Top Stories

Jilted People Share The Stupidest Reason They've Been Dumped

Jilted People Share The Stupidest Reason They've Been Dumped


Jilted People Share The Stupidest Reason They've Been Dumped

[rebelmouse-image 18351952 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Stupid breakups happen. Seinfeld talked about it, and my mother has sworn her whole life that it is better to break up for a "stupid" reason than to have to live with someone who makes mouth noises. She doesn't mean speaking or laughing, obviously, but I've never met a woman more passionately against any other sound a human mouth can make. Slurping, chewing, mouth breathing ... and heaven forbid you let out an "ahh" after you sip something.

If looks could kill. Jeez.

One Reddit user asked:

What's the stupidest reason you've ever been broken up with?

It turns out the world is full of people who dump or get dumped for reasons other people think are stupid. Having said that... my mom is totally right about the mouth noise thing. Chew with your mouth closed if you can, people!

Immediately Saw Marriage

[rebelmouse-image 18351953 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

She met someone that she immediately saw herself marrying.

A month after we broke up she moved across the country, got married, called me to tell me she made a mistake, got divorced, moved back home, got pregnant and then got married again.

Her Current age : 22

Walk Home With A Friend

[rebelmouse-image 18351954 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

When I was a teen my ex broke up with me because I didn't walk her home. I walked her home pretty much everyday for like half a year and one day when we we're next to my house with her next door neighbor, I decided I was just going to let them walk together. They lived right next door to one another and it wasn't far. I was tired and figured I'd chill home for a change. Apparently that makes me a bad bf so I got dumped.

Abuse Is Not Sexy

[rebelmouse-image 18351955 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

She was upset that I didn't hit her during an argument after she said some out of line shit. She told me she thought abusive relationships were "sexy" and would show that I "cared." That was the most bizarre thing I've ever heard, but probably best that relationship ended lol.

Not Even Dating

[rebelmouse-image 18351956 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

A guy broke up with me that I wasn't aware of dating. We had dinner once. We spoke a handful of times via text but very short messages. Out of the blue, after a few months, I get a long message telling me he has to break up with me. We were both in our late 30's.

Time Passes

[rebelmouse-image 18351957 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Met on OKCupid.

Chatted a bit, we seemed to have a bunch in common.

We went on one dinner date that was ok but kinda awkward. He said some stuff that could either be red flags or he's a bad sarcastic flirt, etc - I was on the fence about another date but when he POUTED that I wouldn't kiss him in the parking lot I decided more on the no side.

We didn't talk after that. Eh, it happens. I forgot about it and went on with my single life.

TEN MONTHS GO BY.

I get a message on OKCupid from him:

"I see you're no longer lying about your age - anything else you want to come clean about?"

Wtf?

"Your profile says you're 30 now."

Yeah, because TIME PASSED and now I'm 30. Before that it said 29. That's how ages work?

"Well I can't entertain dating someone who would lie about something this basic. We're done."

When did we even start?

He blocked me.

I'm sure he felt....righteous?

Masculinity So Fragile

[rebelmouse-image 18351958 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I liked to be the big spoon and he told me I was questioning his manhood.

53 Hours

[rebelmouse-image 18351960 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Mine seems pretty mundane after looking through these comments but had a girl break up with me by saying:

"Its been 53 hours since you said I love you, so clearly you are trying to be distant so I break up with you first so YOU WIN."

I was relieved after the initial shock she was apparently batty and I never knew

Hoping For The Concert Connection

[rebelmouse-image 18351961 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Broke up with me at 2 in the morning, her reason was that one of her favorite singers was coming in for a concert and she was trying to meet him and have him fall in love with her.

Why Does It Matter Two Years Later?

[rebelmouse-image 18347524 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

My first girlfriend who I was with for 2 years broke up with me because I went to see a movie with a group of people and never told her about it.

I saw the movie in our first month together.

