Love... will make you want to forget love. Searching for love is one of the most exasperating "adventures" life has to offer. Half the time, the journey for love... will fail you. It's part of the gamble. If you're searching online, it makes it that much more nerve wracking. The crazies are running amuk out there. Sometimes the bumble isn't worth the buzz.
Redditor u/dannyboy8323 wanted everyone to band together and share some love stories gone awry by asking.... What's your biggest fail when it comes to online dating?
The Cues...
Not realizing how much can be lost in the absence of voice inflection and physical social queues. ealoft
This is what so many people can't seem to grasp when I explain to them I don't do online dating. If they've never experienced what it's like to have this happen they just can't understand it no matter how much I try to explain it. And, to me, it's a huge part of my attraction (or lack of) to a person.
Edit: it's not like I don't date or have issues getting dates, I just don't do online. I still meet people in real life, I just don't like online and feel my real life connections tend to work out better for me. seh_23
I still cringe.....
Oh man, the first time I contacted someone (it was via The Onion personals, which were really a thing in 2005), I just made fun of a band she said she liked. I wrote something like, "My only problem is that you are into (band)" She replied (as she should have), "My only problem is that the only thing you offer is a criticism". I still cringe. dinnersateight
Poof. Gone.
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Getting hundreds of matches on tinder but not going on a single date with someone I initially met from the app.
Edit: I am a male. I've set up many dates, but get ghosted the day of. alaf44
but good lord was I a naive fool....
Matched with someone on a dating website (before Tinder). Got to talking, seemed like a chill dude, even though there were red flags (he insisted we were dating before we met and I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone). Agreed to meet up with him at a cafe by work. Organized with my receptionist she would ring me at an allotted time and tell me I had to come back to work, so I had an out. Met with the guy for coffee, it seemed well enough, then my girl rang me, so I told him I had to get back. His response was "I've got my work van here, do you want to jump in the back and have a quickie?" I noped out of there and went back to work.
A couple of months later he ended up coming into my work to see my boss. I made polite small talk with him then when he left my boss called me into her office to ask how I knew him. Turned out he was married to my bosses niece and I dodged a bullet.
Update: sorry to leave you all hanging. Boss believed me, and we never spoke of it again. I was too embarrassed to raise the subject again because I keep my private life private, and her because i assume she kept that crap between her and her niece. My boss was also a black belt in jujitsu so not the person to mess with.
Yes, i should have known better when he got possessive straight out the gate, but I was young, insecure, and lonely. It's not a crime to want to be wanted, but good lord was I a naive fool. Fen_Misting
Googled.
Dated a guy who was in a Poli-sci PhD program (confirmed) who had a law degree (confirmed) but had "left practice because he didn't enjoy it." Nope. Had been arrested for a federal hate crime as a neo-Nazi and was ineligible to practice. Thank god for google. doctaliz
Sounds Off.
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When I connected Spotify my bumble profile and unbeknownst to me, 3 of my top 10 artists were the wiggles, hi-5 and blippi. Pretty sure I missed a few connections because of that! kwisssy
What's Your Password?
Not trying it sooner. At the end of the day, we're all just people looking to connect and share a Netflix account. toaster_jack
Same! Spent 9 years trying to find a girl going to parties & the club. Turns out I'm fairly crap at that which probably wasn't all that good for my self-esteem either.
A female friend then thought it would be fun to create a tinder profile & swipe for me during a party. Spend the next few days being mind blown at getting matches, sucking at texting, progressively getting better at it. A few months later going on a ton of dates, getting better at that as well, and finally finding my current girlfriend of soon 2 years. Developed more at flirting & understanding dating in those 6 months than from birth up until that point. Sairony
Rotten Fish.
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Using Plenty Of Fish, the free dating site. It was like the Netto of dating sites. I chatted briefly with one woman before telling her I was going out for a few drinks.
