Context Is Everything
"I wouldn't care unless the openness was only one way or constantly being used as a tool to constantly unsuccessfully prove I'm being unfaithful."- varthalon
"It's strange because i wouldn't care if someone looked through my phone, I have nothing to hide."
"BUT someone demanding that they can look through it is a massive red flag."- BunnyMcRabbitson
Red Flag Nascar GIF by Richard Childress RacingGiphyMeh...
"I don't care."
"There's nothing there."
"I can get on her phone, too."
"But I don't want to."
"Being married 40+ years does that to you, I guess."- mike11172
"Been married 33 yrs."
"My husband can access everything if he wants."
"I don't care in the least."
"Not much to see."- chalisa0
"I don't care if my husband looks through my phone, emails or whatever else."- galactictictac·
so what who cares tv show GIFGiphyGo Right Ahead
"Sure."
"Worst she'll find in my dumb searches."- Iisham
Nothing To Worry About
"My partner and I have each other's passwords but don't go through each other's stuff because he's always had an iPhone, I've always had an Android, and we don't know how to work the other OS."- abominable-ho-man
"The hell they gonna find, pictures of our cats?"
"Have at 'er..."- miffy495
Cats Ducking GIF by MOODMANGiphyCouldn't Stop Him If They Tried...
"He knows all my passwords."- LunaTic0922
Allow It? I Encourage It!
"My husband has full access to my phone and my passwords and I have full access to his."
"I would trust him with my life without any hesitation, I definitely don’t mind knowing that he has access to my phone."- Hekatevenstar
"Not a problem."
"I don't keep secrets and my sweetie isn't the jealous type."- Xylorgos
Good Night Hug GIF by JinGiphyHard No!
"I don't allow it."
"My friends and family occasionally tell me things in confidence that my husband doesn't need to know."- feral_hippie
"I consider it to be a red flag."
"Now, you might think 'Well if you're not doing anything wrong, then you have nothing to hide from your partner', right?"
"However, that doesn't invalidate my privacy."
"Not every little conversation and every little interaction has to be up for review."
"It also speaks to going into a relationship with an immense lack of trust or faith, which leads me to wonder why you'd engage with someone else to begin with."- MenagerieMiyamoto
"Married over 20 years."
"F*ck that."
"If I can't have some measure of privacy then I'd rather be alone."- Southernerd
No No No GIFGiphySharing Is Caring
"He's my partner it's fine, I see no issue."
"I'm not acting weird or crazy or creating some kind of suspicious environment to where we're snooping in each other's phones."
"The best thing about having nothing to hide, your brain can relax, you don't need to lie and you can."
"Leave things where you set then and not worry, like a phone on the table instead of carrying it all the time."- Hachimon1479
If there's anyone who one should feel free to share absolutely anything and everything with, it's their romantic partner.
Even so, everyone has a right to privacy, and everyone has the right to fill their phone with whatever content they like, without judgment or stress.
Curious to hear from smartphone users who crawled into a hole and never again wanted to see the light of day, Redditor TylerDuuurden asked:
"What's the most embarrassing/cringy thing you've accidentally shown someone, or something they accidentally saw while using your phone or computer?"
It goes without saying that accidentally seeing NSFW content was a frequent example from Redditors.
What The Internet Specialist Saw
"Oh god."
"My internet was down. Had to have the Bell Aliant guy come to fix it. When it was fixed he asked me to just check it was working properly, so I refreshed a tab and it instantly opened the porn I was watching before the internet died."
"As a 21 year old woman that was the most horrifically embarrassing moment of my life."
"He then said 'Is there anything else you need?'"
"And I became worried I was living in the plot to the world's most cliché porn."
