Getting sober is one of the most important and life changing events. Alcohol is fun, yes. But, some of us have a little too much fun with it. There are so many reasons why people don't drink and those can be life saving reasons to know. It's all good to have fun, but we need to recognize overindulgence.
Redditor wanted to hear from all the sobers out there by asking.... Non drinkers of Reddit, what do you tell people when they ask "why don't you drink"?
Just One.
Grew up in an alcoholic home. Homeless. Always on the run from the law. My grandfathers on both sides were alcoholics. My dad was an alcoholic. My sister is an addict and alcoholic. She's living on the street somewhere. I always assumed I was probably an alcoholic, too. So, I just never drank the first one. I'm 53 and have never had a beer or any alcohol.
I just tell people I don't drink and never have. A friend of mine was poking fun at me once back in high school, "Are you afraid to have even one drink!?"
I responded, "You've been to my house."
He got real serious and said, "Yeah. Sorry. That was uncool."
I just don't drink. Kiroway66
Keep at it.
Because I'm an alcoholic and my life goes to crap when I drink. *sober since 06/07/14. liquid405
Yeah buddy! I hear you, I've been sober since 30/08/13. Creeping up on 6 years in 2 weeks time. Keep at it. white_butterfly1
"I don't want to"
It aggravates my disease.
I have other reasons, but it's the one I most revert to because "I don't want to" usually doesn't cut it for whatever reason.
Edit: disease is Rheumatoid Arthritis, the times I have tried drinking it's triggered a flare really badly. supern0vaaaaa
15 Years Ago.
"I met my quota 15 years ago. I drank all of the alcohol I was allotted for life and probably some of your quota too, so I had to stop." FairyDustSailor
I've thought about using that one. I drank so much towards the end of my career of being a drunk I just can't. I'm 43 days sober today. I was drinking a liter of gin a day so its game over if I start back. Chubs_Mackerel
Just Being 20!
Giphy
I'm 20 and I say this (I don't drink because I've known a few too many alcoholics to want to even try getting drunk). Everyone takes it as a challenge to make me drink more! Like, "oh, we say it's ok, so get drunk, hun." Uhhhh... no thanks. mrichter2
Not Right Now.
I hate telling people that I don't drink because then they ask that question. I usually tell people "I don't feel like drinking right now." Not only do I not feel like drinking now, I don't feel like drinking ever again.
The real answer is, when I start I can't seem to stop, and health concerns. People get so defensive about why drinking alcohol is ok, I don't get it. Like, you make your decisions and let me make mine. BagelDesk
Full Disclosure.
I no longer drink because I like drinking way to much. hangryguy
Yep, last week at happy hour with new friends I just said "Full disclosure-I'm not responsible enough to drink," takes the edge off the whole alcoholism thing, worked well. My virgin mojito was meh but my sanity, health, relationships and Saturday morning were deeelish. 2 years sober now. aussiefrzz16
The Meds.
On medication, which is true, but the main reason is that I'm a complete control freak. DonutsAndDoldrums
Yeah I can't due to medication and so many people try to talk me into it. It's like no thanks I don't feel like dying today. The insistence people have when trying to get people to drink is creepy. SoVerySleepy81
Family Tree.
Had an alcoholic parent. Turned me off drinking completely. killy420
Grew up being told that the most brilliant man I could have ever met was my grandfather. And he died the year before I was born due to alcoholism. My parents had already cut ties with that part of the family for all kinds of alcohol and drug issues, cousins that couldn't stay out of jail for more than a month, etc.
I tell people that my body doesn't process alcohol very well and could hospitalize me. Most don't press after that. In reality I can only handle the equivalent of one beer before I start to feel uncomfortable and hot and I've never really felt any kind of encouragement to push through that. bVI7N6V7IM7
Blackout.
Giphy
"Because none of you can stop me when I blackout."
Edit: should probably mention I'm nearly seven feet tall so this is a lot funnier/scarier depending on how well you know me. This is just the fastest way I've found to get people to stop asking me why I don't drink. It's meant as a joke. Cerberus63
Reddit user, Boban_the_dude, wanted to know what's better than the best climactic finish around when they asked:
What's a feeling better than an orgasm?
A physical feeling can feel just as good as an orgasm, even when it's not sexual.
Nothing like a cool drink after a hot day, is there?
A Different Kind Of "Release." Hey-oh!
"That moment near the the end of being sick where your nose suddenly clears out after being stuffy for days and you can breathe perfectly again."
CoyoteJoe412
"See also: Pulling a huge booger out of your nose and realizing that your breathing has been restricted for days."
VanGarrett
GiphyFlowery Language Aside, Drink Your Water People
"Got lost out in the wilderness a few years back, drinking fresh clean water for the first time in days was something out of this world. It’s like being on the brink of death and the suddenly life fills your body again. It happens so quick as well, from deaths door to fully recovered in minutes"
plz-dont-ban-me_
"I felt like sh-t the other day and realized around 5pm I hadn’t had any water all day. I downed 32oz in a couple minutes and instantly recovered. I felt like I drank the piss of Jesus himself"
bigboybobby6969
GiphyThe Pain Is Gone When The Pillow Comes
"When sleep finally comes and sweetly releases you from a blinding, vomit inducing migrane."
