No one likes the weird person at the gym. Go on. Think about them. You go to your local gym and there's the one individual who's just a little off, who might be screaming at themselves in the bathroom mirror to psych themselves up, or perhaps posing for selfies a little too long in the bathroom.
Like, the entire time you're working out, there they are. Posing.
Of course, the rule goes if you can't think of the weird guy at the gym then odds are it's you. Don't be that person. Don't be these people.
Reddit user, u/ICY031, wanted to know:
No Lost Loves At The Gym
A guy at a very nice luxury gym was not just dropping his squats, he was actively throwing them up and letting them drop 4 plus feet to the safety rack causing a ridiculously loud sound and a crash.
When I asked him to stop he was extremely aggressive and rude and said he had been a member for 10 years. Management ended up kicking him out about 10 minutes later
Let's Just All Agree To Never Use The Hand Dryers Again
Old dude drying his balls in the hand dryer. A Dyson airblade. So... Straddling it right up against the wall, dipping his junk in it repeatedly. I turned around and left. And no longer use the hand dryers.
Now We All Want To Know
Was at Planet Fitness changing when an employee came in saying "woman coming to locker room, hurry up and chsnge". Well I did and as I was leaving, a female police officer with two male officers were walking in the locker room. If anyone who goes to the Watertown, MA PF and knows what happened, it be great to know. Just a weird moment.
Calories Are Calories?
Saw a girl dramatically working out, all while taking swigs from her bottle of Coke. Then an hour later, saw her scoffing a Snickers bar in the changing rooms.
Don't Cheese All The Eucalyptus Oil, Bro!
I went into the steam room and there's a guy on his phone inside there (breaking a rule and why you would do that, I don't know). I grab the eucalyptus oil and he grunts at me, as if wondering what it is. I look away eventually and he starts mumbling while staring at his phone for a few minutes, but every time I grab the eucalyptus oil, he looks up at me.
I must have gotten in right after him since I was in there for at least ten minutes until he got out. I enjoyed what was not even a minute of peace without some guy who could have been plotting to kill me for all I know when I see him go to the sauna. Yes, after the steam room, this guy goes into the other hot area in the locker room. He left a minute later and I wondered how he was able to sneak his phone in that area and what the hell he was saying into his phone.
Trying To Mix It Up
A guy was on an elliptical machine in sunglasses (it was dark) and doing what looked to me like a combination of parade choreography and possibly voguing. Also he would sometime use the machine backwards while doing this which was probably dangerous but definitely impressive
But, Why Was He Naked?
One day i was walking into the gym and then some guy butt cheek naked with a pistol asked the cashier for all of the planet fitness massage chair coins. I just stood their in shock and then he saw me and ran out the door and it turns out it was just a toy gun spray painted black. By the way the police got him 10 minuets later and it turns out he was on drugs. The world can be a weird place. ):
Getting Started On That Influencer Life Early
Not sure if this counts, but I'll share it anyway.
Every so often, I use the weight room in my high school.
One day when I step in, I notice that there's a group of sophomore boys in there. It took me a moment to realize they were walking around, dressed in full sweatpants and hoodies with the hoods up and snapback hats on underneath, posing on all of the equipment, and taking photos of themselves and each other.
I just stood there watching them make their way through each machine. It was weird. Like, organized. Like they were rotating through stations.
Then they just left, never once saying a word or looking at me. This happened every so often. They never used the equipment.
Gave me something to puzzle over while I did my workout.
Way Too Obsessed With Themselves
One time I saw a fit man with impeccable, flowing locks stare himself down in the mirror. He just kept saying "yes!" And growling a bunch. Then he went over to the stretching area and did what could only be described as jazzercise while listening to aggressive hip hop on his headphones so loud I could hear it from the squat rack. Periodically, he'd holler out grunts and hype sounds and curse words with the music. I'm pretty sure he was a lynx in a human body.
One time I'm on the bench and I hear two dudes: "you look f***ing amazing bro, you're the best looking dude in this gym." "Nah, you are bro." I turn around after a set, and they're identical twins.
