Top Stories

People With Cancer Reveal When They First Realized Something Was Wrong

People With Cancer Reveal When They First Realized Something Was Wrong

People With Cancer Reveal When They First Realized Something Was Wrong

[rebelmouse-image 18358263 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Cancer can present itself in a variety of ways, and sometimes, it presents no symptoms at all. The moral of the story? Don't ignore abnormalities in your body, and never try to "tough it out."

HippoLips asked, People who have/had cancer, how did you know something was wrong?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.

As someone who has suffered from ulcerative colitis, this is too real.

[rebelmouse-image 18358265 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

My doctor had me get a colonoscopy because of blood in my stool. He thought it might be an ulcer caused by some medication; turned out to be a tumor. Turned out to be a very large stage 1 instead of the stage 2-3 they originally thought. I lucked out big time. I was under fifty, hardly a typical age for it to happen.

Catching it early is the key.

[rebelmouse-image 18358266 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I went for a general checkup because I was concerned about some red spots on my arms. The doctor almost didn't believe anything was wrong until the results from the blood work came back. The spots were petechiae from low platelets and my white blood cells were through the roof. I have leukemia. Actually, I'm in remission now.

Never ignore lumps or chronic fatigue. They are sign something is very, very wrong.

[rebelmouse-image 18358267 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I was super tired all the time, like sleep 18 hours a day and hardly able to keep my eyes open the other 6. Then I noticed a lump on the side of my neck. Turned out to be Hodgkin's lymphoma, I have my 2nd chemo on Wednesday.

Well this is terrifying.

[rebelmouse-image 18352402 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I had a headache that didn't go away for an entire week, I kept vomiting, and I was having weird episodes, which were later diagnosed as seizures. It was a brain tumor.

Sarcoma consists of cancerous growths in connective tissue.

[rebelmouse-image 18358268 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

My daughter at 12 was complaining that her knee was sore. We chalked it up to growing pains. Then one evening she stood up from her chair and fell, again complaining that her knee was very sore. She had a tumor on her left femur - osteogenic sarcoma. Eight months of chemo followed, along with knee replacement surgery. She's been cancer free for nearly 16 years now.

Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma is the more common type of lymphoma, and has a relatively high survival rate.

[rebelmouse-image 18358269 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I'd been feeling run down and kind of tired, but I put that off to having family in town staying with me. After they'd left I didn't recover quite as quickly as I normally would, thought I was catching a cold. I met up with my typical Sunday night dinner group and while I was sitting in the restaurant I started getting chills. So I went to my car, grabbed a sweatshirt and sat in the sun. It was probably 80 degrees and I was shivering, teeth chattering and chilled to the bone. I went home and bundled up and fell asleep on my couch. When I woke up I was burning up, temperature 104.3. Not good.

Called my bff (she's an ER nurse) and she put me in touch with one of her docs. He wrote me a prescription for an antiviral. I started taking it and it didn't help. I was getting weaker and weaker, barely had an appetite and coughing so bad my bladder would leak.

After a week I went to urgent care. They put me on an antibiotic and diagnosed me with a lung infection. The antibiotics didn't help. After a week of cold sweats, no appetite, weakness and a fever that wouldn't go away I went to the ER. They admitted me and kept me in the hospital to try and diagnose my illness. After 8 days and numerous tests they had my fever under control but not the reason for my sickness. I was home when the hematologist called me and told me I have Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, and it's in my bone marrow.

I just had my second round of chemo last week. Things went pretty well and I didn't get too sick afterward. Today I shaved my head because my hair was falling out fast and in handfuls. I have a good prognosis and the cancer I have is very treatable. I hope those of you out there who are dealing with cancer are doing okay, hugs to you all.???????

Cancer is often misdiagnosed or overlooked in children.

[rebelmouse-image 18358270 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I started my first period when I was 12 and it didn't stop for three months but my doctor just continued to say it was because it was my first period. Then I suddenly looked like I was six months pregnant but they still kept saying I was fine. It's only when my mum shouted at them that they sent me for more tests and discovered my stomach was swollen because it was releasing fluid to protect itself from something abnormal. That turned out to be a tumor in my left ovary, which was the size of a grapefruit. They caught it just in time before it spread and I had six months of intensive chemotherapy after surgery. I've just celebrated my 10 year anniversary of being in remission which is awesome! I still keep an eye on my periods though xD

Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia occurs when bone marrow produces too many immature lymphocytes, a type of white blood cell.