Like You Meme It

[rebelmouse-image 18351962 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I had someone break up with me because I showed her too many memes.

Is this a problem? I think it's a problem.

Immortal

[rebelmouse-image 18351963 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I dated a girl for one day. She broke up with me because in her words I was "immortal." I'm pretty certain she was going for immoral but hey you take what you can get.

God Said No

[rebelmouse-image 18351964 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

She said that God came to her in a dream and told her that to follow his path she could not walk it with me. She then started going to church and became an assistant minister or something. Then she started dating a local junkhead wife beater because he had reformed himself and come to God. And then he cheated on her. And now she works at Walgreens.

Inconvenient Cancer

[rebelmouse-image 18351965 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

My dad was dying of cancer, and my highschool girlfriend dumped me because I was "depressing to be around."

Scorpio

[rebelmouse-image 18351966 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

It wasn't a break, up but me and this girl that I had never met before were waiting at the bus stop and we got to talking and everything was going pretty well, I'm fairly sure I was even close to getting her number, but apparently it turns out she was SUPER into astrology and when she found out I was Scorpio she stopped talking to me and walked away. She purposefully missed her bus to get away from me.

Lack Of Growth Spurt

[rebelmouse-image 18351968 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

We were both 21 years of age and had been together 3 months. He breaks up with me because I'm not tall enough. I'm 5'3" he was 6'9".

Was he expecting a growth spurt anytime soon??!!!!

Single For Heroin

[rebelmouse-image 18351969 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

She wanted to be single for her first heroin experience.

Fallout: New Vegas

[rebelmouse-image 18351970 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I broke up with a girlfriend in highschool because it was school holidays and she kept texting me to hang out but I was never replied because I had just bought Fallout New Vegas and it basically took over my entire life.

She was getting upset that I wasn't texting her, all I wanted to do was play Fallout, and figured it would be easier to just dump her so I could get back to my PC rather than try patch things up.

In hindsight it was extremely stupid because she was super cute and really smart, a really good gf in general. I ended up apologizing years later at a party we were both at and things were cool... never actually told her that I dumped her because I couldn't be had trying to explain to her that I just wanted to play my new computer game rather than hang out with her, but that's between you and I now, Reddit

tl;dr dumped a 10/10 gf in highschool because I just wanted to play fallout new vegas instead of replying to a few of her text messages

Christmas Eve In A Strip Club

[rebelmouse-image 18351971 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I once dated a woman from Shenzen, China. She was in the states for college. I took her out on Christmas Eve for dinner and as I'm driving her back to her dorm, we pass a strip club. She says she has never been and wants me to take her. I told her some other time, as I can't imagine spending Christmas Eve in a strip club. She dumps me on the spot.

It was worth it for the story.

My Seinfeld Breakup

[rebelmouse-image 18351972 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I broke up with a girl who pronounced 'ketchup' as 'cats-up'

My friends refer to it as my "Seinfeld Breakup"

I Wasn't Born In The 80's

[rebelmouse-image 18351974 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Someone broke up with me because he found out that I was three months younger than him, meaning that I was born early in the next decade. Which meant that I couldn't possibly 'get' him because I wasn't born in the 80s.

H/T: Reddit

The Weirdest Animal Facts People Know

Reddit user FunChemical3182 asked: 'What is the weirdest animal fact you know?'

platypus
Michael Jerrard on Unsplash

People accumulate facts throughout life on a wide variety of subjects.

Some are mundane while others are weird, wild or wonderful.

One subject a lot of people focus on is animals. Most people have a favorite animal that fascinates them that they want to know all about.

Keep reading...Show less

Content Warning: Mental Health, Suicide, Domestic Violence

We all know that we technically can't make anyone else do anything, and we certainly can't "fix" other people. Other people will only change or do something if they choose to; the only person we can really control is ourselves.

But some people really love to try, often to hilarious and terrible results.

Already cringing, Redditor Dapper_Algae6280 asked:

"People who entered a relationship thinking 'I can fix them,' how did that go?"

