Hurt people hurt people. But because you're a hurt person doesn't mean you have to take it out on the rest of us. Sorry, but if you come for me, I'm coming for you. Most bullies will retreat once you let them know.... your wrath is to be feared.
Redditor u/VinceDeezer wanted to hear some stories about taking down the coward that is Goliath by asking.... People of reddit, what was your revenge on a bully?
50. From Enemies To Allies
A "bully" from my class used to tell me that i wasn't her friend, she often told me to sod off, and she told me she didn't like me. So at some point on instagram the people in my class created an instagram messaging group with all the people from that class and the bully was in there too. at some point she told me to shut up, as usual, and i start like freaking out and at some point i tell her "why don't you like me?!" she responded with "who told you that you like me?!" and i said "who told you that i don't?!" and at that point i think i got her thinking. from that moment we became friends. pals. chums, whatever.
49. Life's Own Comeuppance
I went to university and got a beautiful smart amazing partner of now over 3 years, got a sports car, a bachelors degree and I'm two months from having a masters. He has to see my periodic posts of sheer progress and happiness. He is still a fat aggressive jerk with a job at McDonald's and the only girlfriend he's had in the last two years cheated on him regularly until it finally ended because she'd rather be with the person she was cheating on him with.
48. Sexism Is Inherently Dumb
Got accepted to college before he did. It was my dream school too, and his scores were abysmal. He actually had to take it himself since his mom couldn't take the test for him. His dad tried to get him in the other way, but he didn't have enough money for the school to ignore the scores, so he was packed off to a satellite school in the middle of nowhere.
It's no secret he graduated college by the skin of his teeth. And he always claimed he was smarter than me, a stupid female. This stupid female has a masters and a career, he lives at home with mommy and daddy.
47. Immobulus!
I had a guy steal from me, a second time as well as other drama, and I had been made aware he had a warrant out for him so when me and a few friends were driving up the local main street and I saw him I jumped out of the car. Then went to the police station a half block away to say that I just saw so and so, when he came to he went back inside the bar he was out in front of and the police showed up and arrested him
46. Revenge Via Broken Heart
When I was in high school there was this one kid I didn't get along with. Not exactly a bully just bad blood, we would always get into fights and curse each other out. Eventually I got sick of it and I had realized that his current gf was a girl that used to have a a crush on me back in middle school and one day something he said pushed me over the edge so at the end of the school day I talked to his girlfriend about how she used to have a crush on me and asked about how she felt about me now, And well she ended up dumping him for me. Me and him don't fight anymore.
45. Germ Repellant
When my brother was in first grade, he came home from school upset because another kid was messing with him.
When he told my mom, her response was to "give that kid a good licking!"(meaning fight back)
The next day my mom got a call from the principal because my brother took her advice literally and licked this other kids face when he started messing with him again.
Well, I guess it worked cuz the kid left him alone after that.
44. Corporal Defense
This girl (i am also a girl) used to bully me in school, calling me names, made fun of my siblings etc. One say i had enough. Shoved her and pulled her hair in front of her gang of bullies. They never bothered me again after that.
Im not proud of this. It's sad that i had to do that in order to survive school. Snitching would only make the matter worse. This was the norm in my school. Stand up for yourself or be trampled by the bullies. We used to do this between the ages of 10-14. My school was messed up.
43. Whoops! Sorry About Your Face!
Not me but my mom. Thought her years in school she said she always dealt with bullying and that's why I should stick up for myself now.
One day the bullying was too much for her and decided it was enough. My mom and the girl that had been bullying her were both on the school field hockey team. My mom waited and at the perfect moment.
She broke the girls nose and her wrist with her hockey stick in a game.
Unfortunately the bullying continued. But she said she felt better after that.
42. The Anti-Umbridge League
Kid bullied me in summer camp, I organized a network of other kids who also hated him and he was soon punished. I wanted to beat the heck outta that guy but this was probably a better option.