Next day I checked my messages and she had sent some. It started with "why don't you come round to mine and get drunk together", progressing to "why are you ignoring me", then to "I think you're gorgeous and we will be good together" and finally "don't you ignore me".
I sent her a message the next day to never contact me again. zetecvan
Match to browse.
I used the free version of Match to browse, then decided to sign up. Quickly realized it didn't have anything to offer me, so I cancelled and got a refund. I then had 20 different emails about different women interested in me. Way too coincidental. cowbellhero81
3 Days In.
I once told a guy (via text) I had to go because my lunch break was over. When my shift ended there were tons of angry messages from him asking where I was and why I left so suddenly. I told him it was because my break was over and I can't text when I am at work. He then started apologizing to me and told me he was afraid he had lost me and that I hated him. We had "known" each other for 3 days and we had never met in real life. AtWarWithEurasia
She was way hotter than me.
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I met with this very attractive woman off Upper middle class tinder (Bumble).
She was way hotter than me.
At some point during the evening, she leans forward on her bar stool, narrows her eyes and goes "I know there was some reason I swiped right on you".
Because at this point she could not remember 😂. ThatsASaabStory
crap happens mate....
Met with a girl at a bar in Philadelphia on a Friday night around 6PM. It was fun and we drank a lot, but I noticed that she was pacing MUCH faster than me. I had around 4 beers in the time it too her to drink 7 martinis ($15 a glass). We are getting along well and she says that she needs to use the rest room. She took her jacket and purse to the restroom. I didn't think much of it but after an hour of sitting at the bar alone waiting I realized that I got used for a heavy pregame.
The bartender kinda realized it. When I asked for the tab he shrugged and was like "crap happens mate. I took two drinks off your tab." djm2491
Since I'm a weirdo.....
I had about given up on dating in general after I broke up with another loser I had met on there. But I decided to revamp my profile a little and put exactly what I was looking for. I.e. looks don't matter, but you have to have a job, and not live on your mom's couch at 33, and have some goals regardless of how big or small they are, etc. I included that I am a professional with my own place, car, full time job, and college degree and though education isn't a deal breaker I just want someone I can have a conversation with. It was pretty straightforward.
I included that I like fun stuff too, because I am not a very serious person I just was tired of getting involved with losers. I went from getting several messages a day from guys to maybe a message a week.
Since I'm a weirdo, I made a second profile. I had zero pics of my face, and only partial body pics. I had pics of me with boxes on my head, wearing weird masks, etc. I put how I only read the necronomicon and I have antlers, and I glow in the dark or some weird shit. I got a crap ton of messages to that profile.
One of them ended up being my current partner of 6 years. Lol... once I sent him an actual pic of me he said he recognized me from my other profile. I asked later why he didn't message me on that one and he said I seemed scary or something.
Now I know that asking for a guy with goals is scarier than potentially being an antlered necromancer. jahlove24
Mix It Up.
Putting all my eggs in one basket. Once I start a conversation with one person, I just stick with that person until I know it's not going to go anywhere. I can't deal with trying to remember stuff about two+ people at the same time. I don't mind though if the person I'm talking to is talking to more than one person as long as if we're on a date, they're not on the phone to them or mix us up. hotchocolatelover
So Vain....
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Agreeing to meet someone with a topless profile pic. My God he was vain. Sinnes-loeschen
From the Bots.
I matched a girl who looked really cool and complimented her hair. She responded with something along the lines of "I'm so glad you messaged me, most of these guys just match and never message." I've seen almost exactly the same line before from bots, so I assumed she was a bot and said something snarky about it.
She replied, upset, and then unmatched me. D_Thought
Be Wittier....
Not being exciting or witty enough in the text game. In real life my expressions and demeanor save me, not so much online. brucekeller
I'm the opposite, I'm so smooth over text but super awkward in person. My texting personality and in person self are basically two different personas, which is probably off putting. Lightning_Larry_
Freak On.
