
Being a parent is a beautiful, rewarding, messy, complicated, magical thing. It's also absolutely not for everyone. We understand not everyone gets a choice in the matter, but quite a few people do - and the ones who do often times just say no.
One Reddit user asked: People that decided on NEVER having children - What was the moment you knew it's just not for you?
Some of the responses were things we expected, but others really caught us off guard and made us think. Some seemed almost sad, while others seem like they'd throw themselves a No Kids parade daily if they could... which they can, because they don't have kids who would have a problem with that sort of thing!
50. They're Boring
[rebelmouse-image 18355082 is_animated_gif=I knew since I was very young that I never wanted kids. I didn't want to play with baby dolls as toys, I never played with my younger cousins either, I just never liked babies or kids. When I see animals, I have the ability to genuinely say "awwwww" and feel a desire to love them. With children, it's the opposite because I make a conscious effort not to acknowledge them either by eye contact or smiling. I don't want to be bothered with them.
It's not that I hate them, I just don't find them very interesting at all.
49. Unless I'm A Millionaire
[rebelmouse-image 18355083 is_animated_gif=I'm in my mid 20's and I'm just wrapping up on my student loans this year. Then I'm determined to move to a new city and get established with a lucrative job while having a small business. I'm hoping to start traveling a lot. Can't travel when I have kids, and I'm really focused on my career. I don't even know if I would want to buy a house.
**Unless I'm a millionaire, kids would definitely impede on my goals. **
There are a lot of things I want to do that would leave me with no time to raise them. There might be a time when I'm at the stage where I'm more than financially stable and I'm emotionally ready enough to have children and take care of them. However, in the foreseeable future, my emotional/financial state, I'm definitely NOT up for the responsibility.
48. Thanks, Teach!
[rebelmouse-image 18355084 is_animated_gif=When I was in high school we had a teacher that encouraged us to do an exercise of mapping out expected milestones in our lives based on how we saw it. Eg, in 4 years we graduate from high school, 4 years after that we graduate from college, what age we expect to be married, what age we expect to have kids etc. When we got to the part about kids "leaving the nest" I was excited that that was when I would have my life back while the rest of the class was like "omg empty nest so sad".
The teacher looked at me and said:
"You know, if you're already excited about your kids leaving and you haven't even had them yet you might not want to have any."
It was like a switch just went off in my mind and I realized I had never wanted any in the first place and I could actually choose not to have them.
47. Traveling And Being Selfish Is Awesome
[rebelmouse-image 18355085 is_animated_gif=I've always said I never wanted kids, since middle school. People would always tell me:
**"Oh, you'll change your mind some day. You're going to find a nice man, get married and have kids." **
I also said I'd never get married. Never liked anyone enough. Until now. He also doesn't want kids. So we're going to travel and be selfish and save our money and it's going to be awesome
46. They're Not A Retirement Plan
[rebelmouse-image 18355086 is_animated_gif=In my country, people don't move out when they become adults. Instead, they stay home to take care of their parents, who took care of them when they were young. I've seen some unsuccessful people decide to have kids as a retirement plan. They raise children while hoping that one day their sons or daughters will become something like a professor or politician. That way they have the money to improve their parents and sibling's lives.
It's like some babies are only born to be the one who will fulfill their parents dream. There's no attempt to hide it. These kids know from childhood that they must make money and that taking care of the family falls on them. That huge responsibility messes with them. It causes low morale and often times neglecting themselves physically so focus solely on work and study for the sake of money. That makes me and my partner never want to have children. We do not like what is expected of them by our culture and in our country.
45. "I Don't Understand Them, And I Dislike Them."
[rebelmouse-image 18355087 is_animated_gif=I used to dance around how much I dislike kids, because it gets people defensive, but now I just say it.
I don't understand them, and I dislike them. Now, that isn't to say I'm going to be rude or anything. I try to be nice, and polite, because as a society teaching kids to be nice is part of everybody's responsibility (IMO).
But like... I just don't like them. And apparently that makes me bad?
I once said that kids confuse and frustrate me, and that I didn't want any, and somebody said, "Oh thank God, I was just going to tell you you'd make a horrible mother. You always talk about being worried you'll hurt them. But you're too angry to be a mom."
Yeah! They run around at foot- to knee-height! I sometimes accidentally nudge my cat if she darts in front of me when I'm walking. Like hell I'm not going to be safe around zooming tiny humans who'll cry at a slight provocation (like I used to)!
I don't want kids because one, I don't want them.
Two, they're loud and they cry and I don't know how to calm them down.
Three, I don't want them.
Four, I do get angry quickly. I don't handle stress well.
I refuse to put I child I'm "supposed" to have at risk of being emotionally damaged because of my faults.
44. Love Cats, Not Kids
[rebelmouse-image 18355088 is_animated_gif=My mom has made pregnancy absolutely revolting for me. Chafing and stretching, tearing and nonconsensual sewing and tucking... a doctor gave her a tummy tuck while sewing up the C-section to keep her "pretty for hubby," because general consent was considered implied during surgery in the Air Force in the 80's and this happened on a USAF base in Korea.
The plan me and the man have is to start investing in units to rent out and using the income there to work on fostering kittens and cats for homes so they don't get killed.
We love cats. We don't love kids.
43. When Parents Are Strangers
[rebelmouse-image 18355089 is_animated_gif=It just slowly happened. However I can pinpoint the final nail in the coffin.
My brother is a sociopath. When he finally went to prison, my parents suddenly went from thinking they had 6 more years of a kid in their house to being empty-nesters. After around 30 years of marriage, they realized they were complete strangers. They didn't know if they had anything in common anymore.
I didn't want kids at that point, but the idea of being with the person I want to spend my life with and someday realizing the only thing we have in common is our kids was a terrifying idea.
