Having the emotional capacity to miss someone who might only be in the next room is a gift. Odds are, you might be in a relationship where if your significant other leaves it's a welcome break. Then, there are those who find it impossible to sever the emotional strands for even a short trip to the grocery store without longing for their s.o. Missing someone is real, no matter how far they are, but what about those on the other end of those feelings? What do you say if you just don't miss them?
Reddit user caldermody, wanted to know what to say when they asked:
Speak The Truth As Best You Can
An ex said this to me a while back; i replied with "yes we've had a lot of good times together" etc so i didn't ignore the reaching out- but i didn't say i missed them back
I got something like this back recently.
I said "I have to be at XYZplace without you tonight and that's just sad" to which he replied:
"Aw, I appreciate our time there together."
I had to send it to a few friends for analysis.
Lying Don't Cost A Thing
Depends on the person.
If it's family or something, I say "I miss you too" because it takes nothing to make their day a little better. If it's your ex or something then just reply with "lol" and leave.
Just Text Back
New phone, who dis
Mixing The Movies Up
That'll do pig. That'll do.
What movie is this from? It made me think of, "That'll do Donkey, that'll do."
Have You Tried Lying?
Depends on why you keep them in your life.
If they're a friend, co worker, distant family member, or someone that you care a bit about, but don't miss them simply because you're fine with the few times you do see them or just chatting with them occasionally on the phone/discord/facebook, then just say you miss them back. Most of the time these people who miss you genuinely mean it and if you say "it has been awhile" or "me too" or anything other than telling them that you miss them too, then you're being kind of a d-ck for no reason. Now if it's someone who lives pretty close and you know saying you miss them back means you'll have to put up with them....then maybe they belong in the next category.
If they're someone you don't really like that much and you don't miss them because you QUITE enjoy not being around them, then why do you even have them on your friends list/in your contacts? I knew a guy who claimed he was on the spectrum and blames everything he does on it. But he was such a f-cking drag to be around and I constantly felt like I was babysitting a toddler. I never got any joy hanging out with him. It sucked. He'd text me that he missed hanging out with me and finally I just said f-ck it. Texted him back and told him how I felt and said he shouldn't text me any more.
If it's someone who is in the second category, someone you REALLY don't like or get along with, but they have no way of realistically visiting you or being more in your life and they're CLOSE TO SOMEONE YOU DO CARE ABOUT, IE a sh-tty brother or your spouses family. Then just say I miss you too. Lie out your a-- and pretend you care.
"Please Hang Up And Try Again..."
The Verizon subscriber you are trying to reach is not available...
I might just use this even though I have sprint.
Simply Ease Their Heart
"Awe, hope all is well!"
Truth is if I don't miss them even when they just said they miss me (like you forget you miss someone but when you think of them or when you're reminded somehow you realize you do miss them), I probs don't really feel the need / want to know about their life necessarily so I end it there instead of continuing the convo or asking how they are :/
Edit: IMO this is the equivalent of saying "awe thanks" to someone at a bar or a club who just complimented me but I find them kinda creepy and I want to get away before they keep talking to me
I mean there aren't THAT many people who if they said "I miss you" I wouldn't then actually miss even a tiiiiny bit (like maybe a feeling of nostalgia), like I "miss" all my friends and family, my former SOs and maybe even casual acquaitances. Heck, I get attached so easy and am generally overly affectionate so I am often the one who's reaching out if anything.
People who don't bring up even that bit of feeling is someone who I feel uncomfortable continuing the convo OR the relationship to begin with cuz I know they want something more than I can give e.x. someone of an opposite sex who I think/know wants more and I don't reciprocate. I've replied with the "polite" you too before and often times it ends up with the other person continuing to message you when you're not interested, and it seems crueler to eventually get fed up and ignore them OR keep giving really short, passive-aggressive answers in the hopes they'll take the hint... my biggest pet peeve is leading people on.
Not everything is meant to be a hit.
