Jilted People Share The Stupidest Reason They've Been Dumped
Stupid breakups happen. Seinfeld talked about it, and my mother has sworn her whole life that it is better to break up for a "stupid" reason than to have to live with someone who makes mouth noises. She doesn't mean speaking or laughing, obviously, but I've never met a woman more passionately against any other sound a human mouth can make. Slurping, chewing, mouth breathing ... and heaven forbid you let out an "ahh" after you sip something.
If looks could kill. Jeez.
One Reddit user asked:
What's the stupidest reason you've ever been broken up with?
It turns out the world is full of people who dump or get dumped for reasons other people think are stupid. Having said that... my mom is totally right about the mouth noise thing. Chew with your mouth closed if you can, people!
Immediately Saw Marriage
She met someone that she immediately saw herself marrying.
A month after we broke up she moved across the country, got married, called me to tell me she made a mistake, got divorced, moved back home, got pregnant and then got married again.
Her Current age : 22
Walk Home With A Friend
When I was a teen my ex broke up with me because I didn't walk her home. I walked her home pretty much everyday for like half a year and one day when we we're next to my house with her next door neighbor, I decided I was just going to let them walk together. They lived right next door to one another and it wasn't far. I was tired and figured I'd chill home for a change. Apparently that makes me a bad bf so I got dumped.
Abuse Is Not Sexy
She was upset that I didn't hit her during an argument after she said some out of line shit. She told me she thought abusive relationships were "sexy" and would show that I "cared." That was the most bizarre thing I've ever heard, but probably best that relationship ended lol.
Not Even Dating
A guy broke up with me that I wasn't aware of dating. We had dinner once. We spoke a handful of times via text but very short messages. Out of the blue, after a few months, I get a long message telling me he has to break up with me. We were both in our late 30's.
Time Passes
Met on OKCupid.
Chatted a bit, we seemed to have a bunch in common.
We went on one dinner date that was ok but kinda awkward. He said some stuff that could either be red flags or he's a bad sarcastic flirt, etc - I was on the fence about another date but when he POUTED that I wouldn't kiss him in the parking lot I decided more on the no side.
We didn't talk after that. Eh, it happens. I forgot about it and went on with my single life.
TEN MONTHS GO BY.
I get a message on OKCupid from him:
"I see you're no longer lying about your age - anything else you want to come clean about?"
Wtf?
"Your profile says you're 30 now."
Yeah, because TIME PASSED and now I'm 30. Before that it said 29. That's how ages work?
"Well I can't entertain dating someone who would lie about something this basic. We're done."
When did we even start?
He blocked me.
I'm sure he felt....righteous?
Masculinity So Fragile
I liked to be the big spoon and he told me I was questioning his manhood.
53 Hours
Mine seems pretty mundane after looking through these comments but had a girl break up with me by saying:
"Its been 53 hours since you said I love you, so clearly you are trying to be distant so I break up with you first so YOU WIN."
I was relieved after the initial shock she was apparently batty and I never knew
Hoping For The Concert Connection
Broke up with me at 2 in the morning, her reason was that one of her favorite singers was coming in for a concert and she was trying to meet him and have him fall in love with her.
Why Does It Matter Two Years Later?
My first girlfriend who I was with for 2 years broke up with me because I went to see a movie with a group of people and never told her about it.
I saw the movie in our first month together.
Like You Meme It
I had someone break up with me because I showed her too many memes.
Is this a problem? I think it's a problem.
Immortal
I dated a girl for one day. She broke up with me because in her words I was "immortal." I'm pretty certain she was going for immoral but hey you take what you can get.
God Said No
She said that God came to her in a dream and told her that to follow his path she could not walk it with me. She then started going to church and became an assistant minister or something. Then she started dating a local junkhead wife beater because he had reformed himself and come to God. And then he cheated on her. And now she works at Walgreens.
Inconvenient Cancer
My dad was dying of cancer, and my highschool girlfriend dumped me because I was "depressing to be around."
Scorpio
It wasn't a break, up but me and this girl that I had never met before were waiting at the bus stop and we got to talking and everything was going pretty well, I'm fairly sure I was even close to getting her number, but apparently it turns out she was SUPER into astrology and when she found out I was Scorpio she stopped talking to me and walked away. She purposefully missed her bus to get away from me.
Lack Of Growth Spurt
We were both 21 years of age and had been together 3 months. He breaks up with me because I'm not tall enough. I'm 5'3" he was 6'9".
Was he expecting a growth spurt anytime soon??!!!!
Single For Heroin
She wanted to be single for her first heroin experience.
Fallout: New Vegas
I broke up with a girlfriend in highschool because it was school holidays and she kept texting me to hang out but I was never replied because I had just bought Fallout New Vegas and it basically took over my entire life.
She was getting upset that I wasn't texting her, all I wanted to do was play Fallout, and figured it would be easier to just dump her so I could get back to my PC rather than try patch things up.
