People Reveal The Moment They Decided To Never Have Children
Being a parent is a beautiful, rewarding, messy, complicated, magical thing. It's also absolutely not for everyone. We understand not everyone gets a choice in the matter, but quite a few people do - and the ones who do often times just say no.
One Reddit user asked: People that decided on NEVER having children - What was the moment you knew it's just not for you?
Some of the responses were things we expected, but others really caught us off guard and made us think. Some seemed almost sad, while others seem like they'd throw themselves a No Kids parade daily if they could... which they can, because they don't have kids who would have a problem with that sort of thing!
50. They're Boring[rebelmouse-image 18355082 is_animated_gif=
I knew since I was very young that I never wanted kids. I didn't want to play with baby dolls as toys, I never played with my younger cousins either, I just never liked babies or kids. When I see animals, I have the ability to genuinely say "awwwww" and feel a desire to love them. With children, it's the opposite because I make a conscious effort not to acknowledge them either by eye contact or smiling. I don't want to be bothered with them.
It's not that I hate them, I just don't find them very interesting at all.
49. Unless I'm A Millionaire[rebelmouse-image 18355083 is_animated_gif=
I'm in my mid 20's and I'm just wrapping up on my student loans this year. Then I'm determined to move to a new city and get established with a lucrative job while having a small business. I'm hoping to start traveling a lot. Can't travel when I have kids, and I'm really focused on my career. I don't even know if I would want to buy a house.
**Unless I'm a millionaire, kids would definitely impede on my goals. **
There are a lot of things I want to do that would leave me with no time to raise them. There might be a time when I'm at the stage where I'm more than financially stable and I'm emotionally ready enough to have children and take care of them. However, in the foreseeable future, my emotional/financial state, I'm definitely NOT up for the responsibility.
48. Thanks, Teach![rebelmouse-image 18355084 is_animated_gif=
When I was in high school we had a teacher that encouraged us to do an exercise of mapping out expected milestones in our lives based on how we saw it. Eg, in 4 years we graduate from high school, 4 years after that we graduate from college, what age we expect to be married, what age we expect to have kids etc. When we got to the part about kids "leaving the nest" I was excited that that was when I would have my life back while the rest of the class was like "omg empty nest so sad".
The teacher looked at me and said:
"You know, if you're already excited about your kids leaving and you haven't even had them yet you might not want to have any."
It was like a switch just went off in my mind and I realized I had never wanted any in the first place and I could actually choose not to have them.
47. Traveling And Being Selfish Is Awesome[rebelmouse-image 18355085 is_animated_gif=
I've always said I never wanted kids, since middle school. People would always tell me:
**"Oh, you'll change your mind some day. You're going to find a nice man, get married and have kids." **
I also said I'd never get married. Never liked anyone enough. Until now. He also doesn't want kids. So we're going to travel and be selfish and save our money and it's going to be awesome
46. They're Not A Retirement Plan[rebelmouse-image 18355086 is_animated_gif=
In my country, people don't move out when they become adults. Instead, they stay home to take care of their parents, who took care of them when they were young. I've seen some unsuccessful people decide to have kids as a retirement plan. They raise children while hoping that one day their sons or daughters will become something like a professor or politician. That way they have the money to improve their parents and sibling's lives.
It's like some babies are only born to be the one who will fulfill their parents dream. There's no attempt to hide it. These kids know from childhood that they must make money and that taking care of the family falls on them. That huge responsibility messes with them. It causes low morale and often times neglecting themselves physically so focus solely on work and study for the sake of money. That makes me and my partner never want to have children. We do not like what is expected of them by our culture and in our country.
45. "I Don't Understand Them, And I Dislike Them."[rebelmouse-image 18355087 is_animated_gif=
I used to dance around how much I dislike kids, because it gets people defensive, but now I just say it.
I don't understand them, and I dislike them. Now, that isn't to say I'm going to be rude or anything. I try to be nice, and polite, because as a society teaching kids to be nice is part of everybody's responsibility (IMO).
But like... I just don't like them. And apparently that makes me bad?
I once said that kids confuse and frustrate me, and that I didn't want any, and somebody said, "Oh thank God, I was just going to tell you you'd make a horrible mother. You always talk about being worried you'll hurt them. But you're too angry to be a mom."
Yeah! They run around at foot- to knee-height! I sometimes accidentally nudge my cat if she darts in front of me when I'm walking. Like hell I'm not going to be safe around zooming tiny humans who'll cry at a slight provocation (like I used to)!
I don't want kids because one, I don't want them.
Two, they're loud and they cry and I don't know how to calm them down.
Three, I don't want them.
Four, I do get angry quickly. I don't handle stress well.
I refuse to put I child I'm "supposed" to have at risk of being emotionally damaged because of my faults.
44. Love Cats, Not Kids[rebelmouse-image 18355088 is_animated_gif=
My mom has made pregnancy absolutely revolting for me. Chafing and stretching, tearing and nonconsensual sewing and tucking... a doctor gave her a tummy tuck while sewing up the C-section to keep her "pretty for hubby," because general consent was considered implied during surgery in the Air Force in the 80's and this happened on a USAF base in Korea.
The plan me and the man have is to start investing in units to rent out and using the income there to work on fostering kittens and cats for homes so they don't get killed.
We love cats. We don't love kids.
43. When Parents Are Strangers[rebelmouse-image 18355089 is_animated_gif=
It just slowly happened. However I can pinpoint the final nail in the coffin.
My brother is a sociopath. When he finally went to prison, my parents suddenly went from thinking they had 6 more years of a kid in their house to being empty-nesters. After around 30 years of marriage, they realized they were complete strangers. They didn't know if they had anything in common anymore.
