You get a very specific type of clout when you're dating a celebrity. While it can be hard to have your relationship in the public eye, there are some pros to it. Here are the stories of the Redditors that have dated a celeb.
u/sabr_miranda asked: Normal people who have dated famous people, how was it like?
What a cool dude.
I dated the drummer from a very popular band (and moonlighted for two other very popular bands) for about a year. He went on tour and I was in college so it didn't work out, but we're still really close friends and talk frequently. He never signed anything for me because he always said, "I only sign stuff for people I'll never see again." He says that still, and it's kind of cool because we see each other every now and then since we live relatively close to each other.
It was fun showing up with him to my friends birthdays and stuff, they were all kind of star struck (because they loved one of the really huge bands) and he would turn on the charm and make it special. He was/ is a good sport about that sort of thing.
That's gotta be tough.
Giphy
A friend of a friend is engaged to Jonah Hill. He's a nice guy, they travel a lot, he obviously is pretty wealthy but funny, relatively normal. Doesn't love the spotlight - he went to a college graduation and everyone made such a big deal that he was there and tried to take pictures that he had to leave because he just wanted to support his girlfriend's sister.
Cool!
My mom met her now-best friend at a party, the friend was new in town so my mom brought baby me over to play with her kids. She said the entryway had a ton of sports memorabilia, so she assumed they were just really big sports fans. The friend's husband came home in workout clothes, apologizes because he's been at practice and my mom says "which high school are you coaching?"
He was actually a big-deal NBA player who'd recently been traded to our city's team. He's always been a really cool family-oriented guy, he'd take us behind the scenes for all the games, floor seats, it was a blast. He's still involved in the NBA now (not as a player) and is just as cool.
A pupper fan.
Family friend dated Juliet from Lost for awhile. He said it was really tough to be in public with her because she would get swarmed. She apparently really loved walking dogs and actually took our dog on a walk one time when she visited. She loved being in the middle of nowhere apparently. She was exceptionally nice though and we talked a lot about the Red Sox which was cool for young me.
Those darn weebs.
Giphy
I dated a now very famous cosplayer about 5 years ago. Back then she had around 150k Instagram followers, now she has around 600k I believe. Those 150k were bad enough.
She posted ONE picture of us together about 3 months into the relationship. Just us smiling together on a date.
I received personal DMs and comments on my Instagram, even after our relationship ended about 6 months later, hundreds upon hundreds of:
- death threats, on account of not being good enough in the eyes of her fans
- penis pics from men who wanted me to know that their manhood would satisfy her more than mine
- repeated spam comments on any and all pictures I had personal friends and family tagged in so they would get notifications for every. single. one.
Our relationship ended because she moved across the country and I couldn't commit to that, but her insane fans were a contributing factor to that lack of commitment. Not a life I wanted. Even after she deleted the picture and I made my Instagram private, I still dealt with thousands of follower requests, these people finding my Twitter/Facebook, and so on for a good year or two after we broke up.
Only the men though. A lot of her female fans would leave nice comments. Those dudes, though. God.
Random but cool!
Not me, and this is from a while ago, but a friend's sister dated Max Baer Jr., Jethro from The Beverly Hillbillies. They parted on good terms.
He is a super nice guy, smart and kind. He could not come to the sister's wedding but sent a nice letter and an EXTREMELY generous gift.
That influencer life.
So I dated an IG influencer back in college. Not famous, but girls would recognize her in the streets (NYC). It was fine and first but we couldn't even get a drink at the bar without people coming up to her for a selfie. And the guys were beyond creepy. I would often catch men (middle aged mostly) just staring her down. I called out a few and they left us alone after that.
Anyway social media dictated her happiness. We would be having a great time and she would completely lose it because her video only got X amount of likes. I eventually broke it off because of the stress her "career" had on the relationship.
TLDR; go outside and enjoy nature and stay off social media.
Must've been a fun wedding.
Giphy
My mother in law is a famous celeb. She's surprisingly down to earth as is her son (my husband).