– DreyaNova
Sounds Like Pleasure
"During college my girlfriend worked night shifts so I would sometimes crash at her place that way I’d be there when she got off in the mornings. one night her roommates had a few people over to drink and I, being alone, decided to crank one out. Spent about 3-5 mins watching some.. material wondering why the audio wouldn’t work on my phone. Then I hear an eruption of laughter from the kitchen (it was a small apartment). Turns out I was the last one that connected to the bluetooth speaker they were using and was blasting my porn audio to an apartment full of people. I have never been so embarrassed in my life and I laid there for what felt like an eternity afterwards listening to them all die laughing."
– thabender
Viewing History
"Not me, but a friend of mine was living with his dad, and they only had one computer in the house (this was 15+ years ago). My friend was showing his dad how to do something on the computer and they opened up Windows media player. Somehow it started playing the last video watched... which was a lesbian porn video that my friend had been watching."
– DeathSpiral321
The Enlightenment
"I was helping a man download a Bible app onto his phone. I had to go into his browser to search something for him, and it was all porn. About 50 tabs open, each showing what term he'd put into Google, and the search terms were the kind that a 10 year old would use."
"I finished getting him the app and attempted to peace out, although not before having to tactfully decline giving him my phone number."
– LittleBitOdd
These will remind you to double-check who you're sending what to.
Wrong Recipient
"My fiancé was sending me some sexy nudes on Snapchat one day. She had a bit too much to drink by this time. I got all of them, but so so did one of her sisters and a few she accidentally posted to her story. Luckily one of her female friends saw it and told her so she could delete them before anyone else saw them. Her sister snapped her back a thumbs up that said Didn’t want to see that, but hey nice vag! Lol. She was incredibly embarrassed naturally and it took a while before I got saucy pics again."
– Dis4Wurk
The Other Dynamite
"My mother was once trying to show my friend a picture of John Heder (Napoleon Dynamite) she got while at a panel of his. There were my dad's dick pics instead O_o"
– Tokiw4
Monitor Your Photo Album
"I was kind of on the flipside of this when my uncle was going through pictures of my baby cousin on his phone and swiped too far to show me a picture of my auntie standing completely naked in a doorway. The image is still burned into my mind..."
– jamiedunne420
A Swipe Too Far
"A friend was showing us his holliday pictures and accidentally swiped too far and showed us all a selfie of his a**hole then one of his balls when he tried to fix it."
– bfgjuju123
Private Portfolio
"My partner showed his friends some pictures from a vacation years ago and he scrolled too far back and he accidentally showed them my nudes. I was 5ft away and died."
– osmosisaturn
Zune Session
"Had the minister of my church at my house. He wanted to upload music from his laptop onto my Zune (tells you when this was). He turns it on and the Zune immediately displays a topless picture of my fianceé, a girl he's known since birth having been best friends with her parents. He just clears his throat and says, 'I didn't see that.' The rest of my time with him that day was incredibly awkward but he never brought it back up again. edit: To clear up any confusion the picture was on my Zune that I had taken. The pastor knew nothing about it prior to seeing it."
– gil_beard
The Crush Code
"In college I had a crush on a guy whose name was 4 letters. I set it as my phone passcode. When I was home for break, my brother took my phone and started teasing me about liking this guy, then he tried to unlock my phone using his name as the passcode. It worked."
– cunninglinguist32557
Busted
"Older man caught me looking at boobs on my phone during a bus ride home. I quickly scrolled up, realizing that I was in public. He leaned over and said 'hey, we can share.' Got off three stops before my own."
– gyratepirate
Now would be a good time to go through your photos on your phone.
The only guarantee that anyone would not inadvertently see your naughty nudes or screenshotted NSFW pics from the internet would be to either erase them from your devices or back them up to the cloud.
But if you need easy access to your erotic visuals, then whatever ends up happening is all on you.
Who knew trying to be discreet would be such a chore in the 2020s?
"What is a Scam that everybody should know about?"
Always Go Back To The Source
"If you every get an email about account activity that you aren't expecting, I.E password changes, sus logins, etc., NEVER click the link that was sent to you."