I didn't want kids at that point, but the idea of being with the person I want to spend my life with and someday realizing the only thing we have in common is our kids was a terrifying idea.
I'm in my 30's now. I got sterilized a few years ago and have never had any regrets!
(For anyone interested, they're celebrating their 40th anniversary this year and are still deliriously in love!)
42. Barely Talked About Anything But The Kid[rebelmouse-image 18355090 is_animated_gif=
My now-wife and I had discussed kids and were strongly leaning towards no for a variety of reasons, but weren't 100% on board with the idea yet.
We then visited my brother as part of a vacation, spending a weekend with my brother, his wife, and their 3 year old son. I had been looking forward to this as they live several states away and I hadn't been able to spend time with my brother for ages.
I was hoping to hang out with him, have conversations, crack jokes, maybe even try some local beers. Instead the entire weekend was spent with my nephew. I barely got to talk to my brother about anything that wasn't nephew-related, the kid needed constant care and attention from everyone (myself and my fiancee included), etc,. As young children do.
So we went home having not gotten to spend any of the time I wanted with my brother. It was a stark lesson in just how much children change your life. We both were completely convinced that we did not want kids at all after that trip.
41. Wrong To Me[rebelmouse-image 18355091 is_animated_gif=
I have a genetic disorder that is a dominant gene, so any child I would have has a 50/50 chance to also have the disorder. There is also no genetic test for my sub-type of syndrome. So super not into the idea of risking it. And yes, I do judge people who have children with my syndrome because we know these odds and we know there is no test.
We all know how painful this is and to subject another life to this just because you want a mini-me is just plain wrong to me.
40. Useless Leeches[rebelmouse-image 18345802 is_animated_gif=
Half of my friends are just useless people that leech off their parents hard earned money. I realized the chances of me ending up with a kid like that is just too high, and its not worth the time/effort/money to feel obligated to love someone because they are related to you.
39. It's Forever.[rebelmouse-image 18355092 is_animated_gif=
Just the realization that it isn't something you can just let go of. It's not a job you can quit, a relationship you can end, etc. It's forever. That's something I never lose sight of. Especially when it does seem like a cool idea during that cute phase where the kids are between ages 2 and 10. But after that, you're just dealing with and responsible for this random person who never had to exist in the first place.
38. Mommy Monster[rebelmouse-image 18355093 is_animated_gif=
I was 12 or 13, riding in the car with my siblings and parents. My mom was being a horrible, as per usual, and she turned around and snapped:
**"I can't WAIT until YOU have kids, so you can see how awful it is!" **
I realized that if I had kids, there was the potential to also be a terrible mother, given that I bore certain unfortunate behavioral similarities to her. Like, that could be me one day sitting in the front seat yelling that to my own kids. And that was when I noped out - I didn't want to be her.
Thanks to that awareness, I've spent most of my life in therapy and counselling fighting the personality disorders I've inherited. I've come a long way and burned a lot of bridges, and it will definitely be a life-long process for me, but it's been worth it to get a semblance of control over the issues.
37. The Breakup[rebelmouse-image 18355094 is_animated_gif=
I'm planning on breaking up with my boyfriend tonight for this very reason. There's a fairly significant age difference between us and he wants kids. I realized I can't think of a single beneficial thing a child will do for me, he says he can wait till I'm older and ready but then I just feel like it's an inevitability and he's still not listening. I do not want them. Not I want them later. I. Do. Not. Want. Them.
I don't want to ruin my body. I don't want to ruin my bank account, I live in one of the most expensive cities in the world, how on earth would we pay for a kid? I want to focus on my career. I want to earn money and travel the world one day. Not spend the rest of my life raising a parasite.
36. Tone Change[rebelmouse-image 18355095 is_animated_gif=
There was no one moment, we just never wanted any. I'm almost 40 now, and have noticed that the tone has shifted from smug people thinking that I'll change my mind, to pity from people who didn't realize that it was intentional.
Now, I just get a kick out of making people uncomfortable when I say that my husband and I "were never blessed with children."
People get squirmy, some tell me about their cousin's neighbor's sister that had a 'miracle baby' at age 42, and a slew of other fun ways to play with the social lines of acceptable discussion points
35. Early Retirement[rebelmouse-image 18355097 is_animated_gif=
It's awesome. Childless by choice, we retired really early (40ish) and have been to all 50 states, all 7 continents, 70+ countries and 282 of 417 National Parks. On our own time whenever we want to go.
34. Medical Exclusion[rebelmouse-image 18355098 is_animated_gif=
I'm hypersensitive to sound. Loud and high pitched sounds hurt me. The sound of children crying is physically painful to me, to the point that if I don't have earplugs on me and a kid starts crying, I need to leave the room immediately.
You can't be a parent if you can't handle crying kids.
33. Bad Investment[rebelmouse-image 18355099 is_animated_gif=
The Return On Investment just doesn't seem to be there. We prefer a bank account balance that doesn't give us anxiety. Children are expensive and would prohibit me from doing a lot of things. Visiting long time friends and family who now have kids is a total crap-shoot. You go over there to talk and spend a little time with these people you never get to see, and they spend the entire time wrangling their offspring.
I went over my brothers house one day to help him fix some electrical and got yelled at by his wife to be more quiet because the kid was napping. I mean, howdahf*ck am I supposed to work on your house and not make noise?!
