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People Who Personally Knew Someone That Went Missing Break Down What Happened

People Who Personally Knew Someone That Went Missing Break Down What Happened
StockSnap from Pixabay

WARNING: some sensitive material ahead

There is something so unnerving about disappearances.

There are so many stories out there about people who went out one day, never to be seen again.

What must that be like for those left behind to ponder what happened, to go through life without any closure or definitive answers?


Redditor ikalwewe asked the online community:

"Redditors who personally knew someone who went missing, what happened?"

"He went missing from a small town..."

Jacob Wetterling was a friend of mine. He went missing from a small town in MN in 1989. A guy in a car approached three kids and asked their age. They told him and he told two of them to leave and Jacob to get in the car. He was never seen again. Remains were found in 2016 of an 11-year-old believed to be him. His mom had become an advocate for missing child laws and the Wetterling Act.

discostud1515

An interesting fact:

Jacob Wetterling's parents, Jerry and Patty Wetterling, formed the Jacob Wetterling Foundation, an advocacy group for children's safety, just a few months after their son disappeared. The Jacob Wetterling Act, which instituted a state sex-offender registry, became federal law in 1994.

"The country where she went missing..."

An acquaintance from college who is legally blind and loved to travel went missing while visiting South America. She is of South American descent and speaks Spanish, but something must have happened to her. The country where she went missing and the U.S. have investigated and her family has gone there to look, but there are no leads. She just vanished.

InfiniteMetal

How horrible.

I can imagine it's all the more devastating when you just don't know.

"I think about it a lot."

The younger sister of a girl I knew in my hometown went missing while riding her bike home late at night back in 2012. She was 21 or 22 at the time. Really pretty, vivacious girl. The whole community was upset over it.

They found her smashed-up bike a week or so later 25 miles or so from where she was last seen. She rode past several businesses on her way home, so there was a lot of video surveillance footage. Police tracked down a truck that seemed like it was following her.

The owner of the truck was arrested and they found her body about a week later. She apparently put up a good fight when she was abducted - her killer checked into the hospital the next day with multiple stab wounds. He confessed to the crime in exchange for no chance of getting the death penalty and said that she pepper-sprayed him as well. I remember her sister talking to the press while she was missing saying, "Keep an eye out for someone that looks beat up, like they got in a fight". She knew her sister would go down swinging.

Really sad story, I think about it a lot. It's a college town and it wasn't uncommon at all for young adults to walk or bike home after a night out. At her age, my friends and I were doing the same thing. I feel like the city was never really the same after she was killed.

SpeedingsRise

And truthfully, how could it be?

At the very least, this person was arrested and taken off the streets. However, that is by no means a balm for the family that has to live with the loss.

"Her car turned up..."

A friend and co-worker of my mom's just didn't make it home from work one night. Her car turned up beside a dirt roadway outside town a few weeks later with her purse still in it. This was in the early-mid 80s, so there was no cell phone to track, no indication she stopped anywhere with security cameras, she was just gone.

Her skeletal remains were found by a hunter in a completely different place from her car about 2 years later, and as far as I know, I'm pretty sure her murder is still unsolved today.

talidrow​

Wow.

This is scary to read and honestly, it's an example of what a lot of people would find baffling today. It's quite difficult to just disappear but it still happens (and at the time this crime took place, it was much easier to do or get away with).

"Nobody is sure..."

My cousin's toddler disappeared somewhere between eight to ten years ago, having been last seen by a neighbour wandering on the road in front of their house. This is a small village where most everyone knows everyone else, but it's very racially divided (natives vs immigrants). One of the neighbours said they saw a truck owned by a couple of natives with poor reputations drive slowly by the house right around the time the little girl (immigrant) went missing.

Nobody is sure what happened, but the child was found days later, dead, in a field about two miles from the house. This was a baby less than two years old.

shoopvedoobop

A child taken away.