"Instead open a new window or tab and go to the website contacting you and use their proper support line."- DrPepster
Praying On The Elderly And Vulnerable
"Scams I've warned my parents about:"
"NEVER get onto a computer if a 'customer service' rep who called them tells them to."
"I will never take a trip overseas without telling them, find myself stranded and need money wired to me."- dougiebgood
When You Have To Pay To Pay...
"Being charged a 'convenience fee' for the 'honor' of being able to pay a bill by phone or online."
"Uhm - really? "
"I have to PAY you to PAY you?"- Senior_Morng4210
Read The Fine Print
"The Biden Administration is not personally contacting you about insurance or student loan debt."- 1Strict-Succotash-405
Be Careful What You Do On Camera
"I've seen a ton of this scam happening:"
"Dude meets 'hot girl' online somehow, whether from a dating site, or forum somewhere, instagram, etc."
'Hot girl' asks to snapchat / facetime / whatever, for sexy stuff."
"Dude jerks off on video for 'her'."
"'Hot girl' turns out to not be a hot girl, and is instead a scammer who now threatens to send that video to all of his instagram, twitter, facebook, etc. followers unless he sends money."
"This crazily seems to happen ALL THE TIME and people still fall for it."- Top-Royal6249
"See The Pyramids Along The Nile..." Or Online...
"Every single MLM out there."
"There is not a single 'good' one."
"It has nothing to do with products and everything to do with the business model."
"You are set up to fail 100 percent of the time."- PumpkinPure5643
Be Selective With Online Shopping
"I'm a postal worker."
"A problem I've uncovered a couple of times are on-line sellers giving you a tracking number for a small inexpensive item that is going to the same zip code as the item that you have ordered."
"When that item is scanned 'delivered', 99% of the time to another postal customer, you will think that your nice expensive item that you have ordered is lost or mis-delivered when in reality it was never sent at all."
"Or your PayPal account is hacked with the same scenario--the expensive item that you have ordered is diverted to another party and the tracking number that you had issued to you is for an inexpensive item going to the same zip code."
"I had that happen just yesterday in fact."
"A lady came in screaming at me because 'I' lost her package that she said was delivered to a parcel locker, according to her tracking number, but it wasn't there."
"That package was indeed still there at the post office and I pulled it out to show her."
"It was addressed to another customer and it had been delivered to them in the parcel locker, as the tracking number indicated."
"So, be careful when you shop on-line."
"Thieves find ways to capitalize on anything."- touristspleasegoaway
Get A Good Realtor...
"HoA charging a fee to sell your house."
"Especially when it's a % of the cost of the house."- MMOAddict
When A Job Seems To Good To Be True
"Fake job scams are becoming increasingly common now that WFH jobs are becoming popular, here is how it works.
"An 'employer' contacts you for an interview, the pay is usually very good, too good to refuse especially for people who are down bad."
"You 'pass' the interview and you're sent the generic hiring paperwork, this is really bad as it is sometimes almost impossible at this stage to tell it's a scam, but there are ways to tell which I'll explain later."
"Forms like a W2, I9 and Direct Deposit forms, stuff you would normally fill out for a legit job but it gives them all of your very personal information such as your SSN.
"This is where the scam becomes obvious, they tell you that you need to purchase the equipment, such as a laptop, printer, software, etc."
"They will tell you that they will cover it and they send you a check."
"Then you're supposed to buy the stuff, usually through sketchy means like wire transfer or gift cards."
"Since the check is fake, once you spend this money the check will inevitably bounce and now you're down the hole by the thousands, your 'employer' now dips out and you're scammed."
"There might be easier ways to tell, but my advice is to always ask how you will be receiving your supplies before filing any paperwork and sending it to them."
"If they refuse to tell you how it will work, or they tell you anything involving having you purchase the equipment, it's a scam and you can just dip out, or mess with them if you have the time to do so :)."
"I nearly fell for one of these scams a few months ago."
