Urine A Lot Of Trouble

Convinced my friend to shock the head of his penis with a Barbecue igniter. He instantly started peeing. Luckily we were in traffic in the back of his brothers mini-van. That was a fun ride home.

frankrizzo24

He Asked And She Delivered

This is very specific so I hope he doesn't see this... but I convinced a man that delivered pizzas who wouldn't leave me alone to bring me a free pizza in exchange for "nudes" that he would not stop harassing me for. I searched "naked girl" on google and put a sticker over the face. He told me I looked amazing, dropped a pizza at my front door and I told him I was too embarrassed to see him after sending him such naughty photos. Army crawled to the front door and snatched my pizza up. Tasted good.

Ocula

Don't Let Door Hit You On The Way In

I once told a buddy of mine that automatic doors will always open no matter how fast you run at them. That's all it took.

PerpetualCamel

I knew a buddy like that, he ended up dislocating his arm and breaking his nose. He threw a boiling mushroom at me and we called it even.

LilyKinoshita

Putting His Foot In His Mouth

I once had a friend that I met on a Minecraft server. We spoke almost every single day on skype with a few other people we met on the server. This kid was a little sh*t, I'm not talking about the kind of kid that pokes fun at others for his own amusement. No, this kid is one of the biggest *ssholes I have ever had the displeasure of conversing with to this day. One day I was Video Skyping this boy and dared him to eat a sock. To my amusement he did just that! He stripped his sock from his foot and began to stuff his mouth with his sweaty foot cover. The next thing I knew I was watching this kid vomit out the sock I just watched him consume, laugh nonchalantly, and continue with our Minecraft deeds. Robert, if you're reading this, what the f*ck was going on in your head that day?

reillyj99

His Lecture Was A Huge Hit

We had this really old professor come to teach us at school. Technology hated him, would freeze or shut down. He was using the classroom laptop when it froze on him and he starts fiddling and cursing while the class starts laughing. So I called out to him to hit it.

He smashed that thing to bits.

Silvfer

Wizards and technology don't mix.

lydsbane

Here, Hold My Beer...

Convinced a dumb*ss if you put a dime in a beer bottle and shake it around for five minutes it creates a bunch of micro-fractures and makes the bottle super easy to break over your head.

Guy did it for fifteen minutes and attempted to smash the bottles on his forehead. Went to the hospital and got nine stitches.

NothingBurgerNoCals

You're Definitely Going To Hell For This

Oh man, I hope he's not on here, but here goes. Years ago, I worked with this really weird nerdy guy. One day he mentioned that Jaina Solo (Han and Leia's daughter in the Star Wars books who's a Jedi or whatever) was his dream girl. One of my other co-workers and I were laughing about this later and co-worker suggested we get him to write an essay about it. So I was talking with the weirdo and was pretending like I was really curious about why he likes Jaina Solo and asked if he could write an essay about it, to which he (perhaps surprisingly) agreed. Every day after that, I would ask him, "Hey 'weirdo', did you write the essay?". Well, a few days later, lo and behold, he comes in with an essay. And by essay, I mean multiple pages with pictures and quotes from the books. It was amazing. I still have it.

chester_van_d

I'm going to hell for this, but OK:

http://imgur.com/gallery/fhLvTPE

In case you're wondering, guy got fired a little while later. Our supervisor never told us why, but I suspect it was either because he wouldn't stop sexually harassing our co-worker despite being told to stop, or because he wasn't doing the majority of his work. Probably a little of both a. and b.

chester_van_d

What A Prick

To "bleed his knife", I have to point out we stopped him before he did it but he was fully prepared to do it. Basically this FNG in our kitchen got a new knife and me and a co-worker told him it's tradition to cut yourself a little so the knife tastes your blood and it won't cut you again accidentally. Yes we are assholes and looking back I feel bad about it.

tamano42

This Razed A Lot Of Eyebrows

My friend passed out at a party and some guy wanted to shave her eyebrows off as a prank. I told him "only if you shave yours first" AND HE DID.

I immediately woke her up and we all just laughed at him.

galwaygirl3

I can imagine the conversation... "Dude, dude. Bro. You can't just shave her eyebrows. She'll suspect you first! You gotta shave YOUR eyebrows first! When she wakes up, she'll never suspect the guy with no eyebrows!"

Vachenzo

It Burns!

A friend in high school thought that since he ate a lot of spicy foods that pepper spray wouldn't effect him. We convinced him to let us test this theory with some police-grade pepper spray acquired from a sheriff uncle of another friend.

This was February with snow on the ground. I gave him a spray across both eyes and, as he screamed, got him with another shot in the mouth. He ended up taking off his coat and shirt and spraying himself in the face with the garden hose.

There he was, laying in the snow, shirtless, shaking like a leaf with all manner of goo pouring out of his face.

nicefella7969

A Race To The Bottom

I had the doors off my jeep and these high school kids in a beat up Civic pull up next to me at a red light blasting sh*tty SoundCloud rap music and dancing. I literally just glanced at them and one kid said, "What are you looking at?" I laughed and said, "I bet this old Jeep could embarrass your Civic in a race to the next light." (Ultimate bluff, my Jeep is slow as hell) When the light turned green they took off and I smiled as the cop they didn't notice behind them did his job as intended. Felt good, very good.

ObamasRetirementPlan

Par For The Coarse

Attempt to remove freckles with sandpaper.

Reticent09

Man, I hate it when I get sand in my cheeks.

An_Apache_Helicopter

It really does get everywhere doesn't it?

Comeoffit321

Some Mistakes Can't Be Erased, Oh Wait...

When I was in high school we all had laptops with little cold-restart buttons on the back of the machines. We told all the non-computer people it was an automatic save button. We were getting people with that for about a fortnight until the teachers started yelling at us for making people lose their work.

klingers

Gullible Is Written On The Ceiling 

Told them if they look into the neck of a beer bottle and to the bottom when holding it up to the light that there is a code to tell them if they one a free one. All they got was beer swill in the face or eye

Toke A Moment

Smoke anything we put in a pipe.

He smoked hair.

3lli3

Once got a friend to smoke dried dog sh*t.

whatsamajig

That is... really something.

3lli3

It's Labrador man...

Terriblarious