41. Useless Adults
I was on the receiving end on bullying quite a bit. A pair of guys wouldn't stop touching me and I had enough one day. I just about broke the one guy's arm before the worthless teacher finally stepped in. Then, the next year, I ended up stabbing another jerk with a pencil right in the hand when the teacher just kept watching him stealing my stuff. After that I was finally left alone.
40. Fooled Ya
When I was younger I wasn't particularly tough but I sure was good at acting. Some kid in my class that was giving me a hard time threw a couple of soft blows at me, one of them grazed my neck and to show him a lesson I pretended he damaged my oesophagus and lay on the ground gasping for life. He started panicking. I eventually got up and started laughing
39. Bully Vs. Sociopath
I found a dead rat behind the school gym, I proceeded to learn his locker code and placed it in there over a 2 week holiday, the thing stank real bad. When he found it he actually squealed
Two years of constant torment concluded the same day when I said his dog would be next in that locker.
38. Dangerous With Utensils
Not revenge, strictly speaking. More like preventive measure. Guy in my class was messing with me and trying to take stuff from my table. I was trying to get some work done and the constant interruptions were pissing me off. Among the items on my table was a plastic fork (some kid was bringing cake for his birthday). So I told him that if he touched my stuff one more time I would ram that fork into his hand. He touched my stuff one last time.
The fork did not really penetrate his hand because it shattered into dozens of little pieces. But it gave him a good scratch and some minor bleeding.
Months or years later another kid was bringing something for his birthday and I was holding a plastic spoon in my hand. Turning it around and just looking at it. Some kid piped up "Good Lord! Who gave him a spoon!?". People remembered ...
37. Knocked The Music Out
There was this one guy that was pretty much a stereotype of the word bully. He also was just generally a pain in my behind and an all around jerk. One time, I had a really bad migraine and he was standing behind me while we were trying to change classes in middle school. He was singing this really annoying song at full volume, from less than 6 inches from my ear. I asked him nicely to stop and he screamed NO in my ear. I was on my way to math class. Our text book was about 6 inches thick and weighed in about 5 lbs. I also had a big notebook. I whirled around and whacked him in the stomach HARD. He left me alone for the rest of the year..........Ahhhhh silence.
36. Going For The Jugular
My first bully was this kid that always made me cry in elementary school, every day during recess. Last day of elementary I told her she took all her problems out on me because she had no friends, and because she was insecure about her weight. That one I regret because that was too mean even for an 11 year old.
My second was in high school to a girl that had not only been a bad friend to me, but came up with rumors about me obsessing over her and wanting to be her girlfriend. After we had fooled around once before.
After that I found out that at the time we had fooled around she had started dating a good friend of mine again, and I outed her cheating to the friend. I felt really guilty in the end and I felt like I had to tell the friend, it wasn't so much of a revenge thing, but more of a "damn I inadvertently hurt someone else" due to being a horny teenager. The end of high school was really lonely because I was made out to be a lying jerk, but I came out of it with some wonderful friends because the bad times cleared out the bad people in my life. I came out of it with a better understanding of my sexuality as well, so it was worth it.
35. Butt Pins
My bully was my 4 grade teacher (I was the quiet kid) he would belittle me and treat me like I was stupid and an idiot. So I decided to put pins on his chair, best day of my life. 8 years later, I still hate him.
34. Revenge In The Workplace
Not me but my dad:
This one kid bullied my dad when he was little, right now my dad works for a very successful firm as a supervisor. The bully was hired as a programmer, my dad gave him almost impossible tasks, the bully quit and now works for a very small rivaling company
33. Don't Mess, Princess
In school I was picked on a lot. One day, as I was bending over, a kid kicked me and I fell flat on my face, making the whole class laugh. I turned round, picked him up by his ears and banged his head against the wall saying "just leave me the hell alone".
At that moment, the teacher opened the door for us to go in and saw me. He called us both into his office and asked what happened. Gently told me he understood why I'd done that but it wasn't a good idea, and gave the other kid a detention and a letter home. People left me alone for a while after that!
32. Aaaaaand FLIP
Guy was trying to push me around and I tried to do a move out of some movie i saw and judo flipped him. Remembered that it was from a movie and as casually as I could walked away without looking at him.