Time for an Upgrade

"There is a weird thing that happens when you 'fix' someone. They tend to think if you liked them broken, then they deserve better than you now that they are better than they were."

- TheRealLifePotato

"As horrible as it sounds, to have a happy, emotionally healthy relationship you need two happy, emotionally healthy people. If you want to be in that sort of relationship, you need to fix yourself first."

- inactiveuser247

"This right here. After three sh*tty relationships in a row, I realized this is a me problem. I took a few years off from dating to reflect and really learn to see red flags and understand myself so I wouldn't make that mistake again."

- MikoSkyns

No More Spark

"My now ex had PTSD, depression, and a variety of other issues she claimed. After two and a half years of dating (being my first and only relationship), she became more social, less suicidal, and overall happier as a person."

"She decided to cheat on me with someone else due to 'lack of communication' and us 'no longer having a spark". The irony."

"For context, we were 17 at the time, in high school, and I worked full-time hours with initiatives to hang out, which were refused. Red flags everywhere."

- elteragxo

"Your situation is eerily similar to mine, what the f**k?"

"I met a girl with mental and emotional issues and decided to fix them through a healthy relationship. She recovered and found someone else because 'the spark was gone.'"

- Aimlessdrifter8778

Misery Loves Company

"Now we are both broken."

- Brave-Butterscotch76

"The same thing happened to my sister-in-law. She married a very negative and miserable guy while saying 'he will get better' or 'we’re working on it,' and now she’s a very negative and miserable person."

- Moreofyoulessofme

Getting to Watch a Partner Grow

"At first we were only f**king. I don't know if I ever thought I could fix her, but I did fall in love with this beautiful lady with severe anxiety, depression, and trust issues after being in a domestically violent relationship."

"We were f**k buddies for about six months and I got a glimpse of her issues but I still went ahead and asked her to be my girlfriend The heart wants what it wants."

"We dated for a year and a half (two years since meeting), and I actually got to see her at her worst a few times, but I was finally able to get her therapy with a great psychiatrist and treatment, this is when I asked her to move in with me. We've been living together for six years."

"Four years ago, she had the worst breakdown I've seen. She went full-on paranoid, wall-scratching nervous, she was even doubting me and my motives to be there. It was a very difficult week, and she left the house and went to her mom's house in the middle of the night."

"Eventually, her therapist was able to get a hold of her and get her back to her senses. Her doctor then suggested that I also should go to a counselor or at the very least we should do couples therapy so we had strong bases for our relationship and we did."

"I now look back and won't change her for anything in the world, she has grown so much, and she glows right now. I now see her smile and it's glorious. She's achieved a great position too and it's amazing just to see how much happier she looks."

- Spiritual-Narwhal666

Not a Match

"I fixed what I wanted to fix, but that still didn't make us right for each other. In the end, I think she's in a much happier place than she could have been, so I think it was worth the time invested."

"We were wrong for each other, but at least we both came out better positioned to receive the happiness that would come to us later."

- MrWeb20

In Their Nature

"A couple of months into the relationship, I fixed him."

"After some irritation, he stopped peeing on the carpet. Now, my cat still brings mice, but I guess, that's just his nature."

- mobileJay77

The Importance of Boundaries

"I don't know if I would say that I 'fixed' her (and I wasn’t trying to), but I definitely taught my last ex the importance of being able to set boundaries and to stop going out of her way to please people who consistently hurt her."

"Eventually this would lead to us breaking up, but I have no regrets. I have issues of my own that were wearing her down and she did what she had to. Same rules apply. We’re both better off because of it."

- TylerTexas10

Happily Ever After

"She fixed herself and I fixed myself with each other's support, and we are living happily ever after, it seems, with ongoing work on ourselves and our relationship."

- DonPronote

An Uncommon Ending

"I didn’t fix them. But I tried my hardest to be patient and supportive while they fixed themself. Sometimes I was better at support than other times. Sometimes they were better at fixing than other times."

