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This is about to go far, far beyond M-E-L-K. But feel free to really simmer on that one. Infuriating. If I've alienated all those that do jam the "e" in there, no apology.


These moments of mispronunciation rifle past us every day. They're tiny moments of fury that we're forced to swallow. The alternative would be correcting someone. And that, friends, sounds like far more confrontation than anyone is in the mood for. What's more, it's a short road from correcting to being known as the pretentious jerk face correcting people's speech. There's no way out, really.

Luckily, these moments occupy about 2.6 seconds in a given day. But you're about to give a few solid minutes to a rapid fire list of them. Stay calm.

u/NishantRockstar911 asked, "What are the most ridiculous pronunciations you've heard for the most simplest of words?"What are the most ridiculous pronunciations you've heard for the most simplest of words?"

Sidenote: very enjoyable to read all these Reddit users' DIY approach to a pronunciation key.

Poisoning the Minds of Children

My former English teacher pronounced bowl as bowel.

u/molnarg1102

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Huge Fan

My housemate at college pronounced Eminem "eee-my-num".

u/Pad_Lillywell

Gotta Get That Guy Outta Your Life

I know this guy who says breafkast

u/lilidelapampa

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It's Latin, You Wouldn't Get It

I know a guy who used to pronounce "Homo sapiens" as "Homo s-penis" with absolute confidence.

u/Cato_The_Teenager

I'll Have the Gnocchi With No Chins, Please

My friend insists on pronouncing gnocchi as "no-chin". Not sarcastically, he's said it at restaurants even.

u/bimmerphile_ec

NOT AN OCEAN

Pacific for Specific. Makes me crazy! It's a completely different word

u/WallflowersAreCool2

No You're Just Making Up Rules Outta Nowhere

Supposably instead of supposedly... like, where did you even get the b from?

u/ginzykinz

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Food for Thought

I don't understand how any of you can pronounce crayon like cran while still pronouncing crayola like crayola

It drives me crazy

u/Court_Vision

This One Makes My Blood Boil

Instead of saying Monday like everyone else, my sister pronounces it Mun-dee. It's stupid because Sunday she pronounces correctly.

u/el_monstruo

It's the Faster Kind

Oh man, EX-presso instead of ES-presso

u/mdotone

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Image by Steve Buissinne from Pixabay

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One of the most upsetting aspects of the Covid-19 pandemic––which is saying a lot, frankly––is the number of people who have been so affected by misinformation and disinformation. You know the ones to which I refer: These are the people who are convinced the virus is a hoax despite the lives it's claimed and the devastation it has wrought on society at large. Disinformation kills––there are stories of people who remained convinced that Covid-19 is a hoax even while intubated in the ICU, even up to their last breath.

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