I'm in my 30's now. I got sterilized a few years ago and have never had any regrets!
(For anyone interested, they're celebrating their 40th anniversary this year and are still deliriously in love!)
42. Barely Talked About Anything But The Kid
[rebelmouse-image 18355090 is_animated_gif=My now-wife and I had discussed kids and were strongly leaning towards no for a variety of reasons, but weren't 100% on board with the idea yet.
We then visited my brother as part of a vacation, spending a weekend with my brother, his wife, and their 3 year old son. I had been looking forward to this as they live several states away and I hadn't been able to spend time with my brother for ages.
I was hoping to hang out with him, have conversations, crack jokes, maybe even try some local beers. Instead the entire weekend was spent with my nephew. I barely got to talk to my brother about anything that wasn't nephew-related, the kid needed constant care and attention from everyone (myself and my fiancee included), etc,. As young children do.
So we went home having not gotten to spend any of the time I wanted with my brother. It was a stark lesson in just how much children change your life. We both were completely convinced that we did not want kids at all after that trip.
41. Wrong To Me
[rebelmouse-image 18355091 is_animated_gif=I have a genetic disorder that is a dominant gene, so any child I would have has a 50/50 chance to also have the disorder. There is also no genetic test for my sub-type of syndrome. So super not into the idea of risking it. And yes, I do judge people who have children with my syndrome because we know these odds and we know there is no test.
We all know how painful this is and to subject another life to this just because you want a mini-me is just plain wrong to me.
40. Useless Leeches
[rebelmouse-image 18345802 is_animated_gif=Half of my friends are just useless people that leech off their parents hard earned money. I realized the chances of me ending up with a kid like that is just too high, and its not worth the time/effort/money to feel obligated to love someone because they are related to you.
39. It's Forever.
[rebelmouse-image 18355092 is_animated_gif=Just the realization that it isn't something you can just let go of. It's not a job you can quit, a relationship you can end, etc. It's forever. That's something I never lose sight of. Especially when it does seem like a cool idea during that cute phase where the kids are between ages 2 and 10. But after that, you're just dealing with and responsible for this random person who never had to exist in the first place.
38. Mommy Monster
[rebelmouse-image 18355093 is_animated_gif=I was 12 or 13, riding in the car with my siblings and parents. My mom was being a horrible, as per usual, and she turned around and snapped:
**"I can't WAIT until YOU have kids, so you can see how awful it is!" **
I realized that if I had kids, there was the potential to also be a terrible mother, given that I bore certain unfortunate behavioral similarities to her. Like, that could be me one day sitting in the front seat yelling that to my own kids. And that was when I noped out - I didn't want to be her.
Thanks to that awareness, I've spent most of my life in therapy and counselling fighting the personality disorders I've inherited. I've come a long way and burned a lot of bridges, and it will definitely be a life-long process for me, but it's been worth it to get a semblance of control over the issues.
37. The Breakup
[rebelmouse-image 18355094 is_animated_gif=I'm planning on breaking up with my boyfriend tonight for this very reason. There's a fairly significant age difference between us and he wants kids. I realized I can't think of a single beneficial thing a child will do for me, he says he can wait till I'm older and ready but then I just feel like it's an inevitability and he's still not listening. I do not want them. Not I want them later. I. Do. Not. Want. Them.
I don't want to ruin my body. I don't want to ruin my bank account, I live in one of the most expensive cities in the world, how on earth would we pay for a kid? I want to focus on my career. I want to earn money and travel the world one day. Not spend the rest of my life raising a parasite.
36. Tone Change
[rebelmouse-image 18355095 is_animated_gif=There was no one moment, we just never wanted any. I'm almost 40 now, and have noticed that the tone has shifted from smug people thinking that I'll change my mind, to pity from people who didn't realize that it was intentional.
Now, I just get a kick out of making people uncomfortable when I say that my husband and I "were never blessed with children."
People get squirmy, some tell me about their cousin's neighbor's sister that had a 'miracle baby' at age 42, and a slew of other fun ways to play with the social lines of acceptable discussion points
35. Early Retirement
[rebelmouse-image 18355097 is_animated_gif=It's awesome. Childless by choice, we retired really early (40ish) and have been to all 50 states, all 7 continents, 70+ countries and 282 of 417 National Parks. On our own time whenever we want to go.
34. Medical Exclusion
[rebelmouse-image 18355098 is_animated_gif=I'm hypersensitive to sound. Loud and high pitched sounds hurt me. The sound of children crying is physically painful to me, to the point that if I don't have earplugs on me and a kid starts crying, I need to leave the room immediately.
You can't be a parent if you can't handle crying kids.
33. Bad Investment
[rebelmouse-image 18355099 is_animated_gif=The Return On Investment just doesn't seem to be there. We prefer a bank account balance that doesn't give us anxiety. Children are expensive and would prohibit me from doing a lot of things. Visiting long time friends and family who now have kids is a total crap-shoot. You go over there to talk and spend a little time with these people you never get to see, and they spend the entire time wrangling their offspring.
I went over my brothers house one day to help him fix some electrical and got yelled at by his wife to be more quiet because the kid was napping. I mean, howdahf*ck am I supposed to work on your house and not make noise?!
But I digress, I love the kids themselves, especially my Niece and God Daughter. I like to spoil them, spend time with them, and then send them home with their parents. When I explain to people that I don't want kids I typically get asked:
_"Aren't you worried what you'll do when you're older and need someone to take care of you?" _
If the only reason you had kids is to secure your twilight years, that's some selfish bull. What if your kid decides that looking after the old man when he's shitting himself doesn't sound like such a great idea...or what if they are physically or financially unable to do so? We just think that you should have kids because it's something you really want to dedicate your life to and something that your financial situation allows you to do properly. That's not us.
