With the plethora of dating apps these days, you'd think it would be easier to find the perfect someone, or just anyone who isn't a complete basket-case. How many times have you met the man or woman of you dreams until they blindsided you with something so insane that it had you sprinting for the door? It's enough to make you want to stay single and stay clear of the chaos and confusion of the dating world.
u/Hammer-905 asks Reddit:
Dodged A Bullet With That One
I was having an amazing time talking to a guy I'd just met on tinder. He was sweet, funny, and lived about 5 minutes from me. He asked me out on a date, and I was ecstatic. The day comes, and he offers to come pick me up. I politely decline, and I decided to be honest with him and say I wasn't totally comfortable being picked up by someone I hadn't met quite yet, and that I'd rather meet him there myself. He seemed nice enough to take it well, I even told him it was based on a prior bad experience.
He f*cking freaked
I have never been called more names/things in my entire life. Distrusting, rude, nasty, ungrateful, the list went on. I didn't even fight him. Dude literally tried to evaluate my entire psyche, ranting and "explaining" what was wrong with me for not allowing him to pick me up, then blocked me. I've never seen someone take such a hard left turn into crazy town in my life.
Drunk In The Trunk
Went to a party with a guy. When I got there, he basically ignored me and flirted with some other chick most of the night. Later at night, they followed me to my car when I was getting something out of my trunk for the party. Guy shoves and locks me in my own goddam car trunk once I opened it. Can't find the latch, super drunk and terrified. He's laughing hysterically outside the car, trying to use it as flirting fodder with the now horrified other girl. She's not a psychopath like him and helped me call someone with spare keys... I got out eventually, super embarrassing though.
I dated a 22 year old who took her teeth out to eat an ice cream. Totally didn't see that coming and tried to make her feel comfortable.
I didn't keep seeing her for other reasons, but yes, I experienced the missing teeth that night.
Why You So Obsessed With Me
In college, my roommate and I moved a mutual friend into our place because his roommate had some mental health issues and was stalking him, and doing some really messed up stuff (like threatening to hurt himself unless friend hung out with him). I never met nor saw the roommate.
About a month later, I get asked out by this random guy on a dating website and it seemed fine, so we go out for pizza. As the date unfurls, it slowly becomes more and more awkward as the guy asks about my living situation, friends...roommates. The whole thing just feels awkward. We say our goodbyes and I go home, to tell my roommate about it...and then the lightbulb goes off - it was the stalker guy, trying to get info about him. There's actually a fair bit more to this story, but that's the basic scenario.
Edit: So, I had a couple of requests for additional details. To clarify, all of the characters in this story are guys (I'm gay, stalker is also, roommate/stalkee are straight). I'll parse them in as they happened:
-Probably part of the reason stalker got so infatuated with stalkee is that he was the first person stalker came out of the closet to him and he reacted well (as stalker came from a very Catholic family). This was all about 15 years ago and attitudes towards LGBT people still weren't great, particularly in the red state in which we all lived.
-The night we moved him in to our house (under cover of darkness while stalker was away), the stalker had called him and told us he was attempting to commit suicide as a result...very slowly, by drinking salt water until he died of dehydration. Prior to that, stalker had spent a few hours driving around town trying to find stalkee's car. We were able to get some professional help for him that night.
-I have no idea how the guy found me, but sexuality probably plays a role - I'm a gay guy in a fairly small town and stalker knew that he had gay friends, so going through the online dating profiles/Facebook/Myspace at the time was probably not too hard for him.
-Stalker ended up harassing my friend a few more times over the years, showing up at his work to drop off important personal effects he had left behind during the move (e.g., a clothes hanger).
-Stalker showed up in my life a few times since then, too. A couple of years later, I was working for the college and he was running for a minor local political office. His political statement/declaration had him listed as a Ph.d. student in the department in which I worked (a fairly well-known program nationally)..except, not only was he not a Ph.d. student with us, he (a) never completed his bachelor's degree and (b) was not enrolled as a student for several years. So you can imagine my surprise when one of our staff was like, "Who the hell is Stalker and why does he say he's in our program?" I do think this was just a coincidence, though.
Is Age Just A Number?
Met a guy while walking to work. It was dark out but not in a creepy way. We run into each other a few times and I ask him out. We go for dinner and he tells me about his work history, says he did something in construction for 15 years. I am 20 when this happened. Turned out we were both really bad at guessing age and he was in his forties and thought I was was in my late 20s. Luckily he could tell I was weirded out by it and didn't contact me after.
