Reddit user b-secret asked:
"What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever Googled?"
How Much?
"what's the alcohol percentage in 70% rubbing alcohol?"
~ LightsJusticeZ
"55% alcohol, 15% rubbing"
~ FishOfFishyness
Who?
"I Googled my work because I couldn’t remember my boss’ name after working there for 8 months."
"I just blanked and couldn’t think of it."
~ HCxTC
Spellcheck
"I Google how to spell restaurant all the time."
~ ParkOk6450
"I'm like that but with Febuary."
"EDIT: February"
~ NeoNero_x
"I go into incognito mode to check spellings of words I should know how to spell."
~ LordCaptain
GiphyUm, No.
"I was trying to find the name of those signs where a word is written down the side and each letter is used for a descriptive word."
"Confusing I know."
"So here’s an example: False Evidence Appearing Real"
"I know it has to have a name. So I googled 'Sign where every word starts with a letter' and Goggle responded with 'Did you mean a sentence?'.”
~ Team_Lift
Looks Like...
"Googled green beans once, was super high and forgot what they looked like."
~ testies2345
"I did the same thing with beets."
~ Jjetsk1_blows
Gaby Yerden on Unsplash
That Movie, With the Guy and the Stuff...
"I'll forget the name of a movie and just type in random sh*t I think I remember. Usually it works."
"Like 'that movie where the kid sleeps and has weird dreams and flies on a bed'."
"Works like a charm."
~ fohsupreme
Did They Have Blue Feet?
"big boobies"
"I was only 10."
"I was surprised to find some."
~ PoopPower99
"I’m 39 and I Google this every day."
~ dekkact
"They're nice birds but are they really worth Googling everyday?"
~ redwolf1219
Blue-Footed Boobies
GiphyPredictive Text
"I used to search something like 'no clothes' or 'without clothes' or something like that when I was a kid."
"Then I learnt the word NAKED because of the TV show Naked and Afraid."
"Then searched it so many times that my autocorrect started to show that word first when I wanted to type something."
~ sniper8207
NSF...S?
"My favorite band growing up was 'The Barenaked Ladies'."
"When I was at school, I once Googled them and clicked on a link that said 'free shows!'."
~ BW_Bird
Good Description
"I forgot what a 'gondola' was called so I typed in 'Thing that carries you through the mountains in a basket'."
~ TheGreatJaceyGee
"I once forgot the word for 'door' so my brain reached for adjacent concepts, smashed them together and threw them out my mouth: 'house portal'."
~ Tail_Nom
GiphyIt Just Doesn't Translate
"I have to search a random word 'auf Englisch' or a random word 'auf Deutsch'."
"Every damn day."
"It took me a minute to realize that there was no way to translate Schadenfreude into English."
~ grammar_fixer_2
Ah, Memories...
"I found out that as long as you're logged into Google, all your searches are saved to your Google account (I'm not talking about browser history)."
"So I looked back, and the 1st thing I ever googled after getting a Google account was 'Can ducks fly'."
"I've no idea why I googled this. I know ducks can fly."
~ caca__milis
GiphyYou Ate What‽‽
"Once I was with some friends and I was telling them about how when I was a kid we only got to eat nuts as a special treat around Christmas."
"Then I mentioned how much I liked squirrel nuts and no one knew what they were. So I Googled 'squirrel nuts' with image search."
"Not at all what we ate at Christmas time."
"Finally found out what my family called 'squirrel nuts' were actually called hazelnuts."
~ 123fofisix
100% NSFW
"A few years ago my coworker and I were looking at the calendar at work. It had pictures of birds and we were trying to figure out what kind of bird was pictured for that month."
"I can’t remember what she thought it was, but I darned sure it was a Great Tit."
"We have a great relationship and have been working together for a long time but we tend to argue like an old married couple. So we went to Mr Google for the answer."
"Let me tell you that Googling Great Tit at work isn’t something I will ever do again."
"For the record, I was right. The bird was a Great Tit."