32. Sleep, Privacy, Alone Time
[rebelmouse-image 18348706 is_animated_gif=I don't mind kids, I like to give them back.
They are so time consuming and I'm too selfish to have kids. I like sleep, privacy, alone time. I used to baby sit my friends kid overnight and during the day until the dad came home and then I'd have to stay to put the kid to bed. Doing that for a couple weeks just solidified to me that I'm not cut out for it. My partner understands but as it stands I'm not having kids and I feel like that won't change.
31. Not in the cards....
When I realized it was an option. When I was younger I assumed that's just what you do, grow up, have kids, deal with the kids. It took me some time to notice that it's possible to choose not to have children, at which point I thought that sounded like a great choice for me. sexrockandroll
30. Free Bird....
There was no such moment. I've never even considered having kids. I feel neither the desire nor the necessity of producing offspring. I like being free, unbound. You can't really do whatever you want, with kids in the picture, can you? Kids become a constant. YouTubeIsAJoke
29. Why am I here?
When I was around 7 years old and thought for the first time "I didn't ask to be born." Reddit
That factors into my decision as well. I've lived a life that most people can be envious of, but I just don't think the world is good enough to forcefully bring someone into. I don't want to subject another person to the flaws of humanity. Zerole00
28. Zero Sorries....
I have never wanted them. I'm a 40 year old female and have zero regrets. I like kids, they are cool, just have never wanted my own and have never wavered even for a second. Lindsey-905
Same here at 37. I like kids aged about 5 and up and was even a teacher for a few years, but don't care for babies and actively dislike toddlers, so I'm not sure I could cope with those early years. I can't remember any point in my life at which I wanted to have kids of my own. LogicalBike
27. Counting the Coins....
When I looked at my bank account. GorillaS0up
"You'll make it work." -various parents
Probably the worst financial advice anyone could dispense. I don't think people truly realize just how expensive kids are. summerofsmoke
26. Nintendo First...
I got a nintendo switch and realized I'm no where near done being a kid. mrsplackpack
Kids: $200,000 Switch: $300 I don't know about you but I've made my decision. max_costco
25. Phobias....
When I was like 14, in health class. The teacher was talking about pregnancy, stuff I thought I knew (period stops, you feel great until birth) was turned upside down and I realized holy sh!t, that's terrifying. Especially when he talked about being able to see the baby's fists and sometimes a slight outline of its face on his wife's stomach. I became tokophobic from that moment on. catinthexmastree
24. Break the Cycle...
Quite understandable. Actually, another reason I don't want kids is that my grandmother would get very angry very quickly and not always rationally, and I've inherited that tendency. It doesn't last, and I know I would love my kids to death the rest of the time, but I think it's extremely likely that I would occasionally get frustrated and snap and treat my kids the way my mom and uncle were sometimes treated, which sometimes crossed over the border into child abuse. I don't think it's fair to put kids through that. So I totally understand how you feel. LogicalBike
23. Save the Vagina!
There wasn't a single moment for me. I always knew it was the option I wanted. The earliest moment I can remember clearly is when I was about 3 years old and my mom told me that babies come out of your vagina. I thought that sounded horrible and I didn't want that for me. (Bless my mother for being so honest with me. I'm thankful she didn't keep secrets.)
From then on, the more I discovered about motherhood, the less I wanted it. I was horribly afraid of the idea of pushing a baby out of me. I didn't want to give up my freedom.
I've had dreams of being a popstar, traveling the world, and starting a business, and it would all be much harder with a child. I've no doubt I would make a great mother, but I would be miserable. Just the thought of a fetus growing inside me makes me cringe.
There are selfless reasons too: less environmental impact, fighting overpopulation, and better resource allocation. If I took all the resources I could spend creating a child and gave it to someone who already exists who really needs it, I will have reduced the total suffering in the world. Lil-Miss-Anthropy
22. I'll Pass....
I hate that people act as though you're some kind of sad sack because you don't want kids. It's as though everyone who has children is so happy and illuminated. We all know that's not true. Most parents I see say they love their children and don't regret having them, but they seem so stressed. It's just not a life I want to live. Reddit
Thats the thing I always find amusing, people always say no one is ever unhappy to have a kid, but I think it is more that they don't want to admit it was a mistake. I think I would even have a hard time admitting it to myself. Securitron81624
21. Waffling....
I'm still on the fence, but I know for sure I don't want to have kids of my own. I'm short, fat and socially inept. I don't want my kids to hate their bodies/personalities as much as I hate mine. Plus, pregnancy freaks me out in a way I can't fully explain. The idea of a human just growing inside you makes me squeamish.
Babies in general are gross. I love babies, and I love my friend's babies with all my heart, but they're gross. I had to change a diaper once and thought I was gonna vomit.
So if I ever decide kids are for me, I want to adopt an older kid who at least is capable of cleaning up after themselves. There will still be messes, but of the much more manageable variety.
Plus, older kids are cool. They can tell you all about their day, likes/dislikes, etc. My friend's kiddo is just now mastering her words. Again, I love the little nugget, but I'm psyched for when she'll be able to really talk about herself. The_Late_Gatsby
20. Not a Fail!
There wasn't really one moment, but...when I was in my last year of college I had a condom failure. I took plan B, but that really screwed up my hormones, so first I bled for like 10 days and then my period stopped for 3 months. I was almost hysterically, irrationally convinced I was pregnant anyway. I started looking up late term abortion providers across the globe. I was so ANGRY my body could do this, I just argued with pro-lifers online to let off steam. It was not a mentally healthy situation. Sure I was young, but I wasn't 18, either - yet I realized how viscerally disgusted I was by the idea of pregnancy. A friend of mine got pregnant later that year, just before graduation - she kept it, and was fine with it.
