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Lord our brains work in mysterious ways, don't they? How is it we seem to lose control over what words fumble out of our mouths at the most inopportune times? Who isn't guilty of spewing verbal craziness that leaves us and our witnesses utterly speechless? Who hasn't born the brunt of faces screaming... "do you NOT hear you?" Be honest. I'll wait.

Redditor u/Shikher_07 wanted everyone to share all the shockingly stupid things that have fallen out of our mouths at the worst times by asking.... What is the dumbest thing you've said out loud?


Doh... or Duh?

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I opened the dictionary to a random page once and my finger landed on the entry for "window" except I read, out loud, the phonetic spelling, win*doh.

So there I was, surrounded by friends, asking, "Win doh? What the hell is a win doh?" Enunciating the syllables like an idiot.

I read the definition and realized what a doofus I was. Ryan59479

New Names....

Was looking for my socks, couldn't think of the name, called them "footpants." Photon_Torpedophile

Did the same with swing once, the noun. Came out with jingle-chair. Reddit

De-boned.

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If they can make seedless oranges why can't they make boneless chickens? GargantuanCake

That chicken's going to grow up...

Well, it wouldn't grow so far, would it? VoyagerCat

My Bumps. 

I'm always saying "sorry" to the furniture I bump into. chinchuberry

I did this on Friday with a skeleton in Anatomy lab. lidlpizzapie

Love Alexa....

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I say "please" and "thank you" to Alexa. It's good to show kindness to inanimate objects. goose_of_reddit

So Dumb. 

My wife asked me if her jeans makes her butt looks fat.

I said "it ain't the jeans."

I'm not a smart man. Wrong_Answer_Willie

My boyfriend at the time answered "it's not the dress that makes you look fat it's the fat that makes you look fat" (...Silence...) i wasn't even wearing a dress.

Years later I reminded him of this, and he said he was just quoting a movie.

(What?!)

I ended up marrying him, and learned to never ask that question again. KotZaBoulSheat

English What?

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"I know every language in the English dictionary." KarinLoos

"Isn't English is one funny compilation of languages?!" Shikher_07

To Be Eaten....

Definitely not the dumbest thing I've ever said but this one was pretty recent. My parents were talking about having a lot of leftover food while cooking and my brain struggled to say either "people will eat it" or "it will get eaten." I ended up saying "people will get eaten." absoluteambiguity

Hush Please.

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told a "your mom" joke to a buddy to try to cheer him up. This was at his mothers funeral. I felt so damn stupid a millisecond after I said it. ecksit

H20 Hunt. 

Walked up to Starbucks cashier and asked, "You guys don't happen to have water do you?"

She replied sarcastically, "Um no we don't have water I'm sorry"

Just at that moment she looked down and in front of me is water bottles and water cups for the water station 🤦🏼♂️

My girlfriend never lets it go now though, she's always like "Oh maybe you can ask [insert restaurant] if they have water too. ChrispyCherrios

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