But if you follow the hype, which is created to build the anticipation, then you'd think everything from a new Pop star to a soda flavor will change the world.
Sorry, not the case.
In fact, most things that are hot actually burn out quickly.
We use to buy our CD's through a Ponzi scam, think about that as you renew your Spotify.
Redditor LineOfDeath wanted to discuss the times the hype has failed is.
"What was supposed to be 'The Next Big Thing,' but totally flopped?"
Snuggies. Did snuggies really take? I don't think so.
Salt OnlyHungry Potato Chips GIFGiphy
"Crystal Pepsi, New Coke, orange juice and toothpaste flavored Lay's potato chips. Edit for correct Pepsi variant."
"Amazon’s shopping buttons. They pushed really hard for those and I never saw the point."
"They originally announced those on April 1st. They said it wasn't an April Fools joke, but I'm still skeptical."
"I saw plenty of social media posts from people saying 'hey this is a joke, but I kind of want it.' I think Amazon saw those and took a shot at making it a real product. I bought one for toilet paper and put it in the cabinet where I keep spare rolls. You take the last roll out, you press the button. It actually kinda worked."
"Not entirely relevant, but I liked the trend where everybody wanted the smallest cell phone possible. For 20 years cell phones got smaller and smaller. Often being the main selling point of the phone. Then all of sudden you could watch videos on your phone, and almost overnight the trend reversed to 'larger is better.'"
"The Kony 2012 video got so much exposure it was unreal. It was plastered across every web page you looked. In hindsight, I have a feeling it had the same powerhouse that brought you the Trump 2016 Campaign, and some of the revolts in second world countries that were chiefly orchestrated via the internet."
"I still remember when people were sending out pictures of Carl Weathers in Predator instead of Kony as a joke."
Face Backninja turtles GIFGiphy
"Man I remember as a kid seeing the Ninja Turtles and Dick Tracy use video coms and thinking it was so cool and wanting one for myself and now if someone facetimes me I have a panic attack."
How can you go wrong with Ninja Turtles and Dick Tracy?
Oh CostcoCostco GIF by hero0fwarGiphy
"Not sure if this one has totally flopped yet, but I noticed while in Costco the other day that there are no longer any curved TVs. If Costco is no longer carrying them then I think we can assume they're going the way of the dodo."
"My friend who studies Medicine had to install Second Life about two years ago for a class meeting. I don't get why they couldn't have used Skype but ok."
"As a CS student I wondered wtf second life was doing on all the lab PCs. I thought it was some kind of joke until people with PHDs started talking about how great of a collaboration tool it was. It wasn't."
"Believe it or not, second life actually still has a decent following. My brother makes a decent living making custom clothing, accessories, and weapon models and skins for sale at in-game marketplaces."
"The issue here was time. The pizzas were actually a huge hit. The issue was how long it took them to cook relative to everything else. One person in a family orders a pizza and everyone else is done eating before the pizza is done. Former slave to the golden arches."
"I remember not caring about the time they took. They were absolutely heavenly. I think they really cranked up the sugar and salt compared to most pizzas out there but it made such a difference."
"Soap Shoes. These were like normal shoes, but you could grind on rails with them via an indent in the sole. If you heard of these things from somewhere that wasn't Sonic Adventure 2, please tell me where? And please tell me where I can buy a pair?"
"I had a pair of these and they were deadly around stairs. The indented arch was a slippery smooth hard plastic, and I never realized how much I place the arch of my foot on the edge of each stair when descending them. Without fail, my first step on any stairs would result in my foot shooting out from under me."
That ClickDj Waffle GIFGiphy
"Tbh, I miss mini discs. They were great."
"And the satisfying mechanical click you'd hear whenever you shut the lid. Man I miss my minidisc! I gave it away to one of my high school buddies."
Wow. That's a lot of failure and nostalgia.
As a human race, we know very little.
There are things that are more ancient than we realize.
So much has come before us and is still here to show us.