For many parents, there is no greater pain. And a crime like this ultimately leaves a stain on a community.

"He went to San Diego..."

A cousin left his wife and a newborn boy, which he claimed was not his, in our Midwestern state. He went to San Diego, worked his way through law school, passed the California bar on the first try. Mid-nineties he's living with a girlfriend helping her prepare for the bar exam. By the end of the decade, he's vanished, none of us family know what happened to him.

hucksire

Side note:

My own family experienced something similar, though this story involves an aunt of mine. She pretty much vanished and we heard nothing from her for over 12 years. We didn't have an idea of where to find her. It turned out she was in the same city but had been dealing with mental health problems that contributed to her falling off the map.

"A hunter found her remains..."

8-year-old kid. She took a shortcut between her house and the neighbors' (rural area). Her sister and friend made it home but she never did. The army was in town for the entire summer and they had heat-seeking helicopters looking for her. A hunter found her remains outside the search area 5 months later. Super sad.

MizElaneous

And no one was able to figure out what happened?

Terribly sad for everyone involved.

"One day his wife reported..."

Local man went missing. Town of 300 and he hitch-hiked from one side to the other every single day because nobody's works and he was a bored 65-year-old.

One day his wife reported that he'd never come home. It wasn't entirely impossible that he'd huddled in the woods for the night, but after two days without his heart meds, they assumed the worst.

His body has still not been found, but a guy was arrested four weeks later after his ditched truck was found in a random place. There was blood on the front that he claimed to be moose blood, but it turned out to be Andy's blood. He had run him over and didn't know what to do, so he drove his body to the causeway and dumped him into the ocean. RIP Andy.

Rescue320

This is horrific. To hit and run (and attempt to cover up the crime) is egregious.

"We hired a PI..."

My uncle went missing. He was kind of the black sheep of the family. Stole money, he was an alcoholic, absentee father. It didn't raise too many questions initially. A missing person's report was filed, but nothing was really done due to his track record. We hired a PI, and they traced where he ended up. He'd been murdered by his then-girlfriend and the girlfriend's son. Legal proceedings are still going on over a decade later.

miniature-lesbian

It is sadly not astonishing that legal proceedings are still going on.

Legal battles can take years and the court system can revictimize families. We extend our condolences.

"He went hunting..."

Good friend of mine disappeared 12 years ago. He went hunting with a couple of good friends of ours and one morning they woke up and he was just gone. His tent was perfectly fine and it didn't even look like he had slept that night. His truck, rifle, and dog were still there, but he was gone. The only thing he took was his knife and .44 Magnum. We spent a full month looking and never found a trace. Four years ago I went back and I found him. He had probably gone to take a sh!t and fell into a cave. He had lived for maybe two weeks before he died. His funeral was in 2018.

lehombrejoker

These stories are heartbreaking...

...but they are sadly a reality for far too many people out there. Remember, even when you read the paper or watch a true crime documentary, that the people being discussed were often once part of a family and had people who loved them.

If you have your own stories to share, feel free to share them in the comments below.

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People Explain What They Bought With Their First-Ever Paycheck

Reddit user MisterChiTown92 asked: 'What did you buy with your first ever work paycheck?'

Person fanning out wad of $100 bills
Alexander Mils/Unsplash

Working a first job is an important part of growing up.

Whether it's working a paper route (do kids even do this anymore?) or working at a video rental store (do those even exist anymore?) first-ever part-time jobs establish important life values and lessons to the youth.

Also, there's nothing that validates accomplishment at a young age more than being able to buy something with their hard-earned money.

Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor MisterChiTown92 asked:

"What did you buy with your first ever work paycheck?"

These generous Redditors found value in paying it forward.

Dinner's On Me

"It was 1976, I was making a whopping $2.50/hour at age 16 (20 cents higher than minimum wage, and it was an office job so I wasn't on my feet all day)....my family didn't have a lot of money (which is why I started working while in the 11th grade), so with my first paycheck I took my Mom and brothers out to dinner at Big Boy. I remember being all proud to say 'Get whatever you want, even the combo meal and a milkshake, it's on me."'

