People Share Their All Time Most Embarassing Moment -- And We're Cringing
Oof, prepare for a wave of second-hand embarrassment from this article. None of us are immune from embarrassment and these brave souls have kindly stepped up and warned us with their stories.
Dear Reddit, what is your all-time most embarrassing moment?
Here were some of the answers.
Pale And ExposedGiphy
I had a great day at a waterpark / outdoor pool and towards the afternoon a woman came up to me and whispered in my ear that I have a problem with my swimsuit. I reached behind a noticed a huge gap.
The fabric was torn right in the middle and you could see my white, untanned buttcrack. I was running around like this all day and no one said anything.
Was on an airplane years ago with my girlfriend and her parents. My girlfriend couldn't get a seat next to me and sat directly behind me. During the flight I thought I would surprise her and reached me hand back onto her knee. Slowly I kept extending it up her thigh until I heard giggling. Looked behind through the seats and saw that my hand was on the leg of the guy next to her. He saw my face and said, "I just wanted to see how far you'd go." Of course my girlfriend was in on it and started laughing along with the rest of the row. Was so embarrassed.
This was during my Sophomore year in math class. I sat between two gentleman. I was really congested that day and thus pretty tired at the same time. I was resting my head in my hand and hunched over my math book when I felt a sneeze coming. I went to lean back but apparently didn't move quick enough when the force of this sneeze sent my face hurling into my desk. My head smacked the desk so hard that I bounced back up like a basketball. At that point I was just dizzy and like "Uhhh....". Meanwhile, the two guys next to me just completely lose their sh*t. The one on the right is howling with laughter. The one on the left has his face in his hands and is snorting. The teacher looked at us so confused and all I could say was "...I sneezed."
Pantsed By The Moonwalk
I was at my friend's birthday party and was super drunk. Ran up to a group of people and said "Watch this!
I then proceeded to run and dive into a bounce house only for the Velcro lined entrance to grab my sweats/boxers and pull them down to my ankles.
I'll never forget the looks of horror on their faces while I laid there on my back with my legs in the air showing off all my goodies :(
Don't Build Yellow SandGiphy
I don't know if it was more cringeworthy than embarrassing, but thinking back I definitely grimace...
I was in kindergarten and was playing in the sandbox at recess one day with my friend. We were making a sandcastle but didn't have any sand that was wet enough to form a solid structure.
I had been holding my pee for a while, and being 5 years old I didn't want to stop playing, so i let it out while I was sitting and promptly let my friend know that I had magically found some wet sand that we could build with, and no one was the wiser.
We built a damn good castle.
Nice To Meet You
Recently went on a vacation with some friends + a mutual friend who I don't know that well. Him and I took the pullout couches, and his was right next to the bathroom. Later one night, when we were all walking around away from our hotel, I got the stomach rumbles. Then the nausea hit. I have never felt so sick in my life. It felt like someone was grabbing my insides and twisting them.
The second we got back to our hotel I made a beeline for the bathroom. Through that paper thin wall, this guy I barely knew heard me sh*t pure liquid out of my *ss, cry, and vomit in a trash can in front of me. I spent the rest of the night shivering in bed and making runs to the bathroom. I hit the "been married for a decade" barrier with them in a single night.
Food poisoning is a b*tch.
I Am Your Singing Telegram
My sophomore year of high school I had a crush on a girl that I had a class with. We'd talked a few times but I didn't know her that well. It was around Valentines Day and our school did a thing where you could pay $10 and student volunteers would go sing a song you picked, in class, to whoever you picked, and give them a card.
So instead of approaching her like a normal person for a date I decided to go with the singing Valentine. I plunked down my $10, signed up, and started getting extremely nervous about the next day.
That afternoon I told my friend what I'd done and he started laughing. And laughing. More than if he were just laughing at a bad idea. Finally he told me that the girl had a boyfriend, he was a senior, and I was an idiot.
The next morning I explained the situation to a friend of mine that was involved in the program and after he finished laughing he told me it was too late, singing assignments were out, it was going to happen. My only hope was that, since singers and time are limited, they wouldn't get to mine, which is a thing that would sometimes happen and you got your $10 back and not humiliated.