~ pi11bott
Great Tit holds an insect in its beak
A Perry on Unsplash
Hope some of these folks remembered to clear their browser and search histories.
So, what's your hilarious—or embarrassing—little Google secret search?
Reddit user Ok_Way_2341 asked:
"As a child, what’s a song you sang loud and proud, only to find as an adult it’s super inappropriate for a child to be singing?"
His Purple Majesty 👑
"'Gett Off' by Prince. My mother heard me sing '21 positions in a one night stand' and took the disc off me."
"It unfortunately belonged to my older sister."
"Got punished twice in one week."
"I still love that song."
- Cherrianje
Giphy"I was very very very old before I realized what 'Little Red Corvette' was about. Like mid-century old."
- Street_Roof_7915
"She had a pocket full of horses..."
- heatherbyism
"Trojan and some of them used…"
- Ferraenz
"I guess I should've closed my eyes, When you drove me to the place where your horses run free, 'Cause I felt a little ill when I saw all the pictures, Of the jockeys that were there before me."
- heatherbyism
"That line was so confusing to me as a kid."
"Toy plastic horses, maybe?"
- absentbusiness
GiphyMaybe not on that car ride.
"In the car, riding shotgun with my dad driving… 'I’ll make love to you, like you want me tooooo' - Boyz II Men."
- ADrunkenBotanist
"That’s in that weird intersection of 90s R&B that was tender and not necessarily nasty, but still definitely about sex.
"And sometimes, the songs were nasty, but if they were smooth, you could get away with it. 'Freek’n You' by Jodeci and 'Too Close' by Next come to mind."
- bearded_dragon_34
Who was it?
"'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy"
- AnimeTattooChick1836
"My classmate told me when she was younger she thought it went 'we were both butt-naked, banging on the bathroom door'."
"Seems a little strange that she didn't question the fact that they were naked, but yeah."
- No_Location854
"Oh no, I still thought it was floor."
"But for some reason my innocent little brain legit imagined just two naked people on their knees banging their fists on the actual floor."
"Ahhh simpler times."
- mikehawksux
GiphyMmmm... candy.
"The particular song that mentions 'I'll take you to the candy shop and let you lick my lollipop' left me completely unaware of its underlying meaning back then, as I blissfully enjoyed its melody."
- dimarikl
"That song is 'Candy Shop' by 50 Cent."
- Zcoombs4
We blame Austin Powers.
"'I Touch Myself' by Divinyls"
“I don’t want anybody else. When I think about you I touch myself.”
- Sorry_Rhubarb_7068
"I still remember the day my early 20’s self figured it out, that holy crap! moment."
- MyOldGurpsNameKira
"I figured it out when I was 14."
"To be fair, that’s a major hobby of pretty well all 14-year-old kids."
- dagbrown
Giphy"I forget what year that song came out, but I think I was around 15 when it did. (so about 1990, I guess?) I remember getting what it was about, but thinking I had to be wrong because it'd be 'illegal' for someone to release a song like that, so it must be about something else and I'm just too dumb to understand what it's really about."
"I had this weird idea as a kid that I was only one of the people on the planet who knew what sex was, so I assumed almost everything sexual related was an accident (as in, they didn't mean to make it sound like it's about sex) and it was actually about something else and I was too dumb to understand the true meaning."
"I actually made up a number once of people who knew what sex was and that number was 7. I thought myself + 6 other people on the entire planet knew what sex was."
"I honest to God thought this, by the way. I never stopped and wondered where all these kids came from if only 7 people knew what sex was."
- temalyen
Mini Monster
"My 11 year-old, completely innocent niece: 'let's have some fun, this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick' [from 'Love Game' by Lady Gaga]."
"Me: 'Let's play a different song'."
- 314159265358979326
"Skyrockets in flight" wasn't about NASA?
"Apparently 'Afternoon Delight' [by Starland Vocal Band] wasn’t about getting out of school."