– Ouisch

Dinner Miscalculation

"I took my mom out to a fancy French restaurant. I had no idea how much it was going to cost, then plus tip, I didn’t even have enough! So she had to help me pay the rest. My mom still joke about that from time to time when we go out with the family."

"That was almost 25 yrs ago, damn time flew by."

– jonwtc

Gift For Mom

"I bought my mother a beautiful shawl. I never saw her wear it but it was in with her things when she died nearly 50 years later."

– WakingOwl1

These Redditors got to reward themselves with the things they enjoy most.

Creating Memories

"About twenty bucks of my first paper route earnings, for the pizza buffet and soft drinks, and some arcade games, with my best friend."

"While the shape I've been in has varied over the years, I've kept that stamina I built up hauling around damn near my weight in newsprint. For long endurance rides, hikes with a loaded-up pack, and running."

– ArmsForPeace84

Brand New Kicks

"I was 14 and got a job as a bus boy at a local BBQ joint. With my first check, I went and bought myself a pair of blue/brown Airwalk shoes. I remember how cool it felt to be able to buy something for myself and not have to ask my parents."

– johnnybmagic

Scoring Big Time

"A Playstation 2. Excellent buy, kept it for a over decade before buying an Xbox One."

– Birdo-the-Besto

"It was an Xbox 360 for me. Loved that console."

– HabeLinkin

"Still have a modded PS2. Had a hard drive with games on it too. It still turns on last I checked, I wonder if the hard drive still works..."

–DubaU

A Timeless Treasure

"My family owned a construction business, and my father had me on site for as long as I could remember. I don't remember the first thing I ever bought with what he paid me, but I remember the first thing I set out to buy and had to work for weeks to get the money for. It was a Lego castle set. $49. I'm almost 50 now, and I still have it."

– Spodson

Naughty Pleasures

"lol I bought a candy g-string so I could eat it off of my girlfriend while she was wearing it, and a black cowboy hat with spikes on it from Hot Topic hahaha"

dirtydickmf

Some recalled having to prioritize taking care of business over indulgences.

The Necessities

"gasoline and insurance to continue to be able to go to work."

– TurpitudeSnuggery

"I remember getting my first paycheck being so proud of it and my stepfather goes wow you don't have enough for gas. How are you getting to work for the next two weeks? Made me realize I needed to work more."

"I should also put in here that this was my first on the books paycheck. Made it feel a little different."

– truelydorky

Saving Up For Wheels

"Used to mow lawns and do odd jobs for cash when I was a kid. When I got my first 'real' paycheck that I had to cash at a bank, I saved every penny for several months until I bought my first car at age 16."

"Had zero expenses back then, which made it easy to save money. Fun memory."

– YupHio

Building A Wardrobe

"Clothes."

"I had to start working at the age of 12 because my parents could no longer afford to buy clothes for me."

– Opposite-Purpose365

I worked at a video game store in the mall when I was 15.

I was miserable being stuck behind a counter in a tiny corner store with hardly any adequate air circulation. Working with a personality-clashing co-worker didn't help things either.

But when I got my first paycheck, I remember thinking it was a major milestone and reward for enduring the unpleasant work conditions.

I used my first-ever earnings on a denim jacket from the Gap at the mall where I worked. I wore that stone-washed jacket with pride at school for years.

What was your most prized purchase from your first paycheck?

man and woman at wedding with balloons
Álvaro CvG on Unsplash

Weddings are built up to be magical events heralding a happily ever after for the newly minted spouses.

But like any major life event, a lot can go wrong.

Weather, illness, natural disasters, relationship drama, family squabbles... you name it and someone, somewhere has seen it at a wedding.

