We all have bad moments, bad days, bad phases in life. It's been said that everyone is the villain in someone's story - and sometimes we are the villain even in our own.
Being a flaming turd of a human being happens to the best of us. The important thing is that we are able to recognize it when it happens and learn from it - aaaand maybe also share it on Reddit. Let's be real.
Reddit user TheJawsDog asked:
Looking back, what's a situation in your life when you were the a-hole?
Some of these are hilariously innocent (like the vampire incident) and some of these are absolutely deeply and terribly cringeworthy acts of purposeful meanness. Hopefully, though, everyone has been able to move on to being a better person.
Happy Halloween
GiphyA friend brought my group of friends to a bar on Halloween weekend. I was dressed up as a cowboy. I noticed that pretty much everyone else at that bar was dressed as a vampire. I went around and complimented a lot of them on their awesome vampire costumes.
We eventually left and hopped over to another bar. I'm telling my friend i thought it was weird that everyone there had chosen to dress as a vampire. He tells me that we were actually at a goth bar, and none of them were wearing costumes.
Hated It
Moved to live closer to my best friend and work with her. Ended up hating the town, taking it out on her, spending all my energy complaining about how I'd ruined my life and not gave any thought to her feelings. I moved away and we've kinda repaired things but it definitely left an impact and I was 100% in the wrong.
Because of Religion
I was adopted by lovely and caring parents, but throughout my entire childhood and teenage years I wanted nothing but distance from them for the sole reason that they were religious.
They weren't even the fanatic types. They were incredibly tolerant and respectful towards just about anything and anyone. They had the belief that they not only couldn't judge anyone, but also would be punished if they did.
When I was 11 I told them I didn't want to go to church anymore and then accepted it. I mean, I was 11 and they already respected my decision.
That just made it all the much harder for us to connect at any level. 90% of everything they did was to talk about Jesus and whatnot. In hindsight, I used to be kind of a prick about it, while they were always perfectly calm and friendly, even when I downright offended them.
I lost both of them in a car accident when I was 18.
Now I see that whether someone is religious or not, old or not, male or female or neither, black or white, from your country or a foreigner, being jerk is just that, being a jerk, where you come from and your general philosophy of life can't really do much to make it better or worse.
No matter how right you think you are, don't be a jerk!
The Paper Towel Compulsion
I think about this pretty often honestly. I had to be about 7 or 8. I'm in the mall with my mom and sister and it is just about closing time. On our way out of a department store we stop at the bathroom before the ride home. My mom sends me into the men's room on my own. Nobody in the bathroom. For some reason my stupid little brain thinks "I'm gonna poop on a bunch of paper towels and slap it against the mirror....".
I try to think back to why I would ever have this compulsion and I got nothin'. Having since worked many service jobs over the years I am profoundly sorry to that custodian.
To Look Cool
When my best friend was bullied I sometimes joined along, wanting to look cool in front of the "cool kids."
- Derolyon
I remember feeling so betrayed when my best friend turned on me in second grade so she could be cool. I went to gifted school part time so I was bullied heavily at regular school. I also had an abusive dad so I cried a lot when they bullied so that didn't help. One day she just joined in and soon after told me she's not my friend anymore. She was the first betrayal in a long line of "best" friends being a-holes to me. That leaves a mark.
I have been on the receiving end of this and man does it suck. My first "boyfriend" threw me in some bushes in front of his friends and called me "vaca muy gorda" - which translates to "very fat cow" I guess.
I am a big girl so it stung. He thought it was so funny. After I dumped him, I went on to have body issues some 20+ years later and refused to date guys who said they liked me because I was sure they were going to do something similar.
"Nice Guy"
I used to pull that nice guy bull. Ask a girl out, get rejected, desperately plead my case about how nice I was even though trying to guilt trip your way into a date is not a nice thing to do at all, then get frustrated when she avoided me and unfriended me on Facebook. Pretty embarrassing to look back on, but if you can't look back and realize you were a total a-hole sometimes, you're probably still one.
Sprinkled Quarters
GiphyWhen I was a teen I went to a restaurant with several of my friends. We had been at an arcade earlier so I had a pocket full of quarters. My tip that night was quarters sprinkled in glasses, in food, and on plates. Thought it would be funny, but I look back on it now and it wasn't. It's something for which I'm deeply ashamed and it fills me with regret every time I think of it. Now I am extremely nice to the wait staff.
The Christmas Losers
Setting up for a huge artisan trade show that involved a massive vetting process (It was very difficult to be selected) - we had a day to set up, and as we're all working our butts off trying to make the BEST display of our goods, one booth across from us remained a total ghost town, to the horror and shock of the rest of us 'hard working' artisans.