I realized my feelings were very, very different from women who wanted kids - even when I was saying I'd have one "after I was 30" before. I realize that "after I was 30" was basically some random time in the future I never really thought was going to happen.
Around the same time, my grandmother became badly disabled (she was blind already, but more issues arose with age), and we decided to care for her at home. For me, this meant it sort of ended "fun" stuff I did with my mom, like going to the movies, because one of us always had to stay at home or we'd have to pay a nurse. Now I loved my grandma, but I hated every second of freedom taken away.
I decide I never wanted that again. I want to be able to get up at any time, and go anywhere I want. I know I wouldn't, because I'd love my kids as I also loved my grandma, but I'd resent them for it, too. Kay_Elle
19. Natural to who?
I feel this idea so hard. I like having my life be my own. Sure there are things I have to answer for - school and work and maybe at some point a partner - but I'm not in a field where if I need to not be present for a while someone is going to die. With kids that's a big risk, and you're selfish for even wanting time away from them, you terrible himself being, you.
Also I've never met anyone who got that body betrayal thing. "It's what your body is naturally meant to do!" If I had the option I would be an amorphous shambling mist that lives on the edge of the moors and devours the souls of wicked men, does any of that sound like I'm concerned with what I'm "naturally" supposed to do? shiguy
18. The Cons Outweigh!
There wasn't really a moment, I've just never felt any desire whatsoever to have kids. I can't think of a single benefit they would provide to me. I probably wouldn't even love them if I had them. Rpgwaiter
17. What if?
I once dated a man who wants kids and tried to want them for him, but I couldn't help but fear that I would get pregnant, push this thing out after 9 months, hold it in my arms, and feel nothing. How are you supposed to know you'll love it? How is anyone? Lil-Miss-Anthropy
16. IT JUST IS!
There was never "A Moment." I've just never wanted kids. I never felt that maternal instinct, I didn't play with dolls as a kid. I don't feel some biological clock ticking. I never woke up one day going "Nope! No kids for me!" It's just always been a thing. DesperatelyRandom
15. Learned from the Best!
I don't think there was a moment in particular, but it was more of a gradual thing as I saw friends and family members start to have children as well as listening and learning about other people's experiences. tengolacamisanegra
Little sister was born and no I don't hate her people who have had toddlers as siblings will understand. topkek565
14. Is that you?
When I met my sister after she had a kid. She's not the same person I knew (and not necessarily in a good way). She thought that having a kid would make her happy. But at this point in time, she's not. Maybe it 'will' make some people happier, but that a risky gamble on you, your partner, and the child. Especially since, society in the 'west' do not 'invest' in a kid as a life insurance anymore. Salt_is_Enough
13. I'm not suitable!
You are treated as the least important part of giving birth and you are charged an insane amount to do it, everyone judges you for how you raise your kids and everything you do is wrong and you're violently messing them up in every way, your life is no longer your own, I'm way too angry, I can't stand sudden loud noises, and I have too much hereditary stuff growing on my family tree to ever want to risk passing it along. I'm miserable, why would I want to make another person I know is going to be miserable too? shiguywhy
I may adopt one day, if I'm ever in a financial situation where I would be able to take care of that kid in the way they deserve, but a kid of my own making is a possibility I will never entertain. I've felt that way since I was seven years old. shiguywhy
12. Can't take the sick.....
I am extremely phobic of vomit. I know I could never be a good mother if my child was sick because I would be locked away in full-on panic mode.
I also was severely abused, beaten, and tortured as a child, and I have days where PTSD/Anxiety overcome me and I cannot function properly. No child should be subjected to that. I feel guilty my husband is subjected to that.
Also, my husband and I barely make enough to stay afloat. It isn't fair to the child if we don't make enough money to provide for them.
Plus, people are too quick to blame parents for things nowadays. Back when I was a kid, my mom would leave us at home while she worked and we would just wander off into the forest or go play in the creek. Now, parents get charged for things like letting an older sibling babysit or letting your kids wander off to a park by themselves. Booner999
11. I'd rather stay calm....
There's not really a defining moment. I've never wanted them. Ever. I'm 31 and not once in my life have I wanted a kid. Seeing kids in public tends to reinforce my decision.
I'm also selfish, especially with my time. A kid would just piss me off more than anything just because I could never do what I want to do. Keinichn
10. LINEAGE....
When I realized how many people's problems can be traced to childhood traumas. I realized I didn't want that responsibility. Also all my co workers just complain about how their kids kept them up all night and etc. XPTranquility
9. Adulting is a NO!
At 16 - "So I have some nasty genetics that I shouldn't pass on so I'll adopt."
Early 20s - "I kinda like traveling, maybe I'll be on team adopt one and done."
Me now - "How the hell do you adult? My adulting cannot even take care of me let alone a kid." rainfal
8. For the greater good....
As someone with a slew of mental health issues (bipolar, depression, OCD, anorexia, etc.) I realized that, just like there are people who physically cannot have kids for whatever physical complications, there are also people that are mentally unable to have kids, yet they still do because that physically can.
I recognize my mental limitations and simply do not want to be a parent who is mentally incapable of caring for their own child(ren), even if my body allows me to have them. It's not fair to the child, myself, or the rest of the world. SofaKeenGrad
7. 21 & Over....
I'm only 21, but have no intent to have children. I have known I didn't want kids since I was a kid myself. I never played house, never played with baby dolls, etc. I have grown up knowing I was not meant to be a mother. I have pretty intense parental issues with my own parents, and would be terrified I would totally ruin my kids life. There was never a "moment" for me, as it's something I've always known.