There's this old guy who wears a toupee to the gym. It's hideous, like he decided when he bought his wig "I'll be ginger now!" but he's like a swarthy Mediterranean white dude. When he works out, the toupee wax that affixes it to his bald skull melts and runs down the sides of his head. He never seems to mind.
Needs To Know He Looks Good In Any Circumstance
saw a guy on a stair climber wearing sunglasses and a leather jacket
I accidentally put my number code into another lock that was beside mine, botched the last number and the lock actually opened.
The woman who was hanging out in the locker room in her underwear. She was there when I came in, and still there an hour later.
Someone told me she was probably an IG "model" doing a selfie photoshoot.
"The Weight Witch." I'd Read That Book.
The weight witch.
Lady walks in on a Saturday morning. I've never seen here there before. She was significantly overweight but had on gloves and knee braces, so I figure she's a powerlifter on a bulk. I'm warming up doing some cable internal rotations and have my headphones on, so I don't see that she sets up at the cable machine behind me. I finish my set and turn around, and I see her getting ready.
She's got a straight bar attached to the cable machine with the arm down near the ground and the bar on the floor. She half crouched/squatted in front of this thing and I'm thinking she's about to do some kind of squat, when she starts waving her hands. As in, the kind of hand waving a wizard does when he's imitating someone imitating Bob Fosse-esque jazz hands. I couldn't stop watching. She did this for at least 30 seconds before she grabs the bar to start her exercise
And when I say grab the bar, I mean pick it up with both hands, extend it until it gets resistance from the weight, and then start standing up and half squatting/crouching. She wasn't engaging any weight, she was just using the bar as something to hold in her hands as she stood up and crouched down slightly.
She did this for three "sets" and then moved to some cardio machines.
I saw her a few times after that, each time doing something equally nonsensical, and always, ALWAYS with the incantation hand motions.
I miss her and hope she found a nice coven.
Accidentally Pushing You To Do More
I was running on the treadmill and there was this scruffy guy all hunched down like 3 treadmills away and he kept loudly muttering to himself "you can do it, you got this" and making weird noises. He kept doing it for like 20 mins. At first I was like annoyed cause he was rather loud and it was weird but after about 10 minutes I distractedly started thinking to myself "I CAN do this!! I GOT this".
He was unintentionally inspiring to me.
Remember, Don't Be The Weird One
Realizing that I was stoned while attempting to run on the treadmill. Husband brought home some rice from his 'elevated' catering and I didn't see the pen-written "420" on the container. Phone call went, "We need to go... I think I'm stoned?"
See? Don't Be The Weird One.
I once went to use a leg extension machine, and smelled something nasty. Ugh, someone farted, I thought. Then went to a leg curl machine, came back, and it still stank. Then realized the smell was following me. Then, and I don't know why I did this, touched the back of my shorts and realized someone shat themselves on the machine before me, and I sat in it, then sat on another machine, then sat in poop again.
I considered telling someone on staff, but knew they'd never believe I wasn't the sh-tter, so I quickly wiped down both machines and left, trying to look as calm, normal, and innocent as possible.
Knowing Your Role In The World
Back in the early 1980s and late 1970s, I used to work out a Gold's Gym in a western Canadian city. The gym was also the favourite workout spot for professional wrestlers when they were doing a gig in town. The weirdest thing was seeing how dramatically different some of these guys were in real life compared to their wrestling personas.
One guy whose persona was of a British dock worker type would show up at the gym in a three piece suit (edit, no he didn't work out in a suit) and speaking the poshest of British accents, and was constantly giving other wrestlers investment and tax advice -- apparently he was an accountant as well.
What was surprising was that some of them weren't faking it but in real life they were as rude, selfish and ignorant as their characters. I also remember how sad was seeing how some of the older wrestlers were really suffering from dementia (probably cumulative effects of concussions) and were literally guided through everything by other wrestlers, even simple things like getting dressed. I was impressed by the care some these guys gave to their older colleagues who needed constant attention.