Fast forward to the opening day of 10 days of this massive Christmas artisan show (as in HUGE!!) and the empty booth owners show up, set up a basic Costco table and dump cardboard boxes around - we're all rolling our eyes and snickering at this point, I mean...come on??? What LOSERS???
Yeah...those 'losers' were selling authentic Peruvian sweaters and hats - sold out in 3 days, packed up their Costco table, humbly leaving with WAY more than we could ever hope to make. Meanwhile, the rest of us schmucks had to kiss butt and keep our pathetic grins on for another 7 days.
I will forever look back on that experience as a lesson of making assumptions and being a total ass. Which I was.
Sorry Omar
Definitely the time my friends and I bullied the new kid on the block. Nothing physical, but we made fun of him and excluded him for not having a scooter. Then one day he showed up with a new scooter and we bullied him for having a cheapo one.
Years later it became apparent that his family wasn't as well off as ours. None of us realized we were picking on the poor kid, and when the family bought him the trendy toy, it just wasn't good enough for us. We were mean to him and I feel awful about it. Sorry, Omar.
- Rezzone
An Alien
Back in 7th grade, this really shy girl used to have a HUGE crush on me. Her friends told me she would leave PE early to go to the changing room in order to look pretty for the next class that were both in. Then, her friends kept asking for me to talk to her and ask her out but I refused because to me, "she looked like an alien". Unfortunately, her friends told her and she was devastated. I was honestly just stating why I didn't want to "date" her but I realized how mean and terrible my comments were. I apologized to her for being an insensitive jerk and she forgave me. We managed to become friends in 8th grade and all throughout high school. I still feel bad about whenever I think of her.
The World's Cringiest Breakup
My first boyfriend and I started dating in high school. We were absolutely inseparable as we'd been best friends for years before we started dating. We were there for each other through the death of a parent and a sibling, and so many firsts. We were going to live in the same dorm in college the next year. A pair, for sure.
Our senior year I decided I wanted to go to prom with some random guy that I'd developed a crush on during our senior trip. Because we'd been friends so long, I decided that instead of breaking up with him (which felt cold-hearted) I'd soften the blow by just being incredibly mean to him. This way he wouldn't be as upset when I finally told him.
I was HORRIBLE to him for DAYS - just didn't let up. Everything he did was wrong. Nothing was funny. His new haircut was ugly. Why was he so stupid? I finally said something that broke him while we were watching a movie one night and he asked why I was being so awful. I decided that then was the best time to tell him that I was breaking up with him, specifically because I wanted to go to prom with someone else, who I barely knew. He started sobbing, which teenage brain could NOT understand. I kept asking why he was so upset, but he wouldn't tell me.
It turns out that after years of friendship, I'd blindsided him with the world's cringiest breakup, on his birthday, which I'd completely forgotten. 20 years later I still wake up in the middle of the night feeling guilty about it.
The Dead Dad
When I was in elementary school there was this kid who lost his father to cancer during the school year. One day after he came back to school (can't remember how long after) we got into some sort of dispute on the playground. I don't remember exactly how it came to me saying "at least my dad isn't dead" but that's exactly what came out of my mouth. I spent the day in the principals office. To this day this is one of the biggest regrets of my life and I'm 23. I still feel terrible about it because I never got to apologize to the kid because we moved away shortly after. I don't even remember his name but I'll never forget saying that.
Project Manager
Many years ago I was just starting out on a new position as a project manager. Things weren't going smoothly on this project, not really in anyone's control but it added stress to myself and my team.
One day one of my teammates made a minor and fixable error, but I still screamed at them in front of about 10 people (all employees). Like a good 2 min tirade about what a mistake they were. They were a summer student, making minimum wage and I just laid into them. The worst part is they made the mistake because *I* labeled something incorrectly. It was really *my* mistake.
10 years later I still manage small to medium teams and I think about that moment a lot. It reminds me to keep my cool in stressful situations and you can provide discipline without being an a-hole. Also, owning up to your own mistakes as a leader I feel actually helps the team grow long term and establishes trust with your employees.
The GIF
GiphyMy BFF and I have a GIF we send on the first day of our periods, the one from The Shining with the elevator doors opening and the blood everywhere. After her first miscarriage I spaced and sent that to her and have hated myself ever since. Pretty sure she doesn't remember, but I'll never forget.
Tommy
Was hammered at a bar; the bar server was called Tommy - I was making him say "Tommy want wingy" whilst waving cash in his face (it was his tip.)
Sober me realized I looked like a huge ass that would have only tipped if he said what I wanted.