She actually hates the fame part of her career path and the fact that she can't go anywhere unrecognized. She can't leave her home without looking great at all times.. makeup, hair, carefully selected outfit.
When we go out with her, people stare a lot. I'm very aware of it but she and her son don't notice it anymore. Fans are very polite but they do interrupt frequently for selfies or to start conversations with her. She is polite but tries her best to send them off quickly. It can get invasive and frustrating, especially when you're just trying to have a meal, conversation or run errands.
We have been harassed by paparazzi a few times in our outings, especially when she was dating another very famous celebrity. During that time, I had to make sure I looked my best too because I was showing up in photos and video.
She invited other well-known celebrities to our wedding. Some of my guests probably RSVPd yes because of it. Congratulatory messages and photos were printed in national magazines and television shows.
The main benefit is that when we are with her, we get VIP treatment everywhere we go. We get the best service. We are prioritized at restaurants, get complimentary desserts, are upgraded to the best suites at hotels, and so on. She herself is often upgraded to first class on planes. People will bend over backwards for her and we get to take in the benefit of that.
On a one-on-one it's completely normal with her, like with any other MIL. I often forget she's a celeb and only remember when she starts being hounded for selfies.
Fair point.
I dated a famous guitar player before he was famous. I'm not going to name names because I don't want to link my account with my real life for obvious reasons. I broke up with him because I didn't want to be in a relationship with a famous person and I didn't want to hamper his success. I didn't like the role of being a musician's girlfriend (yes, despite the r/ name I am a chick). There were always lots of girls who wanted to get around him after shows and I didn't want to have to share my life with the public and he did, plus his career made having a normal dating life hell.
He was regionally famous when we were together. The last straw for me was going out on my birthday for dinner and to see a show. He got invited up on stage to play a song with the band and I was left standing around by myself, once again having to play the supporting role when I just wanted one day that would be about what I wanted (I just wanted to have some cheesecake and do a little dancing).
I think it's weird to see this person as a public figure. He's starting to age and is getting past his prime, which is even weirder. He became famous relatively young and now he's starting to look like worn out. I hope he's happy and I'm happy for him.
People used to act like I was crazy for breaking up with him on the cusp on him becoming famous and I was just like *shrug*. Fame dating wasn't fun for me and I see why so many celebrity couples break up. It's a hard life and it makes normal stability hard.
Just a persona.
I know someone whose mum dated Gordon Ramsay before she met her dad. Apparently he's a really nice guy. The TV stuff seems to be a persona to drive people to exceed.
Fame is tough.
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I'm a stage actor in London and my last girlfriend (also an actor) got a principal role in a TV series. It went from being hungover, eating morning after kebabs in my shared flat to seeing her being interviewed on international TV in a matter of months.
It sucked.
We used to go out for drinks a few nights a week, but it became a huge chore almost instantly. But she's so lovely, bless her, that she'd talk to everyone. I'm a lot more miserable than her, and can't stand people talking to me when I'm eating so I'd be really pissy. Haha.
She ended up moving to the states and we broke up, but still text all the time.
It made me realise that fame is an unfortunate side effect of the work. Being famous is sh*t.
Nice.
During my first enlistment, I was doing my usual perusing of the college bars for some fun easy to get sex. Clicked with a chick and she took me to the beach house she had rented a few blocks away. Sex was GREAT.
Found out next morning during pillow talk she's a fairly well known porn star that lived south of where we were. The house had been rented to film a porn the previous day. Yes she was the star. No I'm not grossed out.
Understandable.
I dated Marilyn Manson back when he was playing Paul on The Wonder Years. He was cool except that time he had a rib removed to blow himself.
Do not care.
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I'm not going to say who it is to respect his privacy, but he still plays and will have made upwards of $100M by now.
And yes, the cheating is absolutely insane. They literally do not give two sh*ts. It's so expected. I'm absolutely positive his wife knows and just looks the other way. All the baseball wives do.
At least they found true love.
