Let's be honest, we all make bad choices, but it's often our 'friends' who are the ones who've persuaded us to take that dare or do that risky thing we wouldn't have done otherwise. Even the most intelligent people can act the fool, and the consequences often range from humiliating to just painful. It's all in good fun most of the time, but some of these are just plain evil.
Redditor u/3lli3 Ask:
What is the dumbest thing you've ever convinced someone to do?
Urine A Lot Of Trouble
Convinced my friend to shock the head of his penis with a Barbecue igniter. He instantly started peeing. Luckily we were in traffic in the back of his brothers mini-van. That was a fun ride home.
He Asked And She Delivered
This is very specific so I hope he doesn't see this... but I convinced a man that delivered pizzas who wouldn't leave me alone to bring me a free pizza in exchange for "nudes" that he would not stop harassing me for. I searched "naked girl" on google and put a sticker over the face. He told me I looked amazing, dropped a pizza at my front door and I told him I was too embarrassed to see him after sending him such naughty photos. Army crawled to the front door and snatched my pizza up. Tasted good.
Don't Let Door Hit You On The Way In
I once told a buddy of mine that automatic doors will always open no matter how fast you run at them. That's all it took.
I knew a buddy like that, he ended up dislocating his arm and breaking his nose. He threw a boiling mushroom at me and we called it even.
Putting His Foot In His Mouth
I once had a friend that I met on a Minecraft server. We spoke almost every single day on skype with a few other people we met on the server. This kid was a little sh*t, I'm not talking about the kind of kid that pokes fun at others for his own amusement. No, this kid is one of the biggest *ssholes I have ever had the displeasure of conversing with to this day. One day I was Video Skyping this boy and dared him to eat a sock. To my amusement he did just that! He stripped his sock from his foot and began to stuff his mouth with his sweaty foot cover. The next thing I knew I was watching this kid vomit out the sock I just watched him consume, laugh nonchalantly, and continue with our Minecraft deeds. Robert, if you're reading this, what the f*ck was going on in your head that day?
His Lecture Was A Huge Hit
We had this really old professor come to teach us at school. Technology hated him, would freeze or shut down. He was using the classroom laptop when it froze on him and he starts fiddling and cursing while the class starts laughing. So I called out to him to hit it.
He smashed that thing to bits.
Wizards and technology don't mix.
Here, Hold My Beer...
Convinced a dumb*ss if you put a dime in a beer bottle and shake it around for five minutes it creates a bunch of micro-fractures and makes the bottle super easy to break over your head.
Guy did it for fifteen minutes and attempted to smash the bottles on his forehead. Went to the hospital and got nine stitches.
You're Definitely Going To Hell For This
Oh man, I hope he's not on here, but here goes. Years ago, I worked with this really weird nerdy guy. One day he mentioned that Jaina Solo (Han and Leia's daughter in the Star Wars books who's a Jedi or whatever) was his dream girl. One of my other co-workers and I were laughing about this later and co-worker suggested we get him to write an essay about it. So I was talking with the weirdo and was pretending like I was really curious about why he likes Jaina Solo and asked if he could write an essay about it, to which he (perhaps surprisingly) agreed. Every day after that, I would ask him, "Hey 'weirdo', did you write the essay?". Well, a few days later, lo and behold, he comes in with an essay. And by essay, I mean multiple pages with pictures and quotes from the books. It was amazing. I still have it.
I'm going to hell for this, but OK:
http://imgur.com/gallery/fhLvTPE
In case you're wondering, guy got fired a little while later. Our supervisor never told us why, but I suspect it was either because he wouldn't stop sexually harassing our co-worker despite being told to stop, or because he wasn't doing the majority of his work. Probably a little of both a. and b.
What A Prick
To "bleed his knife", I have to point out we stopped him before he did it but he was fully prepared to do it. Basically this FNG in our kitchen got a new knife and me and a co-worker told him it's tradition to cut yourself a little so the knife tastes your blood and it won't cut you again accidentally. Yes we are assholes and looking back I feel bad about it.
This Razed A Lot Of Eyebrows
My friend passed out at a party and some guy wanted to shave her eyebrows off as a prank. I told him "only if you shave yours first" AND HE DID.
I immediately woke her up and we all just laughed at him.