But, we're humans we ignore it all and just revel in the "doom to repeat" cycle.
Redditor kakou64 wanted discuss some unknown history.
"What's older than we think?"
I always enjoyed history. Though I enjoyed anything that wasn't math.
older than bread...Chicken Wings Love GIF by Buffalo Wild WingsGiphy
"Beer is thought to be older than bread. It's much easier to fill a jar with wheat and water, let it ferment, and brew beer than it is to grind grain, mix it, and bake it."
"The first carbonated drink to be sold to the public was invented by Swiss watchmaker and amateur scientist J. J. Schweppe in 1783, who sold his delicious 'sparkling water' to thirsty customers in Geneva. In just seven years, he was doing business so fast that he moved the factory to London and introduced a new flavor, sparkling lemon, to stand out from competitors who were trying to imitate his drink."
"Touch screens. We think they're one of the main defining features of modern technology since they only really got big in the late 2000s/early 2010s, but they were actually invented 55 years ago in 1965. It's kind of crazy to think about, but while most of our grandparents were getting rid of their black and white TVs, researchers already had touchscreen devices in the labs."
"It wasn't really until the 80s that it really got good, but by 90s it was easily sophisticated technology. In fact, Microsoft even had a Windows XP tablet out by 2001 that had seriously good finger/stylus recognition, but it didn't really pick up until smartphones became a thing a decade later."
"You could also consider the magnetic drawing board to be a touch screen since it more or less has a stylus and surface for you to draw on, but that was actually invented later than the touch screen in 1974!"
"National Geographic was founded in 1888."
"Yes! I looked through the very first national geographic book and compared it to their most recent magazine and it was INSANE. Back then there were little to no pictures and it was so interesting how they conducted their experiments."
"This is the only one that doesn't surprise me. Anyone that has read any sign while hiking pretty much anywhere, or read any history books involving turn of the century exploring around 1900, has read about the early National Geographic society and its role in hiking/exploring."
Jaws is Elderlyshark week jaws GIFGiphy
"Sharks. As a species they're older than the rings of Saturn."
"Just Google it really quick. LOL. Rings of Saturn are 10 to 100 million years old whereas we have found shark scales dating back 450 million years ago. Pretty crazy stuff!"
Sharks are how old? I mean... really?
Time after TimeLondon Sport GIF by Lord's Cricket GroundGiphy
"Wristwatches. Queen Elizabeth I got one in 1571."
"Just going to drop this here. We had alarm clocks that rowed themselves down a table and shot off mini cannons in the 1500s."
"The electric car. What is likely the first human-carrying electric vehicle with its own power source was tested along a Paris street in April 1881 by French inventor Gustave Trouvé. The first crude electric car was built in the 1830s but it was essentially a semi-functioning model."
"The electric car was a direct competitor to gasoline powered vehicles until the 1920s when roads got better, people started driving further than the range of an electric car, and the world started finding major oil reserves."
"Brain Surgery In 1997, archaeologists discovered an ancient tomb in the French village of Ensisheim from 5,000 BC, which contained the decomposing body of a 50-year-old man with holes in his skull. After a thorough examination, it was determined that the holes, located near the frontal lobe, were caused by a type of surgery, not by forced trauma, and the operation appears to have been successful because the wounds healed before the patient's death. To this day, however, researchers cannot say for sure what exactly the surgery was trying to fix."
Cato the Elder
"The sentiment that modern society is degenerate and that the youth are to blame is, iirc, one of the oldest things we have written down. That I can remember off the top of my head, Cato the Elder complained that the younger generations were becoming too greek, and Socrates used to complain that the younger generations were ruining their brains by writing instead of memorising information. There are far more older examples, but those are the oldest I remember (maybe Socrates was onto something)."
Jolly GoodFlying Harry Potter GIF by The Story RoomGiphy
"I was really surprised to discover when Oxford university was founded. They don’t know the year for sure, but they know there was definitely teaching going on there in 1096."
