Beware of every single flash bulb pointed in your direction. And think not twice, but five times before you post anything of yourself on the internet, especially if it's in a certain "delicate or salacious" nature. This isn't the twentieth century anymore, when you could just burn a poorly thought out polaroid. And of course there seems to be an uptick in everyone just freely exposing themselves to the world... for free. The internet means it all lives forever. Be ready.
Redditor u/BrixtonsFinest2 wanted to hear from everyone out there who has been witness to seeing their online and private lives collide by asking... People who post NSFW content: Has anyone from your real life ever found out? What happened?I get antsy when people post shots of me in unflattering lighting. I can't image how my anxiety would skyrocket if I discovered that a lover had posted us. I'd change my identity. So that is why I find people, who are not sex workers and pornstars, who just litter the web with their bodies, doing all sorts of mess so freely so interesting. Like... good for you, but... are you sure?
***The following is definitely for the above 17 crowd.***
Whateves...
shania twain whatever GIF
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I once accidentally sent to a friend with the same name as an ex. After explaining the mistake he asked if he could have more. I ended up sending a few more. It weirdly never became sexual between us. He was just like thank you and we moved on lol.
Mark of the Beast
A customer got pissed off at me and posted my video to a bunch of porn sites once. A friend who knew what I did found the video and let me know so that I could get it taken down. Interestingly, I've never had sex with this friend before, but I've taken my clothes off around him enough that he was able to recognize a birthmark that I have even though I wasn't showing my face. Another funny part of this is that before telling me that he'd found my video, he spent a minute explaining why he had searched stuff that led him to finding the video (the video was kinda kinky and taboo).
OMG!
One of the lawyers at my previous job sent me something by mistake. It was only a 'lewd', what she was wearing was lace and you can kind of see through it but nothing too revealing.
I sent her a text back saying "Uh, don't be embarrassed, but I don't think you meant to send this to me." She replied back "OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY!!!" Told her not to worry about it. Then she texted "do you at least think my boyfriend will like it?" with a bunch of cry-laughing emoji's. I replied "He'd be pretty dumb if he didn't!" Then I deleted the convo. We never mentioned it again afterwards.
FB Issues
I used to have an alternate Facebook account and was in private groups with "T&A" posts. (Tits and A**)
I used to post a lot of pictures on there (super insecure and lonely part of my life where validation from internet strangers was everything) and some guy found my real account and found my dads account. He sent them all to him. But unbeknownst to him, I was the one who set up my dad's Facebook account so I just logged into it and deleted the messages before he saw them.
The Ponies
Well, since I don't plan to run for office I guess I can finally tell this story.
More than 20 years ago I appeared on a North American cable TV show that was discussing "interesting" sexual behaviours: this episode was about BDSM Pony Play. [ note: if you don't know what Pony Play is then have fun finding out from someone other than me, and no I don't do any BDSM stuff any more I am a much different person now ] :)
I was wearing my Gear, my voice was muffled a bit, totally covered except for my eyes. There was nothing explicit shown on the show, but still it's odd/entertaining to explain Pony Play to regular people. Show finally airs, months and months later, on a Saturday late-night slot.
ONE GUY at work saw that show when it aired.
Guy comes up to me on Monday morning. "So have you ever seen [name of show]"
"No I don't stay up that late."
"It sure looked like you were on that show the other night"
"Couldn't tell you, I don't watch it."
"Pretty sure I saw you on your knees dressed up like a horse."
"The only time you'll see me on my knees is in the Server room trying to fix the Oracle server, bud."
Other than that there was no fall-out, personally or professionally. All in all I'd give it a rating of 6/10 would probably not do again.
I don't know who has more moxie, the people posting or the people who confront the posters. Like, if I found my Christian neighbors engaging in less than Godlike activities while searching for bananas on the web I would be too flabbergasted and embarrassed -for them- to bring it up. Even if I was carrying a grudge against them I'd rather stay quiet. I have enough drama, I don't need to understand theirs.
Let's Swap
So Excited Reaction GIF by Originals
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Several years ago, I described a fairly NSFW situation that took place – appropriately enough – at my job.
Someone who used to work at the same place (and who had been present for the event in question) read my account, recognized the details, and reached out to me, intent on confirming that we knew each other.