So our class together rolls around (which of course I had sent it to that one) and I start watching the clock. A couple other people got the singing Valentines but with about 10 minutes left mine still hadn't come.
Then the door opened. And instead of the one person with a boom box we normally had there were three. One was the guy I had begged to cancel it, who gave me the biggest smile as they set up.
Now, song options had been limited. This was before streaming existed so it was just what they happened to have CDs of. I honestly didn't know most of the songs, and didn't want to go sappy, so I went with the one higher tempo song I knew: Wild Thing.
So they announced who the Valentine was for and she blushed, I'm sure assuming it was from her boyfriend. They started singing and she blushed harder. They handed her the card that I had written my name in and her face stopped being pink and went far more red. She looked over at me and all I could do was shrug. After they left she said, out loud, "But I have a boyfriend!" and then everyone knew it was from me. I just muttered that I'd found out too late and happy Valentine's Day and I'm sorry.
That was the most embarrassed I've ever been.
Edit: Well that blew up. To answer a couple questions no we never ended up going out or anything. We're both happily married to other people now. I assume her boyfriend found out but I don't think he knew who I was and I never heard anything from him about it. I don't know if he sent her one in another class or not. Yes my friend is a dick for not cancelling it but that's what friends do. Also thanks for the gold!
Edit2: Looking back the correct play would have been to tell her before class what had happened and tell her to pretend it was from her boyfriend. So if you ever find yourself in this situation I guess do that.
In high school, the homecoming dance was coming up. I happened to confide that I had a crush on a popular girl to another girl in my math class. Unbeknownst to me, they were very good friends and this girl offered to put in a good word for me. The next day she told me my crush would totally say yes if I asked her. So in between periods I found my crush in the hallway, asked her to homecoming, and she said yes! booyah....
Well homecoming is on Saturday, today is Thursday. My crush, her friend and I go to lunch together and I offer to pay in the hopes that will make her like me even more (Yes, I was bad at this). She tells me she wants 2 bags of chips, burger/fries, and a small carton of chocolate milk. No problem. I go to the cafeteria and get those items like a boss. For some reason, I decide to jog over to her even though that really only shaves off like 10 seconds from my trip. I have 2 bags of chips in my mouth, one hand with a burger and fries, the other hand with a carton of chocolate milk.
The girls are sitting in the common area. The common area is carpeted, adjacent to the cafeteria which has a tile floor. these rooms are separated by a relatively small metal line on the floor. As I meet that line, my left foot catches on the metal. No problem, I have another foot, I will just swing that foot forward real quick and save this. Nope, the other foot also catches. As I fall straight forward I instinctively try to catch myself with my hands. Well one hand has chocolate milk in it which promptly bursts, sending chocolate milk in every direction. My other hand didn't help me either, slips on the burger in the bag and the fries go all over the place. The last thing to break my fall is my own face. The face with two bags of lays potato chips in my mouth. You know the jokes about lays chips being full of air? they are true.
As my face collided with the ground, both the bags of chips exploded at the same time. It sounded like a gunshot. somehow one of my shoes flew off. I tried to melt into the floor and fade out of existence for a moment, then peeled my chocolate milk and chip soaked face off the ground. this happened at the meeting point of the common room and the cafeteria, so everyone in both rooms either saw or heard this fiasco and looked over. about 100 students. It's deadly silent for another couple seconds, and then the laughter. Dear god, the laughter. It was like a jet engine. Every person there was laughing the hardest they have ever laughed in their whole lives. I saw the janitor doubled over laughing, bracing himself with a mop handle. A teacher was trying to walk over to help me, but she stopped every couple feet to use her whole body to laugh at me. All of this happens not 10 feet away from the table in which my crush and her friends are sitting. Everyone is having a great laugh, but my crush has the greatest laugh of all. She has fallen to the ground, with one hand bracing herself on her knees. the other hand is clutched at her ribs as she laughs so hard that no sound comes out, wheezing like an asthmatic dolphin.
