No one likes the weird person at the gym. Go on. Think about them. You go to your local gym and there's the one individual who's just a little off, who might be screaming at themselves in the bathroom mirror to psych themselves up, or perhaps posing for selfies a little too long in the bathroom.
Like, the entire time you're working out, there they are. Posing.
Of course, the rule goes if you can't think of the weird guy at the gym then odds are it's you. Don't be that person. Don't be these people.
Reddit user, u/ICY031, wanted to know:
No Lost Loves At The Gym
A guy at a very nice luxury gym was not just dropping his squats, he was actively throwing them up and letting them drop 4 plus feet to the safety rack causing a ridiculously loud sound and a crash.
When I asked him to stop he was extremely aggressive and rude and said he had been a member for 10 years. Management ended up kicking him out about 10 minutes later
Let's Just All Agree To Never Use The Hand Dryers Again
Old dude drying his balls in the hand dryer. A Dyson airblade. So... Straddling it right up against the wall, dipping his junk in it repeatedly. I turned around and left. And no longer use the hand dryers.
Now We All Want To Know
Was at Planet Fitness changing when an employee came in saying "woman coming to locker room, hurry up and chsnge". Well I did and as I was leaving, a female police officer with two male officers were walking in the locker room. If anyone who goes to the Watertown, MA PF and knows what happened, it be great to know. Just a weird moment.
Calories Are Calories?
Saw a girl dramatically working out, all while taking swigs from her bottle of Coke. Then an hour later, saw her scoffing a Snickers bar in the changing rooms.
Don't Cheese All The Eucalyptus Oil, Bro!
I went into the steam room and there's a guy on his phone inside there (breaking a rule and why you would do that, I don't know). I grab the eucalyptus oil and he grunts at me, as if wondering what it is. I look away eventually and he starts mumbling while staring at his phone for a few minutes, but every time I grab the eucalyptus oil, he looks up at me.
I must have gotten in right after him since I was in there for at least ten minutes until he got out. I enjoyed what was not even a minute of peace without some guy who could have been plotting to kill me for all I know when I see him go to the sauna. Yes, after the steam room, this guy goes into the other hot area in the locker room. He left a minute later and I wondered how he was able to sneak his phone in that area and what the hell he was saying into his phone.
Trying To Mix It Up
A guy was on an elliptical machine in sunglasses (it was dark) and doing what looked to me like a combination of parade choreography and possibly voguing. Also he would sometime use the machine backwards while doing this which was probably dangerous but definitely impressive
But, Why Was He Naked?
One day i was walking into the gym and then some guy butt cheek naked with a pistol asked the cashier for all of the planet fitness massage chair coins. I just stood their in shock and then he saw me and ran out the door and it turns out it was just a toy gun spray painted black. By the way the police got him 10 minuets later and it turns out he was on drugs. The world can be a weird place. ):
Getting Started On That Influencer Life Early
Not sure if this counts, but I'll share it anyway.
Every so often, I use the weight room in my high school.
One day when I step in, I notice that there's a group of sophomore boys in there. It took me a moment to realize they were walking around, dressed in full sweatpants and hoodies with the hoods up and snapback hats on underneath, posing on all of the equipment, and taking photos of themselves and each other.
I just stood there watching them make their way through each machine. It was weird. Like, organized. Like they were rotating through stations.
Then they just left, never once saying a word or looking at me. This happened every so often. They never used the equipment.
Gave me something to puzzle over while I did my workout.
Way Too Obsessed With Themselves
One time I saw a fit man with impeccable, flowing locks stare himself down in the mirror. He just kept saying "yes!" And growling a bunch. Then he went over to the stretching area and did what could only be described as jazzercise while listening to aggressive hip hop on his headphones so loud I could hear it from the squat rack. Periodically, he'd holler out grunts and hype sounds and curse words with the music. I'm pretty sure he was a lynx in a human body.
One time I'm on the bench and I hear two dudes: "you look f***ing amazing bro, you're the best looking dude in this gym." "Nah, you are bro." I turn around after a set, and they're identical twins.
There's this old guy who wears a toupee to the gym. It's hideous, like he decided when he bought his wig "I'll be ginger now!" but he's like a swarthy Mediterranean white dude. When he works out, the toupee wax that affixes it to his bald skull melts and runs down the sides of his head. He never seems to mind.