We wound up swapping a few messages, then wishing one another well.
It was pretty dull, actually... but we both had a good laugh about the situation.
That Pic
Accidentally sent a penis pic to a good female friend of mine that had the same name of the chick I was dating. She asked what the hell I was doing I told her it was a mistake and asked her to delete it. She said she did.
Fast forward a couple months after her and I broke up and I get a pic of my friend in lingerie. I politely ask her what she is doing and she said sent it by mistake. The next day, same thing. After the third day she tells me she didn't send it to me by mistake. We started dating shortly after that. Found out that she saved that pic I sent instead of deleting it.
The Prude Meltdown
I post on a social platform that is for adults and their various kinks. Funniest thing was when my husband and I were dating and started getting serious, he showed me his profile to explain and let me know a bit more about what he was into. I laughed and showed him my profile. Apparently we had both created profiles about a week or two before we met on a different site in a chatroom. Then there was the time at one of my old jobs where my co-workers found out that my husband and I were on there and one person had a prude meltdown freaking out about how terrible and unnatural it was to do various things.
And how dare we have the audacity to even show those things, and try lecturing us about how our marriage was going to fail since we were obviously just using each other for sex and the only way to save our marriage was to have a monogamous traditional relationship where occasional bjs were as kinky as it got. Besides her though, a majority of our co-workers were also on that site but we just ran in different circles.
We were on a break...
break up GIF
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I briefly posted on r/gonewild, when my now husband and I were broken up for 7 months. A friend of my husband's saw it, but didn't bring it up until a couple of years later. We all had a good laugh about it. I'm not really shy about people seeing me naked.
Let this all be a life lesson. There is nothing wrong with consenting adults engaging is shocking online adventures. And if that is how you roll, then roll on. Just be really, really, reeeeeeeaaaally sure. The internet sleuths today and of the future will always "out" you.
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I'm a smart person. I read, I study, I comprehend. But certain types of math can send me to the funny farm. I tried trigonometry in high school. I needed a therapist after a week. My brain hates math. It is what it is. I give up trying.
Louder!
Meme Reaction GIF by reactionseditorGiphy"I can't comprehend why any company would think I'm more likely to buy their product if they make their commercial 20db louder than all other commercials. Instant boycott."
The Scale
"The sheer size and scale of the universe. Like the fact that you can fit all the planets of the Solar System between the Earth and the Moon. Now realise how far apart all the planets are in the Solar System. This is practically next door compared to the distance between our Sun and the nearest star."
"There are billions of stars in our Milky Way (with the majority having planets of their own). The sheer scale of the vast emptiness involved means that even when our galaxy merges with the Andromeda galaxy in 4.5 billion years' time, there will be very, very few actual collisions between stars."
"Then there is the void between galaxies, and that it takes billions of years for light, at its speed (massless, and the fastest speed possible), to travel between galaxies, speaks of the sheer emptiness and distance in that void. I can't quite fathom it."
The Before...
"What was there before the universe, what was there before that, and that and that and (you get the idea)."
"The problem is we are using English words that have implied meanings that are familiar to humans on everyday experience to describe events that are outside everyday experience."
"Before" implies that time exists on both sides of an event, but that is not true when we are talking about the universe. Like how there are no positive numbers less than 0, there are no times before the beginning of the universe."
In the Words...
"Language, the fact that we all collectively decided separately and divertingly that certain sounds have meanings and that other sound mixed with those can change the meaning."
"Thanks for all of the upvotes and the award :3."
"Adding onto what I said, sounds are just vibrations in the air that out brains interpret into the sensation of hearing. Really we're vibrating the air at each-other and those air vibrations to your brain contain meaning. When you think about it like this language is not too dissimilar to the internet in a way. Makes you realize how crazy and unique of a skill language really is, with-ought it we wouldn't have a civilization."
"Another interesting thing related to this is when people call your name. Even if your in a crowded area with hundreds of people talking around you and you think your tuning them out if you hear your name you immediately notice, Some part of your brain must be constantly listening."
"Here are some other things my mind can't quite grasp:
- Computers, the fact that my phone is performing countless mathematical operations constantly.