Cats_tongue
GiphyWhile we think of human interaction being better than an orgasm as only limited to the sexual experience, our social interactions might go beyond the sensation an orgasm gives without any contact whatsoever.
What's The Opposite Of Gossip?
"When you overhear people talking positively about you."
LambeauCalrissian
"I’ve experienced this. I used to work with a gay colleague and he used to tell me all the terrible things that his religious Christian mother had said/done to him. He was a close friend of mine and he didn’t realise that I was also a religious Christian until he noticed my cross necklace (I don’t talk about my religion much)."
"I overheard him talking to another colleague once and he said 'yeah.. but there are still some great Christians out there, like [me]!”."
"Seriously made my day"
throwaway47283
GiphyAll In On The Joke
"Laughing so hard your face hurts. It’s like an orgasm for your heart and soul."
Ophidia77
"that feeling when the joke is long gone and you're only laughing because your friend is laughing and they are only laughing because you are laughing and it won't stop"
LocalTurn
Giphy
And then there's these.
Yes, these ones make lots of sense.
Happy Medicine Time
"I think about "better" in terms of a huge increase in pleasure, and I can only think of one thing that has ever happened to me that was equal or better."
"Around ten years ago, I had a kidney stone, and it hurt like hell. The nurse hooked up the IV and gave me morphine, which did quite literally nothing at all to help. They didn't seem to believe that at first—I'm sure drug-seeking at the ER is a thing—but eventually, it became pretty clear that I was still in agony."
"She hit the IV with toradol. Y'all, this was the first time I'd ever experienced an IV or any strong painkiller, and I went from the worst pain of my life to complete comfort, warmth, and relaxation in seconds. I can still remember the relief."
alanpugh
GiphyYour Great Hunt Is Over
"When you close all the tabs from a very long assignment you just submitted"
Relative_Elderberry1
GiphyIs This The Truly The Best Answer?
"Everyone keeps asking this and the best answer by far is always 'farting away a stomachache'."
draegersonn
GiphyYes. Sleep.
"Waking up expecting your alarm to ring any second, then realizing it’s the middle of the night and you’ve got like 3 or 4 more hours to sleep…"
harborsareinoceans
"... and you're able to fall back asleep."
"There, I fixed it for you."
Jelly_Belly321
GiphySleep when you can, drink water when you can and suddenly the entire day can feel like one big orgasm.
This has been an odd one.
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Reddit user gageames17 asked:
"If Thor’s hammer (mjolnir) was a real weapon, who do you think would be worthy enough to wield the hammer?"
The problem is that "worthy" is such a vague and nebulous term, ya know?
It really depends on how you look at it—and we're going to be doing a lot of looking at some "interesting" candidates.
Buckle up, buttercup, because we're going in.
Starting With The Obvious
"Thor."
- saello
"I'm always disappointed when anyone else wields it. I feel like it weakens the value of Thor; it feels like a cheap comic book move."
"In my mind I like to think Thor is the only one worthy and it gives him that special allure."
- TheRavenSayeth
"You only have to be 'worthy' or pure of heart or whatever if you're going by the Marvel comics interpretation of Thor. Worthiness and being pure of heart have nothing to do with wielding the hammer in Norse mythology."
"Thor was able to wield the hammer because he had an incredible amount of strength and a magic belt that made him even stronger."
- Jaycoht
GiphySome Rando
"It would be some random dude. To be known requires you have to do some sh*tty things every now and then."
- Esoteriss
"Agreed."
"In Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the only qualified person to rule the universe is the person who doesn’t want to, and ends up being a dude in a shack. Probably the same thing here."
- Bobski72
GiphyBetty - Obviously
"Betty White would have been able to."
- [Reddit]
"Truly this is the answer I came for."
- dracona
"Me too."
- the_storm_eye
"You have to be willing to kill in order to lift it. I'm just sayin, we all saw that Snickers commercial right?"
- [Reddit]
GiphySteve
"Steve Irwin, no question."
- ThereCastle
"Yes. Correct."
"Protector of innocent animals but also, unlike most of the other good hearted but non-badass candidates presented, arguably had the biggest balls in human history."
- devilthedankdawg
"Steve Irwin was scary strong and athletic."
"I remember a clip where he just…. runs up a tree. The show doesn’t make a big deal of it, but Steve just runs up this tree and is suddenly up there like it’s no big deal!"
"Most people can’t do that."
- Deradius
"I advocate not for Steve Irwin himself, but for this one Cassowary Steve was running from in a clip I saw."
"Any animal that Steve won't f*ck with is an instant god lmao."
- Draclin
GiphyPapa
"My papa for sure ❤️"
"Just for some context as to how amazing and pure my Papa is, when he was 17 he got hit by a semi and broke every bone in his body. Like totally shattered his cranium to his pinky toe."