He sounds like a good guy. An age gap like that is just too large (in my opinion), and it is good of him that he respects you enough to leave you alone. Hopefully you can still greet him when you come across him during your walks, as the event is not something to be ashamed of for either parties.
Too Weird Too Bear
Went to a girl's house to meet her parents and they sit a teddy bear at the table, gave it food and drink.
She was the youngest in the house at 23 and the bear was such a recognized member of the family it had a Facebook page.
This will probably be buried but the weirdest part is when they would do voices for the bear and make me speak with it.
Edit: Family also hated me as they were super religious and i was born out of wedlock.
Only In Brooklyn...
Was casually dating a girl for 3 months or so, she suggests we watch some porn together - ok cool. So she puts a dvd on (this is 2008) and the second scene was HER. Totally unexpected. Was cool but I found it sort of an odd way to tell someone that.
She ended up beating me with a clothing rack pole while i was on mushrooms a few months later after going thru my cell phone and seeing other girls, even tho we weren't exclusive. Man, Brooklyn was a fun place.
It Wasn't A Joke
I took a girl out on our first date. I guess she was trying to impress me because she rattled off the list of guys whose virginity she's taken. Spoken in a way suggestive that, if I played my cards right, something good may happen to me. I was not interested nor impressed.
Similar thing happened to me too. a girl I just met started telling me about taking virginity from a guy and laughed about how can someone be a virgin at that age (22). I was 23 at the time and yeah, still a virgin due to messed up past that made and still makes me feel unsafe in sexual situations. Then she told me that her last date left when she left to the bathroom and she wanted to make sure that I will still be here when she comes back from the toilet. I told her that I won't, she took it as a joke. It wasn't a joke.
COPS Marathon And Chill
Might seem minor or silly but the first time my girlfriend didn't want to go bar hopping on a Friday she asked me if I was cool just coming over, drinking Miller Lite, and watching a Cops marathon. She specifically said it was a tased and confused special.
I never thought I'd hear a girl say that. We've been married for two years now.
Before Netflix and Chill, it was COPS marathon and Chill.
What Are The Chances?
On my first date with my current fiance, he told me that he has two older sisters that are both married to guys named Cody. guess what my name is?
It's Cody. So three siblings (2 girls and 1 boy) are all going to be married to men named Cody.
Why Can't I Date Anyone Normal?
So many great ones! I'll do this one since it has a few of those moments in them. I went out with this woman. She's really cool. Great first date, a lot in common, great connection. I reach out for a second date. I hear nothing from her.
Three months go by, I get a text from her out of the blue. She had to have a sudden surgery, so she didn't reach back because of that. We go out, we're still great. Third date, I'm stoked. I figure I'll impress her with one of these Academy films that's getting a lot of praise. Something called The Revenant. Whoops. Figured out what that was in the theater. Did not expect it to be so violent and graphic. And she was super squeamish about watching that stuff.
So we recover at a restaurant and we talk a little. At one point, we're making small talk and talking about our flaws. I say sometimes I feel like I can be a little selfish. I watched her starry eyes go cold and dead to me as I shattered all of her illusions of me. Her responses get quick and she gets quiet. I know exactly what's up. She lost interest instantly.
She gives me a ride back to my car and she just starts trying to figure out what's wrong with her for dating people like me. "Is it because you're an actor?" Then she sinks her head into her hands and says loudly for the quiet person she was, "why can't I date anyone normal!" Well, didn't see that coming. It was hilarious, but I didn't feel like it would be best to laugh there. So I politely ended the date and suggested that maybe we weren't as compatible as we thought. She reached out the next day to apologize and see if I wanted to give it another try. I replied, "Yeah, sure." I never heard back from her, as I now see that the way I phrased that has two interpretations.
So Much For Monogamy...
Coworker had a huge crush on me. Got my MSN messenger account (this was years ago) from another coworker. He started talking to me back and forth for maybe 2 weeks, and then asked me out on a date. That workplace actually encouraged in-office dating, it was in China so whatever. We went on four dates, each of them great, and then he confessed...he already had a girlfriend.
You know the saying: it's easier to get a job when you already have a job.