I dated a now famous YouTuber for 6 years, we were together for four years before his career took off but once it did our entire relationship became sort of fodder for his channel. Even his proposal, which was sweet but awkward and stilted was taped from start to finish and once edited came out looking like the most gorgeous, romantic thing. I remember reading through his IG and YouTube comments obsessively as strangers gushed about "shipping" us and how we were this amazing couple and half of me using it as a justification to stay in it and the other half thinking " if only you knew how miserable we really are..." .
After we broke up he deleted almost every shred that we were ever together off his accounts except one video of us. Maybe once a year I'll go back and watch it to remind myself of who I was then and because his cinematography is goddamn gorgeous.
I met my now husband a week after we broke up, we started dating 9 months later and got married 9 months after that. Everything just felt more natural with him and like what love actually feels like, not just what it looks like on the surface.
Rom-coms like to frame it as one person being madly in love and the other just not realizing they're in love yet. It's determination, it's devotion, it's "true love" and so romantic!
Nah, it's totally disregarding your boundaries and your autonomy and collectively can we just ... ya know ... NOT?
Hanging around waiting for someone to be emotionally compromised so you can swoop in and "save the day" with your love is predatory.
"Wearing them down" until they say yes to a date is predatory.
Sabotaging their friendships and other relationships in the hopes that they'll "fall back" to you is predatory.
Not romance. Raptors. Now cut it out!
Reddit user MysteryScallop asked:
"What do people need to stop romanticizing?"
And hey, would you look at the very first response, it's our good friend Rom-coms!
But they're not alone here. This list is full of messiness, take a look.
Rom-Coms Need To Be Stopped
Bbc Starz GIF by Dublin MurdersGiphy"People dropping all their own goals and interests for someone else. Yes, the plot of standard rom-com."
- Mattie725
"Which brings us to stalking. Also romanticised in rom-coms."
- CozyCauldron
"This!"
"It's scary how people in these threads I see are sometimes just like 'no this is so romantic' and 'oh look at their relationship progressing' while I'm like 'no wtf?! this is the behavior of a crazy person that I wouldn't want anything to do with in real life ever!' "
"Doesn't just go for stalking, goes for a lot of things really. Rom-coms/dramas etc are good at romanticizing these really weird and super unhealthy things."
- thanhpi
"Do you know the series 'You' on Netflix?"
"The protagonist believes he is the hero of a romance. Just watch the trailer, I love it. It's relevant."
- koi88
Manic Pixie Superpowers?
Sarcastic Rose Byrne GIF by Apple TVGiphy"Mental illness is a serious condition. Having one does not make you cool, unique, or insightful. It's a disaster."
- Pretend_Drink5816
"The people who call ADHD a 'superpower' are just flat out wrong. ADHD is super debilitating overall."
"While there are some things we can do 'better' than people who are neurotypical, overall ADHD is extremely hard to manage and often can destroy a person's home life, school and/or career."
"Things aren't structured for us. At all. It's really hard to function."
- deja_geek
"Some individuals go as far as fetishsizing people with mental illness and its disgusting. That Manic Pixie Dream Girl is suffering."
- [Reddit]
"Some people called my autism a 'superpower' because smart or rich people also have autism and are really successful (Elon musk, Bill gates etc).but their superpower isn't autism, it's being a rich white guy."
"People don't seem to realize what Savant Syndrome is or what privilege is and just believe everyone with a mental illness or disability is some secret untapped genius, which is not the case."
"I don't have a 'superpower' and am not incredibly smart, what is different is my breakdowns which aren't fun believe it or not."
- Yuri-Bad
Followers
Social Media Reaction GIF by TravisGiphy"Having Followers."
- gor8884
"I had an acquaintance tell me that he really liked this guy he had gone on a few dates with, but the the guy had less than 1000 Instagram followers, and he saw that as a red flag."
"We were probably 19/20 at the time, in college. This guy was obsessed with social media appearances. He would only post photos of himself with people who he deemed attractive enough."
"Once my roommate, her other friend, him & I all went out. He knew my roommates friend on the same level as me, just acquaintances. No real connection."
"The friend is super pretty; she looks similar to Shay Mitchell."