"I never sent them the money because it was obvious, but at that stage I already sent them my SSN and other information."
"I had to freeze all of my credit, which there are guides on how to do so that are easily found."
"If you get caught in a scam like this, I would recommend getting a new bank account(s), freezing all your credit, filing a fraud report for your credit."
"This will prevent any scammers from opening any loans or credit lines in your name."
"File a report for a stolen SSN and contact the FTC and file a report with them as well with as much detail as you can."- team-tree-syndicate
GiphyScams have come a long way from snake oils and miracle cures.
And sadly, technology has made it even easier for scammers to access our personal and financial information.
With this in mind, should you ever receive a text message or an email which seems unusual, or delivering good news which seems too good to be true, always err on the side of caution.
"A colleague of mine dialed into a meeting of 2-3 managers plus about 25 sales reps only for everyone to suddenly go quiet and for one person to tell him the meeting was cancelled and he could drop as they, the sales reps, were just chatting sales stuff."
"He pretended to hang up and stayed on the line."
"They were basically planning a mutiny because they didn't like that their regional manager was a woman."
"They had a whole strategy for how they were going to cause a massive f*ck up that would cost the company a ton of money and look like it was her fault so she would get fired."
"The dumbwads even did a little 'are we all in agreement' roll call at the end."
"We worked in a call center so his end of the call was recorded."
"Within a week every last one of them was fired and within a month they were replaced."- InternetWeakGuy.
Season 6 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphyWalls are not always soundproof.
"I was looking for a place to rent."
"Met the property manager and she walked me to the unit."
"It wasn't the best neighborhood and my mind was already made up as I was walking around the property with her that I wasn't going to go through with it."
"But the lady was very nice and friendly and I figured I'd at least take a look inside the unit."
"It was small and dingy."
"I looked around and told her nicely that I'd think about it and then walked out."
"After the door closed, I could hear her screaming: 'No, you f*cking won't!'"
""F*ck!'"
" Oh, I'll think about it and let you know.'"
"'Ah! F*ck!!"'
"Certainly glad I did not rent."- SweetDee72.
Overheard at the office.
"I once worked as a secretary in an office that, for some reason, got butt-dialed a lot."
"During one such occasion I got to listen in while some gentleman from New York absolutely roasted one of his employees."
"'Well what the f*ck do you expect me to do?'"
"'Honestly, Tom, honestly, if it wasn't for the fact that I'm sleeping your sister, you would be out of here right now'."- BabySuperfreak.
"Here, kitty, kitty..."
"I left a client a voicemail and thought I hung up but in fact I proceeded to talk baby talk to my roommates cat for several minutes while it was recording."- Incontinento
"Another season, another reason..."
"I used to work at a call center that took orders for a lot of different things."
"I took a call from an old lady one day."
"She told me she was 89 and her husband was 92."
"She ordered a generic brand of 'the little blue pills'."
"As she was hanging up I heard:"
"Little old man: Did ya get'm?"
"Little old lady: I sure did."
"Little old man: HOT DAMN I'm gonna get some now!"
"Little old lady: *giggles*"- Shenaniganic.
You'll do this, or else...
"My mother-in-law [MIL] had a new boss who hated her."
"She was about three years from retirement, and she felt like he was trying to push her out early so she’d loose part of her pension etc."
"She asked me to check her answering machine while she was gone after her mother died and let her know if anything important came in, and to water her plants."
"The third day or so I’d been there, there was a message from this boss giving his condolences."
"Then you could hear the click where he thought he’d hung up but must have placed the receiver just wrong and was still on the line."
"He ruthlessly made fun of her with his wife for the next five minutes before saying 'Oh, sh*t!' and hanging up."
"She was at a really low point in her life, and I didn’t have the heart to tell her or leave the message on the machine."
"It would have absolutely crushed her."
"But I did record it, and then I deleted it from her machine."
