Guys, it took me way too long to get my love life together. I don't learn. You ever have one of those relationships where you know everything that's happening is messed up but you still don't leave? I had a dude dump a bowl of popcorn over my head at a restaurant once. Think I left? Nope. I married him.
Looking back, that absolutely should have been a moment where I bailed out (I did, eventually and I'm SO GOOD right now, calm down guys) but like I said, I don't learn. So when one Reddit user posted:
What is the most "F*ck This I'm out" moment of your relationship?
I knew I owed it to myself (and those among you who are also clueless hot messes) to learn everything I could and share it. So of course I was all up in the responses like:
Here are some of the more popular, messier, more ridiculous responses. Learn well, guys. Learn well.
The Thief
He stole my debit card and traded it to his dealer for some methadone then helped me look for it when I panicked.
Eventually I saw him laughing with his dealer via text that he helped me look for my card. I confronted him about it and he was mad at me for looking at a text over his shoulder.
Yeah, bye bud.
Thing is, that wasn't even really the worst of it. That was just the straw that broke the camel's back. His parents locked EVERYTHING including the garage and the pantry. He would sell ANYTHING. He sold his xbox, my Nintendo 64 (tried to convince me I took it back home with me), his moms jewelry, his dads tools, anything in his grandmothers home... literally anything. My parents wouldn't allow him in their house. This particular time it was methadone but he also sold stolen belongings for weed, booze, plant food, X - literally anything he could get his hands on for the high.
I once found him staggering down the highway nearly falling down because he was so high. I have so many terrifying stories. So. Many.
Eventually I got him into a treatment facility for a 30 day detox/treatment that he obviously wasn't taking seriously. Apparently they still let you have nicotine in treatment and he rolled a few joints in cigarette casings. No one checked apparently to see if he brought anything in. I arranged that after the completion of that program he would be placed in a halfway house situation to "continue his sobriety."
Once he was in a safe place I walked away. I told him that I couldn't build his life for him but I gave him all the tools. Told him I loved him and to call me after 5 years sobriety.
He was a very manipulative person, as most addicts are. His whole family was like that, though. His mom at one point told me if he failed it was my fault. I was 18 and wanted to help people. After I left him he stalked me for 2 years (changing his phone number constantly, showing up at my work, writing me letters, having his friends show up places I was and take pictures of me, even convinced a new girlfriend to stalk me and try to ruin my life) and eventually went to jail on probation violations. Wrote me letters from jail that I never even read. I just threw them away. It has been 7 years since I walked away. Last time he contacted me was a little over a year ago. 10 days before my wedding day in fact. I told him I was getting married and he hung up. Haven't heard from him since.
- HiImDana
Take A Nap
When he went on a business trip for a week and I decided to surprise him at the airport (he told me when his flight got in) so he wouldn't have to Uber an hour home. I waited down at baggage claim and his coworkers looked shocked to see me. I asked where Josh was and his boss said "Wait- he didn't tell you?! He left the convention early- his father is in the hospital! He came back two days ago!"
His father wasn't in the hospital. I called him and acted like nothing was wrong. He told me had just landed 15 minutes prior (and it was a bumpy flight). I asked him where he was, and he said about to leave the airport. I said "That's funny-- because I'm standing right outside the lower level exit!"
He went silent. Long story short, he said he came home two days early because he "wanted to take a nap. " He told me he had gotten a hotel room instead of just going home so he would be able to get good sleep. Dude then blamed ME, saying "Well, you shouldn't have picked me up from the airport without telling me you were going to! If you didn't there wouldn't be a problem!" That's when I got the fuck out of that relationship. He was clearly cheating on me.
Two months later I got my confirmation - the girl was pregnant. He ended up marrying her, switched jobs, and moved across the country.
It's been a long time, and he's recently started trying to contact me again. He was coming back to my area on a business trip, and said he could stay a couple extra days so we could spend time together. I asked him how his wife would feel about that, and he said she didn't have to know, he would just tell her his trip was longer than it actually was.
All these years later, and he's still trying to use the exact same method to cheat on his wife as he did to me. The wife he cheated on me with! Pathetic. I've blocked him from my phone and email.
- elle___
Game Of Thrones
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She still went over to her ex's house "to watch Game of Thrones." They're now married.
- [deleted]
The Roof
When she said she cheated on me "to provide for our daughter and make sure she had a roof over her head". I was working full time and staying with my family, we had money AND a roof.
We Don't Talk
She didn't speak to me for a 2 weeks solid, didn't answer my calls or texts. I was really confused because I didn't do anything wrong. Then she rings me up out of the blue, crying asking me why we don't speak anymore.
YOU STOPPED REPLYING TO MY TEXTS AND CALLS AND THEN WONDER WHY WE DON'T TALK!?
see ya
- kezzerb
Pause
He tried to convince me to just take a break for two weeks so he could f*ck other girls while he was on vacation.
Bucket Of Snails
She got drunk and started calling me all sorts of mean things such as fat and a "c*ck sucking bucket of snails"
Needless to say it didn't last very long.
Bending The Rules
He ruined my birthday by being a stickler for rules. They didn't matter and everyone just wanted to have fun. My younger brother is on the autism spectrum. A small group of us were playing Monopoly and he absolutely refused to bend the rules so my brother could play, too. All we wanted was to make things simpler so my brother could keep up.
My ex sat there spewing some hurtful crap like "You can't bend the rules just because someone has a disability! Real life doesn't work that way!"
He was intentionally making my brother cry and didn't care that it was leading to a meltdown. We literally only wanted to bend 2-3 rules of the game, and it wasn't much, it was just so my brother could keep playing and having fun, too. He was being intentionally cruel to my brother because he didn't want him to play with us.
I'm so glad I dumped him. On Valentine's day two years later he sent me a text from his new number saying that he missed me. I blocked his ass.
The Dog
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We were getting ready for bed one night and I went to wash my face. When I came back he was already in bed. I smelled something burning and jumped up thinking there was a fire or something in the apartment. Searched everywhere, he helped me look! But he kept telling me he thought everything was fine and to just come to bed. Went to kiss my dog goodnight in her cage, the top of her head smelled like burnt hair. He wouldn't admit to anything, but it was clear he had somehow burnt her fur.
We dated a few more weeks where he started getting increasingly jealous of my dog, claiming I paid more attention to her than him. We had only been dating 5-6 months and my dog was about 8 years old, sorry bud. She wins.
He came over one day and my dog was suddenly scared of him, she's not scared of anyone. Broke up with him that night. I'm pretty sure he had done something to her and if she didn't like him, that was all I needed to know.
Later, he claimed he did accidentally burn her by dropping weed from his bowl onto her head while she was in her cage. I don't believe that and I'm pretty sure he's a psychopath. Dodged a bullet with that one.
A Hyphen
It may sound minor, but it was an important moment for me.
We were in the stage where marriage was on the table. I mentioned that I planned to hyphenate my last name with his on legal documents. He turned on a dime, from the sweet, intelligent man I thought I knew to a vicious, sexist asshole.
We were driving in a car and he started speeding dangerously and screaming that he would never "allow" any wife of his to have a hyphenated name because "everyone knows" women who did that were bitches, and anyone who ever saw it would know that he was whipped.
That was a huge WTF moment. I wasn't ready to throw in the towel at that second, but that conversation was the turning point which opened my eyes to who he was.
What's your "WTF I'm out of here" moment?
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.