There is no recovery from this. I walk to the bathroom to clean myself up. The teacher could only manage to hand me my shoe along the way and continue laughing. In the bathroom the laughter didn't die down at all for what seemed like an eternity. When the bell rang I was still in the bathroom, and people were still laughing.
While I spent the whole day wallowing in easily the most embarrassing moment of my life, I thought well maybe i'm the funny guy now and she will like that. The next morning I see my crush before class and she walks up to me. She says "So homecoming is tomorrow." Eager to totally not talk about the sh*tshow yesterday, I just excitedly say "yes, yes it is." She then delivers a crisp "So this guy that I actually like asked me to go to the dance. So I'm gonna go with him" to which I replied "Ah, yeah, that makes sense." I totally did not go in the bathroom and cry after that.
The Shoe Project
I had made a short film that had gotten into a festival and I had to travel down to Busan from Seoul on the fast train - super expensive.
I was looking good, wearing cool clothes including a pair of leather shoes I had thrifted. Bad mistake.
By the time I left the subway in Busan and walked 100 metres towards the theatre (where I was due to give a speech) the top of one of the shoes was starting to flap. I managed to hook my big toe over it to hold it down, but the sides were now lifting up. People I was passing were starting to notice as it looked like I had a club foot. In the end, I had to take the shoe off and throw it away.
I now had one shoe and a limp. This was in an area full of apartments NO SHOPS not even a convenience store.
I hopped along, then the other shoe came apart and I had to throw that away.
What the hell should I do? I'm in an unfamiliar city, shoeless, and on top of that the glue had left big black oily patches on my feet.
I walked shoeless to the theatre (if you know Korea at all you know how well dressed people are). I honestly didn't know what I should do. Not go? Even though I was expected and it would ruin my reputation? I honestly felt like crying.
I made it to the theatre and was ushered to the front before I could explain my situation to my co-director.
I had to give a speech shoe-less and with oily feet to people I was trying to impress.
Then I had to walk to find a store shoe-less.
Not the most embarrassing, but definitely stands out as one of the most hopeless situations I have been in.
(In the end I had to buy shoes from a department store. Not only were they $300 designer sneakers - they were too big so looked like clown shoes. I couldn't sell them because they were full of oil from my dirty feet. Worst trip of my life.)
Every Teenage Boy's NightmareGiphy
I was 15 or 16, sitting at my table in my room, browsing the internet. I had one hand in my pants playing around with my random-boner. It was nothing sexual - I was just keeping my hands occupied as I would if I were tapping my foot or twiddling my thumbs. So I was doing a helicopter, stretching, pulling, etc. At one point, I must have pushed against the shaft too much, because I immediately heard a click as you would hear when cracking your fingers or knuckles and my then-prominent wang started to deflate. I started panicking quite a bit, as you might think, as this had never happened to me before. I did not get a spontaneous boner for the next two or three days after that, which for a teenager, who would get them several times a day, is practically unheard of. I went to Dr. Google and thought that I had a penile fracture, though it did not look at all like the pictures (no purple swelling and no misshapen form). Well, I finally had the courage and sheepishly told my mom about this, and exactly how it happened. She scheduled an appointment to the urologist. I begged her not to go with me (helicopter mom), as I was already so embarrassed.
I went the urologist, and told him about the clicking, the deflation, and the lack of boners for the subsequent couple of days - leaving out exactly what caused it all. He checked me and said, "Yeah, definitely no penile fracture. Just take it easy the next time she is on top."
"Yeah, I actually didn't have sex...."
"So then how did it happen?"
My face went absolutely red and my teenage angst went into overdrive. I sighed and awkwardly explained to him exactly what transpired.
I could tell that my urologist was trying to keep a straight face while I was explaining it to him, but he just started laughing towards the end, apologizing and saying that that was the first time he's ever heard something like that in his 15 years of practicing.
I just wanted to die right then and there.