PS.) I mean this kindly, but please don't tell me I will "change my mind" about having kids. No, I won't. I'm sick of people telling me I'll DEFINITELY want kids when I'm older and how "heartless" I am for not wanting them in the first place. I do not want kids...I will never want kids. I also DON'T HATE KIDS!!! For some reason people equate not wanting kids to hating them. I like kids, I like being around kids, but being a mother just isn't for me. adcable2018
6. The Crazy Guncle....
When i realized i was gay, not that gay people cant be good parents, but I also think Im much more of a cool uncle then a father, plus i think people like me were born to love the idea of love, ill probably end up as "crazy uncle that owns a nature reserve in Montana." Killgarth
5. To Child or not to Child...
I keep saying it and people keep telling my I'll change my mind. I'm only 22 but I've seen so many examples of parents who do as much as they can to be good parents and their kids still end up crap heads. My step dad's daughters are older than me by a few years and the entitlement factor they both have is like that of a 14 year old; they don't ask for his money, they just take his credit card... And not for stuff like shopping, (although they do that too) but one of them just decided she needed invisalign braces and didn't even ask first... He's such a good guy too; he knows how to discipline but loves the crap out of his kids and it kills me the way they treat him.
I also don't understand why it seems like a requirement of marriage for it to be fulfilled. I want to get married one day but when I get married I don't know why I'd want to give up pretty much all of my free time when, between working, I'll barely have any time to give to the love of my life. Without kids, I'd be able to afford more time off to spend with my wife, I'll be able to afford trips and nice things for her and for myself and I'll be able to take opportunities that, whilst having kids I wouldn't be able to take.
Between the worry of doing my best, and still ending up with a shit kid, and closing a shit load of doors, I don't think kids seem as fulfilling as everyone tells me. If I want my life to be fulfilled, I strongly believe I'd be able to do a better job doing so without children. ItsBaithoven
4. I'm gonna barf....
i was vomited on. I was told it was cute. Im out. I am a sympathetic vomiter, meaning when someone vomits so do i. i would literally be vomiting on my baby for years. plus i have a genetic disorder that is a dominant gene, so any child i have is 50/50 to have it. and yes I do judge people who have children with my syndrome because of these odds and lack of test. We all know how painful it is. and to do that to another life just because you want a mini-me is just wrong to me. ThermohydrometricZap
3. Rule of 3
3 reasons
- I am autistic, and have an extensive family history of the condition. I can't do that to myself, and my potential offspring
- I honestly don't think I'd be a great parent. I get overwhelmed and emotionally withdrawn more easily than your average adult, and if I can't rely on myself to keep it together, why would I force some kid to attempt it?
- I work with kids through a program at my church, and while I enjoy working with kids, I'm adamant that parenting is not for me.
That being said, my four month old niece is my main motivation to look after myself, and to keep it together, and I am absolutely thrilled at the concept of being a loving and fun uncle. frontios1996
2. The Life Suck....
There wasn't one single moment. It was a gradual thing that I became more certain about as time went on. When I was in my 20s, I thought I'd want kids someday because it seemed like the normal thing to do. Then I entered my 30s, and I wanted kids even less. Unless I have a sudden change of heart, I don't think I'll ever want them. I see my friends posting pictures of their kids all the time, and it doesn't affect me like it does some people. It makes me feel sorry for them if anything, because all I see is a drain on time, money, and other resources. catching_signals
1. No Guarantees.....
I don't want to live 18 (or possibly more) years of my life dealing with a human who can potentially grow into an antisocial psychopath just because a bunch of other kids picked on him/her. In the end, I would have to take the blame on how my kid turned out to be. I lived a shitty childhood and wouldn't wish that on another human being.
I wasted enough time in my teens and early 20s. I just managed to pick up on a career again, and I don't want to waste another 20 or so hindering it for another human being. Reddit
I was at my sister's house hanging out with her and her then three year old. My sister got up to go to the bathroom and the kid wanted to come with her. My sister said no, and kid absolutely lost her crap. She was wailing and throwing a fit and banging on the door trying to get in cause she wanted to be with her mom so bad. I need my alone time and if I can't even go to the bathroom for peace and quiet I am never going to be completely happy, and I can't give the kid what they need. amandaalorian
- People Explain Why They Never Want To Have Kids - George Takei ›
- People Explain Which Things From Their Childhood Kids Today Wouldn't Understand - George Takei ›
- People Divulge The One Thing Their Family Will Never Understand About Them - George Takei ›
- People Share The Exact Moment Someone Made Them Think 'That Person's A Psychopath' - George Takei ›
And there are just as many grievances for which we are not at all sorry.
Curious to hear about people's track record of their questionable behavior, Redditor NanoPKx asked:
"What is something bad you have done with no regrets?"
Is it petty theft or flat out stealing? You decide.
The Parting Gift
"'Forgetting' to bring back a company ipad after they forgot about me having it. Actually they never asked for it back so I still have it and use it."
– Koetjeka
Furry Companion
"I stole a barn kitten while delivering packages for FedEx. He kept climbing my legs and getting into the van, sitting under the wheel when I tried to back out (it was a steep driveway, no way to swing the van around). I called the number on the package, looked the name up on facebook, called the local non-emergency to get contact info, all failed."
"So I took him. Now, if you're not from a rural environment, you might not understand that barn cats like that are 'no-man's-cats.' For all the owners know, he got sick or got got by a coyote. And he would have died, because when we got him to the vet he had a nasty upper resp infection and some other nasties."
"Now, one deformed nasal passage and the cutest snore later, we have a bonkers little orange cat with the heaviest penchant for snuggling I've ever seen (his name is Monty btw)."
"Edit: I forgot to pay my Cat Tax: https://imgur.com/a/HIXS4us"
"Edit Part 2: Monty loves the attention. Thank you for loving him as much as we do :3"
"MmmmMMMMRrrrrrrrrrrAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW" -Montgomerey Valentine, 2022
– SonOfSkinDealer
The Dirty Treat
"A housemate of mine kept eating mine and my girlfriends food and even though I asked him to stop the only thing he would ever say is 'I thought it was mine' then keep eating it."