However, the most interesting experience was Jesse Ventura. Of course when the wrestlers showed up, they were generally followed around by a hoard of fans, usually teenage boys. Some were hostile to their fans, telling them to f*ck off, others gave a quick acknowledgment and then moved on.
However, Jesse would spend an incredible amount of time with his fans, especially the younger ones, listening and talking to all of them with total attention. I remember seeing him trying to do leg presses while taking questions from a crowd of boys about what it means to be a man.
Even back then, when he was just the heel "Jesse the Body", out of the ring he showed that he understood the impact that he could have as a role model to young men and took it seriously. When he became governor of Minnesota, I was definitely not surprised.
Sometimes you just don't have any money and you have to make it work. I learned how to make the most out of bargains at the grocery store and know how to make food that is hearty and will last more than a day or two. Beans and rice are your friends, by the way. You'd be surprised by how many delicious meals you can make with just these two basic ingredients.
Being poor requires you to be creative.
Penny pinching is an art, as we were so deftly reminded after Redditor naranja_cheese asked the online community,
"What is the most penny pinching you've ever done?"
"I used to steal..."
"I used to steal half-used rolls of tp when I was a janitor. Lived off white rice and Worcestershire sauce for months. Got a job as a cook & always saved a few scraps while plating people's food so I would have something to eat without paying for a meal. Also worked at a butcher shop& would take home bones to roast and make a stew with. I can share hundreds of things like this."
"I worked part-time..."
"I worked part-time in school, but was pretty broke. I wasn't being paid until the following day, and I needed soy sauce for my extra super tasty stir fry. I literally had negative funds in my account. So I went to the grocery store, grabbed a sushi tray, threw a ton of packets of soy sauce in my pocket (they don't charge you for these), wandered a bit, pretended I changed my mind, and left."
"While at the grocery store..."
"While at the grocery store, putting back that pack of chicken breast that cost $2.98 for the other pack of chicken breast that cost $2.95."
"Things were insanely tight..."
"Used to make my own laundry detergent during a time when we had relocated and our prior home had not sold so we had rent on top of a mortgage for 18 months. Things were insanely tight in those days, to say the least."
I definitely know what this is like.
"I took some cedar boards..."
"I had no money for Christmas gifts. I only had enough to pay rent. I took some cedar boards in the backyard, cut them, burnt them a little black as I had no money to finish them. Then I passed them off as cutting boards."
"One Friday night..."
"One Friday night in college, my two buddies and I had a grand total of $3 to our names. I bought a box of Mac 'n Cheese, a can(!) of escargot, and three Lil' Debbie Star Crunches. We had a full meal with starch, protein, and dessert."
"I lived on pasta..."
"When I was at university my entire budget was less than £40 a week. I lived on pasta and stolen sauce packets from the Students Union. The cafeteria ladies would always take pity on me at closing time and give me free burgers."
"I lost my job..."
"I lost my job and lived in a $1400/month apartment where electricity (which included heat) and internet were ludicrously expensive. $400-450 a month in the winter because the building was an old mill with huge windows and no insulation. Fortunately, gas and water were free."
"I only turned on my lights when I had to, turned off the heat entirely, and heated my apartment by boiling a huge pot of water on the gas stove 24 hours a day and going to the business center to use the free DSL connection to apply for jobs. I ate rice with frozen vegetables and spices for three months."
"It sucked, but I got by."
Hopefully things are much better now.
"If I ate fast food..."
"If I ate fast food or takeout food, I would ask for extra sauce packets or garnishes that they give out for free. I would stock up on them, use them when I cook instead of buying the stuff from the store. For example, a $1 box of pasta, a clove of garlic, and 2-3 ramekins of parm cheese, half ramekin of chili flakes, and a pinch of Italian herbs I got from a pizza place makes a quick meal."
"My local mall..."
"My local mall used to do paid surveys, you'd watch a video or try some new soda or whatever and they'd give you a couple of dollars. Then I'd use that to buy a meal."