The Panty Police
In second grade, I decided I didn't like the feel of panties. (No, no sexual backstory or anything like that to this. Just plain didn't like how they felt.) I wore a lot of dresses back then, which made it easy to take them on and off. On the car rides to school, I started removing them and stuffing them in the driver's seat pocket in front of me. And then on the ride home I would put them back on, sometimes. Sometimes I just left them off. One day, my parents confronted me. They'd found some of the panties I ended up just leaving behind in that pocket. From that day on, for a month or more, my dad checked to make sure I was wearing panties before I headed into school. It was super embarrassing.
The Sound Of...Not Silence
The other day my brother was in the bank and waiting in line. While waiting he was playing on his phone checking out Facebook. He came across an auto looping video that had 0-9 going pretty quickly one at a time. It said "See if you can tap to stop it on 0"
So he taps and it goes full screen and turns the sound on and porn sounds start playing loudly out of his phone. He said he panicked and tried to tap and tap and it didn't do anything til he minimized the video and swiped it away or whatever you do to get rid of a video on Facebook.
He said he was so embarrassed. I thought it was hilarious.
Showed up to hang with friends and drink some beer. I saw some Four Lokos at the gas station and decided I had to drink four of them. Don't even remember opening the fourth one, but apparently I drank all four. Got in two fist fights with my friends who were trying to calm me down (Got my *ss beat), cried for like an hour apparently, and ended the night by going into a Waffle House in my underwear holding my socks screaming that my friends wanted me to starve.
Yeah. I would have gone to jail if they weren't good friends. My buddy knocked my *ss out and drove me home. We still joke to this day that we found out what was beyond the fourth Four Loko.
Don't know if it's most embarrassing but definitely most recent.
Last night I took an edible and therefore was pretty baked. I hadn't eaten in a while on top of the munchies from the weed so I needed food badly. I ordered some Taco Bell on Postmates and when the delivery lady came I already knew it was about to be an adventure getting that food. I live in campus housing so on top of interacting with another stranger I knew I'd have to at least somewhat interact with the front desk. I go down to the lobby and sign for my food and I could not tell if the lady needed me to do anything more. I kept taking quick glances unsure of what to do and she 100% thought I was checking her out. She paused and looked over her shoulder at me, and asked me a question that I couldn't quite understand. I didn't know how to react so I just said "no" really quickly and scanned back into the building. Went up to my room and shamefully ate my Taco Bell.
Yuck Yuck Yuck
I honestly hope I am not too late for this thread. So here it goes:
One time in high school I was talking to one of my teachers before class started about how I had some friends who knew his son who went to a school in the town over.
Well, he asked me what they said about his son, and me being the honest idiot it I am, I ask him "Honestly?"
And he says "Yeah."
To which then I reply, "They said he smokes a lot of weed." Everyone erupts around me because they all had been listening in on the convo, and to my horror I realized what I had just done.
My teacher responds, "No, he only smokes a little weed." He was honestly cool with it and the only teacher that would be ok with me saying something like that. I wasn't really that embarrassed in the moment because it was funny.
But looking back I cringe to high-heaven. Such a dumb thing to say. Yuck.
The False Dad Effect
I have two older sisters, they are 10 and 7 years older than me. I was around 10 when this happened.
It was coming up to summer, my mum asked me to look through all my holiday stuff to see how they fit in case I needed anything new ahead of our holiday.
I had a swimsuit on, and found my tutu from when I did ballet (when I was about 4/5), I squeezed into my tutu and went into my oldest sister's room to show her how ridiculous I looked. She told me that our other sister was downstairs studying for her final exams and she's so stressed, it would cheer her up to see me like that.
So we went downstairs, Sister 1 told me "Jump in and shout 'TA-DA!'", so I did, it went like this:
Me: (jumping in through the door) TA-D.... Oh. Hi Dad... Wait. You're not dad. AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
Sister no. 2 had a friend call over and she was chatting to him, sister no. 1 was aware of this fact and set me up for failure.
Everyone has insecurities.
Be it speaking in public, wearing beach attire, or even one's profession, very few people don't have at least one topic of conversation that is bound to make them red in the face.