"He died multiple times, and somehow they brought him back. And despite that he went on to graduate high school at the age of 21, after re-learning everything. And I don’t just mean school stuff, I mean how to walk, how to talk, how to feed himself, how to go to the bathroom, everything."
"He met my grandma, and they have been married for over 50 years."
"Even though he has had multiple strokes, he’s supposed to be in a wheelchair that he absolutely refuses to use, refuses to use a walker, has to wear a leg brace, despite all of that he still sings at his church, mows the church yard for free, helps everybody he possibly can, and is just the most giving, humble, kind man in the world."
"While I am not a Christian, his faith to me is totally beautiful and inspiring. He never has a bad thing to say about anybody. And I’m pretty sure he would be worthy of Thor's hammer, 100%."
- potatoesgonna-potate
GiphyThe Other Rogers
"Mr. Rogers and Betty White... oh sh*t."
"Guys I just realized Loki is killing off the worthy."
- Magnus_40
"Funnily enough, Mr. Rogers lifted mjolnir in a comic once. I choose to believe it's canon."
- kotran1989
"Well, that’s wholesome."
- Roguewind
"I was sifting through the thread looking for this comic."
- rusnug
GiphyThe Villain Variant
"At least in the comics, Mjolnir’s definition of 'worthy' varies a good bit."
"As long as you’ve got decently good intentions and a fighting spirit, you are worthy for the most part. So there’s the obvious ones like Cap and Thor, but also some villains."
"One of the more well known examples is Dr. Doom, whose entire personality hinges on him wanting the best for the world and thinking the only way is through a maniacal dictatorship."
- lunaticboot
"Spider-Man can't wield it, and we see Spider-Man repeatedly seen as Marvels' most moral compass. Supposedly the reason is because Spidey won't kill."
"Cap and Thor have fought through wars, willing to kill to defend their ideals. Dr.Doom as well."
- tigerslices
"' 'The heart unwilling to swing the sword when needed will never have the strength to raise it in the first place' -Mjolnir"
- blexmer1
"That’s why they were surprised that Thanos could wield it, too."
"He believes he’s doing it for the survival of all species in the universe, i.e. a just cause."
- TheUncleverestDev
GiphyA Unifying Force
"Dolly Parton"
"She fought and continues to fight for equality in country music for women. She uses her money to support good causes."
"For example, when the Gaitlinburg fires displaced a bunch of families about 5 years ago, she immediately pledged an extra $1000/month to each family for as long as they were out of their homes and delivered. And when people donated to her charity, she upped the donation."
"Elvis Presley wanted to record a version of “I Will Always Love You” back in the 70s (in fact, according to Priscilla, he sang it to her as he walked her to her car after signing the divorce papers), but Dolly said no because that would have require her to give up her songwriting rights."
"Because she retained those rights, she was the one who got an insane influx of cash after Whitney Houston’s version blew up in the 90s. What did she do? Invested in the real-estate development of an historically Black neighborhood in Nashville."
"She donates books to kids through her Imagination Library. Hell when Gal Gadot, was 'helping' by organizing a singalong of “Imagine,” Dolly was writing a check to Vanderbilt University Medical School to fund the research that eventually lead to the Moderna vaccine."
"Dolly is a fighter."
- mdsnbelle
"They need to work this cameo into next season’s Loki."
" *Hands Mjolnir to Thor (in front of the Hulk?) and asks 'Is this yours honey?' then casually walks off stage left.* "
- analyticalchem
"Dolly has been a shockingly common answer to this! But then again Dolly's an all around wonderful person and the last person to criticize her got cancelled by the right and left together so... a unifying force to be sure."
- GluttonAsteroth
"She carries a hand gun, and she knows how to use it. She's got a permit for conceal carry."
"She's one person who I'd trust would fight and kill for the right reasons."
- kjbrasda·
Giphy"A Happy Little Dent"
"Bob Ross."
" 'We’re going to put a happy little dent right here.' ”
- Eledridan
" 'And here’s our enemy now. Standing beside a happy little tree. Let’s take mjolnir and just beat the devil out of him!' "
- dreagan021
"Is Bob Ross really willing to kill? Because that is one of the requirements, also please don't call me a nerd."
- ThatOnePieceOfPizza
"Bob Ross had a 20 year career in the US Air Force and was a drill sergeant. He wasn’t all quiet voices and gentle smiles his entire life."
- Ryukotaicho
"Nope."
"Dude cheated on his wife and stole the idea of the show. Wasn't all rainbows and happy trees behind the scenes on the Ross show."
"He's not worthy to wield."
- zamfire
GiphyAbsolute Unit
"When I was a kid, I had a buddy who's aunt was 6'5 and probably 250lb. Absolute unit of a woman."
"I watched her carry an old school refrigerator up the basement stairs without it touching a single step. Only person I can think of."
GiphyMoment of honesty, I had forgotten about the whole "willingness to kill" thing when I initially suggested Betty ... but you know what, I'm just going to let it stand.
I can see Betty as a killer for the right reasons... which is pretty much the whole point.
So who do you think could lift it? Sound off in the comments.
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