But I digress, I love the kids themselves, especially my Niece and God Daughter. I like to spoil them, spend time with them, and then send them home with their parents. When I explain to people that I don't want kids I typically get asked:
_"Aren't you worried what you'll do when you're older and need someone to take care of you?" _
If the only reason you had kids is to secure your twilight years, that's some selfish bull. What if your kid decides that looking after the old man when he's shitting himself doesn't sound like such a great idea...or what if they are physically or financially unable to do so? We just think that you should have kids because it's something you really want to dedicate your life to and something that your financial situation allows you to do properly. That's not us.
32. Sleep, Privacy, Alone Time[rebelmouse-image 18348706 is_animated_gif=
I don't mind kids, I like to give them back.
They are so time consuming and I'm too selfish to have kids. I like sleep, privacy, alone time. I used to baby sit my friends kid overnight and during the day until the dad came home and then I'd have to stay to put the kid to bed. Doing that for a couple weeks just solidified to me that I'm not cut out for it. My partner understands but as it stands I'm not having kids and I feel like that won't change.
31. Not in the cards....
When I realized it was an option. When I was younger I assumed that's just what you do, grow up, have kids, deal with the kids. It took me some time to notice that it's possible to choose not to have children, at which point I thought that sounded like a great choice for me. sexrockandroll
30. Free Bird....
There was no such moment. I've never even considered having kids. I feel neither the desire nor the necessity of producing offspring. I like being free, unbound. You can't really do whatever you want, with kids in the picture, can you? Kids become a constant. YouTubeIsAJoke
29. Why am I here?
When I was around 7 years old and thought for the first time "I didn't ask to be born." Reddit
That factors into my decision as well. I've lived a life that most people can be envious of, but I just don't think the world is good enough to forcefully bring someone into. I don't want to subject another person to the flaws of humanity. Zerole00
28. Zero Sorries....
I have never wanted them. I'm a 40 year old female and have zero regrets. I like kids, they are cool, just have never wanted my own and have never wavered even for a second. Lindsey-905
Same here at 37. I like kids aged about 5 and up and was even a teacher for a few years, but don't care for babies and actively dislike toddlers, so I'm not sure I could cope with those early years. I can't remember any point in my life at which I wanted to have kids of my own. LogicalBike
27. Counting the Coins....Giphy
When I looked at my bank account. GorillaS0up
"You'll make it work." -various parents
Probably the worst financial advice anyone could dispense. I don't think people truly realize just how expensive kids are. summerofsmoke
26. Nintendo First...
I got a nintendo switch and realized I'm no where near done being a kid. mrsplackpack
Kids: $200,000 Switch: $300 I don't know about you but I've made my decision. max_costco
When I was like 14, in health class. The teacher was talking about pregnancy, stuff I thought I knew (period stops, you feel great until birth) was turned upside down and I realized holy sh!t, that's terrifying. Especially when he talked about being able to see the baby's fists and sometimes a slight outline of its face on his wife's stomach. I became tokophobic from that moment on. catinthexmastree
24. Break the Cycle...
Quite understandable. Actually, another reason I don't want kids is that my grandmother would get very angry very quickly and not always rationally, and I've inherited that tendency. It doesn't last, and I know I would love my kids to death the rest of the time, but I think it's extremely likely that I would occasionally get frustrated and snap and treat my kids the way my mom and uncle were sometimes treated, which sometimes crossed over the border into child abuse. I don't think it's fair to put kids through that. So I totally understand how you feel. LogicalBike
23. Save the Vagina!
There wasn't a single moment for me. I always knew it was the option I wanted. The earliest moment I can remember clearly is when I was about 3 years old and my mom told me that babies come out of your vagina. I thought that sounded horrible and I didn't want that for me. (Bless my mother for being so honest with me. I'm thankful she didn't keep secrets.)
From then on, the more I discovered about motherhood, the less I wanted it. I was horribly afraid of the idea of pushing a baby out of me. I didn't want to give up my freedom.
I've had dreams of being a popstar, traveling the world, and starting a business, and it would all be much harder with a child. I've no doubt I would make a great mother, but I would be miserable. Just the thought of a fetus growing inside me makes me cringe.
There are selfless reasons too: less environmental impact, fighting overpopulation, and better resource allocation. If I took all the resources I could spend creating a child and gave it to someone who already exists who really needs it, I will have reduced the total suffering in the world. Lil-Miss-Anthropy
22. I'll Pass....
I hate that people act as though you're some kind of sad sack because you don't want kids. It's as though everyone who has children is so happy and illuminated. We all know that's not true. Most parents I see say they love their children and don't regret having them, but they seem so stressed. It's just not a life I want to live. Reddit
Thats the thing I always find amusing, people always say no one is ever unhappy to have a kid, but I think it is more that they don't want to admit it was a mistake. I think I would even have a hard time admitting it to myself. Securitron81624
I'm still on the fence, but I know for sure I don't want to have kids of my own. I'm short, fat and socially inept. I don't want my kids to hate their bodies/personalities as much as I hate mine. Plus, pregnancy freaks me out in a way I can't fully explain. The idea of a human just growing inside you makes me squeamish.
Babies in general are gross. I love babies, and I love my friend's babies with all my heart, but they're gross. I had to change a diaper once and thought I was gonna vomit.
So if I ever decide kids are for me, I want to adopt an older kid who at least is capable of cleaning up after themselves. There will still be messes, but of the much more manageable variety.