"He asked to take a photo with her so he could post it on Instagram and didn’t even ask my roommate who he is ACTUALLY friends with or I to get in it LOL."
"HE was definitely the red flag in that relationship."
- rahws
"Real" Fathers
darth vader father GIF by Star WarsGiphy"My wife's ex-husband has documented schizophrenia, bi-polar and is a drug addict with a severe alcohol problem. He's also assaulted multiple people and posted pictures/bragged about nearly beating an old man to death at a gas station because he 'talked to his woman.' "
"People liked to romanticize him as just 'protective father.' "
"We lived in absolute fear anytime he got to see the kids. Would they come back with bruises, night-terrors, talking about strange people and places?"
"Or the week-long headaches with their clothes smelling of marijuana and having strange stains on them. What would go wrong this time? Or...would we even see them again?"
"Would he fly off the handle this time and beat or abandon them? Would he do what he's threatened and leave the state?"
"It's absolutely terrifying. The late night/early morning messages that didn't make sense, had him half-naked outside doing God only knows. The video chats of him being drunk or high."
"It took years to get him cut off completely, all due to the f*cking lie that 'children need their "REAL" father.'
F*ck. That. Shit. Sideways."
"No, they don't. Especially not if he's a dangerous maniac and they have a Father (ME) and only wants to love and protect them."
"He wasn't 'protective, he was violent. It cost nearly $10k and took ~5 years but he's finally been cut off."
"It only happened when he tried to break in, armed with a gun, drunk at 3am. He was caught a block away waiting for us to come out."
"Why? To be a real father and 'check on his children... with a loaded gun. The letter he wrote that they confiscated off of him that night really told what he wanted to do."
"We've since moved, and it's taken over a year of no contact for us to finally not be looking over our shoulder every second. Mental illness is awful and the man truly needs to be locked up, away from the general population with long-term care."
- importvita
Caught Up In The Game
ice cube film GIFGiphy"The 'gangsta' lifestyle and all that it entails."
"I grew up in Oakland and have witnessed far too many of the people I grew with get caught up in the game. Roughly half of the guys from my former neighborhood are either serving life sentences or were killed."
"I grew up in the 80s, but it's even worse now."
- frog_without_a_cause
"We've been glorifying lawless rebels who make their fortune through strength, cunning, and weapons since the start of time."
"Gangsters are just the modern version of outlaws, bandits, pirates, treasure hunters, and explorers. They answer to no one, they don't take any crap, you don't want to cross them, and the ones we idolize (whether real or fiction) are the ones that do that and succeed."
"We overlook the many, many examples of it being awful and focus on the few that show it being way better than our sh*tty boring, repetitive lives where we lack so much freedom."
- BillyPotion
Seriously Serial
This Is Weird GIF by Catfish MTVGiphy"Serial killers."
- TheSmegmatician
"And putting details of what they did all over the media, giving them additional fame. A comic I can't recall the name of said 'I know more about Ted Bundy than I know about my family.' "
- tactfulvulture
"Ted Bundy legit got hundreds of love letters from women in jail. Really strange why women would find a person who specifically murders only women attractive."
"Humans are certainly bizzarre."
- Noob_master_slayer
"Last podcast on the left does a really good job of showing how these guys are actually just massive losers that turn to killing because it’s the easiest way they can be good at something."
- nurplethepurple
"You can't possibly be a "fan" of any serial killers they talk about, because they make it very clear what pathetic and horrible people they all were."
"I absolutely loved their Charles Manson episodes. 99% of Manson-related media makes him out to be some criminal psychopath mastermind."
"LPOTL makes him out to be a horny little conman troll who had no f*cking clue what he was doing and made a bunch of choices out of sheer panic or stupidity. There's no glamour there."
- GaimanitePkat
It's Just A Job
Tired Presidential Debate GIF by INTO ACTIONGiphy"Overworking."
"My coworkers tend to make it a competition to see who can make the most sacrifices for their career. Who puts in the most overtime hours? Who does things off the clock for work more? Etc"
"It's bullsh*t. I have a life and a family I want to prioritize."