Sometimes you've just gotta do what you've gotta do. It's not easy.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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Now, this isn't going to be a long, "Let's all pile on how bad the internet is and only think about the good ol' days when the rocks were soft and we could only communicate using cans with string."
People old enough to remember life pre-Internet, what are some less obvious things you miss about that time?
Many habits we used to possess were made completely irrelevant thanks to the internet. Not that we didn't enjoy doing them, we just started asking ourselves, "What's the point?"
Completely Devoid Of Technological Interference
"Leaving home and just being gone for the day. No cell phones. If there were cameras, it was really different. You used them to take pictures of things or had people take pictures of you. But there was no social media to preoccupy your mind. It was just doing something. And whoever you were with, was who you were with."
No One Needs 24 Hours Of Nonsense
"News only being on at 6pm. That was it. Now we have 6 hours of local news and 24 hours of cable news. Not being bombarded all day with "news." And when you saw "Breaking News" on the screen you knew something serious went down."
You Mean We Actually Have To Go?
"It used to be a lot harder to bail on things. You'd have to call the person at home and tell them yourself, or at least leave a message if you wanted to be risky. Typically if you were gonna bail you'd give at least 24 hours notice. Nowadays people can let you know they're bailing last second since you're always reachable."
"RSVPing mattered. If you said you were going to be there, you made sure to be there. None of this facebook invites that everyone blows off without any form of social repercussions. If you said you were going to go and didn't go, you were the a--hole and everyone knew it."
You can get almost anything on the internet. Almost. Still no sign of real working Lightsabers anywhere out there, but the internet has eliminated many of our purchasing practices.
Just In Time For The Holidays!
"The Sears catalog. That was how I found out about all the cool new toys."
"Catalogs in general, for me. Before the internet made mindless browsing of stuff you didn't need ~really~ easy to do, we still liked doing this without having to drive to the mall. The solution? Sign your mom up for those cool seed catalogs, those not safe to browse at the office gag gift catalogs and then everything in between. That stuff was really nice to have when you grew up somewhere that was not even cable ready."
1 Good Song Out Of 15
"When you bought new music you just had to hope it was good. The single might be popular but otherwise unless someone had it you just bought it and hoped for the best."
"There was so much excitement to going to a cd store to buy an album that you only knew one song of or the band/artist name and just listening to that entire cd over and over again picking out which tracks were your favorite while still learning every lyric to all the songs on the album.
Building a cd collection was also fun."
Talk About The "Immediate Gratification" Generation, Huh?
"The instant win bottle caps / candy / chocolate bar wrappers where you could turn them back into the store and immediately get a free one. Now it's just codes you have to register on their website so they can get your info, i don't even bother anymore."
Finally, there's these activities, to difficult to explain to anyone who wasn't there. How do you get someone to understand that not having a supercomputer in your pocket at all hours of the day radically changed your life?
Keeping It In Front Of You
"I miss having an attention span of more than three seconds"
"It's so weird. I can only vaguely remember what it feels like to not have a smartphone and to be alone and think.
Wondering what my friends are doing and if they'd like to do something on the weekend. We'd have to talk during lunch break at school and plan it...
Trying to find the answer to a math problem... Having to figure it out by re-reading the problem and explanations 5 times."
There Used To Be A Time When You Couldn't Play Everything
"Not being overwhelmed by choice.
Don't get me wrong, having nearly every form of media downloadable is great, but back in the day, i rented a video game and i played that video game as much as i could.
Now, its hard to give it more than 2 seconds before i try one of the 20,000 games i have access to.
New game plus used to be cool. Now, I'm happy if just beat the game"
Floundering. Just A Little.
"My formative years were the 1980s. I remember like yesterday going to study in Paris my junior year of college. I got off the plane with no cell phone, no internet, a Let's Go Paris book, and just a hostel address written on a piece of paper I'd stuck in a French dictionary. I did not know a single person in all of France.