Some people are pretty adept at hiding their discomfort and can manage to persevere through their phobias with their dignity intact.
Others are not so lucky and often go to great lengths to hide their insecurities, only to make them even more apparent.
"What screams 'I’m insecure'?"
The Wisest People Are Those Always Willing To Learn
"When people are unable to admit that they don’t know something."- slimytoadsnot listening no way GIFGiphy
Other People's Success Are Not Your Failures
"Mocking someone else's achievement."- SuvenPan
Never Pick Yourself Up By Taking Others Down
"Belittling others."- Term-Haunting
"Always talking badly about others and trying to make them look weak/bad."- PildithThe Simpsons GIF by MOODMANGiphy
Maybe Honesty Isn't Always The Best Policy...
"When you're quick to be 'brutally honest' with others, but have a meltdown when someone does it back to you."-eF240uKX52hp
Not As Funny As They Think...
"People who tear other people down as a joke but then get mad when they get it handed back to them."
"Clearly they either aren’t joking or are too sensitive to be dishing out sh*t."- babythrottlepop
Being On Top Adds More Possibilities Of Falling Down...
"Trying to one-up people in every conversation."- Flanky_Bwai
"One upping people in conversation."
"If I tell you I had a great trip to X place, I don’t need to hear about your better trip to someplace else that’s ostensibly 'better'."- I_Am_The_Grapevinekristen wiig television GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
Some Things Speak For Themselves...
"Constantly saying what kind of person you are."
"If you were, you wouldn’t have to tell us."- ubereddit
A Little Contrition Goes A Long Way...
"Making excuses and even twisting the facts but never apologize."- SuvenPan
But Enough About Me, What Do You Think Of Me?
"Constant projection and self-serving compliments."- nhabzLook At Me Kiki GIF by The Bachelor AustraliaGiphy
What Are They Even Trying To Prove?
"Revving your vehicle loudly every time you pass another person."- msnmck
Superior By Association
“'You will address me by my husband’s rank!'”- Psychological-Stay16
"Elaborate Instagram and Facebook posts declaring love for one’s significant other over and over and over."- jbmaunHappy Married At First Sight GIF by LifetimeGiphy
Always Needing Validation
"People who can’t think or feel anything without being told that it’s okay to do so."- Diesel07012012
It's sad that so many people think the only way to overcome something which makes them embarrassed or afraid is by embarrassing or demeaning others.
When being open and honest about your insecurities might, instead, result in your finding common ground with others.
And making new, lifelong friends in the process.
People Confess Which Things From Their Childhood They Thought Were Normal Until They Were An Adult
Every family has customs or traditions which are unique to them.
Be it all gathering together to watch The Muppet Christmas Carol every Christmas eve or an annual fried chicken picnic with dark and stormies every fourth of July. They are well aware not everyone does this, which makes it all the more special.
However, depending on the way it was introduced to them, some children are raised to think certain customs or habits done by their family are, indeed, normal.
Only to grow up and realize that theirs might have been the only family in the world which partook in them.
In some cases, this discovery is met with laughs and maybe the tiniest bit of embarrassment.
Other times, it's no laughing matter.
"What's something about your childhood that you thought was normal at the time but realiszd as an adult that it wasn't?"
Seemed Like A Good Idea, Until You Read Why...
"Having a cooler in the car."
"My parents always packed one, there were cokes and waters in it."
"The weird part was there was also always beer in it."
"Didn't matter if we were going 12 hours or 1 hour, they packed a cooler."
"Didn't realize how much my mom was drinking until years later when she become a non-functioning alcoholic."- IslandsOnTheCoast·
Dad Of The Year!
"When i was a kid I thought that all the Korean candy stores were free."
"Like you could go in, take what you wanted and leave."
"I would make friends with other Korean kids, take them to my favorite candy stores and tell them to help themselves. which they did."
"So apparently, whenever we'd visit my family in Korea, my dad would talk to all the candy shop owners in the neighborhood and tell them to put anything me or my friends took, on a tab."