- the plank length, if I understand it right it's the smallest distance anything can move, like a pixel of space.
- the human body and animals in general, were a collection of (large number but idk how large) cells all working together in various systems some how sustaining a brain that is able to be conscious, it's a miracle animals work at all let alone what they're capable of.
- why my ankles crack when I walk.
- what the future will be like, the world is changing so fast it's likely the future will be nothing like we think and it's coming." - Flaer15
I'm Empty
Fun Floating GIF by Tomas BrunsdonGiphy"My little brain can't comprehend the vast emptiness of space and the fact it supposedly just stretches on forever and never has an end. Kind of wild when you try imagine it."
Like any other muscle or organ in the body, we have to listen when pain is inflicted. We have to recognize discomfort and deal. Why don't we allow the same respect to our brain? It will tell us when enough is enough.
Simplicity...
Work Working GIFGiphy"How a simple calculator works. I can do math. I'm actually very good at it. How does a little plastic box do it though? Always boggled my mind."
Dammit!
"Dates. I am considered a historian by my family due to my knowledge on most world history, but God dang dates... I could be talking about WWII and say it happened the same date as WWI."
Billions of People
"That all the others persons I talk to or see, have their own thoughts, own inner dialogue and own life. For gaming analogy sometimes I just feel like others are NPC and I just can't comprehend that there are more than 7 billions person just like me."
"Sonder...
The profound feeling of realizing that everyone, including strangers passed in the street, has a life as complex as one's own, which they are constantly living despite one's personal lack of awareness of it."
Now That's Too Much!
"Quantum physics."
"I have a PhD in astronomy and MSc in Physics, and had to take ~2 years worth of quantum mechanics courses. It's one of those things where you can take solace that even with all that education on it all I can say is no one else really understands it either."
And the Dark?
"Light isn't affected by time. So... other things could just exist outside of time? Like, if you were a photon that traveled at light speed for a million years and then hit an alien's third butt, you'd experience it as instantly being a million light years away."
- Delica
"A photon moves at the speed of light through space, but is standing still in time."
"A person at rest moves at the speed of light through time, but is standing still in space. When you accelerate through space, you're simultaneously decelerating through time. That's why observers will see your clock slow down when you begin accelerating at relativistic speeds. It's referred to as time and space dilation. Makes more sense once you realize that."
The Process...
"There are people who don't have an internal dialogue with themselves. So, they never question if they are right or wrong. They never wonder if they are treating someone fairly, or if they are nice or mean."
"They can change their minds with no information, but it doesn't involve the process most of us go through when confronted with an opinion, or new data. It's not common, but it's not entirely rare. When I learned about this, I just couldn't understand how it was even possible."
The End
Season 2 Episode 10 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy"Death, obviously I understand why people die and all that but just thinking what happens afterwards. What's it like for the said person that died, is it just blackness? Is it like they're dreaming??? Reincarnation?? This probably sounds very stupid but I don't care 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️"
There is so much to learn, and even more that we'll never know. And that's ok. When the brain is full, it's full. Seems like just a part of life. The mysteries will sometimes stay illusive.
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I wanted to give up, I was flustered and spent way too much time trying to get a great grade in a class that just wasn't clicking for me. What did I do? I had to take a step back and reflect on what I would tell a friend in the same shoes. I would tell them they don't need to be perfect, that getting a C+ in one class wasn't going to wreck their whole GPA, and for the love of God drink water too won't just coffee.
Self-care and stealing extra sleep, even just an hour nap, can go a long way to refreshing your drive. The takeaway really was just to show me the same love and support I'd been putting out to those around me. You deserve it, too!
Redditor peachyjams asked:
"What are some tips for a burnt out student?"
The Reddit community gave this user some wonderful tips and tricks to help with student burnout.
Go at your own pace.
“Don't pressure yourself into 4 years. It's OK to take it slower. Balance out your schedule with more enjoyable elective credits if you can, or just take less courses in a semester if possible.”
“Obviously things like financial aid, living costs (if not living at home) and others may play a factor in how many courses you need to take or how quickly you need to complete college, so if you can't take less courses, talk to your advisor or counselor and work with them to carefully plan out each semester so that your coursework is balanced IE: You don't end up accidentally taking Calculus + "Fun," art class that was 1000x more work than you thought it would be in the same semester.”~zachtheperson
“Burnt out doesn't begin to cover it.”