Plus, older kids are cool. They can tell you all about their day, likes/dislikes, etc. My friend's kiddo is just now mastering her words. Again, I love the little nugget, but I'm psyched for when she'll be able to really talk about herself. The_Late_Gatsby
20. Not a Fail!
There wasn't really one moment, but...when I was in my last year of college I had a condom failure. I took plan B, but that really screwed up my hormones, so first I bled for like 10 days and then my period stopped for 3 months. I was almost hysterically, irrationally convinced I was pregnant anyway. I started looking up late term abortion providers across the globe. I was so ANGRY my body could do this, I just argued with pro-lifers online to let off steam. It was not a mentally healthy situation. Sure I was young, but I wasn't 18, either - yet I realized how viscerally disgusted I was by the idea of pregnancy. A friend of mine got pregnant later that year, just before graduation - she kept it, and was fine with it.
I realized my feelings were very, very different from women who wanted kids - even when I was saying I'd have one "after I was 30" before. I realize that "after I was 30" was basically some random time in the future I never really thought was going to happen.
Around the same time, my grandmother became badly disabled (she was blind already, but more issues arose with age), and we decided to care for her at home. For me, this meant it sort of ended "fun" stuff I did with my mom, like going to the movies, because one of us always had to stay at home or we'd have to pay a nurse. Now I loved my grandma, but I hated every second of freedom taken away.
I decide I never wanted that again. I want to be able to get up at any time, and go anywhere I want. I know I wouldn't, because I'd love my kids as I also loved my grandma, but I'd resent them for it, too. Kay_Elle
19. Natural to who?Giphy
I feel this idea so hard. I like having my life be my own. Sure there are things I have to answer for - school and work and maybe at some point a partner - but I'm not in a field where if I need to not be present for a while someone is going to die. With kids that's a big risk, and you're selfish for even wanting time away from them, you terrible himself being, you.
Also I've never met anyone who got that body betrayal thing. "It's what your body is naturally meant to do!" If I had the option I would be an amorphous shambling mist that lives on the edge of the moors and devours the souls of wicked men, does any of that sound like I'm concerned with what I'm "naturally" supposed to do? shiguy
18. The Cons Outweigh!Giphy
There wasn't really a moment, I've just never felt any desire whatsoever to have kids. I can't think of a single benefit they would provide to me. I probably wouldn't even love them if I had them. Rpgwaiter
17. What if?
I once dated a man who wants kids and tried to want them for him, but I couldn't help but fear that I would get pregnant, push this thing out after 9 months, hold it in my arms, and feel nothing. How are you supposed to know you'll love it? How is anyone? Lil-Miss-Anthropy
16. IT JUST IS!
There was never "A Moment." I've just never wanted kids. I never felt that maternal instinct, I didn't play with dolls as a kid. I don't feel some biological clock ticking. I never woke up one day going "Nope! No kids for me!" It's just always been a thing. DesperatelyRandom
15. Learned from the Best!
I don't think there was a moment in particular, but it was more of a gradual thing as I saw friends and family members start to have children as well as listening and learning about other people's experiences. tengolacamisanegra
Little sister was born and no I don't hate her people who have had toddlers as siblings will understand. topkek565
14. Is that you?Giphy
When I met my sister after she had a kid. She's not the same person I knew (and not necessarily in a good way). She thought that having a kid would make her happy. But at this point in time, she's not. Maybe it 'will' make some people happier, but that a risky gamble on you, your partner, and the child. Especially since, society in the 'west' do not 'invest' in a kid as a life insurance anymore. Salt_is_Enough
13. I'm not suitable!
You are treated as the least important part of giving birth and you are charged an insane amount to do it, everyone judges you for how you raise your kids and everything you do is wrong and you're violently messing them up in every way, your life is no longer your own, I'm way too angry, I can't stand sudden loud noises, and I have too much hereditary stuff growing on my family tree to ever want to risk passing it along. I'm miserable, why would I want to make another person I know is going to be miserable too? shiguywhy
I may adopt one day, if I'm ever in a financial situation where I would be able to take care of that kid in the way they deserve, but a kid of my own making is a possibility I will never entertain. I've felt that way since I was seven years old. shiguywhy
12. Can't take the sick.....
I am extremely phobic of vomit. I know I could never be a good mother if my child was sick because I would be locked away in full-on panic mode.
I also was severely abused, beaten, and tortured as a child, and I have days where PTSD/Anxiety overcome me and I cannot function properly. No child should be subjected to that. I feel guilty my husband is subjected to that.
Also, my husband and I barely make enough to stay afloat. It isn't fair to the child if we don't make enough money to provide for them.
Plus, people are too quick to blame parents for things nowadays. Back when I was a kid, my mom would leave us at home while she worked and we would just wander off into the forest or go play in the creek. Now, parents get charged for things like letting an older sibling babysit or letting your kids wander off to a park by themselves. Booner999
11. I'd rather stay calm....
There's not really a defining moment. I've never wanted them. Ever. I'm 31 and not once in my life have I wanted a kid. Seeing kids in public tends to reinforce my decision.
I'm also selfish, especially with my time. A kid would just piss me off more than anything just because I could never do what I want to do. Keinichn
When I realized how many people's problems can be traced to childhood traumas. I realized I didn't want that responsibility. Also all my co workers just complain about how their kids kept them up all night and etc. XPTranquility
9. Adulting is a NO!
At 16 - "So I have some nasty genetics that I shouldn't pass on so I'll adopt."
Early 20s - "I kinda like traveling, maybe I'll be on team adopt one and done."
Me now - "How the hell do you adult? My adulting cannot even take care of me let alone a kid." rainfal
8. For the greater good....
As someone with a slew of mental health issues (bipolar, depression, OCD, anorexia, etc.) I realized that, just like there are people who physically cannot have kids for whatever physical complications, there are also people that are mentally unable to have kids, yet they still do because that physically can.