She was being flirty but I just kept asking "how's your day going" "what are you up to" and other generic questions until she stopped and never messaged me back. hayisforhorses101
Step yo freak game up son. satanvacation
Close Encounters....
Chatted with them a year by phone, once we met we had nothing to talk about and it was the most awkward encounter of my life. MattSouth
Sometimes chemistry fails to translate to IRL. If it was a good fit, you would still have had topics of conversation. greywolfau
Her What?
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Her husband.
You have no idea how many neglected wives are out there online and they love to omit the fact that they have husbands. Watch out for the milfs. She'll break your heart and her husband will break your neck. syringelol
But we should also be prepared and ready to ask the right questions to have a leg up on the competition.
"What is THE best question to ask on a job interview?"
A company's history or information about a past employee were suggested subjects appropriate for questioning.
Prior Knowledge
"When you were interviewing here, what would you have liked to know before you joined?"
"This worked for me. I asked my interviewer a question about how she had personally dealt with a company policy she had just explained. She bragged about her stellar adherence to the policy. I nodded my approval. I got the job."
A Previous Employee
"One that has always gone over well for me:"
"What were some qualities that the previous employee in this role brought to the job that you would like to see carried forward?"
"Another good thing to do is research the company you are interviewing with and you can ask things about what they may be involved in or you could drop that while reading about the company, you wondered this."
Hypothetical questions were suggested as helpful examples of inquiry.
Indicators Of How Companies Treat Employees
"A question that landed me a job once was: 'If I asked your direct reports about your management style, what do you think they'd tell me?' Stumped a hiring manager and he emailed me personally to tell me about it, no one ever asked him that question but got the job.
"In my current interviews I'm asking 'what did your company do for its employees during [the virus] to improve their day to day, work life balance, etc.' and I ask 'Is there anything your company adopted during [the virus] that they plan to keep post [the virus]?"
"These questions give a lot of insight into whether a company treated their employees well."
Past Performance & Adjustments
"If we were currently sitting in my 1 year review, what would I have done in this year for you to say I excelled in my role?"
"If I could snap my finger right now and change anything about your job or the company, what would it be and why?"
The following questions about a prospective company may not be answered from initial digging on their website.
Measure Of Success & Career Trajectories
"How is success measured in this role?"
"What are some possible career trajectories within the company that could stem from this position?"
Being A Solution
"Ask them what is the biggest problem you can solve for them in your first six months with the company. Similar to 'don't think of a purple hippo,' this forces them to imagine you succeeding in the position."
Simply The Best
"Who is your best employee and why is he/she the best?"
"You will then face 2 situations mostly:"
"panicking CEO who can't answer you 'Bob who works 17 hours a day for a slice of bread' so the fear in their faces must be a big nono for you"
"entusiast CEO who actually follow their business and can tell you who is an added value for the company and why."
– ThePiz91
My experiences with job interviews are different than others seeking work in office environments.
Having had a years-long career as a dancer, my "interview" was the dance audition, where hopefuls dance in small groups of people at a time after learning a routine and then awaiting their fate after the panel evaluates their performances.
The question I may or may not have asked in such a scenario earlier in my career was: "Did I make the cut?"
I did not make the cut. And I learned never to ask that again.
I remember the worst date I ever had. My biggest regret is that I stayed for the entire thing. I should've left as soon as I realized this was not going well, which was basically at hello. But he was paying so I drank, a lot. I'll keep names and dates to myself to protect the innocent.
0/10
Big Brother Reaction GIF by Big Brother After DarkGiphy"Went to brewery, date said I had hairy arms and that meant I was horny, said "you look really awful in this light" and then tried to dig out of that hole by saying in his native language that was a term of endearment long term couples said to each other. 0/10 did not date again."
Lucky 13?
"My wife wanted to plan our 13th wedding anniversary. I was excited because usually, I plan it. She bought us some new disc golf discs and after a quick supper, we went to play. We hadn't played in forever. We were laughing and I had a great time. She served me with divorce papers and told me that the date was a test to see if she still had feelings for me. I also learned that she was having an affair that started well before our anniversary."