"Maybe it was because i barely even spoke korean, but that whole situation just seemed perfectly f*ckin normal to my oblivious little self."- yaybunz
Boundaries Exist For A Reason
"In hind sight I realize that what I thought was 'freedom' was actually neglect."
"Kids aren't supposed to be left to themselves in such a degree that they end up raising themselves."
"From personal experience doing so leads to a lot of misunderstandings on how things are supposed to be."- Hattkake·
A Little Sensitivity Does Go A Long Way
"Being really sensitive to people's emotions because you never know if they could be in a bad mood."
"Turns out I learned that from my dad to make sure I don't make it worse."- UpstairsDifficult966
Think Carefully If You Have What It Takes To Be A Parent...
"Parents aren't supposed to make fun of their kids, complain about what they have to do for their children, and break down when they don't feel validated by their own child."- Doobledorf
"My mom never cooked, and there would be a lot of nights where I went without food because she didn't buy any."
"I thought it was normal for a mom to sleep the majority of the day."
"In reality she was always f*cked up on painkillers."
"Then, with my grandmother, she was controlling over whatever clothes, shoes, and how my hair looked."
"I always had to look like a good Christian boy."- Additional-Soup3853
"I was in college before I learned that you don't have to get your mother a gift for your birthday because 'she's the one that did all the work that day'."- lylertila
Kind Of Sad To Think Self-Sufficiency Is So Rare...
"Being able to fix things myself."
"My dad is an engineer and throughout my childhood we'd come up with random creative projects to build stuff, he'd show me how to fix things and what safety precautions to look out for."
"Now if something happens at my flat I know how to fix it (or I call my dad and he'll guide me)."
"My boyfriend and friends have no idea how I know this stuff or how to do these things themselves, I always thank my Dad!"
"It's great because I get to save a lot of money, and I've saved money for my friends too!"
"Also, it means a lot to me because at the time and the town I was in girls weren't encouraged to do engineering, but my dad didn't care."
'I was little girl and thought it was essential for me to know how to do these things myself."
'I think he also hoped I'd one day become an engineer!"- imhere2913
Sadly, Not As Common As You Thiink...
"My parents were happily married and our home was happy and loving."- IllChampionship5
"Actually liking your parents/siblings/family."
"Almost everyone I know can't stand the people they grew up with, which I find strange."- ThatDukeGuy
Making A Custom Even More Meaningful
"Every Christmas my parents would buy me and my siblings one Christmas ornament to decorate the tree, which typically highlighted a special event or something important or a topic we were highly interested in that year."
"The tree started off rather bare at first, but after five kids and twenty-five years, that thing was filled from top to bottom, and shows a history of our lives."
"I thought it was how everyone decorated family home Christmas trees for awhile, but apparently it’s pretty unique to us."- RummelNation
Leading To A Massive Vocabulary No Doubt...
"Having a room full of dictionaries."
"I was baffled when I met kids in secondary school (as an adult doing a teacher training course at the time) who didn't even understand the basics of how to use one in their own language, let alone a two-language one."
"My dad was a translator so growing up it was just a normal thing, and I would sometimes just take one and look up random words in different languages for fun."- MrLuxarina
Unbelievable That This Isn't Normal
"Being taught to care about everybody, regardless of race, religion, or politics."
"We were lower middle-class farmers and we played with everyone."
"Everybody was welcome in my parents home."
"We had a ginormous garden and my parents gave our neighbors food out of it."
"My parents taught if you give out love, it’s returned 10 fold."
"Needless to say that bit us in the butt some times."
"But my parents died living and believing that."- SCGranny64
Not Exactly Normal, But Far too Commonplace
"When it would rain we would put pots and pans down to catch the drips."
'I would be sent to go have a slumber party with cousins whenever the electricity would get cut off due to nonpayment."
"I thought it was commonplace for people to go thru stuff like that."- RacksDiciprine
Ultimately, everyone's childhood is unique.
Many are grateful to learn just how unusual or special their childhood is.
For others, the discovery proves to be far too little too late.
Do you have something to add? Let us know in the comments.