I recognize my mental limitations and simply do not want to be a parent who is mentally incapable of caring for their own child(ren), even if my body allows me to have them. It's not fair to the child, myself, or the rest of the world. SofaKeenGrad
7. 21 & Over....
I'm only 21, but have no intent to have children. I have known I didn't want kids since I was a kid myself. I never played house, never played with baby dolls, etc. I have grown up knowing I was not meant to be a mother. I have pretty intense parental issues with my own parents, and would be terrified I would totally ruin my kids life. There was never a "moment" for me, as it's something I've always known.
PS.) I mean this kindly, but please don't tell me I will "change my mind" about having kids. No, I won't. I'm sick of people telling me I'll DEFINITELY want kids when I'm older and how "heartless" I am for not wanting them in the first place. I do not want kids...I will never want kids. I also DON'T HATE KIDS!!! For some reason people equate not wanting kids to hating them. I like kids, I like being around kids, but being a mother just isn't for me. adcable2018
6. The Crazy Guncle....
When i realized i was gay, not that gay people cant be good parents, but I also think Im much more of a cool uncle then a father, plus i think people like me were born to love the idea of love, ill probably end up as "crazy uncle that owns a nature reserve in Montana." Killgarth
5. To Child or not to Child...
I keep saying it and people keep telling my I'll change my mind. I'm only 22 but I've seen so many examples of parents who do as much as they can to be good parents and their kids still end up crap heads. My step dad's daughters are older than me by a few years and the entitlement factor they both have is like that of a 14 year old; they don't ask for his money, they just take his credit card... And not for stuff like shopping, (although they do that too) but one of them just decided she needed invisalign braces and didn't even ask first... He's such a good guy too; he knows how to discipline but loves the crap out of his kids and it kills me the way they treat him.
I also don't understand why it seems like a requirement of marriage for it to be fulfilled. I want to get married one day but when I get married I don't know why I'd want to give up pretty much all of my free time when, between working, I'll barely have any time to give to the love of my life. Without kids, I'd be able to afford more time off to spend with my wife, I'll be able to afford trips and nice things for her and for myself and I'll be able to take opportunities that, whilst having kids I wouldn't be able to take.
Between the worry of doing my best, and still ending up with a shit kid, and closing a shit load of doors, I don't think kids seem as fulfilling as everyone tells me. If I want my life to be fulfilled, I strongly believe I'd be able to do a better job doing so without children. ItsBaithoven
4. I'm gonna barf....Giphy
i was vomited on. I was told it was cute. Im out. I am a sympathetic vomiter, meaning when someone vomits so do i. i would literally be vomiting on my baby for years. plus i have a genetic disorder that is a dominant gene, so any child i have is 50/50 to have it. and yes I do judge people who have children with my syndrome because of these odds and lack of test. We all know how painful it is. and to do that to another life just because you want a mini-me is just wrong to me. ThermohydrometricZap
3. Rule of 3
- I am autistic, and have an extensive family history of the condition. I can't do that to myself, and my potential offspring
- I honestly don't think I'd be a great parent. I get overwhelmed and emotionally withdrawn more easily than your average adult, and if I can't rely on myself to keep it together, why would I force some kid to attempt it?
- I work with kids through a program at my church, and while I enjoy working with kids, I'm adamant that parenting is not for me.
That being said, my four month old niece is my main motivation to look after myself, and to keep it together, and I am absolutely thrilled at the concept of being a loving and fun uncle. frontios1996
2. The Life Suck....
There wasn't one single moment. It was a gradual thing that I became more certain about as time went on. When I was in my 20s, I thought I'd want kids someday because it seemed like the normal thing to do. Then I entered my 30s, and I wanted kids even less. Unless I have a sudden change of heart, I don't think I'll ever want them. I see my friends posting pictures of their kids all the time, and it doesn't affect me like it does some people. It makes me feel sorry for them if anything, because all I see is a drain on time, money, and other resources. catching_signals
1. No Guarantees.....Giphy
I don't want to live 18 (or possibly more) years of my life dealing with a human who can potentially grow into an antisocial psychopath just because a bunch of other kids picked on him/her. In the end, I would have to take the blame on how my kid turned out to be. I lived a shitty childhood and wouldn't wish that on another human being.
I wasted enough time in my teens and early 20s. I just managed to pick up on a career again, and I don't want to waste another 20 or so hindering it for another human being. Reddit
I was at my sister's house hanging out with her and her then three year old. My sister got up to go to the bathroom and the kid wanted to come with her. My sister said no, and kid absolutely lost her crap. She was wailing and throwing a fit and banging on the door trying to get in cause she wanted to be with her mom so bad. I need my alone time and if I can't even go to the bathroom for peace and quiet I am never going to be completely happy, and I can't give the kid what they need. amandaalorian
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People Break Down Which Practices The United States Needs To Adopt From Other Countries
We can all agree that there is something to appreciate about every country in the world, but there are arguably some countries that appear to have their ducks more consistently and happily in a row than others.
While it would be easy to let pride get in the way and continue to do things the same way, the more productive thing would be to learn from the countries who have figured out a better way to do certain things, whether it's healthcare, food banks, or other services.
Reflecting on the United States, Redditor Blinds**thead asked:
"What is one thing the USA should adopt from some other country?"
Introductions to Alcohol
"Swedish drinking laws. If I remember correctly, you can purchase alcohol below 5% at age 18, and be served liquor in bars (so the bartender can control the amount being served)."
"Seems like a smarter way to introduce kids to alcohol rather than opening the floodgates at 21."
Taxes to Approve
"I've never done them but they seem complicated and stress my parents out, so I just know I'll f**k mine up and end up in stupid jail, lol (laughing out loud)."
