Some of us are fortunate to be families of good cooks. Some of us are not so lucky, and that's a shame.
But whether you are or aren't, we've all sat down to a disappointing––if not downright awful––meal. And whether you've liked it or not, we've all been in a position where we had to eat something for fear of offending our host.
Nasty appetizers and unsettlingly terrible main courses took center stage after Redditor bogwhoppers asked:
"Redditors, what's the worst thing you've eaten out of politeness?"
"My grandmother is a terrible, terrible cook."
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My grandmother's chili. My grandmother is a terrible, terrible cook. I've gotten food poisoning multiple times from her but this chili nearly killed me. She made it in her crockpot. I lived with my grandparents, my younger sister and our mom at the time, my mom was out of town. The first night the chili was good. Everything was fine. She made a huge batch so we had it again the next day. It was still okay, a little bit off but not the worst thing I ever ate.
I was so sick that night. Spewing from both ends. The third night the smell was horrible, the chili was popping and effervescence with tiny gas bubbles. I was nine, we had just learned about bacteria in school. I refused to eat more than a bite. It was pop rocks mixed with rotten meat. I asked her how she stored the chili. In the crockpot she said defensively. "It's okay to leave things in there, I even remembered to unplug it!" We lived in Georgia, it was the summer. She didn't make chili she made a science experiment on the kitchen counter.
"When my sister was 5..."
When my sister was 5, she had my mom, friend and I sit for her tea party.
She made us drinks.
I asked her what she gave us and she said it was water and sparkle perfume.
"My sister..."
My sister was trying to be nice after I had taken care of her for 3 years while she dealt with her mental health.
She tried to make me a pizza. It came out more like charcoal. Like fully all black.
She tried so hard to make me happy for once that I had to at least get some of it down; "It's not as burnt as it looks! Really yummy." She was really happy with herself after that.
"Don't even have words..."
Husband's mom made a lemon pie, but it was a "special recipe" she learned from her friend where there was no sugar and the crust was made of saltine crackers. Don't even have words for how sour and salty it was. But you best believe I ate it as it was "delicious."
"It was a white tube..."
Was working in China. They had a big celebratory banquet for us. They served a local delicacy - "sea worms." It was a white tube that when immersed in near freezing water essentially dissolved into a gelatinous lump. Think fish-flavored jello, with just a hint of residual gristle. Ugh. Had to eat several servings while downing shots of Maotai.
"My ex-sister in law's..."
My ex-sister in law's spinach casserole. My daughter puked it up into their heat vent and I had to clean it out.
"Girlfriend in college..."
Girlfriend in college wanted to be nice to my roommate and me because she often ate over at our apartment, so she was to cook dinner one night. Teriyaki steak.
Somewhere along the line, she got tbsp and cup mixed up, and added 3/4 cup of salt. Pretty sure we were nearing the LD50 of salt for a human, but I ate as much as I could, and drank as much water as I could for the next few days...
"My beloved but very elderly gram-in-law..."
My beloved but very elderly gram-in-law made chocolate chip cookies in which she messed up the sugar and salt AND mistook the dried black beans in her cupboard for chocolate chips. Ohhhhh dear.
"My grandma died right before Christmas..."
My grandma died right before Christmas. We all got together for the holiday and my aunt was understandably still taking it really hard. She'd made something she called "vanilla angel food pudding cake."
It was in a shallow casserole dish. Top layer was whipped cream and cookie crumble. Middle layer was vanilla pudding. Bottom layer was crumbled angel food cake... soaked to the top in a massive pool of bourbon. The cake was floating in the bourbon. We'd later found out she'd mixed even more bourbon in to the pudding layer.
She didn't tell anyone it was alcoholic so we all got scoops assuming it was a syrup or something. My cousin was the first to bite into it and had to run to the trash can to vomit as soon as it got in her mouth. Another person got a forkful near their nose and freaked out and yelled in shock. Cue my aunt beginning to completely melt down about how she's trying so hard and she got the recipe from a friend and it's not THAT much alcohol and grandma was such a good cook she would've helped her etc etc like full blown about to lose it. The cousin that vomited tried to claim it was something else while the yeller tried to play off that they saw a bug across the room.
Everyone else was sufficiently guilted into eating at least some of what they'd scooped onto their plates. That was physically painful to eat. Everything burned. Looking around the table you would've thought we were all downing spoonfuls of wasabi. I was 19 but I guess my parents were more worried about my aunt than me getting underaged sloshed on pudding but about halfway through my portion they found a discreet way to dump my plate. The whole place reeked a couple minutes after we dug into the "pudding" too so it was this awful inescapable sensory overload of bourbon.