- rmorlock
Two Hours from Home
"Not necessarily a date but a person I was dating invited me to his parent's house for the afternoon. He wanted to introduce me to them and show me the house he grew up in. I thought it was super sweet and had no problems going. He was also in the middle of moving and needed to pick up a few things, so it really didn't seem that unusual."
"Yeah, we got there and it was awful. His entire family was there. They traveled from hours away too. This was not just meeting the parents, it was meeting the ENTIRE family. Even worse? At some point, this idiot told his parents that he had proposed. We had been dating TWO months. I spent the entire afternoon dumbfounded and just playing along."
"We were two hours from home and I had no cell service, no way to leave at all. We ended up spending the afternoon brainstorming wedding ideas and planning an Alaskan honeymoon that his parents planned to gift us. His brother even called to say congratulations! We drove back to his apartment in silence. When we got there, I got in my car and left, didn't even bother grabbing my stuff. Weirdest experience ever. I have no idea how he broke it to his parents that we weren't getting married."
You're Cut Off!
"Got set up on a blind date once between mutual friends. She shows up to the restaurant already a little tipsy, orders multiple appetizers and only takes like one or two bites from each one. Then she proceeds to order 3 or 4 more drinks and is visibly drunk at this point. She gets up and says she's going to the bathroom and staggers off. About 15-20 minutes go by so I try to call her several times but no answer."
"Finally I decide to pay the check and just leave. About 2 hours later I'm sitting at home and I get a call from an unknown number. It's the police department. She was picked up on a DUI on her way home after she ditched me and gave the cops my number to see if I could go bail her out!"
- mox44ah
Sorry?
Bbc Three Idk GIF by BBCGiphy"Well, I gave this answer on a different topic, but it ties in with this. We were out on a date, we had been seeing each other for a while, close to a year maybe. She gets a phone call. Suddenly she looks destroyed. Her fiancé had just died in a motorcycle accident."
What in the world? I mean how can we ever expect to pair off with the dating pool being inundated with liars and nut jobs? I'm going to delete my apps.
Girl, Bye.
Sassy Beyonce GIFGiphy"Had a girl openly flirt with the bartender in front of me. She says she wasn't. But handing him her own phone and asking for his contact info in front of her date seems like it to me."
Crazy!
"Came out from a movie, late at night, and date's Camaro was stolen. Apparently, he called his WIFE (that I did not know he had) and let her know where he was and what happened. She showed up and realized he was on a date! She started chasing ME around the parking lot telling me she was going to kill me. Saved by the cops who showed up just in time to take the auto theft report."
Hey Mom
"Met a girl at a country bar one night in my 20s. We were both pretty drunk but hit it off pretty good. Ended up getting her number and we agreed we'd go on a real date. Fast forward to the date, she gets in my vehicle and... she looks almost identical to my mom. I was mortified. I was polite and we went for lunch where I found out she also had a boyfriend she "wasn't sure if she was into". Never talked to her again."
- SgtGo
Liars...
"When I was in college many years ago, before the advancement of cell phones and social media, I was chatting with a girl I met on a BBS who lived on Long Island, NY. I was 18 at the time, but lied and said I was 22 because she said she was 25. We spent a few weeks emailing each other, as well as calling each other."
"We even exchanged pics. When we finally met up, things blew up. Turns out we both lied about our ages: She was really 33, and lied because she thought she looked younger. She admitted she sent a college photo to me. We still had dinner together, but it was awkward as hell. We never spoke again."
Doubles
Kill Me Now Season 1 GIF by FriendsGiphy"It was a double date. She was more interested talking to the other girl throughout the whole thing. Found out later from the other guy that his girl cheated on him with my date."
Ummm... I think I'm just going to stay single. That is a handful of crazy. Why can't people just be honest? I swear the search for love warps people's brains. Be careful out there people.
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