"Then I called that a**hole and told him what I had, why I wasn’t telling her RIGHT NOW, but absolutely would if needed in the future, and told him I’d better hear nothing but how wonderful work was going for her and how well she was treated until she retired."
"I told him I didn’t even understand what a piece of sh*t you had to be to talk about someone like that behind their back, and especially at such a time in their life."
"And that’s exactly what happened."
"She had a wonderful last few years and figured that her mother dying had opened him up to treat her kindly and with respect."
"That was twenty years ago and I never told her and never will."
"I wouldn’t want to ever take those last few years there away from her."- skbiglia.
"You talkin' to me?"
"Not a crazy story but I had just finished talking to a client over the phone, we say our goodbyes, then I hear her ask 'are you wearing pants today?'"
"I wasn't sure how to answer that but I figure she was jokingly asking because everyone just started working from home due to covid."
"I just replied 'Yes'."
"She then burst out laughing trying to explaining that she thought she had already hung up and she was actually asking her husband that question."
"We laughed about it for about 3 mins before we actually hung up."- lexisauce.
A dissatisfied customer.
"I worked in sales, inbound call, and had a pleasant conversation with a customer who politely declined the offer and told me she was going to look elsewhere."
"We said our goodbyes, nothing out of the ordinary."
"Really sweet lady, had called in with her husband."
"As soon as she thought she hung up, she slammed her phone down and starts yelling at her husband."
"'F*ck [company name], are you f*cking shitting me right now?'"
"'$350 a f*cking year?'"
"'I’m not paying that much for this g*ddamn piece of sh*t [product] how the f*ck could that b*tch pitch that with a straight f*cking face?'”
"I gave her the decency of hanging up myself after that but she was 100% in the right being pissed haha."
" Inbound means she called us to update, not the other way around for those confused."
"I said she was justified because the company sucks."
"It was exactly what she called in for, just with a price increase she wasn’t expecting."- sh*ttysoprano.
Caught Red-handed.
"I called a service provider who was supposed to order certificates of good standing from a state and they were late in sending them over."
"They told me there was a delay at the state’s office and gave me a new estimate."
"They forgot to hang up, and I heard them telling their coworker that they’d completely forgot to send in the time sensitive request in the first place."
"Never used them again."- a_little_wicked
"I had a job where I was in a position to write-off a substantial phone bill, which the customer said was because her mother was dying overseas and she had dementia and needed to hear things in her voice to believe anything, including doctor’s instructions."
"She was heartbroken and sobbing about how if she had the kind of money to pay this phone bill, she would have just gone back to her country because the flight would have cost less."
"She was right about that."
"I wrote-off the entirety of the phone bill, she cried like a jilted lover in a rom-com and said people like me are angels from god etc."
"After I wished her a good evening and she thought the call was ended, she says to someone in a perfectly normal voice ‘Well, that worked!’"- aardvarkyardwork.
Michael Buble Gotcha GIF by bublyGiphyBut seriously, who says no to free wine?
"I was a wine club manager."
"I got an incredibly irate call from a man whose daughter had signed him up for a wine club, demanding we cancel it because it was a waste of her money."
"It caught me off guard as he somehow got my work cell, not the main club line, and I was out on a work errand."
"I only answered it because I thought it was my boss."
"So I’m holding 2 heavy packages, with the phone on my shoulder, while he’s screaming at me about how he can’t believe we let his daughter, a 30-something-year-old woman, spend this money etc."
"He was having a full-on tantrum."
"She signed an agreement to receive a shipment from us."
"I explained to him that it was her account."
"SHE would have to talk about me about making any changes, and noted she could send the wine elsewhere if he didn’t want to be the recipient."
"I was calm."
"He asked how long I’d been at the company."
"I told him about a year."
"He ended the conversation, but my hands were still full and he didn’t hang up."
"He then proceeded to brag to whoever was in the room that the 'girl' he’d been on the phone with had only been at the company about 6 months and lied that he had me in tears."
