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People Who Fix Botched Tattoos Share Their Funniest Experiences

Tattoo artists are flies on the wall. They get to see the moments before, during, and after a person's decision to permanently plaster something on the outer layer of their body.


So they have some pretty amazing stories. As you'd imagine, A LOT of people later regret the tattoos they get. Sometimes it takes mere minutes before the horror of permanence sets in. Sometimes it takes a little time.

Either way, they come hobbling in asking for the artists to put in some extra work--to fix the recent mistake.

For the artist, that can be a bit annoying, or hilarious, or horrifying.

A recent Reddit thread beckoned the very juiciest stories that the world's tattoo fixers had to offer.

ProAssassin666 asked, "People who fix bad tattoos, what is the funniest/worst story of a bad tattoo?"

Karma

"Removed some terrible ones in my time."

"The worst was an entire back piece of swastikas and hanging black men from trees. Lots of hate all over."

"He booked over the phone. I sound like an average British white, which I'm not."

"When he came in, shoulda seen the look on his face. He had to apologize like a million times and say his disclaimer for almost half an hour before letting me see it."

-- NASTYOPINION

Been There, Done That

"I was in the shop shooting the sh** and looking through the books, while my buddy was in the chair getting some new ink. Young couple walks in."

"They're maybe 19-20 years old and pawing each other to the point that I thought they were going to fall down and have sex right there on the floor."

"Girl says, 'We need matching Bobby and Becky Forever tattoos with hearts and flowers!' "

"Artist (also a friend) doesn't even look up, 'No, go away. You been together what? One month? Two? Come back in five years.' "

"The girl argued for about a minute and then they left."

"Artist: 'I hate doing coverups of my own work.' "

-- Outlander56

The Scenic Route to a Butterfly Tattoo

"A tattoo artist who was working on my sister in law told me this one."

"So this affair couple comes in and they want to get each other's initials in huge letters just above their groins, under the belly button. The guy goes first, and when its done, the girl walks out and the guy chases after her."

"He comes back half an hour later, saying he needs to cover it up somehow. They were going to leave their spouses for each other, but she got cold feet and broke things off with him, so he didn't want to leave his wife now and couldn't go home with some girl's initials on him."

"The only thing they could think of thatd be big enough and bold enough to cover it was a butterfly."

-- lukekneip

A Record of a Toxic Narrative

"The funniest case that sticks in my mind is the woman who came in wanting me to cover up her ex-husband's name, which was part of a lower back rose design. I did so by extending some leaves and reworking it to balance out the new addition."

"A couple months later, she came back in to have her ex-husband's name re-added because, guess what, they got remarried. So I did it, but fortunately I convinced her to do it fairly small, just in case, you know."

"Surprise surprise, about a year later she's back to get it covered again! She was a pretty cool lady in general, as I remember, and we had a lot of good laughs and 'I told you so's.' "

"I haven't seen her since, or at least not for that expanding rosebush."

-- 100Dachsunds

Hebrew in Hebrew

"Not an artist here but an old buddy of mine was going through a really religious phase and wanted the word Jesus tattooed on him in Hebrew characters. So he used the internet to translate and copied the word, printed it and got it tattooed."

"Unfortunately, he copied the word 'Hebrew' in the Hebrew characters instead of the word 'Jesus.' We still bring it up every so often."

-- Shanamat

A Needed Service

"I live in Los Angeles."

"I know there's one shop that will cover up any gang tattoos and even laser removes gang tattoos for free."

-- NukedOut

A Sticking Point in the Relationship

"A 20 year old guy comes in with his girlfriend trying frantically to not go through with this and everything and when I see the tattoo I was floored. It was her name tattooed on his d**k!"

"While I was removing it we start talking (his gf had left for a coffee and she told him to think about it but he immediately told me to remove it once she was gone) and apparently she also was a tattoo artist and they were at the parlor where she worked at and they got drunk and he agreed to get the tattoo which she had been trying to convince him to get for a while and I guess he was way too drunk but he got it."

