Why do we feel the need to apologize? It's the act of coming together, to reconnect over a dispute that might have created a gap between you and the other person. It's difficult, opening yourself up like that, to be as exposed as a blanket in a tornado. This type of overexposure means it's easy, and rather obnoxious, when you see that the other person is clearly not meeting you halfway with a real, heartfelt apology.
Let's Start With The Worst Of The Worsti'm sorry homer simpson GIF Giphy
"I'm sorry, but....."
You're Lack Of Self-Esteem Is Not An Excuse
When they pull the "pweeze don't hate me I ALWEDDY HATE MYSELF ;m;" crap.
I mean, I hate myself too, but that doesn't mean I have free reign to go around being a d-ck to people.
Putting Out The CAll
"If anyone was offended..."
"I'm sorry but if you hadn't done what you did, I wouldn't have had to do what I did."
A variation on the latter is sometimes used by racists to justify racist actions.
"If you didn't call me a racist, then I never would have done HORRIBLY_RACIST_THING!"
We'll Talk Of This NO FURTHER
Apologizing while simultaneously shutting down all discussion.
Stop dwelling on the past, we need to move forward.
When They Have More Important Things To Do
Saying they're sorry in a rushed way and then immediately going back to whatever they were doing (staring at their phone, putting headphones back in, playing video games etc). Like they just wanted you to get over it so they can get back to their lives.
The Worst Kind Of Aggressionsorry homer simpson GIF Giphy
passive-aggressive tone and wording or just add things like "you wanted me to say sorry" or "so what?" in their apologies.
A Lack Of Understanding Why
Not being able to articulate exactly what it is they are apologizing for, or their understanding of why it upset you.
When Nothing Changes Coming Out Of It
Yup, this. Right here.
An apology is like a good joke. It loses its meaning the more you use it.
Making It All About Them
"I'm sorry, I'm such a terrible person, I suck so bad, blah blah, comfort me I'm the real victim here!"
In This Day And Age? All The Time.season 9 news GIF Giphy
I'm making a 20min video with 5 un-skippable ads.
Basically stating that I'm sorry for getting caught,and the good ol'"I would never do the thing I'm obviously guilty of doing ...." then the "I was very young ......I was very different back then .....", "Im disappointed in myself ......" And finally ,"I'll learn and do better ....not really " then sometimes obligatory donation to which ever sub-group was offended and "I'll be taking a break ."
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