In hindsight it was extremely stupid because she was super cute and really smart, a really good gf in general. I ended up apologizing years later at a party we were both at and things were cool... never actually told her that I dumped her because I couldn't be had trying to explain to her that I just wanted to play my new computer game rather than hang out with her, but that's between you and I now, Reddit
tl;dr dumped a 10/10 gf in highschool because I just wanted to play fallout new vegas instead of replying to a few of her text messages
Christmas Eve In A Strip Club
I once dated a woman from Shenzen, China. She was in the states for college. I took her out on Christmas Eve for dinner and as I'm driving her back to her dorm, we pass a strip club. She says she has never been and wants me to take her. I told her some other time, as I can't imagine spending Christmas Eve in a strip club. She dumps me on the spot.
It was worth it for the story.
My Seinfeld Breakup
I broke up with a girl who pronounced 'ketchup' as 'cats-up'
My friends refer to it as my "Seinfeld Breakup"
I Wasn't Born In The 80's
Someone broke up with me because he found out that I was three months younger than him, meaning that I was born early in the next decade. Which meant that I couldn't possibly 'get' him because I wasn't born in the 80s.
H/T: Reddit
I can't definitively say I've come face to face with the spirits. But I have had some unsettling feelings in the dark. Shadows are just shadows sometimes, but who can be sure.
I hear it...
Nbc Wings GIF by HULUGiphy"I was helping my dad clean my grandma's house after she passed and I went in and was trying to find a song in my phone and before I could I heard a cough plain as day come from down the hallway where her room was. She died of lung and throat cancer it was pretty crazy."
Running Past...
"When I was 5 I remember getting home from my grandpa's birthday party. For context my mom was pregnant with my brother at the time, so my parents had already bought his crib. I woke up in the middle of the night to find a women in a white dress and long black hair standing over my brother's crib. I managed to wake up my dad so he could take me to the bathroom. When I got back it was still there. It was only until morning when it disappeared. Every now and then I see a glance of what I assume is that thing running past the backyard."
The Cat
"My best friend and his wife had moved to a new apartment. I came over to visit a few times, and each time I'd see the motion of a cat in my peripheral vision. Not the image of a cat, but a sense of how a cat moves. Anyway, one day I finally cracked some joke about the ghost cat in the place and his wife was instantly saying "See! See! I told you we had a ghost cat!"
"excuse me"
"I worked graveyard shift in a dementia ward for 4 years and it was anything but quiet. I was working with a nurse one night when we both heard a resident say "excuse me." We looked around and no-one was there. I checked on the resident in question and she was fast asleep in her own room. Many of us also experienced someone whistling in the ward late at night and one nurse even managed to catch a video of it happening. It was unnerving to say the least."
Clueless
Skeleton GIFGiphy"I once saw someone short walk by me in my house. They walked into the laundry room which only has one way in. I walked into it behind them and they where gone. I thought it was my little brother but I went to his room and he was asleep. I still have no clue what that was."
- ImBolio
Now was everyone here positive they were sober? Just asking. Those are certainly spooky moments. I'd like some video footage please. Continue...
Reflections
ghost library GIFGiphy"I was up at 3am when I was maybe 7 or 8. I looked out the window and saw a woman in a white dress run across my yard. I could see through her. She was transparent like the reflections on the window."
"you alright?"
"So, my work place is haunted. I was having a really crap day, and as a cleaner, it's normal that me and my co worker will be the only ones left at night. So I was standing on the second floor, leaning on the banister for the stair case, when I heard this male voice say in my ear "you alright?" Clear as day. I turned around so fast and nobody was there and it scared the hell out of me."
- Rex-the-
Watching Me
"I remember as a young kid I usually use to sit in my bed and watch tv with my room door open while the adjacent guest bedroom next to mine would always have the door shut. I always remember seeing that door fully open and close by itself multiple times a day very slowly and gently. Never really bothered me much now that I think about it… but there were other creepier experiences I had in the same house that made me feel uncomfortable like I was being watched."
Betsy
"I went to the Betsy Ross House as a really little kid in the early 90s. Normal house but I was confused why the tour guide never talked about the woman on the chair crying at the edge of the bed in Betsy Ross's bedroom. So I asked about it. No one else saw the woman at the edge of the bed. I figured it was just a wax museum since there was a wax statue of a man in uniform rolling bullets in the basement."
"Years later, I was looking at haunted Philadelphia tours to go on with a friend and the Betsy Ross House was on it. I was like "woah! I was there!" and looked into it some more. Turns out there is a woman at the end of the bed crying and a uniformed man in the basement that people have reported seeing. There is no way that 8 year old me would have known about either of these things."
hello kitty...
hello kitty lol GIF by Animation Domination High-DefGiphy"I had this hello kitty Balloon In my bed room, it had a string and weight on it. So it was late, I had the lights on just Sitting on my bed. The Balloon turns, faces my door, slowly floats into my hallway and turns and floats into my sister's room. To this day I am scared of balloons."
They are among us and they like Hello Kitty. I'm probably rattling the paranormal cages and they'll come for me next, but I'm ready. I feel like this thread has prepared me.
Boo!
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