"I did not know that."
- HuellMissMe
Giphy"My mum told me it meant having cake in the afternoon, which made perfect sense to me because that IS delightful."
- HelpfulName
"My aunt told us 'Afternoon Delight' was about going to get ice cream. 🙃"
- Truecrimeauthor
"I thought it was about a picnic!"
- MoonLoony
"I thought it was about a picnic too!"
"In 3rd grade we were each allowed to bring in our favorite record and play it for the class."
"That’s the one I brought."
- _ThisIsOurLifeNow_
GiphyIgnorance is bliss.
"My friend's daughter used to loudly sing Katy Perry 'Peacock'."
"Literally Everyone: 'Ummm...'."
"Friend: 'It's a song about a bird, and you will not say otherwise'."
- domestic_omnom
Got milk?
"'My Humps' - Black Eyed Peas"
"Apparently they were not just talking about milk and Cocoa Puffs."
- happygolucky226
"No, that's that 'Milkshake' song [by Kelis]."
"She makes really good milkshakes, right?"
- CatOfGrey
Giphy"My cousin (4 at the time) loved singing the 'Milkshake' song."
"Then she and her sister were gently told not to sing it so they moved onto 'My Humps'!"
"I couldn’t bear hearing about lovely lady lumps, so I tried to find another song more appropriate."
"They settled on another Peas one 'Shut Up!'."
"Slightly more tolerable I guess, but there was no telling the girls to shut up because they’d just start repeating it back in song at you."
- 3rdslip
GiphyBut Uncle Luke was so subtle...
"'Me So Horny' by 2 Live Crew."
"My Dad once said 'It’s your mom’s favorite song'."
"Thanks Dad."
- Geriatric_Sloth
"When I was a kid, my little brother came into the room singing [from 'We Want Some P***y' by 2 Live Crew] 'Just nibble on my d*ck like a rat does cheese'."
"My mom in outrage said, 'what did you say!'"
"He calmly looked at her and spoke confidently, 'All I said was just nibble on my d*ck like a rat does cheese'."
"He was like 4 or 5 years old, that tape [Is What We Are by 2 Live Crew] was confiscated immediately."
- Tweedbreak
Uncle Luke of 2 Live Crew
GiphyAnd now for something completely different...
"In about 3rd or 4th grade I came home from playing at a friends house…said friend had been singing some weird song that got stuck in my head."
"So I stroll in and take my seat at the dinner table and start singing as loud as I can: 'Sit on my face and tell me that you love me! I’ll sit on your face and tell you that I love you too!!'…my parents damn near choked."
"They couldn’t stop laughing and then told me never ever to sing that again. Luckily they were huge Monty Python fans…nothing I knew about at the time."
- roygbiv_87
*WARNING: NSFW*
Ah, to be young and innocent again.
Did you learn anything new about what a song really means?
Or did you sing something as a child that didn't make the list?
Share your story in the comments.
"Hotel staff of Reddit, what’s the most NSFW moment you witnessed at your hotel?"
Thrills On Ice
"I worked at a hotel in a resort town in Europe."
"One of the maids called me to a room for help because it has been the location of an extremely messy sex party from the touring ice show."
"There were used condoms thrown everywhere, and half the furniture was busted."
"The poor maid was in tears, thinking she'd have to clean it."
"The hotel management called in a professional cleaning company who wore disposable suits, respirators, and eye protection."
"They got rid of most of the stuff in the room and charged a fortune to the ice show."- Abba_Fiskbullar
Get A Room! Oh, Yeah...
"I work overnights in a relatively small hotel, and at least 6/7 days a week, I hear people banging loud as hell in their rooms."
"Half the rooms have a balcony that overlooks the lobby, and those doors aren't soundproof at all."
"We had a man sleepwalk out of his room to the lobby, bucka** nude."
"We had a woman show up in the lobby in her underwear."-
Now That Takes Effort
"Night Auditor here, I've seen a LOT."