I feel ready for 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?'"
Let's face it: We all have petty opinions.
For example, I know I am rather anal-retentive about my cleaning. No one else does it the way I prefer the way I like it to be done so of course that means I'm stuck doing it myself.
You really can't trust most people to do it for you, and you'd be surprised how much I've sparred with friends over the possibility of hiring cleaning services. For one thing, as great as that would be, it's expensive. For another... would I actually be satisfied? How will they know except through osmosis that I prefer to load the dishwasher a certain way or have a specific way that I clean my air fryer?
The jury's out on that one, friends.
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor shazulmonte asked the online community,
"What is the pettiest, silliest, most meaningless hill you are willing to die on?"
"I've said it before..."
"I've said it before and I'll say it again: we need better standardization of canned food can sizes. Also, the cans should all nest when stacked."
I see no lies. What's up with this?! We demand changes now!
"Classic rock is a sub-genre of rock created between the mid-1960s through the early-to-mid-1980s; it is not a radio format for aging rock songs."
I can support this.
Just because Nirvana and Soundgarden are "old" now doesn't make them classic rock––they're grunge!
"The album for a live musical..."
"The album for a live musical is not a soundtrack - it's a cast recording."
Don't ever say "soundtrack" around musical theater people. They will end you. Absolutely end you.
"I will not work..."
"I will not work for a company that doesn't post salary range in the job description or discuss salary in the first interview. You have my resume which is what I bring to the table. I deserve to know what you are offering upfront."
More people should take this stance. Searching for a job is hard enough!
"There is a conspiracy..."
"There is a conspiracy against me by a shadowy cabal to drive me insane by always making sure the screwdriver I find is never the kind I need at that moment."
This might be true.
And who's to say I'm not a part of it?
"Most screen actors..."
"Most screen actors shouldn't be voice actors. Most of the time they suck at it and they're only there because they're a famous name and because the film industry takes animation less seriously. Even worse if it's a non-acting celebrity providing the voice work."
I can co-sign this. I have heard so many bad voice acting jobs over the years. Meanwhile, the people who are actually good at this are pushed out of roles they'd absolutely nail.
"You LOSE LOOSE change. Your team did not loose. You did not loose your wallet. You don’t have lose change. This is my Waterloo."
I agree with this! It is maddening. And it's everywhere online! Everywhere!
"Having any sound..."
"Having any sound coming from your phone over the speaker in public. TF is wrong with you? I don't need to hear your music OR your conversation!"
The people who do this are monsters.
And yes, I will die on that hill.
"DNA testing like ancestry.com is weird and if anyone's gonna test my DNA and add it to a database they should pay ME. Not the other way around."
Just one of many reasons why I haven't bothered with that. No way.
"... something that happens every day."
"Every day: something that happens every day."
"Everyday: ordinary, unremarkable."
Similarly: "apart" and "a part" are opposites. Opposites!
Why is this so difficult for so many people to understand?!
We all have that topic we have strong opinions on, and sometimes, other people's disregard can drive us crazy. It turns out that that topic can be rather innocuous, relatively speaking.
What's that one topic for you? Feel free to tell us all about it in the comments section below!
A truly stressful job can destroy your self-esteem and confidence. It's been said that people don't necessarily leave jobs, they leave management.
Indeed, bad management can leave you feeling unmoored and unsupported.
There has been a wider conversation about hostile work environments over the last couple of years now that the COVID-19 pandemic has afforded many people the opportunity to switch careers and/or call it quits with their awful jobs.
No job is worth your mental and physical health.
People shared their stories with us after Redditor yourmaeve asked the online community,
"Redditors who changed careers from a high paying but stressful job to a lower paying but low stress job, was it worth it, why or why not?"
"My wife and I sold the house..."
"I didn't make the switch until I was 50. Something about turning 50 sparked a change in me. I previously had high blood pressure issues and I was having stress related fights with the people I love. I started to hate myself. Something had to change."