I can imagine the conversation... "Dude, dude. Bro. You can't just shave her eyebrows. She'll suspect you first! You gotta shave YOUR eyebrows first! When she wakes up, she'll never suspect the guy with no eyebrows!"
It Burns!
A friend in high school thought that since he ate a lot of spicy foods that pepper spray wouldn't effect him. We convinced him to let us test this theory with some police-grade pepper spray acquired from a sheriff uncle of another friend.
This was February with snow on the ground. I gave him a spray across both eyes and, as he screamed, got him with another shot in the mouth. He ended up taking off his coat and shirt and spraying himself in the face with the garden hose.
There he was, laying in the snow, shirtless, shaking like a leaf with all manner of goo pouring out of his face.
A Race To The Bottom
I had the doors off my jeep and these high school kids in a beat up Civic pull up next to me at a red light blasting sh*tty SoundCloud rap music and dancing. I literally just glanced at them and one kid said, "What are you looking at?" I laughed and said, "I bet this old Jeep could embarrass your Civic in a race to the next light." (Ultimate bluff, my Jeep is slow as hell) When the light turned green they took off and I smiled as the cop they didn't notice behind them did his job as intended. Felt good, very good.
Par For The Coarse
Attempt to remove freckles with sandpaper.
Man, I hate it when I get sand in my cheeks.
It really does get everywhere doesn't it?
Some Mistakes Can't Be Erased, Oh Wait...
When I was in high school we all had laptops with little cold-restart buttons on the back of the machines. We told all the non-computer people it was an automatic save button. We were getting people with that for about a fortnight until the teachers started yelling at us for making people lose their work.
Gullible Is Written On The Ceiling
Told them if they look into the neck of a beer bottle and to the bottom when holding it up to the light that there is a code to tell them if they one a free one. All they got was beer swill in the face or eye
Toke A Moment
Smoke anything we put in a pipe.
He smoked hair.
Once got a friend to smoke dried dog sh*t.
Are we being lazy or is it self-care?
That is what you should ask yourself first, before you judge.
Life is an arduous journey and a constant energy suck.
It was inevitable we'd find shortcuts to get by.
It's all about survival.
Redditor Batman_In_Peacetime wanted to hear about the times we just didn't care enough to try harder. They asked:
"What is a lazy thing you began doing when you realised you can live with it?"
I'm best when I'm at my laziest. Ok, that's a lie, but I don't care.
Zzzz...
"On weekends I sleep for 12-14 hours. I usually wake up a few times but I dream so much during those long sleeps that it’s basically become a recreation type thing and I love it."
HouseOfZenith
Warm it up...
"When I use the microwave, I’ll heat food for 1:11 or 2:22 because I can’t be bothered to move my lazy fingers."
fysicks
"I figured out that my microwave's turntable rotates once every 12 seconds. So, everything I cook is on a multiple of 12 seconds so that it always ends up at the front of the microwave when it's done cooking, and I don't have to reach all the way to the back of the microwave to get my food out."
unittwentyfive
Bang
"When I was a kid on a school day, I had this routine where I'd stick my legs out of the bed and bang around on the floor so it sounded like I got out of bed and then just lie there for a few more minutes."
bewarethechameleon
"Did you also get your toothbrush wet and squirt a wee bit of toothpaste in your mouth rather than actually brush your teeth? If so I may be your mom and you weren’t fooling me or the dentist and you sure weren’t fooling the plaque that attacked."
TigerLily98226
Pockets
"Whenever I clean the house I put on my housecoat with really big pockets. I just walk from room to room and put things in my pocket that don’t belong in that room. Once my pockets are full I go to each room and empty my pockets putting what is from each room in that room."
kindhearttbc
"That's not lazy... that's productive AF."
throwaway92715
Toss It
"I don’t fold the fitted sheet. Just ball it up and place it in the closet."
SpaghettiSquash33
I just see people human. Don't he so hard on yourselves.
12 Hours
"I once watched 12 hours of the golf Network because the batteries were dead in my remote control. I don't know if that's lazy or depressed."
sadbirdfox
I swear I was...