"Just send me something to sign, please!"
"A prison system that focuses on rehabilitation instead of punishment. Many countries have been successful with this saving literally billions of dollars and cutting down on crime."
Universal School Lunches
"Universal school lunches. It is embarrassing that we do not have folks cooking lunches for students from scratch and that it is not provided for free to all students."
"Do you want to bring your own lunch? Great, but you can also have the free hot lunch that looks homemade, not pizza squares, canned veggies, a slice of fruit, and 3 oz of milk."
"Kids shouldn't be going into debt for lunch. We're probably wealthy enough that our food waste alone would be sufficient, if captured magically, to feed every kid in the United States three proper meals per day."
"Also walkable cities and above-ground monorail systems."
"Finland has recently ended homelessness by just allowing people to live in small apartments without any preconditions, and four out of five of them make their way back to a stable life."
"It's also cheaper than allowing people to be homeless."
Foster Care Assistance
"It would be nice to also eliminate the fees foster parents pay for general registration, classes, and social services related to fostering or adoption."
"And also eliminate trying to recoup costs by billing parents whose children have been placed in foster care."
Longer Paid Family Leave
"I was SUPER blessed to get 12 weeks fully pay. But that’s not enough time. Putting the emotional aspect aside, I’ve returned to work functioning on four to five hours of sleep a night, and my productivity and cognitive abilities are greatly handicapped."
"My three-month-old son can’t even hold his head up or sit, let alone talk to tell me if anything’s wrong, and he’s placed in the care of someone else from 7:15 am to 5:15 pm. Doesn’t seem healthy for mother or child."
"The fact that our toilets don't have bidets and that at public restrooms the gap between the doors is massive, are both disgusting. Our whole bathroom situation is messed up."
Having a Siesta
"According to Dr. Andrew Huberman, whether you eat lunch or not, everyone requires a rest midday."
Tax Included in the Price
"Man, I had such a hard time with this when I visited America. Maths in my head is not my forte and I’m so used to looking at prices and expecting that to just be the price."
"I don’t get why you wouldn’t just add in the tax to the price. No one wants to do math unnecessarily. I mean, we don’t even tip in Australia so I don’t even need to work that out."
Raising Multilingual Children
"Teaching a foreign language to young students in public schools (ie 5yrs, k-5) when the propensity to learn the language quickly is maximum."
Clean Public Restrooms
"The clean restrooms in Japan were amazing. I never had to clean a toilet seat to put my young kids on it. In the states? Near every time. People here just don’t care about the ‘we’ when it comes to restrooms."
Separate Work and Healthcare
"Decent healthcare that isn't tied to your job. Other countries all over the world have figured out different ways to do this, so why can't we? (I know, corporations own politicians.)"
"I'm not an expert, but I'm guessing it would destabilize a bunch of industries in the near term. But I wonder if long-term, it would create so much new innovation since people would be unafraid to lose their health benefits to leave their stable but s**tty corporate jobs to start new ventures."
Designated Drivers on the Go
"In Japan, there is a service that you can call 24 hours per day that will come with two drivers and one car. One driver drives you and your car home, and the other follows in their car to pick up the driver that took you home with your car. No DUI, etc."
"It's actually really affordable there. No need to get an uber home that night and then an uber back the next day when you are hungover only to find out you have a million parking tickets or your car got towed."
Though there are positives to every country, it would be so cool to see each country be more open-minded about adopting the positives of other countries.
If a country is doing something better than another, the best thing for the citizens would be to take some notes, rather than let their pride do the talking.
Every year, at the end of the Academy Awards, while the auditorium erupts in cheers upon the announcement of the Best Picture winner, as they are somewhat obligated to do, many viewers at home instead shake their heads and raise their eyebrows.
That's if they don't throw popcorn or worse at their TVs.
While those who did so when La La Land was announced as the winner in 2017 would end up getting their revenge in what remains one of the biggest blunders of Oscar history, others are still reeling at some past winners, which they believe were more worthy of a Razzie than an Oscar.
Taste being subjective, plenty of people still find themselves confused by some films which won countless awards, received across-the-board raves, and are considered classics or masterpieces, but they find to be utterly unbearable.
Often finding themselves in an unpopular minority and having to keep their opinion to themselves, similar to Seinfeild's Elaine Benes and her unique disdain for The English Patient.
"Which film that’s universally praised do you find utterly repulsive?"
"My best friend really enjoys movies that make you anxious and uncomfortable like 'Uncut Gems' and 'Good Time', but I firmly do not like those kinds of movies."
"I know it's the point, but i find no joy in the level of discomfort I feel while watching them."
"Some other honorable mentions:"
Not Exactly Authentic
"'The Greatest Showman'."
"Mostly on the grounds that the real P T Barnum was a f*cking monster."- LostMercenary99
"The real John Smith was a f*cking sick bastard and the true events most definitely weren't a love story at all."- CagedKagepocahontas GIFGiphy
Who The "Devil" Was Is Debatable...
"'The Devil Wears Prada'."
"I just wanted everyone in that movie to die in a fire."- PothierM
Tearjerker, Or Sleeping Pill?
"I don't know if it's universally praised but I f*cking hate it."- sara_c907
One Of The All Time Creepiest Shower Scenes...
"Every damn Christmas."
"To be fair I can’t really stand Will Ferrel in general."- cook-isationwill farrel ross geller GIFGiphy
The Title Could Refer To The People Leaving The Theater...
"'Fast and Furious', just a terribly written extremely corny show."- tds542
Fern Gully Did It Better...
"All day long."
'Those blue miserable tw*ts."- akbarkhan666
There Was Bound To Be One...