"Multiple times I've had guests come to my desk completely naked because somehow they locked themselves out.... naked... this one always confuses me."
"But probably the most NSFW was a guest who had gotten violently ill."
"We're talking projectile vomit on EVERY surface of the room, blood all over, feces, pee... everything was just destroyed..."
"Obvious call to paramedics, but I can never unsee it."- thefuzzmuffin
Vomit Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphyAmazing He Wasn't Hurt...
"I was a night shift security guard for a motel right next to the biggest casino in my state."
"It was common for addicts to hang out around the property."
"One time, this guy staying in a room did a lil too much and had a freak out."
"He was running around the walkways naked."
"I had to ward him away from peoples rooms so they wouldn’t be disturbed."
"He ended up jumping off the second story balcony and splatting on the pavement."
"He scampered up and hauled a** across the street into a car dealership."
"Not my problem anymore."- Carniverousphinctr
Will Someone Think Of The Children?!?!
"Sex party in the hot tub while children were playing in the indoor pool steps away."
"I had to break that up and throw them out."
"And deal with the numerous lengthy yet justified complaints about it."- mbgal1977
When Wigs And Disguises Won't Cut It...
"Many years ago worked at a very nice casino resort as a valet."
"Regular pulled up in his nice BMW and went to help."
"Wrote up his ticket got his keys and offered to help load up his luggage on a bell cart while we waited for a bellman."
"Opened the trunk and went to lift the suitcase and I about threw my back out."
"I wasn’t prepared for it to be so heavy."
"Gave it another go and heaved it onto the bell cart and heard a sound."
“'Mr, did your suitcase just make an oof sound…?'”
"Long story short a sex worker who was banned from the property was stowed away in there to get up to his room."- thatryanguy1
Why Stop When The Getting Is Good?
"When I was young and worked at a hotel, I was delivering a room service meal and when I got there, the door was closed but had been left just shy of being latched."
'I knocked and the guest yelled 'come in'."
"I pushed it open with the cart, walked in and he was standing there with a big grin on his face watching my reaction as I wheeled in the cart, butt naked with a woman, also naked."
"He smiled and reached out and handed me a $20 he had in his hand and said to just leave it there and close the door on the way out."
"I guess part of their kink was to show off and see my reaction."
"I was shocked, but never said anything to anyone at work."- TXjoedog
NSFW? More Like Safety Hazard!
"The most NSFW thing that I recall was the manager getting on a cleaning kick and accidentally mixing the wrong chemicals in the pool area."
"A toxic gas started to form and the whole hotel had to be evacuated at like 5 AM."- DtotheJtotheH
What Haven't They Seen?
"I did security for a hotel for a number of years."
"I've seen naked guests locked out of their rooms, wedding parties break into the pool area and jump in fully clothed."
"Had a drunk woman climb out her 3rd-floor window and chill on the roof just below."- silverwarbler
Storefront?
"Best friend was GM I was manager."
"He found over the years 4 guns, 5 lbs of weed (at once)."
"The amount of guns is what surprises me."
"Only one out of the four guns found over the years was reported stolen."- Drewpacabra
So Many Questions...
"I wasn't working at this hotel and was just a guest, but I wish I had asked the staff for the backstory."
"I'm checking into my hotel in Los Angeles and was given my keycard."
"Head to the room, open the door, and there's a naked buff dude standing next to the bed just staring at me."
"He says nothing."
"I apologize and quickly leave, assuming somehow I'd gotten the wrong room."
"I go back to the front desk and say, 'I'm sorry, but I think you gave me the wrong room. There's a naked man already in there'."
"The worker at the front desk says, 'Sh*t, not again'."
"He pulls out his walkie talkie and says, 'Security? He's back again'."
"They assigned me to a different room and I was on my way."- telarium
How I Met Your Mother Comedy GIF by LaffGiphyWhat hotel guests do within the privacy of their own room is their business and no one else's.
Even so, it couldn't hurt for them to remember to lock their doors.