It seemed easier in elementary school. If there was someone you liked in class, all you had to do was make sure they got the biggest valentine from the Ninja Turtle-themed ones you got the night before. Once you get older giving them cartoon valentine's may not work, not when there are other ways to let your crush know they're totally tubular. Remember, nothing is a guarantee, but relationships are tricky, and it's important to at least get an idea of where you stand.
Reddit user, u/Zairus111, wanted the best advice when they asked:
Reddit, what's a subtle way tell someone that you like them?
Set The Time
Not so subtle, but my crush asked me "How are you able to come up with a flirty answer to everything?" I said "I don't know, how about we discuss it at 5 tonight over dinner?"
Just. Be. Nice.
Alright everyone seems to be against subtlety. I think being subtle serves a very important purpose. It allows them to turn you down without making things uncomfortable. And it's less painful to get rejected that way. People say "just go for it. the worst they can say is no". But I think that's a little naive. Rejection can be traumatic depending on the situation.
If you want to go the subtle route, just be nice.
- Go out of your way to talk to them
- Act interested in their life. Ask questions.
- Compliment them, particularly on appearance.
- Flirt
By the time you ask them out they should be fully aware that you're interested romantically. And they've had an opportunity to send you signals as to whether they're interested. But don't drag it out. Waiting too long leaves them wondering if you're actually interested.
Gotta Start Paving The Way Somehow, Right?
Sounds a bit stupid or risky but slight flirting never hurt anyone and if they give the same vibes back, keep going with it.
Make It About Them. Obviously.
get him/her to talk about themselves.
keep eye contact.
don't do all your communicating on the phone! let them know!
compliment them about who they are - not just physical attributes.
Rule #1 Of Storytelling: Show, Don't Tell
It took my (now) husband close to 8 years to tell me he liked me. When he finally did, he took me to my favorite place and favorite restaurant then proceeded to tell me all of his favorite memories of us going back to when we were in middle school.
Didn't have to tell me by using the words "I like you", he showed me.
Subtle Is Not Subtle.
Subtle would be telling them in a straightforward manner, obvious is when you start acting differently and giving too many hints.
Seriously. Don't Be Too Indirect
I don't know how old you are but I wish someone told me this when I was younger.
Just be straightforward and direct. People don't easily pick up on little hints. Also in the same vein people don't tend to notice or dwell on other peoples small flubs or mistakes. (People internalize their small mistakes because everyone is the main character of their own story)
So just do it, and if you say or do something silly just remember they probably won't notice and are just as nervous and self conscious as you are.
Good luck on acquiring a significant other!
In Case You Missed Any, Here's A Bunch!
GiphyI think generally subtle isn't the way to go, but if you think this person might get it or it would be extra super awkward to get outright rejected, here are some tips.
-Get them to talk about themselves. Ask questions about their lives and find common points.
-Laugh at their jokes and make a lot of your own. Having sort of a banter/inside jokes is good.
-Ask about their dating life. I'm sure there's some way to make this subtle. Somehow.
-Find ways to hang out with them outside of your usual settings. If you like someone from philosophy, make plans to study with them in the library or over coffee.
-When I like someone, I'll be happy to see them. Talking to them would be something I look forward to. Basically, you want them to know you enjoy being around them by smiling a lot and just engaging.
-Compliment! Some people like physical compliments, some don't. Compliment what you like and value about them.
Keep in mind that someone could be getting you to talk about yourself, having a great banter with you, engaging with you whenever you see each other, and you still won't know for sure. The only way to know for sure is to tell them you're interested.
This could be a good way of seeing if their interest is there, but it is no guarantee.
"What's your biggest red flag in a partner?"
The Wisest Admit When They've Made A Mistake...
"Inability to recognize or admit when they've made a mistake."- UniversityEastern542
My Way Or The Highway...
"Using ultimatums to get their way instead of compromising."- Whed1956
And That Concerns Me, Why?...
"No respect for your interests or your time."- ElNakedo·
Bored Over It GIFGiphyIt's Can Be Easy To See Clearly Through The "Gaslight"...
"Manipulation on any level."- xfalinex
"Manipulating, gaslighting, 'winning'."- umbrex
Is It Really So Difficult To Say "I'm Sorry"?...
"Inability to apologize."- theregoesthevillage
Sorry Taylor Swift GIFGiphyHonesty is ALWAYS The Best Policy...
"My biggest red flag in a partner would be their inability to communicate effectively and be honest with me."
"Trust is key."- Proper_Ad5123
What You See Is What You Get
"Wanting to change my style and look."
"First girlfriend wanted me to wear button up shirts, colored my hair brown, and even wanted me to wear brown colored contact lenses."
"Coincidentally these were all features of her cousin who she later married."
"A good partner helps you grow and become the best version of you."
"They don't try to mould you into their own vision."- AdmiralClover
Alicia Silverstone Makeover GIF by filmeditorWritten In The Stars
"Blames their sh*tty behaviour on their star sign."
"Yeah, I ain't buying the 'it's because I'm a Scorpio" bullsh*t."- A_Direwolf
...Or Maybe A Scratched Cornea?
"An eyepatch. It's a sign of dangerous living, possibly pirate or rustler but certainly an outlaw."- beathelas
Temper Temper...
"Can't control their anger and/or hits and breaks stuff when angry."- LilleSmurfine
There Is Nothing More Important In Life...
"Your significant other restricting you from hanging out with your friends."- AagamAaghnya
There Is So Much More To Life...
"If their political views are their whole personality."- V1p3rzach
brooklyn nine nine politics GIFGiphyIt's fair enough to have deal breakers when it comes to finding a partner.
Always remember though, first impressions can be misleading.
And love has a way of helping you overlook the imperfections of others.