"I was taught to make a bed properly as a child, I swear I was. Hospital corners and everything. I even know how to fold a fitted sheet, thanks to my auntie, who's an Air Force nurse and therefore doesn't consider little problems like 'non-Euclidean geometry' to be a reason not to do it properly. The second I found out about duvet covers, that was over. Sure, it doesn't look as tidy, but five minutes a week plus 10 seconds in the morning instead of 10 minutes a day? I can live with that."
katie-kaboom
The System
"I don't fold laundry anymore. I have a system of laundry baskets like this where clothes gets sorted by type (pants, t-shirts, sweaters, etc). Most of my clothes is wrinkle free, and for the few pieces that aren't I just throw them on a hanger in the bathroom while I take a steamy shower."
User deleted
Genius!!
"Before I get out of bed in the morning, I will grab the top corners of my sheets with my hands and prop up the bottom two with my feet and move it into place. Then I slide out of bed without ruffling anything. Just like that, my bed is made."
Markymark142
"My sister has to do this before she goes to bed at night, even is she made the bed that morning. It's an odd little quirk and mostly harmless."
mel2mdl
Yummy
"Just eating food straight out of the pan."
refrshmts_N_narcotcs
None of that sounds so bad. That sounds... like my life. Don't judge!!
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Be it on a blind date, at a party where you don't know anyone, or sitting next to someone on an airplane, starting a conversation with a total stranger is difficult.
As much as we'd all like to be friendly, far too often we find ourselves at a loss for words.
It doesn't help that we generally have no idea of what these people's various interests are, making it anyone's guess how they'll respond.
But some have this problem solved, finding a go-to topic which is always guaranteed to get a response, no matter who you're talking to.
Redditor Blugged_Bunny was curious to hear what people thought was the best way to begin a conversation with strangers, leading them to ask:
"What is your go-to 'small talk' topic with strangers?"
Did you check the forecast?
"We sure are having a lot of weather"- r_Ju_Tacular.
"As a British person, the conversation usually starts like this:"
“'You alright?'"
”Yeah you?”'
“'Yeah not too bad, weathers a bit sh*t innit?'”
“'Yeah”'.
"The end."- chelstippins
Why beat around the bush?
"Straight to politics and religion."- Turd_Ferguson009.
Just let it happen.
"Make an observation."
"Literally anything."It helps if it’s something about them like an article of clothing that catches your eye, something they’re doing, anything that you can relate to or are interested in but it doesn’t have to be."
"It can be something in the environment that is drawing both of your attention."
"People bullsh*t about the weather all the time."
"Make a comment about it, gauge their willingness to talk about it to you and build off of what you get from the response."
"If all you get is 'haha yeah', leave it."
"No shame in silence."
"Some people just don’t want to talk."
I"f you’re talking about the weather, 'Man it’s a great day out today!'"
“'Yeah absolutely! I drove here with my windows down all the way here!'”
"Boom, you’ve got something to latch onto."
"They probably enjoy getting outside for some fresh air. "
"They probably enjoy driving."
"Ask about their car."
"Ask if they go on drives a lot."
"Ask if they do outdoor stuff."
"What kind of outdoor stuff?"
"Once you’ve got something to work with, the key is to ask."
"Let them do the talking."
"People love talking about themselves."
"You learn some light hearted things about the stranger, they feel more comfortable, and you can add bits and bobs of your own experiences in response so they get to know you too."
"It works in literally any situation."
"From an elevator ride to a first date."
"It’s so easy to personalize small talk and it makes it so much less uncomfortable."- 1arrocknroll.
"But enough about me, what do you think about me?"
"Usually people love to talk about themselves, so a few questions about them and some follow up questions to their answers usually does it."- I_can_see_the_music.
"Food, glorious food..."
"Food."
"People typically love food."
"I mention I’m new/newer to an area."
"And ask them what they like, where they eat out."
"Usually works and people have their choices validated and I always know where to find good local snacks."- TheProfWife.
Can you believe it?
"Did you see that ludicrous display last night?"- housemuncher.
Nothing!
"As a Norwegian - we leave strangers alone."
"No need to bother them."- neihuffda.
The sky's the limit.
"So, do you like stuff?"- Bwon669.
All of these seem like surefire ways to get a conversation started.
But use cautiously, as who knows how long it will take these conversations to end.
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Quality comes with price. That's a fact you can't escape. If you hire someone to fix your home, and want them to do the best job, you're going to have to pay above average prices. That's fine. Pay the people what they're worth for the great job they did. However, we live in a world where everyone is looking for their payout, even if what they've given you is less than ideal.