"It ended up being worth the patience. Things have been great with us for years now. I know this isn’t the normal outcome though, and I feel incredibly lucky."

- I_Invented_Frysauce

A Little Help from Our Friends

"Usually I'm the one people try to fix.. I think the repeated attempts definitely helped me. Now my current partner gets to enjoy the previous hard work."

"...I think I just got tired of hurting the people who love me and fixed myself, though."

- addrien

All Their Idea

"You can't fix anyone. You can only fix yourself, but if you really want to try and fix someone, you have to make it seem like it's their idea."

- BuhrZap

A Helping Hand

"I don't think you can fix anyone. You can only help them fix themselves, which is very different."

"If someone is actively trying to fix themselves, and you can actually be the person to support them through it, then it can work, but it could also not work."

"I do think there should be a distinction between the two. I mean, trying to fix someone is a bad idea, but if you like someone and are willing to support them in their journey to fix themselves, it's probably not the worst idea in the world."

- brooksie1131

Lesson Learned

"It went so well that they managed to cure me of the desire to 'fix' anybody."

"I’ll toss you a life preserver if you’re trying to save yourself. But I’m not jumping in the water with anyone so they can drown me on their way out."

"People who need to hit rock bottom in order to better themselves will use you to soften their landing if you let them."

- GlobalPermit5428

Best Friends Forever

"It went well but it didn’t work out."

"So we kind of fixed each other we were both at very weird points in our lives and we only dated for about one and a half years. We didn’t need a romantic partner but we did need a friend in each other."

"We’re both in better places now and the best of friends. We both want each other to be part of our lives just not as lovers."

"All and all, I say we got the best outcomes in our lives."

- CODMAN627

So Worth the Investment

"He was an Uber driver with only a high school diploma."

"I married him anyways and bankrolled his education because he was fun as f**k to be around, was the smartest person I’ve ever met, and loves me like I’m the only woman on Earth."

"Now, he’s a computer engineer and we are landlords together and have bought investment properties. We are very happy together."

"Partners work together to create success. I think selfish people ask, 'what’s in it for me?' Marriage is about selflessness."

"I’m glad I sacrificed for his education. His mind would be wasted otherwise and he’s a genius."

- BabyElephantWalks

In most of these cases, the situation went poorly after a Redditor tried to change someone, and for good reason. If that person isn't ready or doesn't want to be fixed, it's only going to damage the relationship.

There's also something to be said about unconditional love. If you don't want to date the person exactly as who they are right now, why are you even trying to date them?

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

Guy at the gym
Anastase Maragos/Unsplash

Tough guys put on a facade that indicates to others that they always know what's going on.

But their confidence doesn't always match their intellect, which is probably why they cover their insecurities by walking around and trying to show everyone who's really the boss.

If that's the case, they should keep their mouths shut because not everything that comes out of their mouth needs to be heard.

Yet, it can be amusing to everyone else.

Curious to hear examples of these, Redditor PrototypeShadowBlitz asked:

"Reddit, what is the stupidest thing you've heard from the 'alpha male' community?"

You might find these guys at a bar.

The Dude Must Be Hungry

"Had a run in once with a group of young lads about something in a bar and one of them said we are top of the food chain bro and you will be the prey."

– insertitherenow

"'Whatever, mall ninja" -proper response."

– TheEighthLord

If The Shoe Fits

"That they were an alpha male."

– I_Have_A_Name37654

"The use of 'Alpha Male,' unironically is every indication that you're dealing with a child's understanding of manhood."

– 88Dubs

Brat Pack

"Me and my bros are all alpha males."

– SonOfDadOfSam

"I was skiing one time and rode the lift with a guy that said, 'I don't feel no pain. I live with 5 roommates and none of us feel any pain.' Okay, bud. That's a really interesting coincidence."

– NicPizzaLatte

They sure thrive on making sexist comments.