"My wife and I sold the house in the city and moved up to the high country. I took a low-paying job with a small startup company. I wanted to make a difference (and not just make an income)."
"EVERYTHING about my life got better almost instantly. Do I miss the money? Sometimes, but not often actually. The quality of life is way more important for us. We often comment/joke about how we still feel like were on a vacation."
Congrats on the change! It sounds like you guys are much happier and healthier to boot.
"The check is smaller..."
"Yep. The check is smaller, but comparable to what I would have lost in a divorce in a couple years."
"About a 45% pay cut, but my "real" labor hours dropped from like 65 and permanent on-call status to about 35 hrs or so and after 4pm, I CANNOT BE CONTACTED... worth it. I'm genuinely happier, healthier, and family life is now GREAT instead of slowly decaying."
Congratulations on saving your marriage and family.
"I left after 30 years..."
"Had an IT job. On call 24x7x365 - never knew what situation would come up. Phone would ring and it would make my blood pressure rise. I left after 30 years as they made me part owner, but God that was stressful."
Glad you got out! 30 years is a hell of a long time.
"Although what's interesting..."
"100%. Although what’s interesting is once I didn’t hate my job I did a much better job advancing and now I make about what I did back then."
It makes sense though that you would naturally just do a better job if you aren't hating your life.
"I'd rather be broke..."
"Yes. I'd rather be broke than suicidal."
Amen to that. Glad you're still here with us.
"It has come with some sacrifices..."
"Yes. It has come with some sacrifices, like I can't do the lavish vacations or buy the super fancy cars that all my neighbors do/have, but I also get to be at home every night and weekend. I learned through a stretch of rapid ascent up the corporate ladder that I don't care about that kind of ambition and got super burned out. I'm finally healing."
Healing is necessary. It's great that you've found what's important to you.
"Money is temporary..."
"Most definitely it was. Money is temporary but the peace of mind and much better family life are everything to me."
Peace of mind? A better family life? It sounds like you won the lottery. Well done!
"I used to rake in paychecks..."
"Yes. Yes. Yes."
"I took a 25% base pay-cut 4 years ago to escape a terrible situation at a terrible company. My new job was salaried, no overtime pay but also no real expectation of overtime. No regrets."
"I used to rake in paychecks that started with a $5xxx, net, with overtime but the negative effects on my health made it pointless. If you're working crazy overtime for too long, you're going to wind up in the hospital, especially if it's a high-stress job in a hostile work environment."
"I gave up the overtime, the title, and the base pay for a far better job elsewhere. To be honest, I haven't really even noticed a difference financially since I have far fewer medical expenses nowadays."
You have your health! That's huge. Kudos for escaping such a toxic work environment.
"I didn't really change companies..."
"I didn't really change companies but I had my middle management position eliminated (60+ hour weeks, stress) but was assigned to another position with about a $20k decrease. But it was 35 hour weeks, low stress, less meetings and when the day was over I was done: no after hour calls, no late nights."
"It was awesome and I ended up being glad I didn't leave for another company and another management position. I have since moved on but i wouldn't go back to a stress filled life."
That's great you were able to stay in the same company but find something right for you. I feel like a lot of people have to completely change their field to something different in order to find what works for them.
"Have since moved up..."
"I used to be a healthcare administrator for private practices. High stress, but pretty good pay. Got into IT at the very bottom. Low stress, low pay."
"Have since moved up and my pay has returned to previous levels. Some stressful days, however my worst day now is like an average day in my previous job. Most days are just fine and the good days are very good."
"I'm not high profile anymore and I don't have to wear a tie anymore. It has been worth the pain of losing 70% of my salary for several years. I sleep better and don't dread going to work everyday."
Sleeping better is the goal! Well done.
No job is worth sacrificing your health. Remember that the next time you feel like you're going to lose it and your management team isn't being supportive. You absolutely deserve better.
Have some stories of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/