The Line Between Kink And Kidnapping
Met a girl online. We chatted a lot and she seemed like perfect girlfriend material. We had arranged to meet up a few times, but due to her/my work we always had to cancel. After a few weeks of chatting on a daily basis, she suddenly, out of nowhere, tells me how she fantasizes about locking me in her basement. Not kinky lock me in the basement...rather tie me to a chair and keep me there as her prisoner indefinitely, so she can do to me what she wants when she wants. She would also be in charge of feeding me and cleaning up after me. She spared no details about her plan. I honestly dont think she was joking and i cut contact with her shortly after that conversation.
You turned down free housing and food?
A Switch Flipped
Started dating a girl and she seemed nice but I wasn't sure she was into me. A few months in and she starts talking about future plans and marriage. I was happy as I was on board with that but it just seemed like some switch had been flipped. I had passed whatever tests needed to be done. I had made it. Skip to now, We're engaged and all is good. It was a strange transition though from "Hey I like this girl but I wonder how she feels?" To "Whoah! She's totally on board!" In a day or so.
Be careful friend. i just got out of a situation where it was "I love you see you tomorrow" to "We cant be together anymore" in a day or so.
Forget A Priest, This Guy Is A Saint
TL;DR date basically gets alcohol poisoning and turns into the exorcist
I was dating this girl for a few weeks, we had a lot in common and she was a biology major. She asked me one night if I wanted to go to a party with her, I agreed of course. We get there and she starts drinking alcohol like its water. Being cautious, I made sure to only have one beer per hour. I lost her for awhile and when I started looking for her, I found her in a room making out hardcore with this guy.
I was shocked at first, I asked if she was okay and she was drunk beyond comprehension. The dude told me to piss off, so I shouted "This asshole is trying to assault my girlfriend!" Which turned a bunch of heads and people started yelling at the guy to get off of her.
In my mind I was like "leave her, she isn't interested in you." but she was so drunk she was passing out in the hallway. So I fireman carried her out of there and drove her back to my house. Her cousins were with her too and I had to drop them off. The whole time they were just laughing and taking pictures of her while she was blacked out. I felt so bad.
My roommates helped me carry her to my room and I started sitting her up and making her drink water. She started kissing me and saying thank you, then she shouted "I'm coming!" and pissed ALL over my bed.
I stripped her of her soiled clothes, carried her to the bathroom, and made her take a bath. It made her nauseous (which is what I intended) and I helped her puke into a trash can. Once she was (as clean as I could get her I guess?) out of the tub, I removed all the bedding and laid her down. I told her I'd be right back I have to wash this. When I came back she some how managed to fall from the bed to the floor, puked all over the bed, the floor, and underneath my bed?
It was worse than having a puppy. I cleaned up more bodily fluids and begged the universe to please please hope she didn't start sh!tting everywhere. I then carried her again to the futon out in the living room where I finished the night by sitting and watching her to make sure she didn't choke on her puke in her sleep or hurt herself further.
We dated for almost a year, this isn't even the worst part of it.
We aren't perfect. There's plenty of things in our pasts that we look back and cringe at.
That being said, sometimes those cringe moments go far past cringe. Sometimes they get to the point of no return awfulness because that's where our human nature took us in this moment.