[rebelmouse-image 18358271 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

It took me a really long time before I thought anything was wrong. Over the course of 6 weeks, I went from being able to run a 7-minute mile to having to sit down on a bench to rest halfway through walking home from school (less than a mile). I asked the running subreddit, and they said it was probably just a lung infection or something else treatable with antibiotics. Red spots (petechiae) popped up on my upper arms and calves. At 130 pounds, I felt like I was carrying an extra two hundred pounds with me when I tried to climb stairs. When I finally convinced myself to go to the doctor, they drew some blood, saw the white blood cell count and instantly referred me to a hospital when they saw the enormous white blood cell count. At this point I still wasn't concerned, thinking it would all turn out to be something else, that it couldn't, wouldn't, shouldn't be cancer. When I got admitted to the hospital, I was thinking how I would be out of there by morning. It didn't really hit me until I had been there for almost a week and knew the exact type (Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia) before I actually even started to worry.

Doctors estimate that 3 percent of all cancers are a result of Lynch Syndrome.

[rebelmouse-image 18358272 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I had colon cancer at age 25. I really started to notice how long it would take to clean up when I was at work. I had the feeling of an elephant sitting on my chest. It usually takes me an hour to clean up and go home but my oxygen levels were so depleted I could only tolerate 5 minutes of exertion before I had to rest. I held off for a month with going to the doctor because I didn't have any insurance at the time. My blood counts were all jacked up, red/white blood cells and iron counts were so bad to this day they have no idea how I was walking/talking and not in a coma. I also lost a ton of weight, I usually hover around 285 and was down almost 100 pounds., but I didn't really think anything of it since I lost the weight over a couple months and was exercising, dieting, and working a second physical labor job so I just figured in 3 months I had lost some weight. I didn't realize how drastic the weight loss was until I was at the hospital. I started the second job in August and never went into the hospital until January. I didn't have any major complications until December and had to wait until January for my insurance to kick in.

Luckily for me, a colonoscopy revealed the issue and the caught it before it spread to my lymph nodes.

25 is really young for colon cancer, and I was youngest in my doctor's career to be diagnosed with it. Turns out I have Lynch Syndrome which genetically predisposes me to develop cancers at a younger age and puts me at a higher risk of getting another cancer.

I turn 30 next Monday and thankfully have not had any recurring issues for this.

When body dysmorphia works in your favor...

[rebelmouse-image 18358273 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Fortunately, my teenage insecurities probably saved my life- I was in a store trying on a swimsuit and was basically staring at myself in the mirror thinking how awful I thought I looked (not uncommon for 16-year-old girls, unfortunately) and I noticed a few very, very dark spots on my back and arms. It looked like I had sharpied on dots in some places, it was really weird but I think it was because of the awful fluorescent lighting that they looked so pronounced. I knew my family had a history of very serious skin cancer, but I'd never been tanning and always wore sunblock so I thought there was no way. My dad made me go in for a skin check just to be safe, and it turns out I had multiple malignant melanomas of varying stages on my arm and both upper and lower back. Luckily even the worst of them were caught early enough that I was just left with some badass scars from the biopsies and subsequent tissue removal, but I still think if I hadn't gone to H&M that day how much worse it could have been.

Talk about a lucky break...

[rebelmouse-image 18358274 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I was walking the dogs and I suddenly felt a sharp pain on the left side in between my ribs and simultaneously on my left shoulder. After almost a month of misdiagnoses, I went from healthy 16 ?????-?year-old to stage 4 histiocytic sarcoma, a rare form of lymphoma and given 2 months to live. I am now 20 years old and in remission.

"Toughing it out" is the worst decision one can make.

[rebelmouse-image 18358275 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

In the early stage (1-3 months prior) I started to become more and more lethargic & weak in general; at the time I thought I was just lazy and falling out of shape. I lost the energy to do most basic things but never thought it was totally out of the norm. Food also became uninteresting and I generally lost my appetite (normally I'm a big eater/foodie.) As a side sleeper, I noticed my arm would fall asleep during the night semi-frequently (I'd wake up and couldn't feel it at all, it freaked me out at the time.) I also started having some pretty decent night sweats (while feeling freezing cold) and picked up a persistent toothache that didn't go away.