"Daughter did not want to cancel, sent the wines to her sister, and told me he was ex-military and an opinionated guy."
"Nice way of saying misogynistic a**hole I guess."- doodleywootson
Happy Hour Reaction GIFGiphyUm.. I can hear you...
"Not hanging up, but my friend, several years older was asking my to cut vinyl names for jar candles for a friend."
"I was asking about the size she needed."
"She just kept saying 'the bath and body works candles'."
"I'm not sure what size they are."
"She then asks her friend about said candles."
"Friend's friend repeats 'oh they are the bath and body works candles'."
"They keep saying this like I'm supposed to magically know what size these jars are."
"You know how you move the phone to the side to talk with someone?"
"I get the impression this happens."
"My friend goes 'It's my friend [Used_Dragon fruit], she can't afford those, she won't know'."
"I tell her, that I actually I stopped using bath and body works products over 10 years ago because they give me migraines."
"We've barely spoken since."- Used_Dragonfruit_563
So glad to know you're there for me...
"I called one of my relatives and spoke to them about a certain issue that I was experiencing and 'after' the call they said 'Jesus Christ I don't have time for this'."- SeanConneryIsMaclean
GiphyAlways wise to double check...
"It was more so muting/not muting and I was the person who forgot to do so in this case."
"So we were in a breakout room in one of my online classes last year, about 5 people including me."
"I remember being annoyed/stressed either with the group or the class or just school in general so I 'muted' myself and screamed."
"Not ear defeaning but definitely quite loudly."
"IDEK if i can imitate that yell now."
"Everyone in the breakout room was like wwhooo wassss thaattt?'"
"And I pretended that it wasn't me and I think it worked."
"But even if it didn't, no one accused me lol."
But is there more to the story?
"Very late to the party here, but I got a really weird butt dial about five days after the January 6th Insurrection."
"I have no idea who the person was, it didn't pop up on Caller ID, and the call had an area code that I didn't recognize."
"It was a five-minute 'message' in which I could hear several people talking at once, both men and women, and they were arguing about blowing up a bookstore in Portland, Oregon."
"They also spoke about 'hanging' some book author that they all disagreed with, and they mentioned the Proud Boys and other seditious things as well."
"The voices were sometimes muffled and they were hard to make out at times, but the conversion alarmed me enough that I called my local FBI office."
"I quickly received a call back from an FBI Agent, who asked me a bunch of questions about the call, the caller, etc."
"He then asked if I could send him a copy of the recording of the call, which I did."
"He called back the next day."
"It turns out that the call originated in Northern California, I forget where exactly, and he asked more pointed questions, and specifically asked if I knew anyone in Cali (no, I don't)."
"He then told me that the voices that I heard appeared to have come from a pod cast."
"Somehow the caller/listener had dialed my phone number and I received a full five minutes of the pod cast to which they were listening."
"The next day, a black SUV pulled into my driveway, and two FBI Agents came to my door."
"One was the Agent with whom I had been speaking."
"He wanted to see my phone, specifically the message itself."
"I had nothing to hide, so I let him dig around in my phone for a few minutes."
"They were really nice and we talked crap for a while, and then they left."
"Of course, I was told that the conversation I heard was part of a pod cast, but now I can't help but wonder."
"If it was such an innocuous conversation/pod cast, then why would two FBI Agents show up unannounced at my house just to look at my phone?"
"I don't know why, but I still have that Agent's number in my Contacts."
"How many people can say that they have the back line of an FBI Agent saved on their phone?"- Ghost_of_a_Black_Cat
fbi fbifam GIF by CBSGiphyNever underestimate the importance of that little click or your phone returning to its home screen.
Neglecting to take note of those simple little things could land you in more trouble than you could possibly imagine.
I try to talk to my mom frequently. But it's never enough for her. But that's ok. I still have her.