He's Not Dead<p>When I was 17 my brother walked into a room where I was lying down on my back and stamped on my chest. </p><p>I saw red and stood up and punched him square in the face, unfortunately this was in a doorway in front of a staircase, which he fell down backwards and when he hit the wall at the bottom folded up in such a way I thought I'd killed him. </p><p>He didn't move for what seemed like forever and I was certain he was dead, the world just spinning out around me. </p><p>He wasn't dead, obviously, but knocked out briefly and he never laid a finger on me again, after being the kind of nasty bully who had spent much of my childhood just randomly beating on me for his own enjoyment.</p><p>Those were the longest seconds of my life.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MrSpindles/" target="_blank">MrSpindles</a></p>
Complete And Total Taking Over<p>I don't know about "haunts" but it makes me cringe. In public school we had this thing in our school called 'Jumpstart for Kids' where you'd go around, often door to door, collecting money for this charity once a year. </p><p>Anyway I was 12 and I liked a boy in highschool and he convinced me to take the envelope and go door to door and collect money... to give to him so he could buy a drum set. </p><p>I walked around collecting from all these sweet people who told me I was so nice for collecting money for underprivileged kids. Fortunately I got caught and my parents made me donate it instead. So embarrassing.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/heather-rch/" target="_blank">heather-rch</a></p>
Scene Of The Crime<p>Provincial Park, pay shower, 12 years old, line-up to get in. Towards the end of my turn in the shower, get the urge to poop. Cannot hold it. Using a sock to smoosh the last of it down the drain, water turns off. Out of quarters. Put a towel over my head, run out of there past the line-up.</p><p> Get back to the camp site, immediately change clothes, shoes, hairstyle, put on a ball cap. Work up the courage to go by the area later on, it is all cordoned off. Hear people angrily discussing how someone took a dump in the shower.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/eskerhobolo/" target="_blank">eskerhobolo</a></p>
When Bullying A Bully Isn't Worth It<p>We had a camper in this large campground at a lake when I was growing up. Tons of families with kids riding bicycles and golf carts up and down the gravel roads through the property. </p><p>There was this one kid that was a few years older than me (I was 10, he was probably 12 or so) who's dad was the security guard and they lived on site and he was the biggest punk in the park. He'd try and wrestle you in the pool, throw rocks at you as you were fishing, ride off on your bike if you left it laying around, bully and hit smaller kids, even girls. </p><p>I was driving the golf cart down a pretty steep, gravel hill one day when I came up on him on his bike, going the same way as me. He never turned around to acknowledge I was there so I got up just to the side of him and turned HARD right into him. We were both going probably 10-15 miles an hour down this hill. </p><p>He took a nasty spill and rolled off the side of the road and wasn't moving. I kept on going, acting like nothing happened. We were completely isolated so no one saw me. I remember him getting taken away in an ambulance and hearing that he'd been hurt pretty bad.</p><p> I immediately felt remorse for what I'd done but never said a word to anyone. He or anyone else never had any idea I did it either. I look back now and think about how much of a financial strain I put on that family, seeing as how they were already living in a camper. That was a really REALLY evil thing I did and it still crosses my mind quite often.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/harp9r/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">harp9r</a></p>
Not Hurting<p>So you know the carnival horses you can sit on outside of grocery stores (back in the 90's). Well I wanted to ride one and this sweet old woman tried to help me get on, slipped, and really really hurt herself falling into the ride. I just remember hearing her scream and I got scared and ran away.<br></p><p>I'm 31 years old and think about that day at least once a week.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/packhawk2689/" target="_blank">packhawk2689</a></p>
Gotta Get Up, Gotta Get Out<p>Easy. When I was 5, I burned my house down.</p><p>We were living in a small home, me, my sister, mom, dad. I was supposed to be in the bed, but I wanted a toy or <em>something</em> that was under my bed, and I didn't want to wake my parents by turning on my light... soooo I grabbed my dad's cigarette lighter and light the flame under my bed. Needless to say it went up like a match. </p><p>My dad tried to stomp the fire out after I started screaming fire, burning his leg horribly. My room and the source of the fire was blocking EVERY other bedroom from escape, so everyone had to jump out of a window. Funnily enough, I don't remember the world-class a** whipping I must have received for that. I just cringe at the thought that I almost killed all of us being a dumb kid.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Paradigm_Pizza/" target="_blank">Paradigm_Pizza</a></p>