Don't overpay for any of these.
Reddit user, DrLizardLover, wanted to know what we're paying too much for when they asked:
"What is just stupidly overpriced?"
If you didn't know any better, you would think making office and school supplies was a lot like mining for diamonds in the center of the Earth.
Though, we also know diamonds are a rip-off so maybe that's not the argument we should be making.
Another Collegiate Payment
"College books"
Spooly_Boy
"Especially when they say you have to buy the newest copy every year"
disantiyesnt
Good Thing We're Going Paperless
"Printer cartridges."
DataPlenty
"Apparently it's because in order to make printers affordable to everyone, you must lower their prices. The cartridges are the upsell and is where the profit comes from."
AltaSavoia
We Carry Them Around On Our Phones
"TI-84"
"I could get an old cell phone from a dumpster that’s 10x as powerful. Why the f-ck they still charging $80 or more for these things?"
edgeblackbelt
If living in 2022 has taught us anything, it's that convenience has a price.
And it's high.
$50 For Twizzlers
"Foods and drinks at movie theaters or sporting events"
Icy-Company7718
"I can answer for the theaters. They don't actually get much, if any, of the ticket sales. A lot of their operating budget comes from the snack bar."
Head_Razzmatazz7174
Fees On Hidden Fees For Hidden Fees
"Concert tickets"
"(AKA Ticketmaster)"
Catilily_3141
"I thought I was on the school box office site when I was on one made to look like it. I bought two reasonably priced ncaa basketball tickets and when I went to check out it went up to $70 with fees. Found the school website and checked out for $26 total."
blackcatmystery
Costs A Lot To Be A Woman
"One bra is like…40 dollars"
Noliel_Laicaster
"except i have big honkers so i'm forced to pay upwards of $80 for a bra because the only place I can get them in my size is Lane Bryant or Torrid"
kelsiewest11
"Just women's clothes in general. If I'm paying $40 for a pair of dress slacks, they damn well better have pockets. I have to have black slacks for my delivery job and ended up buying 3 pair of men's pants for $20 each, just to have the pockets."
Head_Razzmatazz7174
What can hurt the most is the idea companies and people will charge you for things you need to have. It's almost as if they know you're willing to pay the price...
Awful.
History Has Funny Way Of Changing Perspectives
"Lobster. Was literally considered food for the peasants at one point in history. They used lobsters as bait on ships"
magoted
The Most Expensive Day Of Your Life
"Anything tied to a wedding"
nickp123456
"Friend of mine needed a generator for a wedding. He booked it as a "corporate event" to get cheaper hire."
"When the company arrived to setup and saw it was a wedding they demanded extra money, because it was a wedding. Same location, same generator, same rental period."
salmonlikethephish
Sipping The Last Bits Of Money Out Of The Dead
"Funerals"
Longjumping-Oil4497
"I definitely think that add-ons for funerals are sold like biggie sizing your happy meal. And the concept of memorializing a person for eternity has been sold as bare necessity. But I do know that the pomp and circumstance a lot of people need to lay somebody to rest, costs money."
"I want to see people honored in their death, but spending $5,000 on a pine box does not make sense to me"
444unsure
People Need Help? Charge Them.
"Mental health services. Blessings upon blessings to the mental health professionals who offer sliding scales."
AphelionEntity
America Gonna 'Murica
"Getting an IUD put in or taken out without insurance costs 1300. Takes 5 minutes to put in and it’s a piece of plastic."
m_hahn_solo
"Wow thats so much. I'm in Canada so having it inserted, removed, and follow up appointments are free. But I had to pay for the IUD. The first time I used the insurance from college so only paid $30. The second time I graduated and didn't have insurance so I went to planned parenthood where its cheaper and paid 230. The third time I had insurance from work and it was free. Honestly all birth control should be free."
Forever-25
Keep an eye on your wallet, since you know most of the world is keeping theirs firmly on it.
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Not everyone is going to believe what you believe. Our own experiences and values add up to make us who we are. Without them, we'd all be the same amorphous blob of consciousness covering the planet in bland beliefs. You hold something in high regard, and that might mean someone else disagrees with you.
Hold your ground, and be ready to die on that hill, kind of like these people.
Reddit user, realduckbutter, wanted to know what you will never let go of when they asked:
"What’s the smallest hill you’re willing to die on?"