"Now when his girl came back it was almost gone and she freaked out saying she didn't think he would do it and SHE WENT TO GO GET A TATTOO OF HIS NAME ON HER WRIST so she lied and said she was getting coffee."

"She thought that was going to convince him to keep it, that was a sign of their love and a whole bunch of bs."

"But he came back with, 'Would a person who loved me get me drunk and tattoo my d**k?' and that shattered her because she knew she was taking advantage of him that night so he said we will talk at my place."

-- ShootyMcShooter420

Mr. Sarafice

"I had a friend in the fire department that had the Maltese Cross with the words 'Honor... Duty... Sarafice.' "

"He was called 'Sarafice' the rest of his career."

-- Fyrepup

Don't Judge a Book

This mid 70s looking lady come in and asked for a tattoo cover up, usually we first see the tattoo to see the metrics and all that, but she passed through that and went straight to the new tattoo design..."

"...didn't wanted to push her or make her feel uncomfortable to let me see the tattoo immediately, but I ended the drawing she wanted a rabbit with roses by the side."

"Now this is where it all goes down, I go take a look on what I'm covering up and see a massive Nazi flag w a little heart by the side and the name inside was Hitler..."

..."I was shocked as f***, did the cover up and when i got to fill the name Hitler she started crying because she apparently was emotionally attached to a tattoo that had Nazi sh**..."

"...I did the whole thing and she left like nothing happened."

-- LuigiIsWeak

Overconfidence

"A guy from high school had 'no regrets' tattooed to his forearm."

"Then had it removed."

-- Elean0rMiller

A Very Elaborate Prank

"Had a friend who got a temporary tattoo and as a joke tried to walk into a tattoo parlour and get the tattoo 'fixed up' That artist was about a quarter way through when he realized it was temporary."

-- PapaTrotzki

Cylindrical Animals

"My first one was done by a guy from prison with a tatttoooo machine made there! My snake looked like a worm. The second one on top of that-by an artist who was high...the snake is flat I need to fix it now again...🤣🤣🤣professionally, but a real professional would never fix, he would paint from scratch🙄😭"

-- KristinaGalvydyte

Various Takes on an Unfinished Cross

"I had a friend who started to get a cross on his arm, halfway through he couldn't take it anymore and stopped. It looks like a bong or a side shot of a body with a boner."

-- Cannibal_Cyborg

Mellow Wolves and Daggers

"At one point before I decided to become a businessman I wanted to try tattooing for some extra cash and my friends dad is a professional tattoo artist and he agreed to take me as an apprentice."

"Two weeks in and a guy comes in with a I dont even know what it was but he got it while drunk. (Side note never get tattoos while drunk it's a bad idea.) Anyway my friends dad turned the what I think was a dog or whatever into a really cool wolf with a dagger hanging out of its mouth like a stick being brought back."

"The guy said he was wanting a tattoo and wanted to be 'mellow.' "

-- coolkage

Anatomical Errors

"I personally don't have any tattoos but an old friend decided to get his first tattoo, spent a few weeks drawing this dragon out, took it to the tattooist who said that will not fit on his arm, so he picked one off the display of a skeleton with a scythe, only thing is the skeleton has 5 fingers and a thumb on one hand, he got stick for year for that one."

-- Gingerpanda72

Buyer Beware

"I don't fix tattoos, nor do I personally have a bad one. BUT, one of my good friend's wife was stationed in Germany, so they moved there. One of the first nights there, my buddy got hammered and wandered into a tattoo parlour."

"Basically just told the guy to give him whatever. Ended up being a giant naked woman with her hands tied behind her back and a dunce cap on."

-- The_Birds_171

The Golden Years 

I have a friend who, shortly after high school, got a tramp stamp that said 'Ride 'em cowboy.' It fit her life at the time."

"Now, 20 or so years later, she's married with a family, and has since had it covered up with a sprawling full color nature scene with symbolism representing her kids."

-- EwoksMakeMeHard

Clearly, it hasn't hard to regret getting something inked, but we're thankful there are artists out there committed to making things right.

Do you have any experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.