Escape<p>I was married to an insanely abusive man. After two years I escaped and he killed himself shortly after. Not sure if it was him avoiding charges, or avoiding his deployment but his family decided it was 100% my fault. They told the police I gave him the gun and encouraged him. </p><p>That was investigated and unfounded. What they didn't know was he'd scanned and emailed me his suicide note the wee hours of the morning of. The police didn't find the note. Of course I handed it over when they asked. His family would not believe I wasn't involved or at fault and harassed me for a long time. </p><p>If I got a job and they found out about it they'd call and leave so many complaints I'd get let go. Found out what I drove and had their other kids and their friends follow me. </p><p>I ended up having to leave that town and disappearing to avoid them. But before I did, I printed a copy of his suicide note, found his moms car at her job, and left it on the window shield. That note detailed the abuse his father put him through, his rage at his mother for never leaving him and making himself and his siblings live with the SOB. </p><p>That he never wanted me to blame myself, that this was his way of getting the hell away from them and the damage he caused. I felt pretty bad for awhile. But at the same time.... they literally wouldn't leave me alone and stalked me for 5 years.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/TinyTinasRabidOtter/" target="_blank">TinyTinasRabidOtter</a></p>
If You Give A Pup A Shower<p>Bored in the house one day alone when I was about 10, so decided to give my dog a shower, I genuinely loved my dog, he was my best friend growing up, but for some unknown reason I decided to turn the shower onto hot water only (extremely hot) and started showering him. There was a delay I guess in him reacting because his fur was so thick, which meant I kept it on him for a few seconds.</p><p>suddenly He started yelping like dogs do when in pain, his instincts were to not be aggressive or try to escape but just looked at me scared and confused.</p><p>I panicked smashed on the cold and cooled him down as quick as I could.</p><p>Fortunately he was not 'burnt' or had any ongoing issues, he never even lost trust in me.</p><p>I felt physically sick and ashamed in myself for days after, and obviously it still bothers me 20 years later.</p><p>The good thing to come from it is that I was so disturbed by my action that I have never knowingly inflicted pain on anyone or anything since.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/ChrisLeeHD/" target="_blank">ChrisLeeHD</a></p>
Caught In The Act<p>I was at school and for no reason at all, I eavesdropped a very private and delicate conversation between one of my teachers and her husband. </p><p>Then she opened the door and saw me eavesdropping. It was beyond humiliating and I deserved the scolding afterwards. I was young and stupid obviously, but when I remember the look on her face, I still cringe hard, even if it's been almost 20 years.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/naydeilinsei/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">naydeilinsei</a></p>
Shunned<p>Second grade, I had a classmate (fake name Sasha) who was kinda awkward. Crooked teeth, quiet, not too bright. Didn't really have any friends within the class, though she did have some people she would hang out with at recess. </p><p>In any case, a boy in the grade above us, a friend of my brother's actually, for some reason decided to spread a rumor among all of us that Sasha had lice and to stay away from her. </p><p>I bought it without a second thought, and so did most of us; as far as I know, she wasn't particularly teased, but she was just shunned. No one talked to her. </p><p>She was around till the end of the year and didn't come back for third grade. No clue what happened to her, but I really hope we didn't mess her up too much.</p><p>Next summer, I got the worst case of head lice my pediatrician had ever seen. Karma, my dudes.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Isabel79540/" target="_blank">Isabel79540</a></p>
I don't miss high school or the people in it. People who seem to have peaked in high school also weird me out. How? Why? I can definitely tell you that life got much more interesting the older I got (my 20s were way more fun than any of my time in high school). If you were to ask me if I have any regrets, I suppose I would say that I wish I had been more assertive and stood up for myself more. Depression has a way of complicating goals like that, though. Let me tell you: It feels nice to be so much healthier than I was then.
After Redditor Sub2735 asked the online community, "What's your biggest regret from high school?" people shared their stories.
"I'm sure the mentality..."<p>Being too shy, I'm sure the mentality that everyone hated me wasn't very good for making friends.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpad84o?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">aeflare</a></p>
"I'm not sure how it could have gone differently..."<p>Dropping out. I am not sure how it could have gone differently, but I do wish it had. It was expensive to upgrade all that education to get into post-secondary, and I also missed out on a lot of social things.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpafhng?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DaughterEarth</a></p>