- Disastrous_Emu_3911
"Saying that you work a lot isn't the flex most people think it is. Unless you're rich or you work for yourself, you're basically admitting that you're sacrificing your life for someone else's gain."
- haloarh
"I can see when everyone on my team logs in and out."
"It's super common for people to start working at 4-5am and stay on until 10-11pm. I see work getting submitted at 2am. I see people logging on during weekends."
"One person even worked on Thanksgiving."
"It's like they don't know how to occupy themselves if they're not doing their job."
- Firate
Hot People Can Be Evil
bella swan twilight GIFGiphy"Attractive people doing harmful things."
"People shouldn't get a pass to do toxic and rude things simply because they're attractive. Why do I see serial killers and toxic partners get romanticized simply because they're hot?"
"Why does that make their horrible actions somehow badass and charismatic??"
- Basic_Material
"Back when the Boston marathon bombing happened one of my friends on Facebook started posting a bunch of pictures of one of the bombers, talking about how she would have dreams about him and how obsessed she was with him."
"I straight up blocked her after the second or third time because I couldn't get over how messed up that was. Dude killed and maimed multiple people, his objective attractiveness became absolutely null at that point."
- WhoIs_DankeyKang
"Ugh Twilight absolutely romanticizes this!"
"It's NOT ROMANTIC that a guy breaks into your bedroom at night and watches you sleep. It's not suddenly less terrifying because he is hot."
- Trueloveis4u
Yandere
mirai nikki gasai yuno GIFGiphy"In the anime community, can we please stop with the premise of a 'Yandere,' where someone is so obsessed with someone that they'd go out of their way to hurt other people that person falls in love with."
"I once had a girlfriend in college tell me entirely seriously that she had killed someone before and would physically harm the person I went out with if I ever went out with someone else."
"It was terrifying. It led to me having a fight with another close friend before finally mustering the courage to break off the relationship."
"She's been out of my life for three years but she still causes me issues with relationships to this day (for a few other reasons as well)."
"Not once did I think it was hot to have her earnestly threaten someone else. F*ck that."
- AverageMormonGamer
It's Not Organization
Sobbing Jamie Lee Curtis GIF by filmeditorGiphy"OCD."
"It’s not quirky or funny when I’m late for work because I had to back upstairs to check that the gas stove is off for the fifteenth time because I can’t stop envisioning the whole building blowing up."
"I literally stand frozen to the spot trying to fight the urge to go back when I KNOW I CHECKED but the intrusive thoughts are too upsetting to deal with."
"OCD isn’t being cute and quirky organized."
"For me its believing that people will die if I don’t check again. Again. No again."
"Even if it hurts me. Again."
"I watched a TV series called Whitechapel where the main detective has OCD. There’s a scene of him flicking his office light switch off and on repeatedly whilst screaming his head off desperately wanting to stop."
"That is exactly what it feels like for me."
- UnspeakablePlants
"Howie Mandel talked about this on Conan's podcast the other week."
"As an example, he said he'd miss business meetings getting stuck in a loop of checking that the front door was locked for hours."
- ispysomethingorange8
What does it say about us as people that almost all of these were related to the ways we glamorize our own destruction?
I know I came hard for rom-coms at the beginning, but let's be honest this list is kind of disturbing. What's more, I'm sure you all have things you could add here.
So let's talk about them. What dangerously romanticized thing would you add to the list?
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'American Beauty,' that was the first film I truly began to appreciate the aesthetic of cinema. The roses, the reds, the blues, and how it was all married... brilliant!
Brilliant
tim blake nelson water GIFGiphy"'Oh Brother Where Art Thou,' it was just so visually unique and the slightly aged color tinting with the old music worked together so well." ~ educatedpotato1
Tarsem
"The Fall was gorgeous. For clarification, the 2006 movie "The Fall.'" ~ savantard
"This is one of my secret favorite movies. I say 'secret' because most people have never heard of it and it's criminally overlooked. Gorgeously shot, and a beautiful story to boot." ~ Schneetmacher
"For anyone who doesn't know, Tarsem Singh, the director, did both 'The Fall 'and T'he Cell.' Even though it only got one season (a tragedy), I recommend NBC's Emerald City to anyone who enjoys Tarsem's work. He directed every episode. A lot of beautiful costumes on that show." ~ die-squith
See This...