"Well I bought my girlfriend some ice cream she really enjoys and she put the half she didn’t finish back in the freezer. Well when she want to get the rest it was gone and it made me madder than I think it probably should have."
"The very next time I saw him and somehow keeping a straight apologetic face I told him how he accidentally ate our sex ice cream and that bits of it had been on our parts etc. I told him I felt guilty not to tell him and that I had to apologise for him to eat such a thing."
"I will never forget the face he made when I told him. A face of pure self disgust and shock to which all he had to say was 'I wish you never told me that' and proceeded to move out around a month later."
"Although he didn’t actually eat sex ice cream, like why the f'k would you put it back after use anyway? Sometimes I wonder if I went to far but in that moment I just did not care at all. He still doesn’t know it isn’t true and I’ll probably never see him again."
"F'k you Vitas buy your own food."
– SpicyDolphin74
Vengeance is sweet.
Payback Time
"A drunk driver hit my parked car, left a huge dent in the front driver’s side door, and then drove away. I happened to be looking out the window at the time and saw the whole thing, including his plate number. Cops got there not long after and took my statement. After a couple days and a couple phone calls, I found out nothing was going to come of it because he was the son of the sheriff the next county over."
"Fast forward a couple months, I see his car parked behind a local bar within walking distance of my apartment. I got out my hunting knife and sliced all four of his tires, and made a couple trips around it destroying the paint job. Yellow Pontiac Sunfire, and I still remember the goddamn plate number even after almost 20 years."
– IgnoreMe304
For The People
"I was a GM for a retailer that was going out of business. During the liquidation I let my employees that worked until the end store product they wanted to buy in a closet I claimed I didn't have a key to. Oh the final days I sold them all the items they requested for 95% off. 70" tvs, ipads, gaming laptops whatever they requested."
– Midnights606
Surreptitious Swap
"Years ago I worked for a wealthy dude who was married to someone semi-famous. He would waltz in every morning and talk about the fantastic dinner he had the night before, how he hung out with some other famous person or whatever else."
"He paid me peanuts. I had a hard time making ends meet."
"I was the office assistant and IT guy. So it comes time to get a new computer for one of the designers. I spec something out, and show it to him. It was a ripper of a machine for the time (early 2000s). But it wasn’t expensive enough for bossman."
"So I added a really high end graphics card. Boss was happy then. The card added nothing for the designer: they only did illustrator and photoshop."
"So I came in that weekend and swapped the graphics card for my aging one from home."
"No one ever knew. Or cared. And I got a new graphics card."
– Dudeinairport
When times are tough, people had to do what it took to survive.
T.P. Crisis
"In college I was so poor I would steal toilet paper from the supply closet in our major building."
– Business_Loquat5658
Hungry College Buddy
"I stood watch for a college friend who was going hungry because he’d been disowned and his roommates had made living with him intolerable after he came out."
"I was loosely affiliated with an off campus program with local churches that gave free student dinners on Thursdays. We would go to church to eat, then bring dishes into the kitchen."
"Anyway, he would go in there and steal stuff like peanut butter, literal bread (not an allegory), granola bars etc. while I watched out for the pastor."
"Eventually we both got caught, the pastor for the college students got a bit mad because he was responsible for us while we were there to eat. And I think it was offensive on some level to steal from church. But then he saw what my friend was taking, and asked him if he had enough to eat. My friend shamefacedly said no, not usually."
“'Okay, fine. Put the food back, and come with me.' Took my friend grocery shopping instead, got him connected with the food pantry and community garden at church instead."
– SchnarchendeSchwein
Based on these examples, people didn't twice about their actions in the heat of the moment.
Within reason, we all gotta somehow get by.
But do you think their actions deserve punishment?
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
When a person sees someone they care about going through a struggle or crisis, their instinct is to uplift them with positive advice.
But sometimes, the wisdom imparted by friends isn't always helpful or relevant to the situation.
Curious to hear from strangers online who could do without specific knowledge, Redditor Saibotnl1 asked:
"What life advice can just f'k off?"

These Redditors have a problem with how certain people have on outlook on life.
Time To Rest
"Sleep when you’re dead."
"Cool, but you’re going to be dead a lot sooner."
– Tag2graff
Irrelevant Sadness
"People have it so much worse than you so don’t be sad!"
– notrachelmar
"To that I like to say, 'people have it so much better than you so don't be happy!'"
– ___jupiter____
Your Life Path
"Almost anything relating to what age you must be in order to buy a house, have children, marry, have a profession, or do anything else. Seriously, everyone's life is different from everyone else's. Make your life the way you want it to be. If you so desire. Up to you."
– Frn071
On The Contrary
“Cheaters never prosper”
"Yes, they f'king do."
– waqasnaseem07
People can get out of any situation they find displeasing.
But others feel people should just "stick it out."
Ignoring Bullies
"Just ignore bullys or get someone else to handle it for you. I have never seen this work, only makes it worse. The only effective way I've seen to deal with them is by not making yourself an easy target and make them scared to f'k with you again. If going psycho on their a** is the only thing they'll respond to that's their fault. Also want to add in schools they will punish you for self defense but that punishment is only sitting around a few hours in detention or sitting around at home with a suspension. The punishment is temporary boredom, it's absolutely nothing compared to being bullied and when it's over the important message will still stand that you will not tolerate being a victim."
– User Delted
Remain to be Miserable
"Stick it out"
"Whether that's sh**ty jobs, shi**y relationships, shi**y living situations..."
"By all means don't just give up on things when you face challenges, but if something feels wrong or is wrecking your peace then take some control and change it if you can!"