The final straw was when I went to the dentist to get my wisdom teeth removed due to that toothache. After the surgery, my body basically crashed (couldn't heal itself.) I started to get weaker much more rapidly, my skin got very pale, and my lips basically lost most of their color. 2 days later, I fully passed out for the first time in my life.

Now this will seem crazy, but I'm the type of person who never goes to the doctor for anything, I always just "tough it out." Even after all this stuff happened, I still didn't go in to get checked. But finally after 2-3 weeks of this and basically "rapidly dying," my wife begged me to go in to find out what was going on. They took my blood for some tests and within an hour the doc called saying my counts were insanely low and told me to go to the E.R. immediately (I even questioned the doctor over the phone "are you sure this is necessary?")

Found out if I didn't come in that day, I would have probably died within a few days. That night in the E.R. is when shit hit the fan; My pores were literally leaking blood as I had no platelets (blood cells that help clot your blood) and needed about 6 blood transfusions. So at 28 y/o, that's when I got the bomb dropped on me that I had Leukemia.

And thus began my interesting, humbling, and life-changing road to recovery.

Cancer can be tricky, especially when there are no inflammatory markers, which generally indicate the body is fighting something.

[rebelmouse-image 18358276 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

My stage 3b colon cancer was detected in 2008 during a colonoscopy. The tumor was in a polyp that was large enough to have existed for 10 years. It was my first colonoscopy at age 62. Before that, my doctor had specified fecal smears, which showed no problems. My regular blood tests had not shown any problems. I think they monitor for excess protein in the blood. I had 30 cm (11") of upper colon removed and underwent chemo for 6 months. I was in the hospital for about 5 days and outpatient during the chemo treatment. I lost a little of my hair; my hair is thick and I attribute that to my few native American genes. I have some loss of feeling in my fingers and feet from the chemo and my sleep clock if a bit off. I am a veteran so the VA paid for everything. My case was unique because I was symptom-free including having no protein markers in my blood. Because of this, my tissue sample was kept, with my permission, and my case was included in a study on non-inflammatory cancer. I have been cancer free for 7 years.

Carcinoid tumors grow very slowly, and most often originate in the digestive tract or lungs.

[rebelmouse-image 18358277 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Kept getting pneumonia, like very frequently 2-3 times a year for about 3 years. Had many chest X-rays and CT scans that turned up nothing. Eventually, I had camera scope my lungs and found out I had a tumor blocking the bronchial tube to my upper left lobe. It caused bacteria to continually give me pneumonia because that portion of my lung was more or less partially collapsed and essentially doing nothing. Turns out it was a carcinoid tumor which I guess isn't technically cancer but its classified as it. Had a little more than half of my lung removed and my lymph nodes and now I feel great.

Never ever ever ignore gut issues.

[rebelmouse-image 18358278 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I've had issues with my stomach and acid reflux for as long as I can remember. For 2 and a half years every month or so, I would get an excruciating stomach ache that felt like my entire abdomen was on fire followed by a day of feeling like I had gotten punched several times in the stomach or had done hundreds of sit-ups. A couple doctors would run tests, but never found much of anything. I've been scoped from both ends more times than I'd care to count. Finally, during a cat scan, or whatever it's called where they send you through the donut, they found my appendix was swollen. They rushed me over to surgery and took it out. It exploded after they had gotten it out, and the surgeon decided it didn't look right. So they did some labs and called me back in for a follow up before I had healed. They found that I had appendiceal carcinoma (sp?) and they had taken some images of "goo" that was strewn throughout my abdomen. What I was led to understand the was that was an early sign of it spreading, and due to what they had found in my appendix, I had to have another surgery. Unfortunately, they had to slice me open from my belly button down, before taking my secum (sp?) and six inches of my large intestine. They also took out most of my inwards and scrubbed the goo off. Took me a long time to recover, and left me with a bought of body dysmorphia that led to depression and unfortunately weight gain.

You're never too young to get cancer.

[rebelmouse-image 18358279 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I'm 27, found a lump in my boob and went to my GP and a month later was having a mastectomy. I'm currently having chemo and on cycle 2/6.

So ladies, check them boobies cos age means nothing!

If it looks like a bite but doesn't go away...

[rebelmouse-image 18358280 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Found a small red bite/spot on my back, felt itchy. Took a picture and kept an eye on it for a few weeks, it changed shape, and sort of collapsed into itself; turns out I had skin cancer, had it removed and have a check-up every 5 years.