Awkward Joel Mchale GIF by NETFLIXUnrecognizable...
"She has dementia and has forgotten how to use the phone. Unless an aide is in the room when I call, the phone will just ring and drive her crazy. I visit her in person instead even though sometimes she doesn't know who I am."
Alpacazappa
"The last thing my grandmother said to me before I became totally unrecognizable to her was, 'you’re awfully big to be so little.' Even though I was 22 at the time she remembered me as a little girl."
MeasuredByChopsticks
Never Again
"Last time I saw her she yelled at me to go live with my dad and when I actually started packing my things and leaving she yelled 'you don’t want to take care of your own mother' and proceeded to beat me and call the cops saying I’m the one who hit her even though I had cuts, marks, and bruises all over my face and neck."
"She never got in trouble and she did all this in front of my 3 year old sister. She also told me I would be dead if I ever came back. We haven’t spoke since and I don’t plan to ever speak to her again."
99_problems_bbt
Uninterested
"She doesn't take any interest in my life. She will call me to complain about my siblings and ask nothing about me."
sagicorn2791
"I'm similar, she calls to gripe about all her problems for an hour then goes so what's new with you, but at that point in emotionally drained and I have nothing to say. She doesn't really absorb anything I talk about either so it's a bit wasted?"
vansnagglepuss
Die Phone
Phone Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphy"We both really hate talking on the phone! We stay in touch vie text etc and I'll go see her, and my dad, in a couple of weeks when I've got some time off work."
Alpaca_Tasty_Picnic
I feel like a lot of moms are waiting by a phone. And we're hanging up.
Bye
Sad Rabbit GIF by Muffin & NutsGiphy"She's a helicopter parent despite not being around when I was a child and leaving me to be raised by my sister."
Special-Latina
same old...
"The last time I spoke with her I got. To update her on what I'm doing for work (yet another crappy entry level job instead of a career she can be proud of). Criticism over a hobby that I picked up and a "'It has to at least make money' warning. Criticism over me and my family still being in the 'same old tiny apartment.'"
"Thanks mom. This is why it's difficult for me to relate to people who had a strong, healthy connection to their parents."
Vidableek
Over It
"I don't want to. If I wanted to backtrack on years of work on my own mental health, maybe I'd pick up the phone. But it turns out that when you're abusive, manipulative, and generally sh*tty to someone for 25 years, maybe they don't want to talk to you anymore."
a**hat123
She never has...
"Phones work 2 ways. I call a few times a year. She never has. I have asked her to come visit. She does not ask me to come up. I have visited her. She has never visited me. Relationships require both to put effort in. After years of only me putting in time and effort I have learned that I am not that important to her."
dogfishshrk
Empty Person
"She is a soulless human being, addled with terrible personality traits, and is addicted not only to specific drugs, but to being not sober. She is a kleptomaniac and will steal from people who are charitable to her. She’s an uncaring mother and an awful person."
"My sister texted me this morning to say she’s been missing for two weeks, and I’m not concerned, because that is completely normal for her. She’s been addicted to hard drugs for at least 20 years now, I don’t see how she’s still alive, and I wish she wasn’t, she’s draining my entire family of love and resources."
michaelthagray
LOLOL
Mothers Day Mom GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphy"Nice try, mom."
omgzzwtf
"This literally made me laugh so hard, deserves top comment."
knighttmair
Good Moms
"My mom is a narcissist. It was ok for her to take long weekend trips for days leaving a 5 year old with a 13 year old, however I'm a bad mom for going out on my anniversary and leaving my child with a adult neighbor who I paid for 3 hours... because 'You're a mom now, you aren't allowed to go out.'"
"Helicopter as in going to the school and starting trouble to pretend like she cared over really petty crap. Over dress you for the weather to be seen as a good mom. Dress you up like a doll so no one would even question that she was abusive because in her head if the image is good and she's hovering around, the kid won't be believed."
ChineseChaiTea
her own words...