– petitezoey
"Easy for you to say," might be an auto-response to these suggestions for many people.
Invitation For Recklesslessness
"Live like everyday was your last"
Yall know what people do when they learn they have a single day left to live?"
– LimeGrass619
A Possible Consequence
"I did that as a teenager and ended up homeless and addicted to heroin. Didn’t pan out for me too well."
"19 years sober though today."
– Open-Section-7263
A Practical Approach
"If I knew with certainty that I had one day left, I'd double-check all my financials, my will, and my insurance policies, make sure my wife had all of my passwords and knew where all the money was, spend the rest of the day with her and the kids, then call the medical examiner and ask to lie down on the gurney so that when I die they won't strain their back moving my remains out of my house."
– Asteriad
Nose Stuck In A Book
"Work while they sleep. Study while they party"
"That's not a recipe for success, that's a recipe for a lot of white hairs, burnout syndrome and a stroke before your 40s..."
– Khomuna
Doesn't Apply To Everyone
"Do what you love and money will follow"
"I love walking my dogs and grilling food for my friends but That sh*t doesn't pay the bills as well as my engineering degree!"
– Elons_android
While people's intentions are good, they're better off keeping their two cents in their own pockets.
Not everyone likes to hear platitudes.
Sometimes, people just want to know they're not alone with their problems over listening to unlikely solutions that are nothing more than superficial pick-me-ups.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Kids start going to school from the age of five, and for the most part, they spend more time at school than at home. Because of that, teachers can become very important figures in the lives of their students.
Some students don't have the best home lives. Some keep it to themselves, but others confide in their teachers.
Curious about various situations, Redditor Delicious_Mastodon83 asked:
"teachers of reddit what is the saddest thing you found out about a student?"
In Need of Parents
"Not a teacher but was a school-based therapist. Had a student (7 -8 y/o) I didn’t know knock on my office door and ask if I’d adopt her and “if you have room, my brother too, but if not, that’s ok, we can be split up. We’re split up now. And I don’t take up space. I just need a sleeping bag”. Broke my heart."
– secretkpr
Heartbreaking, But Industrious
"My mom taught at a school in a bad neighborhood in Chicago in the mid 90’s. There was a second grader that would save his milk and ketchup packers from lunch for his mom so she had something to eat when she got home from work."
– PowerstrokeMe
Big-Hearted Mom
"Not a teacher but a parent with a 9 year old son. Every day I pack extra in my sons lunch because he tells me he has a friend that never has anything to eat. It's winter and my son came home and told me his friend was turning up with shorts and shirt and holes in his shoes. So I sent in a jumper and long pants for him to wear and some slightly used but good condition shoes. I have been up to the school recently and the teacher pulled me aside and thanked me profusely for helping this child. Apparently teachers are not allowed to aid kids they teach here in Australia and they have already reported the issue 3 times to child welfare without results so I was the only one helping this child. The teacher told me before I started sending in more food and clothes, this child would steal others food from their lunches and look through the bins because he was so hungry. They doubt he gets fed at home. So now I make sure to always send an extra lunch and some school clothes/supplies when I can. I can only hope child welfare eventually does something but it breaks my heart."
– spetzie55
Amazing Big Sister
"It was right after winter break and before class started I was just talking with some students and asked if they got anything fun for the holidays. One girl said on no, I don’t ever get presents, my mom is a drug addict. But I went out and got some stuff for my little sister so that she can have a real Christmas."
"She just said it so matter-of-fact. She was so used to being the parent to her little sister that she didn’t even care about her own childhood. It totally broke my heart."
– tonydanzascaulk
The Importance Of Human Affection
"Second hand story from my mom, elementary teacher for 30ish years. She had a hug or a handshake out the door policy, just some small contact and a proper goodbye, and had this young boy who always picked the hug. She wondered why he always went for it, most kids would go back and forth depending on their mood that day, so she asked him why he was always so excited for the end of day hug? His answer, "It's the only one I ever get.""
– needsawholecroissant
Coming Out The Other Side
"Two teenage boys (16/14) with learning disabilities were on my caseload, they never missed school but often ditched class. They were homeless mid-year after they went home from school to find the locks changed, their Mom had abandoned them for a new boyfriend. She didn't leave an address for them to find her."
"*Edit: both eventually dropped out, however a couple of years later the younger brother came back to visit. He and his brother were both working construction, and his brother had gotten married, had a child, and was living with his wife’s family."
"The younger had roommates and was saving for a car. He told me it was a shame I didn’t have kids, because I would make a good Dad."
"People often persevere, even with the odds stacked against them."
– Kursch50
True Parentification
"Not me but my daughter is a teacher, she has lots of stories but one that stands out for me is one of her kindergarten kids saying she was tired and her asking why, the little girl explained that she had been up all night with her mums newborn baby. She did this every night, fed her bottles and everything."
– lb47513343
Luckily, He Was Resilient
"This year I had a 17 year old kid enroll at my school. He was sitting in my math class and I could tell he was struggling. After class I took some extra time to go over a concept with him. I asked him to read the question to me, and he sat there silently. He then looked at me and said “I’m not going to lie to you, I cannot read. I have no idea how to say these words""
"Turned out at age 17 he was illiterate and had been kept out of school by his very religious, controlling parents. Over the past few months he has worked very hard! Now he can finally read at an 8th grade level and he is STILL improving!!"
– User Deleted
A Heroic Teacher
"I worked in an inner city charter school. One of my students (`M10) had a sib (M8) in a lower grade. The mom was there every day in the beginning of the year encouraging them, helping them and generally being very supportive... until a CPS agent spoke to me asking about her behavior. After CPS left things went downhill. The boys showed up late to class even though they lived a half block away from school. When in school both boys were tired from sleeping in the car while their mom "went fishing". She also had two very young girls which she dragged around making the boys take care of them. One day the boys didn't show up and their teacher walked over to the house to find the mom had loaded up the fridge, paid the rent for the month and abandoned them. The teacher (a candidate for sainthood btw) took them in, adopted them and grew them up to be great men."