"I was already pretty cynical..."<p>I was told I had received a full-ride scholarship, so I stopped putting in any effort on other scholarships. When the time came, it wound up being awarded to someone who applied late, got it due to their family's income level, and then dropped out of college after one month. My first two years of college were a financial nightmare as I had to pay my own way on everything (except rent, as I lived at home and commuted across state lines for work and college). If I had $50 at the end of the month, that was a damn good month. I couldn't get student loans and my parents refused to help, so I had worked out a deal with the financial office at college to pay something like $550 a month, which was about 90% of my income.</p><p>I regret not confronting whoever made that decision about the scholarship. I somewhat regret not putting in the effort to get other scholarships at the same time, but I can't blame myself for it either.</p><p>I was already pretty cynical at that point, but that was when I realized just how quickly your back becomes a knife block for someone else's optics.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpalo5m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">A_Garbage_Account</a></p>
"I used to daydream..."<p>I used to daydream about going back one day and burning it to the ground, but it's just been demolished by land developers. So I guess that dream's dead.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpafcpx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EducationTangle06</a></p>
I suppose the phrase, "Always follow your dreams"...<p>...doesn't apply in this case.</p>
"Acting like a clown..."<p>Acting like a clown, annoying everyone to the point where no one really stayed in contact with me after, and taking my precious little charter school for granted.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpae5ak?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SalFunction12</a></p>
I have a friend who has expressed similar concerns about his time in high school.<p>He ended up spending his college years going to therapy and maturing. His clownish antics were a coping mechanism for a lot of crap going on in his life at the time. He's happier and healthier now and that's what matters.</p>
"To be fair..."<p><span>Dating my best friend. To be fair that's how I found out a lot of people weren't really my friends but getting ghosted afterward really hurt.</span></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpasudw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">kannacantplay</a></p>
"She got tired..."<p>I took my crush to Daft Punk Alive 2007 instead of my best friend. She wasn't responding all day, and I was with my friend. We were about to leave when she called. She'd been with her boyfriend all day and had forgotten about the concert. I took her. My buddy was disappointed but cool about it.</p><p>She got tired of being on the floor halfway through so we sat in the bleachers. We started walking out before the encore because she wanted to get home sooner.</p><p>Always wanted to take my buddy to a Daft Punk show after that, and was going to, no matter where or how much it cost. But I'll never get the chance.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpbd6so?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">spanishgrapelaw</a></p>
"Looking back now..."<p>I regret not telling my crushes how I felt about them. Looking back now, I know that those puppy love relationships probably wouldn't have developed into anything long term and I no doubt would've had my heart broken when they inevitably ended but, I can't help but wonder: What if?</p><p>Having cultivated a host of insecurities by the time I got to high school, I was really good at hiding my inner thoughts and feelings - I also probably didn't see myself very clearly. So, I just assumed that there was zero chance of my crushes reciprocating my feelings and never said anything to them about it. I also probably sub-consciously ignored any signs that they were interested in me (again, didn't see myself clearly, was very insecure).</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpazwl2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Vegoceraptor</a></p>
"The world is wider..."<p>Not engaging with opportunities available to me and just looking at it like a holding pen just before adulthood.</p><p>It may seem hokey, but join clubs, try out lots of sports, pursue interests, pay attention in class and engage with your peers.</p><p>The world is wider for adolescents than I allowed myself to believe it was at the time.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpaxnsf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Big_Requirement_3540</a></p>
"I already knew I was quitting..."<p>Senior year I had the option of a guaranteed internship and doing half days at school. Turned it down because my parents wanted me to be in band (and I enjoyed it so didn't put up a fight).</p><p>I already knew I was quitting when I went to college. The internship would have been great experience to propel my studies/career.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpatszd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ClubbsMcLubbs</a></p>
High school isn't easy.<p>Nor is it particularly fun for a lot of people. Remember how awful being a teenager was? Remember what it was like to feel like you were at the whim of your hormones all the time? It's an emotional rollercoaster. It's no wonder so many people would rather close the book on high school once it's over (or have some regrets related to their time there).</p><p>Have your own stories? Feel free to share them in the comments below.</p>
When we are on the outside looking in, it can feel so obvious that a relationship is doomed.
When we offer advice to friends, family, or people oversharing at a party, the correct next move often seems wildly obvious: get out of that relationship.