"Kubo and the Two Strings was a beautiful movie, visually and musically." ~ drawfanstein
"I think it didn’t get the recognition it deserved because a lot of people found the storyline lacking in comparison to the other movies studio laika produced. But the movie was seriously stunning and definitely in the lead for most beautiful (Coraline is the runner-up imo)." ~ Lihork
Secrets
"'The Secret of Kells.' Everything by Cartoon Saloon is absolutely beautiful, but this one also has the perfect match of subject matter and art style." ~ Murgatroyd314
"I like to describe the art/animation style as 'Genndy Tartakovsky on mushrooms, possessed by a monk's ghost.' Even when not on psychedelics I weep with both joy and sadness at multiple points in the film because of how much emotion the mise-en-scene is able to evoke." ~ I_Do_Not_Abbreviate
The Flow
audrey tautou amelie breaks the 4th wall GIF by MauditGiphy"Amélie. The color scheme is warm and welcoming, the storyline flows beautifully, and the soundtrack is brilliant and whimsical, not to mention how talented each actor is. This is my favorite movie." ~ ItStillIsntLupus
My movie bucket list is growing. There is clearly much to study.
Long and Sandy
true detective desert GIFGiphy"'Laurence of Arabia.' I don’t care for long movies or deserts, and it’s still just very pretty." ~ akaCatt
Spaghettis
"'The good, the bad and the ugly' is a strangely beautiful movie." ~ tsaroz
"A lot of the old spaghetti westerns are beautifully shot. And the pacing is tightly controlled to make sure you experience it. Watching these movies in my 40s when I'm more patient is a much different experience than when I was a kid and bored waiting for the gunfights." ~ allboolshite
Sing 2 Me
"Song of the sea." ~ KiviRinne
"Scrolled way too far to find a Cartoon Saloon movie. Everyones mentioning Ghibli, and they're not wrong to do so. But Cartoon Saloon is criminally underrated. 'Secret of Kells, Song of the Sea, and Wolfwalkers.' Some of the most visually beautiful films on the planet." ~TheBlueHeron
In the Woods
"1917 was really nice, even though it was mostly bland brown colors for the majority but the scene in croisilles wood with Jos Slovik singing 'poor wayfairing stranger' is probably my favourite cinematographic moment in film." ~ ravioli_knight2
"The French town at night is my favorite part of that film shot-wise. Flares illuminating the ruins, the glow of burning buildings, shadows everywhere, and one small little fire-lit enclave where a hapless civilian still resides." ~ Metlman13
"This was the movie that popped into my head first. It was so well done, and even though the colors are all similar, the lighting, angle of the shot, and noise/lack of noise all made it so pleasant to watch. Especially being filmed to look like a one-shot movie, it just kept me on the edge of my seat and all the more wrapped up in the cinematography." ~ anony_moose9889
"The strange beauty is one of the best aspects of the movie. It gives 'The Shimmer 'this sort of 'devil-may-care' personality. The mutations occur in whatever way it seems necessary in each life form. On one hand you get these beautiful deer-like creatures with flowering branches for antlers. On the other hand." — Screambear.
I love movies. And I'm glad I'm not alone. Tell me more... what else should we be watching?
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I have pain everywhere. Just because I'm not twenty anymore doesn't mean my body gets to just give in. I know I could help more with that issue, but I feel like my design should be more automatically durable.