“I feel very qualified to answer this. I have been in college continuously since I was 18, and I'm now 32. I have 2 years to go before finishing my doctorate. I currently have an associate's, bachelor's, and master's. I have also worked the entire time. Burnt out doesn't begin to cover it. Here is how I stay sane:
- Give school as little bandwidth in your life as possible. "Good enough" are the two most beautiful words in the English language. Get Bs on things. Write your assignments and due dates on a master calendar, block off times to get them done, and try to avoid thoughts of school outside of those blocks.
- To increase productivity during your work blocks, use Freedom or something similar. I paid for a lifetime subscription and in one class alone it paid for itself. It just blocks access to your distractions on the phone and computer while you get stuff done.
- Tackle other hobbies in life that you see progress in outside of school. Even if it feels like school will never ever end and you're on a treadmill of misery going nowhere, you can go somewhere in other areas of your life. I'm currently training for a marathon, just started learning cello, I mentor first gen college students, and I'm in a book club. Pick your poison, but try to put away the laptop and push yourself in a non-academic area.
- Your social needs may vary, but try getting together with other people not in your circle of school misery. Join a sports league (yuck for me but maybe not for you). I host regular dinner parties. Volunteer. Now that vaccines are out, make sure you get one then connect with other people.
- DO NOT TAKE A BREAK. When you stop school even for a semester you know what it's like to be happy and not have the weight of misery pulling you down. You won't want to go back. Slog through and just do it.
- Don't reward yourself with damaging things. Don't eat or drink your rewards for school or you will be unhealthy and unhappy when you're done. Reward yourself with something positive instead."
If I had to recommend one book, it would be 'Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle'. Basically, it goes into the science of feeling burned out, why it's bad for you, and how to fix it on a physiological level."
“If you don't want to read the whole thing, if I could distill the most useful information it would be: exercise. The author digs deep into the science (which I love) behind why it works SO DAMN GOOD, but if you hate science and reading, trust me. Go for a run a few times a week, lift weights, dance a lot, just get your heart rate up. Good luck. School sucks."~bicycle_mice
You don’t have to be perfect.
walking dead love GIFGiphy“If you're an A student I would suggest lowering your personal bar. Being constantly burnt out isn't worth the 0.2 difference in your GPA and if you're worried about career prospects there are always comparable fields that aren't quite as competitive.”
“Trying to get an A in every class takes disproportionally more work. If you can get A's and a few more B's while getting to chill every once and a while and not stressing, do that.”~SlightlyOvertuned
Lists are seriously underrated.
If your sensation is of being overwhelmed (i.e. you have an impossible amount of work to do with no end in sight) more than burnt out (you are exhausted and becoming detached from the work), then two tips:
- Realise that it's not infinite. If you stick it out until graduation (and I hope you do!), then many of the problems you're accumulating will be wiped clear. Perhaps your GPA/final grade won't be as good as you want, but remember that whatever you're facing now - this too shall pass. Knowning that there is an inevitable light at the end of the tunnel is useful for me.
- Make a list. If you are the under-organised type, making a list of things to do each morning on a sheet of paper dramatically reduces the stress level that those items cause you. You can implement some fancy to-do software if you prefer but tbh a daily todo is simpler and more effective...”~alexandicity
A book and a blanket? Make it so.
read new york GIFGiphy“When I was a burnt out student I took solace in a comfort zone activity. Something unrelated to my school work that I could dive into for a little while when I needed a break. For me, this was reading the Lord of the Rings.”
“What works for you depends one what's in your comfort zone, but it should be something that you can easily pick up and put down again when it is time to get back to work.”
“To this day, I still read the Lord of the Rings when I get stressed or overworked. In fact, I am reading it now, for the 48th time.”~khendron
Healthy Routines...
“Lots of things you could try! Sleep. 8 hours a day, wake up spontaneously without an alarm and if you feel the need do a 30-90 minute power nap in the afternoon.”
“Meditate daily, 5-30 minutes to start in the morning or whenever you feel comfortable. Limit the consume of caffeine.”