Keep reading...Show less
assorted items at antique shop
Christelle BOURGEOIS on Unsplash

Growing up we used a can opener, toaster and hand mixer that my Mother received as wedding gifts. She was married in 1966 and those small appliances were still working well into the 1990s.

When Mum sold her house and downsized, she decided to get new small appliances that matched. The old but still functioning ones were avocado green, stainless and harvest gold.

Since then I've gone through countless electric can openers, toasters and hand mixers and none worked as well or as long as those ones from the 1960s.

The ones with moving parts don't have the same power as the old ones and the toasters all lose heating coils in just a few years.

My complaints about small appliances are mirrored by many.

Keep reading...Show less
angry girl in black and white striped shirt
Photo by Julien L on Unsplash

Double standards are an unfortunate part of society.

A double standard is when two or more individuals or sets of people are treated differently when they should be treated the same.

A good example is the difference in the way my brother and I are treated when we cook. I'm big on baking and have a natural talent for it. Whenever I bake anything, even something complicated, like cheesecake, I'm given minimal praise, if any at all. This is because I'm a woman, and in my family culture, women are expected to be able to bake.

My brother isn't as good a baker as me and rarely does it, but when he does, he is praised for subpar brownies because he's a man and it's amazing he can even cook as well as he does.

I'm not the only one who has experience with this.

Redditors have identified many double standards in society and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor Extreme-Minute-4746 asked:

"What double standards make you angry?"

Civil Service

"As a federal government employee, why do I have to follow all kinds of ethics rules, but politicians and judges don’t?"

– mittychix

"F**k, right? I have to spend six weeks reviewing documentation and hearing out dozens of random companies to award a £100k contract but the minister who runs my department can give his mate's company a multi-million£ contract to run ferries without even getting quotes - DESPITE THAT COMPANY NOT HAVING AND FERRIES AND THE PORT IN QUESTION NOT HAVING CAPACITY FOR THEM."

"I left the civil service after that one."

– Disco_is_Death

"This. Yeah I could get in trouble for accepting a gift over $50 (like I have that much influence anyway) but politicians and judges get lobbied millions..it's infuriating."

– gtbeam3r

"Yes. And they get to keep their jobs for being completely dysfunctional, but if I pulled a fraction that garbage, I’d be fired."

– TrekJaneway

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

"That some people expect you to respect their no, whilst they will most definitely not respect yours."

– IvyBloodroot

"On that note, respecting someone as an authority is often equated to respecting someone as an individual."

"Eg. Teachers who say if you don't respect me (as a superior), I won't respect you (as a person), when they're really not the same thing."

– Paperonia

The Bullied

"School bullying."

"The kid getting picked on has essentially no power. Go to a teacher? Get labeled a snitch and tattle tale. Don't do anything? You're just made an easier target. The moment they fight back, they're the ones who end up dealing with detention, suspension, expulsion, etc. You have more power as a bully in the schools than the victim."

– FriskeCrisps

"It's because bullied people are usually rule followers, and the school wants the problem dealt with as quickly as possible. Best way to do that is to expect the rule follower to follow rules, rather than the rule breaker to suddenly change their ways."

"Fairness ends up on the chopping block."

– darsynia

Services Cliff

"I'm 41 years old and have Cerebral Palsy. If I try to find anything related to the disease - how to deal with it, any kind of ongoing care - it is virtually impossible because all the care is just for children with CP. It's like once you turn 18 the world just doesn't care anymore."

– Zechnophobe

"I’m autistic and in the same boat. “How to deal with a child who…” I'M ASKING FOR ME."

– aroaceautistic

A Two-Way Street

"People who are obsessed with the idea of kids being respectful towards adults, but don't treat kids with respect in turn."

"Edit for example: I went to a very old-fashioned school where the rule was that when an adult entered the room, even in the library and break/lunch, every student in the room had to immediately fall silent - mid sentence, mid word, didn't matter - and stand up until we were given permission to sit back down again. If we didn't, we were chewed out and sometimes even given detentions. The argument was that it trained us into respect, but I was also brought up to believe it's rude to interrupt, and it felt like the teachers were constantly interrupting us."