"Last time she was in front of me she told me that I am weird because I was born a few days after Tchernobyl and the radiations must have done something to my head (her own words). Mind you, she says I am weird because I am not emotional, I prefer remaining calm and not succumb to stress."
"Because I have some depression, social anxiety and some undiagnosed social difficulties, I'm an overthinker/overanalyzer. It surely has nothing to do with my father being an alcoholic and extremely violent to her and his children. Nothing at all."
"So, I will not call her because I know that talking about it will not help with anything. I just act busy since this month began. I'll have to call her one day. I'm not even upset. I just don't want to talk to her and throw away all those years of therapy. Fortunately, we live in different towns."
Zestyclose-Ad-5439
Not Ready
Sorry Lebron James GIF by UninterruptedGiphy"She was extremely neglectful to me when I was kid and now that I'm an adult she tries to guilt trip me into seeing her and calling her. She wanted nothing to do with me as a kid/teenager and now she wants a relationship. Sorry, but I'm not ready yet."
The_truth_may_hurt
The Lineup...
"Went to her for the first time about being severely depressed and suicidal for the past ~10 years of my life. She made it completely about herself. I was crying in fetal position as a 25 year old man on her bedroom floor. She asked me something, but I was in an almost frozen state and couldn't think of speak."
"She got pissed off at me and started berating me for not answering when I was the one who went to her. Somehow I've kept her in my life. No I don't call first, but do not avoid contact. I'm not sure if that's a healthy move. My excuse is having a huge lineup of past events that show me just how selfish she is despite her words contradicting her actions."
PM_UR_BUTTHOL3
Victims
"She’s always the victim. She leads such a boring life that all she has to talk about is unimportant crap in the lives of others. She suffers from PTSD, and gets SSI, so she’s always broke. She can’t handle the slightest criticism."
clever80username
I tried that...
"Every phone call is three hours long and I do not ever have that much time to myself, let alone for another human. And no, the length of the phone call doesn’t decrease if I call more frequently, I tried that. Texting with her was great but she hated her smart phone so went back to a clam shell that makes it hard for her to text."
sebthelodge
Facades
"She's manipulative and controlling. I wish she was just like any other mom. We would've been a great team (dad's never around). I just want someone in my family to know me for me. But apparently that's not the case. So I shall keep up the facade."
livingonramen27
"Cut her off. We may not be able to choose our family but we can choose our friends. I surround myself with 'big brothers, adopted moms, loving fathers, encouraging sisters.' To me they are the family that I should have had and everyone deserves. The 'real' family was never that real."
Phrogme1
Last Straws
"She's an alcoholic and relapsed about a year or two ago and despite us getting her in a position to get proper help several times, she chose booze + moving in with random dudes over and over again. The last straw was her getting blackout drunk and passing out on a public sidewalk and then getting picked up by the cops."
"My sister took her to the ER after that and then uninvited her from her wedding and we all blocked her telling her to call us when she's sober. Hasn't called us, but did text me happy birthday ten days after my birthday. Last I heard she's working in a liquor store."
cranialgrainofsalt
For the Best
Out Of Office Summer GIF by Merge MansionGiphy"I just got off the phone with her & my Dad about 5 minutes ago, so I figure they deserve a break."
justduett
Not enough time for sanity...
"Because I can't afford extra sessions with my therapist, and my mom won't consent to mediated conversations with my therapist because she thinks mental health professionals are in league with Satan. My mom has 4 children. 2 of us cut her out of our lives entirely. One of us decided to see what happened if he stopped calling her, and now they haven't spoken in 3 years."
"My half brother that she abandoned as a child still talks to her occasionally because she's somehow less awful than his father, and he's desperate to have a parent in some fashion, but their relationship is entirely superficial. Untreated mental illness can be pretty awful."
paladiumsteve
Not all relationships, including blood, are meant to be. But if you can and if it's healthy... call your mom.
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