Enough Was Enough<p>"He was mentally ill, possibly with Paranoid Personality Disorder, definitely delusional, maybe schizophrenic. I was accused of all types of things, affairs, being part of plots to 'get' him, even urinating on his toothbrush."</p><p>"I stayed for 3 years after I knew I no longer loved him because I knew he would spiral without someone to look after him. He had destroyed every relationship with his friends and family because they were all also out to 'get' him."</p><p>"I finally told him I would only stay if he got help, which he refused. So I left."</p><p>"I was right about him spiralling. He went from sharehouse to sharehouse as all the other tenants were 'out to get him'. He eventually ended up homeless for a while is now facing 18 different charges so will probably end up in jail."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpal6ip?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">damekl</a></p>
An Unfortunately Common Response to Fading Love<p>"She threatened to kill herself and even though I wanted out of the relationship, i didnt want her to be hurt or die. I remember us arguing about something very trivial but she was getting very upset. She walked out mid conversation and came back with cuts all over her legs and thighs."</p><p>"I tried getting help from parents, school counselors, doctors. None helped. So i just tried to manage as much as I can. Eventually she joined the military & moved away and that was the moment I was finally free."</p><p>"Years wasted though."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpab7fm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">corazon_im_hurt</a></p>
A Bare Bones Story<p>"Short version: domestic violence."</p><p>"Long version: I was afraid to leave because I believed he would find me and kill me."</p><p>"Conclusion: He pushed me too far and I ran."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpaizjk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AliceMorgon</a></p>
Tipping Over the Edge<p>"He was a violent drug addict and I was scared of what he may do if I left. I never truly loved him but our relationship became very codependent very quickly."</p><p>"He cheated on me, took advantage of the fact that I had a car and money, but I still stayed because he was always threatening to kill himself or to kill my cats."</p><p>"Then one night he literally backed me into a corner and tried to punch me in the head so that finally made me open my eyes and realize I had to get out."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpb5z6l?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Theging96666</a></p>
Optics<p>"She's terminally ill, and dying of Cancer, even though she is abusive now, and was before, I can't really leave, the social pressure to be a *good man* plus the cost of divorce and everything else is just too much, at this point it's just easier to wait it out."</p><p>"Plus I really like her family, and if I left her when she was sick...it would pretty much kill that relationship."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpbm18j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Boise_State_2020</a></p>
Always a Reason to Stay<p>"We were living together at 16, she cheated on me and I told her I wanted her to leave, she begged me not to send her back to her moms house because they have like 8 people in a 2 bedroom house and because she would've had nowhere else to go."</p><p>"I was 16 I didn't know how to handle a girl literally begging me so I let her stay against my better judgement and it created a hurtful cycle of falling in and out of love."</p><p>"Feeling like things could get better and then having my world come crashing down every time I look at her because I think of reading the message of the guy saying he loved watching her get on top of him."</p><p>"A couple of years go by and we're not in love, just tolerating each other at this point and then we got pregnant, stayed together through the pregnancy but the stress was too much for both of us and caused fighting, sleeping apart, more cheating."</p><p>"When the baby was born she had finally turned 18 and we moved away our relationship got much better with each other, we're best friends now and are just trying our best to raise our daughter to be healthy and happy and know she's loved."</p><p>"Neither of us had good childhoods."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa47ed?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Lapidot-Wav</a></p>
For the In-Laws<p>"I lived with a man I never loved. His mum was also living with us and I loved her more than my own biological mum."</p><p>"She was the nicest, kindest and the most caring soul I have ever met in my life. I left that man when he told me that he knew I was only with him because of his mum. That was 20 years ago but I still miss her every single day."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpbz7av?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Mayfl21</a></p>
A Sudden Shift<p>"I was with my wife for 14 years. For at least half of that, I wasn't happy with the relationship. But I had decided I was ok with it because everything about our life together was acceptable, for lack of a better word."</p><p>"We owned a house, made good money, got along well, shared hobbies, etc. We were basically roommates/best friends who just didn't love each other the way you would normally expect from a married couple."</p><p>"When the pandemic hit, and we were forced to stay home more and spend time with each other EVERY DAY, we started to get a better sense of how well we actually tolerated each other. It didn't go well."</p><p>"She ended up getting really into online gaming and met some other guys and basically cheated on me. In retrospect, it was obvious it would reach that point."</p><p>"But I was content to stay there as long as I could because it was a comfortable life with very little stress and obligation."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpaadi2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">knucklehead923</a></p>
Slow Fade<p>"I was no longer as 'in love' with her. But I still loved her. After years together it could become tricky to figure out exactly what It's just a lull and what is it really going away."</p><p>"I was still living with my best friend. But ended it because once we really realized that I wasn't feeling the same way anymore. I was just hurting her for me to stay since she was still in love."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa6h2s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">collin3000</a></p>
Wise, But a Little Sad<p>"We have good chemistry and built a life together. After a lot of years, love comes and goes. It is like the seasons."</p><p>"As cold as it can be in the winter, if you put the effort in, the spring will always come back."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa41jl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Aizpunr</a></p>
Some people don't take breakups very well. And those that don't can sometimes engage in behavior that others might view as bothersome, unsettling, even toxic.
Others engage in abusive behavior during the relationship, a major red flag that some people might not take seriously until it's too late.
After Redditor XYZ3110 asked the online community, "What's the creepiest thing an ex has done?" people shared their stories.