Felt amazing.
Btw this was like 5th grade, at recess.
31. Getting Served
Some classmates of mine were throwing snowballs at older people in front of the school so I said they had to stop (what if they fell). Then they threw snowballs at me (i liked that because then they wouldn't throw at old people). Later that day I went to the McDonalds with some friends after school and they were there too. So I walked outside, grabbed snow, made a snowball, walked back in and just when he went to take a bite of his fries I threw a snowball in his face.
30. Who Wears Short Shorts
This kid (16/17) at school was awful to me. He would bully me every day without fail, call me names, throw stuff at me pull my clothing, put chewing gum in my hair etc. He would always position himself somewhere behind me on the school bus for optimum throwing/gum hair capability.
One day the planets and the stars aligned and I had somehow got on the bus first and he was in front of me for a change and I just so happened to have a tube of Nair in my bag (for unrelated reasons). Now this kid admittedly had a nice head of hair. I wanted my payback. The amount of sketchy haircuts I had to endure because of this clown was unreal. So like I said...he had a pretty nice head of hair. Until I managed to drip Nair onto the back of his head for a 35 minute bus ride. He came to school the next day with a sketchy haircut. It was glorious. I should probably feel worse about it that I do/did but this guy made my daily life a living hell.
29. Scot Free
Typical every day bully, I was targeted for being friends with a person for being gay and standing up for them. Day to day I just let it go by, but one day he tried to pull me off my chair in math class so I turned around and rammed my pen into his side.
Teacher noticed it and sent me out the room and asked me what happened. I got 0 punishment as they were aware of the problem and he filed it up as an accident. Bully needed 2 stitches and never bothered me or my friend again.
28. Veronica Mars Worthy Revenge
All through 7th and 8th grade, this girl made fun of me for being a "prude." At our 8th grade graduation party, I pushed her into a pool fully clothed with her new phone in her pocket. I was grounded for a month but it was worth it. 10/10 would do again.
27. Hulking Out
There was this guy bullying me for years and one time he got physical. He hit me in the face with his elbow and laughed when I covered my face in pain. He turned his side to me to laugh with the other classmates and that's when I lifted him up, started running to the wall with him, and threw him again it. He looked like a beaten boxer bleeding everywhere in the face and pissed his pants.
26. The End Of The End
My bully in elementary was a year older than me. Let's call him Howard because that's his name and he sucks. Would beat me up on the way home from school regularly. I knew he had really strict parents too. So one day, with a fresh scrape on my arm from him pushing me and a ripped backpack from him tearing it open, I went to his house and talked to his mom detailing all of the times he beat me up, harassed me, or otherwise tormented me over the year. Two weeks later they pulled him out of school and sent him back to Korea to go to some kinda military/disciplinary school. Apparently, he had been in trouble like, a lot. Never heard from him again.
25. Who Got The Real Revenge?
When i was in grade 9 some kid used to bully me. Things like always talking over me in class on purpose, embarrassing me in front of girls, tripping me over etc. One day i snapped after he kept pelting tennis balls at my face from about a meter away in PE. I got so angry i grabbed him by the throat and proceeded to start laying into him and punched his face till his nose broke and started bleeding. At the time i had long hair and i saw there was blood in my hair and i freaked out and ran home. Got expelled.
24. Braids Will Take You DOWN
When I was 7 there was this annoying dude in my class who wouldn't stop following me around at school and annoy me.
One day I had braids and he thought it was funny to pull them. I didn't, so I decided to do what would hurt his pride the most and tackled him to the ground.
He was one of the biggest guys in our class and everyone thought it was hilarious that he was knocked to the ground by a girl. We were in the same class for 5 more years after this and he never did anything else to me.
23. Diverted Threats
He was older, taller, bigger. So I told him that every time he bullied me, I would beat up his little brother. (Not true, btw.). The bullying came to a full and final stop.