Needs To Know He Looks Good In Any Circumstance
saw a guy on a stair climber wearing sunglasses and a leather jacket
I accidentally put my number code into another lock that was beside mine, botched the last number and the lock actually opened.
The woman who was hanging out in the locker room in her underwear. She was there when I came in, and still there an hour later.
Someone told me she was probably an IG "model" doing a selfie photoshoot.
"The Weight Witch." I'd Read That Book.
The weight witch.
Lady walks in on a Saturday morning. I've never seen here there before. She was significantly overweight but had on gloves and knee braces, so I figure she's a powerlifter on a bulk. I'm warming up doing some cable internal rotations and have my headphones on, so I don't see that she sets up at the cable machine behind me. I finish my set and turn around, and I see her getting ready.
She's got a straight bar attached to the cable machine with the arm down near the ground and the bar on the floor. She half crouched/squatted in front of this thing and I'm thinking she's about to do some kind of squat, when she starts waving her hands. As in, the kind of hand waving a wizard does when he's imitating someone imitating Bob Fosse-esque jazz hands. I couldn't stop watching. She did this for at least 30 seconds before she grabs the bar to start her exercise
And when I say grab the bar, I mean pick it up with both hands, extend it until it gets resistance from the weight, and then start standing up and half squatting/crouching. She wasn't engaging any weight, she was just using the bar as something to hold in her hands as she stood up and crouched down slightly.
She did this for three "sets" and then moved to some cardio machines.
I saw her a few times after that, each time doing something equally nonsensical, and always, ALWAYS with the incantation hand motions.
I miss her and hope she found a nice coven.
Accidentally Pushing You To Do More
I was running on the treadmill and there was this scruffy guy all hunched down like 3 treadmills away and he kept loudly muttering to himself "you can do it, you got this" and making weird noises. He kept doing it for like 20 mins. At first I was like annoyed cause he was rather loud and it was weird but after about 10 minutes I distractedly started thinking to myself "I CAN do this!! I GOT this".
He was unintentionally inspiring to me.
Remember, Don't Be The Weird One
Realizing that I was stoned while attempting to run on the treadmill. Husband brought home some rice from his 'elevated' catering and I didn't see the pen-written "420" on the container. Phone call went, "We need to go... I think I'm stoned?"
See? Don't Be The Weird One.
I once went to use a leg extension machine, and smelled something nasty. Ugh, someone farted, I thought. Then went to a leg curl machine, came back, and it still stank. Then realized the smell was following me. Then, and I don't know why I did this, touched the back of my shorts and realized someone shat themselves on the machine before me, and I sat in it, then sat on another machine, then sat in poop again.
I considered telling someone on staff, but knew they'd never believe I wasn't the sh-tter, so I quickly wiped down both machines and left, trying to look as calm, normal, and innocent as possible.
Knowing Your Role In The World
Back in the early 1980s and late 1970s, I used to work out a Gold's Gym in a western Canadian city. The gym was also the favourite workout spot for professional wrestlers when they were doing a gig in town. The weirdest thing was seeing how dramatically different some of these guys were in real life compared to their wrestling personas.
One guy whose persona was of a British dock worker type would show up at the gym in a three piece suit (edit, no he didn't work out in a suit) and speaking the poshest of British accents, and was constantly giving other wrestlers investment and tax advice -- apparently he was an accountant as well.
What was surprising was that some of them weren't faking it but in real life they were as rude, selfish and ignorant as their characters. I also remember how sad was seeing how some of the older wrestlers were really suffering from dementia (probably cumulative effects of concussions) and were literally guided through everything by other wrestlers, even simple things like getting dressed. I was impressed by the care some these guys gave to their older colleagues who needed constant attention.
However, the most interesting experience was Jesse Ventura. Of course when the wrestlers showed up, they were generally followed around by a hoard of fans, usually teenage boys. Some were hostile to their fans, telling them to f*ck off, others gave a quick acknowledgment and then moved on.
However, Jesse would spend an incredible amount of time with his fans, especially the younger ones, listening and talking to all of them with total attention. I remember seeing him trying to do leg presses while taking questions from a crowd of boys about what it means to be a man.
Even back then, when he was just the heel "Jesse the Body", out of the ring he showed that he understood the impact that he could have as a role model to young men and took it seriously. When he became governor of Minnesota, I was definitely not surprised.