I had $500 of cash stuck in a money belt. The belt was tight and sweaty but that money had to last me for at least a month until I could find a part-time job with my lousy French. My "credit card" was my father's credit card numbers written down on a piece of paper. He told me I could only use it to buy a plane ticket home in an emergency.
I remember standing in the airport and having this powerful emotion of being 21 years old, scared sh-tless, but in absolutely completely control of my own destiny. There was absolutely nobody who could come rushing to my aid if I needed it. I was 100% on my own.
I'm actually very thankful for that experience. I found the hostel. I found a job. I made friends. I learned French. I made it all on my own which was just a big boost in life confidence.
I have no doubt if I'd had a cell phone I would've called my parents on Day 2, told them it was too hard, and been on the next plane home. But I had no other choice but to succeed."
We can never go back. Not really, anyway. The only way is to keep going forward, be aware of the effect the internet has on us, and do our best to not let it take away the things that really matter in our lives.
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Look, unless you enjoy cooking, no one likes spending time in the kitchen longer than they have to in order to whip up something mediocre to eat.
Ordering food or, for the time being, enjoying a socially distanced lunch at an establishment is convenient, but it can take a toll on your wallet.
So what options are there?
Fortunately, there are plenty of them that do not involve nuking a frozen entree.
"What's your go-to under 5 minute meal?"
These dinner selections are super sufficient.
A Loaded Course
"Two hotdogs and a side of judgement from my fiancé"
In Case You Didn't Know
"Quesadilla. super quick and easy to make and there's a ton of ingredients that you can add without much effort that will make it even better."
"Ramen and an egg, but not the traditional way."
- "Boil roughly half an inch of water (we want just enough water to boil the noodles, with very little water left over when it's done boiling)."
- "Smash up the ramen noodles, while still in the package (optional but cooks MUCH faster)."
- "Open the package and remove the seasoning."
- "Dump the noodles in."
- "While boiling, crack an egg and whisk in a small bowl."
- "Noodles should be done and almost all the water should be gone, if not strain out some.
- Remove from the heat."
- "Slowly pour in the egg while mixing very quickly, try not to let the egg touch the pan."
- "Mix as much of the seasoning packet as you like (I prefer 1/2 - 3/4 because I usually add a salty component at the end.)"
- "Add to bowl and top with some chives, thinly sliced, ripped up ham/salami and/or parsley. Leftover bacon or pancetta are fantastic crunchy components to dial up the texture."
"Easy, fast and checks so many of the 'munchie' boxes for me."
Don't Underestimate Soups
"Tomato soup and add tortellini. I like the spinach ones from Trader Joe's and Progreso creamy tomato with basil. It's bomb and it really makes a decent meal."
For people in a rush, these tasty snacks would suffice.
Goes Well With Veggies And Cheese
"Hummus is such an underrated food. It goes well with a lot of veggies and breads and chips or heck even cheese. All the time I hear hummus being listed as one of those weird, gross foods when its actually an amazing snack, or a meal if done correctly. It's not really unhealthy, either, especially if eaten with veggies (celery and carrots go great with hummus)."
Ready In Seconds
"All I do is get a paper towel, and put 5 Oreos on it."
"Then go back and get the whole package."
Peanut Butter Fantasies
"Peanut butter sandwich."
"If I'm feeling extra froggy I'll add nutella to the peanut butter and honey sandwich and put it in the microwave for 30 seconds. Goes down about as well as a popeye's biscuit though."
"It's like cheating the system. You eat sweets and call it healthy."
Start your day without all the hassle of a fancy breakfast.
Put It In A Bowl
"Oatmeal or cereal."
"Cereal is definitely underrated as a meal outside of the breakfast dynamic."
"A very simple recipe my grandma prepared for me when i was a kid."
"It's basically scrambled eggs...but before adding the egg she would cook sweetcorn (from a can) with a little bit of butter, add the eggs and then when the eggs were almost ready, add small cubes of cheese and cook for a minute or until the cheese start to melt (she was using fontal, but any swiss or white cheddar will do). Just a little black pepper and salt."