People Share The All-Time Funniest Examples Of Misheard Lyrics They've Ever Heard
It might be super easy to find the lyrics to a song now that we've all got the entirety of the internet in our pockets, but it didn't used to be so simple. Unless you owned the album, and it was one that actually came with the lyrics on the sleeve/in the case, you just kind of had to guess if the words were unclear.
This led to some extremely amusing, and sometimes mortifyingly embarrassing, misheard lyrics.
Redditor 23andrewb asked:
"What's the your favorite example of misheard lyrics?"
"Jimi Hendix Purple Haze: ''scuse me while I kiss this guy'"
"Roommate back in the day, who would have been about 18 in 1970, told me that Hendrix was aware of the alternate interpretation, and he would gesture at Noel Redding and say ''scuse me while I kiss this guy.'"
Bad Moon Rising
"CCR - bad mood rising 'There's a bathroom on the right.'"
"That's what I thought as a kid. Still say it now because it's funny."
What A Wonderful World
"I see skies of blue And clouds of white The bright blessed day The dogs say goodnight"
"I woke up my dog laughing at this one."
"Did the dog say good night?"
Why Is Everyone Singing About Lorain?
"I want to know, have you ever seen Lorain."
"I can see Clearly now, Lorain is gone!"
"And I wonder, still I wonder. Who'll stop Lorain."
"I can't stand Lorain, on my window..."
"As a child I used to sing 'I can see clearly now Lorraine has gone' and always wondered what poor Lorraine did that was so bad."
Gimme The Beach Boys
"Give me The Beach Boys and free my soul, I wanna get lost in your Rock and Roll…"
"Wait that’s not the actual lyric?"
"Hahah. Nope! Beat Boys"
Moves Like Jagger
"'remove my jacket' Instead of 'moves like jagger' Boy I felt dumb."
"Moobs like Jagger."
"I’ve got the moose vagina! I got that moose vagina! I got that moOose vagina"
"I guess it rains down in Africa?"
"I’m still somewhat embarrassed to say that I thought it was 'god bless the maids down in Africa'. Thought it was some sort of weird political statement."
"I wept the drains down in aaafrica isn't right then?"
"I always heard it as 'I miss the rains down in Africa' and thought that sounded so lovely and melancholic. I was so disappointed by the real lyric lmao"
Hit Me With Your Best Shot
"Hit me with a wet sock, FIRE AWAY!!!!!"
"Sweet dreams are made of cheese, who am i to disagree"
"Can't argue that!"
Applause ... or Applesauce?
"When I was 14 my dad was driving me to my boyfriends house. On the way over “Applause” by Lady Gaga came on & my dad sang 'I live for the applesauce applesauce applesauce.' I busted out laughing and mocking him."
"Laughed so hard he turned the car around and took me home."
"Regulate - Nate Dogg + Warren G. "I can't believe, they're taking Lawrence Welk".
"I used to hear this song and wonder 'Why is a smooth Gangsta like Warren G listening to Lawrence Welk, and why are these thugs stealing his Lawrence Welk records specifically?'"
"Then someone corrected me. 'They're taking Warren's wealth.'"
Here I Go Again
"Song: "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake. Lyric: 'Like a drifter I was born to wear cologne'"
"My favorite misheard lyric is 'Hold me closer, Tony Danza' instead of 'Hold me closer, tiny dancer' by Elton John."
"Count the head lice on the highway."
Reelin' In The Years
"Steely Dan, instead of 'Are you reelin' in the years?', got 'Are you really into yeast?'"
"I always heard 'reelin' in the East' but like your version better, lol"
You Oughta Know
"'It's not fair, to deny me Of the crosseyed bear that you gave to me You, you, you oughta know' -Alanis Morissette"
"How could you take her crosseyed bear Dave Coulier"
Have you ever embarrassingly misheard the lyrics to a song? How long did it take for you to realize, or for someone to correct you? Let us know in the comments.
All jobs are important. If they weren’t, those jobs wouldn’t exist.
However, some people view their profession as so important that they begin to develop a superiority complex.