Pancreatic cancer is one of the more difficult cancers to diagnose and treat. It killed Apple founder Steve Jobs in 2011.

[rebelmouse-image 18358281 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

My dad got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer three days ago. He has been feeling bad the last year, worse the last 6 months. He has been seeing a doctor from the start. Apparently, it's a bitch to notice.

What he has been suffering from is loose stool, dramatic weight loss (from 80kg to 55kg in a year) muscle loss, difficulties to walk due to muscle loss and pain in his neck.

Other symptoms of pancreatic cancer can be yellow skin, yellow eyes.

Just a warning to people who might experience these kinds of things, get it checked before it's too late... :(

Cancer often presents no symptoms, so pay attention to ANY abnormalities. This guy got lucky.

[rebelmouse-image 18358282 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I didn't and that's the scary thing!

I was a fit and healthy 28-year-old guy, went to the gym three times a week, played and trained for football twice a week all whilst eating relatively healthy. Cancer wasn't really on my radar.

Fortunately one day in the shower I felt a slight lump but truthfully didn't think it was cancer. I google diagnosed a harness epidydmal cyst but thought I'd better get it checked out. I waited a while for an appointment and eventually got it checked out. Dr agreed with my diagnosis but offered me an ultrasound scan for peace of mind, I agreed

A few months later my scan comes around, there's me sitting there fully expecting the all clear ( I was still a healthy young and active guy still with no other worrying symptoms) then Wham! Sorry Mr. Tallyblade but you have testicular cancer, was not expecting that!

By chance, I'd caught it early which made the treatment a whole lot easier. Thankfully I've been all clear for three years and I'm now expecting the arrival of Tallyblade Jnr

Guys, check yourself before you wreck yo self

You can always rely on Mom to hold you accountable.

[rebelmouse-image 18358283 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Not me, my stepbrother, he's 20 now but 19 at the time:

Was walking funny, kept having to hold on to things, was really out of breath walking from one side of the room to another. Acting generally dozy, eyesight had deteriorated quickly over a few months.

He also had the shakes - now this is the key symptom, as my stepmom has a neurological disorder triggered by too many anti-depressants, which has caused her to shake. She was panicking that she'd passed something on to him and forced him to go to the doctors. He wouldn't have gone otherwise, as he's been mothered to the point of being essentially 10 years old, he has absolutely no self-awareness.

CAT scan one day, 24 hours later called straight back into the hospital, had so much fluid in his brain that they needed to insert a stent that day. Found a brain tumor that had been causing it at the top of his spine. He went through two rounds of chemo and one of radiotherapy, wasn't sick, the only ill effects were losing his hair and feeling tired all the time. Now in remission, has almost been cancer-free for a year. The whole treatment lasted maybe 5 months? Good work on the doctors!

Old Wives' Tales People Still Believe For Some Reason

"Reddit user the_spring_goddess asked: 'What is an old wives tale that people still believe?'"

Close up of an owl tilting their head to side, looking bewildered
Photo by Josh Mills

The old wives' tales.

They are the stories of legend.

I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.

Where did they originate?

WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!

You don't hear about them as much anymore.

It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.

But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.

Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:

"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"

"Wait an hour to swim after eating."

What a crock!

So many summer hours wasted.

I want revenge for that one.

Say Nothing

Giphy

"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."

LonelyMail5115

"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."

I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA

Say Something

"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."

Severe_Airport1426

"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."

crappycurtains

"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."

AlbinoShavedGorilla

Body Temps

"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."

chriseo22

"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."

"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."

apocalypticradish

Arms Down

"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."

Fatmouse84

10 Years Actually

Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy

"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."

REDDIT

"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."

Gecko-911

I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.

This tale is haunting.

High/Low

Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace Giphy

"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."

LeastFormal9366

"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."

IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI

The Cursed

"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."

"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."

SmoreOfBabylon

Stay In

"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."

"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."

worldbound0514

Dreams and Facts

"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."

"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."

mattshonestreddit

"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."

Darthdemented

Cracked

Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office Giphy

"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."

Choice-Grapefruit-44

"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."

MacyTmcterry

I love my knuckles.

Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

However not everyone feels that way about their job.

So what are these compelling careers?

Keep reading... Show less
Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?