"Takes 5 minutes to do but it's absolutely delicious, fill you up, not so unhealthy and I feel my late grandma with me."
'I tried variations with chives or spring onions, paprika or other stuff. Still good but nothing as good as a simple "uova strapazzate con mais e formaggio.'"
I consider yogurt a healthy snack/lunch option.
I like having a bowl of non-fat plain Greek yogurt with raspberries, blueberries, sprinkled with granola and drizzled with honey.
It's packed with nutrients and gives me a nice boost of energy.
Yogurt also makes for a perfect chip dip. I sprinkle some onion soup mix and stir in the mixture. Who knew quick and easy food prep could be so delicious?
We all like to assume that a big old scar has an amazing, hardcore story behind it: maybe a valiant fight or some life threatening-escape.
But despite what Hollywood would have us think, that is so rarely the case.
Usually, some kind of bizarre accident leaves us with the biggest scar of our life. There's no action movie story behind it, just a careful mixture of foolishness and bad luck.
Clearly not put off by some gruesome anecdotes, Redditor fluffybear45 asked:
"People with scars, how did you get them?"
For many, it was the wild antics of childhood that left them slightly maimed. With many years now separating the Redditor from the event, these were pretty hilarious.
Out of Nowhere!
"I was playing on a swing and then my leg got stuck in barbed wire." -- Soviet_God-Emperor
"I feel like we missed a couple steps here, or your local park had some serious issues." -- Henfrid
"Yo that went from 0 to 100 real fast" -- IHaveButt
"2nd grade, defective slip-n-slide." -- AdmiralAkbar1
"I'm pretty sure the general design of the slip'n'slide was defective. Those stakes weren't covered originally, so you had to be straight down the middle of the slide or else....." -- Q-burt
"Could you refer to this incident in a gravely voice while staring into the middle distance, pausing only to shudder and sip your scotch?" -- CaptValentine
That's Why You Need an Axe Yard
"My dad hit me with an axe (bladed side) in the face. Stupid 10 yo me just had to look over his shoulder while he was hammering in herrings for our tent."
Others talked about freak accidents that came not from the stupidity of childhood, but the bad luck of mistakes made as an adult.
Bad Conditions for Practice
"Dad gave me a folding knife for Christmas"
"I read online that you could flick it open with one hand"
"So I practiced it, after my hands were greasy from eating a burger"
Take Your Pick
"Multiple long scars on my back are from falling onto a old soviet steel welcome mat ( i dont know how to describe it in english but its meant to wipe dirt of your shoes with triangle shaped steel beams."
"Medium sized one on my forearm is from a barbed wire fence, another one next to it is from a motorcycle accident and one on the base on my thumb is from a cars hood slipping and cutting me."
One Heck Of a Fall
" 'This one is from a skateboard, this one was a truck accident, and this one was a fire hydrant.' "
" 'Oh really? I bet each one has a very unique story.' "
" 'Not really, I skateboarded off of a truck into a fire hydrant.' "
Last, some people talked about the medical procedures that left them with the big gash. These stories had some ninth grade words and not nearly as much stupidity.
"A rare auto immune disorder called pyoderma gangrenosum twice... Don't google If you don't like gore... I had to have daily wound care and high doses of medical steroids"
"My intestines telescoped on themselves 8" scar on my belly." -- Anom8675309
"I never wanted to see the words 'intestines' and 'telescoped' together. Ouch." -- LadySygerrik
"I was born 2 months premature. I wasn't born with an esophagus so drs. cut my stomach open and used parts of my colon or intestines and created a new one for me. I have a huge scar on my neck and my stomach is one big scar. Also had a stomach feeding tube for quite a bit and heart surgery at 2 days old."
"I love science. I wouldn't have experienced life if it hadn't been for advances in medical science."
So if you've been sitting on an embarrassing backstory for one of your scars, feel free to share. You're hardly alone.
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