Contagious Femininity

"A coworker said, 'I don't spend too much time with my girlfriend because I'll become too feminine.'"

– Lazy_Natural6154

"FELLAS IS IT GAY?!"

– aliebabadegrote

Sexist Categorization

"I have been called a beta for saying that my wife makes more money than I do. She works in a more lucrative field and is more educated than I am, so it makes perfect sense that she makes more than I do."

"So I came back, and this post has really blown up. There's just a few things I want to clarify."

"1- I have only ever been called a beta online."

"2- I work full-time in project management. I have a master's degree. I have a 6 figure salary."

"3- My wife has a PhD and works in finance. She also has a 6 figure salary, it's just a higher salary than my own."

"4- I'm sorry to anyone who might feel as though my original post misled them."

– ExaminationDouble240

It's Teamwork

"A real man would be proud of his wife for achieving success, and not fall for that sort of insecure bullsh*t."

"It's not a contest, that's the real joke here. Good on you for seeing the big picture."

– Mrbeardoesthethings

Do these roles about parenting sound familiar?

Childish Things Are Too Girly

"Real men don't take their kids trick or treating is one that I heard recently."

– constructionguy89

"Related. Guys who brag about not changing diapers, not playing 'girly' games, etc. Essentially guys who brag that their only contribution to fatherhood is money and masculine things like fishing or football. Even then some of them brag about not paying a lot of child support to prove they didn't let the system take advantage of them."

"I can't imagine a life so empty my only accomplishment worth bragging about was being a terrible parent."

– Green7000

This Woman's Work

"I was told that taking care of my kids is woman's work. Apparently it's concerning that I try to spend so much of my free time with them. Oddly enough the meatheads at my grappling club think it's sweet I occasionally have my daughters' hair clips on and nails painted."

– MrFunktasticc

People discussed rules in the bedroom.

Never Submissive

"That a man is turned off when their wife/girlfriend seduces them, because if she wants sex and shows it she is a sl*t, also making the man the submissive one…"

– kamalaophelia

Stifling Emotions

"Not the whole community, but was cuddling with a guy once and could tell he was trying not to get emotional over something that was bothering him. He said, quite literally, 'it's not alpha male behaviour.' I told him that I liked that he showed emotions sometimes, and he looked disgusted by the fact that I pointed it out."

– LambLifts

In high school, a classmate who was on the football team said I was a "sissy" for listening to classical music.

The other classmates laughed at me, which was hardly surprising since all of the guys on our unbeatable football team were considered stars on campus.

This kind of mockery was a typical day for me.

I can laugh at their idiotic comments now but back then, I don't know why I ever let them get under my skin.

Man standing behind large flowers
Quinn Buffing on Unsplash

We've all done things, or in some cases, regularly do things that others might consider weird.

Even so, we often feel no shame or embarrassment and embrace how unusual these habits are, and take our friends teasing or laughing at us for doing so in stride.

Sometimes, however, we might not like to advertise some of our unusual habits or actions and make every effort to keep them a well-guarded secret.

As raised eyebrows are much easier to take than blatant judgment from friends and peers.

Redditor Key_Nectarine_1969 was curious to hear all the weird things people have done which they still keep under lock and key, leading them to ask:

"What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?"

The Devil [Dogs] Is In The Detail...

"All throughout middle school, there was someone who tucked unwrapped Hostess Devil Dogs into the toilet paper dispensers in the bathrooms, so that when you pulled some toilet paper out, the devil dog would fall out into your hand."

"We had to have an assembly about it."

"That person... Was me."- bejeweled_sky

Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time

"Was drunk at an escape room with coworkers."

"It was an extreme one where you are handcuffed the entire time."

"I decided in my drunken state that it would be bada** to dislocated my thumb and slip off the cuffs like the movies."

"It wasn't."

"We got kicked out, my coworkers were weirded out and I had to go to the hospital."

