Life is full of surprises. There are sometimes when it feels like things have come out of left field completely. When you make the discovery that life isn't exactly what you think it was, it can totally change your outlook on the world around you. For kids especially, it can alter the course of your entire life.
Possuliini asked: Adopted people of Reddit. How did you react when you heard that you are adopted?
They definitely have a good attitude about it.
"I was adopted very soon after my birth, I found out when I was 6. My parents sat me down and talked to me about how they tried and could not get pregnant and they got me. They stated if I ever wanted to know anything feel free to ask and they would be 100% open and honest and would even help me contact my birth family. I honestly was like "ok, now back to what we were talking about before" it never changed anything for me.
I have never reached out, my parents who raised me are my parents, it doesn't matter who gave birth to me. We have been through good and bad, they have picked me up and supported me, they have taught me life lessons and been who I go to for problems and advice.
They have been the best thing that has ever happened to me. 99.9% of the time I forget I'm adopted the only time it ever comes up is for family history in med exams.
I did look up my birth family on FB and other social media platforms and I do have a ton of half brothers and sisters I'm talking 6+ range, and this sounds very judgmental and I'm sorry but based off what I've seen my birth mother did the right thing. I would not have the life I have today or the opportunities if she would have kept me. I will always thank her for that. Maybe one day we will meet but as it sits now I have no desire."
Sometimes it's a little obvious.
"I was adopted as a baby and I was aware of it from the start. It was never a big deal. It would have been stupid to try to lie about it anyway, given that they're both white and I'm Chinese."
What a relief.
Giphy
"Not me, but my best friend is adopted. He was telling me that when he was like 9 or 10 his parents were trying to subtly bring it up to him by giving him a bunch of kids books about adoption. He interpreted this as his parents saying they were going to put HIM up for adoption.
One night at dinner they were like "Friend, we have something to talk to you about."
So he bursts into tears thinking they were about to say they were putting him up for adoption. But instead, they told him he was, in fact, adopted. He told me he was like immediately relieved and didn't even care because he was so scared of being torn away from his family. All was well and he apparently adjusted to the news really quickly. Funny story with a wholesome end."
You'd think SOMEONE would've told them.
"I found out when I was 23 because I had recently moved into a house of my own and my birth mother found out, went to the house and tried to tell me who she was. I told her she was crazy and to get off of my property. I called my dad about it and told him what happened and he asked if I had told my mom about it and I said no. About 30 minutes later he asked me to come over and showed me the folder with all the documentation. I told them that I was ok with all of it and it actually helped make sense of a lot of the stuff my parents had done over the years and questions I had asked in the past.
One weird thing is that my buddy had gone over to my house while I was at my parents and I walked in and told him to guess what I just found out. He saw the folder in my hand and said, "They finally told you you were adopted?" I had no idea that his entire family had known all of this time and never told me. I found out that my ex also knew about it because she had looked up my medical records when she worked as a nurse at a hospital and saw it. I realized later on that she probably found out about the house because I had apparently added my half brother on Facebook a while back even though I didn't know who he was at the time and he had been keeping tabs on me for years."
Heartwarming.
Giphy
"It's something I've always known. I can't remember a time I didn't know. At the time, it was a pretty bold decision by my parents to tell me because I was adopted in the early 1960's and most people tended to keep it a secret. I guess this was due to the stigma surrounding illegitimate birth or the idea that the biological mother must have been "loose."
Instead, my mother always told me that the woman who gave birth to me cared enough about me to realize that she couldn't look after a baby and ensured that I was brought up in a home where a child was truly wanted. That gave me the confidence to stare down anyone who tried to tease or shame me. My parents always said they would support any decision I made about searching for my biological parents, but I never felt any need."
Kids just get it.
"I was adopted as a baby. I don't remember being told, but I knew from a very young age.
I asked my mum how she told me. Apparently when I was about 4 years old a heavily pregnant family friend came to visit one day. After she left I made some comment to my mum about how fat the friend was.
Mum explained that she wasn't fat but had a baby growing in her tummy. I asked if I'd grown in mum's tummy. Mum said that I'd grown in someone else's tummy and that made me even more special.
I have a faded memory of thinking how cool that was and telling eeeeeveryone at preschool about it."
Roll again.
Giphy
"I was adopted within a few days of my birth. I've known about it for as long as I can remember, it was never a secret it's just been part of life for me. I've occasionally joked that I took a free re-roll on the parents chart at character creation. It's certainly played a lot into my feeling that family is those who care for you and you care for in return and that blood is ultimately irrelevant."
They're definitely better off.
"The woman who raised me was a very unkind and mean spirited person. When I found out she wasn't my real mother (around the age of eight) I was relieved. I was terrified of being like her."
F**k it.
"I was adopted at near birth, however my parents always told me I was born in the city I grew up in that was their mistake. When I was an adult I needed my birth certificate for something and when I read it I saw that not just the city I was born in was different than what they told me. It was an entirely different state!
I told my brother and we both went to ask our dad what the deal was. My dad started trying to make up some story then he says "Ah f**k it. Kids sit down."
My brother being the smart a** he is blurt out "He is going to tell us we are adopted." My dad's only reply was "Actually yes..."
It was a very surreal moment. Later found out me and my brother are actually half brothers, we also have a half-sister who grew up with our biological mother.
My biological mother was a friend of my aunt's ex husband's sister, who knew my mom (adopted mom) couldn't have kids and my biological mother (I have nothing against her and actually want to meet her) wasn't well off and convince her to give me up for adoption. (As I said I don't blame my biological mom, If her or my sis read this know that I don't harbor any ill will)
I've met my sister, she knew about us but couldn't say anything until we both were adults. Heck, her friend (My adopted aunt's ex-husbands sister's daughter) visited us at times but she was not allowed to tell us. but all in all it's still a bit surreal to find out both me and my brother are adopted but it really didn't change anything other than added to the people I consider family."
Problem child.
Giphy
"I found out after watching the movie problem child at age 8. Dad use to say I was a problem child jokingly and during the movie I asked, as a joke, since I'm a problem child does that mean I was adopted? They said yes.
As far as my reaction, I didn't really have one. This new information was just something that made me more interesting and unique, as I saw it, from most other children my age that we're around me. For a while I would mention it in most every conversation I had after I learned it.
As an adult I don't really even think about. I should add I have met my birth mother and doing so I met a bunch of my half siblings, so the outcome has been I got a larger family."