– MerylSquirrel

"My father in law is like that. He’s “kids should be seen and not heard” type of old school."

"But then he wonders why the children in the family all steer clear of him and why they disregard most things he says."

– Macintosh0211

Doctor, Doctor

"This might be a bit controversial, but I’ve come across a couple of doctors who demand special treatment away from work but preach and practice treating all their patients equally."

– kimchi-pancake

"They charge you a fee or cancel if you’re 5 minutes late but have no problem leaving you waiting for hours. I’ve waited an hour in the lobby and another in the actual examination room."

– SadComfort8692

"Same! i can understand if it’s out of their control but i could hear her, clear as day, giggling with her coworkers about her weekend. i waited 20 in the lobby and 20 in the exam room. i love a good gab but, for f**k’s sake, do it later! if i yapped outside for 20 minutes, it would be a $50 fee and another 4 month long wait to be seen again."

"I suddenly had a $50 i-can-hear-you-nattering-through-the-wall fee. she laughed but it’s been collecting interest ever since…"

– manyfeetball

Alcohol Is Alcohol

"Beer drinkers act like they aren’t alcoholics because they don’t drink hard liquor. Ok sir you just drank 25 beers and then looked at me sideways for drinking a g&t at the family reunion."

– Brainfog_shishkabob

"Same goes for the “sophisticated” wine drinkers..."

"Stop judging me for enjoying a drink on the terrace a few times a year, when you empty 1-2 bottles each evening..."

– 2Madam_Mimmm

"That’s definitely the way it is. I’ve got a snotty alcoholic family member, that THINKS she’s sophisticated, because she drinks high dollar wine, out of very expensive glasses."

"Yeah, pissing yourself and passing out, in front of the mailbox, are definitely the traits of a sophisticated person."

– sweathogbrooklyn

Mr. Mom

"Fathers taking care of their kids."

"I take my kids to doctor appointments, dentist appointments, take them to school, and pick them up. I do all that stuff."

"Every single f**king time, it's, “Dad’s babysitting today?” Or some stupid comment like that. No, I’m not babysitting. I’m being a f**king parent!"

"I hate the double standard that dads can’t do stuff like that with their kids."

"I can’t take my daughter to the park without being questioned or looked at funny either."

"People need to give dads more respect. A lot of us bust our a**es too. I work hard. I take care of my kids, I play with my kids. I clean the house. I do laundry. I don’t stop. I don’t rest, I don’t relax."

– moms-sphaghetti

"Give us changing tables in the men's room!"

– Da1UHideFrom

"Nothing bugs me more than when a place only has changing tables in the women's bathroom."

"It's 2023, I take my son to the aquarium by myself sometimes... Looking at you London SeaLife centre 🤨"

– AstonVanilla

Household Split

"The laundry is always a wierd one. My wife is a much better cook than me. And she hates me cooking when she's in the house. So to compensate I do all the laundry, including ironing before someone mentions it, and all the washing of dishes."

"But even at work, this doesn't seem to be understood as possible. I complained my washing machine had broken and the comment was 'Oh no, what's wife's name going to do?'"

"To which the answer was 'Wonder why I haven't done the washing this week.'"

"But it's infuriating."

– RelativeStranger

Justice Is Bought

"The American justice system. You can afford the best and many more lawyers when you have money."

– TooAfraidToAsk814

"Justice is blind, but the b*tch sure can smell money."

– burgher89

Worship

"I am supposed to respect people's religion, but people aren't supposed to respect my non-religion."

"Particularly when their religion instructs them to not respect my non-religion."

– GeebusNZ

"It kinda makes my head spin that there are people who I get along well with who, per their religion, think I deserve to be tortured in agony for all eternity."

Daztur

Yup, me and my non-religious self have personal experience with that last one!