Murderers
season 5 GIFGiphy"Honestly our appendixes try to kill us too often. Something ain’t right with it." ~ moonbarrow
The Nerve
"The sciatic nerve routing. Going through the periformis muscle was a bad idea." ~ Sleepdprived
"Just FYI: actually passing through the muscle is an anatomical variant. For the majority of people, the nerve just travels alongside the muscle. Still, that variant is a... uh, pain in the butt." ~ EauEwe
"I'm currently experiencing sciatica right now. It's a nerve being pinched by your spine or muscle in the lower back. The best way I can explain is like a scalpel scraping off your bone marrow throughout your entire leg 24/7."
"It's physically and mentally excruciating so much so that people who suffer from it would rather have their entire leg amputated than live through it. And the thing is this is not an uncommon medical condition. Since the cause is usually a spinal injury, it takes way longer to recover than other injuries, so you're pretty much sleep deprived and exhausted from the pain at every moment until it resides. I'm 25 right now and my first sciatic episode started when I was 21" ~ psyatica
Jaws
"Teeth, one set while we're a child, one set for 60/70 years." ~ godca_grema
"Meanwhile sharks, the lucky bastards, just keep growing new teeth." ~ XxsquirrelxX
"We used to call my brother Shark Boy growing up. That dude had LAYERS of teeth. He had one tooth that grew in the roof of his mouth."
"He also had teeth growing sideways in his gums which torqued his other teeth. It took 2.5 years to get him prepped for orthodontics and then he was in braces for another 5 years after that. Worth it though, he looks like a Colgate commercial now." ~ justuselotion
Too Loud
"The ear. Eyes have eyelids, you can close your mouth, but if there’s an extremely loud noise, your ear drum has to just take it and be irreversibly ruined." ~ sicknessandpurgatory
"Well technically there is a muscle that can tighten your ear to prevent damage from extreme noise, it’s the same reason you don’t hear yourself chew. Some new cars will make a sound to trigger this muscle to prevent hearing loss from the noise of an accident." ~ engineer_doc
Heeled
Soccer Celebrate GIF by Indiana HoosiersGiphy"Achilles tendon. Single point of vulnerability that has no bone sheath and will absolutely cripple you if it's f**ked with." ~ Torvaun
Why do we have an appendix? And why is it a ticking time bomb? All good questions.
Cat Dancing GIF by TikTokExposed
"The elbow. Why the f**k is there a nerve that's so exposed, when you hit it at just the right spot it sends a jolt down your arm?!" ~ hikoboshi_sama
"It’s not just one nerve. You’re talking about the brachial plexus. It’s a bundle of nerves that come from your spine and innervates all the muscles in your arm. That’s why stingers hurt so much, it’s taking out every nerve."
"It’s also a good site for nerve blocks when you have upper limb surgery because you can disable the arm and reduce post operative pain by applying anaesthesia around the nerve roots. Also, in the case of brachial plexus avulsions, you lose all function permanently. And on that note, nerve injuries are freaking crap. We should be able to regenerate them more easily and quickly." ~ ShibuRigged
Cardboard
"Knees are a good idea, but needed a bit more R&D before being rolled out." ~ ChampionshipMission
"Came here to say this. Have you ever seen a child try to make a spaceship or a suit of armor out of cardboard, but they don't have enough cardboard and none of the pieces really fit together anyway, so they end up lashing it together with dozens of strips of tape at every possible angle until it just barely holds together? That's knees. That's how your knees are made." ~ DerCatzefragger
Tiny Humans
"Having sharpened rocks that slowly push their way through the sensitive gums of tiny humans who are too small to understand or explain the reason for their incessant crying. Bonus bad points for these tiny humans being designed to get 100% of their nutrition by latching their new razor teeth around the nipples of another human." ~ PoetryOfLogicalIdeas
E is for Empty
poop toilet GIF by Poo~PourriGiphy"Bowels. I should be able to decide when to empty them completely! In one go and not little bit now and more later!"
"Edit: All this fibre talk, I get it. I now understand more about the importance of fibre. But that kinda adds to what I'm saying. Imagine not needing a summoning ritual. Like deciding when you do and don't drop the kids off at the pool. A human eject button." ~ J1ra1y4
The bowels, they never let up. And like I said earlier, the knees have it. Ankles, knees, elbows, the keys to a happy life.
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