22. Baseless Rumors
This guy in college harassed me and made my life miserable for a semester (weird phone calls, vicious rumors, serious bull) until he had the nerve to approach and threaten my mother on campus. Dumb face texted me later telling me if my mom ever talked to him again he would have public safety throw her off school property. Took those texts and the whole story to the president of student affairs. Of course she was appalled and immediately called him in. Turns out he had applied for a prestigious study abroad in Italy. After that his fate was essentially placed in my hands. If I reported that he even looked at me wrong he would lose his study abroad placement, period.
I took great pleasure the rest of the semester watching him turn pale and run whenever I entered a space he was in, although it certainly didn't make up for what was essentially a missed year of socializing, friend-making, and networking. I was still debunking rumors he spread by the time I graduated.
21. Properly Told Off
Had two.
Fourth grade, two boys were jumping over my friend and I. We told them to stop multiple times. They continued. I stood up and made one of the kids fall. Felt so proud of myself.
Eighth grade. Lectured my class on being jerks and was pretty blunt with them. I said what I had been wanting to say for two years at that point. Was a lot of fun, even though (according to my friend) some kids laughed about me. But news got around quick. Lots of kids in my grade knew, and I was proud for that too.
20. Take it All....
Giphy
I had a bully who'd call me Hitler only on the base that I'm Austrian, so asked out the girl he liked (she said yes) and became best friends with his brother. Rog3rcat
19. Snacktime....
I showed this boy in my first grade class this cool rock I found, as I was convinced it was a moon rock. He asked to hold it to admire it so I let him, and then he proceeded to launch it into the forest and laugh at me.
So I did what I had to. I grabbed my chocolate pudding container and put it in the pocket of his sweater and smacked it so hard it exploded all over him.
Even though I lost that cool rock and my afternoon snack, I kept my pride that day. orangecrushh99
18. So Hollywood...
It was like out of a movie.
He was making fun of me and I taunted him back. He came at me and when he got close I put my hands up in a "don't hit me" position, but he slipped on a wet piece of wood and fell.
That's not what the other kids saw. Everyone else saw him come at me and then my hands flew up at his face and he hit the ground. They thought I was a god that decked him in the face.
I didn't even get in trouble because the recess teachers saw how the whole thing actually played out and he got in trouble.
We became recess buddies after that. coscojo
17. The Sidestep....
In a high school soccer game, this jerk I was guarding kept sneaking in dirty shots (kicks & elbows) when the ref wasn't looking.
After that had gone on for a while, he turned his back to me so he could receive a pass. He kept banging his body into mine (right behind him) to clear out space.
I timed it just right, and as he tried to hurl himself backward into me one more time, I sidestepped and gave him a little shove... and he stumbled out of control, arms flailing, and fell flat on his back.
I wasn't a very physical player, so my teammates who saw that were surprised. The best part was when some of them just cracked up laughing. MisterBigDude
16. Weeded....
Giphy
Gave 3 guys a half ounce to beat him up and tell him to leave me alone.
They did. He did. Wrong_Answer_Willie
15. JUSTICE!!!
He destroyed my math project and pushed me down the stairs a bunch of times. I got his black belt taken away. snakyman
As a dojang mom of twelve years, this gives me a raging justice erection. Any kid wearing our name who bullies would meet exactly the same fate because OH HECK NO!!
Courtesy. Integrity. Self-control. Perseverance. Indomitable spirit. Bullying violates every tenet and shames the martial artist and the art alike. philemonslady
14. The Lawn Fanatic.....
Not me, but a friend. She had a neighbor from hell (is there a /r/JustNoNeighbor? If not, there should be). Decades of bullying, calling the cops when her kids played basketball in the driveway after school, yelling at her whenever leaves from her tree blew into his oh-so-perfect lawn, you get the picture.
This guy was a fanatic about his lawn. Out every day weeding, raking, mowing, fertilizing, whatever.
She played the long game. Planted mint several feet from the property line where he couldn't see it. That stuff can send roots a long way. It took a couple of years, but eventually mint started popping up in his lawn. She said the look on his face the day he noticed it was priceless. He's never going to get rid of it. capilot
13. Life will take care of it....
Not a bully really, but this older girl in high school loudly announced to the cafeteria that my thighs were "so huge" as I was wearing my cheerleading uniform. A few years later, I was going through my rebellious teens and dating this older crappy guy who ran in the same circle as her.