"I don't know about utterly repulsive, but I have a hard time seeing why everyone loves 'Citizen Kane'."
"And I understand that there was movie making before 'Citizen Kane' and movie making after 'Citizen Kane' such that it informed movie makers going forward as to how it's done, let's say, but after a certain point we, the audience, don't see that anymore, and it's just another movie."
"And then I hear people say well it highlights social hierarchy under capitalism and such, but a lot of movies do that."
"And then there's the twist at the end which is not much of a twist which is the point, I suppose, but the whole thing seemed like a letdown when I finally watched it."
'As a result while a lot of people say it's their number one movie ever or at least in their top 10, it's on my top 10 list of movies not to watch again."- emjayseacitizen kane applause GIFGiphy
Why Not Just Do A Documentary?
"I think it's atrocious how they create hyperreality by over romanticizing the life of a famous person."
"Out of all the awful biopics however, i despise 'Bohemian Rhapsody' the most."
"The scene where the band supposedly invents 'We Will Rock You' on the spot makes my skin crawl."
"How did that movie end up winning so many awards, despite all the plot inaccuracy's and the poor editing."
"It is really beyond me."- Biemolt
Maybe Too Realistic?
'Not utterly repulsive, but I'm in the minority for thinking that 'Nomadland''s Best Picture win was a joke."
"It was barely a movie and relied too much on performance exploitation of actual people for its thin-as-f*ck narrative."
"Honestly, it might be my least favorite BP winner of recent times, yes I'd say that even 'Crash', 'The Artist' and 'Green Book' were better."- SamwisethePoopyButt
Not To Mention That Fake Baby...
"Shameless piece of 'Merican' propaganda, and I couldn't help but laugh at Bradley Cooper's portrayal in the first half hour."- mos_methBradley Cooper Baby GIFGiphy
Truman Capote Would Agree...
"Breakfast at Tiffany's."- LucyVialli
He Did Not Have Them At Hello...
"It was just TOO. DAMN. LONG."
"The 'Show me the money' bit was funny, but it happened early on in the film, and the rest dragged on forever."- Brilliant_Tourist400
We All Know "Moonlight" Was Better...
"'La La Land'."
"The music was utterly forgettable and the plot felt like it was written by a bunch of Hollywood executives jerking each other off."- Aviator506Emma Stone Love GIF by La La LandGiphy
Needless to say, everyone's taste is different, and everyone is entitled to their opinion.
Meaning there's bound to be an argument at the next "movie night" you have with friends over whether to watch Citizen Kane or Spice World.
And you should feel no shame in expressing which movie you want to watch.
Or rather, "what you really, REALLY, want" to watch...
Everyone wishes there was something different about their body.
Smaller nose, longer legs, a different hair or eye color.
There are those, however, whose frustrations with their body are less personal, and more universal.
Finding themselves frustrated less with their own DNA, but with human anatomy in general.
Frustrated by how certain functions work the way they do, and feeling there could be significant improvements in other departments as well.
"What is the biggest design flaw of the human body?"
Would Make A Lot Of People Less Cautious
"Unable to regenerate body parts."
"You lose an arm or a leg, you can't grow a new one."
"We can grow hair and nails forever, but not body parts."- drygnfyre
And Maybe The Whole Childbirth Process While We're At It...
"The size of the average baby head vs the size of the average vagina."- Ruggiard
"The Obstetric Dilemma."
"Basically, the human body isn't built for easy birth."- strykazoidSeason 3 Baby GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
It Isn't Terribly Practical If You Think About It...
"IMO the whole 'we put food into the only air hole we have and can choke and die if we aren’t careful' thing is a pretty big miss."- el_rico_pavo_real
"Throat has a built in flaw - we breath n swallow food through the same area."- coolguy1793B
A More Direct Route Would Be Helpful
"I like the example of the recurrent laryngeal nerve."
"It runs from the brain to the larynx."
"However, to get there it goes from the brain, down the neck, into the chest, around the aorta and then back up the chest, up the neck and then connects to the larynx."
"That's a massive detour."
"It also means a blow to the chest can damage your ability to talk."- The_Thunder_ChildGiphy
Never Underestimate The Damage Teeth Can Do
"The fact that I sometimes accidentally eat the inside of my mouth."- -Grey_Area-·
He Does Have A Point
"'Nostalgia is the greatest human weakness. Second only to the neck'... -Dwight Schrute
In Plain Sight...
"In our eyes, the blood vessels supplying our photoreceptors are in front of them and therefore in the way of the incoming light."
"Probably not the biggest and there are some good justifications for it being set up this way."
"But it still must be such a pain for the brain constantly having to edit these out when forming our visual experience."- oliwoggleLoop Eyes GIF by Doze StudioGiphy
Maybe Just Every Illness And Ailment?
"My aunt had one when she was 31 and the healthiest person in the world."
"Ran an aerobics class at the Y, just perfect perfect health."
"Went to Pizza Hut with her the night before, next day, massive stroke, almost died, critical surgery, twenty years later she still has trouble speaking."
"There is no reason that should’ve happened."
"Perfectly healthy person damaged for the rest of her life."
"She’s still amazing and lovely and my favorite person but damn is that annoying."- Jibber_Fight
"You can kinda just die at any moment from a brain aneurysm, even if you're perfectly healthy."- mcsteve87
All Our Bones Could Be Stronger...
"For upright walking creatures, why is our head so (relatively) delicate?"
"Trip a single time and you're blinded, have brain damage, bit off your tongue, or lost teeth."- kmn493Episode 15 Pain GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
They Arguably Also Weren't Built For Stairs...