"I came home from school one day..."
I came home from school one day and was hungry and told my mother that and she told me there was blueberry muffins. So I took one and when I took a bite it was the driest most flavorless thing I've ever eaten. So as to not upset my mother I ate it and when I came back my mom was laughing and I asked what was funny and she told me they were a friend of her's muffins and my brother had spit them out when he tried it. So basically I got pranked by my mom.
"Was visiting Guatemala..."
Was visiting Guatemala, and this old lady invited us to dinner. In this country, it's extremely rude to not eat what was placed before you. Unfortunately, this lady served us a vegetable soup with some meat in it that tasted like chicken broth from hell. She didn't eat with us, as she was being polite or something. She didn't even talk to us during the dinner.
We took a taste, and nearly wanted to puke. However, due to the country customs, we decided to eat it. We barely could get through it. We ate about 3/4 of it and then mentioned we were just full. We both retched later on that night. It was so nasty!
Ran into the lady later in the week walking down the street, and she apologized to us. Apparently the chicken was rotten and she only took one bite. She then chastised us for not telling her.
Sometimes it's frustrating not knowing all the ins and outs of different customs!
"My grandpa made sushi."
My grandpa made sushi. With tuna, rhubarb, yellow mustard, seaweed, and undercooked rice. Watched me eat it make sure I got a taste of each ingredient. The entire time I ate it, I thought "this tough bastard made it through the beaches of Normandy, eat the sushi and smile."
"I went to Kenya..."
I went to Kenya on a college trip. For the first week we were there we built a kitchen into a school. Every day my buddy and I would joke about this goat at the school and his big it's nuts were.
Well fast forward and the last day we were there the school put on a feast, eating corn, beans and kale (grown at the school) with goat meat.
The local elders came by at the end to show their appreciation. My teacher (who was from Kenya) got up and said "the elders have prepared a delicacy, it is somewhat of an insult to not eat what they present you"
Bam here came the karma bus. Now I enjoy fried Rocky Mountain oysters, however what they served was a barely boiled got ball. I tore off a sizable chunk like a champ, I will NEVER forget the rubbery texture, or the ultra gamy taste, but I ate it like I was honored for even being offered.
"It's a symbol..."
In Arequipa, Peru I drank a blended mixture consisting of molasses, stout beer, raw eggs, some vegetables, and frog skin. Yes, the skin of a frog. It's a symbol for healthy fertility I guess, and the tour guide insisted we try it.
"Since it is in a spiral inside the shell..."
Sea snails with my Vietnamese friend. I paid for it when I tried to pull it out with my teeth instead of using the little toothpick. Since it is in a spiral inside the shell, it snapped out of the shell and sprung forth, bouncing off my face and onto the table, leaving my face covered in fishy smelling, briny sea water. I would have run straight to the bathroom, but I was temporarily brineded.
"We all got sick."
An undercooked potato, garlic, feta, chopped meat package in aluminium foil. It was supposed to be a Greek dish. We all got sick.
"I rented part of a house..."
Back in the late 1970s, I was sent from California to a rural Maryland town for a 6 months job assignment. I was used to the wide variety of very fresh vegetables grown within a couple of hours of my city. In that rural Maryland town, I rarely saw what I would consider good fresh vegetables, except for a very short season when farmers markets had local produce. I really missed my good veggies.
I rented part of a house that had been converted to apartments. The nice elderly couple next door had a huge vegetable garden, consisting primarily of green beans. I used to lust after those beans.
One day, Mrs. Neighbor saw me outside and invited me to join them later in the day for a barbecue. "We are going to have the first of our own green beans." I could hardly wait. I was so-o-o looking forward to those beans.
Mr. Neighbor barbecued and Mrs. Neighbor plated the food in the kitchen. With great pride, she handed me a plate containing an incinerated steak and a bunch of gray tubes. "We like our green beans best after they've been canned."
Yep. She had home-canned the green beans, then cooked them, Southern style, for a hour or so with a chunk of ham. I looked at my plate. I looked over at all those crisp, vibrant beans still on the plants. I looked back at my plate.
I never knew I possessed such good acting ability.
Not everyone needs to be a member of the clean plate club, not when it comes to some of these meals!
Do you have similar stories? Share them in the comment section below!
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Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen
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What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPost
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Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
sleepy kitten GIF
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Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official
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Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
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"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
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"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
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"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.