– mopedarmy
This is really heartbreaking stuff! Luckily, teachers aren't just another adult in your life; they can be your saving grace as well.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
TRIGGER WARNING: This article contains sensitive content about depression and mental health.
As the stigma around mental health lessens (however slowly), people are more forthcoming about the problems they are facing. One of the most common mental health issues is depression.
Depression can affect many different types of people. Factors such as gender, race, nationality, and even age have no bearing on whether someone suffers from depression or not.
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), globally, "...an estimated 3.8% of the population affected, including 5.0% among adults and 5.7% among adults older than 60 years..."
Depression displays in certain patterns, such as mood changes, physical difficulties, and social isolation. However, depression manifests differently in different people and feels different to different people.
Reddit users divulged what depression felt like to them when Redditor iodineseaspray asked:
"What does depression feel like to you?"
Some of this is sure to sound familiar.
The Worst Kind Of Boredom
"Like being more bored than you could imagine but also not wanting to do anything at all, even breathe. So you want to do something, but you can't imagine anything that you would like to do so you're just sort of stuck."
– BuddhistSlater
"So you then spend literally hours staring at a blank wall hating yourself, your life, and everything around you. Well, as much hate as you can summon in the absolutely mentally numb state you find yourself sat in day after day."
– merryman1
Lack Of Motivation and Energy
"Complete lack of motivation."
"Ignoring people that I love, and who are trying to help."
"Just sh*t"
– HatFromStraw
"I feel it extra at work. Letting things slide until you either get into trouble or trying last minute to prevent it."
"Funny those times when I'm working to save my butt, the depression goes away and i feel super focused and motivated."
"I try to carry that energy over but no, it's rinse and repeat."
– ExtraBitterSpecial
Powerful Insecurity
"Insecure about absolutely everything, no hope for the future, dissociation from society and not knowing how to “act” anymore, feeling like I’m not as good at the things I always thought I was good at or that the “talent is wasted on me”, only food cheers me up and sometimes even that doesn’t work"
– tenamonth
Loss Of Creativity
"This. It's like some numb fuzziness you feel in your brain. It's the worst thing ever for an artist who just wants to create but your brain comes up dry with a dense fog that wants to just lie down for a few hours"
– FinnProtoyeen
A Mental Inability To Breathe
"For me, it feels like I’m in a lake with a ball chain tied to my feet, desperately swimming up for air, the only problem is the chain isn’t long enough. I can only get an inch of my head out of the water to breath, and as soon as a high tide comes, the water just floods over me and I feel like I can’t breath again. I live like this, constantly feeling like I’m struggling to breathe, weighed down by my own mind. It’s a struggle and I can’t really describe it in any other way, I’m jealous of people who don’t worry about depression"
– DrowningInBrokeness
"Like suffocating under a heavy cloak"
– kmartfreak
"Like being crushed. Like if the air was crushing my muscles and bones and I can’t breathe because I’m being crushed…"
"Kinda like that."
– Afreshnewsketckbook
Listlessness
"Scrolling thru your steam library. Thinking you want to play something, either not settling on anything or not wanting to put the effort into the game. Going back to the scrolling."
– Aistadar
"It feels like you're forced to play a game of Monopoly (represents life) and your just rolling the dice to appease everyone but you genuinely don't care about where you go, where you land, what you pick up, what you pay, what you gain."
"You kind of just watch it happen without interest and while people are cheering or oh no-ing for you, you genuinely don't care. Everyone is a piece on this board that hardly matters and you feel like we're all just running in a circle over and over again and it's boring and disinteresting as hell."
"You lose all curiosity for everything and just let everything happen and pass by you. No motivation, hardly any love, hardly any care. Feels like the world is in black and white and your waiting for the game to end became it's so absolutely boring and disinteresting, but it never does."
"You come to resent the game and eventually hate it because it feels like you're being forced to play it and suffer it's consequences when you never asked to play it in the first place."
"That's what depression felt like for me. Since then I've been medicated and recieved therapy. I'm doing a lot better now and I don't feel this way anymore, thankfully."
- KnlghtLlghts
A Relation To Fantasy
"You know that scene in the Lord of the Rings where Bilbo is describing to Galndalf what having the Ring all those years felt like? "I feel thin. Like too much jam spread over too much bread." That's honestly the best way I've seen to describe it."
– Electrical_Age_336
"I always say the closest thing to compare it to is a dementor in harry potter. It sucks every ounce of happiness out of you until there is only darkness left."
"Side note: chocolate always helps"
– sunfacer
Fear Of Lack Of Justification
"Like someone close to you died yesterday. Expect no one has, and nothing has happened to justify how you feel."
– AlterEdward
A Physical Pain
"Physical pain in my heart, will start crying just by attending to the physical sensation in my body."
– sagieday
Help Yourself
"I've always described it as having a shadow fixed to your brain which fuels things like indecision and negativity. You can do things to temporarily help but you can't truly shift it. Previous normality is forgotten. But it's amazing how much you can mask it."
"I found I didn't realise how bad I was until I started to get better"
"For anyone suffering with depression. Please, please speak to someone. Best thing I ever did"
– DavosLostFingers
Depression isn't something you can just deal with or get over. Learning to cope is not easy. However, as Redditor DavosLostFingers pointed out, talking to someone can literally save your life.
If you or anyone you know is struggling with depression, contact the American Psychological Association by phone at 800.374.2721 or 202.336.5500.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.