First time I saw her I was shocked that she introduced herself to me. Then she cried about how her boyfriend just went to jail for dealing and she didn't make enough money to keep the apartment and that was all the revenge I needed. am_lady_can_confirm
12. By the Hairs....
Not me, but my mom. At the place where she worked this guy liked to pick on her. So one day he decided to take her car keys and drop them down his pants. My mom was slightly embarrassed but needed to get home, so when he proceeded to challenge her to get them, she did. While she was grabbing them she may or may not have grabbed some of his pubic hair and twisted and yanked. He didn't mess with her again. LunaLovegood05
11. How Walter of You!!!
Giphy
My ex was emotionally manipulative. When we hung out he was always logged into Netflix with my brothers account because he refused to buy his own. After we broke up I saw that he was watching Breaking Bad. So we waited until he got to the last season and changed the password. PoeMeACup
10. Every Visit.
Going to college and becoming successful. She bags my groceries everytime I visit my hometown. I know its wrong to take satisfaction from this, but I can't help it. EmeraldEmesis
9. The Punch.
This kid on the bus in middle school always used to make fun of my friend for being gay. One day he was grabbing him by the hair and slamming his head into the window while calling him gay slurs.
So I tapped him on the shoulder and gave him a really bad punch in the face that didn't feel satisfying at all. But it was enough to break his glasses and make sure he never messed with my friend again so it was a win and my first real physical confrontation. lafleurricky
8. Cats....
Giphy
This kid at my brother's middle school once cut the whiskers off of a cat's face with some friends and bragged about it. Cutting the whiskers off a cat is like torture, leaving it unable to navigate and sense things around it. The whiskers are incredibly sensitive.
My brother loves cats.
When my bro found out, he grabbed the kid by the shoulders and head butted him as hard as he could, leaving the bully crying on the ground with a broken nose, blood covering his face.
Afterwards, my brother was known affectionately around school by the nickname "Head."
And of course he got in huge trouble for it, but he didn't care. SirMauriac
7. The Floooooooor....
We had a debate (for class) and I pretty much wiped the floor with him. Dude barley even practiced plus I was the quiet kid so people expected me to be passive. LateForTheTest
6. Waddle Away....
It wasn't my doing, but the girl who harassed me and hit me in the locker rooms after gym class got pregnant and quit bullying me... in the 7th grade. I still feel weird about the all-consuming schadenfreude I experienced when I saw her waddling through the halls of our junior high. foul_dwimmerlaik
5. Damn 8th Grade....
In 8th grade there was this guy in my class who just enjoyed mocking me. I was quite chubby, shy and insecure at that time.
One day he got my school laptop somehow and played a porn video on it in the middle of the hallway with the speakers turned to 11. He was screaming "Look everybody what (my name) is watching." Everyone was looking, laughing and begged me to take back the laptop from him.
I tried taking it back be he wouldn't have it. We had a small fight over it, all this while I was really embarrassed, sad and angry as well as people filming it all.
In the end I snapped so I grabbed one of his fingers and pulled & bent it so hard I broke it. I remember he left crying after that and all the kids around us walked away like nothing happened. He never mocked me again after that. Bonnarp
4. #2020.....
Giphy
Signed them up for mormon home visits online and specified that they should be persistent. toxic_pantaloons
3. Sister got it!
Not me but my sister.
There was this girl on the bus who kept messing with her everyday. No one would do anything about it. The other girl got off first and my sister followed. She put the fear of Satan into that girl. Didn't mess with my sister again. LouTenant6767
2. One. Good. Shove.
My friend, but at the end of the year he shoves his bully into a door and the teacher arrives as he is about to fight back. Friend didn't get into trouble. Mr_Chevalier
1. Just Chew....
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Gave him a stick of gum covered in laxative. He was out for three days. homerbartbob
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
Giphy
"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Giphy
"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
Giphy
"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
Giphy
"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