This can be true for all professions, but Redditors maintain it’s more common in certain professions.
It all started when Redditor nameisMark asked:
“What profession attracts douchebags the most?”
“Clerks in high-end fashion boutiques. So snotty and pretentious, I mean...you work for them, you are NOT them. And most likely your clients are wealthier than you. Chill the f**k down.”
“Some are fine but others act like youre the one who doesnt belong there. Like lol bruh you just work there. It's not like you can even afford anything inside. Which is no big deal but don't act like you're gatekeeping that store”
“Love the folks in high-end watch stores who have a huge ego about working at the mall and can’t afford a single product there.”
"I remember when I bought my first house. COULD have bought one much sooner, but was just doing the young person thing of moving around for job promotions, etc. (Keep in mind, I was still only 29 when the below story happened.)"
"I was not/am not definitely not part of the generation that considered (outside of work) dressing down as wearing some khakis and a button up. Nope. I'll wear my sweats and a hoodie. Thanks."
"Anyway, I went to the furniture store closest (less than five minutes away) not because it seemed like the nicest place, but because it was close. A salesman asks "Can you afford anything in here?" The very stereotypical salesman - either in his 50s or aged terribly, probably weighed 2x-3x more than me, can tell he has 14 cents in his savings account - too. Not like some world-class salesman working on Wall Street."
"I wanted to tell him I had more money in my pocket than he has in his entire life, but I just turned around and walked away."
The Clique Game
"Doctor here. Nearly half or more of my colleagues are a**holes"
"Medicine and the hospital environment is high school all over again, and the lounge is the cafeteria."
"The academic system they pass through to get to medical school does not reward good personality or balance."
Please Don't Convince Me
"Any sales job. The competitive nature of the job means that the more confident and pushy you are, the more successful you are. It draws a certain personality type."
"Assumptive language is one of the most off-putting aspects of the dating world, imo. If I get the feeling you’re trying to sell me on going out/going home with you I definitely don’t want to."
Power Over The People
"Anybody in the criminal justice system. The amount of power they have over the general public or incarcerated individuals is horrifying and exploited far too often. These people also tend to adopt a gang mentality worse than the people they arrest"
"Speaking as someone who’s got incarcerated immediate family, 80% prison guards my family has dealt with are violent thugs and should be in prison themselves for the heinous things theyve done."
"I'm A Professional"
"Fitness trainers… particularly male ones. My f*cking god. I don’t know if it’s the steroids or testosterone but jesus christ."
"Honestly I’m a female persona trainer, but the first interview I had with a male fitness trainer was awful. He kept talking about how he basically knew everything there was to know in the fitness industry, which is ridiculous because it’s an ever evolving science. Anyway, if I’m generalizing I completely agree. Although I have met some extremely kind male fitness trainers as well."
"Internet and Phone companies. (Rogers/Bell in Canada)"
"I don't know about most but I am starting to really not like civil engineers. My current pick."
Abuse Of Power
"bouncers. And I've never been in trouble with the law in my life or been in a fight etc but I've seen enough of them in action just being abusive power trippers and escalating situations needlessly. It's often akin to school yard bullying."
Money, Money, Money
"anything to do with money: bank, insurance ...etc"
"How has no one said finance, my goodness."
"Kimberly may be busy posting pictures of her "girl boss" mug while boasting about her ability to run her own company on her own time while being a super mom but I dont want her ugly leggings, crappy skincare or oil of oregano I can use to cure asthma, crowsfeet and the flu. Kimber is insufferable and I need to go to my real job that actually pays the bills."
"I'm Your Biggest Fan"
"This should be way higher. Paparazzi are scum."
"Hey that’s not fair what did pizza ever do to you"
What Happened To Beside Manner?
“Worked healthcare IT.
I've never met a surgeon that who wasn't putting literally every bit of effort they had into "The World's Biggest D-bag" contest.”
“I met one briefly who wore a big medallion, presumably by choice”
Yeah, I saw that coming!
Do you have any more to add? Let us know in the comments below.