“Plan a healthy diet you can stick to, reducing the amount of junk food first to focus later on the composition of your main meals, snacks and so on. Eat plenty of greens, fruit, nuts and drink mainly water or sugar free drinks.”
“Take cold showers. Those are a huge boost, especially in the morning. Decompress. As someone said, take the days you need to just do nothing during your week. Last but not least, workout! Start small, build the habit and stick to it!“~Tha_Sin
“...it's pretty normal in our over worked society.”
“Burnout is real. It means you have given too much of yourself to something, and you need to recover. While deadlines don't wait, professors often will. “
“You have to communicate with them if you are struggling. If they are worth their pay, they will do their best to accommodate you. It's unhealthy to continue under so much stress. Be kind to yourself.”
“Nearly everyone experiences this at some point in life, and it's pretty normal in our over worked society. Do what you can to clear your mind. Assign yourself a certain number of hours to completely shift gears away from all these responsibilities.”
“Set an alarm if you have to, but give yourself enough time to reach a stage of full body relaxation. You can try walking, meditating, sleeping, whatever your body needs. Just listen to it! There is no shame here. You must care for yourself and keep a balance. Deep breaths, often.”~VaginaWarrior
“Yes to this advice!! Let teachers know ASAP that you are struggling and often they will be able to make accommodations or offer help. Also, looking into counseling services that are offered through the school is definitely worth taking advantage of while that stuff is accessible and free.”~shannonbta
“because a b*tch needs water...”
“My bad day thing is I have to get up, eat (even if it's takeout), put on fresh bedsheets because if I'm having a bad day in bed it might as well be comfortable and smell good, have a shower (even just shoulders down) and go for even a small walk, even if it's to the shop or to get myself that takeout."
“They're not huge things to do but they're very difficult on some days. And I don't always do them all, maybe I just eat and shower, or go for a walk, or just change my bedsheets. But all of them are small tasks that feel like mountains but once I do one or two of them they're so so easy, and I benefit from them all mentally or physically or both."
“And I have a litre bottle of water and cup of tea at my side at all times because a b!tch needs water and there are few things as comforting as a good cup of tea in a warm mug to me."~thisisausername-2021
“I didn't pull a single all-nighter in my 4 years of undergrad.”
- “Don't listen to your fellow classmates who boast about study 60+ hours a week, they're either exaggerating, straight-up lying, or have an incredibly inefficient study method. There will be times where you really need to be studying hard for extended amounts of time (ex. finals week), but for the vast majority of the semester it is completely unnecessary to do that in order to get a good grade.”
- “If you do find that you need excessive study in order to do okay in a course then you need to reach out to your TA(s) and professor. Most universities have free tutoring services, use them.”
- “Seriously just take more breaks and get more sleep. I didn't pull a single all-nighter in my 4 years of undergrad and now that I'm in med school I don't have any need for that either. Without real breaks and sleep your brain's ability to actually store and organize all the information you've studied goes out the window. This is harder to do if you need to work to support yourself but you need to find some semblance of healthy sleeping habits if you want to be able to make it through all 4 years.”
- “Eat real food. Don't just live off of snack foods and coffee, your brain isn't going to work properly if you don't fuel it. It's generally cheaper to buy canned and frozen fruit and veg so if you're on a budget try those aisles. Additionally, most places have some sort of charity or community pantry/soup kitchen, use it if you need to.You don't need to be completely destitute in order to reach out for help from these places, if you are struggling to make ends meet get help from your community. It is not weak, it is not shameful, it's being smart enough to accept that everyone needs help now and then.”
- “I mean it, don't pay attention to classmates and social media influencers who say they spend all their time studying. They almost definitely aren't and if they are they have an unsustainable view towards work/school that will bite them in the butt later on.”~JSD12345
Treat yourself to a mini-vacation.
“If you have any extra money (I know, easier said than done) book the cheapest AirBNB you can find within the area you can get to with the transportation you have available. Go alone or bring a friend, and have a mini-vacation, just for a night or weekend. It's very refreshing to have a change of scenery, even if it's in your same city.”~goshawkgirl
These are some great ideas to help cope with the all to real burnout. Remember to show yourself the grace you give to others because your best is all you can do.
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