What is it about this hill that makes it worthwhile to fight over? Is it something ingrained in your core or something that you can never let go?
This Is Good, Great, And Dandy
"Oxford commas are GOOD and should be EMPLOYED LIBERALLY."
CopsaLau
"I agree with this, I agree with this, and I agree with this."
ajt9104_
Squats All Day
"Nice butts are better than big butts."
Crockpot_gator_Snot
"Shape > Size"
"on that note, 99.9% of of people don’t give a damn about color imperfections or stretch marks. It’s completely irrelevant. The shape is what makes a nice butt."
"Edit: I admit that my statistic it totally made up. I made to say that MOST people don’t care."
bouchandre
Doesn't Hold Up
"KFC gravy isn't as good as it used to be."
AshySlashy902
"KFC isn't as good as it used to be. The biscuits are so hit or miss now."
SuperstitiousPigeon5
Me Am No Good With Words And Things
"It's "I couldn't care less," not "I could care less." If you could care less, you care a little!"
thedoginapound
"That’s what I’m saying!!! People make no sense sometimes"
Rebelsinblacktattoo
The workplace is somewhere you (possibly) go to every day. If there's something about it you like or don't like, don't let it go.
Proper Bathroom Ambience
"Bathrooms at the work place should all be required to play music to help drown out the sounds being made"
zerorush8
"THANK YOU. I’ve thought this for years. Just some simple elevator music. Anything."
"I’d rather hear 10 hours of Yiruma’s River Flows In You than 10 seconds of whatever is flowing out of the poor guy next to me."
jaylward
Better Be Some Money That Comes With That Title
"Don’t give me a “promotion” unless it comes with a pay raise. The only reason I would want a promotion is because I get paid more, not so I can flex my title on ppl"
traws06
"Flex that title into a raise somewhere else"
meanie_ants
So Grateful
"All companies regardless of what industry they're in do their best work and are the most consumer friendly when they're in second or third place in their industry. The 'leader' is almost never the best option."
Nayko214
"The best service and the most exciting food is at two star Michelin restaurants because they’re playing offense not defense."
gastro_gnome
"Cashiers should be allowed to sit down during their shifts, ex. Aldi. There should be no reason why they need to keep standing in place for an entire shift"
kdotismydad
"This is so f-cking American. I've never in my European life seen a cashier standing up."
PercussiveRussel
Whatever it is about these hills we're all supposedly dying, you cannot deny the fact it's super fascinating to see bodies dropping on them.
Do Any Of Us Know What We're Eating?
"When people say “it has chemicals in it”. Your mom is chemicals. Everything is chemicals."
nosmase2
"The whole "don't put it in your body if you can't pronounce it" nonsense is infuriating. An apple has things in it most people couldn't pronounce if you wrote out the chemical composition. And does my having taken organic chem and biochem classes mean I can eat things others can't?"
"Don't even get me started on the anti-GMO crap."
dude_logman
Diamond Eyeglasses? Diamond Cups? Why Stop There?
"Lab grown diamonds are real diamonds. Chemically. It’s purely marketing that makes you pay more for mined diamonds."
ScoobyTrue
"I believe you may be wrong. They are purer than mined diamonds."
"I'm looking forward to windshields made out of diamond."
ScottColvin
*tap, *tap, *tap
"Mobile gaming is better when it's simple games like Angry Birds or Fruit Ninja"
ofsquire
"Yeah I thought I wanted big impressive games on my phone but then I realized there’s no point. I’m never going to play on my phone over a console"
realduckbutter
Holding Up The Line With Your Niceness
"Pay-it-forward drive-through chains are pointless. They aren’t really helping anyone, they’re just making everything awkward."
lassie86
"Im a starbucks barista and like its a nice thing dont get me wrong, but the way our systems work things get confusing and orders or items get lost so people end up getting free but wrong orders :( it also puts the customer on the spot to make a decision to continue or not and i hate that it's so awkward. I always just say hey your order has been paid for have a great day!"
imasokas2percentmilk
It Hurts So Good
"If Q-Tips were not meant to go deep in your ear canal, then God would not have put the g-spot in there"
Virtual-Stranger
Meet lots of people, develop a set of values, then enact those values upon yourself as you engage with the world. Be the person you want to be.
Tell us how you won't let anything go in the comments below.
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