"Our knees for sure."
"They just weren't built to last past 40 years."- TopShelfCrazy
A Couple More On/Off Switches Would Be Helpful As Well...
"That we cannot delete or sort unwanted/not needed info and memories from our brains."- PickAName616
As the saying goes, "nobody's perfect."
Or rather, "no BODY is perfect."
Otherwise, we'd all stop complaining about aching limbs or worrying about choking or other injuries.
People Share The Absolute Worst Relationship Advice They've Ever Received
Relationships are hard, and sometimes, they're confusing. When you're having a problem with your partner, or you're inexperienced and looking for lessons, you turn to your friends and family for advice.
Sometimes, the advice is sound and helps make things better.
Other times, the advice is trash and makes everything worse.
Redditors know this all too well, and are sharing the worst relationship advice they've ever gotten.
It all started when Redditor Spectrelegit asked:
"What is the worst relationship advice you've ever heard?"
Loyal As A Dog
"Any "loyalty tests". Always a bad idea."
"Heard a youtube therapist once say that as soon as you decide to do a loyalty test, you've already decided the relationship is over because either they fail and you can't trust them, or they pass and you show them that you don't trust them and they stop being able to trust you"
"Ultimatums fall under a similar category."
"If this is a current situation it sounds pretty toxic, and if you are unhappy I hope you get the support you need to make any changes."
Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend
"Spend 3 months salary on an engagement ring. This was literally started by the rich diamond families to increase sales."
"My girl literally threw a jewelry store book at me with the ring she wanted circled and happily said there was a coupon lol. It was like $80 but it's the one she wanted. We've been together for almost 10 years and happily married for nearly 3 now"
"Yeah it's ridiculous, there's lab created gems that are basically the same and a fraction of the cost."
"I’ve said this to friends and family several times when they’ve asked me while stressing about picking out expensive rings:"
"if the ring is the problem, then the ring is not the problem."
Not The Way To Go
"There was a Reddit post about a guy who told his partner that she stunk several times a day. Poor girl was horrified. It got to the point that she was showering incessantly, using industrial strength deodorants and he still complained non-stop."
"Paraphrasing here, but when finally confronted, it turns out his father had given him this sound advice: “Tell a women she smells bad, and she’ll never leave you.”"
"Daddy was wrong."
Anything Doesn't Go
"That you only truly care if you're "ride or die.""
"An ex once told me that she thought if she pushed me far enough that I'd leave. I told her "Yes, I would leave. Why would I want to be with someone who thought so little of me that they'd push me far enough?""
"I had put up with a lot of abusive behaviour from her and it didn't last much longer before she tested my statement and I did exactly what I said."
"Totally!! And that you should love your partner “unconditionally” ie any behaviour goes. Nope"
Maybe Not The Right Person To Ask
"A friend of mine once prefaced some unsolicited advice about my 10-year marriage with the phrase, "I've been in dozens of relationships..." and then he went on to rant about how men shouldn't do the grocery shopping or something stupid like that."
"Right, we had a three times divorced friend who loved to give relationship advice. Most of it was BS."
"The Children" Need A Good Example
"Stay together for the kids."
"I was the child. Please don’t."
"I was also the child. Your children know when you don’t love each other, when you’re fighting all the time because you decided to stay with someone you can barely tolerate. They will live with that knowledge and grow up with a warped perception of love and relationships because they were never given a proper example."
"They will either become obsessive and do whatever they can to make someone stay, or they’ll develop a fear of commitment that will ruin every relationship before they even get the chance to try it. Divorce can be messy, especially when kids are involved, but sometimes the alternative can be far worse. If you decide to have kids, do right by them."
"“There is a perfect person out there”"
"No. No there isn’t. There is no such thing. People change as they experience life. To believe someone will stay the same forever is silly. Pick someone who you can grow with and shares common values with you. Everyone has to make some compromises and that includes someone making them on you too."
Not A Great Justification
"Being married is like eating spaghetti every night for dinner. No matter what sauce you put on it, it's still spaghetti. Sometimes a man needs to eat some steak once in a while."
"That was from my dad while trying to justify cheating on my mom."
Look Good For You
"My (very attractive but very unhappy in her own marriage mother) tried to make me believe that the secret of a successful marriage is to look desirable at every hour of the day and night . Make up, clothes, perfume… anything to keep the husband interested. Having a personality is nice but not necessary."
"I feel guilty of this, although I also feel like I can take the time to get ready all I want, he’s still going to admire someone else and probably in front of you. Just get ready for yourself if it makes you feel better. I have always hated to go out in public to run into anyone bareface, whether it’s an old friend, someone who picked on me in school, an old crush."
"Not sure where it came from me being this way but growing up my parents made fun of me when I’d have no make up on. If I got bad grades or did something that upset them they’d take it away and give it back saying “I need it.” Then other days tell me I wear too much of it, like high school wasn’t enough already. I could never win."
"I know several people who believe this and it’s sad"
Don't Be Who You Are
"When I was a teenager, my mom told me to not let boys see I was smart because no man is attracted to a woman whose smarter than he is. Also, I should work on my laugh because no one would be attracted to my laugh."
"Being smart and passionate about your interests is the most attractive thing ever"
Tell Me I'm Right
"Most people that come to you for relationship advice don’t want to advice they want you to validate the terrible decision they are about to make."
"I think your statement applies to advice in general. A lot of people to want to actually change or put in effort, they just want validation for their choices."
Yeah, that tracks.
We cannot believe some folks are dishing out such advice!
Has anyone every told you something truly crazy to keep a relationship propped up? Let us know in the comments.