- pyth0ns
I'm No Help
It wasn't quite long ago, maybe early last month. I was coming back from a friend's place and I saw a girl who I knew was staying close to my place but we actually don't talk. She was carrying a ton of luggage in both hands including a cooking gas (it looked like she was just coming back to school after the semester break) and she was sweating like crazy. She looked like she needed all the help she could get.
We actually locked eyes and I think she was expecting me to help her, but I didn't. To make matters worse I actually walked almost side by side with her without saying a word to her or even helping her with stuff. I just let her struggle with everything while I walked next to her empty-handed.
SO I THINK I AM THE A-HOLE
R.I.P. Mom
My mom was really sick for a few years and it was just part of my life and something I was used to. I was sitting in her room while she napped, browsing the internet on our laptop and talking with friends on AOL. I spent 45+ minutes whining and complaining about how weird the sounds she was making while she slept were and how I hated her snoring and just a lot of really awful things to say about your mom (I was 14).
I stood up to go get water and glanced at her and saw she was laying in a puddle of vomit in bed. The sounds I was hearing was the oxygen tubes blowing bubbles into her vomit. The snoring was air from the oxygen machine pushing out. At some point in the time I was sitting there in her room complaining about her, she'd died in her sleep. No idea how long.
She obviously never knew about my sh*tty attitude, but I felt awful for ages. I still look back on that time and think about what a little prick I was to her and my step dad.
Mean Guys
When I was in school, my friend group consisted of 3 guys and me. None of our conversations were about anything other than basically roasting other people. We'd even go over and talk to "weird" people and act completely normal and nice to them but then when we were alone we would just go over the "session" and take the piss out of the person.
It did make me a bit uncomfortable, but I just went along with it. Looking back I really was the equivalent of one of those popular mean girls in American high school movies.
- hoejoexo
"Constructive Criticism"
When I was a kid I would always have "constructive criticism" for my mum about her cooking.
"This would be better like this."
"Something doesn't taste right."
But once I moved out I realized that cooking for myself is quite a lot of effort and I usually just put something in the microwave or in the oven. She would put in a couple hours of effort EVERY DAY only for me to complain about it.
The Glass
I dropped a glass in my back garden and didn't bother cleaning it up. My dog was running outside and stepped on the broken glass. We had to take her to the vet to get it removed. I had never felt like a bigger piece of crap in my life.
Lonely
Harassed a female friend due to being lonely. I texted her to no end and when she didn't reply, my anxiety would trigger and it caused me to text her even more while trying to explain that I wasn't in a good place in that period of time.
Caused the friendship to crumble entirely and I may or may not have left her with some trauma because of me harassing her. I've tried to make amends since I deeply regret the stupid things I did; but I don't think she will end up forgiving me for this and I'm worried if I keep reaching out it'll be just harassing her more.
Chuck E. Cheese
GiphyWhen I was like 12 I was at chuck e. cheese and I did the ultimate assh*le move. I took tickets from a machine that someone had won, and the little girl came back and caught me. I said something mean to her (I can't remember, but it was really bad) and took the tickets and took off.
She bought her grandma with her to see what she won. If I could go back, I'd slap the hell out of younger me and give them back. If she's somehow reading this, I want to apologize for my behavior. 76 tickets from the monkey climbing game that's near impossible to win. You know who you are, and now you know who I am.
I apologize.
- Sthepuma
Phobic Irony
When I was a part of GamerGate, and heavily transphobic.
Ironic, because I'm now both heavily into social justice and also trans.
- Andreus
WTF Was Wrong With Me?
I was in the hospital for a while as a kid. I had some terrible habits like stealing puzzle pieces from the other kid in the hospital room and washing them down the toilet to feel good about myself. Also dissolving toothpaste in their clothes. Some f'd up stuff, I know. Also some animal torture like squashing frogs with boulders and kicking cats around. It felt 'exciting' back then but I always look back with a 'WTF was wrong with me' look on my face.
Grandpa
My grandpa was very sick and was prepping to undergo surgery. My parents told me and my sister that he would be fine soon, but in reality he only had few week left to live. I was too busy playing video games and was very entilted and angry at that time. I had a few of those moments a month, when I was getting so angry that I acted out against my family because of the anger.
I was 16 at that time.
So one day after surgery my sister came into my room with grandpa, which was pretty big achievement since he could barely walk. She playfully said "look who made it heeeeere."
I just got very angry because they interrupted me and shouted: "GET THE F*CK OUT OF HERE!"
It was one of the last times my grandpa was able to move without being carried in someone's arms and one of the last moments when he was still rational.
That thing haunts me and I still regret it 8 years after. It was probably worst thing I have ever done.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.