"I quit a few weeks later."

"White collar wasn't for me."- Grotesque-penguin

The Bread Of Heaven

"Stole over 1,000 wafers from church because I really liked the communion wafers & didn’t know where else to get them."

"I felt really blessed & cursed for a long time."- hALLIEcinate

catholic the exorcist GIFGiphy

Retracing Steps...

"Once I got off the subway in NYC and I was super early for an appointment."

"So I picked a random guy and just followed him on foot for like 30 minutes, pretending I was like a private detective or something."

"Always kept about a half block behind."

"He turned this way and that, and eventually went into a building I had lived in 9 years earlier."

"It was weird, and so was I."- OKsurewhynotyep

Hygeine Be Damned...

"I found a dead rat in a field when i was younger and kissed it bc I wanted to say goodbye."- qeleia

exercise push up GIFGiphy

Bad Decisions Have A Way Of Getting Back To You...

"We got super drunk and ate a ton of spicy food in New Orleans."

"Back at the B&B, the food started to come out the back side."

"I was sitting on the toilet sh*tting bricks of fire."

"At that moment, the booze decided to hang a u-turn."

"The trash can was out of reach and I couldn't risk standing up from the toilet for even 5 seconds."

"The closest receptacle was the bathtub."

"I managed to turn in such a way that I could keep shi*ting in the toilet while projectile vomiting into the tub."

"Both ended up clogged, and there was no plunger."

"I had to call the owner to explain that I had destroyed both their toilet and their tub simultaneously."- HoopOnPoop

Things Best Left To Professionals...

"My partner is weirdly prone to cysts."

"I had to drain a 3 inch cyst on her back (thankfully she had a dr's appt the next week), then multiple other little cysts on her legs and chest."

"I never told her to her face but that first giant cyst literally haunted me, the amount of pus and blood I saw....good heavens."- SleepyBiologist

uruguay spot GIF by sargentoPezGiphy

At Least A Lesson Was Learned...

"When I was walking to school one morning, I saw a kid (7-8 yo?) kicking a dog."

"I ran over & kicked the kid and asked him how it felt."

"He ran off and no one saw."

"Still not sorry."- sneezyailurophile

All Creatures Deserve Love

"I was extremely socially isolated as a child and tried to make friends with the coyotes who lived in the woods by our home."

'I caught one in a snare and fed and kept her."

"I wanted a friend."- letthetreeburn

That's What Friends Are For...

"My wife and her best friend pick me up from a frat party black out drunk."

"Then they helped me take a sh*t on the toilet, wiped my a** and then gave me a shower and put me to bed naked."

"Don’t remember any of it."- nc3100

Party Love GIF by Chris CiminoGiphy

Not The Right Kind Of Manure...

"One time I went outside at like 2AM and put the garden hose nozzle into my butthole and sprayed some water into it, then farted it out onto the lawn."

"Basically gave myself an enema with a garden hose."

"I did this because I was bored."

"My neighbour saw me and told my dad (lived at home at the time)."- WaspsInMyGoatse

A Little Fantasy Now And Then...

"When I was younger I joined an international dating site that I figured was a scam."

"Put a black square as my picture and gave myself a fake name, and then looked through their users."

"And after about 10 minutes I had like a 100 messages."

"Most of them were messages telling me how handsome I was or how these women fell in love with me at first site."

"Now I knew it was a scam but when ever I felt down or got rejected for a while I would pop back on the site and read a few messages."

'Yeah it’s kinda cringy and probably pathetic but it made me feel better."

"I would just turn off that logical part of my brain that knew it was a scam for awhile and just pretend I was this popular and desirable guy."

"And it honestly got me through the day sometimes."- Demonking3343

dating app GIFGiphy

If anyone says they've never done anything they're ashamed, or at the very least less-than-proud of, in all likelihood, they are lying.

Or, more likely, they understandably want to pretend that it never happened.

Which might be a little easier than harboring a secret.